John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Get ahead in your history studies with 14,000 images of the French Revolution [Cool]

Sunday 8 November 23:27:02 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In the same neighborhood where residents complained about Car2Go cars parking on "their" public street, police are looking for four men who spent the evening tipping over such cars [Followup]

Sunday 8 November 23:17:07 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rule 34: Cyst removal edition [Giggity]

Sunday 8 November 22:05:56 UTC 2015

Giggity [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The First Smartwatch Was Released in 1977 and Cost $695

Sunday 8 November 22:00:00 UTC 2015

Before the Apple Watch, there was the HP-01. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian soldiers REALLY need to learn how to turn off the "geotagging" feature on their phones when they take their selfies from war zones they aren't technically supposed to be in [Fail]

Sunday 8 November 21:38:28 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Senator wants to put the lid on caffeinated peanut butter [Followup]

Sunday 8 November 21:05:27 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mad hattress [Photoshop]

Sunday 8 November 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre found dead, his body laying Stihl [Sad]

Sunday 8 November 20:59:55 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » *honk *honk* *honk* [Amusing]

Sunday 8 November 20:41:59 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Door-to-door home security system salesman goes to absurd lengths to prove why home security systems are necessary [Ironic]

Sunday 8 November 20:14:27 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Famous People Who Have Run Marathons

Sunday 8 November 20:00:00 UTC 2015

26.2 miles is a long way to go, especially when everyone knows your name. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The moon, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter line up this weekend. THIS MEANS SOMETHING [Giggity]

Sunday 8 November 19:49:56 UTC 2015

Giggity [link] [82 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » kunjac0945 says FML

Sunday 8 November 19:23:10 UTC 2015

Today, I finally found the courage to confront my dad, calmly telling him how his near-constant yelling makes him unapproachable. He yelled at me. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Bootywhy says FML

Sunday 8 November 19:23:09 UTC 2015

Today, I accidentally sent a picture of my ex-girlfriend's ass to my current girlfriend. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thinking of picking up a 2017 290mph, 1,451bhp Hennessey Venom GT? You'd better get in line, since they're only going to make four of them [Cool]

Sunday 8 November 19:05:51 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As it turns out, leaving disruptive kids in the classroom instead of suspending them does indeed lead to an "unruly environment". Captain Obvious turns down the substitute teacher assignment and heads back home [Obvious]

Sunday 8 November 18:40:39 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cue the bright lights. Lights. Cue heavenly tones. Tones. And…… "ahhhhhhhhhhhh" [Cool]

Sunday 8 November 18:37:46 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Reckoning

Sunday 8 November 18:22:06 UTC 2015

Two mathematicians were having dinner. One was complaining: ‘The average person is a mathematical idiot. People cannot do arithmetic correctly, cannot balance a checkbook, cannot calculate a tip, cannot do percents, …’ The other mathematician disagreed: ‘You’re exaggerating. People know all the math they need to know.’ Later in the dinner the complainer went to the men’s room. The other … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Jim Henson Hour: Secrets of the Muppets

Sunday 8 November 18:00:00 UTC 2015

Henson explains how the muppets ride bicycles. (!!) [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Fascinating Facts About 'Gone With the Wind'

Sunday 8 November 17:30:00 UTC 2015

Happy 115th birthday, Margaret Mitchell! [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 8 November 17:02:03 UTC 2015

Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Hipnog says FML

Sunday 8 November 17:02:02 UTC 2015

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study maps out which parts of the home are the most dangerous while drunk or drugged. Surprisingly, more people suffer injuries involving the ceiling than porches and balconies [PSA]

Sunday 8 November 16:46:54 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » According to a study by Cornell, soda and sweets aren't making Americans fat. In fact, underweight Americans consume more junk food than those who are obese. This. Changes. EVERYTHING [Interesting]

Sunday 8 November 16:33:43 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On November 16, 2008, Peter Griffin first uttered the phrase "Oh my God, who the hell cares?" Now we know what he was talking about [Facepalm]

Sunday 8 November 16:31:44 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Highest Grossing Movie Franchises of All Time

Sunday 8 November 16:00:00 UTC 2015

James Bond can’t compete with The Avengers. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Most people would think that being a student of Harvard is great and the crest is a source of pride, but for some it is a source of shame [Interesting]

