John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » "Raw Capitalism" blamed for spread of prostitutes in Copenhagen. They should probably use lotion or something [Misc]

Wednesday 30 March 23:45:18 UTC 2016

Misc [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Search and rescue doesn't mind going and getting you if you climb a mountain and get stuck in a blizzard. Unless you're wearing shorts and the only thing you brought is a selfie stick [Dumbass]

Wednesday 30 March 23:33:07 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Sweden's Vacationing Bakers Can Hire a 'Sourdough Sitter'

Wednesday 30 March 23:30:00 UTC 2016

It's like baby-sitting, but instead of a kid you're watching wild yeast. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Court-ordered monitor who is supposed to ensure HSBC is not laundering money..again..is just a wee bit suspicious of the loans it made to a company exporting mini-skirts to Iran, and the customer who used a garbage bag of cash to open an account

Wednesday 30 March 23:25:14 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bill Cosby to be exposed by playboy [Followup]

Wednesday 30 March 23:10:06 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Want More Dates? Striking a Powerful Pose in Your Profile Picture May Help

Wednesday 30 March 23:00:00 UTC 2016

A new study shows that dominant postures may be the key to landing more dates. [Link]

Mental Floss » How 11 Lost Lines of Code Almost Broke the Internet

Wednesday 30 March 22:45:00 UTC 2016

One programmer recently learned that deleting a little bit of code can have some pretty big repercussions. [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Super Facts About 'Super Troopers'

Wednesday 30 March 22:41:41 UTC 2016

Some of the mustaches were fake, but the syrup was real. [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are There No More Dinosaurs?

Wednesday 30 March 22:30:00 UTC 2016

Scientists think a terrible event killed most of them off. But some remain—and they fly. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No charges in fatal police shooting of unarmed, handcuffed black man, possibly because well, HEY LOOK OVER THERE IT'S A UNICORN *runs away* [Asinine]

Wednesday 30 March 22:11:33 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [199 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » But, seriously. Shouldn't we all just assume at this point that *all* retention ponds have at least one body in them? [Creepy]

Wednesday 30 March 22:05:57 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Buy an Italian Castle—and Part of Its Adjoining Town—for $8.3 Million

Wednesday 30 March 22:00:00 UTC 2016

The medieval estate was once owned by princes and popes. Now, it can be yours. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump: When abortion is outlawed, women who seek them out will have to be punished. Not really sure how, but maybe something involving coat hangers would work [Scary]

Wednesday 30 March 21:50:13 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [407 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dealer: Would you like to test drive the new Mercedes? Customer: Sure. I'll just give you this stolen car to hold as collateral [Fail]

Wednesday 30 March 21:40:41 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Win a Night in an Underwater Airbnb Surrounded by 35 Sharks

Wednesday 30 March 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Enter this essay contest for the chance to literally sleep with the fishes in France. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No, you aren't being paranoid — that really is a secret camera mounted on the lightpole which the police won't talk to the media about [Scary]

Wednesday 30 March 21:05:05 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Facts About Olympic National Park

Wednesday 30 March 21:00:00 UTC 2016

4. It's home to one of the few temperate rain forests in the world. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How you can use your cellphone to determine whether your microwave is going to kill you via leaky radiation [Scary]

Wednesday 30 March 20:54:39 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Most Southern headline you'll read today: Confederate jacket sparks dispute between Huntsville collector & New Orleans museum [Murica]

Wednesday 30 March 20:35:26 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boeing says "Thank you, Washington State for all the tax breaks. Here are another 4000 pink slips to show our gratitude" [Asinine]

Wednesday 30 March 20:32:21 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Joker's True Identity

Wednesday 30 March 20:30:00 UTC 2016

Part of the allure of the Joker has always been that nobody knows his real name or where he came from. That’s about to change. * Have you dropped a bunch of money on an Oculus Rift virtual reality system? Here are the 12 best experiences you can have with one. * What happens in Vegas may stay there, but … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for my pesky kid [Dumbass]

