Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Futility Closet » The Thought That Counts
A Mississippi soldier’s incoherent letter to his fiancée, quoted in Bell Irvin Wiley’s The Life of Johnny Reb, 1943: I can bare the Storms of the wintery Blast for thy sake oh Miss S.J.H be thou ever Bless as Butiful as thou art and idol to my throbbing hart oh had I the mind of the poet So that I … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "This festival is about students celebrating their last year of school with their friends and we are here to make that as safe as possible without illicit drugs and with a visible police presence" [Unlikely]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Beauty Contest
NSFW! Autoblow Balls Beauty Contest, a beauty contest for balls, is being held with the option to enter online by sending in a picture of your best feature guys. You can also vote at the site, and its quite a sight to vote on! [Link]
FMyLife » same says FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Brunofk7 says FML
Today, I made a multiple choice exam so my friend could practice and get a good grade on his real exam. While I was helping him finish it, the teacher saw it, thought we were cheating and failed us both. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Thousands of Undelivered Letters Offer Rare Glimpse Into History
The trunk contains 2,600 pieces of mail from the turn of the 17th century, hundreds of which have never been opened. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chicago and the rest of Illinois brace for the impact of a judge's order to release confidential videotape of police shooting a teenager sixteen times, fearing it will impede an investigation and foment ill feelings among the public towards polic
[link] [260 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New health warning labels for: A) Cigarettes; B) Soda; C) Gas pumps [Interesting]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Laborer impaled by chunk of rebar has his life saved by a pastor wielding a power saw [Florida]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bird and its feeder [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A humble landscaper discovers he is the King of Ghana [Interesting]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS threatens tomorrow's WWE event in Atlanta. If they want victims who will not fight back, may I suggest someplace other than a professional wrestling event in the south? [Stupid]
[link] [235 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Charleston
South Carolina's largest city is long on history and steeped in Southern charm. There's also Bill Murray. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Jersey man is determined to prove a long-lost Picasso worth $13 million was found in his aunt's crawlspace. Art experts continue to give him the brush off [Unlikely]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The airline industry is relying on the crude drawing an 8 year old made of a device that would help locate missing airplanes [Creepy]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well, so much for that check mark on the bucket list. A real shame, too, as I hear Pyongyang is just magical at Christmas [Obvious]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Masseuse uses the old "I charge for the massage, but the happy ending was free" defense to charges of prostitution [Amusing]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study finds half the Amazon rainforest could be gone by 2050. That's the good news [Interesting]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Magical Facts About ‘The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe’
More than a half-century after its original publication, and somewhat against C. S. Lewis’ wishes, the Pevensie kids’ fantastical adventures in the land of Narnia came to life on the big screen. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Trainee cop accidentally leaves recorder running through three hour shift as his sage mentor provides quality advice and useful anecdotes [Asinine]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Winter Wonderland canceled due to snow [Ironic]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dining with your dog in Atlanta just got easier (with a helpful gif of what dining with your dog may look like) [Spiffy]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Look Inside the Placebo Effect
In a new video from “It’s Okay to Be Smart,” Joe Hanson explains the science of placebos—as much as we know, anyway. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Winter sled for sale: 170 years old, good condition, no rust, inscription "Rosebud." Asking $100,000 [Cool]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Green Glove Bandits caught red handed [Fail]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » nozVail says FML
Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML [Link]
FMyLife » brokeasscollegelife says FML
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Giant metal tube gets blown down the street by a huge wind gust, and it stops just shy of taking out a home because a 15 foot tree got in the way [Sappy]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chinese billionaire buys 33,000 hairy crabs and releases them all into the local river. What could go wrong? [Facepalm]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's a badass ginger cat at the Sainsbury's, and he won't leave [Silly]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 28 years ago, it was a normal Sunday night in Chicago. The news was just covering the sports when the screen went black. Then the weirdest hack in Chicago history happened. And everything about it is still a mystery [Interesting]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass animal photobomb thread [Amusing]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Amish man runs marathon in slacks and suspenders. Those who know him say even Ezekiel thinks his mind is gone [Amusing]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The reason you don't work out longer is because your gym doesn't project enough positive subliminal messages and your workout buddy is always talking about his girl problems [Obvious]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Swiss miss [Photoshop]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Atomic Armor for Children, 1951
Designed by Lee Pauwels of Los Angeles to protect his six-year-old son from harmful atomic rays given off by a nuclear explosion. He noted that the suit wouldn't protect his son from the concussion of the blast, "But authorities believe a person could survive the blast at much closer range if he were lying down and wearing the suit. Afterward … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Have you ever wanted to own a pelvic bone model? How about an antique train caboose? Maybe an eight-foot-high statue of a cow driving a car entitled "Moov-Over?" Then this online auction site may be for you [Amusing]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » UN Security Council unanimously authorizes use of force against Daesh, it's good to see everybody there agree on something for a change [Interesting]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pilot mistakes Christmas lights for laser. Clark Griswold unavailable for comment [Plug]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Carnivorous Buffaloes
Nothing much about California has really changed since this 1849 warning, has it?
