Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » What's killing newborn babies in Vernal, Utah? Frack if I know [Sad]

Sunday 28 June 23:56:41 UTC 2015

[link] [137 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More than 300 Einstein impersonators set new world record, begin wait for the free Guinness bar towels they were promised [Amusing]

Sunday 28 June 23:50:35 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Investigators seize 23,211 marijuana plants, 4,394 pounds of processed marijuana, 15 pounds of hash in brick form, 16 firearms and 50,000 rounds of ammunition from area known as the "Emerald Triangle" (w/pics of the 22,211 marijuana plants) [

Sunday 28 June 23:48:59 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » July 4 predicted to be warm and sunny across most of America with only scattered terrorist attacks [Scary]

Sunday 28 June 23:36:36 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Jesus Christ, there's a chance you'll need to get into your car in Rwanda again [Cool]

Sunday 28 June 23:18:32 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » 15 Fascinating Facts About ‘Saving Private Ryan’

Sunday 28 June 23:00:00 UTC 2015

You won't find "FUBAR" in the German dictionary, or any of these little-known facts about Steven Spielberg's Oscar-winning WWII drama. [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 63: The Rainmaker

Sunday 28 June 22:58:49 UTC 2015

In 1915 San Diego hired “rainmaker” Charles Hatfield to relieve a four-year drought. After he set to work with his 23 secret chemicals, the skies opened and torrential rains caused some of the most extreme flooding in the city’s history. In this week’s podcast we’ll discuss the effects of “Hatfield’s flood” and ponder how to assign the credit or blame. … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 28 June 22:41:55 UTC 2015

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 28 June 22:41:54 UTC 2015

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Firearms aren't for everyone, we recommend them and show people how to use them and what situations the law says they can use them, but we recommend whether it be pepper spray, firearms or TASERs" [Obvious]

Sunday 28 June 22:20:14 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Dam [Sad]

Sunday 28 June 22:10:42 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Downtrodden and outnumbered, Alabama minority group lets their freak flag fly. No, not that one, the other one [Hero]

Sunday 28 June 21:00:36 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » "Shooting someone changes just about every cop who does it. You'll just never look at life in the same way again" [Obvious]

Sunday 28 June 21:00:13 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Christian pastor writes article on how gay marriage should affect the marriages of straight Christians around the country, and it's … actually really heart-warming and inspirational [Cool]

Sunday 28 June 20:46:12 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Three injured, one dead after a basketball tournament in Connecticut became serious business [Scary]

Sunday 28 June 20:38:13 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Don't Sweat it — they got him [NewsFlash]

Sunday 28 June 20:10:35 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Phoenix hit by first dust storms of monsoon season. Arizona has a monsoon season? [Weird]

Sunday 28 June 20:10:04 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these rabble rousers [Photoshop]

Sunday 28 June 20:00:01 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Recommend me a good book [Advice]

Sunday 28 June 19:18:01 UTC 2015

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FMyLife » stillhungry says FML

Sunday 28 June 19:01:26 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML [Link]

FMyLife » isaidfuckoff says FML

Sunday 28 June 19:01:25 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML [Link]

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Sunday 28 June 19:01:24 UTC 2015

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 World Leaders and Their Pizza Stories

Sunday 28 June 19:00:00 UTC 2015

No one is immune to the charms of pizza. (Except maybe the Dalai Lama.) [Link]

Futility Closet » Made to Order

Sunday 28 June 18:44:35 UTC 2015

Divide the number 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,998,999~ into 1 and express the result as a decimal expansion, and you’ll find the Fibonacci sequence presented in tidy 24-digit strings: (Thanks, David.) Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baltimore, a city long known for bad decisions, now wants everyone to use a pressure cooker to prepare ribs. YOU MONSTERS [Fail]

Sunday 28 June 18:23:04 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Meet the man with the largest collection of Nazi memorabilia. How large? $160 million large [Strange]

Sunday 28 June 18:05:43 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Greek banks and stock market will stay closed next week to avoid insolvency after EMF refuses more funds [News]

Sunday 28 June 18:01:27 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » 9 Hi-Tech and Interactive Pizza Boxes

Sunday 28 June 18:00:00 UTC 2015

If your pizza box isn't hosting concerts or helping your family bond, maybe it's time for an upgrade. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And this is why you don't camp in dry creek beds [Sad]

Sunday 28 June 17:54:38 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Another shark attack occurs in North Carolina, the fifth such attack in the area in four weeks. You'd think people would vacation elsewhere [Scary]

Sunday 28 June 17:53:51 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Who watches the watchmen? Cop blockers [Spiffy]

Sunday 28 June 17:47:49 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Take a dune buggy, combine it with a go-kart and a rally car and you have TAKE MY MONEY TAKE IT ALL WANTWANTWANT [Cool]

