John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Mental Floss » 15 Kurt Vonnegut Quotes About Writers and Writing

Saturday 15 August 23:45:00 UTC 2015

His insights into writing were especially valuable, sage, and practical. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So much fun, it will make you kiss your sister [Cool]

Saturday 15 August 23:30:40 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh yeah? I use a fork [Interesting]

Saturday 15 August 23:25:13 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Creative Examples of Fast Food Packaging (Both Real and Imagined)

Saturday 15 August 22:45:00 UTC 2015

Sometimes the packaging is even better than the food. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap

Saturday 15 August 22:34:45 UTC 2015

One VP to another: Well, it was a dumb thing to do. But it wasn’t the first dumb thing we’ve done. 1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois Overheard by: Pirate Wench [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Translucent

Saturday 15 August 22:34:42 UTC 2015

Editor: His name is Kobe.
Office manager: Kobe? Is he white?
Editor: Yes.
Office manager: Pure white? Delray Beach, Florida Overheard by: Lois Lane [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Some Adages Just Don’t Translate to English Very Well

Saturday 15 August 22:34:41 UTC 2015

Peon: It still wouldn’t look like soup to me, even if the dog was swirly.143 South Street
Boston, Massachusetts [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Can Hear the Gospel Singing All the Way Down the Hall

Saturday 15 August 22:34:40 UTC 2015

Coworker returning from restroom: There's joy in the men's room.Macon, Georgia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You Want a Bite?

Saturday 15 August 22:34:39 UTC 2015

Female coworker: Dude. What’s with the mutton chops?Male coworker: Just keepin’ it awesome, babe.Wausau, Wisconsin [Link]

Overheard In The Office » From the American Gladiators Porno

Saturday 15 August 22:34:38 UTC 2015

Office clerk #1: Where did you put the batteries? Office clerk #2: They go right here on the pole. Office clerk #1: Wow! I like the long pole…look at it squirt!Columbus Avenue
Lebanon, OhioOverheard by: Did I hear that right? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alligator hunting season begins in Fark's favorite state today; stories about idiots getting attacked by gators also begins today [Florida]

Saturday 15 August 22:15:41 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spoiled fat Asian kid threatens to bust up neighbor's house over loud stereo and he really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, means it this time

Saturday 15 August 22:15:37 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » East coast ATC servers starting Windows 10 upgrade [Fail]

Saturday 15 August 22:12:39 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: "Bill Gates' poop water machine gets a test run". Difficulty: CNN [Sick]

Saturday 15 August 21:48:41 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Groovy Science Music Videos

Saturday 15 August 21:45:00 UTC 2015

When science and music meet, it's an educational duet. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bailout will keep Greece afloat. For now [Interesting]

Saturday 15 August 21:41:43 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tour guides outraged that Savannah, GA requires them to pass a history test, say it interferes with their ability to show visitors where Elvis and Abe Lincoln signed the Magna Carta [Amusing]

Saturday 15 August 21:30:40 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Danville Parks and Recreation would like to remind you: If you are taking your five foot boa constructor for a swim, please have it on a leash. Thank You [Stupid]

Saturday 15 August 21:08:58 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [21 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Tyrez says FML

Saturday 15 August 21:07:04 UTC 2015

Today, my stepbrother's attempt at making a snack resulted in the microwave catching on fire and the everlasting smell of burnt pizza rolls. FML [Link]

FMyLife » maybe if i was paid like them i would says FML

Saturday 15 August 21:07:03 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Historic Diseases that Competed with Bubonic Plague

Saturday 15 August 21:06:20 UTC 2015

The Great Plague of 1665 killed about 100,000 Londoners, but it wasn't the only cause of death. Winde, quinsie, head mould shot, and livergrown all took their toll too. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One of the last remaining unique bits of '70s New York City to become yet another chain drug store, or coffee shop, or whatever. Yeah, cultural homogenization [Sad]

Saturday 15 August 20:44:45 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Kraken Facts and Myths to Unleash In Conversation

Saturday 15 August 20:15:00 UTC 2015

There once was a time when uttering the name Kraken sent chills down a mariner’s spine. The legendary beast was known for dragging whole ships down into the watery depths of Davy Jones’s Locker. Today we see the monster largely as fiction, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have ties to reality. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this relaxation time [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 August 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: Airport security confiscates a gun, claiming it poses a security risk. News: From a toddler. Fark: It was a toy 'Minion Fart Gun' [Interesting]

