Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
The Onion » Article: Eli Manning Drops Off Dirty Game-Day Uniforms At Parents’ House
NEW ORLEANS—Retrieving a duffel bag full of his stained, fetid clothing from his trunk, New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning dropped off all of his dirty game-day uniforms at his parents’ house Monday to be cleaned for the following week. “I usually stop at home once a week with all my dirty clothes from football, and then my mom washes … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hipster: "It's the same with beards – each and every day you hear someone say you are a terrorist" [Facepalm]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a woman at work told me that her kid had puked into "a storage bin" in the office. It wasn't a storage bin, it was the outgoing mail tray on the side of my desk containing important contract documents that had to be posted by 5pm that day. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 16 Fascinating Facts About 'Training Day'
Denzel Washington played against type, and won an Oscar for his efforts. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention, K-Mart shoppers: A collection of muzak the stores played from 1989-1993 has been uploaded to the Internet. Please help yourself to an ICEE and gouge your eardrums to this blue-light special. Thank you for choosing K-Mart [Strange]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And this week's Listeria bacteria outbreak is brought to you by *draws piece of paper out of hat* … Whole Foods [Scary]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Los Angeles Restaurant Serves 'Star Wars' Chocolate
Eat them we will. [Link]
Mental Floss » He's So Hot Right Now: New York Has a Will Ferrell-Themed Bar
I'm Ron Burgundy? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who was shot 4 times in his legs is not willing to stick his neck out, too [Obvious]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alaska needs to drill more oil in order to pay for the damage caused by burning too much oil [Dumbass]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Blood Runs Down House Of Representatives Walls As Chamber Itself Selects New Speaker
WASHINGTON—As the hall’s lights flickered and the floor trembled for minutes on end, sources confirmed that great torrents of blood ran down the walls of the House of Representatives Monday as the chamber itself selected a new speaker. According to reports, the blood flooded the chamber’s upper gallery and then spilled over onto the speaker’s rostrum, at which point the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Welcome to the world of senior speed dating, where the ice-breakers include "How fast do you drive your Buick?" and "What was your favorite episode of Murder She Wrote?" [Giggity]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Awesome Cosplays from New York Comic Con 2015
Geeks are a passionate lot, and there's no better way to wear that louder or prouder than on one's sleeve—literally. [Link]
Mental Floss » Rainy Weather Could Spell Doom for This Year's Pumpkin Pie
Let the pumpkin hoarding begin. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lone woman protesting against Islam ends up inside Mosque for coffee, bagels & hugs [Sappy]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 15 patriots arrested on terrorism charges for flying the flag. Confederate flag, that is. From their pickups. While driving through a black neighborhood. And stopping outside a 10 year old's birthday party to yell racial slurs. WHAR FREEDOM, WHAR
[link] [373 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this blue coating [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Presidential Facts About William Henry Harrison
Learn more about our ninth president, William Henry Harrison. [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: How Democrats Are Preparing For Their First Debate
The first Democratic presidential debate will be held Tuesday, and the candidates are expected to battle it out over issues as wide-ranging as gun control, climate change, and wealth inequality in America. Here’s how the candidates are preparing for the debate:Bernie Sanders repeatedly reminded not to point scolding finger directly into camera
Hillary Clinton and Super PAC director meeting on back-to-back … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The ABCs of Dogs
Some necessary décor for dog lovers, the real-life tales behind your favorite scary stories, and more in today's missing links. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Men race in high heels to support the fight against domestic violence, noting that while it's hard to run in heels, it's for a good cause and damn, does it make their butts look good [Interesting]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: California Bans ‘Redskins’ But Keeps Confederate Names
California governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill banning use of the name “Redskins” for all sports teams throughout the state but has decided to veto a proposed ban on naming public buildings after Confederate heroes, a choice that Brown said should be left to local decision-makers. What do you think?
