John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Pics or it didn't…oh [Hero]

Tuesday 29 March 23:52:54 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jesus falls off cross during crucifixion reenactment in Guatemala. They should have used longer nails [Fail]

Tuesday 29 March 23:42:17 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New USGS Earthquake Forecast Maps Include Tremors Caused by Humans

Tuesday 29 March 23:30:00 UTC 2016

Earthquakes caused by human activity—mostly gas and oil operations—have become too common to ignore. [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Things You Might Not Know About Witness Protection

Tuesday 29 March 23:00:00 UTC 2016

The Federal Witness Protection Program—or Witness Security Program (WITSEC)—has provided safe harbor for over 18,000 federal witnesses and their families in exchange for damning testimony. Here’s as much detail about the program you’re going to get without finding yourself in a considerable amount of trouble. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen poses as state senator, tours Ohio high school. Principal given detention for gullibility [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 22:55:11 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Only Remaining Incan Rope Bridge Is Rebuilt Every Year

Tuesday 29 March 22:45:00 UTC 2016

The Q'eswachaka rope bridge, which hangs over the Apurimac River in Peru, is a piece of living history. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When the battlefield meets social media: Iraq soldiers are now letting people vote on Instagram if ISIS fighters they capture should be executed [Strange]

Tuesday 29 March 22:44:04 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New App Teaches Users How to Survive a Plane Crash

Tuesday 29 March 22:30:00 UTC 2016

The first-person simulator prepares users for in-flight fires and other nightmare scenarios. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "To Kill a Mockingbird" author Harper Lee called Atlantic City's Trump Taj Mahal "worst punishment God can devise" for sinners [Obvious]

Tuesday 29 March 22:26:59 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Ensure Your Black Clothes Stay Dark Wash After Wash

Tuesday 29 March 22:00:00 UTC 2016

Turn clothing items inside-out, hang them to dry, and a host of other handy tips. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 11 things Germany does better than anybody else. Trying to take over Europe surprisingly absent [Interesting]

Tuesday 29 March 21:54:19 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Researchers performing necropsies on sperm whales washed up on the beach discover their stomachs contain fishing nets, car parts, plastic buckets, wooden puppet, crickets [Sad]

Tuesday 29 March 21:45:05 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 10 Quirkiest Job Interview Questions of 2016

Tuesday 29 March 21:30:00 UTC 2016

Time to brush up on your knowledge of hot dog physics. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police are advocating body cams, but only to spy on defense attorneys who have to depose them in the court hallway…by law [Florida]

Tuesday 29 March 21:26:48 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Completely in touch with reality Florida governor asks Yale to move to his state after 315 years in Connecticut [Florida]

Tuesday 29 March 21:15:54 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UN commission decides the Falkland Islands lie in Argentinian Waters. New Order heard prepping a follow-up single to Blue Monday [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 21:12:48 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gun shop owner is being credited with foiling a possible mass shooting by turning away a customer. "Just the look in his eye… there was something about him. I don't know. You really can't explain it. He was going to do something" [H

Tuesday 29 March 21:05:20 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spitting and throwing drinks at the 7-11 clerk when she cards you will not get you booze, ladies [Facepalm]

Tuesday 29 March 21:05:11 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [27 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Ted Cruz Opens Up To Town Hall Audience About Early Days As Larva Feeding On Porcupine Carcass

Tuesday 29 March 21:05:00 UTC 2016

MILWAUKEE—Attempting to connect with voters in the run-up to Wisconsin’s crucial state primary next week, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz reportedly opened up to a town hall crowd Tuesday about his early days as a larva feeding on a rotting porcupine carcass. “Those days spent regurgitating my own bile in order to soften up the animal’s decomposing flesh taught me … [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 Ways to Add Home Security When You're a Renter

Tuesday 29 March 21:00:00 UTC 2016

Even if you don’t own your home, you still want to feel safe in it and make sure you’re protected. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Recipe to becoming an ISIS supporter: start with a little lonely Midwesterner, sprinkle in some anti-vaxxer conspiracy theories, and add 97 twitter accounts [Strange]

Tuesday 29 March 20:54:20 UTC 2016

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 29-year-old member of Canadian billionaire family who took full responsibility for killing three kids and their grandfather while driving drunk sentenced to jail until age 39 and taking taxis until age 51. Ergo, socialized medicine cures affluenza [F

