John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Old Arabic proverb: the enemy of my enemy is my friend. The latest enemy of ISIS is now al Qaeda, which makes for a totes awkward BFF [Awkward]

Thursday 10 September 23:48:51 UTC 2015

Awkward [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy busted for attacking girlfriend during 4 AM argument "about eating Doritos" looks like he knows something about the munchies [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 September 23:36:33 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazing Discovery: We Have a New Human Relative

Thursday 10 September 23:30:00 UTC 2015

Scientists have unearthed the largest cache of a single species of hominins ever discovered in Africa. [Link]

Weird Universe » Party Favors

Thursday 10 September 23:06:01 UTC 2015


Delightful mother of the year planning her daughter's 18th birthday party didn't think a limo ride to London for an evening of partying was enough. To make sure they had a good time she got 12 baggies of cocaine for the trip. The party was to be in February but unfortunately for mom police stopped by on the 31 of … [Link]

FMyLife » bwoolf96 says FML

Thursday 10 September 23:02:09 UTC 2015

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Hear 5 of the Dumbest-Sounding Birds in North America

Thursday 10 September 23:00:00 UTC 2015

They may look beautiful, but they sound absurd. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Popular Books in Public Libraries Across the Country

Thursday 10 September 22:30:55 UTC 2015

Two of this year's bestselling novels dominate in cities across the country. [Link]

Mental Floss » 18 So Cool Facts About 'True Romance'

Thursday 10 September 22:30:00 UTC 2015

After being ignored by moviegoers and hated on by Bob Dole, Quentin Tarantino's first writing effort is now considered a contemporary classic. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Estranged son attempts to bury the hatchet with his parents, sheriff's deputies [Scary]

Thursday 10 September 22:25:38 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mysterious chunk of ice crashes through home, leaves owner complaining about giant ice-hole [Scary]

Thursday 10 September 22:01:42 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Miss Vermont plans to cause "an eruption of foam shooting skyward" during the talent portion of tonight's Miss America pageant [Giggity]

Thursday 10 September 21:51:22 UTC 2015

Giggity [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Do I Get Bruises?

Thursday 10 September 21:30:00 UTC 2015

Next up in our Why series for curious kids! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The A-10 Warthog video the Air Force doesn't want you to see. Keep calm and BRRRRRRT on [Cool]

Thursday 10 September 21:17:37 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [256 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michigan golfer dies of 20 bee stings and being 34 over par [Sad]

Thursday 10 September 21:15:25 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Filmmakers Choose Aspect Ratios in Movies

Thursday 10 September 21:00:00 UTC 2015

Aspect ratios are often ignored, but they're an important part of how we experience movies [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Cheese… it's not just for Fark Threads. Which cheeses do you like to use for cooking and which do you just enjoy as a snack? [Interesting]

Thursday 10 September 21:00:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Little girl crawls inside and gets trapped in an arcade game claw machine. Firefighters rush to the scene after getting change for a $20 bill [Amusing]

Thursday 10 September 20:45:36 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » myrkes says FML

Thursday 10 September 20:44:26 UTC 2015

Today, it's the day before my friends' wedding. My dress has not yet been shipped from the online shop where I ordered it three weeks ago, the hand-crafted gift that was ordered last month is trapped at customs and my cats have just managed to open the drawer and eat the wedding card. FML [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: 2015 NFL Season Preview

Thursday 10 September 20:38:00 UTC 2015


[Link]

Mental Floss » Stephen Colbert and Elon Musk Talk Tesla, Nuking Mars, and Supervillainy

Thursday 10 September 20:30:00 UTC 2015

Like many of us, Stephen Colbert seems to have noticed that global (and extraterrestrial) entrepreneur Elon Musk has been shaking things up in numerous areas of human innovation over the past several years. So Colbert brought the semi-mysterious mogul, engineer, and SpaceX/Tesla CEO onstage during day two of his reign at The Late Show. Colbert points out that his guest’s … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For his entry in the electoral contest to see who can make the most incendiary/stupid remark, Huckabee says the Dred Scott decision is still the law of the land — it's just that people decided not to follow it [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 September 20:15:26 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [176 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this nerd rage [Photoshop]

Thursday 10 September 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Dangerous Toys from Decades Past (and the Commercials That Sold Them)

Thursday 10 September 20:00:00 UTC 2015

Nothing says “fun” like a cerebral hemorrhage. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kim Davis's attorney announced the jail time made her understand her mistakes and she is going to do her job from now on. Just kidding, she will attempt to invalidate all marriage licenses given out in her absence and pursue criminal penalties [F