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "China quality watchdog 'highly concerned' about VW emissions issue." Oh, wait. You're serious? Let me laugh even harder [Ironic]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'Good afternoon. Is that the police? Oh great. Well the thing is, I'm in a bit of a pickle. You see I was just robbing this house, and, well, it's the darndest thing, but I've gone and locked myself in…' [Fail]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I would like a salad with no lettuce." "And I would like a quesadilla, but I'd like it without cheese" [CSB]
[link] [218 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » $10K worth of tools stolen from tool library, as thieves abscond with saws, pressure washers, air compressors and a salmon cooker. Yes, this is Seattle, that counts as a tool [Strange]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Climate change may destroy the internet, as scientists struggle to find some way to put the threat into terms the average person might understand. YOUR FREE PORN WILL GO AWAY [Scary]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Recent Study Shows How Perceptions of Aging Vary By Culture
In a study of three cultures, researchers found perceptions of memory amongst the elderly vary significantly. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dog refuses to pull over, leads police on high-speed chase. Claimed he was looking for a drive-through that served steak [Florida]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Homo Naledi's Bones Were Made For Walking … and Climbing
The small-brained creature's feet and hands show an intriguing mix of modern and primitive. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Tornados, however, are right out [Scary]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Twenty years ago, Lisa Simpson changed the image of vegetarians on television. By being an insufferable, self-righteous know-it-all [Facepalm]
[link] [161 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Spunky Facts About the Maltese
Learn more about one of the world's oldest lap dogs. [Link]
Mental Floss » Scientists Successfully Create Brain-to-Brain Link
Through a brain-to-brain interface, subjects guessed accurately 72 percent of the time. [Link]
Mental Floss » How Globes Showed the Earth Was Round (Way Before 1492)
Sorry, Columbus fanatics. The Spaniard didn't debunk the flat earth theory any more than he "discovered" the Americas. [Link]
Futility Closet » So to Speak
What do these words have in common? DEVIOUS
EFFENDI
ENEMY
ENVIOUS
ESCAPEE
ODIOUS
OPIUM
TEDIOUS
ANEMONE
ARCADIAN
EXCELLENCY
OBEDIENCY
EXPEDIENCY Click for solution … Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There can be no sitting on the fence about a man who throws a baby over one [Strange]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Step #1 for avoiding cops when you're driving drunk: try not to ram into them [Florida]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Sportsgraphic: NFL Week Five Winners And Losers
Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the fifth week of the 2015 NFL season: Winners Cleveland Browns: A tight 33-30 overtime win over the Ravens must have proven something to someone, presumably
Soldier Field Turf: Showed a ton of heart when singlehandedly stopping All-Star running back Jamaal Charles
Detroit Lions Fans: Got a lot of stuff done around … [Link]
Mental Floss » The World's Lightest Metal is 100 Times Lighter Than Styrofoam
A material 100 times lighter than Styrofoam. [Link]
Mental Floss » Using a Hoverboard in Public is Illegal, British Police Say
Keep your self-balancing scooter to yourself if you want to avoid a ticket. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » London Police have stopped guarding the Ecuadorian embassy containing Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. Swedish police hope to extradite him once they have crossed the O's and dotted the U's [Obvious]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Hot As Health
[Link]
FMyLife » why says FML
Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » What Kind of Emailer Are You? New Study Compiles Stats on Emailing Habits
A recent study finds that most people respond to emails within a day. [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: College Administrators Hold Candlelight Vigil To Honor Donor Lost In Mishandled Rape Case
NEWPORT, VA—Struggling to maintain their composure as they gathered on the main quad, dozens of administrators from Coleman College held a candlelight vigil Monday to honor Robert Carlson, a highly respected donor who was lost in a mishandled campus rape case earlier this month. “Robert had such a tremendous impact on this community; it’s so awful to have lost him … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police continue in their role of keeping the populace safe from step dancing [Stupid]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Historical Titans With Surprising Tattoos
Regretting that Taz-too on your ankle? Don’t! You’re walking in the footsteps of greatness. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People looking to buy a home in London can now figure out the best place to live by using the coffee-and-chicken method [Strange]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Woman Stalked Across 8 Websites By Obsessed Shoe Advertisement
LAWRENCEVILLE, GA—Expressing her growing unease at repeatedly spotting the same picture and text lurking in the corners of her favorite webpages, local woman Laura Spelman confirmed Monday that she has been stalked across eight different sites by an obsessed Nine West shoe advertisement. “When I first saw the ad for the black ballet flats in my Facebook news feed, it … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things don't seem the same, actin' funny but I don't know why, 'scuse me while I sue this guy [Interesting]
[link] [2 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's 11:17 a.m. on a Monday…SO SHUT THE HELL UP [Interesting]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 8888888 miles per hour… you're gonna see some serious shiat [Obvious]
[link] [888 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Things Banned in Other Countries, but Legal in the U.S.