Tuesday 29 March 20:38:20 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why'd you stop me, officer? Well, for starters, the woman riding on top of your car FOR THE PAST SIX MILES [Florida]

Tuesday 29 March 20:35:50 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago has itself a new police superintendent, handpicked by the greatest mayor in the city's history. This should put an end to any controversy about CPD whatsoever, right? [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 20:33:11 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Luckily for archaeologists ISIS isn't as good at destroying ruins as it is at making them [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 20:15:11 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Is maple syrup extraction causing earthquakes through reverse fracking?" Sounds plausible [Obvious]

Tuesday 29 March 20:09:43 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what else is going on in this alley [Photoshop]

Tuesday 29 March 20:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet the Car Lovers Who Build Pop Culture Replicas Out of Junk

Tuesday 29 March 20:00:00 UTC 2016

These builders made their own versions of the Batmobile, Mystery Machine, and other cool rides. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lamar Odom back in drinking-before-church shape [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 19:48:46 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [44 comments] [Link]

The Onion » New Religious Freedom Bill Gives Small Business Owners Right To Annul Any Gay Marriage

Tuesday 29 March 19:39:00 UTC 2016

JEFFERSON CITY, MO—Saying the legislation would restore and protect religious freedoms that had been endangered in recent years by government action, religious liberty activists celebrated the passage Tuesday of a new Missouri law that grants the state’s small business owners the right to annul any marriage between a same-sex couple. “The religious rights of Missouri’s entrepreneurs have been disregarded for … [Link]

Mental Floss » A Restaurant in Wales Offers Burger Discounts to Redheads

Tuesday 29 March 19:34:48 UTC 2016

Redheads get 20 percent off their meals because the owner thinks they deserve it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Editor of Chinese newspaper resigns upon learning he lives in China [Obvious]

Tuesday 29 March 19:31:17 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Facts About 'Portraits of the Duke and Duchess of Urbino'

Tuesday 29 March 19:30:00 UTC 2016

'Portraits of the Duke and Duchess of Urbino' is one of the most famous portraits from the Italian Renaissance. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man charged with selling pot from wife's daycare center. Cops became suspicious when the kids giggled all the time but never cried [Dumbass]

Tuesday 29 March 19:15:11 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Magnets: how do they work in my stomach? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 29 March 19:04:17 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out ISIL are pretentious trend-chasing farkwads in addition to international terrorists, with manuals like "How to Make Artisanal Bombs in the Name of Allah" [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 19:04:11 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the 'Twist My Arm' department: "It's a time to get out there and support the bars in New Orleans by sipping on daiquiris unlike you've ever had before" [Spiffy]

Tuesday 29 March 18:56:08 UTC 2016

Spiffy [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Plain Sailing

Tuesday 29 March 18:45:43 UTC 2016

In 2006, Florida amended its constitution to say that any future amendments must have the approval of 60 percent of the voters. The measure passed with 57 percent. Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]

Mental Floss » This New Video Game Was Inspired By the Sci-Fi Writings of Philip K. Dick

Tuesday 29 March 18:30:00 UTC 2016

'Californium' should feel familiar to any fan of the late author's work. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There was a time in history when ugly-ass unicorns co-existed with humans in their search for rainbows [Interesting]

Tuesday 29 March 18:20:40 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If someone on Craigslist offers to sell you a $60k Chevy Suburban for $30k cash in the McDonald's parking lot, it's probably stolen. But if you have $30k cash to spend on a car in the McDonald's parking lot, you probably stole that too [P

Tuesday 29 March 18:10:58 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You tossed my sneakers up onto a power line? Payback's going to be a b*tch, my friend [Weird]

Tuesday 29 March 18:10:49 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bees headbutt each other like drunken Scotsmen to warn of danger [Interesting]

Tuesday 29 March 18:03:45 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Town checking for ancient Indian burial grounds ahead of sewer construction. Because no one wants haunted sewers [Interesting]

Tuesday 29 March 17:43:02 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actress Patty Duke is dead at age 69. No word yet on the condition of her cousin, her identical cousin [Sad]

Tuesday 29 March 17:39:20 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [188 comments] [Link]