Saturday 15 August 19:37:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Centuries-Old Board Games

Saturday 15 August 19:15:00 UTC 2015

Who wants to play Little Dickey Birds? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » They just don't make criminals like they used to [Fail]

Saturday 15 August 18:21:38 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Mold-Breaking Heiresses You Should Know

Saturday 15 August 18:15:00 UTC 2015

Movies and reality shows tend to show heiresses as scandal-attracting airhead socialites living the high life without a care. But for the historical heiresses below, growing up in luxury did not squelch their thirst for adventure, advocacy, or shattering the glass ceiling. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man avoids prison in online extortion scheme because none of his victims were willing to admit under oath to sending naked pictures to a "13-year-old girl" [Awkward]

Saturday 15 August 17:56:43 UTC 2015

Awkward [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Secret Service is hiring 1,100 new staff members. Their hiring standards are perfect for anyone with a high school diploma and out-of-control libido [PSA]

Saturday 15 August 17:37:05 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A man previously dubbed the 'world's most annoying husband' has been kicked out by his long-suffering wife after he tattooed a gigantic penis on his own leg" [Dumbass]

Saturday 15 August 17:32:49 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Gorgeous Examples of the Lost Art of Blackboard Sketching

Saturday 15 August 17:15:00 UTC 2015

Frederik Whitney showed teachers how to bring lessons to life, using just a blackboard and some chalk. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Mr. Trump, we don't allow helicopters at the Iowa State Fair." "No problem. We'll just park it across from your fair and give free rides to the kiddies" [Amusing]

Saturday 15 August 17:06:44 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [168 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The definitive ranking of supermarkets from worst to best. Where does your favorite land on the list? (deslided) [PSA]

Saturday 15 August 16:51:00 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [196 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "But it is my service animal" [Dumbass]

Saturday 15 August 16:23:47 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Neologisms From 'That Should Be a Word'

Saturday 15 August 16:15:00 UTC 2015

Lizzie Skurnick has a word for that. [Link]

FMyLife » Wellthisishawkward says FML

Saturday 15 August 15:13:51 UTC 2015

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML [Link]

FMyLife » RobotUnicorn1209 says FML

Saturday 15 August 15:13:50 UTC 2015

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Final Countdowns That Weren't So Final

Saturday 15 August 15:13:45 UTC 2015

The end of the world has been nigh for, oh, about as long as the world has been around. People have been trying to forecast the apocalypse since before Biblical times, with no success so far. The world has yet to end, but it’s not for lack of hoping. Here are 15 final countdowns that turned out to be much … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Delicious Regional Sandwiches

Saturday 15 August 15:13:42 UTC 2015

In honor of National Sandwich Month. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » August 14th, 2015: Elizabeth Hasselbeck begins preemptively waging The War on The War on Christmas. Thanks, Fox News [Facepalm]

Saturday 15 August 15:04:59 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Epic Facts About Napoleon Bonaparte

Saturday 15 August 14:45:00 UTC 2015

One of the most fascinating figures to ever live was born 246 years ago. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Investigation finds you're better off having a drunken guy who poops on the beverage cart on your flight than a federal air marshal [Scary]

Saturday 15 August 14:03:04 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 9th Circuit rules that there was no need to make a Federal case out of this [Silly]

Saturday 15 August 13:58:53 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » City Attorney: "Police chief's heartfelt apology for defaming innocent citizen was not intended to be a factual statement" [Awkward]

Saturday 15 August 13:45:50 UTC 2015

Awkward [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Tasty Bits of Diner Slang to Throw Around Your Kitchen

Saturday 15 August 13:45:00 UTC 2015

Diner lingo is said to have roots in the 1850s, but didn’t gain much traction until it permeated the popular luncheonettes during the next century. Things like “BLT,” “mayo,” and eggs “over easy” all originated as shorthand calls to the cook before worming their way into casual conversations. Here are some scrumptious phrases you might not be as familiar with. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flamethrowers were gruesome weapons of war and so controversial that the U.S. military stopped using them after Vietnam. But as crazy as it may sound, they are available for sale to the public [Murica]