Original article here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Arty is not a scaredy-cat as he loves to spend his Caturday sledding down a hill [Caturday]
[link] [647 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man steals Mercedes, loose change from car dealership. LOOSE CHANGE?? I hope they throw the book at him [Interesting]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The interim police chief of Ferguson, Missouri resigns early [Followup]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now the Satanists are offering to protect and shelter Muslims from bigots, racists, and Republicans [Hero]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Southern Californians Say “The” Before Freeway Numbers
The regional quirk is due to the area’s particularly long history of highways. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you get seriously drunk at a casino, pee your pants while insulting a Muslim convenience store clerk, and then shoot your Glock several times in the parking lot, don't act surprised when your university no longer wants you on campus [Florida]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brussels spouts highest level terror alert, warning of an "imminent threat" [Sad]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Undercover British police officers would start relationships with women, some of which were long term and resulted in children to gather intelligence or infiltrate advocacy groups. Not surprisingly some people have a problem with this [Scary]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After the robber fired his gun at the ice cream truck, you could see blood dripping out of the vehicle and …. what? Oh, it was just cherry syrup leaking out? Never mind [Amusing]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML [Link]
GraphJam » But It's Half Off!
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: achievement , buying , christmas , Pie Chart , steam Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Somebody Buy That Man a Razor
Graph by: Lolcat3500 Tagged: facial hair , infographic , mario , moustaches , nintendo Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Did I Stain Anything?
Graph by: Rjealy Tagged: embarrassing , falling , Pie Chart , public Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » How often it will rain according to Holiday
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: christmas , easter , fourth of july , halloween , holiday , independence day , picnic , rain Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Popular Thoughts about Global Climate Change
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: americans , climate change , conservatives , everyone , global warming , Line Graph , thoughts Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Slow down cat. Now this is a cat picture worth posting [Amusing]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New late-night cable channel ensures you won't stay up half-cocked for long [Murica]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Worst whisky in the world named World's Best Whisky [Strange]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Frank Zappa
Belushi threatens a member of the horn section with his samurai sword…in a fun way. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The rate of women incarcerated in prisons has steadily increased, and it's not all caged heat [Scary]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why Brits should embrace Thanksgiving, American finest tradition, posthaste [Murica]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That woman who plowed into the Oklahoma homecoming parade? Yeah, she was sober [Followup]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming soon to some beaches in Fark's favorite state: Wheelchairs specifically made for moving across sand [Florida]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dammit Millennials, you are more likely to support censorship of offensive speech than older Americans. You have learned f@%king nothing.. good day Sir [Interesting]
[link] [138 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Bizarre 1970 Vampire Panic of Highgate Cemetery
Take some teenagers, rumors about a vampire, and some headless corpses, and what do you get? Panic. [Link]
Futility Closet » Expression
Image: Wikimedia Commons Eight ways to pronounce the letter X, from wordplay maven Dmitri Borgmann: eks: x-ray
gz: exist
gzh: luxurious
kris: Xmas
ks: sex
ksh: anxious
z: xylophone
__: faux pas He adds three more: According to Webster’s Second Edition, xeres is an alternate name for sherry wine in which the X can be pronounced either as H or as … [Link]
Futility Closet » Surface Matters
In the 17th century, Italian mathematician Evangelista Torricelli experimented with a figure known as Gabriel’s Horn. Rotate the function y = 1/x about the x-axis for x ≥ 1. The resulting figure has finite volume but infinite surface area — it’s sometimes said that, while the horn could be filled up with π cubic units of paint, an infinite number … [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
Image: Wikimedia Commons calicrat
n. an ant The ant has made himself illustrious
Through constant industry industrious.
So what?
Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid? — Ogden Nash Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]
Futility Closet » Logic and Belief
A syllogism is a logical argument in which a conclusion is inferred from a set of premises: All men are mortal.
Socrates is a man.