The Onion » How Political Polling Works

Tuesday 29 March 17:26:00 UTC 2016

The Onion provides a step-by-step guide to the U.S. political polling process. Step 1: Researchers begin by dialing every possible U.S. phone number combination, starting with (111) 111-1111
Step 2: Dinner interrupted
Step 3: Pollster asks to speak with the member of the household who best represents the nation as a whole
Step 4: Respondent selects poll difficulty level of …


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet the 9-year-old girl who is, by any metric, tougher than you [Cool]

Tuesday 29 March 17:22:51 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Clickbait is destroying journalism. Click here for more [Obvious]

Tuesday 29 March 17:17:57 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » *Click* quick dick pic nicks chick [Sick]

Tuesday 29 March 17:09:18 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Parents accused Britain's Channel 5 of "traumatizing children" by airing Watership Down on Easter. "We thought we were watching a fun kid's movie about rabbits. They started killing each other." Good thing they didn't stay

Tuesday 29 March 17:09:11 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Electric Pencil

Tuesday 29 March 16:57:57 UTC 2016

Sounds pretty much like prime fodder for WU-vies.

"Around the year 1910, a patient at State Lunatic Asylum No. 3 in Nevada, Missouri, who referred to himself as The Electric Pencil, executed 280 drawings in ink, pencil, crayon and colored pencil. These beautiful drawings of animals, people and buildings were executed on both sides of 140 ledger pages, each bearing … [Link]

Mental Floss » This Kids' Style Box Lets You Skip the Malls—and Help Others in Need

Tuesday 29 March 16:48:02 UTC 2016

For every Kidbox you purchase, [Link]

Mental Floss » Peek Inside the Latest 'Harry Potter' Coloring Book That Comes Out Today

Tuesday 29 March 16:48:01 UTC 2016

Quick! Grab your coloring wand. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Deep Facts You Might Not Know About Uno Pizzeria and Grill

Tuesday 29 March 16:48:00 UTC 2016

Love Chicago-style deep-dish pizza? You have Uno’s to thank for it. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: We're Still "Top"s!

Tuesday 29 March 16:47:44 UTC 2016

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study finds that people with severe ADHD [Obvious]

Tuesday 29 March 16:46:14 UTC 2016

Obvious [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Multiple appeals failed to free a man who spent 20 years in jail after being convicted of a murder despite having 13 alibi witnesses who could show he was a thousand miles away at the time. However, one "Dateline" special about the case did t

Tuesday 29 March 16:45:50 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's how restaurant menus are designed to get you to spend more and how to decode them [PSA]

Tuesday 29 March 16:39:58 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 1986 College Newspaper Confirms People Have Always Been Jerks Online

Tuesday 29 March 16:30:00 UTC 2016

"When a student replies in an electronic message more angrily than if he or she took the time to hand-write a response." [Link]

FMyLife » TipsyTj says FML

Tuesday 29 March 16:27:42 UTC 2016

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML [Link]

FMyLife » ScarredDaughter says FML

Tuesday 29 March 16:27:41 UTC 2016

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man changes his surname to 'Null' and claims he gets free holidays and car rentals all the time now [Unlikely]

Tuesday 29 March 16:23:45 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [95 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Secretary Of Treasury Announces Plan To Remove Gross Penny From Circulation

Tuesday 29 March 16:13:00 UTC 2016

WASHINGTON—Saying his department had been considering the measure for several years, U.S. Treasury Secretary Jack Lew announced official plans Tuesday to remove a gross, grime-covered penny from circulation. “The truth is that nobody uses this coin any longer, largely because you can barely even see Abraham Lincoln’s profile beneath some kind of caked-on black gunk,” said Lew, noting that the … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Best Amazon Deals We Could Find Today, March 29

Tuesday 29 March 16:07:06 UTC 2016

As a recurring feature, our team combs the Web and shares some amazing Amazon deals we’ve turned up. Here’s what caught our eye today, March 29. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Getting up too much during a flight? Don't bother flying with us anymore [Asinine]

Tuesday 29 March 16:05:12 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Find and Turn Off the Frequent Locations Setting on Your iPhone

Tuesday 29 March 16:00:00 UTC 2016

Unless you spend a lot of time exploring your phone’s settings menu, you may not realize your iPhone has been automatically making a list of every single place you’ve ever gone. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Happy tick season, everyone [Scary]

