John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » Anon says FML

Tuesday 25 August 23:40:27 UTC 2015

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news, Michigan: Wayne County's credit rating has just been upgraded to 'junk bond' [Misc]

Tuesday 25 August 23:31:36 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If 19 DUIs aren't enough to permanently suspend a person's license, maybe 20 are [Facepalm]

Tuesday 25 August 23:30:17 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Solitaire Cards That Look Like They Were Ripped Right Off the Computer Screen

Tuesday 25 August 23:30:00 UTC 2015

It seems like we have come full circle with playing cards. [Link]

Weird Universe » Genitalia Vandalism

Tuesday 25 August 23:13:24 UTC 2015


Genitalia vandalism, the funniest phrase I have ever seen, is how they refer to someone going through an Ikea drawing penises on everything, in Denmark. Not the first definition I'd have thought of but it works. Also, no, it was not some kid who was bored while mom shopped. A 31 year old grown man went through an Ikea and … [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Reviews of Bruce Springsteen's 'Born to Run' on its 40th Anniversary

Tuesday 25 August 23:00:00 UTC 2015

"You owe it to yourself to buy this record." [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Title of Li'l Kim's New Hit Single?

Tuesday 25 August 22:54:06 UTC 2015

Female coworker: No way! Don't be squirting me with none of your man crap! Mansfield, Pennsylvania [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You're Fired.

Tuesday 25 August 22:54:05 UTC 2015

Admin #1: Do you have an ETA on that report?
Admin #2: No. I'm not familiar with ETA. Is that the name of a company? Arlington, Virginia Overheard by: You can't make this up [Link]

Overheard In The Office » As It Is, I Sleep Here

Tuesday 25 August 22:54:04 UTC 2015

Male coworker to another: We need to squeeze that in today. Are you doable? Kenilworth, New Jersey [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Gotta Love the Cornell Admissions Process

Tuesday 25 August 22:54:03 UTC 2015

Recruiter on phone: Are you bilingual? (pause) Do you speak a language other than English? Do you speak Spanish? Okay, do you speak English? Park Ave
New York City, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Take What, Exactly? No, Don't Tell Me.

Tuesday 25 August 22:54:02 UTC 2015

Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were looking for an apartment on my street.
Female coworker: Oh, really?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wanna steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my balcony! (demonstrates by thrusting in the air) Take that, Scientology! Melbourne
Australia Overheard by: Giggling [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Identity theft can be committed with the stroke of a pen. Rarely does it involve actual stroke victims [Sick]

Tuesday 25 August 22:52:37 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Thirsty at the Office? Watch This 1951 Ad for Coca-Cola in the Workplace

Tuesday 25 August 22:30:00 UTC 2015

America's favorite soft drink, “Not only at play, but also at work—on the job!” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two questions about this theme park ride: Are women really orgasming on it, and how easy would it be to build one in my backyard? [Giggity]

Tuesday 25 August 22:28:43 UTC 2015

Giggity [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Where Do the Days of the Week Get Their Names?

Tuesday 25 August 22:15:16 UTC 2015

What does Sunday have to do with the sun? What's a Satur or Tues? [Link]

Mental Floss » The Man Who Was Fired From The Beatles

Tuesday 25 August 22:00:00 UTC 2015

50 years later, and Pete Best still isn't entirely sure why he got cut from the greatest band of all time. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're dressing up in a hooded cloak and leaving raw meat at a children's playground in Gastonia, NC, the police would sorta like to talk to you. So would a couple of horror movie directors [Creepy]

Tuesday 25 August 21:57:52 UTC 2015

Creepy [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fourteen arrested in Morocco for trying to recruit for ISIS, violating NBA rules in the off-season [Scary]

Tuesday 25 August 21:40:01 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drought in Poland has led to the discovery of WWII Soviet ghost soldiers [Cool]

Tuesday 25 August 21:35:16 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Planning to bbq some burgers and 'dogs on the grill this holiday weekend? Good, good. Enjoy. And don't worry too much about whether all that tasty charring might be giving you cancer. It's probably not. Probably [Scary]

Tuesday 25 August 21:31:51 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Everything You Need to Know to Get Caught Up With Superman Comics

Tuesday 25 August 21:30:00 UTC 2015

If it’s been a while since you’ve read a Superman comic, now is probably the time to jump back in. Starting two months ago with the 41st issues of the flagship Superman and Action Comics titles, there is a new status quo for the Man of Steel, who has just had his secret identity outed to the public and his … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the most hated car in America is [Fail]

Tuesday 25 August 21:29:18 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Sad songs on tiny violins" on heavy rotation around the world after 24 multi-billionaires saw their fortunes decline by more than $1 billion on Monday [Sad]

Tuesday 25 August 21:29:11 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dr. Heiney arrested for fondling patients [Ironic]

Tuesday 25 August 21:26:50 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If shampoo will not get rid of lice, you can always hire a hit man to kill the homeless person who gave it to you [Florida]

Tuesday 25 August 21:25:47 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thief #1: Steal the Porsche, leave the Nikes. Thief #2: Wait, I want the Nikes [Strange]

Tuesday 25 August 21:20:06 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Witnesses tried to rescue drowning man, but it was either Singh or swim [Sad]

Tuesday 25 August 21:14:01 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [28 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 25 August 21:02:46 UTC 2015

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Crazy Coworkers, Represent!

Tuesday 25 August 20:54:59 UTC 2015

Crazy coworker: I like to think that when we die, we don't go to heaven but we go to our favorite decade. Government Office
Washington, DC [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman sees Trump's face in tub of butter. Jesus, Virgin Mary reportedly inconsolable [Silly]

Tuesday 25 August 20:48:49 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kansas public school takes down portrait of Jesus. "I think Jesus being there didn't hurt a thing," said 22-year-old fur trapper and former student Cody Busby." Wait – FUR TRAPPER? [Strange]

Tuesday 25 August 20:41:49 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NJ ranked #1 for number of residents most likely to be nude at home. Now consider what goes on behind closed doors at the governor's mansion and – oh, is that your lunch again? [Scary]

Tuesday 25 August 20:41:48 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man finds out that having his penis injected with fix-a-flat will not improve his love life [Florida]

Tuesday 25 August 20:41:47 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You Might Not Know About ‘The Blue Boy’

Tuesday 25 August 20:40:57 UTC 2015

The Blue Boy has been using his defiant stare and unique fashion sense to transfix viewers for centuries. But even art fans may not know the story of Thomas Gainsborough’s most iconic work is nearly as rich as the fabric of his subject’s blue britches. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Explaining Philosophy With Doughnuts

Tuesday 25 August 20:40:55 UTC 2015

Schools of philosophy can get confusing, unless you explain them all with doughnuts. * This team of people put together a human Rube Goldberg trick shot slam dunk. I wonder how many takes they needed for this. * If a work of art is worth 1.5 million dollars, you should make sure it isn’t so accessible that a distracted child … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this graphed notepad [Photoshop]

Tuesday 25 August 20:30:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 1936 Map of the Dogs of All Nations

Tuesday 25 August 20:30:00 UTC 2015

Click to enlarge, via David Rumsey Map Collection This 1936 map by E. Frantz and published by Judy Publishing Company (then the Publishers of Dog World Magazine) shows the geographical distribution of 164 of the world's dog breeds, at the time, all the "known pure breeds of dog on the face of the earth." (The American Kennel Club now lists … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After five year investigation, Feds are able to determine that "Rentboy.com" is actually a front for gay prostitution [Facepalm]

Tuesday 25 August 20:28:30 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [68 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 25 August 20:19:08 UTC 2015

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a fourteen-year-old girl at a lemonade stand, don't try to convince her to get in your van, you sick bastard [Sick]

Tuesday 25 August 20:08:32 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington State would like you to know that it's Free Parks day. Vehicle access is free provided you don't block the fire trucks [Facepalm]

Tuesday 25 August 20:03:33 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » There Is a Video Game Where You Just Take Care of Succulents

Tuesday 25 August 20:00:00 UTC 2015

Viridi is sort of like a Tamagotchi for gardening. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 6 financial milestones to hit while you're in your 30s to ensure you're well prepared for the future. Or, 6 reasons why you're going to be living in a refrigerator box when you're 60 [Unlikely]

Tuesday 25 August 19:57:41 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother groped in park in sixth recent attack. She really should avoid that park [Strange]

Tuesday 25 August 19:39:25 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The World’s Top 20 Languages—And The Words English Has Borrowed From Them

Tuesday 25 August 19:30:00 UTC 2015

The most-spoken languages and their influences on English. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is it over for the "man bun"? [Silly]

Tuesday 25 August 19:24:34 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Norwegian man finally finds car after having forgotten where he parked it three weeks ago. Here's hoping he hasn't lost his keys [Strange]

Tuesday 25 August 19:22:38 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 25 August 19:21:50 UTC 2015

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder what Santa Claus does in the off-season? Apparently, it involves getting drunk and starting fights with security guards [Florida]

Tuesday 25 August 19:21:36 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [10 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: How Trump Continues To Lead The Polls

Tuesday 25 August 19:10:00 UTC 2015

Recent polls indicate that, despite public outcry against his incendiary comments on women and minorities, Donald Trump is still the leading Republican candidate. Here are some reasons Trump stays so popular with his supporters:Highly relatable lack of qualifications for holding government office
Americans’ appreciation for classic underdog story of man who started with only several hundred million dollars and went on …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woodchucks are going after senior citizens [PSA]

Tuesday 25 August 19:07:31 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you were dumb enough to sign up for your Ashley Madison account using your ".gov" email address, you are about to be in a world of hurt [Followup]

Tuesday 25 August 19:05:26 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What It's Like To Record the Audiobook Version of 'Infinite Jest'

Tuesday 25 August 19:00:00 UTC 2015

There's a tiny fellowship of people who know how difficult it is to sit in a room and read 'Infinite Jest' out loud. [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Fraternity Penalized For Offensive Banners

Tuesday 25 August 19:00:00 UTC 2015

Old Dominion University has suspended its Sigma Nu chapter after the fraternity hung banners from their house reading “Freshman Daughter Drop Off” with an arrow pointing toward the front door, as well as other sexually suggestive phrases, prompting widespread outrage on social media. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » The Real-Life Operation That Works Like 'Operation'

Tuesday 25 August 18:30:00 UTC 2015

If a surgeon gets too close to delicate nerves in the throat, an alarm goes off. (But no one's nose lights up.) [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Single, Unemployed Mother Leeching Off Government

Tuesday 25 August 18:29:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Taking advantage of the system and giving nothing back in return, local unemployed, single mother Mei Xiang reportedly gave birth to two more children out of wedlock this week and continued to pathetically leech off the government. “This lazy freeloader was already depending on the government to take care of her other kids, and then she has the nerve to … [Link]

Futility Closet » Too Far

Tuesday 25 August 18:27:19 UTC 2015

“I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the one who sold it.” — Will Rogers Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Professor Obvious says: adding trees to a neighborhood makes it a healthier place to live [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 18:12:32 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Get to Know the Chicago-Style Hot Dog

Tuesday 25 August 18:00:00 UTC 2015

Get to know the fussy, controversial, and utterly delicious Windy City specialty. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Murica, the land where you can deep-fry just about anything [Murica]

Tuesday 25 August 17:59:43 UTC 2015

Murica [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Cool Facts About Dippin’ Dots

Tuesday 25 August 17:30:00 UTC 2015

It's the ice cream of the future! [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Six-Letter Capitals of the US

Tuesday 25 August 17:30:00 UTC 2015

Take the quiz! [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of Ill-Advised Campus Fads

Tuesday 25 August 17:00:00 UTC 2015

Throughout the years there's been some very stupid tricks on some very well-regarded campuses. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two men arrested for planning a drone strike on a Maryland state prison [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 August 16:57:33 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » catlady says FML

Tuesday 25 August 16:46:44 UTC 2015

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know all those amazingly clever, snark-filled and witty retorts you use to take down telemarketers and robo-callers when they dare to call you? Yeah, you're only making them stronger [Fail]

Tuesday 25 August 16:42:25 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [203 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Incoming Duke freshman can't read [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 16:40:30 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [149 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Pig's milk cheese is tasty, but it won't make you rich." Well, not with that attitude it won't [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 August 16:32:26 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [28 comments] [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Area Man Incapable Of Making Plans Without Excitedly Rubbing Palms Together

Tuesday 25 August 16:30:00 UTC 2015

GOLDEN, CO—Saying he couldn’t even begin to consider options before him without performing the gesture, friends of local man Aaron Givens told reporters Thursday that he is entirely incapable of making any plans without excitedly rubbing his palms together. “Whenever anyone suggests going out to a restaurant and maybe seeing a movie on a Friday night, you definitely know it’s … [Link]

FMyLife » Animeislyfe says FML

Tuesday 25 August 16:26:53 UTC 2015

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eh, it was worth a try [Followup]

Tuesday 25 August 16:03:42 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [302 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Inspector Clouseau has been reincarnated as a teenage version of Cato [Dumbass]

Tuesday 25 August 15:33:14 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [17 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » SilentSin says FML

Tuesday 25 August 15:32:01 UTC 2015

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Abandoned Suitcases Reveal Private Lives of Insane Asylum Patients

Tuesday 25 August 15:29:16 UTC 2015

If you were committed to a psychiatric institution, unsure if you’d ever return to the life you knew before, what would you take with you? [Link]

Mental Floss » When Work Drives You Mad: Tales from the Deadly "Loony Gas" Building

Tuesday 25 August 15:29:15 UTC 2015

Work driving you crazy? Try telling that to workers at Standard Oil Refinery's TEL facility. [Link]

Mental Floss » Patti Lyle Collins, Super-Sleuth of the Dead Letter Office

Tuesday 25 August 15:29:14 UTC 2015

Today the lost and found department of the United States Postal Service is called the Mail Recovery Center, which isn’t a very evocative name. But it used to be called the Dead Letter Office, and at the turn of the last century, a widow named Patti Lyle Collins was its star employee. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: House M.D.

Tuesday 25 August 15:29:09 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » One-star Yelp reviews of America's National Parks will have you rolling in the campground fire [Amusing]

Tuesday 25 August 15:13:14 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [275 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Although the massive wildfire in Washington is ravaging the landscape, the good news is that it's giving Montana, North and South Dakota, Minnesota, and Wisconsin some killer sunsets [Spiffy]

Tuesday 25 August 15:11:40 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Spirited Facts About 'Bring It On'

Tuesday 25 August 15:00:00 UTC 2015

Dust off your spirit fingers. "The 'Citizen Kane' of cheerleader movies" is turning 15. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Antibacterial cleaning wipes can spread deadly bacteria [Ironic]

Tuesday 25 August 14:41:55 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The idea, if you're an air traffic controller dealing with a pilot in distress, is to direct the troubled plane to a runway that actually exists [Fail]

Tuesday 25 August 14:30:52 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Does the Airplane Oxygen Mask Have a Bag That “May Not Inflate”?

Tuesday 25 August 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Why tell us, “although the bag on the oxygen mask may not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask”? [Link]

FMyLife » CSXIV says FML

Tuesday 25 August 14:23:38 UTC 2015

Today, I hit one of my coworker's car while backing out. I work at a law firm. FML [Link]

The Onion » Horoscope: Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 25, 2015

Tuesday 25 August 14:17:00 UTC 2015


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just remember, if you are tempted to enter "staff member farked up as usual" on to a client's discount receipt, just make sure you do it in a country with a sense of humor [Amusing]

Tuesday 25 August 14:12:43 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Six rules for shopping at hipster grocer Trader Joe's. Because World Market, Whole Foods, and Meijer are all too mainstream [Ironic]

Tuesday 25 August 14:03:56 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans stocking up before a weapons ban goes into place that would infringe their Second Amendment rights. Specifically, flamethrowers [Followup]

Tuesday 25 August 14:02:28 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When the levee breaks, Sacramento you gotta move [Scary]

Tuesday 25 August 13:24:54 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lion near where Cecil lives decides not to wait for the inevitable, attacks and kills guide before he can be killed. Begun the safari wars have [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 August 13:01:26 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this suspended spacecraft [Photoshop]

Tuesday 25 August 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Famous Authors and Their Unfinished Manuscripts

Tuesday 25 August 13:00:00 UTC 2015

What do we do when an author dies with their work unfinished? Do we let it molder in vaults, stash it away in archives, or publish it for all the world to see—even if that’s not what the author intended? [Link]

FMyLife » Szaszaspasz says FML

Tuesday 25 August 12:26:53 UTC 2015

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now that we've celebrated and decorated the American heroes of the French rail attack, we'd like to remind you to be afraid. Be very afraid [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 11:59:46 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [86 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » wellthen says FML

Tuesday 25 August 11:56:50 UTC 2015

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Men of Mortuaries

Tuesday 25 August 11:47:47 UTC 2015

Following up on yesterday's post about the sexy mortuary calendar from 1948, here's a more recent example of the same kind of thing, but featuring sexy "men of mortuaries."

It was released as a one-off thing in 2008 in order to raise money for a breast cancer charity.

Sociological Images posted an article about how the calendar could be seen … [Link]

Mental Floss » House M.D.

Tuesday 25 August 11:45:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » US Army SOCOM publishes white paper detailing project to strap an ACME rocket to the back of a K-9 unit wardog to transport it to combat faster [Silly]

Tuesday 25 August 11:43:04 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Father Pierre Monastery Herbs

Tuesday 25 August 11:39:53 UTC 2015

Original ad.

I wish I could find a picture on the internet of the packaging for this product. Or learn who the legendary Father Pierre was. Alas, even the mighty Web does not have the answer to everything.

But I did find out the ingredients.

As to the recipe's effectiveness, I cannot attest.

Apparently, this current-day Russian product also known … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia shuts down Wikipedia, plan on replacing it with a state-sponsored version. You know, so people don't get their facts about Russia wrong [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 11:28:55 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You want a tip after I had to wait an hour for my order? LOL [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 11:17:05 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [325 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Guide to Dog Body Language

Tuesday 25 August 11:00:00 UTC 2015

Havahart Wireless has made this helpful infographic to give us a general gist of what our pets are trying to tell us. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark's favorite computer security expert: The Ashley Madison hack was an inside job done by a lone-wolf female employee with an axe to grind [Followup]

Tuesday 25 August 10:48:55 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman stopped by security at Beijing Airport, makes Farkers everywhere proud [Amusing]

Tuesday 25 August 10:39:30 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 31-year old Danish man convicted for drawing dozens of small penises on walls and display furniture at local IKEA. Pænis [Silly]

Tuesday 25 August 10:38:51 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Breaking the Fourth Wall

Tuesday 25 August 10:00:43 UTC 2015

Link! Get your fresh links right here! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a move that Ray Charles could see coming, at least five lawsuits seeking class action status have been filed against Ashley Madison totaling over half a billion dollars [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 9:42:07 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [77 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 25 August 9:20:11 UTC 2015

Bar Graph The Brady Bunch The Solar System - 3981399296 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , The Brady Bunch , The Solar System Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How big people want objects to be

Tuesday 25 August 9:20:07 UTC 2015

Graph by: P3nguinzrul3Z Tagged: bar graphs , big , car , computer , huge , large , microscopic , phone , small , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Complicated

Tuesday 25 August 9:20:00 UTC 2015

other love life complicated normal dating - 6822906880 Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: other , love life , complicated , normal , dating Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Prepare For Trouble, and Make It Stupid

Tuesday 25 August 9:19:57 UTC 2015

Pie Chart,Pokémon,prepare for trouble,puns,Team Rocket Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , Pokémon , prepare for trouble , puns , Team Rocket Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Healthiness of food vs. cost of food

Tuesday 25 August 9:19:45 UTC 2015

Graph by: Aqp Tagged: affordable , cost , debt , doctor , expensive , food , free , healthiness , hurt , kill , Line Graph , lose , no , weight Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bonus Content!

Tuesday 25 August 9:19:39 UTC 2015

bonus Pie Chart self referential vote page - 5626687488 Graph by: SirOwnzor Tagged: bonus , Pie Chart , self referential , vote page Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Might Be Time for New Friends

Tuesday 25 August 9:19:29 UTC 2015

People who make fun of you People who laugh when you get hurt The Truth About Friends Aka: Enemies Aka: Enemies BEST FRIENDS Graph by: squirrelqueen Tagged: best friends , enemies , friends , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, a definitive ranking of the best and worst series finales OF ALL TIME. I've got some Bad News for you Dexter and Firefly fans out there. Not you, though, Breaking Bad fans, you're cool [Spiffy]

Tuesday 25 August 9:16:04 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [157 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can buy gas for under $2 a gallon in at least 12 states right now …. and counting [Followup]

Tuesday 25 August 8:52:57 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In Los Angeles, unlicensed marijuana stores pop up like weeds [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 8:51:10 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Pothole in Detroit road. Kinda news: It's huge, and has been there for years. Fark: Neighbors turn it into a fishing hole [Cool]

Tuesday 25 August 8:32:05 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aging baby boomers get another reboot: the sippy cup [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 August 8:23:06 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Two Men Claim to Have Found a Missing Nazi Train Full of Treasure

Tuesday 25 August 8:00:00 UTC 2015

But they're not revealing its location until the Polish government agrees to hand over a finder's fee. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The stock market crash is great news for Walmart [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 7:04:00 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [42 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 25 August 6:36:04 UTC 2015

Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 25 August 6:36:03 UTC 2015

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror and she quickly excused herself. That was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Pop Culture Syllabus: CDs

Tuesday 25 August 6:35:10 UTC 2015

Looking back at the days when the disc was king. [Link]

Futility Closet » Nobody Home

Tuesday 25 August 6:31:57 UTC 2015

A puzzle by S. Sefibekov: Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet set out to visit one another. They leave their houses at the same time and walk along the same road. But Piglet is absorbed in counting the birds overhead, and Winnie-the-Pooh is composing a new “hum,” so they pass one another without noticing. One minute after the meeting, Winnie-the-Pooh is at Piglet’s … [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Things You Might Not Know About the Sears/Willis Tower

Tuesday 25 August 6:30:00 UTC 2015

From the moment it opened as the world’s tallest building in 1973, the building formerly known as the Sears Tower has captured the imaginations of visitors. Even if you’ve stepped out onto the transparent Skydeck, here are a few things you may not know about the towering building. 1. THE SEARS TOWER YOU’VE HEARD OF WAS ACTUALLY NOT THE FIRST. … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Patients Lose More Weight With Doctor Support

Tuesday 25 August 5:30:00 UTC 2015

According to a two-year study on obese patients, those with doctors they appraised as helpful and supportive lost an average of twice as much weight as subjects who rated their physicians lower, further evidence that effective doctor-patient relationships are driven by communication and collaboration. What do you think?
[Link]

The Onion » News: Scientists Confident Artificially Intelligent Machines Can Be Programmed To Be Lenient Slave Masters

Tuesday 25 August 5:30:00 UTC 2015

PALO ALTO, CA—Asserting that the utmost precaution was being taken to safeguard the future of humanity, leading scientists and engineers said Tuesday that they were confident in their ability to program artificially intelligent machines to be lenient slave masters.At a press conference, members of the Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence sought to reassure critics that humans could create … [Link]

