Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » Idiot says "HIPAA violation" says FML
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » college estudiata says FML
Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just an idea for Drew when he gets elected governor of Kentucky: Hire this guy to redecorate your new office at the state house. It would beer awesome [Spiffy]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » While clever for publicity, maybe this road sign isn't the best encouragement for people actually driving [Obvious]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, would you pass the U.S. citizenship quiz, or would you fail and have to be deported back to your country of origin? [Florida]
[link] [184 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When investigating the death of man the last thing you expect to find in his basement is a 500-lb pig. And no, that is not a euphemism for the man's wife [Strange]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The earth continues on its mission to swallow Florida, this time in Port Richey [Florida]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A pajama-clad woman knocks on the window of a restaurant to get the attention of customers sitting at a window table. Then things get weird [Weird]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Newspaper editor Tweets that his paper's op-ed policy, which forbids "racist, sexist, or anti-Semitic" letters, will be adding "homophobic" to the no-print list. Conservatives: RELEASE THE OUTRAGE [Facepalm]
[link] [294 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » tycrist8 says FML
Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Nope says FML
Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A waiter with 25 years' experience talks about all the things people like to complain about in restaurants, and ends up being really fair-minded and thoughtful. Main takeaway — "gluten-free" customers are idiots, but we already knew that
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this loss for words [Photoshop]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagne" [Strange]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NPR found more veterans afflicted by mustard gas than the VA did [Awkward]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Facts About Domino's Pizza Founder Tom Monaghan (in 30 Minutes or Less)
#2: He threatened pizza thieves with a meat tenderizer and fisticuffs. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » World-ending software glitch, 15 years ago: The Y2K bug, in which computers would think the year 2000 was 1900. World-ending software glitch, today: County marriage license software that doesn't allow for same-gender couples to be selected [Scary
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Six historically black churches have burned down overnight in the last week. Three are suspected as arson. But that flag is just about heritage, right? [Sick]
[link] [222 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Transit cop shoves and beats fare jumper, and it was all caught on video. Even the part where the fare jumper was holding his infant child through the whole debacle [Facepalm]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » IRS employees can use 'password' as a password? No wonder we get hacked [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hundreds injured in explosion at Taiwan water park [Scary]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nebraska Supreme Court rules a retired farmer needs to pay more in alimony than he earns in a month, fails to see a problem with their ruling [Facepalm]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Pop Culture Predictions on the Future of Pizza
In the past, we thought pizza delivery in the future would be so different. And in many ways, it is! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Purge must continue: Activists call for the removal of two historic, 60-year-old stained glass windows at National Cathedral … because each of them shows a small Confederate flag in the Civil War scenes they depict [Stupid]
[link] [249 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Email Feed
I’m changing our email feed — instead of a daily digest you can now sign up to receive the full text of each new post as soon as it’s published. And, unlike the old feed, this one contains no advertising. If you’d like to try it, you can sign up using the box at the bottom of the sidebar. If … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hedgehog trapped in railings had 'misjudged his own girth,' demonstrating the importance of girth over length [Misc]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One woman managed to do what all of South Carolina so far can't — bring down the Confederate flag that flies in front of the statehouse. Don't worry, though, they got it raised again in time for a "flag supporters'" rally later t
[link] [219 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Top 10 US Pizza Chains
Chuck E. Cheese's is in the top 10. Who knew? [Link]
FMyLife » thatguy8878 says FML
Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Can't top this lead: "An Alabama teenager was arrested Thursday after he followed through on a bizarre threat to kill his mother's chickens unless she mended the relationship between him and his girlfriend" [Creepy]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Heartfelt Facts About 'Sleepless in Seattle'
You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love with these movie facts. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finding a dead body can be traumatizing, creepy, or for some people, a perfect opportunity [Sick]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New study suggests that the illness known as "porn addiction" isn't real. Subby will be back with DIT in about 5-7 minutes [Giggity]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » America's Quick Rise From Pizza-Ignorant to Pizza-Obsessed
In twelve years, pizza went from intriguing foreign dish to American cultural staple. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Beaver? Dam [Dumbass]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So…about the "I'm going to set myself on fire if gays get to marry" pastor. Yeah, thought so [Followup]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Indiana legalizes sawed off shotguns
Beginning July 1st we can own one as long as it is manufacture made. Mine is already ordered. [Link]
Mental Floss » Secret Pizza Party! (or How to Write the Best Kids' Book)
Secret #1: Get your narrator in cahoots with the reader. [Link]
Weird Universe » 50 guys in one bed
May 15, 1964: the students of Wakefield College in England attempted to set a record for the most people piled in one bed. They were hoping to make it to 50, but when they got to around 47 things started to go wrong. Frazer Cartwright, who was on the bottom, gasped, "Get off… quick… I'm…" Then blood began gushing from … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For the last time, do not set off fireworks inside your apartment [Florida]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida public health officials say there's nothing to panic about over flesh-eating bacteria outbreak. In other words, Florida is suffering an outbreak of FLESH EATING BACTERIA SO RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES [Florida]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anti-vaccine doctor dies from shot [Obvious]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Want Pizza…from Your Toaster?