Tuesday 29 March 15:59:11 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UK emergency rooms were overwhelmed this weekend treating patients who ate too many Easter eggs [Amusing]

Tuesday 29 March 15:56:11 UTC 2016

Amusing [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There you are, peacefully showering with your sweetheart, when suddenly the cops bust in [Awkward]

Tuesday 29 March 15:54:12 UTC 2016

Awkward [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The International Space Station is getting a bouncy castle [Cool]

Tuesday 29 March 15:50:43 UTC 2016

Cool [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lion named Sylvester escapes from a reserve in South Africa again. Mentioned that he was going out to look for a small yellow bird with a speech impediment [Scary]

Tuesday 29 March 15:32:11 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Urban Birds Are Sharper Than Country Birds, Study Suggests

Tuesday 29 March 15:30:00 UTC 2016

City finches had higher intelligence and stronger immune systems than country birds. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And this is how you deliver 'freaky' fast sandwiches using a moving train [Dumbass]

Tuesday 29 March 15:22:11 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police chief accused of "sack whacking" [Dumbass]

Tuesday 29 March 15:21:12 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A few years ago, a Phoenix-based photographer teamed up with physicists at Princeton to explore the unusually uniform rings a drop of whisky leaves behind when it dries. Now those physicists have published their findings in Physical Review Lette

Tuesday 29 March 15:20:12 UTC 2016

Weird [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jesus slashed in the face in Spain – hasn't the dude been through enough? [Facepalm]

Tuesday 29 March 15:07:11 UTC 2016

Facepalm [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Monumental Facts About ‘North by Northwest’

Tuesday 29 March 15:00:00 UTC 2016

The Alfred Hitchcock classic has been thrilling audiences with its improbable but highly entertaining story for nearly 60 years. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's one way to get out of paying student loans: File suit and say you never deserved the money in the first place [Florida]

Tuesday 29 March 14:59:12 UTC 2016

Florida [link] [49 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 29, 2016

Tuesday 29 March 14:45:00 UTC 2016


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Egyptian airline update: "He's not a terrorist, he's an idiot" [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 14:35:54 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington nuclear plant unexpectedly shuts down, reports are the situation is not critical, no kaiju spotted within 500 miles [Interesting]

Tuesday 29 March 14:35:47 UTC 2016

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Man Worried Harassing Messages He Sending On Dating App Getting Lost Among Abuse From Other Guys

Tuesday 29 March 14:34:00 UTC 2016

NORRISTOWN, PA—Saying he wasn’t sure whether writing to them was even worth the effort at this point, local man Luke Browning expressed concern to reporters Tuesday that the offensive messages he’s been sending women through OkCupid are getting lost among all the harassment from other male users. “I can only imagine how many obscene comments and explicit threats the average … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Store Daily Deal: BaseRails Ruby on Rails web coding training. Base jumping not included. (Sponsored Link) [Plug]

Tuesday 29 March 14:33:26 UTC 2016

Plug [link] [2 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Alaska Volcano Erupts

Tuesday 29 March 14:30:00 UTC 2016

Alaska’s Pavlof volcano has erupted for the 40th time in recorded history, spewing ash 20,000 feet in the air, though its location is so remote that the eruption did little to damage any surrounding communities. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » What Is ‘gh’ Doing in So Many English Words?

Tuesday 29 March 14:30:00 UTC 2016

It's not for naught. [Link]

The Onion » Tribeca Pulls Anti-Vaccine Film

Tuesday 29 March 14:29:00 UTC 2016

One day after defending the screening of Andrew Wakefield’s controversial anti-vaccination film Vaxxed by saying it would promote conversation, Tribeca Film Festival cofounder Robert De Niro has announced that the film was being pulled from the festival. What do you think?
[Link]

Overheard In The Office » Good Thing He Hired That Guy to Express Emotions for Him

Tuesday 29 March 14:12:05 UTC 2016

Attorney #1: Where’s Stew*?
Attorney #2: Getting Botoxed.
Attorney #1: Oh, god, not again. 1202 Kettner Boulevard
San Diego, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Renters baffled as to why a little thing like not paying rent would cause their uncaring landlords to evict them [Dumbass]

