Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Study finds "driving while black" really is a crime [Florida]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You want to protest deforestation, so you C) put four live snakes in your mouth [Strange]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Fashionable, Comfy Flotation Device You'll Actually Want to Wear
Because life jackets can't work if you don't want to wear them. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML [Link]
FMyLife » 404: Sanity Not Found says FML
Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lost: One AR-15 rifle. If found, please contact the Orange County, California Sheriff's Office [Facepalm]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Things You Might Not Know About the Sundance Film Festival
Robert Redford’s famed film fête wasn’t founded by Robert Redford. [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Conspiracy Theories Mathematically Tested
Mathematicians at Oxford have devised an equation that measures the “lifespan” of a conspiracy theory before it would realistically become exposed to the public, finding that if a given theory is not substantiated within four years, the widely accepted version of events is all but certain to be true. What do you think?
[Link]
Mental Floss » Why Can Parrots Talk?
Parrots can learn how to say hundreds of words—and even know what some of them mean. [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch This Cable Get Forged Into a Knife
It turns out you can make a knife from just about any metal object. [Link]
Mental Floss » Hear the Pop Song "Pompeii" Sung in the Language of Pompeii
The song “Pompeii” by Bastille inspired a host of cover artists on YouTube who posted everything from a cappella covers to Mad Men style covers to cup song covers. The best cover, however (which I just discovered), was the Latin language translation cover. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » $15 million dollar yacht sinks off the coast of Ft. Lauderdale. Onlookers report hearing a rendition of "Nearer My God To Thee" on the world's tiniest violin [Florida]
[link] [189 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can have a civil discussion with your child's assistant principal, or you can simply knock them unconscious [Asinine]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Key Facts About Pennsylvania
There's more to the Keystone State than cheesesteaks and the Declaration of Independence. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » HezBenWaBallah Siege Thread 4: Bro, do you even stream edition (LGT Harney County Sheriff's press conference & comments by FBI Special Agent in Charge) [Followup]
[link] [1569 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this solar-powered streetlight admirer [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Awesome Backyard Sledding Luge
These kids have a homemade sledding luge run in their backyard. Suddenly I realize that my childhood was missing something. * The Doomsday Clock is designed to give an indication of how close the world is to irrevocable disaster. We are apparently really close. * The death of America’s hand-painted sign industry has been largely exaggerated. I, for one, love … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cool: Pub in the UK installs a free condom machine to promote safe sex. Fark: You have to be sober to get one [Facepalm]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cop sent UWIE to 16-year-old girl. But its okay because "she's probably seen penises on the internet anyway" [Asinine]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This potato photo is a real conversation starter. For example, "You paid how much for that?" and "Have you recently suffered brain trauma?" [Silly]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Rex, Rob Ryan Finally Get Bunk Beds They Always Wanted
BUFFALO, NY—Howling with excitement after seeing the brand-new furniture set in the corner of the bedroom they now share, Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan and his twin brother, recently hired Bills assistant head coach Rob Ryan, finally got the bunk beds they always wanted, sources confirmed Monday. “All right!” said Rob Ryan, who, shortly after scurrying up the wooden … [Link]
The Onion » Graphical Feature: Renting Vs. Owning A Home
[Link]
Mental Floss » You Will Soon Be Able to Use Your Phone to Withdraw Money from ATMs
Banking is about to get even easier. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » On Holocaust Day, Israel releases a hand-written plea for clemency written by Adolf Eichmann shortly before his execution, but it's kinda hard to read, stained as it is by the tears of laughter Israeli authorities shed while reading it the first
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 100 Classic Atari Games Are Being Released for PC
Dubbed Atari Vault, the bundle includes some of the company’s most beloved titles like Asteroids, Tempest, Warlords, and Centipede. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This just in: People who shop for "natural" foods don't understand food labels [Obvious]
[link] [131 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Easy Ways to Network for People Who Loathe Networking
You don't need to be the most outgoing person in the world to succeed at networking—we promise. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The founder of Bikram Yoga has been fined $6.5m for sexual harassment of a lawyer with other claims pending. That's left him in an awkward position [Obvious]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
aeolistic
