John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » 787: OMG your airspeed is dropping precipitously. Dive. Dive. Boeing: April Fools [Scary]

Friday 1 April 23:33:46 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » England is going crazy for izakayas and Japanese-style pub food and drink. "Its focus on lean meats, rice and vegetables fits perfectly with the high-protein, low-carb, gluten-averse dieters of London in 2016" [Spiffy]

Friday 1 April 23:21:31 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas lawmakers love the unborn so much they force an expectant mother to feel her body slowly strangle the life out of a fetus until it's stillborn (contains photo that may be disturbing) [Sick]

Friday 1 April 23:05:27 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [381 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch the 100 Greatest Pre-Kill One-Liners in Film History

Friday 1 April 23:00:00 UTC 2016

"Happy trails, Hans." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No matter what side of an issue you are on, it isn't usually good form for a straight up news story to call something "so-called" [Followup]

Friday 1 April 22:52:07 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » When a Congressman Asked the FTC to Fact Check The New York Times' Slogan

Friday 1 April 22:45:00 UTC 2016

Is "All the News That's Fit to Print" false advertising? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another reason not to trust the man or pigs: Pigs squeal to one of their own about a man trying to save on shipping costs by packing 20 pigs in his own van [Weird]

Friday 1 April 22:44:07 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A 10-Year-Old Girl Made Herself a Prosthetic Arm That Doubles as a Glitter Cannon

Friday 1 April 22:30:00 UTC 2016

The whimsical creation shoots puffs of sparkles into the air with the pull of a string. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tucker the turtle can't fart, gets treated for the bends [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 22:28:54 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing to see here. Just a police officer giving a rectal search on the side of the road. Of course no drugs were found [Asinine]

Friday 1 April 22:28:35 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Hush-Hush Facts About ‘L.A. Confidential’

Friday 1 April 22:24:43 UTC 2016

The Oscar-winning film was so complex that even its creator, legendary crime writer James Ellroy, thought it was “unadaptable.” [Link]

Mental Floss » Family Spots Rare Florida Panther Lounging on Their Porch

Friday 1 April 22:15:00 UTC 2016

There are between 80 and 180 Florida panthers left in the wild. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because no one finds terrorism funny, newspaper forced to apologize for their 'Paddy Jihaddy' April Fool's Day prank [Fail]

Friday 1 April 22:09:07 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » There's a Secret Apartment at the Top of the Eiffel Tower—and You Can Visit It

Friday 1 April 22:00:00 UTC 2016

Gustave Eiffel used his private aerie to receive notable guests like Thomas Edison and for private reflection. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paring knife, check. Carefully remove excessive fat from fish, check. Prepare frying pan, check. Release fish back into its native goldfish tank? [Asinine]

Friday 1 April 21:43:08 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This App Locks Your Phone When You Need to Be Productive

Friday 1 April 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Your phone doesn't have to be an endless source of distraction. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school football player tackles shoplifter. If he clears concussion protocol, he should even be able to tell his grandkids about it [Stupid]

Friday 1 April 21:27:22 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » LEGO’s Disney Minifigure Collection Will Hit Stores in May

Friday 1 April 21:15:00 UTC 2016

Your favorite Disney and Pixar characters are getting the minifig treatment. [Link]

Mental Floss » Show

Friday 1 April 21:00:00 UTC 2016

Renaissance-era kings and princes liked to think of themselves as the spiritual and actual descendants of ancient Roman conquerors. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This dude got so drunk he couldn't set a gas station on fire. Not that he didn't try. And try. And try [Fail]

Friday 1 April 20:51:46 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And in today's OCD news, this California guy has spent the last three years building the world's most elaborate marble maze in his garage and he's not even close to done [Weird]

Friday 1 April 20:51:12 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Researchers May Have Found North America's Second Viking Site

