Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Man calls police because he is offended by material being sold in flea market, forgetting that most material in a flea market is offensive [Dumbass]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Life After Sumo: Photos of Wrestlers in Their Second Careers
For most people, it's hard to figure out what you want to be when you grow up. For Sumo wrestlers, it's even harder. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Arizona man serving 15 years in prison is singlehandedly responsible for 78% of the Tucson federal court's civil caseload; a federal judge said he has "abused the legal process egregiously and often" [Dumbass]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A gang of teens on bicycles are terrorizing Brooklyn by groping women. As if we do not already have enough reason to dislike bicyclists. And teens [Asinine]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Most badass stagecoach driver of all time discovered at death to be a woman. She smoked, drank, and loved whips and horsies [Interesting]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sheriffs considering making sex offenders pay annual fee to defray costs of monitoring them since it's so hard to track jobless, homeless pariahs according to state laws [Florida]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » The_keg76 says FML
Today, while happily enjoying a bag of chips, I noticed all the black seasoning and which seemed to taste fine, until I got to the bottom of the bag only to find that the "seasoning" was made out of dead ants. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 12PM Load Up the Machine
Co-worker #1: Where is the copy paper?
Co-worker #2: Office Depot. 5201 Ravenswood Road
Dania Beach, Florida [Link]
FMyLife » GoldCyclone says FML
Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Oh Shoot, It’s Time to Go
Worker #1: When do you leave for the trip?Worker #2: In about 20 minutes.Worker #1: Well, are you jizzed?Worker #2: What?Worker #1: Jizzed. You know, excited!Worker #2: Uh, sure.Red Run Boulevard
Owings Mills, MarylandOverheard by: Matt [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Have You Gone Down to Accounting and Checked Stacey's Mouth?
VP: Has anyone seen my teabags?Receptionist: Where did you last put them?VP: On the kitchen counter.Receptionist: You put your teabags on the counter? Did anyone see you?VP: No, no one else was there.Receptionist: Are they jumbo-sized teabags?VP: No, they're regular size, and I've looked everywhere!Vienna, VirginiaOverheard by: Office drone [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Because I Borrowed It
Secretary to lawyer: Was that your condom they found on the second floor of the parking garage?Cleveland, Ohio [Link]
Mental Floss » There Are No Homosexuals in Iran
When Iran's President declared Iran free of gays, a photographer set out to discover where they'd gone. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » If Maxim Had Horoscopes
Boss to employee: After you pound four beers your balls always end up in the gutter.San Francisco, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anyone got an extra $96 billion? Greece would totally like to borrow it [Followup]
[link] [151 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just because Baby needs new pair of shoes doesn't mean you can sell drugs from child's stroller, Mom [Florida]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Shrimpers pull giant invasive creature from dark waters of St. Johns River. What will they do? "Saturday night when we close, we're going to eat it" [Florida]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Perhaps Some Silver Bullets or a Stake
Distressed older coworker: I don't get it. I unplugged my computer last night and I'm still getting e-mails. I don't know what I have to do to stop them.Pensacola, Florida [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guitar guy [Photoshop]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to mastermind a home invasion robbery, try to pick someone other than your boss [Florida]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Which of the following will *not* make your child's teeth rot: A.) Sugary sodas; B.) Fruit juice; C.) Dried fruit; or D.) None of the above? If you answered C, we have a surprise for you [Facepalm]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested for assaulting the mayor of Baltimore with the deadly solvent dihydrogen-monoxide [Weird]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Strange Geographies: Beautiful, Alien Iceland
Iceland is a landscape that's still being born. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Female teachers receiving light sentences for sex with students. New hotness: Brunette female teachers receiving harsh sentences for sex with students [Florida]
[link] [158 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …How Much I’m Enjoying Your Discomfort
Beastly employee: That reminds me of when I was skinny. I was smoking. With my thigh-high boots.Pretty employee: Mmmm… cool.Beastly employee: I won’t ever wear them again. I am too fat. I will bring them in for you.Pretty employee, unhappily: Ummmm… ok.Passerby employee to pretty employee, sympathetically: The boots went up to her camel toe… I’m sorry.Hawthorne, New YorkOverheard by: I … [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (July 12, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M431, July 12, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
