Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » WCARlover says FML
Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Ngbaheir says FML
Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man flags down police officers to ask for help. Officers give it their best shot [Scary]
[link] [209 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ten years ago firefighters save a unconscious 13-year-old girl from a fire after someone threw several Molotov cocktails in to a building. On Friday those firefighters attended the girl's college graduation. "It's touching for both of us&
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Red Devil parachutist owes his teammate a beer after he was caught in mid-air when his chute failed. (Yes, there is video) [Hero]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 18 Fun Facts About 'The Blues Brothers'
Even a broken watch can tell you that it has been 35 years since the first SNL movie hit theaters. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If after being rescued from raging floodwaters, the rescue crew tells you to stay away from the water, you MIGHT want to listen to them [Scary]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance, he'd kill you, and everyone you cared about [Obvious]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Welp, this should put to rest any doubts as to the motive for Dylann Roof's murderous rampage. Are you listening, Fox News? Hello? Hello? [Followup]
[link] [519 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Murder suspect found hiding in a refrigerator. Deputies believe the murderer is (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) cold blooded [Florida]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ball examination [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Catholics have been demanding climate change for years, but no one listened until the pope and his goofy hat stood up for it [Ironic]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » At least 3 dead and 34 injured after man drives his car in to a crowds of shoppers at 90mph before going on a stabbing spree [Scary]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Clone Words: 15 Fascinating Terms from 'Orphan Black'
The first rule of Clone Club is: Learn the language of Clone Club. [Link]
FMyLife » jenpearl says FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML [Link]
FMyLife » baberuth says FML
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Budweiser truck crashes with 300 barrels of beer on board. Nothing of value was lost. Except maybe the truck [Sad]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Things You Might Not Know About Portland
Sure, you know about the craft beer, the fancy coffee, and all those awesome food carts. Here are some nuggets about the Rose City you might not have known. [Link]
Mental Floss » How Steven Spielberg's Malfunctioning Sharks Transformed the Movie Business
Before Steven Spielberg became Hollywood royalty, he was just another young director with a giant shark problem. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » According to FBI Director James Comey, taking the time to plan and carry out a racially-based church shooting where one yells "you rape our women and are taking over this country" is not considered terrorism because it wasn't "politic
[link] [267 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Kidisok says FML
Today, while I was in the bathroom at a restaurant, my young son decided to drink the "slushie" I had ordered. We ended up at the hospital because that slushie was actually a margarita. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Facts About 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force'
The longest running original series in Adult Swim history is coming to a close. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Orleans officer shot & killed while transporting suspect, manhunt underway [NewsFlash]
[link] [171 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Saskatoon man subdues neighbor's attacker by beating him with a bat. Bonus: makes him call the cops himself [Hero]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The word of the day is "crack rental." Try to use it in a sentence before lunch [PSA]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You will be able to drive faster on the Autobahn than on the Nürburgring [Sad]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 1.5kg of cocaine found in implants. Now that's a big bust [Fail]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Look West Tonight! Venus and Jupiter Are in the Process of "Converging"
They're gliding across the sky towards each other all month long. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mother of the Year candidate steals her kids' welfare money so she can get a boob job. Bonus: Boob job was botched, now she wants her health insurance to pay for a repair [Facepalm]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Solving the Math Problem in 'Good Will Hunting'
What was the problem, and was it as hard as the movie made it out to be? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Snowflakes-with-tenure take over final exam grading: you got a 35? That's a passing grade, and here's your medal. You got a 99? That's a microaggression. Report to central administration for sensitivity training [Asinine]
[link] [188 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "You shoot like a girl" is a compliment in Arizona [Murica]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Creative Housing
In 2003, student Steven Stanzak found that he couldn’t afford to pay for room and board at New York University, so he took up residence in a subbasement of the school’s Bobst Library. He kept his belongings in storage lockers, showered at the gym, and did his homework at a local McDonald’s. He managed to live this way for eight … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you drink Guinness, you should listen to U2. If you drink Red Stripe, you should listen to Bob Marley. And if you drink Stella Artois, you should listen to Gotye [Obvious]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'Relentlessly gay' fundraiser to cover Baltimore home in rainbows surpasses $30K. Fabulous [Spiffy]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A History of McDonald's Hip-Hop TV Ads: mcdonalds.hiphop
Rapping McNugget MCs, breakdancing Ronald, and tons more. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hot man wants to cool down, so he decides to pour milk all over himself. While naked and dancing. Inside a Walmart. Giggity? [Strange]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » If You Can't Smoke On Planes, Why Are There Still Ashtrays?
By law, even new planes have to have ashtrays. But why, if smoking has been banned in the air for over a decade? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Everyone panic, it's the plague. This is not a repeat of the twelfth century (though it could be) [Scary]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sofa and ottoman [Photoshop]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » This Weekend in History
The Red Telephone, the first Ferris wheel, and Fermat's Last Theorem was solved (mostly). [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Medical examiner says young man died from natural causes. Family insists he died from flesh-eating virus caught while swimming, which is silly because everybody knows vibrio vulnificus is a bacteria [Florida]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Back when us Boomers were kids, we weren't stupid like kids are nowadays, posting pics of themselves sneaking into neighbors' hot tubs [Dumbass]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Cornelis Van Blaaderen and his Floating Safe
After the Titanic, inventors tried to think of ways to preserve items during a sinking. Dutch inventor Cornelis Van Blaaderen came up with his Floating Safe, which never quite caught on.
This site has a brief explanation in English.