Sunday 8 November 15:36:33 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thousands flee country ahead of government-endorsed crackdown on illegal weapons [Scary]

Sunday 8 November 15:33:07 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad: You're running a marathon and collapse 3 miles from the finish line. Awesome: Somebody picks up your number and carries it across the finish line 'completing' the race for you [Spiffy]

Sunday 8 November 14:32:27 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Ducking Out [CSB]

Sunday 8 November 14:00:00 UTC 2015

CSB [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Death Valley's Mysterious ‘Sailing Stones’ Explained

Sunday 8 November 14:00:00 UTC 2015

The rocks seem to move of their own accord, but only when nobody is looking. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man fought until death instead of claiming $766,000 due to him [Strange]

Sunday 8 November 13:38:17 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [61 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » apaterra says FML

Sunday 8 November 13:20:15 UTC 2015

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML [Link]

FMyLife » jellenwood says FML

Sunday 8 November 13:20:14 UTC 2015

Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sinkhole swallows new Meridian, MS IHOP restaurant's parking lot, along with 15 cars. Waffle House "fixers" seen fleeing the scene [Scary]

Sunday 8 November 13:05:50 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl hospitalized after being bitten by a "toothy sea creature" that may or may not have been a shark [Florida]

Sunday 8 November 12:35:10 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Wee tot sent to prison, 1906

Sunday 8 November 12:24:15 UTC 2015

Harsh justice in Switzerland.

Could this boy perhaps have been the youngest person ever convicted of a crime and sent to jail?

The Minneapolis Journal – Nov 18, 1906

Wee Tot Sent To Prison
Three-year-old Swiss is convicted as a thief.

Geneva, Nov. 17 — The Swiss public and press are aroused at the extraordinary action of a magistrate presiding at … [Link]

Weird Universe » Shana Palmer at Labbodies

Sunday 8 November 12:00:46 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » How to Bake a Millennium Falcon Cake

Sunday 8 November 12:00:00 UTC 2015

The force is strong—and delicious—with this cake. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just like your grandma used to say, save a penguin once and he'll visit you every day for life [Strange]

Sunday 8 November 11:45:16 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Guided Tour of Biosphere 2, the Giant Science Experiment

Sunday 8 November 10:00:00 UTC 2015

Can't make it to the Arizona desert? Craig Benzine has you covered. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Legally blind barber wins compensation for wrongful termination, claims he didn't see what that whole thing was all about [Misc]

Sunday 8 November 9:33:33 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [34 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Microwaveable Burritos

Sunday 8 November 9:04:43 UTC 2015

burrito explodes food frozen junk food microwave time warm - 3364944384 Graph by: ThatOneGuyWithNoLife Tagged: burrito , explodes , food , frozen , junk food , microwave , time , warm Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Tastiest Shapes

Sunday 8 November 9:04:42 UTC 2015

I love pizza. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: circle , noms , pizza , triangle , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Even on Vibrate

Sunday 8 November 9:04:38 UTC 2015

Bar Graph,loud,noise,phone,sms,text message I swear, my phone always manages to find my keys so the noise is even louder. Graph by: TheSuperFace Tagged: Bar Graph , loud , noise , phone , sms , text message Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Foot Instinctively Comes Off the Gas Pedal

Sunday 8 November 9:04:35 UTC 2015

cars,cop,driving,Pie Chart,police,speeding Graph by: Robotzombie13 Tagged: cars , cop , driving , Pie Chart , police , speeding Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » how trying to find a file online goes

Sunday 8 November 9:04:34 UTC 2015

Graph by: iwantzchezburger Tagged: broken , computer , file , find , flowchart , forum , google , internet , link , online , post , wait , yahoo answers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Am I Out of Repel?!

