Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Man steals $1.12 spoon from Walmart, says he needed it "to eat my Captain Crunch with." Felony jailarity ensues [Florida]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "Thirsty" Concrete Soaks Up 880 Gallons of Water a Minute
The proof is in the pavement. [Link]
FMyLife » helpme says FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Artists Create 1000-Year-Long GIF
Will GIFs still be around in 3017? And more importantly, will we still be arguing about how to pronounce GIF? [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Perfectamundo Phrases from 'Happy Days'
Yowsah! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Prince of Bel Air arrested for sex crime. Yo holmes, smell you later [Scary]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Facebook 'unfriending' can constitute workplace bullying, Australian tribunal finds [Asinine]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Cops Help Children Settle Debate: Do Sirens Go 'Nee-Nah' or 'Woo-Woo'?
Police offered an apology to residents of a quiet neighborhood after officers conducted a loud—but important—investigation. [Link]
Mental Floss » Mark Hamill's Original 'Star Wars' Audition
He got $1000 a week for 'Star Wars.' He's doing better now. [Link]
Mental Floss » Multitasking Can Help Make Your Workout More Effective
Participants pedaled 25 percent faster on a stationary bike when given simple mental tasks to complete. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scots have 421 words for snow. Nothing so far for heat wave [Interesting]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » First they came for Dodgeball, and I did not speak out because I did not play Dodgeball. Then they came for Red Rover, I did not speak because I did not play Red Rover. Then they came for Tag, but there was no one to speak, because I was already it [
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The flow of Muslim refugees into Norway greatly increases the risk of a terrorist attack, according to Norway's intelligence service. An attack from right-wing anti-immigrant extremists, but yeah [Stupid]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Jeopardy-Style Movie Quote Quiz II
Take the quiz! [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Things You Need to Know About National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day
The government wants to set your drugs on fire. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Pluto is Beautiful
Sorry Kim Kardashian, Pluto might be the most photogenic thing in the galaxy. * This hypnotic cat music video is the perfect thing to enjoy on a Friday. * The pope is in the U.S., but his new mixtape—okay, pop-rock-inspired track—is all over the Internet. * Pizza Rat has already been immortalized in plush form. * Hot sauce lovers are … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japanese men on the street opine on whether they would like to date foreign women if they had the chance. Sex can be more frequent, sure, but what if they have different tastes in food? [Silly]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these cool kids [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Babies Are Trying to Manipulate You Into Smiling at Them
Babies, so conniving! [Link]
FMyLife » Failed_Dad says FML
Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Pope Spends Day In NYC
Pope Francis’ visit to the U.S. continues today with a full slate of events in New York City, including an address to the UN General Assembly, a visit to the 9/11 Memorial and Museum, a parade through Central Park, and concluding with an evening mass at Madison Square Garden. What do you think?
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Smoking or non-smoking section. New hotness: Carnivore or herbivore section [Facepalm]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch This Supercut of Forgotten VCR Board Games
The forgotten world of pseudo-interactive VCR games [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Like the undead, the Fark Weird News Quiz rises from the grave. And as usual, it wants your brains [Survey]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
By Adolf Kraemer. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hasbeen man buns are now soooooooo yesterday, the new man bro style is the 'man plait' [Stupid]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japanese robot manufacturer asks buyers not to have sex with its products. Expected tentacle upgrade release date uncertain [Giggity]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida Man caught with a pants-load full of shoplifted merchandise; 19 cans of Vienna sausages, 5 cans of Spam, 4 bags of peanuts, two bottles of Smirnoff, and a partridge in a pear tree [Florida]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Extreme squirrel feeder loses appeal against government surveillance of his nuts [Strange]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mother angry that school confiscated her 14-year-old child's cigarette [Interesting]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Onion Studios: Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size
[Link]
Mental Floss » Misconceptions about Movie Making
Want the awful truth about more of your favorite things? Adam Ruins Everything is dropping knowledge Tuesday 10/9c on truTV! [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 of the World’s Coolest Mazes You Can Visit
Whether in Italy or Illinois, the world's full of amazing places to get lost. [Link]
Mental Floss » 20 Word Usage Mistakes Even Smart People Make
English vocabulary is full of pitfalls that you might not be aware of. Don't let them trip you up. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No need to wait for an asteroid to hit us doomsdayers, we have ISIS who want to cause an Islamic nuclear "tsunami" to wipe out hundreds of millions of us from the face of the earth [Scary]
[link] [130 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Onion Studios: Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized
[Link]
The Onion » Onion Studios: How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You’re Having Sex With Him
[Link]
Mental Floss » What Does the Pope Eat?