Friday 1 April 20:45:00 UTC 2016

"Space archaeologist" Sarah Parcak located the potential site using satellite imagery. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nobody's sure if this thing is an April Fool's joke by the newspaper or a tuber-type Medusa that just ported over from a nearby circle of hell, but now you look at it for a while [Scary]

Friday 1 April 20:38:27 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hello. My name is Sue, Sue Magina. Is the governor available? I'd like to discuss my menstrual cycle [Amusing]

Friday 1 April 20:37:26 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Proper Facts About British Shorthairs

Friday 1 April 20:30:00 UTC 2016

As its name suggests, this type of cat is as traditionally English as tea and scones. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police arrest three bikini-wearing women accused of beating up a fourth bikini-wearing woman after reviewing video taped evidence over and over and over and over again [Giggity]

Friday 1 April 20:18:12 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's news came as a shock to everyone that forgot what day it is [Amusing]

Friday 1 April 20:14:07 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl designs a prosthetic superhero arm that can shoot glitter and names it 'Project Unicorn.' [Hero]

Friday 1 April 20:11:49 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 250 families in Flint have clean water to drink because this woman squatted on Dr. Pepper's Twitter handle [Spiffy]

Friday 1 April 20:07:12 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these screamers [Photoshop]

Friday 1 April 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Most Ridiculous Baseball Hot Dog Topping Yet

Friday 1 April 20:00:00 UTC 2016

Baseball season is upon us, and the people that dream up new hot dog toppings are just messing with us now. This new and ridiculous topping combination is clearly just designed to see if we’ll go with it. * Remember how so many 1980s movie villains were Russians? The AV Club explains why there wasn’t a wealth of American bad … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I used to be a philanderer like you, until I took a bullet to the knee and somehow the testicles [Scary]

Friday 1 April 19:54:12 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Questions still remain over the source of a mystery bacteria which killed 18 people in the Midwest. Health officials immediately wonder how a Carnival cruise ship made it all the way into Wisconsin and Michigan [Followup]

Friday 1 April 19:49:57 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're going to go around anonymously groping joggers, you probably don't want to brag about it on YouTube [Florida]

Friday 1 April 19:49:28 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Throwing cola in the face of the finance minister is just fine in Finland apparently [Obvious]

Friday 1 April 19:42:56 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And now, the Fark Weird News Quiz. Hope you studied hard this week [Survey]

Friday 1 April 19:42:04 UTC 2016

Survey [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Position of ‘Chief Wombat Cuddler’ Is Now Open

Friday 1 April 19:35:31 UTC 2016

The wombat may be adorable, but the competition will be fierce. [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Tom Hiddleston Anchor the Weather in Chicago

Friday 1 April 19:35:30 UTC 2016

“It’s going to rain a hell of a lot. So, good luck with that …” [Link]

Mental Floss » These Were the Most Popular Art Museums in the World in 2015

Friday 1 April 19:30:00 UTC 2016

More people visited the Louvre last year than any other art museum in the world, despite terror attacks in Paris. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you seen this man? We really hope not. (w/ pic) [Creepy]

Friday 1 April 19:24:12 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lamb Saagwala [Cool]

Friday 1 April 19:20:37 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three people injured in head-on collision on Curry highway, naan killed [Scary]

Friday 1 April 19:19:56 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Shocking Stories From ‘Myths and Legends’ Host Jason Weiser

Friday 1 April 19:00:00 UTC 2016

This Little Podcast That Could is consistently in iTunes Top 10—here are some of the host's favorite episodes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » EPA shuts down fracking study so EPA employee quits, files FOIAs, and finishes the study on his own [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 18:51:46 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Perspective

Friday 1 April 18:45:52 UTC 2016

AB and CD are consecutive ties across a pair of railroad tracks that appear to meet at O on the horizon, H. If the ties are parallel to the horizon and are equally spaced along the tracks, how can we draw the next tie in this perspective figure? Click for solution … Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadian government releases Wolverine's World War I service papers [Spiffy]