This website has the full story, but all in Dutch. Google translate should help. But even if you don't bother, there … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Matilda the 'Alien Cat' just wants to cuddle on Caturday. She's suffering from an eye disorder that makes her look like an anime character [Caturday]
[link] [587 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Sale Tag Fashion
Look hip and let everyone know you got your clothes on sale. Or that you're on sale. Or that you're wearing a giant sale tag. Or something like that.
These are from the new Moschino Resort Collection that's all about the "beauty of the sales floor."
via TrendHunter [Link]
Fark.com RSS » FIFA's $30 million vanity film rakes in $918 in box office receipts. No gooooooooooooooal [Facepalm]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » nightfall8705 says FML
Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML [Link]
GraphJam » Reaction When I Pet Them Who I Pet Reaction
Graph by: Share on Facebook
[Link]
FMyLife » shmarf says FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML [Link]
GraphJam » I'm Still Going to Name My Children After Pokemon
Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: batman , best of week , childhood , ninja turltes , plans , Pokémon Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Fear of Teenagers
Graph by: chrisrichards Tagged: 20s , 30s , 40s , 50s , 60s , elderly , fear , kids , teenagers Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » When Your Ipod is Charged
Graph by: untitleddocument Tagged: always , charge , drive , find , ipod , lost , need , never , parents Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » You Forgot the Pokeball at Ten
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: age , anarchy , mercedes benz , peace , pokeball , time , want Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Sandwich Guide
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , corners , guide , sandwich Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Commencing Time Travel in Three… Two… One…
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , hour , school , summertime , time traveling , work Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Usage of Internet Explorer
Graph by: Ahtin Tagged: better , browser , checking , download , email , internet explorer , microsoft , myspace , Pie Chart , porn , research Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » That's Kinda Like History
Graph by: dawnflash Tagged: annoying , history , Pie Chart , teachers , truancy stories Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Dreams Really Do Come True!
Graph by: dresna (via www.mymodernmet.com) Tagged: film , movies , plots , stereotypes Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » She Might Really Be the One
Graph by: VulgarThings Tagged: flow chart , men , potential , sexytimes , women Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Classic: I Read It Three Times
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: book , reading , understanding , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Why Cars Is the Worst
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cars , easter eggs , Pie Chart , pixar , pizza planet , toy story , truck Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Classic: By the Power of Placebo
I do feel better whenever there's a close button door in elevators. Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: health , medicine , placebo , Placebo Effect , Video Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » (now former) Texas firefighter is today's proud recipient of the Rick Perry 'Dumbest farking thing to come out of a human's mouth this week' award for his Facebook post that the Charleston shooter "needs to be praised for the good
[link] [418 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Former CEO of red light camera vendor pleads guilty to fraud and bribing politicians [Murica]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Double-Jointedness Is Linked to Anxiety
Extreme flexibility has its downsides. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought – he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Facts About Hadrosaurus
Everything you need to know about New Jersey's official state dinosaur. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Tonight on Straight Eye for the Queer Guy
Chief: Tom's got it all wrong. Most of the gay men I meet are eloquent, they're fit, into the arts. Tom's none of this things. He's fat, he's got a mass of body hair, bad breath…it's like he's only gay in his brain.Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Hard Night Last Night, Bobby?
Secretary to coworker: Do you need me to hole punch this copy to scan for the website?Austin, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Department Meeting
Designer: Have you seen [Dustin] around?
Writer: Nope.
Designer: Hmm. I haven’t checked his office yet. 312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Jaguar: Ironically, My Married Name Is ‘Lion’
Young girl: Mr. Lion! Hello, Mr. Lion!Mom: I think that’s a jaguar.Young girl: Hello, Mr. Lion!Mom: That’s not a lion, sweetie, that’s a jaguar.Young girl: Okay, mom, but I can’t say that word. Mr. Lion!Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, WashingtonOverheard by: James [Link]
Overheard In The Office » What Are You, a Communist?
Female coworker to male coworker in next cubicle: I'm sorry, but I have no use for a talking fish!Valley City, Ohio [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dad does what a modern dad does, dresses up like Little Mermaid for his disabled daughter. Bonus: Wins TV station's "Totally Modern Dad" award [Silly]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch the Sunrises and Sunsets of Instagram
A grad student at NYU has figured out a way to make all those sunset photos even more beautiful. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Houses Famous Directors Would Design If They Were Architects
If Alfred Hitchcock designed a house, don't you think it would have plenty of perilous balconies and at least one noose visible through the yellow-tinted windows? If George Lucas went into architecture, he would probably build something extraterrestrial, and a home designed by Tim Burton would look, well, like something out of a Tim Burton film. 
The combination of movie … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Schedule 2nd Interviews
Worker on phone: I’m sorry, we can’t hire you…It’s not that, it’s just that I don’t want to work with you. 3838 NW 13th Street
Gainesville, Florida [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wife tries to run husband and his girlfriend off the … wait, up in the sky: it's a bird, no it's a plane … it's DARWIN MAN [Fail]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » 1010110100101101 says FML
Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Remember the Calico" [Cool]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Mysteries Surrounding Virgil's Life and Work
Nearly 2,000 years after Virgil wrote "The Aeneid," even the most basic facts about the author are still a source of controversy. [Link]
Mental Floss » 'Inside Out' is Already Part of 'The Pixar Theory'
The latest Pixar film fits right into one man's mega-complex 2013 fan theory. Here's how. [Link]
Mental Floss » How 'Jane Fonda's Workout' Conquered the World
In the '80s, everyone owned a pair of leg warmers. This is why. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop whatever's going on here [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Let These Listless Jellyfish Lull You Into the Weekend
The ocean contains an endless array of amazing animal beauty. [Link]
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