John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Mom wins social media campaign against beach bar over serving plastic straws with drinks. Next up: Serving little umbrellas with drinks [Florida]

Sunday 4 October 22:49:36 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plastic bags are good for you. No, really. We mean it. Stop with all the bag hate, people [Interesting]

Sunday 4 October 22:32:40 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [186 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Found Facts About 'Lost in Translation'

Sunday 4 October 22:30:00 UTC 2015

More than a decade after Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson charmed audiences in Sofia Coppola's Oscar-winning film, their oddball pairing still resonates. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two year-old charged with theft. Personally, I hope they give the little bastard the maximum [Sad]

Sunday 4 October 21:51:46 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Space-Themed Hotel Suite Was Designed By an Aspiring Astronaut

Sunday 4 October 20:30:00 UTC 2015

It definitely looks more comfortable than a night in the International Space Station [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After years of wasting resources, counter-productive results and tedious lectures from Dunk, recycling still exists mainly to make leftist urban hipsters feel superior to normal Americans [Awkward]

Sunday 4 October 20:29:41 UTC 2015

Awkward [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Porn star asked to give speech at Christian college [Ironic]

Sunday 4 October 20:14:25 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What is the wing speed velocity of a laden pigeon carrying 28 grams of drugs to a prison in Costa Rica? [Weird]

Sunday 4 October 20:01:27 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this melting meditator [Photoshop]

Sunday 4 October 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Black male suspended from school. News: White female scared and intimidated by another student. Fark: While engaging in staring contest [Sad]

Sunday 4 October 19:50:29 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Bermuda Triangle claims another victim [Followup]

Sunday 4 October 19:35:36 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (October 4, 2015)

Sunday 4 October 19:26:18 UTC 2015

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M443, October 4, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

However, PlayStations and Xboxes–State-of-the-Art: A New York University Center for Justice study released in September warned that, unless major upgrades are made quickly, 43 states will conduct 2016 elections on electronic voting machines at least 10 years old and woefully suspect. Those … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't send naked pictures to anybody you don't trust. Also, don't trust anybody [PSA]

Sunday 4 October 19:20:34 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh the cute manateee [Sappy]

Sunday 4 October 19:18:45 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Burlington, Vermont

Sunday 4 October 18:30:00 UTC 2015

It may be the largest city in the Green Mountain state, but to residents and visitors alike, Burlington feels more like a small town. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » They walk in carrying a skateboard, wearing jeans and a hoodie, and walk out with $3 million. Welcome to the new era of teenage high-roller gamblers [Strange]

Sunday 4 October 17:38:40 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you want to kill the dentist who used to date your boyfriend, you just might get lucky and hire an actual hitman, not a cop [Scary]

Sunday 4 October 17:02:49 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Surprising Uses for Vodka

Sunday 4 October 16:30:00 UTC 2015

Thinking outside the bottle for National Vodka Day. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you deny a cop his donuts, you're gonna have a bad time [Facepalm]

Sunday 4 October 16:17:59 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Inside the Cave Where Homo Naledi Was Discovered

Sunday 4 October 15:44:19 UTC 2015

To get to the fossils, scientists had to squeeze through a 7-inch-wide crevice. [Link]

FMyLife » FacePalmPower says FML

Sunday 4 October 15:11:24 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 4 October 15:11:23 UTC 2015

Today, we had a school reunion. The guy who bullied me throughout my high school career is now rich and married. I'm broke and single, and he specifically came up to me to point it out. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Blood-Sucking Facts About 'Once Bitten'

Sunday 4 October 15:00:00 UTC 2015

Thirty years ago, Jim Carrey was a teenage vampire. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom writes civil, thoughtful criticism of "sexy cop" costumes for toddlers on Party City's Facebook page. Party City naturally has a problem with that [Fail]

Sunday 4 October 14:13:52 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [473 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this staged romance [Photoshop]

Sunday 4 October 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Work lessons [CSB]

Sunday 4 October 13:00:00 UTC 2015

CSB [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Nasal Ranger Is a Real-Life Smell-O-Scope

Sunday 4 October 13:00:00 UTC 2015

Scent detectives use the olfactometer to sniff out trouble. [Link]

Weird Universe » Beard Beer

Sunday 4 October 11:51:40 UTC 2015

Oregon's Rogue Brewery boasts that its Beard Beer is made with only hops, malts, "free-range coastal water," and Beard Yeast collected from the beard of its brewmaster, John Maier.

Maybe it's a really great beer, but I kinda think they would have been better off keeping the source of the yeast as their own little secret.


[Link]

Weird Universe » John Duval Gluck: Santa Claus Con Man

Sunday 4 October 11:22:30 UTC 2015

The story of this Xmas scammer–as summarized in this article–strikes me as eminently weird, and is detailed at length in the book linked to below. I trust an author whose other publication is the "Weird-o-Pedia."