Wednesday 30 March 20:26:26 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hollywood is lobbying to keep revenge porn legal [Creepy]

Wednesday 30 March 20:19:21 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UKIP councillor speaks own mind on Twitter, immediately backpedals, is supported by party because she's a trans woman [Dumbass]

Wednesday 30 March 20:14:27 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [42 comments] [Link]

The Onion » World Wildlife Fund Publishes Photo Of What Species Last Seen In 1987 Might Have Evolved To Look Like

Wednesday 30 March 20:07:00 UTC 2016

WASHINGTON—Hoping the release of the updated image might generate a lead on the whereabouts of the missing animal, officials from the World Wildlife Fund published a photo Wednesday depicting what the dusky seaside sparrow—last seen on June 17, 1987—may have evolved to look like. “If anyone has encountered a non-migratory songbird that matches the one shown in this picture, please … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Starting next week everyone immigrating to the UK must be compulsorily microchipped and its details registered on an approved database. Wait, it's just for dogs [Facepalm]

Wednesday 30 March 20:02:05 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop the original portable TV [Photoshop]

Wednesday 30 March 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Reebok Is Bringing Back Ripley’s Futuristic Sneakers for Alien Day

Wednesday 30 March 20:00:00 UTC 2016

In space, no one can hear your feet. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A former teen mom who dropped out of high school after one week at age 15, has just become the top education offical in Los Angeles County. So kids, remember, if you want to achieve your dreams, stay in schoo-erm, well, uhh [Ironic]

Wednesday 30 March 19:43:33 UTC 2016

Ironic [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Foreign Exchange: When the U.S. Gave Texas Land to Mexico

Wednesday 30 March 19:30:00 UTC 2016

It wasn’t ceded centuries ago—this happened in the 1970s. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets of Film Composers

Wednesday 30 March 19:00:00 UTC 2016

Sometimes, the best work is the stuff that doesn't get noticed. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a move sure to win over fans, Tick reboot to be grounded and gritty [Facepalm]

Wednesday 30 March 18:51:16 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Hollowood Function

Wednesday 30 March 18:51:00 UTC 2016

California high school student Derek Hollowood created this function after considering recurrence relations: h(x)=\frac{10^{x+1}-9x-10}{81} h(-10) = 0.987654321 h(-9) = 0.87654321 h(-8) = 0.7654321 h(-7) = 0.654321 h(-6) = 0.54321 h(-5) = 0.4321 h(-4) = 0.321 h(-3) = 0.21 h(-2) = 0.1 h(-1) = 0 h(0) = 0 h(1) = 1 h(2) = 12 h(3) = 123 h(4) = 1234 h(5) = 12345 h(6) … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefighter killed when tree falls on truck in Weare. Who's on first? I don't know [Unlikely]

Wednesday 30 March 18:41:27 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trump the Lesser apologizes for a tweet he sent out falsely identifying the woman pictured giving a Nazi salute at his father's rally as a "Bernie Sanders supporter" saying he "got bad info" and apparently does not read the news o

Wednesday 30 March 18:40:13 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having trouble getting your 36-year-old snowflake to finally leave the nest? Sue her to kick her out [Weird]

Wednesday 30 March 18:38:33 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have any old games lying around? You might want to check, because if you have any of these old classics, they could make you rich [Cool]

Wednesday 30 March 18:32:30 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Oculus Rift users suffering from "Oculus Face." Won't somebody think of the Oculus users? [Obvious]

Wednesday 30 March 18:23:04 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea says they are ready for a 'pre-emptive nuclear strike' on the US… promise not to hurt the Pacific [Unlikely]

Wednesday 30 March 18:02:53 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Blunder by CNBC Reminds Us to Keep Our Passwords Private

Wednesday 30 March 18:00:00 UTC 2016

Here's what not to do to keep your information safe online. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 30 March 17:53:48 UTC 2016

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML [Link]