This 1999 commercial takes pizza too far. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Weren’t You On The Electric Company?
Supervisor: I’m like the voice of truth. I’m the Superman of words.8141 Riverside Avenue, Suite 7
Riverside, CaliforniaOverheard by: sylvie [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Am Helping You
Assistant: Can you stick around? I need supervision for this.Manager: Really? I'd rather have super hearing than super vision. (pause) Oh, you meant “supervision,” didn't you?Assistant: Do you think someone else could help me with this?Baltimore, Maryland [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Fool! The Customer Is Always Right!
Customer: Hello, Phyllis, how are you today?Worker: I’m not Phyllis, I’m Kay. Customer: Your name tag says Phyllis. Worker: No, it doesn’t. It says Kay, see? P-H-Y… oops!… wrong name tag.Westmoreland Mall
Greensburg, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Like Bathing in Christian Dior’s Saliva
Agent #1: So, I see this girl, you know, in the grocery store. And she’s just this freak of a girl. A tall, thin freak. And it’s like this beam of light just descends on her, basking her in the smell of success. You know those moments?Agent #2: The moments where you see tall, thin freaks?Agent #1: Well, yeah — it’s … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s Enough for Me
Secretary on phone: I hate fake tans too…not cans…tans. No, tans. T as in taco, A as in anus, N as in next, and S as in swords. I hate fake cans, too. 3818 Maccorkle Avenue SE
Charleston, West Virginia Overheard by: brittany [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’ve Got 99
Customer: Can you direct me to the problems office please?Receptionist: The problems office? I’ve never heard of them.Customer: Oh… Maybe they closed down…Receptionist: What kind of problems did they solve?Customer: Any kind of problems!Receptionist: Am I able to help?Customer: Nah…I’ll just come back another time.Gold Coast
AustraliaOverheard by: Cam [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these NASA vegetable scientists [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Rose Totino, Patron Genius of Frozen Pizza
Say a thanks for Rose. Frozen pizza used to taste terrible. Then this sweetly badass nonna fixed it. [Link]
Weird Universe » Masterpiece
The picture above is just a portion of what is recognized by Guinness as the worlds longest sculpture. Artist Zheng Chunhui took 4 years to complete this beautiful masterpiece which is fashioned from one 40 foot long tree trunk. There are more pictures at the link. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 20-month-old can climb a rock wall. For her next trick she'll either star in Spider Girl or maybe potty train [Cool]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Chuck E. Cheese/ShowBiz Pizza Robot Wars
Before Chuck E. Cheese was officially a mouse, he was a rat. And the backstabbing around him was epic. [Link]
Weird Universe » Getting Off on the Right Foot
This anonymous fellow, despite resembling Archie Bunker, is my new hero for sensible competence. His tolerance for falling is awesome. This is definitely not one of those exercises in boredom.
Should I ever become a hobo and take to riding the rails, I will owe any success to him. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cats would have us believe that in our absence they sleep all day, pining for us to come home and play with them. This video tells another story, one where you need to have a frank discussion between you and Fluffy this Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [558 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Maybe Tim Hunt really was joking, after all? [Followup]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Let's Just Say the Body Shots Got a Little Out of Hand
Female coworker: Hey there, sweetie. Did you have fun yesterday?Male coworker: Huh?Female coworker: You had the day off, didn't you?Male coworker: I was at a funeral. My grandmother died.Westlake
Seattle, Washington [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How about a piping hot cup of NOPE [Stupid]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fox News asks the question: Why are liberals attacking the Confederate flag but not attacking Stalin, Lenin, or Che? WHY? No, seriously, they asked that farking question [Facepalm]
[link] [274 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Outspoken feminist columnist trolls TV news, gets trolled in response, re-trolls the trolls, and calls for legal justice. The Aristocrats [Asinine]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Reader Poll: What Could She Be Talking About Other Than Penises?
Office assistant: I can take 'em in my mouth all day long, but not in my body.Tulsa, Oklahoma [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just to make sure they weren't attacked by zombies, the ancient Greeks trapped the dead in their graves by tying them, staking them, flipping them onto their stomachs, burying them exceptionally deep or pinning them with rocks or other heavy obje
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man accused of voyeurism and masturbating in public has quite the mess on his hands [Florida]
[link] [6 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Canada boasts freakishly large goldfish [Stupid]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » True Fact:
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: hormones , horny , insomnia , life , sleep , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Lots of Words… Make Me…. ZZZZzzzzz
Graph by: liepster Tagged: bedwetting , cells , facts , infographic , interesting , sheep , sleep Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » CHANCE OF REMEMBERING TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH
Graph by: Kraygh Tagged: bed , before , chores , cozy , early , evening , fined , garbage , morning , remember , trash , truck Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » The Most Startling Alarm
Graph by: brigetteb Tagged: asleep , bored , message , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Items in college dorm rooms
Graph by: toph3r818 Tagged: allowed , college , dorm , items , present , room , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » So What? Canada's a Freeloader
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Canada , freddie freeloader , infographic , kilometers , kind of blue , miles davis , so what Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Trick Question, It's the Illuminati's Fault!