[Link]

Mental Floss » In Portland, You Can Now Drink Salmon-Safe Beer

Sunday 4 October 11:00:00 UTC 2015

Your beer can be artisanal, local, organic, or gluten-free. Now, it can also help conserve the Pacific Northwest's wild fish. [Link]

FMyLife » Till We Pass Out says FML

Sunday 4 October 10:27:09 UTC 2015

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML [Link]

FMyLife » xxx says FML

Sunday 4 October 10:27:08 UTC 2015

Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died. But I thought for a few seconds the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML [Link]

GraphJam » I Like This Moment

Sunday 4 October 10:27:00 UTC 2015

facebook,osama,Pie Chart,sharing Graph by: jadennuss2 Tagged: facebook , osama , Pie Chart , sharing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Sunday 4 October 10:26:57 UTC 2015

pet peeves Pie Chart teachers wikipedia - 3956620544 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: pet peeves , Pie Chart , teachers , wikipedia Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Situational Sneezing

Sunday 4 October 10:26:56 UTC 2015

always Bar Graph couch dramatic henchmen hiding living room never occasionally often pause rarely sitting sneeze sneezing symphony villains - 3394508032 Graph by: Tagged: always , Bar Graph , couch , dramatic , henchmen , hiding , living room , never , occasionally , often , pause , rarely , sitting , sneeze , sneezing , symphony , villains Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Friendship Paradox

Sunday 4 October 10:26:43 UTC 2015

annoy,friendship,paradox,people,venn diagram Graph by: Unknown Tagged: annoy , friendship , paradox , people , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Say Get Them Back, the Hard Way

Sunday 4 October 10:26:33 UTC 2015

cat food,Cats,headphones,Pie Chart Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cat food , Cats , headphones , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At Least You Aren't a Dork

Sunday 4 October 10:26:32 UTC 2015

evolution flow chart geek types Graph by: sixonefive72 Tagged: evolution , flow chart , geek , types Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sunny With a Chance of Rapture

Sunday 4 October 10:26:27 UTC 2015

infographic,jesus saves,judgment day,RAPTURE Graph by: (via Laughing Squid) Tagged: infographic , jesus saves , judgment day , RAPTURE Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas "textbooks" refer to America's history of slavery as "Africans being brought over as 'workers' on Southern plantations" [Fail]

Sunday 4 October 9:18:07 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [355 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Secret Lives of Jellyfish

Sunday 4 October 9:00:00 UTC 2015

Jellyfish have survived five mass extinctions, and they're still stinging! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man jailed for stealing truck. Fark: He did it so he could get away from his wife [Facepalm]

Sunday 4 October 8:57:09 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hero soldier saves woman from being kidnapped from a crazed man. Fark: The soldier didn't notice all the cameras filming it for a movie [Facepalm]

Sunday 4 October 7:44:46 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Animals Attack in Slow Motion

Sunday 4 October 7:00:00 UTC 2015

Get up-close with chameleons, turtles, crocs, and more—watch out, they bite! [Link]

Futility Closet » Easy Pi

Sunday 4 October 6:48:36 UTC 2015

Here’s a simple algorithm that Yoshiaki Tamura and Yasumasa Kanada used to calculate π to 16 million places. It’s based on Gauss’ study of the arithmetic-geometric mean of two numbers. “Instead of using an infinite sum or product, the calculation goes round and round in a loop,” writes David Wells in The Penguin Dictionary of Curious and Interesting Numbers. “It … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a man desperate to get out of his cellular plan (w/video) [Fail]

Sunday 4 October 6:29:22 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Blount County, Tennessee considers adopting measure begging God to spare them His coming wrath over same-sex marriage [Facepalm]

Sunday 4 October 5:58:26 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [226 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 4 October 5:57:22 UTC 2015

Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML [Link]

FMyLife » coward says FML

Sunday 4 October 5:57:21 UTC 2015

Today, after 4 days of avoiding me and screening his calls, my 24-year-old boyfriend sent his mother to break up with me on his behalf. FML [Link]

FMyLife » JJ says FML

Sunday 4 October 5:57:20 UTC 2015

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML [Link]

The Onion » Sports News in Brief: Quarterback Better Snap The Ball, Reports Man Nervously Eyeing Play Clock

Sunday 4 October 5:30:00 UTC 2015

MANSFIELD, OH—Frantically shifting his gaze between the field and play clock as the seconds wound down, local 34-year-old football fan Isaac Collins announced Sunday that the quarterback better hurry the hell up and snap the ball. “C’mon, only eight seconds left—what are you waiting for?” said Collins, carefully eyeing the small play clock graphic in the corner of the screen … [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Burn a Candle Underwater

Sunday 4 October 5:00:00 UTC 2015

Here is a fun, quick experiment you can do at home with very few materials [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT), it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music from Juneau, Alaska hosted live by a farker, and for tonight only a very special co-host will be joining him in the studio [Live]

Sunday 4 October 4:57:28 UTC 2015

Live [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Billionaires only care about the prices of planes and boats and things like that. "A loaf of bread? No idea" [Obvious]

Sunday 4 October 3:21:30 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [209 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Firefly Park Is Illuminated By 10,000 Lightning Bugs

Sunday 4 October 3:00:00 UTC 2015

For plenty of people, a park populated by thousands of flying insects sounds more like a nightmare than a fun day out. But the concept becomes more appealing when it’s revealed that those bugs are all fireflies, whose bioluminescent properties make for a stunning visual display. [Link]

Mental Floss » Why the Curiosity Rover is Forbidden From Collecting Water on Mars

Sunday 4 October 2:51:53 UTC 2015

It's thanks to a treaty we signed in 1967. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists successfully reattach decapitated infant's head. I've seen this movie and it doesn't end well for the rest of us [Interesting]

Sunday 4 October 2:29:32 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Assuming this is true (and in my mind it is), it's the greatest missed connection story ever [Sappy]

Sunday 4 October 2:10:34 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Do We Have to Sleep?

Sunday 4 October 1:30:00 UTC 2015

Learn about the science of sleep. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oregon gunman spared one student, gave him a package and told him to deliver it to the police. The police never heard of it [Interesting]

Sunday 4 October 1:20:33 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [193 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida senate candidate : I'll admit to performing ritualistic animal sacrifices, but I never dismembered a goat [Florida]

Sunday 4 October 0:18:28 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this slight case of crazy [Photoshop]

Sunday 4 October 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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