FMyLife » random guy says FML

Wednesday 30 March 17:49:12 UTC 2016

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » PSA: Never leave your grocery list lying around unattended or your 6-year-old son might add a few items. Bonus: Future Farker [Amusing]

Wednesday 30 March 17:42:39 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual scientific study: People zone out on purpose when tasks are not challenging enough [Obvious]

Wednesday 30 March 17:42:12 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Ruth Bader Ginsburg Will Make a Cameo in Shakespeare's 'The Merchant of Venice'

Wednesday 30 March 17:30:00 UTC 2016

The Supreme Court justice will play the judge presiding over Shylock's trial. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying Obamacare made it worse for veterans to get services with the VA. But something did [Sad]

Wednesday 30 March 17:24:08 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [183 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We should probably just wall off some counties in California [Sick]

Wednesday 30 March 17:14:26 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The rent is too damn high and the bedbugs are too damn small [Fail]

Wednesday 30 March 17:11:27 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 of the Most Expensive Movie Props Ever Sold

Wednesday 30 March 17:00:00 UTC 2016

Many of these props languished in storage at movie studios for years before savvy people realized their worth and sold them at auction. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why white bread is junk food for ducks, explained in the most ludicrous English accent you've ever heard. It's not cool to make fun of the way people talk, but it's like, "We've doon soom research aboot whoy peeeple feed whoyt bre

Wednesday 30 March 16:54:10 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » An Illustrated Version of 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' is Coming Soon

Wednesday 30 March 16:45:00 UTC 2016

The second installment of the illustrated series is coming this fall. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First-graders in Alaska accused of trying to kill classmate, although it was a Waldorf School so all they had access to were all-natural, non-toxic poisons that came with the seaweed they ate for lunch [Sad]

Wednesday 30 March 16:43:21 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you're here. You're always welcome. Unless you don't like. Writing at all. Welcome one and all. Fark Writer's Thread [CSB]

Wednesday 30 March 16:41:20 UTC 2016

CSB [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » President Eisenhower's great-granddaughter says vegan diets could attract extraterrestrial life…especially a vegan diet high in mushrooms [Weird]

Wednesday 30 March 16:32:27 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New Nanostructure Research Could Lead the Way to Self-Cleaning Textiles

Wednesday 30 March 16:30:00 UTC 2016

The nano-enhanced textiles can degrade organic matter when exposed to light. [Link]

FMyLife » MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain says FML

Wednesday 30 March 16:24:00 UTC 2016

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, subby can't improve on that headline [Giggity]

Wednesday 30 March 16:23:06 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hello 911? I've got an emergency – I got hamburger instead of bacon on my pizza [Dumbass]

Wednesday 30 March 16:05:26 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea's leader tells his people to prepare for devastating famine. Says his plan to fish the oceans with rockets did not work the way he expected it to [Fail]

Wednesday 30 March 16:04:48 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch a Birthday Cake of Matches Burst Into Flames

Wednesday 30 March 16:00:00 UTC 2016

It only takes 45 seconds. [Link]

Mental Floss » Bottom

Wednesday 30 March 15:48:20 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » And upon video review of 305 million years of evolution, Idmonarachne brasieri is not a spider. Repeat, not a spider (w/ pic of not-spider) [Followup]

Wednesday 30 March 15:39:09 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know…I don't know what it is…but I just feel like I have something inside of me that needs to come out (w/ mugshot) [Dumbass]

Wednesday 30 March 15:06:27 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you ask women to share cleavage selfies on social media, expect to get trolled hard [Amusing]

Wednesday 30 March 15:04:27 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Genius Engineer Behind the Super Soaker

Wednesday 30 March 15:00:00 UTC 2016

Lonnie Johnson has worked on stealth bombers, NASA spacecraft, and a whole lot of water guns. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Womb with a brew [Giggity]

Wednesday 30 March 14:53:25 UTC 2016

Giggity [link] [60 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: Most Effective Marketing Technique Still Giving Out Little Versions Of Product

