John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Mental Floss » World War II’s Doomed 'Project Pigeon'

Wednesday 12 August 23:30:00 UTC 2015

The American military had a short-lived plan to turn pigeons into kamikaze pilots. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Wasn't That Your Wife? *Rimshot!*

Wednesday 12 August 23:27:25 UTC 2015

Female CSR: I'd throw something at you, but all I have on my desk is a stapler and a scone. I'm not gonna throw the stapler 'cause I don't want to injure you and the scone is just out of the question.Male CSR #1: Yeah, that's why I confiscate stuff.Male CSR #2: Yeah, he took my balls.San Diego, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Recommended For You: Beer-drinking Hobo Squirrels Away Large Brass Spheres [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 August 23:21:57 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former President Jimmy Carter discloses he has cancer that has spread to different parts of his body. No word on prognosis [Sad]

Wednesday 12 August 23:09:07 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [449 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Lively Facts About 'Six Feet Under'

Wednesday 12 August 23:00:00 UTC 2015

Spoiler alert: everybody dies. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You might be able to sneak a meal or a drink on a company credit card without being caught but they are probably gonna notice $476k for online strippers [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 August 22:56:58 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Pesticides Can Alter Spider Personalities, Study Finds

Wednesday 12 August 22:30:00 UTC 2015

Exposure to insecticide alters the behavior of bronze jumping spiders, Canadian researchers write. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Presented without comment: Someone who wants to be president just tweeted the phrase "Tell us in 3 emojis or less" [Sad]

Wednesday 12 August 22:19:47 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [197 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brisket theft is serious business in Texas [Sad]

Wednesday 12 August 22:03:40 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » First Woman in History Completes Golden Gate Swim—In Shark-Infested Waters

Wednesday 12 August 22:00:00 UTC 2015

Eight years ago Kim Chambers almost lost her leg. Now she's making history. [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: This Obviously Aliens’ First Abduction

Wednesday 12 August 21:39:00 UTC 2015

HOMEDALE, ID—Citing the beings’ conspicuous lack of proficiency at even the most basic tasks and their general air of confusion, local man Travis Porter, 31, reported that his abduction Wednesday night was clearly the aliens’ first. “After they pulled me aboard the ship, they all just kind of stood around for a while looking at each other—it was obvious that … [Link]

Mental Floss » In the Netherlands, There’s an Entire Town Built for Dementia Patients

Wednesday 12 August 21:30:00 UTC 2015

Hogeweyk is home to 150 residents who receive care for dementia and Alzheimer's—without having to give up normal life. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to Alcoholic Architecture, the bar where you get drunk without drinking a sip. "It's ingested through the lungs and eyeballs." Be sure and wear a raincoat, unless you want your clothes and hair to reek like booze when you head hom

Wednesday 12 August 21:08:37 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Fun Facts for World Elephant Day

Wednesday 12 August 21:00:00 UTC 2015

Happy World Elephant Day! Celebrate the occasion with some facts about everyone's favorite gentle giant. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thor hates rainbows [Cool]

Wednesday 12 August 20:38:17 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [52 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Report Finds No Protocol For Cleaning Hospitals

Wednesday 12 August 20:32:00 UTC 2015

A recent report in the Annals Of Internal Medicine found that most hospitals lack strict protocols for cleaning and disinfecting their treatment rooms, with some experts estimating only 50 percent of hard surfaces in any given room are properly sanitized, putting patients at greater risk of hospital-acquired infections. What do you think?
[Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Library Cards or Business Cards?