The Onion » Commentary: Unfortunately, Nobody Met Our Standards To Be September’s ‘Penthouse’ Pet

Tuesday 25 August 5:30:00 UTC 2015

In the publishing business, editorial standards are everything, and as one of the world’s most venerable men’s magazines, Penthouse takes the quality of its work very seriously. We would never abuse our readers’ trust by running a piece that doesn’t live up to the ideals upon which this periodical was founded, even if that means making the unprecedented decision not … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Q-Tips Introduces New Multi-Speed Electric Ear Swab

Tuesday 25 August 5:30:00 UTC 2015

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ—Saying the product will allow for more efficient and thorough cleaning, representatives from the Unilever corporation announced Tuesday the addition of a multi-function electric ear swab to its longstanding Q-tips line. “The three-speed vibrating cotton tip of the new E-Swab is great for everyday cleaning or for breaking up stubborn earwax buildup,” Unilever spokesman Tim Werner said at … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Ice Cream Truck Driver Going To Let These Kids Sweat A Little Bit Before Stopping

Tuesday 25 August 5:30:00 UTC 2015

MILWAUKEE—Admitting that he’ll never get tired of looking in his rearview mirror and seeing their little legs going at full speed as they struggle to catch up to him, local ice cream truck driver Derek Kenney said that he once again planned on making the children on Maple Avenue sweat it out a little bit before stopping his vehicle. “Of … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One in five senior citizens is consuming an unsafe level of alcohol, yelling at clouds, telling kids to get off their lawns [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 August 4:31:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New swimming school in Toronto offers lessons for mermaids. Instructors are paid scale [Silly]

Tuesday 25 August 3:27:56 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Hunt For a 21st Century Treasure Chest

Tuesday 25 August 3:00:00 UTC 2015

Millionaire Forrest Fenn hid a treasure chest in the Rocky Mountains five years ago. It's still out there, despite thousands of attempts to recover it. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists reprogram cancer cells back to "normal". Why stop there? Turn that lymphoma into laser-beam eyes [Interesting]

Tuesday 25 August 2:55:02 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 'Star Trek' Movie That Nearly Starred Eddie Murphy

Tuesday 25 August 2:30:00 UTC 2015

Murphy once delayed a million-dollar deal to finish watching an episode of the series. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Interactive time-lapse shows how the world was blackened with panic over the "Black Monday" market crash [Followup]

Tuesday 25 August 2:06:08 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vintage tank claims one more casualty more than 70 years after it was made [Fail]

Tuesday 25 August 2:05:00 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Make Progress in Their Quest for a Universal Flu Vaccine

Tuesday 25 August 1:49:17 UTC 2015

Two research groups successfully created vaccines with broad protection against different flu strains in mice, ferrets, and monkeys. [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Shipwrecks You Can Visit

Tuesday 25 August 1:49:16 UTC 2015

Eerie. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » War, HUH, what is it good for? A cleaner atmosphere [Cool]

Tuesday 25 August 1:30:58 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Walls of This Museum Have Been Transformed By Street Artists

Tuesday 25 August 1:30:00 UTC 2015

The Long Beach Museum of Art is bringing the city indoors. [Link]

Mental Floss » This Machine Shoots Out Cotton Candy at 60 Miles an Hour

Tuesday 25 August 1:00:00 UTC 2015

The cotton candy line at the fair is about to go a lot faster. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 104-year-old dandy doesn't mind if you call him a hipster with his homburg hat, round glasses, rolled-up jeans, bow tie and man-satchel. "I've always dressed like this" [Cool]

Tuesday 25 August 0:56:28 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Netflix to launch in Japan which can only mean that Orange Is The New Tentacle [Obvious]

Tuesday 25 August 0:08:21 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dirty dancing [Photoshop]

Tuesday 25 August 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

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