Sunday 8 November 9:04:22 UTC 2015

Pie Chart Pokémon video games wild Pokémemes: Gotta Catch 'Em LOL Graph by: GothicPretzel Tagged: Pie Chart , Pokémon , video games , wild Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » We Don't Know What You're Saying

Sunday 8 November 9:04:18 UTC 2015

Graph by: LizzyKuro Tagged: interviews , know-what-im-saying , Pie Chart , rappers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Potential partner attributes

Sunday 8 November 9:04:08 UTC 2015

attractive,attributes,friends,image,insane,mental,partner,potential,single,stable,ugly,Unavailable,venn diagram Graph by: NoTurkeyForYou Tagged: attractive , attributes , friends , image , insane , mental , partner , potential , single , stable , ugly , Unavailable , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » That's Hella Cool Bro

Sunday 8 November 9:04:02 UTC 2015

california,celeb,How People View Me,Pie Chart Graph by: Unknown Tagged: california , celeb , How People View Me , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Experience 'The New York Times' in Virtual Reality

Sunday 8 November 8:05:54 UTC 2015

Their first project, called ‘The Displaced,’ is a 10-minute introduction to the lives of three refugee children in Lebanon, South Sudan, and eastern Ukraine. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pictures from inside of Ben Carson's house: Come for the chiseled Bible verse on humility, stay for the portrait of Carson with Jesus [Creepy]

Sunday 8 November 7:21:19 UTC 2015

Creepy [link] [334 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Won't share your prescription pain medication? That's a beatin' [Scary]

Sunday 8 November 7:07:12 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 8 November 6:47:13 UTC 2015

Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 8 November 6:47:12 UTC 2015

Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » Piggyback

Sunday 8 November 6:19:03 UTC 2015

Image: Wikimedia Commons Between Grana and Casorzo, Italy, grows a cherry tree atop a mulberry tree. It’s not uncommon for a small tree to grow on a larger one, but it’s rare for them to reach such a large size. The cherry even flowers in the spring. The pair are known as the Bialbero de Casorzo, or “double tree of Casorzo.” … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This Thanksgiving there will be lots of topics to talk about at the dinner table. Let's not make the fact that our 35-year-old son is still living at home with us one of them [Obvious]

Sunday 8 November 6:04:08 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police in Hillsboro, Oregon are on the lookout for a female suspect with fair skin and dark hair who may have been accompanied by seven dwarfs [Weird]

Sunday 8 November 6:01:12 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in rainy Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKDT/10PM PT) [Live]

Sunday 8 November 5:57:42 UTC 2015

Live [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 24 Things You Should Know About Las Vegas (and the Nearby Strip)

Sunday 8 November 5:13:20 UTC 2015

1. Most of what you think of when you hear the term "Las Vegas" isn't in Vegas at all. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Navy "confirms" the mystery light seen over the Pacific Ocean that freaked out all the Californians was a "scheduled Trident II (D5) missile test flight." Sure it was [Followup]

Sunday 8 November 5:01:05 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Our host is doing stuff with his family so there won't be a Livingston Stapler Company Presents show tonight. Instead here is an archived show from February 11, 2012 [Cool]

Sunday 8 November 4:56:58 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [1 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Take a Dog Kayaking

Sunday 8 November 4:00:00 UTC 2015

Doggy paddling—literally. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mysterious bright light seen over LA – Richard Dreyfuss busy carving landscapes in mashed potatoes [Obvious]

Sunday 8 November 3:09:02 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mayor who put Ten Commandments outside City Hall arrested for shoplifting. If only God, possibly on a tablet, offered some sort of commandment about stealing [Facepalm]

Sunday 8 November 2:51:01 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Bill Murray on Fame and Being Obnoxious, 1988

Sunday 8 November 2:00:00 UTC 2015

"I realize it’s impossible to have any sympathy, I mean, true sympathy, for people that are famous." -Bill Murray [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Graphic cigarette warning labels from around the world. Come for Canada's zombie teeth, stay for New Zealand's limp impotence stick [Scary]

Sunday 8 November 1:36:01 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [78 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sigh says FML

Sunday 8 November 1:09:02 UTC 2015

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 8 November 1:09:01 UTC 2015

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this decaying process [Photoshop]

Sunday 8 November 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nothing comes between me and my Big Mac, not even a flood [Silly]

Sunday 8 November 0:14:00 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This just in: Boomers don't like being charged with wrecking the economy [Obvious]

Sunday 8 November 0:12:01 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [245 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 16 Straightforward Facts About 'Sideways'

Sunday 8 November 0:00:00 UTC 2015

The Oscar-winning ode to vino did nothing to help Merlot sales. [Link]

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