Wednesday 12 August 20:30:00 UTC 2015

If you work with—or just love—books then you need one of these business cards. These are awesome. * Birds of prey don’t take kindly to drones buzzing around their territory. * J.R.R. Tolkien died 42 years ago but that hasn't gotten in the way of a 100-year old book being released soon. First Dr. Seuss, now him; dead authors are … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colorado draws the line on marijuana candy. No word on the pot-flavored Doritos [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 August 20:24:59 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of the Hawaiian Shirt

Wednesday 12 August 20:22:47 UTC 2015

Their vibrant journey to the mainland and beyond is a tale of surfers, sailors, and cultural crossroads. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rock in the water [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 August 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Larger Pacific Striped Octopus Acts Very Social in the Lab

Wednesday 12 August 20:00:00 UTC 2015

Social behavior is very weird for an octopus. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some golfers have a handicap. Others have wolves [Scary]

Wednesday 12 August 19:46:28 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy steals a pickup truck from a car dealership and beats up a 74-year-old man, all in less than 26 minutes [Strange]

Wednesday 12 August 19:45:15 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man with zipper down to cops: 'There is no doubt that I am impaired'. But wait There's more [Asinine]

Wednesday 12 August 19:43:38 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Things You Might Not Know About QVC

Wednesday 12 August 19:30:00 UTC 2015

Marlon Brando wanted a job there. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops: Shoplifter hid ribeye steaks in his colostomy bag. The marinating craze is now officially out of hand [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 August 19:21:33 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Native American tribes continue to win back this country from the illegal immigrants first by casino, and now by weed [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 August 19:14:28 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman spends 10 years photographing the homeless – then she discovers her dad is among them [Weird]

Wednesday 12 August 19:05:44 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » French McDonald's apologizes for ban on feeding homeless, says everyone should have the right to eat nasty American food [Stupid]

Wednesday 12 August 19:05:26 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Cutting Meat Against the Grain is Scientifically Superior

Wednesday 12 August 19:00:00 UTC 2015

As we slowly enter into the twilight of summer, the stakes are higher than ever to make every steak count. One way to ensure the very best in your home grilling? Cutting your meat against the grain. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, some people still use "LOL," and those people kick Pomeranians to death [Followup]

Wednesday 12 August 18:56:37 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There was just a big-ass explosion in a major Chinese port city. W/ video [News]

Wednesday 12 August 18:49:18 UTC 2015

News [link] [508 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Elderly man drives his car into a lake. Fark: Sits and smokes pipe while waiting to be rescued [Cool]

Wednesday 12 August 18:47:57 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Most dogs want a steak, these dogs wanted cupcakes so badly they ended up causing a stove fire [Scary]

Wednesday 12 August 18:24:12 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Definition

Wednesday 12 August 18:20:39 UTC 2015

“A tomahawk is what if you go to sleep and suddenly wake up without your hair, there is an Indian with.” — University of Texas El Burro, 1969, from A Century of College Humor Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » French malaria victim outraged after government bills him €87,000 for medical flight and treatment, claims he never set foot anywhere near America [Scary]

Wednesday 12 August 18:20:26 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Why Me says FML

Wednesday 12 August 18:18:49 UTC 2015

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 12 August 18:18:47 UTC 2015

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Everyone Knows It's "Wind"y

Wednesday 12 August 18:18:35 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for shoplifting own colostomy bag [Asinine]

Wednesday 12 August 18:14:26 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunkenly accusing your wife of an affair with a firefighter, punching her in the eye after knocking her out, and THEN refusing to answer the SWAT team's knock on your door is no way to go through life, officer. Bonus: wife is a cop, too [Fail]

Wednesday 12 August 18:10:42 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Little House on the Prairie actress running for Congress hopes to have her back taxes paid by 2024, avoiding time in a Big House on the Prairie [Followup]

Wednesday 12 August 18:07:25 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » California Protects Its Drinking Water With a Pile of Plastic Balls

Wednesday 12 August 18:00:00 UTC 2015

These ball pits serve a purpose. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To err is human, to forgive, divine. And according to this man facing the death penalty, mass murder is apparently just an error [Sick]

Wednesday 12 August 17:59:24 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "This is the best Vine of a cat being surprised by a cucumber you will see today." What, there are more of them? [Unlikely]

Wednesday 12 August 17:54:27 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White drug dealer shows solidarity with Ferguson protesters by punching out random cop near Boston [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 August 17:46:43 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Science teacher drops 60 lbs. eating only McDonald's, but wait until you hear how he beat cocaine [Spiffy]