Pope Francis’ menu for his New York visit seems pretty bland. [Link]
Mental Floss » Mike Tyson's Cash-Out: Boxer Introduces Bitcoin ATM in Las Vegas
The future of digital currency is in the hands of Mike Tyson. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wood pellet factory eliminates middle man [Sad]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review
A roundup of the strangest news stories from all over. [Link]
The Onion » Sports News in Brief: Mike Florio Loses 3 Fingers After Accident While Working At ProFootballTalk Rumor Mill
BRIDGEPORT, WV—Noting that the 50-year-old was in stable condition after the grisly injury, sources confirmed Friday that veteran sportswriter Mike Florio lost three fingers on his right hand following an accident while working in the ProFootballTalk Rumor Mill. “Mike was trying to extract some new information about the injury status of Drew Brees, and his hand just wound up getting … [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Study: Humans Began Domesticating Animals To Comfort Children Whose Parents Split Up
LEXINGTON, KY—Providing insight into the customs and social dynamics of prehistoric populations, researchers at the University of Kentucky published a study Friday revealing that humans began domesticating wild animals in order to comfort children whose parents had separated. “According to our findings, our ancient ancestors first tamed and bred gray wolves some 30,000 to 40,000 years ago as a means … [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Area Man Got Good Amount Of Meat In That Last Bite
FORT DODGE, IA—Saying the first mouthful of the cheeseburger had been mostly bun and lettuce, local man Tony Rossetti confirmed Friday that he got a good amount of meat in that last bite. “That was a good one, mostly meat,” said Rossetti, who held up the sandwich and carefully scrutinized the cross-section of bread, meat, cheese, and condiments before continuing … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » GCHQ tracked every web user's browsing habits. Sleep well, citizen [Scary]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » ‘The Warriors’ Reunited to Recreate Their Subway Ride to Coney Island
The cast of the New York City-set cult classic took a ride on the Q train. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Archaeologists say decapitation victim proves South America had sophisticated society 9,000 years ago. Subby thinks they just hadn't invented wood chippers yet [Misc]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Short History of Area 51's Shady Expansion
Area 51, everyone's favorite alien conspiracy theorist hub, is growing—whether its neighbors like it or not. [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Pope Francis Lays Hands On Ailing U.S. Infrastructure
NEW YORK—Treating the frail, long-overlooked structures with an unparalleled display of compassion, Pope Francis reportedly inspired a crowd of onlookers Friday by laying his hands upon the ailing United States infrastructure. “My heart just melted when I watched the pope interrupt his address to walk over and gently embrace this disfigured bridge cross-girder that was covered in unsightly rust,” said … [Link]
The Onion » News in Photos: Boehner Resignation Leaves Massive Leadership Vacuum In Congress Intact
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Student who rescued blind classmate being attacked by bully gets suspended and booted from football team [Followup]
[link] [299 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Pick the Correct Word for Each Definition
Take the quiz! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ben Carson rewrites the Laws of Thermodynamics in desperate appeal to fundamentalist voters, creates a universe in which Ben Carson is electable [Obvious]
[link] [298 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Olé! 13 Tidbits About Taco John’s
It's the only place you can officially go for Taco Tuesday. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wait. Should I NOT ask for lasagna recipes in PornHub comments? (Not safe for work) [Awkward]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Obama Scrambling Around White House Kitchen Before State Dinner
WASHINGTON—Darting back and forth from refrigerator to sink to prep table while hurriedly preparing 350 hand-carved radish rosettes, a visibly agitated President Obama reported Friday that everything must be absolutely perfect for tonight’s state dinner in honor of Chinese president Xi Jinping. “I’ve got to have this duck confit ready for President Xi in just a few hours and I … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » According to Fox News, Leonardo DiCaprio painted the Mona Lisa [Amusing]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Feel Virtual Reality With a High-Tech Armband
Now you can feel what your character does. [Link]
Mental Floss » See the Same Sentence in 17 Different Sign Languages
Watch how people from all over the world sign the sentence, "More is possible." [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman fired for "offensive" hand tattoo which is comparatively inoffensive compared to the rest of her [Ironic]
[link] [296 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Syracuse Removes ‘Kiss Cam’ From Games
Syracuse University is considering the permanent removal of the popular “kiss cam” at sporting events after an open letter from a fan discouraged the practice, citing a recent incident where a woman was pressured into kissing a stranger when the two of them appeared on the Jumbotron. What do you think?
