John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Digital kidnapping is now a thing [Weird]

Saturday 11 July 22:50:45 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you bought a lottery ticket in a Brooklyn deli on July 24, you may want to check the numbers [Interesting]

Saturday 11 July 22:25:34 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm so pot for teacher [Dumbass]

Saturday 11 July 22:16:46 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Greece isn't the only country going under. The Maldives need to buy a whole new country [Interesting]

Saturday 11 July 21:18:52 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japan could teach the West a thing or two about sleeping on the job, aka urban napping. "If carried out correctly an inemuri is an honourable kind of minor failure, like having no time to eat lunch, or 200 unanswered emails" [Amusing]

Saturday 11 July 21:11:36 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 46-year-old woman injures her hand while playing musical chairs, re-injures it weeks later while helping someone move, so of course the state of Arkansas owes her $75,000 [Asinine]

Saturday 11 July 20:02:15 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Taber Bills

Saturday 11 July 20:01:41 UTC 2015

In 1799, Massachusetts passed a law restricting private banking companies from issuing their own currency notes without the consent of the legislature. This was well intended: If unlimited paper money were allowed to circulate, the resulting inflation would play havoc with the finances of ordinary people. Unfortunately, the result was that legitimate currency became harder and harder to find. In … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this televised address [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 July 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Snappy Facts About 'Legally Blonde'

Saturday 11 July 20:00:00 UTC 2015

Test audiences were so invested in the tale of Elle Woods that they got the ending changed. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's all fun and games 'til you start swinging a sword at people [Scary]

Saturday 11 July 19:44:36 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In today's annual repeat: four gored in Pamplona bull run [Repeat]

Saturday 11 July 19:39:13 UTC 2015

Repeat [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, sharks have learned to make IEDs [Scary]

Saturday 11 July 19:12:47 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Yes, hello, 911? I'd like to report some suspicious teenagers selling $10 boxes of candy for an undisclosed nonprofit" [Strange]

Saturday 11 July 19:11:24 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Strange Geographies: Portugal's Bone Chapel

Saturday 11 July 19:00:00 UTC 2015

"We bones here, for yours await." Nice and creepy. [Link]

FMyLife » don't get paid enough for this says FML

Saturday 11 July 18:51:47 UTC 2015

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 July 18:51:46 UTC 2015

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when they knock at your door, refuse to leave you alone, park in front of your house until you submit to their demands? Census workers in Dallas refuse "no comment" [Asinine]

Saturday 11 July 18:01:13 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Post-Apocalyptic Words and Phrases from 'Beyond Thunderdome'

Saturday 11 July 18:00:00 UTC 2015

ere are 11 post-apocalyptic words Max learns from the Thunderdome and beyond. [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Quirky Clubs You Should Probably Join Today

Saturday 11 July 17:30:00 UTC 2015

If you're sick of being a subordinate Claus, maybe the Santa Claus Group is for you. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The most common cause of car accidents in Canada is still "hit by møøse" [Scary]

Saturday 11 July 16:51:28 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three years of probation and 100 hours of community service seems about right for stealing four guns from a police evidence room and trying to sell one, if you're a sheriff's deputy [Asinine]

Saturday 11 July 16:43:11 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Passengers now being kicked off planes after being deemed "too ginger to fly" [Weird]

Saturday 11 July 16:19:18 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Passing Place: A Hike Through Skye, Scotland (Part 1)

Saturday 11 July 16:00:00 UTC 2015

A visit to the ruined city of Boreraig. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court orders Sikh mailman be allowed to deliver mail to Disney World, proving once again though the mountains divide, and the oceans are wide, it's a small world after all [Interesting]

Saturday 11 July 15:45:17 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Passing Place: A Hike Through Skye, Scotland (Part 2)

Saturday 11 July 15:30:00 UTC 2015

Here's Part 2 of a rather long (10-mile) hike on the Isle of Skye. If you haven't seen it yet, check out Part 1 for background and the first half of the hike. As we ascended a mountain ridge, the sheep seemed to care much less about us. These are semi-wild sheep, living off the fertile grass of the area … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The legendary Texas prosecutor and television host of Cold Case Files, Kelly Siegler, who brought down a fellow prosecutor for failing to turn over evidence to the defense, has herself been found to have withheld favorable evidence 35+ times [Ironic]

Saturday 11 July 15:24:20 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Windows 10 approaching RTM

Saturday 11 July 15:05:38 UTC 2015

MS has released the latest build to us on the insider testing fast track (Build 10166). It is do for public release to market on July 29th. Those of us testing will get a free one use RTM PC copy.
While this is not weird news it is something we will all choose or not to upgrade to. So far … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why you should always buy the biggest pie a pizza place makes, because math [Interesting]

Saturday 11 July 14:47:52 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [200 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ThatOneChick856 says FML

Saturday 11 July 14:42:37 UTC 2015

Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 July 14:42:36 UTC 2015

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Things You Might Not Know About 'The Monkees'