Thursday 10 September 19:57:37 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [387 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever seen an entire town covered from street to rooftop with a 215,000 square-foot rainbow? Well, now you have [Cool]

Thursday 10 September 19:44:36 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California senate wants more people to have great-looking, plastic implants [Giggity]

Thursday 10 September 19:35:28 UTC 2015

Giggity [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The wheels on the wrong school bus go round and round for four hours [Stupid]

Thursday 10 September 19:32:28 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Even Gorillas Love Smartphones

Thursday 10 September 19:30:00 UTC 2015

Intriguing Headline of the Day: Even Gorillas Are Glued to Smartphones These Days * An Ikea shopper likely caused some confusion when he posted these fake product reviews around the store. * You can tell a place is going to be creepy when it’s called “Hitler’s Hospital.” * Take that, big box stores! Independent bookstores are doing quite well. * … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Tearful Anthropologists Discover Dead Ancestor Of Humans 100,000 Years Too Late

Thursday 10 September 19:29:00 UTC 2015

JOHANNESBURG—Lamenting that there was nothing they could possibly do, tearful anthropologists announced at a press conference Thursday that they had discovered the bodies of 15 deceased human ancestors 100,000 years too late. “Not too long ago, these early people were alive and going about their normal daily lives, but sadly, by the time we scaled down the narrow 90-meter chute … [Link]

Mental Floss » Dog Sets World Record For Most Balls Caught With Paws

Thursday 10 September 19:25:29 UTC 2015

This is the cutest display of athleticism you'll see today. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Murder reconstruction on TV has viewers naming suspect. Police quickly detain and take DNA from actor who played murderer in reconstruction [Awkward]

Thursday 10 September 19:19:41 UTC 2015

Awkward [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I-10 freeway sniper still at large in Phoenix area. Fortunately he's a terrible shot, so have a pleasant commute [Scary]

Thursday 10 September 19:12:44 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A gun in his waistband and marijuana in his truck" Police report or Country music lyric? [Asinine]

Thursday 10 September 19:10:29 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Under chin injection to dissolve neck fat rapidly becoming popular. It also causes nerve damage to go along with the brain damage you have for wanting to inject ACID INTO YOUR NECK [Sick]

Thursday 10 September 19:04:22 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Now You Can Experience Beethoven’s Music in Virtual Reality

Thursday 10 September 19:00:00 UTC 2015

The Los Angeles Philharmonic is using technology to make classical music more accessible. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The stupid. It hurts. Especially if you're a Sikh being beaten on the head by someone calling you "Bin Laden" [Stupid]

Thursday 10 September 18:59:37 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US Intelligence on ISIS: "They are not within 100 miles of Baghdad. We have destroyed their shovels. We have burned them all with our shoes" [Unlikely]

Thursday 10 September 18:48:20 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [52 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Tinder Adds New ‘Super Like’ Feature

Thursday 10 September 18:48:00 UTC 2015

Dating app Tinder announced Wednesday the addition of a “Super Like” function that allows users to “swipe up” on people they’re most interested in, and stated that it intends to keep the feature meaningful by limiting users to only one Super Like per day. What do you think?
[Link]

Futility Closet » Reminder

Thursday 10 September 18:47:51 UTC 2015

You can get bonus posts and other rewards by supporting me on Patreon — plus the satisfaction of keeping the site going. Interact with me and other readers, browse the growing archive of bonus material, see my book recommendations, and more. You choose the amount to contribute, and you can change or cancel it at any time. See the Patreon … [Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Spirited Facts About American Girl Dolls

Thursday 10 September 18:30:00 UTC 2015

A detailed history of your favorite childhood dolls and books. [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: How U.S. Schools Can Improve Math Education

Thursday 10 September 18:24:00 UTC 2015

With U.S. students regularly placing behind 20 to 25 other nations in mathematics test scores, many education experts are wondering what the sources of the problem are and how we can take steps to fix them. Here’s a look at how American schools can improve their math curricula and help struggling students:Gradually reduce the amount of numbers overcrowding the curriculum … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If your 14 year-old little brother uses your favorite M4 assault rifle to kill a classmate and himself, just let it go. It's gone [Murica]

Thursday 10 September 18:17:28 UTC 2015

Murica [link] [268 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's cheaper to rent a castle in France than an apartment in San Francisco [Interesting]