Saturday 15 August 13:25:01 UTC 2015

Murica [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two CHP officers, one former CHP officer, a criminal defense attorney and former DA candidate, and a liquor store owner and his brothers are arrested and charged in the murder of a man that is sure to make for a great episode of Law and Order [Strang

Saturday 15 August 13:05:51 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rapt girl under a rainbow [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 August 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefighter catches a baby dropped from the 3rd floor of a burning apartment building and continues fighting the fire despite losing his own home in the blaze [Hero]

Saturday 15 August 12:45:54 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DUDE. Best. Reviewer. Job. EVER [Cool]

Saturday 15 August 12:26:03 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » I Hate Mayonnaise Club

Saturday 15 August 12:09:45 UTC 2015

Honolulu columnist Charles Memminger founded the Worldwide I Hate Mayonnaise Club in 1988. Its purpose was to spread the gospel of mayonnaise hatred. It did so by circulating quotations such as, "Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavour of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish."

Member's would receive an official certificate that they could … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to Hearts that Purr, a 'retirement' home for homeless cats that are left behind when their people become terminally ill or have died. It's nice to have a home on Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 15 August 12:00:00 UTC 2015

Caturday [link] [595 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Regatta draws thousands of people each year to the Todd River in Australia. Fark: the river has no water [Amusing]

Saturday 15 August 11:50:56 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC actually has a secret topless beach. Well, not any longer (sfw) [Unlikely]

Saturday 15 August 11:41:41 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Famous Coffee Fiends

Saturday 15 August 11:37:00 UTC 2015

From carefully-counting beans to drinking gallons each day, these famous coffee drinkers are on a must-have basis with java. [Link]

Weird Universe » Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?

Saturday 15 August 11:33:02 UTC 2015

What a fine joke! The gear-driven, proto-cybernetic hell world of 1958 now looks more like a paradise compared with our world of 2015. No digitization. Hardly any cars on the highway. Children interacting unsupervised with a living ice-cream man. A TV set that can be repaired with a home visit, rather than going straight to the landfill. Coffee perked at … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You Didn’t Know About Weddings

Saturday 15 August 11:15:00 UTC 2015

August 15 is one of the most popular wedding dates this year (as it’s the only month in 2015 that the 15th falls on a Saturday). So if you’re toasting a happy couple this weekend, amuse yourself and your table companions with these lesser-known facts about matrimony. 1. The White Wedding Originated with Queen Victoria. Most American brides choose … [Link]

FMyLife » Brooke says FML

Saturday 15 August 9:19:36 UTC 2015

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 15 August 9:19:35 UTC 2015

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 15 August 9:19:34 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML [Link]

GraphJam » I Got 99 Problems, and They're All Dinkelberg

Saturday 15 August 9:16:53 UTC 2015

99 problems,blame,dinkleberg,governement,Pie Chart Graph by: Unknown Tagged: 99 problems , blame , dinkleberg , governement , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Remember When We Called It a Stalker Feed?

Saturday 15 August 9:16:47 UTC 2015

changes,facebook,Line Graph,new Graph by: AnthonyS Tagged: changes , facebook , Line Graph , new Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance of Bathroom Being Occupied

Saturday 15 August 9:16:46 UTC 2015

LoL by: anjrued123 Tagged: bathroom , chance , coffee , morning , situational , toilet Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Do You Ever Try to Be One Person?

Saturday 15 August 9:16:41 UTC 2015

Graph by: dickmonkey Tagged: fraternal , look alike , Pie Chart , twins Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh That's Probably Just a Butterfly Farting On My Car

Saturday 15 August 9:16:39 UTC 2015

alarm annoying car alarm check noise venn diagram - 5092301568 Don't even worry about it! Graph by: b0nfire- Tagged: alarm , annoying , car alarm , check , noise , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Money through Time

Saturday 15 August 9:16:31 UTC 2015

50s 60s 70s 80s 90s Line Graph money time Graph by: knifewounds Tagged: 50s , 60s , 70s , 80s , 90s , Line Graph , money , time Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ever Notice How a Lot of Couples Look Like Siblings?

Saturday 15 August 9:16:25 UTC 2015

couples,forever alone,Pie Chart,sad but true Graph by: Unknown Tagged: couples , forever alone , Pie Chart , sad but true Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » All Knowledge In The Universe

Saturday 15 August 9:16:19 UTC 2015

art bullshit fundamentalism infomercials knowledge math Music mythbusters painting philosophy physics poetry post modernism productivity science universe venn diagram - 2081280768 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: art , bullshit , fundamentalism , infomercials , knowledge , math , Music , mythbusters , painting , philosophy , physics , poetry , post modernism , productivity , science , universe , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Remembered!