The enormous compensation large-corporation CEOs receive is justified in part by their bringing prosperity to their shareholders, but last year (an excellent one for most investors), two of the nation’s best-paid chief executives “earned” handsome raises despite presiding over losses: Philippe Dauman … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate waking up to find a small plane crashed in your front yard? [Florida]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Grab the sauce and the cole slaw, we gotta lot of smoked meat in Miami [Florida]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Thought You Looked Different…
40-something male colleague: Oh, Sunday was no-pants day! Did you participate?20-something female intern: Yes, but not intentionally!Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Beach yoga man injured when his ball explodes" [Scary]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nation's capital is turning parking spots along busy streets into fun 6' x 12' parks where kids can play, what could possibly go wrong? [Stupid]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Never bring your rifle to a cat fight, even if there are 15 of them running amok [Florida]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » LAPD investigating video of car driving backwards for miles. Only clue is a male voice screaming, "FEEEERRRRIIIIIISSSSSSS" [Weird]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Yeeeeeeeesssss [Interesting]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Our long national nightmare is finally over as Zimm the escaped monkey has been recaptured and returned to his enclosure at the Memphis Zoo [Silly]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » whymomwhy says FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Hollzbananza says FML
Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML [Link]
FMyLife » anon says FML
Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You've assaulted a police officer and stolen a pork pie and you're in the dock. How to escape? Why, the old broken ankle ploy of course. Wait until you're being taken to the cells and spring out of your wheelchair [Fail]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Swedish Puzzle Rooms Test Teams’ Wits and Strength
A Boston suburb has a few secrets hidden in a 30,000-square-foot space formerly occupied by a department store. [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
obstaculous
adj. of the nature of an obstacle sufflaminate
v. to put an obstacle in the way of; to obstruct intermure
v. to enclose between walls, to wall in circummure
v. to wall round Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Detroit Police Department now suffering its worst manpower shortage in nearly a century. Which is no big deal since residents agree there's nothing left for anyone to actually want to steal [Fail]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 17 Heroic Facts About the 'X-Men' Movies
As the trailers for 'Deadpool' and 'X-Men: Apocalypse' wow audiences at Comic-Con, we're looking back at the 15-year-old franchise that proved that superhero movies didn't have to be hokey. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Sweden you have the inalienable right to roam where you want, there is a festival for everything, and the people there take coffee breaks to a whole new level [Spiffy]
[link] [153 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A recent outbreak of salmonella that affected nearly 200 people has been partly attributed to people "kissing and cuddling live poultry" [Sick]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » UK urges British tourists to leave Tunisia, saying terrorist attacks are "highly likely." Although it is going to be hard to talk any common sense into anyone who has picked Tunisia as their vacation destination [Scary]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these business peeps [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Your first computer [CSB]
[link] [371 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 of George Washington's Rules of Civility That Still Apply
Though some of the founding father’s rules are in need of a fresh coat of paint for modern life, these 12 are as appropriate as ever. [Link]
Weird Universe » Death at the Cathedral, 1964
October 2, 1964: One minute Veronica McConnell, 22, was happy and carefree. The young American woman had just arrived in Paris the night before on vacation and was visiting Notre Dame Cathedral. It was the first stop on the city bus tour.
After seeing the inside of the cathedral, she stopped to buy some candles at a stand in the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mexican drug lord Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, former head of the Sinaloa Cartel, has escaped from a maximum security prison. Fark: for the second time [Scary]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested after stealing a sword from Renaissance Festival jousters. Not surprisingly alcohol was involved [Dumbass]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Alexander D’Agostino at Labbodies
Be sure to check out the "performance" around 23:00, when ballet slippers and a Skeletor mask come into play.
[Link]
FMyLife » annoyedgf says FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML [Link]
FMyLife » savannahsboxxx says FML
Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML [Link]
GraphJam » Just Who is This Guy?