Wednesday 30 March 14:51:00 UTC 2016

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Calling it far and away the best initiative businesses can undertake to boost sales and brand awareness, a report released this week by Harvard Business School has found the most effective marketing technique remains handing out little versions of products. “Based on our research, there is simply no better way to attract and retain customers than giving away a … [Link]

The Onion » Obama Announces Plan To Store Nation’s Extra Stuff In Large Plastic Crate

Wednesday 30 March 14:48:00 UTC 2016

WASHINGTON—Noting that the container would reduce clutter and help keep the country organized, President Obama announced a plan Tuesday to store the nation’s extra stuff in a large plastic crate. “I urge any American citizen who has too many things lying around their home to just give me the possessions they don’t need right now and I’ll keep them in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Karma bunny would like a word with the neighbors who stole Easter eggs meant for a boy with Down Syndrome [Asinine]

Wednesday 30 March 14:47:57 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [47 comments] [Link]

The Onion » How Virtual Reality Will Change Our Lives

Wednesday 30 March 14:44:00 UTC 2016

Here are some potential ways that Oculus Rift and other virtual reality technologies will affect our lives. Pornography: New 360-degree pornographic films will allow viewers to pan all around the bed and across the room to where cameramen and boom mic operators are standing
Education: Students will have access to wealth of new interactive visual aids that won’t be updated …
[Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 30 March 14:39:54 UTC 2016

Today, I realized I didn't want to come home from a business trip because I like my job more than my husband. I hate my job. FML [Link]

The Onion » Mom Thinks You’d Enjoy Restaurant She Can’t Remember Name Of Right Now

Wednesday 30 March 14:33:00 UTC 2016

ST. LOUIS—Noting that both she and your father thought everything about the place was just right up your alley, your mother confirmed Wednesday that she believes you’d really enjoy a new restaurant in town whose name she can’t quite remember at the moment. “I can’t for the life of me think of what it’s called, but I’m telling you, you’d … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find Today, March 30

Wednesday 30 March 14:32:36 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, March 30. [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Big Facts About 'Sanford and Son'

Wednesday 30 March 14:30:00 UTC 2016

You hear that, Elizabeth? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: Piper Raspberry Pi Computer Kit: Learn Real Engineering Skills (While Playing Minecraft) with This Full Raspberry Pi Toolbox. Creative Mode engaged. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Wednesday 30 March 14:28:36 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [9 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Nightsong says FML

Wednesday 30 March 14:24:43 UTC 2016

Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman dies, man injured in James River 'drowning machine'. Whose marketing department came up with that name? [Sad]

Wednesday 30 March 14:24:38 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [55 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Secret Service Bans Guns From RNC

Wednesday 30 March 14:24:00 UTC 2016

In advance of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland this July, the Secret Service has announced that only law enforcement personnel will be permitted to bring firearms to the event, overriding Ohio’s open carry laws. What do you think?
[Link]

Overheard In The Office » A Move Known As “The IT Sidestep”

Wednesday 30 March 14:12:55 UTC 2016

Temp: We found some old mice in the trashcan. I don’t really think they belong in there.
Tech guy: I think that’s a problem for facilities. Are they dead or alive? Maryville, Tennessee Overheard by: Cinderella [Link]

FMyLife » ProudASDmom says FML

Wednesday 30 March 14:09:59 UTC 2016

Today, my son's first impression of our new neighborhood was to be yelled at by the first kid he tried to introduce himself to, because my son was on the edge of their lawn. Half-an-hour later, I got a lecture at the corner store, because the clerk thinks vaccinations caused my son's autism. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » How Does Municipal Composting Work?

