Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to try to scam a free drink at Golden Corral by impersonating a cop, you should know that the real cop in front of you in line can tell the difference between a genuine police badge and a Kentucky concealed carry badge [Dumbass]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » living in the ugly treehouse says FML
Today, while taking the bus home, a girl stared at me for a while before asking me if I'd ever heard of makeup. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A look deep inside America's never-ending attempt to ban sodomy. Deep, deep inside [Giggity]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up [Misc]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In case you didn't notice, a NATO country, Turkey, is now attacking Syrian forces where there is a substantial presence of Russians. This in no way could end badly and does not warrant posting any pictures from the Hunt for Red October [Scary]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Iconic Movie Sounds (And How They Were Made)
Hearing is believing. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pot and strippers. Two great things that go great together [Spiffy]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's what a six-alarm fire in below freezing weather looks like [Cool]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. I asked her if she wanted something to drink, and my brother reacted by snorting and calling me a "cuck". Apparently offering your girlfriend a drink means you're being cuckolded now. God, I hope he was adopted. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 6 ugly-ass cheetah cubs born at San Diego Zoo. With SOONx6 pic [Sappy]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I think I've conditioned my body to not function without technology, as I simply couldn't take a shit until I got up, fetched my phone and returned to the toilet to read stuff on here. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Driver passes time during long police chase by doing drugs, Snapchatting and Instagramming (w/ video) [Asinine]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lighthouse being attacked [Photoshop]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » On Its Anniversary, a Valentine For Voyager 1’s Pale Blue Dot
The image would never have happened if it weren't for Carl Sagan. [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (February 14, 2016)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M462, February 14, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Intelligent Design: Wired.com’s most recent “Absurd Creature” feature shows a toad devouring a larva of a much-smaller beetle, but the “absurdity” is that the larva is in charge and that the toad will soon be beetle food. The larva’s Darwinian advantage is … [Link]
FMyLife » Diet_Water says FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML [Link]
FMyLife » JavitheWrestler says FML
Today, I got a new phone. Only after berating the Sprint employee and Apple support desk because I could not call, text, or access the Internet did I find out that I didn't need to buy a new phone. It was just on airplane mode. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Geico? An elephant humped my car. No really [Strange]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Are Supreme Court Justices Chosen?
Since George Washington’s first appointment, 112 people have served on the highest court in the land. With the recent death of Antonin Scalia, that number will soon rise to 113. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ♬ ♬ And I would bike 1100 miles and I would bike 1100 more just to be the man who biked 2200 miles from India to Sweden to fall down at your door DA DA DA DA DA DA DUN DUN DIDDLE DIDDLE AY YAY ♬ ♬ [Sappy]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Business site declares The Onion to be worth $500 million, more than most news outlets it mocks. Nobody knows whether The Onion is being ironic anymore, not even the writers [Amusing]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Things You Didn't Know About Josephine Baker
The celebrated dancer had a pet cheetah named Chiquita. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "NBC reported in error members of ISIS were shaving bears to disguise themselves; they have actually been shaving their beards. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused" [Awkward]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Happens When You Reply to Email Scams
"Solomon, Your email intrigues me." [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Apparently, you aren't zoned for a swingers' club, ma'am" [Creepy]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » FootInMyMouth says FML
Today, a customer brought his cat in to be euthanized. I told him to "have a nice day" as he was leaving. FML [Link]
FMyLife » CRD1995 says FML
Today, I received my Valentine's gift from my fiancée in the mail. We broke up yesterday. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » How the Wind Chill Makes Cold Days Even Worse
Scientists used detailed human studies to figure out how a cold wind affects your body’s ability to retain heat. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Annual Central Park Ice Festival cancelled by New York City officials due to cold. Ironic tag pleased to be used appropriately for once [Ironic]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » These photos will make you wish you were a Mongolian cowboy [Cool]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 18 Facts About 'The Silence of the Lambs'
It was released on Valentine’s Day in 1991. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Everett police announce they have arrested 'Beardo' the bank robber. Ironically the beard was fake [Obvious]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The Wyld Home for Errant Women
When George Albert Wyld of Australia died on January 23, 1911, his will instructed that his estate should be left to his children, but when they had all died it should then be applied to:
"the maintenance of a maternity home to be known as the Wyld Home, and to be available to the extent of its means to young … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Valentine's Day in the 22nd century [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: The best laid romantic plans [CSB]
[link] [160 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just when you thought it was over, thousands of new occupiers are flooding the Malheur Refuge [Followup]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here is the big thing about growing up poor, and it sticks with you the rest of your life [Interesting]
[link] [150 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 16
What product is this illustration trying to sell?