Therefore, Socrates is mortal. The conclusion can be valid without actually stating a true fact; to be valid it just needs to follow logically from the premises. Which of these syllogisms are valid? No cigarettes … [Link]
Futility Closet » Tossing and Turning
Butler University mathematician Jerry Farrell has telekinesis. Here’s a demonstration. Toss a coin and enter the result (HEAD or TAIL) as 1 Across in the grid below. Then solve the rest of the puzzle: 
Across Down 1 Your coin shows a ______ 1 Half a laugh 5 Wagner's earth goddess 2 Station terminus? 6 Word with one or green 3 … [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“There are very few things which we know, which are not capable of being reduc’d to a Mathematical Reasoning; and when they cannot it’s a sign our knowledge of them is very small and confus’d; and when a Mathematical Reasoning can be had it’s as great a folly to make use of any other, as to grope for a thing … [Link]
Futility Closet » As You Wish
In 1951 G.V. Carey published a 15-page booklet called “Making an Index,” intended to guide new authors in preparing indexes for their books. When it was published, a friendly reviewer in the Times Literary Supplement suggested jokingly that the booklet might have benefited from an index of its own, in which Carey could have given “a full-dress demonstration of his … [Link]
Futility Closet » A New Pangram
British recreational mathematician Lee Sallows has produced many varieties of the self-enumerating pangram — sentences that inventory their own contents: This pangram contains four As, one B, two Cs, one D, thirty Es, six Fs, five Gs, seven Hs, eleven Is, one J, one K, two Ls, two Ms, eighteen Ns, fifteen Os, two Ps, one Q, five Rs, twenty-seven … [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 81: The Typhus Hoax
In 1939, as Germany was sending the people of Poland to labor and death camps, two doctors found a unique way to save their countrymen — by faking an epidemic. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll learn about their clever plan, which ultimately saved 8,000 people. We’ll also consider four schemes involving tiny plots of land … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A group of white students at the University of Illinois demonstrate why no white person with a bit of sense or any type of social awareness would go anywhere near or want to be associated with a "White Student Union" [Obvious]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Hallucii
A short animation by Goo-Shun Wang. Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]
Mental Floss » You Will Soon Be Able to Buy Cream-Filled Oreo Churros
Two delicious desserts combined in one self-contained snack. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Upset you can't see your child's birth? You can call the hospital and make a bomb threat [Dumbass]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Estr Ni Eacep [Sad]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Paying it forward after a good samaritan gives a barefoot mentally handicapped homeless person their own shoes means giving them a warm pair of socks to get home with [Hero]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Soon You'll Be Able to Turn Your Otherwise Useless iPhone Into a Game Boy
Finally, a Game Boy that makes calls. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That $500,000 in cash stashed in my luggage? I'm just holding it for a friend [Followup]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Los Angeles declares a shelter crisis as the homeless population increases. Which is what happens when you try to live in L.A. and make less than $150,000 a year [Fail]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Kurt Vonnegut's 'Cat's Cradle' Is Being Adapted For TV
TV producer Noah Hawley will write and executive produce a limited series based on Vonnegut’s novel for FX. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Liberia, Sept. 3: Ebola-Free. Liberia, today: Free Ebola [Followup]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML [Link]
FMyLife » cyb3rbyte says FML
Today, some idiot did burnouts in the school parking lot. I got blamed because my car looks the same. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself, and now I have 8 weeks of detention. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The Lectors Who Read to Cuba's Cigar Rollers
For 150 years, Cuban cigar makers have been kept informed by their lectors: readers who keep their minds occupied while their hands do the work. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old, Fuzzy: Ugly Christmas Sweaters. New, Horrific: Ugly Christmas Suits [Silly]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Last year, one pedestrian was killed in a total of 70 accidents. Poor guy [Amusing]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School bus driver Charles Smith has had 16 accidents, received 25 written warning slips, and served 30 days of unpaid suspension, and most recently caused a four-car pileup on the I-95 in 2013, costing taxpayers $75,000. And he's still employed [
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you've ever wanted to hunt and capture the elusive and ridiculously adorable red panda, here's your chance [Sappy]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Literary Magazine Publishes a Forgotten Faulkner Play
The famed author wrote the one-act comedy when he was in his early 20s. [Link]
FMyLife » notpregnantthankgod says FML
Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And you thought your workday commute was bad [Interesting]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mike Huckabee (R) calls "Eye of the Tiger" lawsuit "unbelievable." Speaking of, "Unbelievable" by EMF would be a GREAT campaign song for Mike Huckabee [Followup]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Your TV and Phone Are Talking to Each Other About You
Don't love the idea that your TV and smartphone might team up to share your personal info? The Center for Democracy & Technology (CDT) is right there with you. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Turkey seeks sanctuary at faith-baste church [Florida]
[link] [6 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Temporary tattoo parlor, because you know you're an annoying hipster, but you plan to grow out of it [Weird]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Elevated Facts About 'White Men Can't Jump'
Before Woody Harrelson could get away with wearing pajamas on 'The Hunger Games' red carpet, he first had to become a movie star. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this climbing SWAT guy [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Artist Carves Skeletons Into Fruit With Creepy Results
Nope. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Eye gazing" is the new trend that will slowly kill introverts everywhere [Creepy]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Every Harry Potter Audiobook Is Finally Available on Audible
Stephen Fry, Jim Dale, and Felix von Manteuffel provide the narration for the beloved books. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Baltimore Mayor: Refugees are welcome here. Refugees: Well, Syria wasn't *that* bad [Asinine]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Google Search to Start Including Info and Data From Apps
Soon, you'll also get to stream apps from the cloud. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Listen, if you're flying an AC-130 gunship and the giant space rabbit tells you to do a barrel roll, don't [Fail]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This is the first time the following has ever been said: Exciting raisin news, you guys [Interesting]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's something gross about the conduct at Walmart, and it's not this guy and his two dollars [Stupid]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A 1957 Time Capsule Found at MIT Won't Be Opened Until 2957
The clear vessel is filled with nostalgic relics from the university's past. [Link]
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