Wednesday 30 March 14:00:00 UTC 2016

How does that stinky garbage turn into an essential farming and gardening product? [Link]

Mental Floss » This Smart Bottle Keeps Wine Fresh and Lets You Order More

Wednesday 30 March 13:30:00 UTC 2016

Never feel guilty about not finishing a bottle of wine again. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Microsoft's racist AI chatbot returns to Twitter. What could possibly go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong [Facepalm]

Wednesday 30 March 13:27:52 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Donald, you're arguing like a 5-year-old" [Awkward]

Wednesday 30 March 13:24:07 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [214 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Internet porn has made Millennials bad at sex [Awkward]

Wednesday 30 March 13:06:08 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [183 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these protectors [Photoshop]

Wednesday 30 March 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Master the Art of Costco Shopping

Wednesday 30 March 13:00:00 UTC 2016

For one, avoid Thursdays. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naming your dog 'Dash' could cause your bank to melt down [Murica]

Wednesday 30 March 12:54:02 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [69 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » crap car says FML

Wednesday 30 March 12:43:26 UTC 2016

Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Smart Ways to Protect Yourself (and Your Stuff) Online

Wednesday 30 March 12:30:00 UTC 2016

There are many simple security measures we could (and should) be taking online, but too often skip. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for protesting at a government hearing into Arizona's voting problems is also charged with assault because the officer patting him down for weapons pricked his finger on an open safety pin hanging from his shorts [Stupid]

Wednesday 30 March 12:27:54 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » San Francisco State University dreads the repercussions after black student argues with white student over his hair style [Asinine]

Wednesday 30 March 12:24:03 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [292 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch These Effects Artists Make a Fake Wound From Scratch

Wednesday 30 March 12:22:28 UTC 2016

Making a realistic looking fake wound takes meticulous attention to detail, some serious sculpting skills, and of course, lots and lots of fake blood. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 12-year-old girl dyes her hair blue to help get into character as an eel in a school production of 'The Little Mermaid.' Since this is Fark, it's a pretty safe bet that school administrators had an issue with it [Florida]

Wednesday 30 March 12:02:14 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Go Off-Roading With a New Pair of Electric Rollerblades

Wednesday 30 March 12:00:00 UTC 2016

These inline skates can take you 12 miles on a single charge. [Link]

Mental Floss » Bottom

Wednesday 30 March 11:45:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

Weird Universe » More Art of the Insane

Wednesday 30 March 11:40:16 UTC 2016

Following up on Paul's post yesterday about the Electric Pencil. Here's some art created by patients in the criminally insane ward of St. Elizabeth Hospital in Washington D.C., mid-1930s.

A "working model of the fourth dimension," examined by Dr. John E. Lind.

A lion (top) and a man on a horse (bottom), created by a "shellshocked, cop-killing veteran" out of chewed toilet … [Link]

Weird Universe » World’s Oldest Female Bodybuilder

Wednesday 30 March 11:34:07 UTC 2016

[Link]

Mental Floss » Conceptual Milk Bottle Looks Like an Alien Abduction

Wednesday 30 March 11:30:00 UTC 2016

Probably what Agent Mulder would use in his coffee. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Brutal But Hilarious Old Disses of Adorable Animals

Wednesday 30 March 11:00:00 UTC 2016

Today, people tend to speak about the animal kingdom with a certain reverence. How times have changed! A century ago, most writers and academics didn’t think twice about taking cheap shots at our fellow creatures. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » City firefighters blame city's fire department for starting fire in fire station by ignoring fire code, want someone fired [Facepalm]

Wednesday 30 March 10:46:45 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [18 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » R_Horsefeet says FML

Wednesday 30 March 10:40:51 UTC 2016

Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Passive-aggressive solutions to first world problems [Stupid]

Wednesday 30 March 10:38:45 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [63 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Omydayz says FML

Wednesday 30 March 10:33:11 UTC 2016

Today, after telling a friend I was contemplating asking a girl to prom, my friend took my phone, told me to have some balls, and texted the girl asking her to prom. She said no, because I asked her over text instead of in person. She refuses to believe I didn't send the text. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Dog Poop DNA Testing May Be Coming to a City Near You

Wednesday 30 March 10:30:00 UTC 2016

Apartment complexes in cities around the United States and Britain are taking some pretty extreme measures when it comes to cracking down on unscooped dog poop. [Link]

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Wednesday 30 March 10:20:21 UTC 2016