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: awful , behind , break , burglar , eat , food , house , leaves , roommate , santa claus , stoned , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Chance I'll spill coffee on myself, by color of my shirt
Graph by: geiiga Tagged: Bar Graph , beverage , black , blue , brown , chance , coffee , color , drink , shirt , spill , white Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » 'Cause They Try, and They Try, and They Try
Graph by: 101001 Tagged: Music , Pie Chart , rolling stones , satisfaction Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » You So Useful, Cow
Graph by: Alexwin Tagged: cow , products , vegan Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Judgment When Drinking
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: alcohol , bad idea , drinking , good , good idea , judgment , sound , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Mine Loved Me a Little
How much did your parents love you? Graph by: (via www.tauntr.com) Tagged: love , parents , pets Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Simple Equations
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: equation , truth Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Cycle of Manliness
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: chest hair , cycle , girlfriends , manly Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: chapstick , lips , make up , nom , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Why No Love For 'Yol Toor Shul'?
Graph by: Coup03 Tagged: best of week , gamers , no love , Pie Chart , self referential , Skyrim , video games Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Quantity vs price in restaurants
Graph by: Staz Tagged: cost , diners , fast food , gourmet , high class , Line Graph , McDonald's , price , quantity , restaurant Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Steering Wheel Hand Positions
Quantifying Everything For Great Justice Graph by: Unknown Tagged: driving , hands , Memes , steering wheel Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » How's That Even Possible?
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: felony , Pie Chart , slang , urban dictionary Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Time Spent While Gift Wrapping
LoL by: Panda_Yuki Tagged: Cats , gifts , holiday , pets , wrapping Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Why I Make My Answering Machine So Long
Graph by: sessie01 Tagged: answering machine , message , notification , phones , Pie Chart , voicemail Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Obnoxiousness of the chipmunk previews
Graph by: IamHasBob Tagged: animation , chipmunks , first , kill , Line Graph , movies , now , obnoxious , previews , second , sequels , third Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Fun Facts About Han Solo
Han shot first. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Last Best Ghost Town: Bodie, California
Bodie was the third most populous city in California in 1880. Now it's filled with ghosts. [Link]
Mental Floss » Strange Geographies: The Mojave Desert's Airplane Graveyard
I thought it was a mirage the first time I saw it. [Link]
Mental Floss » Strange Geographies: The Salton Sea
In the 1950s the Salton Sea was touted as "the American Riviera." But years of polluted runoff have left the place desolate. [Link]
Mental Floss » Strange Geographies: Salvation Mountain
"I only meant to stay a week. But 25 years later, here I am still." -Leonard Knight [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You're an inmate in a California prison and you're suspected of swallowing something illegal — welcome to the "potty watch" where they'll know when you go [Creepy]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » CoalRose says FML
Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New York unveils new program to track troublesome cops; the program is named ALT + F4 [Obvious]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis says the new Golden Calf, the false idol worshiped by the damned, is wealth [Interesting]
[link] [188 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "It's pretty disturbing because, I for one, don't want to think there's an ice cream man driving around drunk. Nobody wants any DUI ice cream" [Scary]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Are UPS Tracking Codes So Long?
While you’d be forgiven for assuming that UPS tracking codes are generated randomly, those numbers (and letters) actually contain a lot of information. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fox Brewery to celebrate cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems by releasing Duff beer [Spiffy]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some 20 to 30 drivers have a colorful story to tell after the hose on a highway paint-striping truck ruptures [Scary]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour after the smooth jazz it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 3 hours of music hosted live by a farker in rainy Juneau, Alaska. LGT stream (9PM AKDT/10PM PT) [Live]
[link] [265 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The German POWs Who Lived, Worked, and Loved in Texas
How German POWs populated small-town America during World War II. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Harland Sanders was a foul-mouthed, violent, horny old coot, but he was a hard worker and gave most of his money away to the "Salvational Army" [Interesting]
[link] [171 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do Your Dog's Feet Smell Like Popcorn?
You're not crazy—your dog's feet really are snack-food scented. [Link]
Mental Floss » 17 Amazing Facts That Sound Made Up
You probably didn't find these facts in your history textbooks. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How one Japanese chemist with a taste for whisky made it possible for all of us to make it Suntory time [Spiffy]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found a picture of myself on the "People of Walmart" site. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Julianapilikusplatosophophes says FML
Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't… They'll take your skin…" He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lake Michigan water levels are rising at an alarming rate. Is now the time to panic? I was told that the time to panic was when it was falling at an alarming rate. Will someone please clarify when the time to panic is? [Spiffy]
[link] [158 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this beard-sterile environment [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
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