Friday 1 April 18:36:23 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What could possibly be more stupid than getting a tattoo of your best mate's penis on your leg while drunk? How about the piece you decide to have inked over it, in order to cover it up. (Mildly not safe for work) [Stupid]

Friday 1 April 18:36:14 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Churchill: Precursor of a Farker [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 18:30:49 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [11 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Study: Arachnophobia Causes Spiders To Look Bigger

Friday 1 April 18:30:00 UTC 2016

It’s been found that the brains of those who suffer from arachnophobia could be perceiving the spiders as much larger than they actually are. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » Even When Women Are Saving, They’re Spending on Luxury Makeup

Friday 1 April 18:30:00 UTC 2016

Getting your brows on fleek is worth the splurge. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Officials say Nerf gun wars become less safe when participants add drive-bys and nudity rules [Obvious]

Friday 1 April 18:03:53 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » America’s 12 Best Chocolate Mousses

Friday 1 April 18:00:00 UTC 2016

There are plenty of ways to celebrate National Chocolate Mousse Day right. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ontario teacher now up to 38 charges of sexual misconduct. That's almost 40 charges and that's terrible [Fail]

Friday 1 April 17:48:52 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [63 comments] [Link]

The Onion » ‘The Time To Act Is Now,’ Says Yellowing Climate Change Report Sitting In University Archive

Friday 1 April 17:45:00 UTC 2016

BERKELEY, CA—Warning society that it has reached a crucial tipping point from which it may never be able to recover, a brittle, yellowing report sitting in the archives of the University of California’s Bioscience & Natural Resources Library reportedly urged readers Friday that “the time to act against climate change is right now.” “Any further delay in ending the international … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Korea 'shops Kim Jong-Un to make him look thinner as he warned North Koreans to begin preparing for famine [Followup]

Friday 1 April 17:33:05 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Science of Microwave Energy Made Visual

Friday 1 April 17:30:00 UTC 2016

This cool video uses indicator lamps and heated glass to show what microwave energy looks like. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you left six live WWII anti-tank rockets behind a bus stop in Essex, the police would really like to speak with you [Scary]

Friday 1 April 16:59:57 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review

Friday 1 April 16:56:36 UTC 2016

Odd stories from all over. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Unlimited Facts About Fazoli’s

Friday 1 April 16:56:35 UTC 2016

Billions of breadsticks served. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea continues their furious attack on their most hated enemy … the sea. Victory is assured. We will prevail [Followup]

Friday 1 April 16:40:56 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The First Oval Office Phone Wasn't Installed Until 1929

Friday 1 April 16:30:00 UTC 2016

Back when a telegram was the only alternative, it's hard to imagine anyone operating without a phone—especially the President of the United States. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ten common pieces of travel advice you should actually never follow. It's not on the list, so I'm assuming you still should always look for the biggest, toughest local and punch him in the face as a way of getting respect [Obvious]

Friday 1 April 16:29:57 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [137 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » mackamuir says FML

Friday 1 April 16:28:45 UTC 2016

Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 4th Annual Farks In The Wild at the Buffalo Zoo. July 20, 6pm – Completely SOLD OUT [FarkParty]

Friday 1 April 16:27:16 UTC 2016

FarkParty [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's always important to get to know your coworkers. It builds camaraderie, boosts productivity, and prevents those embarrassing moments when an on-duty police officer solicits sex from an undercover officer [Florida]

Friday 1 April 16:26:54 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A brief history of some of most notorious, successful and truly cringe-worthy April Fools day jokes. Come for the washing of the lions, stay for the Swiss spaghetti harvest [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 16:12:53 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's your average Internet content farm's guide to winning April Fools Day [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 16:08:53 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [14 comments] [Link]