Thursday 10 September 18:14:31 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes, the long con doesn't pay out. Sometimes you end up stuffing a suggestion box full of cat pictures and never get the sweet reward of mockery [Strange]

Thursday 10 September 18:13:30 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brooklyn Is Getting a Food and Drink Museum

Thursday 10 September 18:00:00 UTC 2015

It will launch this fall with an exhibition on natural and artificial flavors. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twelve year old is no Einstein…she's smarter [Spiffy]

Thursday 10 September 17:52:34 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Your Cat Isn't as Attached to You as You Think

Thursday 10 September 17:30:00 UTC 2015

A new study finds cats do not view their owners as their prime source of safety and security. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Very interesting" says governor regarding a proposal to *finally* connect North and South. Boston, that is [Interesting]

Thursday 10 September 17:13:23 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It turns out that identity thieves just install card swipers on gas pumps now [Unlikely]

Thursday 10 September 17:13:22 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [111 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » smh says FML

Thursday 10 September 17:09:52 UTC 2015

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tesla founder Elon Musk says that we can colonize Mars. Problem: the temperature of Mars needs to be increased. Musk's solution: drop nukes on Mars [Asinine]

Thursday 10 September 17:06:29 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [233 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reason #67259 that it's bad to urinate in public: you never know when a Levantine viper will mistake your penis for a threat [Scary]

Thursday 10 September 17:01:29 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Muggles Are Welcome at Toronto's 'Harry Potter'-Themed Bar

Thursday 10 September 17:00:00 UTC 2015

The most authentic wizarding bar scene outside of Hogsmeade [Link]

FMyLife » Luke says FML

Thursday 10 September 16:56:43 UTC 2015

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out. And then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Powerful Facts About the Hoover Dam

Thursday 10 September 16:30:00 UTC 2015

The hulking Hoover Dam has been holding back the Colorado River and generating power for nearly 80 years, but you may be surprised to learn just how eventful its construction and naming were. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Time Coke and Pepsi Brought Their Rivalry to Outer Space

Thursday 10 September 16:00:00 UTC 2015

The Cola Wars were so heated in the summer of 1985 that even NASA got involved. [Link]

Mental Floss » All 50 States Reimagined as Food Puns

Thursday 10 September 15:30:00 UTC 2015

Oklahummus! Alahama! New Pork! [Link]

Mental Floss » Pick the Only Three…

Thursday 10 September 15:26:56 UTC 2015

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet Bertie, the Usain Bolt of the tortoise world…and that's official [Unlikely]

Thursday 10 September 15:23:28 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Zealand bans its first book in 22 years, which is disappointing news for the three people who still buy books [Strange]

Thursday 10 September 15:18:57 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a story about a headless chicken that lived for 18 months. No, it is not a euphemism for the 2016 presidential election. But [Murica]

Thursday 10 September 15:18:53 UTC 2015

Murica [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We've been studying Rome for centuries, so you'd think everything of consequence has already been discovered. Apparently, that's not the case at all [Strange]

Thursday 10 September 15:12:49 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Young Readers With This Gene Variant Are Far More Likely to Be Nearsighted

Thursday 10 September 15:00:00 UTC 2015

A new study says that kids with a specific gene variant who read at least an hour a day are five times more likely to develop myopia. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man calls up three banks and threatens to rob them. Police on lookout for I. P. Freely, Hugh Jass, Amanda Hugginkiss [Amusing]

Thursday 10 September 14:53:22 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Kick-Ass Facts About 'Wonder Woman'

Thursday 10 September 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Agelessness may have been the warrior princess's greatest superpower of all. [Link]

The Onion » News in Photos: Trees Planted In Poor Neighborhood Mature Just In Time For Gentrification

Thursday 10 September 14:15:12 UTC 2015


[Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Bath & Body Works

Thursday 10 September 14:06:17 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Marvel Cinematic Universe has so far revealed 4 of the 6 Infinity Stones, the other 2 are probably in Indonesia [Strange]

Thursday 10 September 13:39:31 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Is Pumpkin Spice?