Wednesday 12 August 17:43:48 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [69 comments] [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Man Deftly Downplays His Neighborhood To Coworker Thinking Of Moving There

Wednesday 12 August 17:40:00 UTC 2015

BOSTON—Thinking quickly to devise a list of reasons why the area was not an ideal choice, local billing clerk Tim Connors, 33, managed to skillfully downplay the desirability of his neighborhood to a coworker who expressed an interest in potentially moving there, sources confirmed Wednesday. “You know, it was pretty nice when I moved in a few years ago, but … [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: GMOs: Myth vs. Fact

Wednesday 12 August 17:38:00 UTC 2015




[Link]

Mental Floss » Pick the Movies That Came Out in the 1980s

Wednesday 12 August 17:33:00 UTC 2015

Take the quiz! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's what happens when cows hear music for the first time [Cool]

Wednesday 12 August 17:30:54 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » New Ramen Ice Cream Is the Stuff of Nightmares

Wednesday 12 August 17:30:00 UTC 2015

Now you can enjoy(?) the frozen version of the dorm room staple. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man shouts racial slurs and pulls knife on teens — so they swipe his Confederate flag. Grumpy Cat nods in approval [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 August 17:25:53 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Popular Browser in Each Country, 2008-2015

Wednesday 12 August 17:01:06 UTC 2015

Watch as Internet Explorer's hold on the world slowly shrinks. [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Ripsniptious Faux-Educated Words of the 19th Century

Wednesday 12 August 17:00:00 UTC 2015

In his 1859 Dictionary of Modern Slang, John Camden Hotten discussed a recent craze for long, fancy-sounding made-up words. They drew, loosely and creatively, on the prefixes and suffixes of educated big words to get their point across. “Nothing pleases an ignorant person,” he writes, “more than a high-sounding term ‘full of fury.’ How melodious and drum-like are those vulgar … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Two weeks after inheriting the puppet I started to have really bad headaches and feeling dizzy, which I never thought could be the puppet trying to strangle me at night" (pics) [Scary]

Wednesday 12 August 16:42:45 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 5 GAO employees — 1 a school board member — caught lying about incomes in order to get reduced-priced school lunches for their kids. Come for that outrage, stay for the outrage over how much in taxes this program costs for just 5 people [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 August 16:38:40 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, officer, you killed a black teenager who broke into a car dealership and vandalized cars? Reasonable and necessary use of force. Oh, wait, he was a college football player? You're fired [Asinine]

Wednesday 12 August 16:33:46 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [201 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How an Old Bird Poop Law Can Help You Claim an Island

Wednesday 12 August 16:30:00 UTC 2015

First things first: You'll need to make sure the island you're interested in is covered in fecal matter. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seven of the 25 worst-paying cities for high school teachers are in North Carolina. Residents would be outraged if they could read this [Facepalm]

Wednesday 12 August 16:28:04 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer evolved to be delicious: "Lager yeasts did not just originate once. This unlikely marriage between two species, genetically as different from one another as humans and birds, happened at least twice" [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 August 16:23:59 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Planet Fark [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 August 16:16:31 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Landlord shocked to find tenant keeping 50-stone pig in living room. That's 700 pounds of pork, people [Awkward]

Wednesday 12 August 16:11:05 UTC 2015

Awkward [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're not allowed to play golf naked on Cape Cod [PSA]

Wednesday 12 August 16:07:49 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » When Stonehenge Was Privately Owned

Wednesday 12 August 16:00:00 UTC 2015

Most people take for granted that the historic site is priceless. But Sir Cecil Chubb wasn't most people. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, the Oath Keepers are in Ferguson. But more importantly, doesn't the 2nd image in this article make one think of an oft referenced Mel Brooks movie? [Followup]

Wednesday 12 August 15:57:58 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [220 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A German jihadi has claimed he only joined ISIS due to the 'humiliation' of having his wedding called off – adding that he would have joined the Hell's Angels instead if he'd have been able to" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 August 15:48:50 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former cruise ship photographer reveals hilarious outtakes from his days at sea featuring miserable families, bizarre props and gaudy outfits [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 August 15:40:56 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Abducted baboon rescued, returned to zoo in Macedonia. No word if it ran off with a weasel while it was away [Sappy]