The Onion » How A Contested Convention Would Work

Friday 1 April 16:05:00 UTC 2016

With the Republican Party potentially headed to its convention without a clear-cut presidential nominee, The Onion answers common questions about how a contested convention would work.
Q: What is a contested convention?
A: A way to ensure the voice of the people is heard and then checked for any obvious mistakes. Q: How does a contested convention come about?
A: Simply too …


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Federal court rules that skim milk is an imitation milk product, will now be labeled 'milky white water' [Florida]

Friday 1 April 15:39:57 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School district forced to distribute atheist and satanic literature after they illegally handed out bibles. C'mon down for your free copy of "The Satanic Children's Big Book of Activities" [Awkward]

Friday 1 April 15:35:16 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scarlett Robohansson [Creepy]

Friday 1 April 15:34:03 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find Today, April 1

Friday 1 April 15:27:54 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, April 1. Mental Floss has affiliate relationships with certain retailers and may receive a small percentage of any sale. But we only get commission on items you buy and don’t return, so we’re only happy if … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The Naked Truth

Friday 1 April 15:27:46 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal Special: Curry Bible. Flying Spaghetti Monster…confused. (UnSponsored Link) [Plug]

Friday 1 April 15:15:26 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [3 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 1 April 15:08:56 UTC 2016

Today, after weeks of being engaged and with the wedding date planned, I finally told my parents. They told me it was my best April Fool's joke ever. I should've waited one more day. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Ace says FML

Friday 1 April 15:08:55 UTC 2016

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 1 April 15:08:54 UTC 2016

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML [Link]

FMyLife » dickface says FML

Friday 1 April 15:08:53 UTC 2016

Today, the cut on my face from getting hit with a baseball healed. It's left a dick-shaped scar. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Got a tattoo in a "I will never have a job that will pay taxes" location? Good news: You can now join the Navy. They want you, they want you, they want you as a new recruit [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 15:03:18 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » As Directed

Friday 1 April 15:01:52 UTC 2016

After being struck by a car in January 1932, Winston Churchill found himself laid up in New York at the height of Prohibition. He convinced his attending physician to write the prescription above. “I neither want it [brandy] nor need it,” he once said, “but I should think it pretty hazardous to interfere with the ineradicable habit of a lifetime.” … [Link]

Mental Floss » Japanese Raindrop Cake Is Coming to America

Friday 1 April 15:00:00 UTC 2016

The ephemeral dessert sensation is very pretty, and pretty easy to make. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Second Generation Lytro Camera. How many photographers does it take to change a lightbulb? 50. One to change the bulb and 49 to say "I could have done that." (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Friday 1 April 14:56:59 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [0 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S., Britain to stage cyberattack test on nuclear plant, exchange nuclear waste. Yeah, this should end well. Nothing to worry about. Not a thing could go wrong. Sleep tight [Scary]

Friday 1 April 14:55:56 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.K. minimum wage increases to $10.35 today. Collapse of civilisation tomorrow [Spiffy]

Friday 1 April 14:50:55 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [30 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Failure To Get Into Private College To Be Most Financially Responsible Act Of 17-Year-Old’s Life

Friday 1 April 14:45:00 UTC 2016

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Saying the turn of events will greatly benefit the 17-year-old’s economic security, sources confirmed Friday that local high school senior Emily Harrison’s failure to get into the University of Southern California, a private academic institution, will be the single most financially responsible act of her entire life. According to reports, Harrison’s rejected application, which she spent weeks preparing … [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Out-Of-This-World Facts About ‘The Jetsons’

Friday 1 April 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Meet George Jetson … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » More Like I Played Hockey with It– Was That Wrong?

Friday 1 April 14:18:08 UTC 2016

Secretary: My mouse stopped working.
Tech guy: Was this after you dropped it?
Secretary: Yes. Public University
New Jersey Overheard by: Clark W. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do geniuses have in common with autistic children? Aside from being vaccinated properly, that is [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 14:15:32 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's obese now outnumber the underweight [Scary]

Friday 1 April 13:55:00 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [131 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » missmcfarty says FML

Friday 1 April 13:51:08 UTC 2016

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML [Link]

FMyLife » WHY says FML

Friday 1 April 13:51:07 UTC 2016

Today, I planned on "breaking up" with my best friend by confessing my love for her, hoping she would feel different and move on. She reciprocated. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police finally make an arrest in the case of the girl who got groped and pepper-sprayed at a Trump rally. Specifically, the girl who got groped and pepper-sprayed [Murica]

Friday 1 April 13:39:51 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [428 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » These Magnetic Bells and Bike Lights Are Easy to Attach and Remove

Friday 1 April 13:30:00 UTC 2016

Make sure your bike accessories are never stolen again. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can stop now, the prize for Best April Fools Surprise has already been won [Hero]

Friday 1 April 13:04:14 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these nine balls [Photoshop]

Friday 1 April 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Now Send Quotes From Audiobooks and Podcasts

Friday 1 April 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Audible's Clips service makes it easy to send inspiring words from classic works or a gut buster from a recent podcast. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Famous Birthdays to Celebrate in April

Friday 1 April 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Have some cake this month on behalf of these historical figures, all of whom were born in April. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I can haz gender assignment surgery? [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 12:27:21 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Sisters ate newspaper to survive

Friday 1 April 12:16:19 UTC 2016

February 1980: The Schreiner sisters, Naomi (76) and Ruth (74), were found dead in their Columbus, Ohio home, apparently starved to death. In the house were found "little rolls of newspaper on plates as if the women had been eating them."

Neighbors had sensed something was going wrong with the sisters for a while, and some had offered to help … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While you were busy worrying about Diebold's electronic voting machines, this guy spent the past decade manipulating Central and South American elections, and his boss is in talks with a US candidate [Interesting]

Friday 1 April 12:11:38 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Quick Video Analysis of Great Movie Moments

Friday 1 April 12:00:00 UTC 2016

While we might be more likely to remember big moments and dramatic images, it’s the little details that help you fully appreciate a filmmaker’s mastery of their craft. [Link]

Weird Universe » The Dogs’ Dinner at Newport

Friday 1 April 11:47:49 UTC 2016

One of the more infamous excesses of the Gilded Age at Newport, Rhode Island, was the "Dogs' Dinner."

Original article here.

Original page here.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » U mad? Don b h8r, dis totes on fleek [Unlikely]

Friday 1 April 11:40:00 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Japan Approves Plans to Build an Ice Wall to Contain Nuclear Contaminants

Friday 1 April 11:30:00 UTC 2016

The $312 million project will create an underground soil freezing system to contain radioactive water. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple awakes to 400-pound bear licking their bedroom window. Same thing happened to me last time I got drunk at a pride parade [Scary]

Friday 1 April 11:23:21 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Naked Truth

Friday 1 April 11:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 1 April 10:57:39 UTC 2016

Today, I took a two-hour bus ride to get to orientation, got stuck a block away because the pedestrian sidewalk was closed, waited half-an-hour for my ride in the rain, when someone called the cops on me for acting suspicious. I got to the interview soaking wet, and they told me they'd rescheduled. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 1 April 10:57:38 UTC 2016

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML [Link]

FMyLife » yeueid says FML

Friday 1 April 10:57:37 UTC 2016

Today, I found out that whenever I text my boyfriend something cute, he texts his friends and asks what to say in his reply. Basically, I've been talking to his friends all the time. FML [Link]

FMyLife » babysonfire says FML

Friday 1 April 10:57:36 UTC 2016

Today, I woke up to the sounds of fire alarms. Panicked and assuming it was my neighbor's gas furnace that set it off, I nearly broke their baby's bedroom window trying to wake them up. Turns out my roof leaked into the fire alarm, causing an electrical fire. It was my first day here. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ladies and gentlemen, your cruise ship is now arriving at Pier 1…Pier 2…Pier 3 [Scary]

Friday 1 April 10:51:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mothers mostly hire magicians or clowns for an 8-year old's birthday party. Mostly (possibly Not safe for work) [Florida]

Friday 1 April 10:50:15 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Amazing Zaha Hadid-Designed Buildings

Friday 1 April 10:30:00 UTC 2016

A look back at the work of the Pritzker-winning architect known as the "Queen of the Curve." [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Death Valley in Bloom

Friday 1 April 9:30:00 UTC 2016

Start your day with these great links -no follin'! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After shooting and killing an unarmed man, the departmental investigation leads to a severe slap on the wrist for a Mesa police officer. Oh, wait…the victim was melanin deficient. Switch that to 'fired and facing second degree murder charges&#3

Friday 1 April 9:16:28 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [91 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » SeverelyAnnoyed says FML

Friday 1 April 9:07:26 UTC 2016

Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC riders at Herald Square subway station discover that, yes, there are smells worse than drunken hobo piss [Unlikely]

Friday 1 April 8:37:28 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Miniature Gadgets That Can Fit in Your Pocket

Friday 1 April 8:30:00 UTC 2016

Here are some handy gadgets that you can take anywhere. [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Signs It's Time to Look for a New Job

Friday 1 April 7:52:38 UTC 2016

Presented by Allstate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The CIA would like to assure everyone that the explosive they left on a Loudoun County school bus after it was used for a training session would not have exploded without a blasting cap so you don't have to ask about any of this [Scary]

Friday 1 April 7:36:31 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Uses for keeping old magazines

Friday 1 April 7:25:17 UTC 2016

collage collect magazines old Pie Chart read school - 3456187136 Graph by: connorr134 Tagged: collage , collect , magazines , old , Pie Chart , read , school Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They've Got Great Lobstahh

Friday 1 April 7:24:50 UTC 2016

When People Find Out I'm from Boston, they: Graph by: Tagged: accents , ben affleck , boston , harvard , Pie Chart , seafood Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Look at That Natural Wave!

Friday 1 April 7:24:40 UTC 2016

annoying hair Pie Chart styled Graph by: ohnehinundaber Tagged: annoying , hair , Pie Chart , styled Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Friday 1 April 7:24:39 UTC 2016

boxing cinderella man girls jump rope Russell Crowe venn diagram - 4385612800 Graph by: SerenityD Tagged: boxing , cinderella man , girls , jump rope , Russell Crowe , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » College Students Create an EpiPen That Fits in Your Wallet

Friday 1 April 7:00:00 UTC 2016

The AdrenaCard is a small, thin epinephrine injector that might hit the market as soon as 2018. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trooper who was shot in that Virginia Greyhound Bus station shootout has died [Sad]

Friday 1 April 6:03:09 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [82 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Oculus Rift Released

Friday 1 April 5:30:00 UTC 2016

The Oculus Rift, the most advanced virtual reality headset to date, launched this week and costs approximately $1,600 when paired with a capable PC and accompanying games, though all units are currently on back order. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » Book Collecting Is a Competitive Sport

Friday 1 April 5:00:00 UTC 2016

National Collegiate Book Collecting Contest recognizes the best in youth book collecting. [Link]

Mental Floss » 19 Offbeat Holidays You Can Celebrate in April

Friday 1 April 4:18:12 UTC 2016

Spring is in the air—and with these offbeat holidays, there's more than just the weather to celebrate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mississippi Senate approves scariest anti-LGBT "religious liberty" bill yet. Because unlike Georgia and North Carolina, Mississippi doesn't have anything of value for outsiders to boycott [Scary]

Friday 1 April 4:16:21 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [359 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Artist 3D Prints Replicas of Artifacts Destroyed by Terrorism

Friday 1 April 4:00:00 UTC 2016

Morehshin Allahyari is making sure these treasures aren't forgotten. [Link]