Thursday 10 September 13:30:00 UTC 2015

Pumpkin Spice flavoring has more than 300 elements — and pumpkin isn’t one of them. [Link]

FMyLife » I didn't though says FML

Thursday 10 September 13:11:22 UTC 2015

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML [Link]

FMyLife » westie732 says FML

Thursday 10 September 13:11:21 UTC 2015

Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Virginia denying licenses for flags [Interesting]

Thursday 10 September 13:06:02 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these star-struck Canadian tourists in Coney Island, 1952 [Photoshop]

Thursday 10 September 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Plan to Build a “PopUp Forest” in Times Square

Thursday 10 September 13:00:00 UTC 2015

A miniature forest may be coming to the last place you’d expect. [Link]

Weird Universe » Sun Eating

Thursday 10 September 12:38:49 UTC 2015

From Hong Kong comes the latest fad in dieting. It's called "sun eating" or "sun gazing". You stand outside and stare at the setting sun, thereby consuming it's solar energy, which reduces (or even entirely eliminates) your body's need for food. Says one sun eater, "Some of us who have finished the therapy now eat less, and others don’t have … [Link]

Mental Floss » New App Helps the Elderly Stay in Touch With Family

Thursday 10 September 12:37:47 UTC 2015

The HomeTeam app helps bridge the tech divide between generations. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bones found in South African cave reveal new human relative that will insist on coming to the holidays but fail to bring a covered dish and act as if he didn't realize he had to bring a dish to pass [Cool]

Thursday 10 September 12:33:35 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets of the Gym

Thursday 10 September 12:30:00 UTC 2015

Gyms and the people who work for them have a nearly impossible mission. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yup, lockpickers managed to 3-D print luggage keys from the photo leaked by the TSA of all the keys on a keyring [Followup]

Thursday 10 September 12:28:59 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Electric Exercise Gloves

Thursday 10 September 12:00:07 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Now Juice With Your Pup

Thursday 10 September 12:00:00 UTC 2015

You could try bringing Fido with you to SoulCycle, but this is probably a more practical option. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'm a better parent when I'm drinking. I'm more patient, and some situations require more patience " [Obvious]

Thursday 10 September 11:55:40 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The New York Public Library Will Post 435,000 Historic Maps Online

Thursday 10 September 11:30:00 UTC 2015

The documents show what Manhattan looked like in the 1850s. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Since we're all going to die because the world is heating up, here's a map to tell when you're most likely to be cooked [Interesting]

Thursday 10 September 11:20:41 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Bath & Body Works

Thursday 10 September 11:15:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » Petting This Cute Caterpillar Could Send You To The Hospital

Thursday 10 September 11:00:00 UTC 2015

Puss caterpillars look like furry friends, but that fuzz is venomous! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sheer pandamonium broke out [Amusing]

Thursday 10 September 10:53:17 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Got your nose [Sick]

Thursday 10 September 10:43:19 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Any good parent knows the proper amount of cocaine to give their child on his or her 18th birthday [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 September 10:33:42 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Young Traveler's Instagram Offers a Rare Look at Life in North Korea

Thursday 10 September 10:30:00 UTC 2015

Tyler Pemberton, a Minneapolis native, took to Instagram to show off powerful images from his recent trip to Pyongyang. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 September 10:25:58 UTC 2015

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML [Link]

FMyLife » kay131 says FML

Thursday 10 September 10:25:57 UTC 2015

Today, I drove to school and arrived early to find a parking spot. I found one close to the school, checked the signs, and thought, "Street cleaning is Wednesday. It's okay to park here since it's Tuesday." Being thrown off a day by Labor Day on Monday, I came back to a ticket on my windshield. FML [Link]

GraphJam » College students' Halloween costumes

Thursday 10 September 10:25:49 UTC 2015

characters,college,costume,girls,halloween,movies,Pie Chart,scary,sexual,strippers,students,suggestive,TV Graph by: Michelle_CAAAT Tagged: characters , college , costume , girls , halloween , movies , Pie Chart , scary , sexual , strippers , students , suggestive , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Affecting Millions of Lonely Girls

Thursday 10 September 10:25:45 UTC 2015

Graph by: 413007 Tagged: epicdemics , fever , girls , justin bieber , lonely , Pie Chart , scary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Skills I learned as a kid

Thursday 10 September 10:25:43 UTC 2015

80s Bar Graph childhood nostalgia tetris - 3781817600 Graph by: lokop252 Tagged: 80s , Bar Graph , childhood , nostalgia , tetris Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Jersey Shore's On!