The answer is here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some random dude claiming to be Kanye West's friend may have just swindled Pharma Bro out of $15 million [Amusing]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Look Up! The Valentine's Day Star Is High in the Sky Tonight
The red supergiant even "pulses" as its atmosphere expands and contracts. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Did you get something special from your lover? Who wants to date the man known as Subby? Are you going to buy all the chocolate at the store once that day passes? Here is your Valentine's Day thread for all you lovers out there [Live]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » me_jpg says FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor woke me with her sex moans, reminding me how single I'll be on Valentine's. FML [Link]
FMyLife » helloitsme says FML
Today, I found out the only reason I passed maths was because my mum hooked up with my teacher. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while driving on the motorway, I sneezed so hard my contacts popped out. FML [Link]
GraphJam » How Are Those Resolutions Going?
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , diets , holiday , new years resolutions Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Availability of salespeople, by situation
Graph by: Tipsy_the_Drunken_Fairy Tagged: ankle , availability , badger , Bar Graph , break , find , help , hovering , looking , lunch , narnia , questions , salespeople , size , stalking Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Colorblind Friendly?
LoL by: colburbe Tagged: color , friend , good , graphjam , graphs Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » The Person In Front Doesn't Have It So Bad
Graph by: Guydo Tagged: 2 girls 1 cup , movies , saw , the human centipede , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: zombiehunter509 Tagged: gaming , Line Graph , nerd , sexy times , WoW Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » I used to be a pedestrian like you, then I took a blowdart in the knee [Weird]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The FBI wants to remind all of you desperate singles that online scammers will find and exploit your loneliness this Valentine's Day [PSA]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How 'Seinfeld' and Gustave Flaubert Intersect in "Nothing"
"It's about…NOTHING!" Or is it? [Link]
Mental Floss » A Sculptor Reimagines Mythical Sea Monsters From Maps
From Bailey Henderson's “Monstrorum Marines." [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Scientists Are Teaching Drones to Find Lost Hikers
These new drones can pick out forest trails as skillfully as an expert hiker. [Link]
Futility Closet » Hare Mail
This drawing appeared in L’Illustration in May 1845 — it’s a “caniposte” railway that allegedly was used to carry express mail in Belgium. Two dogs are harnessed to a small wagon that runs on a narrow-gauge railway. They chase a stuffed hare, or, in “improved models,” a piece of raw meat. Was this ever really used? “Despite evidence of the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rabbit Hash General Store engulfed in flames. Mayor reportedly barking orders to four fire crews at the time [Sad]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKST/10PM PST) [Live]
[link] [204 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Creative Ways to Extinguish a Candle
Because just blowing it out is boring. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It's Way Over Your Editors' Heads
CSR #1: Everyone says that Jesus was on the bookshelf the whole time. But what if he wasn't on the bookshelf…
CSR #2: People will put Jesus wherever they want to put him.
CSR #1: Oh my god, that's so deep! Tulsa, Oklahoma [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Wendy’s Learned Not to Riff on “Got a Match?”
Coworker on phone: Fool me once, shame on… you. (pause) Fool me… the second one is where it’s my fault. Thurston Avenue
Greensboro, North Carolina Overheard by: Audrey [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It’s More Like Unearthing One That You Buried
Female coworker: I don’t know. I was thinking about losing about 50 pounds.
