John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Kinda strange that, after two years, no forever home can be found for four poor little kittens… I mean, abused human children [Sad]

Sunday 6 September 23:18:37 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Eye-Opening Facts About 'Eyes Wide Shut'

Sunday 6 September 22:30:00 UTC 2015

Stanley Kubrick's final film was as fascinating behind the scenes as it was on the screen. [Link]

FMyLife » earlytermination says FML

Sunday 6 September 21:55:07 UTC 2015

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML [Link]

FMyLife » _guy_j says FML

Sunday 6 September 21:55:06 UTC 2015

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You might be flexible, but can you fit into a suitcase? [Cool]

Sunday 6 September 21:42:38 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why the Film 'Contact' Annoyed Bill Clinton

Sunday 6 September 21:30:00 UTC 2015

The 1997 sci-fi film was a solid hit with audiences, but POTUS had a problem. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Allah fearing Muslims turning into God fearing Christians in Germany. Faith? Or to build a better case for asylum? [Interesting]

Sunday 6 September 20:42:03 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The wages of snowflakery: College students become suicidal upon learning that half of them will finish in the bottom 50% of their class [Obvious]

Sunday 6 September 20:36:46 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's like a Burning Man-themed Mad Lib: The ashes of Timothy Leary were placed on the Altar of the Masturbating Nun in the Totem of Confessions Temple by actress Susan Sarandon [Cool]

Sunday 6 September 20:22:21 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for dumping a bucket of cash on his head [Weird]

Sunday 6 September 20:16:02 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hockey legend [Photoshop]

Sunday 6 September 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia is helping out in Syria. Wait. Scratch that. Russia has secret military base in Syria [Followup]

Sunday 6 September 19:39:22 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's junk mail. There's hate mail. There's snail mail. And now there's web-based mail. Nightmarish, nightmarish web-based mail [Scary]

Sunday 6 September 19:36:35 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (September 6, 2015)

Sunday 6 September 19:30:09 UTC 2015

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M439, September 6, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Muslim clerics complain of the commercialization of the holy city of Mecca during the annual Hajj pilgrimages, but for Pope Francis’s visits to New York, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia in mid-September, shameless street vendors and entrepreneurs already appear to be eclipsing Mecca’s … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Science proves it. Your cat does not love you. Or anything [Amusing]

Sunday 6 September 19:17:22 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Feds raid large Colorado marijuana grow. There are people who exploit the state's permissive policies to set up nationwide pot distribution networks, says DEA Special Agent In Charge Roach [Obvious]

Sunday 6 September 19:02:45 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A quick reminder: Steve Jobs was a Syrian immigrant's child [Interesting]

Sunday 6 September 18:47:40 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're going to be saying Grace a lot over the next couple of weeks. Amen [Scary]

Sunday 6 September 18:35:36 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Arresting Facts About Conjugal Visits

Sunday 6 September 18:30:00 UTC 2015

They're not nearly as common as pop culture might lead you to believe. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Japanese, known for their love of cats, have finally found a way to take over the Internet world: Brainwash kittens with anime [Sappy]

Sunday 6 September 18:04:34 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shaolin monk runs above water for 125 meters. Your move, Jesus [Cool]

Sunday 6 September 17:54:37 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The European refugee crisis? Yup, Obama's fault. Nice to see you again, Mr. Cheney [Facepalm]

Sunday 6 September 17:37:45 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On Pride Day in Calgary, A rainbow-liveried transit bus honours the memory of a bus driver who was the last Canadian ever imprisoned for being gay [Spiffy]

Sunday 6 September 17:08:48 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [54 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ManderDander says FML

Sunday 6 September 16:57:40 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Blue_Heart says FML

Sunday 6 September 16:57:39 UTC 2015

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC veterinarian charged with pawing [Dumbass]

Sunday 6 September 16:42:37 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Long, stiff objects popular on island of Lesbos [Obvious]

Sunday 6 September 16:41:57 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Star Wars Episode IV: 'Laser Moon Awakens'

Sunday 6 September 16:30:00 UTC 2015

Arriving on Tatooine: "We have everything we need here, Far2! All this sand…and bones!" -Creepio [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dumbass prisoners in the states are doing it all wrong. In Ireland, if you're the most dangerous prisoner there, you get the comfy chair and the top-of-the-line treadmill [Asinine]

Sunday 6 September 15:28:29 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Child's remains found in Garfield Park. Odie humanity [Sad]