Thursday 10 September 10:25:42 UTC 2015

marathon,Pie Chart,Sad,TV Graph by: Unknown Tagged: marathon , Pie Chart , Sad , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Far-Fetched apocolypse theories

Thursday 10 September 10:25:41 UTC 2015

2012,apocalypse,bar graphs,bp,nuclear war,theories,zombie Far-Fetched apocolypse theories Graph by: loki544 Tagged: 2012 , apocalypse , bar graphs , bp , nuclear war , theories , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Like My Sleep How I Like My Ladies

Thursday 10 September 10:25:39 UTC 2015

Curvy, and frequently if I can manage. Graph by: OetamSGF Tagged: hours , Line Graph , need more , sleep Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Short and Sassy, and Sanitary!

Thursday 10 September 10:25:17 UTC 2015

attraction food hair long hair men Pie Chart Graph by: Unknown Tagged: attraction , food , hair , long hair , men , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Wish

Thursday 10 September 10:25:11 UTC 2015

art class,drawing,movies,Pie Chart,truancy story,TV Graph by: GermanDudemeister Tagged: art class , drawing , movies , Pie Chart , truancy story , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » NightHawk4926 says FML

Thursday 10 September 10:15:48 UTC 2015

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Subby's nomination for Mugshot of the Week goes to this man, who decided that his idea of having a blast is throwing lit firecrackers into a crowd [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 September 9:37:05 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Retired Anaheim drama teacher accused of molesting students, possessing child porn, and having a face that will haunt your dreams to the very depths of hell [Sick]

Thursday 10 September 9:34:15 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [77 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 September 9:12:19 UTC 2015

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Armed civilians to patrol stretch of Interstate 10 in Phoenix where multiple shootings took place. What could possibly go wrong? [Followup]

Thursday 10 September 8:56:22 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the time Donald Trump's father was arrested with fellow KKK members after they attacked police officer? Pepperidge Farm does [Interesting]

Thursday 10 September 8:34:07 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Most Gorgeous Waterfalls in the World

Thursday 10 September 8:30:00 UTC 2015

A waterfall is a thing of beauty and power and a testament to the wonder of physics. A good waterfall is a breathtaking spectacle that travelers will come from thousands of miles away just to witness. No two waterfalls are the same. Some meander slowly before plunging from dizzying heights. Others roar with the force of a steam train over … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you're gonna do a brain tissue transplant, avoid using brain tissue from a donor who had Alzheimer's [Obvious]

Thursday 10 September 8:21:00 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Melting Ice in Yellowstone Reveals Ancient Artifacts

Thursday 10 September 7:30:00 UTC 2015

The artifacts range from a few hundred to several thousand years old [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vietnam Vet who was exposed to Agent Orange and previously had a stroke, who now currently has stage 4 lung cancer has been denied his pain pills because he tested positive for marijuana. Murica. Fark yeah [Murica]

Thursday 10 September 7:29:04 UTC 2015

Murica [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The reason it costs $14,000 to treat a snakebite with $14 medicine [USA] [Murica]

Thursday 10 September 6:45:00 UTC 2015

Murica [link] [187 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Half of Everything

Thursday 10 September 6:41:02 UTC 2015

If two people want to split up amicably, the easiest solution is to divide their assets equally, with each partner getting 0.5. But suppose that one partner goes to a lawyer who charges a fee f but promises to get more, by an amount m + f, leaving his client better off by the amount m. If this happens, then … [Link]

Mental Floss » This 1-Minute Video Makes Understanding Trends Easy

Thursday 10 September 6:30:00 UTC 2015

Statistics can be confusing. This animation of a dog is here to help. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sheriff Joe Arpaio comes to the rescue of a poor, neglected ass [Spiffy]

Thursday 10 September 5:49:08 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Seagulls in Namibia Are Attacking Baby Seals

Thursday 10 September 5:30:00 UTC 2015

Lots of beach-goers find seagulls annoying, but usually the only harm they do is snatching away poorly-guarded snacks. On one particular beach, though, scientists have found that some gulls have a much more aggressive and grisly way of getting their meals. [Link]

The Onion » Tech Trends: 6-Year-Old Data Entry Prodigy Already Entertaining Offers From Major Temp Agencies

Thursday 10 September 5:30:00 UTC 2015

He might only be in kindergarten, but data entry prodigy Jeffrey Peters is well on his way to a career of endlessly depressing temp jobs.
[Link]

The Onion » News: Nation’s Marketers Only People Still Trying To Reach Inner-City Child