Sunday 28 June 17:11:48 UTC 2015

[link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » An Exclusive Excerpt from a Memoir in Pizza

Sunday 28 June 17:00:00 UTC 2015

In 2009, Colin Hagendorf set out to review every regular slice of pizza in Manhattan. Somewhere along the way his life fell apart. [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Important Moments in Pizza

Sunday 28 June 16:00:00 UTC 2015

Why did no one tell us there was a pizza button? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shots ring out near San Francisco's gay pride event but had nothing to do with bigotry, just idiocy [Scary]

Sunday 28 June 15:35:58 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Mushroom that has squid-like tentacles found in Japan, will be the adversary in several upcoming high school girl themed anime shows [Creepy]

Sunday 28 June 15:16:00 UTC 2015

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FMyLife » anonynous says FML

Sunday 28 June 15:14:34 UTC 2015

Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML [Link]

FMyLife » MovingtoCanada says FML

Sunday 28 June 15:14:33 UTC 2015

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Little Known Story Behind 'Do the Right Thing'

Sunday 28 June 15:00:00 UTC 2015

There's a reason Spike Lee's film about racial tension, summer heat and a corner pizza shop is President Obama's favorite film. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Uh, International Space Station, this is Ground Control…your supplies are going to be a little late [NewsFlash]

Sunday 28 June 14:52:01 UTC 2015

[link] [323 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Delicious Pieces of Regional Pizza Slang

Sunday 28 June 14:00:00 UTC 2015

The "party-cut" vs. "pie cut"; "apizza"; and 10 more. [Link]

Weird Universe » Sleep Learning

Sunday 28 June 13:04:37 UTC 2015

"Discover how you can apply sleep learning to gain health, relaxation, confidence, personal magnetism, self mastery, memory power, success in business and human relations… learn foreign languages and how to play the piano."
Learn to play the piano? In your sleep?

Source: The San Mateo Times – Aug 25, 1959 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man showing his plan [Photoshop]

Sunday 28 June 13:00:01 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: The one I won't tell my kids [CSB]

Sunday 28 June 13:00:00 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » 15 Burning Facts About 'St. Elmo's Fire'

Sunday 28 June 13:00:00 UTC 2015

It has been 30 years since Rob Lowe taught us about illusionary flashes of light and how to play the sax. [Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #252

Sunday 28 June 12:33:51 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » The Pizza Principle: New York's Weirdest Economic Theory

Sunday 28 June 12:00:00 UTC 2015

Wondering what you can get for the exact cost of a New York pizza slice? Look no further. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Freegan' couple who rummage through supermarket garbage cans for food miss their trial for stealing food from supermarkets due to food poisoning [Ironic]

Sunday 28 June 11:28:14 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » Let Math Solve All Your Pizza Problems

Sunday 28 June 11:00:00 UTC 2015

With a little geometry knowledge, you can stretch your pizza dollar, fold your slice properly, and make a really bad math joke. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The good news is that more than a dozen research chimps involved in test to determine why people yawn will get to leave their lab and have a more leisurely life. The bad news is they're retiring to a zoo [Interesting]

Sunday 28 June 10:07:04 UTC 2015

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GraphJam » Things One Can Have While in College

Sunday 28 June 9:57:59 UTC 2015

college,education,money,sanity,school LoL by: glenntg Tagged: college , education , money , sanity , school Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 28 June 9:57:59 UTC 2015

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML [Link]

FMyLife » cough cough you're a dickface says FML

Sunday 28 June 9:57:58 UTC 2015

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 28 June 9:57:57 UTC 2015

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML [Link]

GraphJam » Bear Grylls Hopes It's Filled With Piss

Sunday 28 June 9:57:45 UTC 2015

glass optimist pessimist - 4796467712 Graph by: kasdbp100 Tagged: glass , optimist , pessimist Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Scumbag Safari Competes With IE

Sunday 28 June 9:57:44 UTC 2015

browser internet Pie Chart safari top sites Graph by: Unknown Tagged: browser , internet , Pie Chart , safari , top sites Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » "Classy"

Sunday 28 June 9:57:43 UTC 2015

classy,people,use,venn diagram,word Graph by: giesam Tagged: classy , people , use , venn diagram , word Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When You Gotta Go

Sunday 28 June 9:57:41 UTC 2015

Graph by: Tebilyee Tagged: annoying , Bar Graph , bathroom , bed time , bladder , pee Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Just Drink the Damn Thing

Sunday 28 June 9:57:40 UTC 2015

glass optimism perspective pessimism Graph by: sixonefive72 Tagged: glass , optimism , perspective , pessimism Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » People who bring their computer into a repair shop

Sunday 28 June 9:57:39 UTC 2015

buddy computer problems professional repair shop tech support warranty Graph by: digitalmaniak3k Tagged: buddy , computer , problems , professional , repair , shop , tech support , warranty Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Fight of The Living Dead

Sunday 28 June 9:57:38 UTC 2015

fight guns infographic movies outbreak Statistics zombie - 4564377600 Graph by: (via Geekologie) Tagged: fight , guns , infographic , movies , outbreak , Statistics , zombie Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chances that the bad guy you just shot a bunch of times is really dead.