Graph by: (via OWSPosters) Tagged: best of week , Climate Change Debate , companies , oil , science Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Sounds Like You Need *Sunglasses* a Smoking Jacket, YEAHHHH!!!
Graph by: Jesterbwoy Tagged: cold , jacket , Pie Chart , quit , smoking Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » I'll Never Have Your Quirky Love Story
Graph by: purplemusic93 Tagged: best of week , dating , movies , Pie Chart , romance Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » How to Be Hot
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: attractive , body language , help , infographic Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: MoeF Tagged: Burnination , customers , hot plate , its-some-kind-of-trick , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » How My Brain Works
Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: best of week , brain , interest , obsession , switch Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Health Pie Chart
I've been sick. This is my health this week in pie chart form. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: hand drawn , health , pie , Pie Chart , slice , yummy Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Who Needs Studying?
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , degree , paradox , textbooks , truancy story Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Twelve consumer product brand names you might be saying incorrectly, according to the pronunciation police [Interesting]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Venom from the world's deadliest spider can make a man stiff in four hours [Giggity]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A 35-year-old Colorado woman attempted to burglarize the home of a retired police officer — while her three kids waited in the car [Asinine]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Famous Jingles by Barry Manilow
Even if you're not a Fanilow, you've almost certainly gotten some of Barry Manilow's handiwork stuck in your head. [Link]
Mental Floss » What Did I Just Watch? Sea Star Attacks Explained
They look so mellow, but they're pretty ruthless hunters. [Link]
FMyLife » very analytical says FML
Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do you get for pilfering natural gas in a huge plastic bag to use for your cooking? *Kaplooey* [Dumbass]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 2nd grader on playground: "Hey, let's dig up this rock" "Cool, I'll get some sporks" Time passes. 5th grader: "This is a pretty big rock" [Cool]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Homeless woman kidnaps children to teach them how to steal, pickpocket, and live on the street. What the dickens? [Florida]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Students who killed one of their bandmates by hazing him to death sentenced to ten years in prison. Wait, no, sorry. I forgot what state this was; they're getting ten years of probation. For murder [Florida]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The moral of this story is don't stop be a good Samaritan when you see a shark in the water, just run [Scary]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You cannot attack a police officer. Even if they are responding to an incident and happen to have the wrong address [Interesting]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Who wears short Confederate flag boxer shorts? Fired North Charleston police officer wears short Confederate flag boxer shorts [Dumbass]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "They don't deceive, they remain loyal, they don't criticise – all things that are hard to achieve in human interactions. We know that having a dog makes us healthier and widens our social circle; it's a win-win relationship" [Obv
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » McDonald's adding .25 ounces to its Quarter Pounder [Ironic]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man upset that his neighbor was grillling out decides to toss furniture at him [Dumbass]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Ridged Facts About Acrocanthosaurus
This intimidating predator would look great on the big screen. Ahem, Steven Spielberg… [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tunisia hotel terror attack victim: My fiancé took three bullets to save my life and said "Tell our children daddy loves them" [Hero]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Those are some heavy tunes, man [Fail]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » President Obama's eulogy to Senator Clementa Pinckney. Come for the heartfelt eulogy to a statesman and spiritual leader, stay for the President of the United States leading a rendition of Amazing Grace [Video]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two 80-something year old men became the first same-sex couple legally married in Dallas County, Texas after being a couple for 54 years [Sappy]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Communicate With Others Through a Thought-Controlled Robot
Individuals with paralysis or other physical disabilities that limit their range of motion may not be able to leave their homes to visit other people without someone else’s help, often leading to extreme cases of depression and loneliness. Since 2008, researchers at the Defitech Foundation Chair in Brain-Machine Interface at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Switzerland have been … [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch a Swirling Vortex on the Texas-Oklahoma Border
Record-breaking rainfall has caused historic water levels in Lake Texoma, so authorities have decided to drain it, causing swirling whirlpool that looks like something out of a movie. [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Famous Jingles Written By Barry Manilow
Even if you're not a Fanilow, you've almost certainly gotten some of Barry Manilow's handiwork stuck in your head. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A judge in Alabama is refusing to issue ANY marriage licenses, gay or straight, in protest of the SCOTUS gay marriage ruling [Dumbass]
[link] [300 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Realtime Photo Gallery Lets You Keep Up With This Week's Northern Lights
Massive solar storms caused a rare Northern Lights show that could be seen as far south as Texas. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People in upstate New York reported to be up to 50% safer, according to reports [News]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » AshWil says FML
Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Good Parenting? says FML
Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this yoga dude [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Britain is Getting a Grilled Cheese Subscription Service
British grilled cheese lovers rejoice: Soon, you may need to go no further than your mailbox for a delicious sandwich. [Link]
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