Wednesday 12 August 15:35:11 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Minnesota's Take On 'Duck, Duck, Goose'

Wednesday 12 August 15:30:00 UTC 2015

Kids raised in the North Star State play a different version of the classic schoolyard game. [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Old Time Facts About 'Risky Business'

Wednesday 12 August 15:00:00 UTC 2015

On August 5, 1983, Tom Cruise—wearing Ray-Bans and his skivvies—slid his way into pop culture history. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ashes of famed novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez to be exhibited in Cartagena. No sneezing please [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 August 14:34:26 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Is It Like To Be Invisible?

Wednesday 12 August 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Discover the surprising (and very real) benefit of feeling like you're going unseen. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Families on their holidays at a popular beach in England are at risk of being covered in slime and sewage. A huge hole has opened on the beach and it is erupting like a volcano and sending showers of snails flying everywhere" (pic) [Scary]

Wednesday 12 August 14:06:44 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A shortage of salad shrimp from the Atlantic Ocean has one Alaskan fish processor hoping to be more than just a prawn in the game of life [Spiffy]

Wednesday 12 August 13:51:23 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [38 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 12 August 13:35:50 UTC 2015

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » This Man Had the Longest Birthday Ever

Wednesday 12 August 13:15:00 UTC 2015

A German man figured out a way to make his birthday last for 46 hours. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this orb in transit [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 August 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » LA approves new transportation plan that'll make traffic worse for everyone but bicyclists [Dumbass]

Wednesday 12 August 12:56:35 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [210 comments] [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Lone Tent A Dark Harbinger Of Looming Street Festival

Wednesday 12 August 12:54:00 UTC 2015

BOSTON—Arriving suddenly overnight without any prior warning, a solitary pop-up tent was reportedly seen standing forebodingly at the corner of Endicott and Thacher Streets this morning, its bleak 10’-by-10’ form and the single folding table set up beneath it serving as a dark harbinger of a street festival to come. Bystanders, chilled to the marrow by an array of extension … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newly discovered recording shows Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech was first delivered in a North Carolina high school gym. Of course, at that time, his dream was to get the hell out of a North Carolina high school gym [Int

Wednesday 12 August 12:48:24 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just when you thought it wasn't possible, some DMV employees made driving tests for some even easier [Asinine]

Wednesday 12 August 12:47:29 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vanity Fair writer swipes left. Naturally, Tinder gets on Twitter and reacts like a rejected, crazy, stalker [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 August 12:47:19 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When Greenpeace likens Shell's operation to the "Keystone Cops", and even an ex-BP boss calls drilling the fragile Arctic "risky", what can possibly go wrong? [Asinine]

Wednesday 12 August 12:33:40 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Cream-Filled Facts About Oreos

Wednesday 12 August 12:27:40 UTC 2015

There's a lot to know about the world's favorite cookie. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge punishes couple intent on joining ISIS by making them stay in Mississippi [Scary]

Wednesday 12 August 12:22:21 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Everyone Knows It's "Wind"y

Wednesday 12 August 12:15:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drunk college student, looking for an extension on his paper, emails his professor, tells him he loves him, is "sorry that u r bald" and offers to hook him up with a girl. Fark: He gets the extension [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 August 12:14:28 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Cruise Ship Photos

Wednesday 12 August 12:09:35 UTC 2015

Flashbak.com has posted an interesting collection of photos (titled "Love Boat Rejects") taken by official photographers aboard American, Norwegian, and Italian cruiseships during the 1990s. Check out the full gallery here.

[Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #257

Wednesday 12 August 11:48:43 UTC 2015

Housewife wielding an axe?!? Don't get your hopes up. There is no John-Waters-style carnage ahead in this commercial.

Man, that appliance is huge. Where would it fit in a modern urban kitchen? Maybe in a McMansion….