Saturday 15 August 9:16:15 UTC 2015

address bar best of week finding nemo Movie Pie Chart Graph by: Unknown Tagged: address bar , best of week , finding nemo , Movie , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tianjin 2: Re-Explosive Boogaloo [News]

Saturday 15 August 8:07:16 UTC 2015

News [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, what the world really needed – a chemistry set that hasn't had all the cool shiat nannied out of it [Hero]

Saturday 15 August 7:22:00 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » An Odd Fractal

Saturday 15 August 6:46:05 UTC 2015

In 1653, Blaise Pascal composed a triangular array in which the number in each cell is the sum of the two directly above it: Image: Wikimedia Commons In 1915, Polish mathematician Waclaw Sierpinski described an equilateral triangle in which the central fourth is removed and the same procedure is applied to all the succeeding smaller triangles. Perplexingly, the resulting structure has … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yosemite still most majestic, most plague-infested American park [Scary]

Saturday 15 August 6:02:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Everything's bigger in Texas, including the chemical warehouse fires [Scary]

Saturday 15 August 4:58:12 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Crazy cat lady. New hotness: Crazy crocodile dude [Strange]

Saturday 15 August 4:00:51 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like so many other defenses, when you defend your actions with "I'm not interested in having books banned…" it means that yes, you are in fact *very* interested in having books banned [Florida]

Saturday 15 August 4:00:24 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 500 Years of Cave Writings Document Devastating Droughts in China

Saturday 15 August 4:00:00 UTC 2015

Inscriptions written on the walls of a cave in central China document seven major droughts over nearly 500 years. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to make your own trail mix, because you're a complete idiot who can't mix peanuts with raisins without instructions written on the bottom of your stupid Birkenstocks [Obvious]

Saturday 15 August 3:16:36 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Tattoo_Freak says FML

Saturday 15 August 3:15:55 UTC 2015

Today, I am 1,000 days sober and drug-free. I suffer from depression and I am craving terribly. I have a migraine and a bladder infection. And I can deal with all of this. But what I can't deal with is my dipshit coworker asking if I want to go out for drinks and snort cocaine to celebrate. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 15 August 3:15:54 UTC 2015

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Comedic Actors Who Appeared on 'Law

Saturday 15 August 3:00:00 UTC 2015

Actors and actresses known for their comedic work can often get boxed into that particular genre. Yet during its 20-year run, Law & Order never shied away from casting both established and up-and-coming comedians in dramatic parts. Here are 15 of them. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Osama Bin Laden 2.0 chimes in that he'd like to see the al-Qaeda group start paying more attention to Western cities instead of the Middle East for their new bombing campaign [Interesting]

Saturday 15 August 2:45:28 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Jump Rope Harnesses the Energy You Make With It

Saturday 15 August 2:00:00 UTC 2015

A whole new reason to get out and play. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This video tour of a $1,100 100-foot apartment in New York will make you cry tears of blood [Fail]

Saturday 15 August 1:36:31 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [294 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » American military has quietly begun training for all-out invasion of Mt. Midoriyama [Cool]

Saturday 15 August 1:31:12 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Incredible Stargazing Spots You Can Visit This Summer

Saturday 15 August 1:00:00 UTC 2015

Want to really see stars? The key to really enjoying a dazzling night of stargazing is finding a remote place with little to no light pollution. If you’re in pursuit of incredible stargazing, these destinations are worth the journey. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The world's oldest living cat has seen into the center of you and finds it lacking [Scary]

Saturday 15 August 0:52:52 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » An Artist Proves There's Enough Sugar In Your Soda to Create a Lollipop

Saturday 15 August 0:30:00 UTC 2015

The next time you go out to eat, consider ordering a lollipop to wash down your chicken caesar salad. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Casket remains taken, casket remains [Florida]

Saturday 15 August 0:17:48 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop the cutest underwater organism you've ever seen [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 August 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Domino's Now Delivers Pizza Via Airplane to Caribbean Islands

Saturday 15 August 0:00:00 UTC 2015

No man is a pizza-less island. Not if Domino's has anything to do with it. [Link]

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