adj. long-winded [Edmund] Falconer’s Oonagh, or, The Lovers of Lismona opened one evening in 1866 at half-past seven. By midnight most of the audience had left; by two o’clock in the morning only a few sleeping critics were still there. At three o’clock the stage crew brought the curtain down with the action still in progress and the play … [Link]
Mental Floss » A Man Spent More Than $1 Million on a Picture of a Potato
Taken by celebrity photographer Kevin Abosch, the humble spud portrait is reportedly one of the most expensive photos ever sold. [Link]
Mental Floss » There's Now an A.I. That Can Write Political Speeches
So easy, a robot can do it. [Link]
Mental Floss » Inside the Lost Subway Tunnels of Los Angeles
A new television show digs through L.A. archives for the forgotten aspects of the city's history. [Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Smart Facts About 'The Big Bang Theory'
Should you have additional questions, refer to The Roommate Agreement. [Link]
Mental Floss » Go Behind The Scenes at the San Diego Humane Society's Kitten Nursery
Get a firsthand look at what it's like to take care of kittens all day. [Link]
FMyLife » oliver says FML
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » A 'Lost' Beatrix Potter Story Will Be Published for the First Time
“The Tale of Kitty-in-Boots” had gone undiscovered for over a century. [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Study: 90% Of Workplace Injuries Caused By Bare-Knuckle Boxing
CHAMPAIGN, IL—Researchers from the University of Illinois released a new study of occupational hazards Wednesday revealing that 90 percent of workplace injuries in the United States are caused by bare-knuckle boxing. “According to our data, roughly nine of every 10 injuries that occur on the job stem from incidents in which two employees stand up from their desks, roll up … [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Things We Learned From Astronaut Scott Kelly’s AMA
The record-breaking astronaut revealed some out-of-this-world facts about life in space. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Javi the sweater-wearing cockatoo needs to talk to you about your keeping exotic birds captive [Interesting]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Astronomers Capture Highest-Resolution Space Image Yet
The image is compiled from data collected by an orbiting radio satellite and 15 Earth-bound radio telescopes. [Link]
FMyLife » NotYourToy says FML
Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: 5 Months Of College Research Outweighed By Weekend Visiting Friend At Penn State
HAGERSTOWN, MD—Noting that the large public university had suddenly emerged as the high school student’s top choice for the fall, sources confirmed Wednesday that a single weekend spent with a friend who attends Penn State completely superseded all of graduating senior Tyler Pince’s college research over the past five months.The 18-year-old, who has attended numerous sessions with a guidance counselor … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rivier University (NH) is offering "employment guarantee" for graduates: Get a job within nine months of graduation, or we'll pay your student loans for a year and let you take free classes. And if I'm unemployed after that? ¯\_(
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another week, another reminder that we're still x number of weeks from shiat getting real. I hope you solved for x. Also, progress updates to your writing is always helpful. THIS is your Fark Writers Thread "Why am I submitting so early?"
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Which Laundry Rules Do You Actually Need to Follow?
Which of the washing instructions on our clothes do we really need to pay attention to? And which laundry rules were just made to be broken? [Link]
Mental Floss » Love Cotton Candy? You Can Thank a Dentist
Dr. William James Morrison debuted his “Fairy Floss” to overwhelming success at the 1904 World’s Fair. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Buttplug Haram siege thread 3 [Followup]
[link] [1388 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cat stuck inside claw game toy vending machine. Best prize ever [Amusing]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Prodigious Facts About 'Amadeus'
A look back at the Oscar-winning biopic on Mozart's 260th birthday. [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Australia Weighing Independence From Britain
An Australian lobby group will revisit a 1999 initiative to remove the country from British rule and become the Republic of Australia, though it is unclear whether voters will ultimately vote in favor of independence. What do you think?
[Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: John "Log"ie Baird
[Link]
FMyLife » FullCircleProblem says FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Food poisoning expert recommends you avoid these six foods if you want to live, though he does enjoy some good clickbait now and then [PSA]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
The Onion » News in Photos: Report: Spider
[Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: NicoDerm Introduces New Nicotine Eye Patch
PHILADELPHIA—Praising the product as an effective and convenient means of helping individuals quit smoking, pharmaceutical manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline announced Wednesday the release of its new NicoDerm eye patch. “These discreet and easy-to-use eye patches allow users to curb their cigarette cravings by delivering a steady flow of therapeutic nicotine directly into the bloodstream through the optic nerve,” said company spokesperson Caitlin … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A blow-up doll can look amazingly lifelike. Especially when a boater calls the Coast Guard because one is struggling in the water [Fail]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do Books Have Blank Pages?