Tuesday 29 March 14:05:52 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [233 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three in four Americans think there will be a terrorist attack in the US in the next year, but three in four Americans also believe that gravy is a beverage [Unlikely]

Tuesday 29 March 14:05:45 UTC 2016

Unlikely [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch a Two-Minute Video Tour of the Longest Train Ride in India

Tuesday 29 March 14:00:00 UTC 2016

It takes 85 hours to ride the Dibrugarh-Kanyakumari Vivek Express in its entirety. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Think your college dorm room was sloppy and dirty? Meet the undisputed champ [Scary]

Tuesday 29 March 13:42:10 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family members of a late WWII vet who documented atomic bomb tests in the desert are about ready to nuke the VA from orbit. "He was excited about getting his own chair, but unfortunately it didn't come until a couple months after he passed&#3

Tuesday 29 March 13:13:26 UTC 2016

Sad [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 40 Rip-Roaring R-Words To Refresh Your Vocabulary

Tuesday 29 March 13:02:03 UTC 2016

Allow us to be the raisonneur: Don't be ramgunshoch; read this. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these backseat buckle-uppers [Photoshop]

Tuesday 29 March 13:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Stunned by the Discovery of Sea Walnuts' Buttholes

Tuesday 29 March 13:00:00 UTC 2016

Scientists at a recent ctenophore conference were astonished to see video of comb jellies pooping through tiny anuses. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Marco Pol….. Oh shiat [Fail]

Tuesday 29 March 12:54:40 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ten Indonesian sailors held hostage by Filipino militants, principally Abu Sayyaf [Scary]

Tuesday 29 March 12:33:04 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Square Donuts

Tuesday 29 March 12:32:54 UTC 2016

The Square Donuts company of Terre Haute, Indiana has been making square donuts for 50 years, and they've trademarked the name. Eleven years ago, the Family Express convenience store also began making donuts that are square, and selling them as "square donuts." The Square Donuts company recently noticed what they were doing. Therefore, lawyers are now involved.

Square Donuts demands … [Link]

Mental Floss » This Ice Tray Freezes Water in Just 10 Minutes

Tuesday 29 March 12:30:00 UTC 2016

Your beverage woes are basically over. [Link]

Mental Floss » This Piet Mondrian 'Pong' Game Puts a Playful Spin On Abstract Art

Tuesday 29 March 12:00:00 UTC 2016

Artist and programmer Kristiana Hansen has created a web game that combines the abstract geometric artwork of Piet Mondrian with the classic video game Pong. [Link]

Mental Floss » Make Magnetic Slime With Four Simple Ingredients

Tuesday 29 March 11:30:00 UTC 2016

The project combines simple science with homemade goo, resulting some serious hands-on fun. [Link]

FMyLife » sigh says FML

Tuesday 29 March 11:29:42 UTC 2016

Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML [Link]

FMyLife » nothealthy says FML

Tuesday 29 March 11:29:41 UTC 2016

Today, my sister called after she found out I was hospitalized with surgery complications. Worried about me? Wondering if I'm okay? Nope. Just mad that I texted her an update rather than calling. I didn't call because I had surgery on my throat and can't speak. FML [Link]

FMyLife » angrypetowner says FML

Tuesday 29 March 11:29:40 UTC 2016

Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML [Link]

FMyLife » BriarFace says FML

Tuesday 29 March 11:29:39 UTC 2016

Today, I put up a sign asking motorcyclists to slow down near horses, as the noise can spook them. While I was riding near the sign, a biker slowed to read it, looked at me, then revved his engine loudly and raced off. My horse bucked me off into some brambles and bolted. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » The Coffin of Pero Bannister

Tuesday 29 March 11:16:43 UTC 2016

I find this anecdote in two sources. True, or apocryphal? You be the judge!

1880 text.

1937 text. [Link]

GraphJam » I Guess You Don't Have the Moves like Jagger

Tuesday 29 March 11:15:06 UTC 2016

best of week flow chart jagger maroon 5 moves like jagger - 5436801536 Submitted by: DanielMcBatman Tagged: best of week , flow chart , jagger , maroon 5 , moves like jagger Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » We're Still "Top"s!