Thursday 10 September 5:30:00 UTC 2015

KANSAS CITY, MO—With their continued investment in projects aimed at reaching out to the 14-year-old inner-city resident, the nation’s marketers are the last group of people in the country still trying to get through to local child Derek Crawford, sources confirmed Wednesday.As they strive to understand the concerns of the boy and have an influence on the decisions he makes … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: More Cities Providing Bins For Materials That Look Recyclable

Thursday 10 September 5:30:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Praising the initiatives for taking the guesswork out of the often confusing process of household waste disposal, a report released Thursday by the Environmental Protection Agency noted that more cities are providing bins to residents for materials that look like they’re probably recyclable. “We realize it can be difficult to tell whether those grease-stained pizza boxes or cardboard orange juice … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Clinton Apologizes For Email Scandal

Thursday 10 September 5:30:00 UTC 2015

Hillary Clinton said she is sorry for her use of a personal email account to conduct business as Secretary of State, a scandal that is currently under investigation by the FBI and for which she had previously refused to apologize. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Wild Facts About the (Now-Extinct) Tasmanian Tiger

Thursday 10 September 4:22:41 UTC 2015

New facts continue to emerge about the long-gone species from Down Under. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadian maple syrup producers are taking a stand against The Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, which has been called "the OPEC of syrup," as the group regularly bullies producers and buyers [Sappy]

Thursday 10 September 4:15:00 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 540: "Farktography Classic: Red 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 10 September 4:01:00 UTC 2015

Farktography [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Classic Book Covers Come to Life With Subtle GIFs

Thursday 10 September 3:30:00 UTC 2015

These GIFs invite you to see classic covers in a whole new light. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas woman manages to reinvent the term "vaginal discharge" [Plug]

Thursday 10 September 3:02:51 UTC 2015

Plug [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch This Weatherman Casually Say 58-Letter-Long Welsh Town Name

Thursday 10 September 3:00:00 UTC 2015

Warm day in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro~ may be a mouthful to say, but Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndro~ in north west Wales was one of the warmest places in the UK today.And, it was no problem for our Welsh weather presenter Liam Dutton to mention it on today’s weather forecast. Posted by Channel 4 News on Tuesday, September 8, 2015 It got pretty warm in the … [Link]

FMyLife » nah says FML

Thursday 10 September 2:48:37 UTC 2015

Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 September 2:48:36 UTC 2015

Today, I drove across two states to see my brother, who's had a history of heart problems. My mother had sent me a long e-mail saying he was on his death bed and wanted to talk to me to "get his affairs in order." When I arrived worriedly, he was fine. My mother guilt-tripped me to come visit. FML [Link]

FMyLife » A07 says FML

Thursday 10 September 2:48:35 UTC 2015

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Party at the White House! The Time the Roosevelts Threw a Toga Party

Thursday 10 September 2:30:40 UTC 2015

Presidents throw themed parties just like the rest of us—only with better costumes. [Link]

Mental Floss » Developers Are Working On an App That Gets Kids to Eat Their Vegetables

Thursday 10 September 2:00:00 UTC 2015

Eat your greens and earn mobile game points. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Retired tennis star James Blake receives first grand slam courtesy of NYPD [Scary]

Thursday 10 September 1:38:20 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [193 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New $450,000 Range Rover Sentinel SUV can withstand armor piercing bullets and hand grenades, making your drive through Camden, New Jersey relatively worry free [Spiffy]

Thursday 10 September 1:34:19 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » In a Small Alaskan Town, Public Transit Barely Exists and Everyone Travels in Cabs

Thursday 10 September 1:30:00 UTC 2015

In a tiny town in Alaska, taxis have all but replaced personal cars. [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 DIY Facts About Home Depot

Thursday 10 September 1:16:49 UTC 2015

The orange color scheme wasn't the result of market research: They were just re-using circus tents for signs. [Link]

Mental Floss » Waffle House Says It's Sold 1 Billion Waffles in 60 Years

Thursday 10 September 1:00:00 UTC 2015

That's a staggering 16,666,667 waffles per year. [Link]

Mental Floss » Intensely Elaborate Papercraft From Mumbai That Will Brighten Up Your Desk

Thursday 10 September 0:30:00 UTC 2015

Sky Goodies provides paper art that you can fold into fun creations. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bet you can't guess the most disgusting part of an airplane [Scary]

Thursday 10 September 0:20:37 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this forlorn boy [Photoshop]

Thursday 10 September 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Online Tool Shows You the True Size of Any Country

Thursday 10 September 0:00:00 UTC 2015

If you're still confused about which maps to trust, this tool will put things into perspective [Link]

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