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents outraged at "inappropriate" 8th-grade science assignment that insinuated anyone dismissing evolution was misleading students [Florida]
[link] [234 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Farfromtruthen [Followup]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
The Onion » News in Brief: Life-Saving Drug More Accessible To Lab Rat Than Majority Of Americans
NEW YORK—Noting that the cost of the pharmaceutical drug places it out of reach for most of the U.S. populace, industry analysts confirmed Friday that the life-saving cancer medication Rizolafan remains far more accessible to a laboratory rat than to the vast majority of Americans. “While this drug has shown considerable efficacy in counteracting tumor growth, U.S. citizens who are … [Link]
Mental Floss » How Morticians Reinvented Their Job Title
Crafting the right euphemism for funeral directors was a formal (and laborious) undertaking. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to have a menage-a-trois, you probably shouldn't leave a knife on the nightstand [Sad]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Did Language Begin?
Here's what we know about the origin of language. [Link]
The Onion » Tech Trends: Study: Technology Making It Easier For Mankind To Get More Annoyed Than Ever
A new study from the American Psychological Association has found that advances in technology have simplified and streamlined the ways in which humanity becomes completely infuriated.
[Link]
FMyLife » hunting7waves says FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 20 Pieces of Iconic Pop Culture Memorabilia You Can Own Right Now
Collecting props and memorabilia from television shows and films is the ultimate way to let your geek flag fly, while also doing your part to preserve pop culture history. Whether it's Princess Leia's metal bikini from Return of the Jedi (1983) or Orson Welles's scripts from Citizen Kane (1941), rare props from beloved films and television series are often treated … [Link]
Mental Floss » What Is the Multiverse?
According to theories, everything that could occur or exist does exist in at least one universe…whoa. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russian unmanned nuclear submarines to encircle USA to create giant tsunami waves [Interesting]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Florida's Incredible Coral Castle
Edward Leedskalnin spent nearly 30 years building this stone monument to the fiancée who jilted him. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these valves [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "The Surest Jaws on All Four Paws": Ashley Whippet, Dog Frisbee Pioneer
How a 28-pound pooch made canine Frisbee a worldwide phenomenon (and got his owner arrested). [Link]
Futility Closet » Memorial
I just stumbled across this — in May 1938 Weird Tales published an “acrostic sonnet” by H.P. Lovecraft: Eternal brood the shadows on this ground,
Dreaming of centuries that have gone before;
Great elms rise solemnly by slab and mound,
Arch’d high above a hidden world of yore.
Round all the scene a light of memory plays,
And dead leaves … [Link]
FMyLife » anon says FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML [Link]
FMyLife » whatdidimarry says FML
Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML [Link]
FMyLife » BuggedinBelgium says FML
Today, my sister and I checked into our cheap hotel in Brussels as part of our month-long Europe trip. At 11pm we awoke to the sound of a mouse chewing through a bag of food we'd bought. At 3am we awoke to bedbugs. We slept in the bathroom. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After a routine traffic stop, Chicago police literally beat the shiat out of man responsible for investigating police brutality cases [Ironic]
[link] [338 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Tarantula on a plane
The crew of a Delta Airlines flight from Baltimore to Atlanta decided that everyone had to switch to a new plane when they learned that a baboon tarantula was loose on board. The tarantula had somehow escaped from its cargo shipment container.
The tarantula was later found. It had never made its way into the passenger compartment. But still, a … [Link]
Mental Floss » Amazon Prime Membership is Just $67 Today
Last weekend, Amazon’s original series Transparent bagged five Emmy Awards, including Jeffrey Tambor taking the statuette for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy. Amazon is celebrating the win in a way that will make it cheaper for new viewers to watch the show—by offering a special one-day discount on a year membership to Amazon Prime. Instead of the normal $99 … [Link]
Weird Universe » Trompe l’oeil in the Villa Barbaro
Wikipedia entry here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chinese fire drill results in 191 middle-school students hospitalized, 37 with critical injuries [Fail]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Wrap"ping Up the Week
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Miami-Dade police arrest suspected pot grower, seize 15 live marijuana plants weighing 103 pounds, which could have yielded at least 30 pounds of usable pot." Read more at copmath.com [Florida]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "It shows just how far we might need to go to appease law enforcement's desire for backdoor access" [Obvious]
[link] [124 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Your Brain On Coffee vs. Your Brain On Beer
Believe it or not, coffee and beer make great teammates when you're trying to get through a project. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Michael Jordan, the most favorite Italian historical figure of Miss Italy. Well, there you have it [Amusing]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Rocky Horror 40th Anniversary Celebration
If you’re in New York this weekend, you can catch The Rocky Horror Picture Show 40th Anniversary events. That is, if you’re still young enough to do the Time Warp again.