Sunday 28 June 9:57:36 UTC 2015

action bad Bar Graph dead guy horror movies real life shot Graph by: JohnnyReb27 Tagged: action , bad , Bar Graph , dead , guy , horror , movies , real life , shot Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things My Cats Will Eat

Sunday 28 June 9:57:35 UTC 2015

Cats food pets puke - 1478612736 LoL by: HeroisaGirl Tagged: Cats , food , pets , puke Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Notice Any Difference?

Sunday 28 June 9:57:33 UTC 2015

Bar Graph,download,FBI,megaupload,piracy Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , download , FBI , megaupload , piracy Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Dog Logic

Sunday 28 June 9:57:32 UTC 2015

Things my dog is threatened by... Graph by: CheezandCrackers Tagged: Cats , dogs , goggies , Pie Chart , vacuum Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michael Moore, on the bail and legal fees of that woman who climbed the flagpole outside the SC capital building and took down the Confederate flag: "I got this" [Hero]

Sunday 28 June 8:41:56 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » You might have had wild stories to tell from college parties, but has a bear ever crashed one? [Scary]

Sunday 28 June 8:36:00 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Egypt sees a sandstorm and an earthquake in the same day. It looks like the Old Testament God is in a grumpy mood again [Weird]

Sunday 28 June 7:48:00 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » "I asked my friend's daughter Elise if she thought she'd have nightmares over the whole thing and she said, "Are you kidding me? This is the best day of my life ever'" [Spiffy]

Sunday 28 June 6:45:16 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Excuse me officer, can you direct me to the veterinarian's office? My alligator is sick [Spiffy]

Sunday 28 June 5:30:17 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Get kicked out of a bar for being intoxicated? Going back with your gun and firing randomly in the street should show them you aren't that drunk [Fail]

Sunday 28 June 5:08:45 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Our host is spending time with family and friends so there won't be a Livingston Stapler Company Presents show tonight. Instead here is an archived show from June 29, 2013 [Spiffy]

Sunday 28 June 4:25:33 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » First the US government wanted Burning Man to build them a $1 million luxury compound for VIPs, now they also want them to supply unlimited access to ice cream, Choco Tacos, and Chobani Yogurt. Sounds like someone is planning on having the munchies [

Sunday 28 June 4:17:00 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for downloading 'extremist' e-books to be released, as apparently none of them were under copyright [Florida]

Sunday 28 June 4:15:50 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Fat, nude body painting in NYC celebrates body positivity. No it wasn't of Chris Christie, Eric Cartman, or your mom [Interesting]

Sunday 28 June 3:02:57 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » Name the Pizza Hut Toppings (Not the Cheese)

Sunday 28 June 3:00:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's what happens when you execute a high-speed turn in a Maserati to avoid a dog when you have a can of paint in the back seat. Bad dog. BAAAAD dog [Sad]

Sunday 28 June 2:43:16 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » As you get older, you learn that there are some things you should not eat. A 30 pound porcupine is definitely on that list [Scary]

Sunday 28 June 2:07:50 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » The Art of Future War looks at propaganda in the Digital Age. Would you like to know more? [Cool]

Sunday 28 June 2:02:13 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Catching up with the subject of one of the most disturbing pictures ever taken: A 9-year-old girl in a bikini standing in an inflatable pool, smoking a cigarette. Fine parenting was at work. Clearly [Followup]

Sunday 28 June 1:40:33 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Yes world, take all your little minion problems and put them back in the drawer, for we have been taken over by our new ugly-assed red panda cub overlords. We have been conquered [Sappy]

Sunday 28 June 1:33:30 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » CNN claims to see an ISIS flag at a gay pride march. It's actually a drawing of a bunch of sex toys (possibly Not safe for work) [Dumbass]

Sunday 28 June 1:27:37 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Woman fires shots at repo man. Police "discovered the barrel of a Colt revolver protruding from the woman's vagina." Police quickly snatched the gun away from her [Fail]

Sunday 28 June 1:13:11 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » The Complete History of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Sunday 28 June 1:00:00 UTC 2015

Co-creator Peter Laird was kind enough to answer our burning questions about the franchise. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I was actually a little worried, I even used some explicit language with the police officers, holy crap not in those words, you guys scared the — out of me. This is the second time it has happened to me. What am I going to think," said Lam

Sunday 28 June 0:48:56 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » When 120,000 people want to attend an event, do you: A) Encourage carpooling, B)Lift tolls, or C) Keep mass transit system closed [Florida]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons