Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » FUCKFACECUNT says FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Wlanla says FML
Today, my satan-spawn of a step-son proudly showed that he can pee accurately while standing up. I'd be less livid if he hadn't pissed on me while I was asleep in bed. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 68: The Niihau Incident
Images: Wikimedia Commons
After taking part in the attack on Pearl Harbor, Japanese fighter pilot Shigenori Nishikaichi crash-landed on the isolated Hawaiian island of Niihau. In this episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll recount the six days of escalating drama that unfolded between the desperate pilot and the terrified islanders. We’ll also hear a list of open questions from Greg’s … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 1PM Dessert
Boss: Never put two cranky diabetics in the same room together. All you’ll get is ‘”fuck this,” “shit this,” and “blood sugar that!” 1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Overheard by: shaun [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Cutting-Edge Treatments for Inflammatory Diseases
Inflammatory diseases are common—and hard to live with. Here are five potential treatment breakthroughs. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "They seemed to really trust each other. The marmoset was very intrigued, touching the iguana" [Sappy]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » A Vincent Van Gogh Self-Portrait Made From 50,000 Flowers
Volunteers have constructed a towering recreation of one of Van Gogh’s own self-portraits. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Wire: Season 6 is in production [Followup]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » DA throws the book at a man who explicitly threatened to kill his neighbors once he got out of jail. Just kidding. They dismissed his case because police were too busy working other cases [Awkward]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Buzzworthy Facts About Bumblebees
They air-condition their own nests, eat constantly, and choose their children's sex. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Most Racy Thing an Engineer Has Ever Said
Engineer #1: Can I borrow these probes?Engineer #2: Are you going to bring them back?Engineer #1: Yeah, sure.Engineer #2: Probes never come back. There’s like a probe-hole somewhere. Like the same place socks go in the laundry.Engineer #1: … Did you just say ‘probe-hole’?Engineer #2: Ummm… Yes.Rochester, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Adventures in dogbathing. How do you keep your dog from smelling like a dog? Why yes, Subby's house is now soaked in doggy bath water [Survey]
[link] [180 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this group of friends [Photoshop]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About St. Louis
Read on to learn more about the Gateway to the West. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boston bridge repair project delayed two years after workers discover bridge is full of mysterious objects known to the ancients as "rivets" [Stupid]
[link] [194 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Underused Words Coined by James Joyce
Making up words is a common Internet pastime, but James Joyce was way ahead of the curve in this area. In many of his works—but especially in the innovative Ulysses—the English language as it was didn’t meet Joyce’s needs, so he made up words of his own, slamming together existing terms and creating new variations. Few of these neologisms are … [Link]
FMyLife » I'mMike says FML
Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Wow says FML
Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up – "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Writing Tips From Stephen King
Have you ever felt so truly inspired to write a novel—and then had no idea what to write about? Have you ever felt the crippling doubt that comes along with pouring your heart out on paper? Well, have no fear! Stephen King’s On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft features a bounty of inspiring quotes for channeling your inner author … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man teaches his daughter's bullies an important lesson about empathy and loving their fellow man. Just kidding, he tries to run them over in his minivan (yes, there is video) [Dumbass]
[link] [193 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Get a room, teachers, get a room [Dumbass]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's jerk and then there's stealing $90,000 worth of human hair meant for cancer patients jerk [Sick]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Great Britain Reacted to 'Star Wars'
The Force was with London. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Sweetest 'Sesame Street' Moment
This is profoundly delightful. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Aircraft door washes up ashore on Reunion island as the evidence of MH370 now becomes as plane as day [Followup]
[link] [252 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just in from Memphis: Another death during a traffic stop [Sad]
[link] [380 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 'Raiding the Lost Ark': The Ultimate 'Raiders' Companion
"Raiders of the Lost Ark" is 115 minutes long. This movie ABOUT "Raiders" is 143. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Notorious criminal organizations launder millions overseas and enjoy lavish lifestyle here in the U.S. Oh wait, did we say "notorious criminal organizations"? Our bad, we meant "Florida police agencies" [Florida]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » A One-Sided Story
Gabriel Josipovici’s 1974 short story “Mobius the Stripper” is subtitled “A Topological Exercise.” The text is written in two strips, which tell two ostensibly different stories. The first strip tells the story of Mobius, a man of uncertain origin who feels a metaphysical need to strip, “to take off what society has put on me” and discover his true self. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Giant snails leave a trail of destruction through Miami [Followup]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this whole lotta craziness going on [Photoshop]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Things We Learned from Rick Moranis on 'Bullseye with Jesse Thorn'
Why he quit show business, how the Bob and Doug sketches started, and his disastrous early experience on radio. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Your song [CSB]
[link] [186 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Novel method of fixing car
Charles Shepherd. That name sounds familiar.
Mansfield News-Journal – Dec 21, 1956
Took Accident To Fix Auto
DETROIT (UP) — Walter H. Hobbs was fined $10 for ramming Charles Shepherd's car in the rear despite a plea from Shepherd in his defense.