It's more than just tradition. [Link]
FMyLife » valene5687 says FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Make a Life-Sized Gummy Coke Bottle
The prank potential is unlimited. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Much like the country's infrastructure, the Great Wall of China is collapsing [Scary]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this family portrait, 1915 [Photoshop]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Special Is Your Birthday? (Mathematically Speaking, That Is)
Answer: Not that special. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The US will start withdrawing forces from Afghanistan as early as 2017. Wait, make that 2027. Oops, make that 2037. Oh who am I kidding, we'll be here forever [Interesting]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Moldy Fashion
May 1999: Belgian fashion designer Maison Martin Margiela had a fashion/art exhibition at the Brooklyn Anchorage gallery in New York City in which he displayed his latest creation — mold-covered clothes. Reported Time: "The clothes were dipped in agar and treated with mold, bacteria and yeast; they were then left to develop new colors and textures (the smell is a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Behold the kinkajou, native to South American rain forests and Florida attics [Florida]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Monthly Expenses You’re Probably Paying Too Much For
If you're paying $100 each month for your cell phone, you're paying too much. [Link]
Weird Universe » May and Very Very Late December Marriage
Original article here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The city \\\\\ ///////…___ into the sea [Scary]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Hyperrealistic Dolls You Won't Believe Are Made of Clay
Check out these progress photos to see how the artist brings his dolls to life. [Link]
Mental Floss » John "Log"ie Baird
[Link]
Mental Floss » Truck Plowing Over a Snowman Gives Much Needed Catharsis After the Blizzard
Watch as a snowplow wipes that smug smile off the snowman's face. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 7 police cars scrambled to intercept dangerous man armed with a deadly bicycle repair kit. "There was a misunderstanding," said police spokesperson [Fail]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » sicky says FML
Today, I learned that I have a sinus infection, ear infection and bronchitis so bad it was on the verge of pneumonia. My work won't let me call in sick. I work with kids. Lovely. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Lesser-Known Shakespeare Plays
Shakespeare’s cultural position is pretty secure. He doesn’t need to be rescued from obscurity. Yet certain plays tend to dominate bookshelves, stages, and classrooms, leaving many others largely unread and unperformed. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » FBI has given the remaining Branch Dildonians until 4 AM local time to vacate Malheur. Live updates in link [News]
[link] [1645 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Hawaii’s Ice Cave
Try these links to get a good start on your day. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who stole more than $2,000 worth of lobster from a lobster dealer and also served time for molesting another lobsterman's fishing gear in trouble with the law again. How shellfish of him [Strange]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Montana, the homeless feast on something called "roadkill salvaged food" [Interesting]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » singlelady says FML
Today, to avoid disappointing my excited great grandmother, I still attended a small family dinner to celebrate my engagement. My fiancé and I split last night, I haven't slept and had to tell her he was caught up at work. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Gladiatorial Facts About the Colosseum
The landmark was almost turned into a wool factory. [Link]
GraphJam » My Next Vehicle
Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: cadillac , gangsters , old men , pimps , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: ads , one million , Pie Chart , prizes , stupid people , visitor , YOU HAVE WON Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Classic: Brutal Graph of Metal
Graph by: JMJMad1 Tagged: bands , best of week , brutal , metal , Music Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Want to Take a Look at My Collection?
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , collection , nerdy , socially awkward , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » An All-Female British Crew Just Rowed Across the Pacific Ocean
They're the first team of women to achieve the feat. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML [Link]
FMyLife » ktm1313 says FML
Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Relatable Facts About Bonobos
We share about 98.7 percent of our DNA with bonobos, but how well do we really know them? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Indiana principal sacrifices life to save children from out-of-control school bus near Indianapolis [Hero]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Beatty Sequences
Here’s another interesting source of complementary sequences. Take any positive irrational number, say 
Mental Floss » Wanted: A Writer to Hang Out on Seattle's Fremont Bridge
Yep, it's a paying job. [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Rock Climbers Compete In a Real-Life Game of 'Super Mario Bros.'
At a recent rock climbing competition in Cologne, Germany, competitors were dropped into a real-life game of 'Super Mario Bros.' [Link]
Mental Floss » 4 “Smart” Credit Card Moves that are Actually Dumb
If you don't have a credit card, you can't have bad credit … right? Wrong. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another mass shooting, this time for real [NewsFlash]
[link] [195 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Architectural Sculptures Carved Out of Pencil Lead
This artist creates impossibly tiny sculptures out of standard-sized pencils. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man dies while using his stick shift too much while driving [Dumbass]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Rare White Giraffe Was Spotted in Tanzania's Tarangire National Park
Officials fear that the animal's unusual coat will make it a target for poachers. [Link]
Weird Universe » Tanuki
The adorable little guy above is not what you may think. He's a Tanuki, a raccoon dog. They are indigenous to Japan and while they are a bit different than other canines they are still in that family. They exist in the wild, but are also kept as pets like the one in the story at the link. I'd have … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Usually, when there's a van going around offering free, on-the-spot prostate exams, you end up calling the police. This one is actually legit and could save your life [Cool]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Taipei
Learn more about Taiwan's bustling capital city. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gunfight at the Flaming Dildo Corral. Ammon Bundy and eight others in custody [NewsFlash]
[link] [2393 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » LEGOLAND Is Looking to Hire Model Builders
Dream job! [Link]
Mental Floss » This Collapsible Tub Could Make Bath Time a Portable Experience
Perfect for the on-the-go soaker. [Link]
Mental Floss » Artist Dominic Wilcox Makes Children's Inventions a Reality
These kids could give Thomas Edison a run for his money. [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Emergency Items to Keep at Home
It never hurts to be prepared. [Link]
FMyLife » jimmy_morton says FML
Today, my dad told my girlfriend that she's the son he never had. FML [Link]
FMyLife » justsomesummer says FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Soakedandbroke says FML
Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these unusual golf carts [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Exhibit Features 50 Rare Ancient Bronze Sculptures
Only about 200 of these works survive in the world today. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I've saved a lot of lives, but I got no life savings. All I got is last post 850. Lgt lp 849 [Fail]
[link] [1503 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you fill out this Millennial Think-Piece bingo card correctly, you too can create your own Millennial Think-Piece, submittable to New York Times and other highbrow journals, that thoroughly discusses what the deal is with millennials [Amusing]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Who Are the World's Ten Biggest Employers?
Hint: Three are American, and two of them you definitely know. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Fart Spray That Trains Our Troops
The butt-scented spray called Liquid ASS began as a joke product but is now used to prepare military medics for the stench of the battlefield. [Link]
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