Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (August 16, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M436, August 16, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
“The worshipful treatment of pets may be the thing that unites all Americans,” wrote an Atlantic Magazine blogger in July, describing the under-construction luxury terminal for animals at New York’s JFK airport. The “ARK” will offer shower stalls for traveling horses, “conjugal … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. I slipped my hand down her underwear, only to discover upon retracting my hand that she doesn't know how to wipe her own arse properly. I had to either focus on cumming, or freak out over my shit-covered fingers. I did not cum. FML [Link]
FMyLife » KeysToHappiness says FML
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday, when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How do you de-oil a polar bear? Very carefully [Unlikely]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Sneak Peek Behind the Scenes of 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens'
Star Wars fans may have to wait until December to see 'The Force Awakens' in theaters. But here are X [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Spice use plagues Anchorage. I blame the Fremen [Stupid]
[link] [130 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Farmer's Almanac predicts a long, cold winter for the United States this year. Better bundle up now [Murica]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you are going to start a fight in a Chuck E. Cheese, it's probably best not to leave your picture behind in the photo booth [Facepalm]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Pee-wee Herman's Anti-Crack PSA
Plus Ally Sheedy, Bette Midler, Clint Eastwood, Olivia Newton-John, and Nancy Reagan. [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Tuition-Free Colleges
For those who want to avoid being saddled with huge student loan debt, here are six schools that offer tuition-free educations. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can buy this British castle for the price of a council flat, but yeah, there's a catch [Interesting]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Discarded celebrity waxworks find new lives in Ohio's BibleWalk museum. Come for John Travolta as King Solomon, make a run for the exit when you get to Tom Cruise as Jesus. Special Fark Bonus: museum director's hairdo [Amusing]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » To the moon Alice, to the moon [Amusing]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "No one stared at my breasts. No one grabbed my ass. No one licked their lips, called my baby, told me to smile, to fix my hair, be better, look prettier, or to come home with them" [Interesting]
[link] [268 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You had ONE job [Fail]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this spitter [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Unusual Facts About ‘The Usual Suspects’
The twisty criminal caper arrived in theaters 20 years ago today. [Link]
FMyLife » IceWrath says FML
Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is there anything more terrifying than being chased by a koala that only wants a hug? (pics, video) [Amusing]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Listen to the recording that proves MH17 was destroyed by the CIA – at least according to the Russians [Followup]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I don't care who you are. That sign is funny" [Amusing]
[link] [168 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Giant Gummy Bear + Liquid Nitrogen + Shotgun = Candy Carnage
"What did the gummy bear ever do to you?!" [Link]
Mental Floss » America's Shrewdest Con Man: The "Christian Kid"
Cheating you out of your life savings? Sure. Drinking? Out of the question. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "While there's no doubt Tinder has contributed to today's throwaway dating culture, it can't solely be blamed for it. The fact that twentysomething men want to sleep around is hardly Tinder's fault" [Obvious]
[link] [150 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » fire starter says FML
Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Parents are being warned to be vigilant for children and teenagers visiting rogue tattooists and buying kits over the internet as part of a celebrity-fueled craze for 'inking'" [Stupid]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » MikaykayUnicorn says FML
Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Louisville
There's a lot more to this city of 750,000 than horses and bourbon. [Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Fantastic Facts About 'The NeverEnding Story'
The movie adaptation of German writer Michael Ende's 1979 fantasy novel The Neverending Story (Die unendliche Geschichte) was released during that special era in the 1980s when a PG rating almost certainly meant nightmares for children under the age of 10 (see: Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal). But that didn't stop Wolfgang Petersen's magical adventure story from becoming a bona … [Link]
FMyLife » Tarlachia says FML
Today, my vehicle's transmission shifter moves freely without shifting gears. I'm stuck in park, in a parking lot, unable to even put it into neutral to push the vehicle out of the way of several parked cars. The old lady screaming at me just outside my door doesn't understand logic either. FML [Link]
FMyLife » someboody says FML
Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I can understand that it can happen anywhere, but it seems to happen a lot at Walmart. It needs to stop." Good luck with that [Unlikely]
[link] [211 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch: Building a Hut from Scratch
This guy built a rad hut complete with a chimney, bed, walls, the whole deal–from scratch. More like this, please. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » On this day in 1977, Elvis left the building forever … or did he? [dramatic music stinger] [Sad]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this smoky surprise-attack [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Public Nudity [CSB]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Brief History of Rum—and 11 Kinds You Should be Drinking
Let’s talk about rum—but first we need to discuss garbage. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In response to US-South Korea military exercises, North Korea threatens to bomb the hell out of the ocean a few miles off their own coast [Unlikely]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Near-naked women angering tourists with their near-nakedness (Not safe for work) [Giggity]
[link] [153 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Sea Captain’s Hallucination
Original article here. [Link]
Weird Universe » The Dare Killer, 1933
Oscar Hickey, Hazel Short, Vernon Tucker, and Maxine Scott had all been at a dance, after which they drove home together. This involved a lot of drinking and some gun play in which they were "amusing themselves by playing with a revolver, firing occasional shots as they sped along the concrete slab."