1. Baby walkers Babies in Canada have to learn to walk the old-fashioned way. The country banned once-popular baby walkers in 2004, after they were found to endanger babies and delay motor and mental development. Possession or selling of a baby walker can result in fines of up to $100,000 or six months in jail. 2. Ketchup in school cafeterias … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The dread candidate Clinton, CC goes to AA, and no kidney bank in England: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/4 – 10/10 [FarkBlog]
[link] [0 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Some Guy says FML
Today, I was babysitting a 2 year old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me and started crying and stabbed me right in my foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do you do if you're transporting $6,000 worth of stolen goods and the cops try to pull you over? U-Haul ass away from them [Florida]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One third of vegetarians eat meat when they're drunk [Obvious]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 'Glacier Mice' Are Scampering Balls of Moss
Each glacier mouse is home to a tiny, secret world. [Link]
FMyLife » althornton2462 says FML
Today, I messaged the guy I've been seeing for 4 months, referring to him as my boyfriend. His response? "I didn't realize you had a boyfriend." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For awhile it looked like millennials just didn't care about driving the same way as previous generations. But that all changed once gas went below $3 a gallon [Followup]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 12, 2015
[Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Harry Potter Fans Advised To Stay Off Railroad Tracks
The British Transport Police are warning tourists and sightseers to stay off the active railroad tracks that run atop the scenic Glenfinnan viaduct, featured in Harry Potter as the route taken by the Hogwarts Express, after many visitors have put themselves in danger attempting to photograph them. What do you think?
[Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Things You Might Not Know About 'CHiPs'
Erik Estrada once broke eight ribs, his wrist, his collarbone, and his sterum shooting an episode. The man was dedicated. [Link]
Weird Universe » Laura the Nazi-Saluting Parrot
From about.com:
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Headline: "Bizarre creature washed up in aftermath of Japanese tsunami goes viral after survivor releases footage." Reality: It's just a rock [Obvious]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these bucketeers [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Caffeinated Peanut Butter
And now, yet another caffeine delivery system. Because what our over-caffeinated world clearly needs is more caffeine. So you can get your caffeine fix via an inhaler, a body spray, as you lather up in the shower, and now in your peanut butter.
I think I'll stick with my morning cup of coffee.