Mental Floss » Archaeologists in Italy Find Rare Stele Inscribed in Etruscan

Friday 1 April 3:45:00 UTC 2016

The 500-pound Etruscan artifact was uncovered in a dig near Florence, Italy. [Link]

Mental Floss » Transparent Wood Could One Day Replace Glass Windows

Friday 1 April 3:30:00 UTC 2016

This new building material is straight out of an eco-friendly sci-fi novel. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pentagon: No, we have not created Skynet yet. But we totally could, so don't fark with us [Murica]

Friday 1 April 3:04:52 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the 14-Year-Old Girl Who Plans to Complete the 'Polar Hat Trick'

Friday 1 April 3:00:00 UTC 2016

Jade Hameister wants to become the youngest person ever to cross the North Pole, South Pole, and the Greenland Crossing. [Link]

Mental Floss » What Is an Ice Volcano?

Friday 1 April 2:59:50 UTC 2016

Not all volcanoes are hot, as Pluto, Enceladus, Titan, and other celestial bodies are teaching us. [Link]

Mental Floss » Buzz Aldrin Gives a Virtual Tour of Mars in NASA's New Exhibit

Friday 1 April 2:59:49 UTC 2016

Take a guided tour of Mars, no space travel required. [Link]

Mental Floss » This Website Creates a Personalized Typeface Using Your Voice

Friday 1 April 2:30:00 UTC 2016

Ever wondered what you look like as a font? [Link]

Mental Floss » Commuting by Public Transit Is Better for You Than Driving

Friday 1 April 2:15:00 UTC 2016

A study shows that men who take public transit weigh 5 lbs. less than those who drive. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While Amazon is still working out delivering small items with drones, Atlas has perfected delivering full sized inflatable slides right to your front yard using a Boeing 767 [Scary]

Friday 1 April 2:07:48 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Here Are the 10 Worst Cities for People with Allergies

Friday 1 April 2:00:00 UTC 2016

Moving away may not be an option, but there are still things you can do. [Link]

FMyLife » notabadserver says FML

Friday 1 April 1:50:27 UTC 2016

Today, the head chef at work yelled at me for not knowing the difference between two sauces. I couldn't win the argument, even after a coworker admitted to filling both bottles with the same sauce. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » New Magazine Wants To Show Young Girls They Can Do Anything

Friday 1 April 1:45:00 UTC 2016

A new print magazine called Kazoo is uniting top female artists, chefs, writers, and scientists for a single purpose: To inspire young girls to be their true selves. [Link]

FMyLife » Littlethings says FML

Friday 1 April 1:37:11 UTC 2016

Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » This Pool-Shaped Sculpture Pays Homage to Van Gogh's Missing Ear

Friday 1 April 1:30:00 UTC 2016

The quirky artwork sits in front of Rockefeller Center, and officially opens to the public on April 13. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pizza Hut says, "Screw it, we're stuffing doughnuts with cheese now" [Sick]

Friday 1 April 1:06:44 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Tips From Ovid for How to Get Over a Breakup

Friday 1 April 1:00:00 UTC 2016

Distract yourself, meet new people, and don't eat any onions. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Way You React to Typos Could Be Linked to Your Personality, Study Finds

Friday 1 April 0:45:00 UTC 2016

Are you a member of the grammar police, or willing to let a few typos slide? It turns out your reaction to written errors may say something about your personality. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark, behold your new snack overlord: Fried bourbon-soaked Twinkies [Amusing]

Friday 1 April 0:40:15 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New Project Maps the Sounds of Urban Life

Friday 1 April 0:30:00 UTC 2016

How much can social media tell us about street noise? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these downtown lovers [Photoshop]

Friday 1 April 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Map the Scent of Fear in the Brain

Friday 1 April 0:00:00 UTC 2016

While humans don’t respond in the same instinctive way to predator odors, researchers see similarities in the human and mouse responses to fear and stress, as in disorders like PTSD, and hope the research could lead to development of therapeutics. [Link]

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