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Luke’s Lightsaber

Wednesday 30 March 10:00:00 UTC 2016

Great links to start your day! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is our construction bothering you, neighbor? Suck it [Amusing]

Wednesday 30 March 9:41:45 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 5 Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Wednesday 30 March 9:00:00 UTC 2016

'Fowl Language,' 'Science Comics,' and more. [Link]

GraphJam » Putting the Forever In Forever Alone

Wednesday 30 March 8:44:52 UTC 2016

like never Pie Chart single taken Graph by: Unknown Tagged: like , never , Pie Chart , single , taken Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Amount of Time Spent on Google Earth

Wednesday 30 March 8:44:39 UTC 2016

google earth home house Maps research school - 2113009408 Graph by: schew07 Tagged: google earth , home , house , Maps , research , school Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FBI spills water on iPhone they just cracked [Satire]

Wednesday 30 March 8:35:15 UTC 2016

Satire [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists say new male contraceptive pill prevents pregnancy in rabbits. What the hell are these guys DOING in those labs? [Scary]

Wednesday 30 March 8:23:35 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch 100 Years of Diamond Engagement Rings in Under 3 Minutes

Wednesday 30 March 8:00:00 UTC 2016

From emerald-cut to Art Deco, the varieties are plentiful. [Link]

FMyLife » Zero_TAlent_ says FML

Wednesday 30 March 7:57:59 UTC 2016

Today, the drummer from my band stole the $200 deposit for our rental practice space and used it for a trip down to Maryland with his girlfriend. A few hours ago, my brother and I found him passed out in his cousin's house, very hungover. His first words to us were, "Can I borrow 20 bucks?" FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jesus: Free to good home. Must bring own truck [Strange]

Wednesday 30 March 7:22:34 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Secrets of the Witness Protection Program

Wednesday 30 March 7:14:48 UTC 2016

Here’s as much detail as you’re going to get without finding yourself in a considerable amount of trouble. [Link]

FMyLife » nerp says FML

Wednesday 30 March 7:14:12 UTC 2016

Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » WW II survivor sends his subterranean recollection of the bombs falling on his city of Naples to geologist, finds "hidden world" beneath the city [Interesting]

Wednesday 30 March 6:55:53 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Blind Date

Wednesday 30 March 6:53:41 UTC 2016

When I was 10 years old, a time machine appeared in my bedroom and my older self emerged and tried to kill me. He failed, of course, as his own existence must have shown him he would. But ever since I’ve wondered: This means that someday I myself must travel back to that bedroom and try to kill my younger … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Geeky Items to Make Bathtime More Fun

Wednesday 30 March 6:30:00 UTC 2016

Getting clean doesn’t have to be a chore. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Temba, his eyes swollen; Lhotse Face, black [Sad]

Wednesday 30 March 6:27:44 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [48 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Teens Arrested For Threatening Trump

Wednesday 30 March 5:30:00 UTC 2016

In unrelated incidents, two Georgia teenagers have been arrested in the past week for threatening Donald Trump on social media, behavior categorized as “terroristic threats and acts.” What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » LEGO Vending Machine Dispenses McDonald's French Fries

Wednesday 30 March 5:30:00 UTC 2016

Four quarters gets you a tiny container of fries and a ketchup packet. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can now designate who gets control of your social media accounts after you die, at least if you lived in Michigan when you stopped living [Interesting]

Wednesday 30 March 5:10:36 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Things to Look for in Your First Apartment

Wednesday 30 March 4:30:00 UTC 2016

Presented by Allstate. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you don't wash your sheets at least once a week, you must really enjoy sleeping in fungi, bacteria, soil, sweat, sputum, vaginal juice, feces, urine, and dead skin [PSA]

Wednesday 30 March 4:13:38 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [111 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 30 March 3:57:52 UTC 2016

Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yearbooks of 1916 are the World War I-era equivalent of Facebook posts [Interesting]

Wednesday 30 March 3:28:11 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man on Death Row dies … of natural causes after 35 years [Stupid]