What do you think the cherry cobbler cooked adjacent to the ham and sweet potatoes is going to taste like? [Link]

Mental Floss » Re-Experience Bill Murray Movies With This Scratch-and-Sniff Book

Wednesday 12 August 11:30:00 UTC 2015

You may think the days of scratch-and-sniffs are long gone, but the fad might be making a comeback. Britain-based publisher Sugoi Books uses the fragrant art in their new book, Cook Your Own Food. The pungent book revolves around the many food scenes in the movies of Bill Murray. Talented artists came together to work on the project, and the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What says 'Happy Anniversary' better than a giant 16 pound cake? [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 August 11:04:36 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Father accused of killing his son tries to explain himself: "Thou shall honor your mother and father or your days are short" [Creepy]

Wednesday 12 August 10:58:23 UTC 2015

Creepy [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The amount of time women spend on doing their hair and faces so they look professional before going into work is now known as the Makeup Tax. "This tax is one that men don't have to worry about, and is essentially another form of pay inequali

Wednesday 12 August 10:50:36 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [380 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This spoiled son of a gun wanted a newer Ferrari model, so he sets his current one on fire in order to obtain it [Stupid]

Wednesday 12 August 10:48:12 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, so the police may post spiteful pictures of the homeless in Operation: Flickr Shame [Sad]

Wednesday 12 August 10:45:22 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Crazy Spanish Festivals

Wednesday 12 August 10:30:49 UTC 2015

Start your day right with these great links! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman shocked Instagram proves she is not a special snowflake [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 August 10:16:27 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More and more college students are using "trigger warnings" as an excuse to avoid having to discuss opinions they don't care to debate because it would shatter their worldview [Asinine]

Wednesday 12 August 10:03:31 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [306 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » SY5623 says FML

Wednesday 12 August 9:30:04 UTC 2015

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Roll Drop Stop, Drop & Roll Stop End of a Bad Date Friction Heart Attack Bowling

Wednesday 12 August 9:25:10 UTC 2015

bad bowling date drop end friction heart attack roll stop venn diagram - 3364849664 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bad , bowling , date , drop , end , friction , heart attack , roll , stop , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Definitions on UrbanDictionary

Wednesday 12 August 9:25:05 UTC 2015

activity information lingo movies Music opinions Pie Chart sexual text urban dictionary Graph by: SleazyP Tagged: activity , information , lingo , movies , Music , opinions , Pie Chart , sexual , text , urban dictionary Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Perfect Amount of Time to Forget About Them

Wednesday 12 August 9:25:01 UTC 2015

banana food fruit Line Graph ripe Graph by: X8_Bliss Tagged: banana , food , fruit , Line Graph , ripe Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Food Senses Are Tingling

Wednesday 12 August 9:25:00 UTC 2015

cat,food,Pie Chart,spidey sense Graph by: ignus34 Tagged: cat , food , Pie Chart , spidey sense Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:55 UTC 2015

Reasons to Own a Monkey Graph by: Bentendo Tagged: bananas , monkeys , pets , Pie Chart , reasons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Not Too Close; You'll Look Like a Pig

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:46 UTC 2015

greedy Pie Chart pizza slices If you push them all together it usually ends up looking like you ate more than half. If you leave a couple of little spaces, you'll look like the "Good Guy Greg" of the group who takes the small slices! Graph by: (via afternoonsnoozebutton) Tagged: greedy , Pie Chart , pizza , slices Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What I do if the smoke alarm goes off

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:45 UTC 2015

annoying cooking fire kithcen Pie Chart - 3734760704 Graph by: tomservo93 Tagged: annoying , cooking , fire , kithcen , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Let's Take the Exact Same Plot, And Make Another Movie!