While stopping at a gas station, Tucker and … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "First. Safest. Best." is the motto of the paramilitary group whose instructor was critically injured by shrapnel from an exploding target [Murica]
[link] [155 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Indonesian plane goes missing with 54 people on board. CNN placed on red alert, all leaves cancelled, all employees ordered to report for duty immediately [News]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch: Competitive Finch Singing
Male finches naturally compete, through song, with each other. These New York dudes bring their birds to sing-offs! [Link]
FMyLife » bruised says FML
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML [Link]
GraphJam » No Pain, No Gain
Graph by: milzamo Tagged: chubby , Pie Chart , thinspiration , weight , weight loss Share on Facebook [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML [Link]
FMyLife » MissyPants says FML
Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML [Link]
GraphJam » Hypothetically Date That Is
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: dating , fish in the sea , infographic , judgement call Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » And No Prize!?
Graph by: TheManWhoShearsLlamas Tagged: cereal , mess , Pie Chart , pouring , prize , slowly Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Chips of Justice
Graph by: (via thefrogman) Tagged: chips , justice , Lays , pringles , TV Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Average 12-year-old's vocabulary
Graph by: bagels4321 Tagged: conversation , epic , FAIL , legitimate , like , mom , Pie Chart , pre-teens , um , vocabulary , win , youth Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » My Cooking
Graph by: Villiers Tagged: cooking , eat , eating , food , How To , know , tired , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » But Somehow Bandana Is the Same
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: banana , english , Evanescence , japanese , languages , secret onion rings , spanish , spreadsheet , that face , バナナ Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » I Will Always Love You, Drugs
Graph by: Stevego Tagged: Bar Graph , celeb , OD , whitney houston Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » What Everything Looks Like
Graph by: notsjhartsfield Tagged: costume , everything , gollum , lady gaga , like , looks , Lord of the Rings , sloth , the goonies , totallylookslike.com Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » A Brief History of Santa
Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: christmas , history , saint nicholas , santa , Video Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Classic: The Hips Aren't Hip
Graph by: Norwegia Tagged: best of week , face , humiliating , tattoos Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Satisfaction Never Smelled So Sweet
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bathroom humor , Pie Chart , pooping , work Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Why Young Children REALLY Want Toys
LoL by: DanniDrummer Tagged: break , destroy , fun , kids , toys Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » We're Number One!
Graph by: (via Upworthy) Tagged: number one , population , prisons , united states , world Share on Facebook [Link]
Mental Floss » Driving the Lower 48 States in 124 Hours
Drive the lower 48 states 4,000 times faster than real time. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I'm sorry, are you finding the 20,000 ton pile of putrid, rat-infested industrial and domestic waste that spontaneously combusts on a weekly basis a problem?" [Sick]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Civil Rights legend Julian Bond has died [News]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
By Ivan Pavlovich Ropet. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pot is once again at the center of yet more senseless violence [Scary]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If the ape at the zoo calmly tells you to mind your own business, don't say you weren't warned [Interesting]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Our host is feeling a bit under the weather so he won't be in the studio tonight. Instead here is an archived Livingston Stapler Company Presents show from May 26, 2012 for you to listen to [Spiffy]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Ceiling cat. New hotness: Cat door bear [Amusing]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man in critical condition after fall from high-rise apartment building in Chicago. If only there were a device which could slow a fall… oh, yeah, he was already wearing a parachute [Sad]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple arrested for using stolen credit card info to buy a bird. Police consider them a flight risk [Stupid]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » simugeek says FML
Today, my mother gave me hell for my "video game addiction". The "game" in question? A professional flight simulator program that I'm using to complement my flight school lessons. FML [Link]
FMyLife » suuoerwholock says FML
Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML [Link]
FMyLife » BrandNewLemon says FML
Today, I financed my first car. I also made my first call to AAA when it broke down. It barely had any miles on it and I wasn't even home yet. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ferguson police officer describes spending his "Michael Brown bonus," surprised to find people have a problem with this [Dumbass]
[link] [144 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » China denies it made a nearly identical copy of Chicago's "Bean" sculpture, claiming that the original version reflects the sky, while theirs reflects the ground [Silly]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: Always look for the small print that says there are hundreds of dead Spanish influenza victims buried there when buying property [Weird]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this unsupported cyclist [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
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