Wednesday 30 March 3:27:26 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CEO who caused a gas leak that devastated a California community gets a nice, hefty $3 million bonus [Murica]

Wednesday 30 March 3:12:16 UTC 2016

Murica [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thirteen Detroit principals caught sayof in bribery scandal [Fail]

Wednesday 30 March 3:03:14 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Conservationists Hope to Reintroduce Lynx to the UK

Wednesday 30 March 3:00:00 UTC 2016

The wild cats haven’t roamed these forests for more than 1000 years. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rumble strips on historic route 66 play 'America The Beautiful' – If you go the speed limit which is why no one's ever heard it [Cool]

Wednesday 30 March 2:52:09 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Now You Can Watch Netflix With a Long-Distance Partner

Wednesday 30 March 2:30:00 UTC 2016

Bicoastal Netflix and Chill sessions have never been easier. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Google announces Fiber Phone, a home phone service based on Google Fiber. In related news, NASA is designing a horse-drawn Mars rover [Stupid]

Wednesday 30 March 2:21:37 UTC 2016

Stupid [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wanted: Kitten cuddlers [Florida]

Wednesday 30 March 2:01:20 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » An Inflatable Room Will Soon Be Attached to the International Space Station

Wednesday 30 March 2:00:00 UTC 2016

After it's installed, the module will expand to over twice its length. [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Find Facial Expression Used to Show Disagreement May Be Universal

Wednesday 30 March 2:00:00 UTC 2016

The face people make when they disagree may be universal, according to a recent study. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Delta employee arrested for having $282k in backpack. Employee argues he was just going to pay his baggage fees in cash [Dumbass]

Wednesday 30 March 1:37:39 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Mother Beetles Release Unattractive Pheromones to Turn Off Frisky Males

Wednesday 30 March 1:30:00 UTC 2016

Chemical signals let their partners know it's not happening. [Link]

Mental Floss » Tardigrade Genome Not as Weird as We Thought, Study Says

Wednesday 30 March 1:24:53 UTC 2016

A recent paper refutes last year’s finding of extensive DNA borrowing in tardigrades. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Six Flags planned solar farm fails to win praise from environmentalists. Difficulty: plan involves removing 15,000 trees [Strange]

Wednesday 30 March 1:07:20 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For Sale: 6 bedroom, 3.5 bath stately colonial designed with all the character and charm of the early 1900s. Includes creepy stalker called "The Watcher" who will ask you to "fill the house with the young blood I requested" (w/pics) [

Wednesday 30 March 0:52:53 UTC 2016

Creepy [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Damn, the queue for that toilet is a bit long. Wonder why there's no line for this one…whoa [Dumbass]

Wednesday 30 March 0:48:13 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » British Artist Transforms Vintage Books Into Jewelry

Wednesday 30 March 0:30:00 UTC 2016

Wear your favorite book on your finger. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seattle's 'Man in Tree' charged with malicious mischief and assault: "He's being held on $50,000 bail. If he makes bail he's ordered to have no contact with the tree" [Followup]

Wednesday 30 March 0:26:31 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Could the great Tampon Tax revolt of 2016 be the new Boston Tea Party? (looking around for a Bay to toss them into) [Awkward]

Wednesday 30 March 0:16:53 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FCC considers subsidizing internet connectivity for low income Americans. Didn't those moochers just get refrigerators? [Interesting]

Wednesday 30 March 0:14:54 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turning Central Park into a skyscraper wins top prize in Batshiat Crazy Ideas of 2016 competition [Unlikely]

Wednesday 30 March 0:12:53 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yellowstone bison attacks are on the rise because cell phones have sh*tty cameras [Obvious]

Wednesday 30 March 0:05:15 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this poseur [Photoshop]

Wednesday 30 March 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Every Inch of Ceres Is Now Mapped—and Yet Mysteries Remain

Wednesday 30 March 0:00:00 UTC 2016

“This is a body different than any we’ve examined thus far.” [Link]

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