Saturday 11 July 14:00:00 UTC 2015

A brief history of the ultimate made-for-TV band. [Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Things You Should Know About Atlanta

Saturday 11 July 14:00:00 UTC 2015

Impress the locals during your next visit to the City in a Forest. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC sanitation department says the World Cup ticker tape parade was a sweeping success. Here's how they did it [Interesting]

Saturday 11 July 13:52:39 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After reading this, you won't think sunburn tattoos are so cool. In other news, there is a such thing as a sunburn tattoo [Interesting]

Saturday 11 July 13:50:25 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 41 Eerie Photos of Abandoned Soviet Buildings

Saturday 11 July 13:30:00 UTC 2015

Rebecca Litchfield stepped into her first abandoned building, a Victorian asylum, in 2005. Today she travels the world, taking pictures of broken and forgotten places. For her latest project, she explored the remains of the crumbled Soviet Union and satellite states. The result was the breathtaking collection found in her new book, Soviet Ghosts. “My aim with the book was … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some guy wears twelve layers of clothing on flight to avoid baggage fee, with predictable results (w/pics) [Dumbass]

Saturday 11 July 13:09:27 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this polite indication [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 July 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Strange Geographies: The Fjords of New Zealand

Saturday 11 July 13:00:00 UTC 2015

New Zealand boasts some of the world's most beautiful fjords… within an enormous and mostly unpopulated wilderness known as Fjordland. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you must eat meat, all Moby asks is that you skip 26 showers for every 4-ounce hamburger you consume [Unlikely]

Saturday 11 July 12:41:32 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [200 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Creepy 1948 ad for electro-shock therapy

Saturday 11 July 12:38:10 UTC 2015

Back in the 1940s, electro-shock therapy (or "electro-tonic therapy") was promoted as a breakthrough treatment for depression. But it never managed to live up to the hype and was eventually mostly replaced by chemical treatments (popping pills). Though, from what I understand, it's still used in certain situations.

If the medical industry was promoting electro-shock therapy today, I imagine they'd … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That most august of holidays … okay that most July of holidays, Free Slurpee Day is here again [Cool]

Saturday 11 July 12:20:29 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Little Mews is moving to a bigger, better home, just in time for Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 11 July 12:00:00 UTC 2015

Caturday [link] [682 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you just hate when you find out that the cause of your five-day leg pain is an embedded bullet? [Florida]

Saturday 11 July 11:35:33 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Facts About 7-Eleven on 7/11

Saturday 11 July 11:30:42 UTC 2015

Before you head out for your free Slurpee, read up on the world's most popular convenience store. [Link]

Weird Universe » The Astounding She-Monster

Saturday 11 July 11:30:12 UTC 2015

Doesn't the narrator at the start of the full film sound like Troy McClure from THE SIMPSONS?
[Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Refreshing Facts About Mojitos

Saturday 11 July 11:30:00 UTC 2015

In honor of National Mojito Day, kick back with these facts about the beloved cocktail—as you sip one, of course. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why are so many adults buying coloring books? [Stupid]

Saturday 11 July 11:05:23 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [114 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 July 10:22:17 UTC 2015

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Bard Chart

Saturday 11 July 9:47:40 UTC 2015

the bard william shakespeare - 6149168128 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: the bard , william shakespeare Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How I Obtain Knowledge

Saturday 11 July 9:47:37 UTC 2015

albert einstein college knowledge mythbusters wikipedia - 1907782400 LoL by: pasi Tagged: albert einstein , college , knowledge , mythbusters , wikipedia Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 11 July 9:47:35 UTC 2015

Bulk costco discount free samples Pie Chart price quality food - 4033192192 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bulk , costco , discount , free samples , Pie Chart , price , quality food Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chances of doing a really cool trick

Saturday 11 July 9:47:33 UTC 2015

Graph by: lolmatt0409 Tagged: accident , cool , magic , perform , practice , trick Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Oh Please Don't Be Zombies

Saturday 11 July 9:47:32 UTC 2015

fighting Pie Chart video games weapons - 5175211264 Graph by: Diaboragon Tagged: fighting , Pie Chart , video games , weapons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 11 July 9:47:27 UTC 2015

daww food pet store pets Pie Chart - 3963781120 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: daww , food , pet store , pets , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How People React When I Say I Have Asperger's.

Saturday 11 July 9:47:23 UTC 2015

aspergers mental illness Pie Chart react strange Graph by: wolfgirl-1994 Tagged: aspergers , mental illness , Pie Chart , react , strange Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where Are the Tubes?