Sunday 6 September 14:44:01 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Early On-Air Appearances of 13 Late-Night Talk Show Hosts

Sunday 6 September 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Even the most iconic late-night talk show hosts had to learn their craft somewhere. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hit-and-run driver speeds away from car crash, dies mid-getaway [Florida]

Sunday 6 September 14:27:25 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Too bad you can't buy guns at Target. But then again, there's this [Interesting]

Sunday 6 September 14:03:19 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Dolphin-Assisted Birth

Sunday 6 September 14:00:03 UTC 2015

Spiritual healer Dorina Rosin and her partner Maika Suneagle plan to have a "dolphin-assisted" water birth in the ocean, even though experts are warning that this poses many risks. For instance, there's the chance that a great white shark may show up. Also, dolphins in the wild aren't exactly the most docile creatures. They've been known to "toss, beat, and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How did you celebrate Vulture Awareness Day? [Amusing]

Sunday 6 September 13:54:21 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis orders Europe's Catholic Churches to open their doors to Syrian refugees and, y'know, do what Jesus would do [Hero]

Sunday 6 September 13:46:42 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [109 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » the poor man says FML

Sunday 6 September 13:31:20 UTC 2015

Today, at a party that was pretty big, I thought it would be funny to photobomb a photo. In doing so, I slipped over and snapped my arm in. I may now have to get surgery. The good thing is I made a hell of a photobomb. FML [Link]

FMyLife » TheLostCauseFML says FML

Sunday 6 September 13:31:19 UTC 2015

Today, I was eating some super spicy ramen and as per usual I slurped up some noodles. I was greeted with a hot and searing pain to my left eye as the noodle flung spicy liquid right onto my pupil. I'm typing with one eye open. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Highlights from medieval Yelp: "There are three things that no one can advise another person for or against. One is marriage, another is waging war and the third is visiting the Holy Sepulchre, these things often end badly" [Amusing]

Sunday 6 September 13:04:44 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these babby gators [Photoshop]

Sunday 6 September 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Labor of love [CSB]

Sunday 6 September 13:00:00 UTC 2015

CSB [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Discover Why Growing Up on a Farm Helps Protect You from Allergies

Sunday 6 September 12:30:00 UTC 2015

It turns out that breathing in farm dust helps protect against allergies later in life. [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Deadly Labor Disputes

Sunday 6 September 10:30:00 UTC 2015

The history of labor relations is littered with strikes that often cost lives. [Link]

Weird Universe » Selden the Stratosphere Man

Sunday 6 September 10:25:33 UTC 2015




Original article here.


Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For some farking reason a Colorado hunter shot an ultralight pilot flying over his own field [Dumbass]

Sunday 6 September 10:10:45 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [183 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Money Well Spent

Sunday 6 September 10:01:00 UTC 2015

games,ipad,money,Pie Chart I like drawing. Submitted by: Bottycrap Tagged: games , ipad , money , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Or Any Privacy – Keep Out of His Diary!

Sunday 6 September 10:00:58 UTC 2015

diary Harry Potter nose Pie Chart privacy tom riddle voldemort - 4386771968 Graph by: TeamSeverusSnape Tagged: diary , Harry Potter , nose , Pie Chart , privacy , tom riddle , voldemort Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How Good a Song is

Sunday 6 September 10:00:56 UTC 2015

amazing,bullshit,good,Line Graph,mediocre,radio,song,suck Graph by: ovechkin-chucknorris Tagged: amazing , bullshit , good , Line Graph , mediocre , radio , song , suck Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I use my Zippo for

Sunday 6 September 10:00:51 UTC 2015

Graph by: matornot Tagged: cigarette , clack , click , lighter , noise , Pie Chart , smoking , zippo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » He Was a Good Guy All Along!

Sunday 6 September 10:00:48 UTC 2015

Bar Graph deathly hallows fred weasley Harry Potter snape I never doubted you, Severus Graph by: HayleySnape Tagged: Bar Graph , deathly hallows , fred weasley , Harry Potter , snape Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Male Hair Distribution By Age

Sunday 6 September 10:00:44 UTC 2015

LoL by: bbaustin1 Tagged: age , ears , hair , head , men , nostrils Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Great Secret of Adulthood

Sunday 6 September 10:00:43 UTC 2015

Graph by: zagood Tagged: growing up , Line Graph , smart , teenagers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fake and Happy

Sunday 6 September 10:00:41 UTC 2015

copyright gay happy mold Pie Chart smells - 4282573312 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: copyright , gay , happy , mold , Pie Chart , smells Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Keeping My Work Space Dry

Sunday 6 September 10:00:40 UTC 2015

coasters,note,paper,Pie Chart Graph by: tuncdogukan Tagged: coasters , note , paper , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Go See Harry Potter!