Shepherd said his car had been running better than it ever did since Hobbs rammed it. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Glitter, children, live cats, and other things you can't mail via the U.S. Postal Service [Obvious]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Babysitter pay jumps 28% in five years. I kid you not [Followup]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (August 2, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M434, August 2, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Among the health and fitness “apps” for computers and smartphones are sex-tracking programs to document the variety of acts and positions, degrees of frenzy, and length of sessions (via an on-bed motion detector)–and menstrual trackers aimed at males (to help judge their … [Link]
Weird Universe » Monark, the Wheely Boy King
How do the wheeled extremities of Monark permit the little monster to operate those other vehicles?
Original ad here. (Page 23) [Link]
FMyLife » Son of a Bitch says FML
Today, an hour into a family road trip, my mother informed me that she didn't put my suitcase in the car because it "didn't fit". FML [Link]
FMyLife » Hellasboy says FML
Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man loses cell phone, blames Gypsys, finds out Chinese guy had it, leaves Paris. There, I just saved you five minutes [Interesting]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » Words Telemarketers Understand
Graph by: Cerebellum Tagged: Bar Graph , call , dont , phones , telemarketer , understand , words Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Probability of Getting Your Mail Delivered to your House
LoL by: JohnK Tagged: mail , situational humor Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Whoviam Whumor
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: creepy , doctor who , gas mask , Pie Chart , the doctor Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Seven… Snowmen, Uh…. Dancing
Graph by: Troll_The_Groundfags Tagged: 12 days of christmas , christmas , Pie Chart , rings , twelve Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Ways Star Trek Conflicts are Resolved
Graph by: napoleon5 Tagged: conflicts , Pie Chart , Star Trek , technobabble Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » The Dog Is Trying to Kill Me
Graph by: cobrabk Tagged: dogs , pets , scary , stairs , trip Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: anime , dragonball z , Pie Chart , recap , screaming , silence , too much staring , vegeta Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Be careful removing the film wrapper off of your Kraft American Cheese Singles. It could kill you. The wrapping, not the cheese, to be precise [Scary]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "It's embarrassing and I don't see how it even got to this," Blake said. "I really did not know I was breaking the law" [Unlikely]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark ready headline: "Woman tries to eat crack cocaine in front of drug agents." With glorious mugshot [Facepalm]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to escape the incessant chicken shaming, okay? Are you happy now? [Strange]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After realizing it was heading to Fresno, airplane engine flames out in flight [Scary]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Christianity is like so Middle-Ages [Obvious]
[link] [169 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In today's episode of First World Problems, we learn how unfair it is that one town allows driving on the beach and the next town does not [Stupid]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Will you vacation on Cape Spiny Dogfish this summer? [Sad]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently Virginia believes you can't really appreciate jail unless you're sober [Strange]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's not such a beautiful day in the gayborhood [Sad]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of amazing music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT) [Live]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » funnnyyyyy -_- says FML
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML [Link]
FMyLife » hook me up with some smack, Jack says FML
Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Last year, Hitchbot crossed Canada in three weeks. Two weeks into a similar attempt to cross the U.S., he made it as far as Philadelphia where they beat the crap out of him [Murica]
[link] [244 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » World's largest wave generator in operation in Wales. Wait, why would you want to generate a wave in a whale? [Cool]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The touching story of a doctor, an incubator and a circus sideshow [Interesting]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Colombian Air Force transport goes down, killing 11 servicemen. Thank God this didn't happen in Brazil, as the casualties could have been in the [Scary]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Zimbabwe bans the hunting of lions and elephants and leopards…OH MY [Followup]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well, you know the old saying: "Keep your friends close, and your dead relatives closer." No, wait… how does that go again? [Creepy]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Yogi has gone from stealing pic-a-nic baskets in Jellystone Park to breaking in to houses and raiding fridges in Colorado [Followup]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Trooper almost killed by Sandra Bland's cigarette was disciplined last year about his unprofessional conduct, had to endure counseling. It's like he's being targeted [Followup]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you like Italian ice? Are you good at solving mysteries? Well if you can crack the case of the bounce house that was stolen then later returned with an 'I'm sorry' note then you will be rewarded with free Italian ice for a year [Spiffy
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you've had 5 encounters with alligators in the 2 years that you have lived in that house it might be time to think about moving [Scary]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Plane crashes at UK auto show. No word on car plowing through airshow audience [Scary]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bees think Anti–Vaxxers are stupid and selfish too [Obvious]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ♬ I only have eyes for you ♬ [Sick]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not really news: Stealing from the elderly. Fark: The unholy spawn of Jar Jar Binks and a snapping turtle steals money from the elderly [Murica]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's your annual bear sushi party Live Brooks Falls webcam [Spiffy]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who killed two children in a car crash shows up to hearing wearing t-shirt and shorts, gets scolded by judge for dressing as if he didn't care about the horrific crime. Tag is for the judge [Hero]
[link] [172 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this NOPE [Photoshop]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
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