Saturday 11 July 9:47:20 UTC 2015

bab internets parents series of tubes venn diagram - 6370136576 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bab , internets , parents , series of tubes , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Just Agreed to Give Your First-Born to Steve Jobs

Saturday 11 July 9:47:14 UTC 2015

Graph by: Meleneteleio Tagged: license agreements , Pie Chart , software , technology , terms and conditions Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Structural Analysis of Hummed Batman-Theme

Saturday 11 July 9:47:12 UTC 2015

batman,humming,lyrics,movies,Theme Song,TV Graph by: Unknown Tagged: batman , humming , lyrics , movies , Theme Song , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 11 July 9:47:10 UTC 2015

airplane leslie nielson Naked Gun Pie Chart rip shirley thats-not-important-right-now - 4212995584 Graph by: whiteexploder Tagged: airplane , leslie nielson , Naked Gun , Pie Chart , rip , shirley , thats-not-important-right-now Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Contents of a DVD

Saturday 11 July 9:47:05 UTC 2015

ads annoying asleep bluray contents DVD FBI languages menu Movie movies Pie Chart previews price quality sounds warnings - 3452681728 Graph by: patmathis Tagged: ads , annoying , asleep , bluray , contents , DVD , FBI , languages , menu , Movie , movies , Pie Chart , previews , price , quality , sounds , warnings Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Go Set a Watchman" portrays a now-72-year-old Atticus Finch as a pro-segregation racist who goes to Klan meetings. I hate sequels [Sad]

Saturday 11 July 9:31:00 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well great, now we broke the sun. Thanks, climate change deniers [Followup]

Saturday 11 July 7:33:00 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [192 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge who sentenced kids to juvie in divorce case has change of heart, sends them to Camp Wunnakeepmajerb instead [Followup]

Saturday 11 July 6:17:00 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [206 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Portland International Airport now allows passengers to carry marijuana on in-state flights [Cool]

Saturday 11 July 5:57:00 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Bonkers 'Archie Comics' Crossovers

Saturday 11 July 5:30:00 UTC 2015

Archie, Jughead, Betty, and Veronica are versatile enough to go anywhere: from the gritty world of a vigilante to an alternate universe. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 July 5:24:16 UTC 2015

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Target store accidentally broadcasts porn over their PA system. "Expect More … More … MORE" [Awkward]

Saturday 11 July 4:19:00 UTC 2015

Awkward [link] [61 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 July 3:49:22 UTC 2015

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Whale that Started the Green Movement

Saturday 11 July 3:30:00 UTC 2015

In 1966, a beluga whale swam the wrong way up the Rhine—and wound up paving the way for environmental reform in Germany. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 July 2:37:08 UTC 2015

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Sharp Facts About Gastonia

Saturday 11 July 2:30:00 UTC 2015

Sorry, North Carolina: Today’s dinosaur has nothing to do with your charming city of the same name. It is, however, a very important animal—as any armored dinosaur expert can attest. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Melbourne, Australia gave all city trees ID numbers and email addresses so citizens could report problems like dangerous branches. Naturally, dendrophiliac Aussies used them to write pining love letters to their favourite elms [Sappy]

Saturday 11 July 2:20:08 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [52 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » wantmeasandwich says FML

Saturday 11 July 2:02:19 UTC 2015

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 July 2:02:18 UTC 2015

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Spocking The 5

Saturday 11 July 2:02:11 UTC 2015


Its not illegal to deface money in Canada. The banks do not like it but the trekkies up north don't care! Live long and prosper ay. [Link]

Mental Floss » Male Strippers Are in It for the Self-Esteem Boost, Study Says

Saturday 11 July 2:00:00 UTC 2015

A sociological study of male strippers finds that dancing for women enhances positive feelings of self-worth. [Link]

FMyLife » Stevarious says FML

Saturday 11 July 1:49:03 UTC 2015

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » With New Technology, Hypoallergenic Peanuts Are Possible

Saturday 11 July 1:30:00 UTC 2015

The USDA Tech Transfer Report includes and innovation that removes 98 percent of allergens from peanuts. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California prison officials want to know who sawed an inmate in half after prison riot in May [Creepy]

Saturday 11 July 1:04:23 UTC 2015

Creepy [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Secrets of Apple Store Employees

Saturday 11 July 1:00:00 UTC 2015

They see lots of naked pictures. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tl;dr [Obvious]

Saturday 11 July 0:45:13 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman gets upset after learning Taco Bell doesn't have Wi-Fi, dumps water on teenage employees. Then the knife comes out [Scary]

Saturday 11 July 0:40:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Vacation Destinations that Ended Up in the Dictionary

Saturday 11 July 0:30:00 UTC 2015

Thinking of getting away from it all this summer? How about France? Italy? The Mediterranean? Or what about somewhere more exotic, like north Africa or southeast Asia? Well, no need to pop down your local travel agent to find out more, because all of these can be found much closer to home in the pages of a dictionary… 1. GENOA, ITALY … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this friendly wave [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 July 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Yosemite’s Iconic Half Dome Just Lost 5 Million Pounds of Granite

Saturday 11 July 0:00:00 UTC 2015

During a run of stormy days last week, a 2,500 ton slab of granite rock face fell from Yosemite’s famed Half Dome cliff and went crashing into the valley below. We’ll never know if it made a sound, because no one was around to see it and the seismic event went undetected for days. It wasn’t until July 5th that … [Link]

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