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:42 UTC 2015

movies,Pie Chart,ruining,sequals Graph by: Xerophyte Tagged: movies , Pie Chart , ruining , sequals Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » While Rage Over Him Has Exponential Increased

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:36 UTC 2015

baby baby justin beiber Line Graph Music rage talent Graph by: Unknown Tagged: baby baby , justin beiber , Line Graph , Music , rage , talent Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Also Have Adult Chat Rooms

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:34 UTC 2015

Prettylady24 said she loves me. Graph by: tetzauh (via www.cinismoilustrado.com) Tagged: all you need , pr0n , sexytimes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Back to the Grind

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:31 UTC 2015

college Sad school summer - 5148468736 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: college , Sad , school , summer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things The Dog Eats

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:30 UTC 2015

animals,chairs,dogs,food,garbage,legs,people,shoes,vomit LoL by: meeka27 Tagged: animals , chairs , dogs , food , garbage , legs , people , shoes , vomit Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When You See It… You'll See That It's Actually Racist

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:28 UTC 2015

black people,Pie Chart,racist,when you see it Graph by: Unknown Tagged: black people , Pie Chart , racist , when you see it Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Candy Mountain, Charlie!

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:26 UTC 2015

Graph by: (via College Humor) Tagged: candy , charlie the unicorn , cookies , infographic , Memes , mountain , twix , venn diagram , youtube Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Do You Look Like Sarah Jessica Parker?

Wednesday 12 August 9:24:24 UTC 2015

absurd,best of week,flow chart,horse,legs,sarah jessica parker Graph by: Unknown Tagged: absurd , best of week , flow chart , horse , legs , sarah jessica parker Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 12 August 8:46:24 UTC 2015

Today, I went to a baseball game. One of the players pointed at me and threw the ball to me. I looked up and was blinded by the sun. Now I look like a fool, have a black eye, and don't have a baseball. FML [Link]

FMyLife » NotJobbing says FML

Wednesday 12 August 8:35:01 UTC 2015

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » College Professor Discovers Tape of Martin Luther King Jr.'s First "I Have A Dream" Speech

Wednesday 12 August 8:30:00 UTC 2015

The recording spent the past five decades buried in a box in a local library. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Once again, California shows the rest of the country how it's done; it bans grand juries in police use-of-force cases [Spiffy]

Wednesday 12 August 8:08:19 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » One Day, This Smart Mirror May Be Able to Read Your Health Signs

Wednesday 12 August 7:30:00 UTC 2015

It's still a prototype, but the Wize Mirror could one day assess your cardiometabolic risk factors and deliver personalized health recommendations. [Link]

FMyLife » Lady_Gunslinger9 says FML

Wednesday 12 August 7:08:35 UTC 2015

Today, I told my boyfriend I was scared to open up to him because I had lost people in the past by doing so. After an hour of him trying to convince me to share my thoughts with him, I finally agreed to tell him some things that were worrying me. He broke up with me a minute later. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When it comes to fighting the drought, the LA Reservoir has a lot of balls [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 August 7:07:00 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Reverses

Wednesday 12 August 6:46:36 UTC 2015

You never laugh at anything nice. A comedy that ends with a laugh is a comedy that ends not with a solution but with a fresh disaster. At the end of Gogol’s The Government Inspector the real government inspector arrives; the trouble is just beginning. At the end of George F. Kaufman and Moss Hart’s Broadway comedy The Man Who … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The states where it's hardest to find work. Well, the states besides Inebriated, Emotionally Unstable, and Flighty [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 August 6:33:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Arne Duncan Stressed About Preparing For Standardized Secretary Of Education Exam

Wednesday 12 August 5:00:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Saying the long nights of cramming from the study guide and the constant drilling from flashcards had really worn on his nerves, Arne Duncan told reporters Tuesday that preparing for the upcoming standardized Secretary of Education Test was completely stressing him out. “I know I’ve got the stuff on FSA loans down, but it’s super unrealistic for them to think … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Russia Destroys 4 Tons Of Banned Imported Food

Wednesday 12 August 5:00:00 UTC 2015

Four tons of produce were buried in Russia this week because they violated a ban on Ukrainian imports, despite a petition with 350,000 signatures calling for President Vladimir Putin to instead donate the contraband food to the poor, following last week’s seizure and destruction of European cheeses in accordance with Kremlin policy. What do you think?


[Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: New Study Finds Earth’s Core Will Be Most Habitable Part Of Planet By 2060

Wednesday 12 August 5:00:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—According to a study published Wednesday by geologists at Georgetown University, the earth’s solid inner core will be the most livable part of the planet by the year 2060. “Provided that current trends continue as anticipated, within half a century the most favorable conditions for supporting human life will be located roughly 3,200 miles below the earth’s surface, atop its … [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Male Friends Depart For Annual Camping Trip To Complain About Camping

Wednesday 12 August 5:00:00 UTC 2015

ALAMO, CA—Saying they’d been looking forward to the outing all summer, local friends Sameer Weber, Rob Dempsey, and Drew Hutchinson reportedly packed up their gear and headed out Thursday for their annual camping trip to complain about camping. “The three of us have been doing this for years; it’s such a nice change of pace to take a long weekend … [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Sneaky Subliminal Messages Hidden in Ads

Wednesday 12 August 4:46:14 UTC 2015

Does subliminal advertising really work? It got attention for these companies. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Perseid Meteor Shower Will Be Spectacular Wednesday Night

Wednesday 12 August 4:45:58 UTC 2015

Some 100 meteors an hour will blaze across the sky tomorrow night. It's going to be the best show in five years. [Link]

FMyLife » it's awkward says FML

Wednesday 12 August 4:39:40 UTC 2015

Today, at Subway, the pretty girl serving made me so nervous by that I forgot what cucumbers were called. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As more states are legalizing pot, sheriff's departments across the country are requesting tanks to combat it [Scary]

Wednesday 12 August 4:30:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Beijing's Olympic Park Is Now Full of Tiny, Technicolor Food Stalls

Wednesday 12 August 4:00:00 UTC 2015

From our friends at Atlas Obscura. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having an argument with a family member about whether the U.S. Civil War was fought over slavery? Let's ask Col. Ty Seidule, Head of the Department of History at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point [Obvious]

Wednesday 12 August 3:24:42 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [309 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Georgia renames Confederate holidays to innocuous "state holiday" [Interesting]

Wednesday 12 August 3:16:34 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 War Heroes That Were Real Animals

Wednesday 12 August 3:00:00 UTC 2015

War heroes comes in all shapes and sizes—and species. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you suffer from foot orgasm syndrome, step forward [Strange]

Wednesday 12 August 2:18:49 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [61 comments] [Link]

The Onion » News in Brief: Area Man Nostalgic For Time When Ads Targeting Him Not As Sad

Wednesday 12 August 2:12:22 UTC 2015

DOVER, DE—Reminiscing about past online promotions for goods and services as he perused the internet Wednesday, area man Walter Delray, 32, reportedly grew nostalgic for a time when the advertisements targeting him were not quite so sad. “Back in the day, I used to get ads for vacation packages to Cancun or high-end digital cameras, but now when I go … [Link]

FMyLife » kobolobo says FML

Wednesday 12 August 1:45:28 UTC 2015

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Sorry, But the Universe Is Slowly Dying

Wednesday 12 August 1:30:00 UTC 2015

The current energy output across more than 200,000 galaxies is only about half as strong as it was 2 billion years ago. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What happens when you ask IBM's Watson to analyze the personalities of Donald Trump, Gary Busey and Kanye West through their words? We learn that computers can cry real tears [Amusing]

Wednesday 12 August 1:13:38 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brace yourself: What lions need is a good dental plan [Followup]

Wednesday 12 August 0:48:41 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » High-Tech Washing Machine Uses Beads, Not Water

Wednesday 12 August 0:30:00 UTC 2015

It can decrease water consumption by 80 percent per wash. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this toss [Photoshop]

Wednesday 12 August 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Reverse Graffiti Creates Murals By Cleaning

Wednesday 12 August 0:00:00 UTC 2015

Anyone who has ever drawn a doodle into the caked dirt of a car windshield knows a thing about reverse graffiti. By taking away, you can create something new. That's exactly what energy company Polska Grupa Energetyczna, comic book artist Przemek “Trust” Truściński, and Good Looking Studio decided to do on the side of Poland's tallest dams. Solina dam is … [Link]

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