Tuesday 29 March 11:15:00 UTC 2016

[Link]

GraphJam » Chances of an Athiest believing in God

Tuesday 29 March 11:14:54 UTC 2016

atheist god religion sports LoL by: DNewman Tagged: atheist , god , religion , sports Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Born in Yukon, +9001% Frost Resistance

Tuesday 29 March 11:14:35 UTC 2016

Graph by: vaderdude Tagged: elder scrolls , Maps , morrowind , oblivion , over 9000 , Skyrim Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Instagram Catalogs Tattoos of Even the Most Obscure 'Simpsons' References

Tuesday 29 March 11:00:00 UTC 2016

"Starland Vocal Band? They suck!" [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Awesome Outdoor Music Venues Around the World

Tuesday 29 March 10:30:00 UTC 2016

With Festival Season rapidly approaching, take a moment to appreciate the stunning array of elite music venues around the world. [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: ‘Star Trek’ and the Cold War

Tuesday 29 March 9:30:00 UTC 2016

Great links for a great morning! [Link]

FMyLife » momlife says FML

Tuesday 29 March 9:15:39 UTC 2016

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 29 March 8:53:25 UTC 2016

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Retrobituaries: Fanny Crosby, America’s Greatest Hymn Writer

Tuesday 29 March 8:43:46 UTC 2016

Fanny Crosby—poet, public speaker, activist—wrote so many hymns that publishers had to give her dozens of pseudonyms. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunken pillow fights with your girlfriend are all fun and games until you end up being held without bail [Dumbass]

Tuesday 29 March 7:53:00 UTC 2016

Dumbass [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of the Devil's Tritone

Tuesday 29 March 7:00:00 UTC 2016

Music is a powerful thing: It can raise our spirits, carry us through athletic challenges, and make us weep. Its very fabric is a source of power and intrigue, too, since just a measly few tones might do anything from shatter glass to manifest the Devil’s Tritone. [Link]

Futility Closet » Going Places

Tuesday 29 March 6:58:59 UTC 2016

Square wheels work fine if the road accommodates them — in this case, the road must be a series of catenaries suited to the size of the square. (A catenary is the shape that a cable assumes when suspended by its ends.) Macalester College mathematician Stan Wagon designed a square-wheeled tricycle in 2004, and physics students at Texas A&M built … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » EgyptAir plane hijacked by at least one armed assailant, diverted to Cyprus. EVERYBODY PANIC [News]

Tuesday 29 March 6:43:26 UTC 2016

News [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 Castles You Can Find in Phoenix

Tuesday 29 March 6:00:00 UTC 2016

How many castles can one city in the American desert have? At least four. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And this is why when it comes to a cancer diagnosis, you should ALWAYS seek a second opinion [Sick]

Tuesday 29 March 5:46:00 UTC 2016

Sick [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's skyscraper fire season in Dubai again [Scary]

Tuesday 29 March 4:16:00 UTC 2016

Scary [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Secret Slang Terms Your Doctor Might Be Using

Tuesday 29 March 4:00:00 UTC 2016

You probably know a handful of medical terms—but what about Code Brown? Or incarceritis? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I don't always make a wish. But when I do, kids get to have fun [Hero]

Tuesday 29 March 3:11:43 UTC 2016

Hero [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police search for suspects in shooting at the G-Spot. Authorities report that they are having trouble locating them. Update: after some intense probing, cops finger their culprits [Silly]

Tuesday 29 March 2:27:04 UTC 2016

Silly [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man shot by police at Capitol Visitors Center is ID'd as prophet of God. Awkward [Followup]

Tuesday 29 March 1:02:10 UTC 2016

Followup [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman selling fake meth sells to fake buyer [Fail]

Tuesday 29 March 0:35:47 UTC 2016

Fail [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New cellphone looks like a gun… my bad, new gun looks like a cellphone. Police advised to shoot anyone carrying anything [Asinine]

Tuesday 29 March 0:27:25 UTC 2016

Asinine [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your Official Vegetable Power Rankings. And no, cabbage obviously didn't make the list [PSA]

Tuesday 29 March 0:06:47 UTC 2016

PSA [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this empty fountain [Photoshop]

Tuesday 29 March 0:00:01 UTC 2016

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Distinguished Facts About the Scottish Terrier

Tuesday 29 March 0:00:00 UTC 2016

Learn more about the dog in the Monopoly box. [Link]

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