Male coworker: Yeah, I think I could lose about 30 to 40 myself.
Female coworker: You know what I heard? With men, if you lose, like, 35 pounds, you gain an inch.
Male coworker: Uh… 500 North King Street
Wilmington, Delaware Overheard by: i just wanted a coke [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Are You Going Somewhere With This, Bobby?
Child: Zombies have an erection.
Therapist: A what?
Child: They have an erection.
Therapist: Yes, they have a resurrection.
Child: God had an erection too.
Therapist: Yes, I suppose he had one too.
Child: God had one and now he has powers. Queens, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » For One Thing, There’ll Be Repercolations in the Foreign Markets
Boss: So what would be the wider business implamications of this? Canberra
Australia Overheard by: glad she wasn’t in that meeting [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Oh, Like You Did at the Office Holiday Party?
Female coworker #1: So I bought this Tupperware to help wildlife. It comes in different colors and designs. This one has dolphins, and one of the others has monkeys on it.
Female coworker #2, mockingly: You are so fucking queer.
Female coworker #1, shouting: I'll show you fucking queer! Iowa City, Iowa Overheard by: Shocked & Awed [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Check Classifieds
Boss: You shouldn’t keep your desk so clean.
Analyst: You want me to make a mess on my desk before I leave every night?
Boss: It’s a perception thing. 1 American Road
Cleveland, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Oh, Stop Pouting, You Big, Wet Baby
Staff member holding disheveled pile of papers: Now I have to go hand this in with the pages all crinkly ’cause someone threw a water balloon into my cubicle. Washington, DC Overheard by: culprit [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Fair Warning, People
Coworker: I don’t really feel guilt. But then again, I’m kind of a sociopath. Walpole, New Hampshire [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The biggest business on Valentine's Day? Catching cheaters [Interesting]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How do teenage boys get laid these days? Volume, volume, volume [Spiffy]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Time Singapore Turned Away Led Zeppelin Because of Their Long Hair
Singapore officials: "NO STAIRWAY." [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 12PM Conference Call
Co-worker #1: Do you know how to do a three-way?
Co-worker #2: Huh?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, [Mario] wants me to do a three-way with him and [Tod] to discuss the proposal.
Co-worker #2: You mean a three-way call, then.
Co-worker #1: Yeah.
Co-worker #2: Oh, well, no I don’t, but I’m sure [Sarah] can show you. W134 N8675 Executive Parkway … [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage
GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate. “Alpha Unit, get him back on message,” said Koch, speaking … [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Moderator Asks Candidates To Be Specific When Describing Hellscape Country Will Become If They Not Elected
GREENVILLE, SC—In an effort to help clarify the candidates’ positions for voters watching at home, CBS debate moderator John Dickerson asked the Republican presidential hopefuls Saturday to be specific when describing the hellscape the country would inevitably become if they were not elected. “Candidates, you will each have 60 seconds to describe the veil of nightmarish depravity and cataclysmic destruction … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Trump in the pocket of Big Popcorn [Amusing]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This just in: Supreme Court Justice Scalia is still dead. Thread 2 [Followup]
[link] [1290 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these angry vegetables [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Wine Corks Preserve Forests (and Birds)
Wine corks come from carefully managed forests…where endangered birds live. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're the agency responsible for a flying manhole cover death of course you will conduct an investigation. With predictable results [Asinine]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Missiles shipped to Cuba returned – This is not a repeat of 1962 [Awkward]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Blood Red Valentine’s
Tired of the same old roses, chocolates and dinner out for Valentine's Day? St. Albans Sanatorium offers something a little different. Forever and Always: Tales of Love Gone Wrong is a haunted house attraction about lovers for lovers. Sounds like fun, but I still want the chocolates too!
Update: The link and video above are from 2013 but they have … [Link]
The Onion » News in Photos: Justice Scalia Dead Following 30-Year Battle With Social Progress
[Link]
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