[Link]
Mental Floss » Immerse Yourself in the Sounds of the National Parks
The ambient sounds of the National Parks of the Southwest is about to be your new favorite album. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Revolutionizing safety for an uncertain future, Vault-Tec is now a real thing [Cool]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Army issues new breastfeeding policy, which was confusing to those who thought that "field stripping a pair of 44s" was about cleaning a sidearm [Interesting]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » No-Arms Golfer
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » State of California considering allowing violent inmates to fight fires [Scary]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Paramount Releases Over 100 Free Movies on YouTube
Cinephiles rejoice! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A band of 11 Japanese governors and mayors have assembled to create the Japan Ninja Council (JNC) with the sole aim of reminding everyone how cool ninjas are. Like we need reminding [Amusing]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » shavednipples says FML
Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbor's attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Corals' Competitors Can Be Accomplices Against Starfish
Coral reefs are in trouble. On these Pacific reefs, one of the major causes of coral loss is predation by the crown-of-thorns sea star. [Link]
Mental Floss » Purple Rain
[Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 77: The Sourdough Expedition
In 1910, four Alaskan gold miners set out to climb Mount McKinley, the highest peak in North America, to win a two-cent bar bet. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll tell the surprising story of the Sourdough Expedition, a mountaineering effort that one modern climber calls “superhuman by today’s standards.” We’ll also hear about a ghoulish … [Link]
Mental Floss » Brazilian Campaign Yarn Bombs Traffic Signs to Remind People to Donate Clothes
It's getting cold out and everyone needs some extra layers—even the people on the traffic signs. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mt. Denali was just the beginning [Interesting]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Fancier Words for the Shapes in Your World
Square, circle, triangle—how boring! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Shooting fish in a barrel. New and hot: Ticketing cars with expired decals which are in awaiting annual inspection. Fark: Felony assault charge for grabbing ticket and throwing it back at police officer [Asinine]
[link] [185 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A professional bartender reviews Taco Bell's new alcoholic drinks "This overly sweet and somewhat chemical tasting concoction actually paired really well with the food" [Spiffy]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Revisiting Billy the Kid
The most interesting links you'll find anywhere! [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Unbelievable Airplane Seat Patents
The future might mean flying bunk beds. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Courts could make it illegal to question climate change [Scary]
[link] [144 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I tried to find supporting publications to use for in my thesis. They cost hundreds of pounds to download, and I can't even read an abstract without paying. I guess I'll be adding to my already crippling student debt, since I can't finish my thesis without them. FML [Link]
FMyLife » MeaganElizabethM says FML
Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML [Link]
GraphJam » Actual Drugs Don't Count
Graph by: jimmyg100 Tagged: health , hipocrite , organic , smoking , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Things That Solve Problems vs. Success Rate of Said Things
LoL by: JayThwack Tagged: arguement , problem , situational , success Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Zombie Phrenology
Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: best of week , brain , zombie Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » The T-Rex Will Know
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: coffee , dinosaurs , flow chart , work Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Usability by Operating System
LoL by: chucknaked Tagged: linux , mac , operating system , technology , windows Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: jo8nie Tagged: cleverness-where , creativity , default , Pie Chart , tags , value Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » Early Birds Once Relied on Knocker-Uppers to Wake Them Up
Their job was exactly what it sounds like: They were paid to knock on windows. [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Antique Maps That Were the First of Their Kind
Columbus’ first map of Hispaniola was a little sparse on details. [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch This Terrifying Headless Cat Robot Jump Up and Down
Just some disembodied robot cat legs, no big. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Eighth grader suspended for wearing a pro-military shirt to school [Asinine]
[link] [450 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Pressing Questions About Columbus Day
How a 15th century voyager got his own federal holiday. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » California becomes first state to ban 'Redskins' nickname [Interesting]
[link] [230 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Damselfish Can Recognize Each Other’s Faces Using UV Vision
Ambon damselfish were able to identify the correct fish face with 75 percent accuracy. [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (October 11, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M444, October 11, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
The bold, shameless leering of David Zaitzeff is legendary around Seattle’s parks and moreso since he filed a civil complaint against the city in September challenging its anti-voyeurism law for placing a “chilling effect” on his photography of immodestly-dressed women in public. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hulu plans virtual reality device next month, allowing you to experience intrusive ads like never before [Interesting]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Steven Prescott conkers the world [Spiffy]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In the most California problem ever, drivers now fighting over electric vehicle charging stations [Plug]
[link] [157 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Early Test Footage for 'The Muppet Movie'
"Fozzie, see, the thing of it is—you're not a real bear. You're not a real, natural bear." -Kermit [Link]
FMyLife » Hank-T4 says FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » MH370 wreckage claimed to have been found in the Philippines [Unlikely]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Ron Mueck sculpture exhibit [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
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