*
If You Can't Say 'Yes,' Don't Say Anything At All. We’ve given up saying “no” by avoidance and disappearing acts.
*
38 Cozy Cocktails Guaranteed To Warm You Up … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The first rule of daycare fight club is don't talk to your mom about daycare fight club [Obvious]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » New Video Games Use Biometrics to Help Players Manage Stress
The games teach players conquer anxiety in the game and in the real world [Link]
FMyLife » officework says FML
Today, during the "what can your manager do to help with your career aspirations" section of my annual review, my manager basically told me she wouldn't help me and I should quit. FML [Link]
FMyLife » oh_lordy_me says FML
Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML [Link]
GraphJam » Africkin' Huge
Graph by: (via @brainpicker) Tagged: africa , continents , cool , map , Maps Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Times it is OK to wear Jorts
Graph by: marseeah Tagged: clothing , fashion , jeans , jorts , never , Pie Chart , shorts Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Collect 'Em All, Bro
Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: ax , best of week , collect them all , douchbag Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Contents of Cologne Ads
LoL by: Unknown Tagged: cologne , ladyfunbags , magazine , men Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Consumers will spend $7 billion on Halloween this year because there is that much money to waste [Murica]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The New York Postiest story ever starts off with "Three hookers stripped and engaged in a boxing match," then gets sleazy [Obvious]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 20 Things You Might Not Know About 'The A-Team'
Pity the fool who doesn't know that B.A. never said "I pity the fool." [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As Sir David Attenborough might have said, "The Gaboon Viper is known for having the longest fangs of any venomous snake, as well as the predilection for biting idiots who keep them as pets" [Florida]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Beautiful Paintings Show What It'd Be Like to Stand on Pluto's Surface
More Pluto fan art, please! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Willow man jumps from roof, flees into forest. May be accompanied by a couple of brownies, and a Nelwyn conjurer carrying a Daikini baby [Misc]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Limbless Magician of 18th Century London
Crowds came to see a limbless man deal cards, fire a gun, and conjure live birds. Could he deliver? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The most overdue library book in San Diego is… The Shining [Creepy]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Fascinating Facts About 'Natural Born Killers'
One of the most controversial films of the 1990s originated in the mind of Quentin Tarantino. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » $@#@WR farking skunk just @##$Q@#EW sprayed right by my @$%T$##@$@# bbq. Bye bye pork chops. @##@$$@LGN/DIT [Asinine]
[link] [795 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Visual Guide to Common Cemetery Symbols
Every gravesite has a unique story to tell, whether it’s with a clever epitaph or a decorative detail. [Link]
Mental Floss » Decoding the U.S. Dollar Bill
Money talks if you know how to understand it. [Link]
Mental Floss » What Makes These Dominican Children Grow Penises at Puberty?
It’s the result of a rare enzyme deficiency that delays crucial steps of male sexual development in the womb. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police apologize for using sirens to settle argument over whether they go 'nee-naw' or 'woo-woo' [Amusing]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » UK McDonald’s Are Including Roald Dahl Books in Happy Meals
Each book includes samples from some of his most beloved stories. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In an interview that won't be televised in Russia, Putin states 'Their openness allows them to unleash the inner potential of their people and thanks to that, they have attained such amazing results in developing their country.' [Ironic]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The only vibrant fall colors they get in Phoenix are the different license plates from out-of-state visitors [Obvious]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Putin offers to meet with Elton John to discuss gay rights. Sir Elton, if they offer you tea, don't drink it [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 'True Detective' Producers Are Bringing 'Catch-22' To TV
In 1970, Joseph Heller's seminal novel was made into a movie. Now, it's slated to hit the small screen. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Duck, duck, BUS [Sad]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Facts About the Brooklyn Bridge You Won't Fuhgeddaboud
Don't agree to buy it, but you can never know too much about the most famous way to get across the East River. 1. THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE NEEDED A LITTLE BRIBERY TO GET STARTED. In its initial conception, the Brooklyn Bridge had an honorable goal: Providing safe passage across the rough and frigid East River for Brooklyn residents who worked … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML [Link]
FMyLife » cougar26 says FML
Today, my boss had a breakdown and sent me home early. Apparently my voice reminds him of his abusive stepfather. He said I'm lucky he's on medication. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Yes, you've seen expensive swimming pools, but how about a $2 million pool that has a water slide through the inside of a mountain? [Cool]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this warm welcome [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 'Speed Chess' Arcade Game is Anything But Boring
Check out this futuristic, adrenaline-fueled chess game, courtesy of Japan. [Link]
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