Sunday 6 September 10:00:36 UTC 2015

cant-win family movie night movies venn diagram - 4957767936 Speaking of Harry Potter… Graph by: kissmeimmapedo Tagged: cant-win , family movie night , movies , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Like ALL the Things

Sunday 6 September 10:00:34 UTC 2015

all the things best of week facebook like Pie Chart slacktivism - 6122916096 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: all the things , best of week , facebook , like , Pie Chart , slacktivism Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Refresh Available Networks and Pray

Sunday 6 September 10:00:21 UTC 2015

computers internet life Pie Chart Sad truth - 4655531008 Graph by: leomcf Tagged: computers , internet , life , Pie Chart , Sad , truth Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What's in the McRib?

Sunday 6 September 10:00:18 UTC 2015

Graph by: (via Poorly Drawn Lines) Tagged: fast food , food , gross , McDonald's , mcrib Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Kanye West Knows That's Up

Sunday 6 September 10:00:15 UTC 2015

country music kanye west taylor swift venn diagram - 5425287424 Graph by: sawahh33 Tagged: country music , kanye west , taylor swift , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♩ I found my thrill…On Blue Bearry Hill ♩ [Weird]

Sunday 6 September 9:22:15 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Henry VIII was terrible, and Subby means that literally [Interesting]

Sunday 6 September 9:20:44 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Top student becomes suspicious when her school tells her she scored a "zero" on all seven of her final exams [Fail]

Sunday 6 September 9:03:49 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Stevie Wonder on Sesame Street

Sunday 6 September 8:30:00 UTC 2015

In 1973, Stevie Wonder dropped by Sesame Street. [Link]

Futility Closet » Surf’s Up

Sunday 6 September 6:51:02 UTC 2015

Painted on the east side of the Lani Nalu Plaza building in Honolulu, trompe-l’oeil artist John Pugh’s mural Mana Nalu (Power of the Wave) depicts Liliuokalani, the last monarch of the Hawaiian Islands, and surfing pioneer Duke Kahanamoku. Pugh took a year and a half to create the image, working with 14 other artists. The whole scene is painted, including … [Link]

Mental Floss » Olafur Eliasson Launches a Kickstarter Campaign for a Solar-Powered Phone Charger

Sunday 6 September 6:30:00 UTC 2015

With his latest endeavor, the Danish-Icelandic artist is looking to harness the power of the sun to a more practical end: charging cell phones [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Multiple people injured after tree branch snaps in busy New York park [Sappy]

Sunday 6 September 6:28:01 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [54 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 6 September 6:10:05 UTC 2015

Today, while using a portable restroom at the park, I discovered all too late that some very hostile and territorial hornets had made it their home. FML [Link]

FMyLife » I'm a pussy, yeah yeah says FML

Sunday 6 September 6:10:04 UTC 2015

Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 6 September 6:10:03 UTC 2015

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Our host is doing stuff with his family so there won't be a Livingston Stapler Company Presents show tonight. Instead here is an archived show from November 2, 2013 [Cool]

Sunday 6 September 4:00:42 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After 42 days of dodging cars, bears, and wolves in Yellowstone National Park, Jade the Australian shepherd is back with her family. All these geysers are making my eyes water [Cool]

Sunday 6 September 3:39:29 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Megalodon Shark Tooth Discovered in Croatia

Sunday 6 September 2:30:00 UTC 2015

A 14-inch tooth is the remnant of a prehistoric monster fish. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Normally when your car is stolen and the police find it, there are items missing. In this case, though, there were items added [Strange]

Sunday 6 September 2:18:44 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Feel like passive-aggressively retaliating against your landlord? Boston fined thousands of landlords because students left too much trash behind when they moved out [PSA]

Sunday 6 September 1:02:46 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you just hate when you fly in for a bachelor party and no one else can make it…including the groom-to-be? [Fail]

Sunday 6 September 0:59:14 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leaving a $100,000 nest egg to 32 cockatiels is just cuckoo [Strange]

Sunday 6 September 0:41:58 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Making Nemo

Sunday 6 September 0:30:00 UTC 2015

Pixar made talking fish believable by SCUBA diving, studying dead fish, and taking long drives. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this smoky step [Photoshop]

Sunday 6 September 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

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