John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Building owner sued by graffiti artists for painting over their work, because it violates the U.S. Visual Artists Rights Acts [Asinine]

Saturday 13 June 23:45:46 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [209 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Will you spend $8 on a single chocolate-chip cookie? The folks at Untitled are banking that you will [Interesting]

Saturday 13 June 23:27:51 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [80 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 13 June 22:42:25 UTC 2015

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It turns out millennials are actually strong-willed, resourceful individuals who favor happiness and a strong work ethic over greed and laziness. You know, the complete opposite of baby boomers [Interesting]

Saturday 13 June 22:40:51 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Major Facts About 'Bull Durham'

Saturday 13 June 22:00:00 UTC 2015

You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball, you read on. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you are holding territory in northern Syria, please step forward. Not so fast, ISIS [Spiffy]

Saturday 13 June 20:34:53 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In case you did not know, during the summer kids are more likely to get injured. TO THE ROMEROCOPTER [Obvious]

Saturday 13 June 20:17:09 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tokyo restaurant's amazing $5 lunch has all the key words missing from American fast food: nutritious, delicious, filling [Spiffy]

Saturday 13 June 20:06:16 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rage [Photoshop]

Saturday 13 June 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [45 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » notfuckingpaidenough says FML

Saturday 13 June 18:54:12 UTC 2015

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML [Link]

FMyLife » alyssaamarante says FML

Saturday 13 June 18:54:11 UTC 2015

Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California oil spill cleanup cost reaches $62 million. Officials at Plains All American fear being billed for three hours of profits [Followup]

Saturday 13 June 18:30:31 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iranian women are protesting by showing off their hair. Long beautiful hair. Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen [Spiffy]

Saturday 13 June 17:40:42 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [169 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Panama City Beach is banning what most spring breakers go to Panama City Beach for [Florida]

Saturday 13 June 17:20:08 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Once dominant fast food and restaurant chains that are now history. Subby could really go for some Steak & Ale right now [Interesting]

Saturday 13 June 16:38:18 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [439 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lawsuit claims man died of a botched pedicure. Attorneys for the man's family vow the responsible parties will know the agony of defeat [Strange]

Saturday 13 June 16:37:48 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indiana loses its collective mind after the state saw its first black bear in 144 years [Followup]

Saturday 13 June 16:06:44 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Bubble Gum is Made

Saturday 13 June 16:00:00 UTC 2015

Just pour plastic, rubber, plenty of sugar, and some food coloring in a vat…then MIX, EXTRUDE, and CHEW! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study by the Romero Institute for the Glaringly Apparent proves that dogs are loyal to their owners [Obvious]

Saturday 13 June 15:41:19 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swiss court slashes the richest divorce payout in history. Ex-wife's $4.8 billion award cut to a barely livable $604 million [Followup]

Saturday 13 June 15:18:28 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » JESUS CHRISTUS, es ist ein Elefant, bleibt im Wagen! [Scary]

Saturday 13 June 15:15:46 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The OPM breach now seems to include complete blackmail kits for anyone who applied for clearance, and anyone who knew them. But hey, you get a year of free credit monitoring. Subby delighted to finally use new tag [Facepalm]

Saturday 13 June 14:31:27 UTC 2015

Facepalm [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tips on when to seek medical treatment for a cut. Bottom line, if you think you might need it, you probably need it [Interesting]

Saturday 13 June 14:26:23 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tara Schultz is shocked to discover a memoir about growing up during the Iranian revolution contains — wait for it — violence. This was a 200 level English lit class, so she "expected Batman and Robin." Tara Schultz, welcome to Fark [Dumbas

Saturday 13 June 14:01:25 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [402 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Things We Learned from Paul Reubens on 'Bullseye with Jesse Thorn'

Saturday 13 June 14:00:00 UTC 2015

He grew up in a circus town, he was on The Gong Show 15 times, and he appeared on The Dating Game…as Pee-wee Herman. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More people would bike if we could just eliminate cul-de-sacs [Interesting]

Saturday 13 June 13:59:21 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wannabe hipsters, in order to stay up with the times you need to dump that piss swill beer called PBR and step it up a notch with a fine beer called Narragansett from Rhode Island if you want to be like a Williamsburg hipster [Obvious]

Saturday 13 June 13:52:30 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Really, so you need to fly into a rage and threaten arrest because your neighbor has a garden gnome with a bare bum? You're an ass, Mr. Ex-policeman [Stupid]

Saturday 13 June 13:28:16 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: U.S. Coast Guard offloads 328 kilograms of cocaine, 3,100 pounds of marijuana, worth $13.7 million into Miami on Friday morning. Fark: Article doesn't say what they did with all the drugs (w/video) [Cool]

Saturday 13 June 13:13:15 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Calling in the cows

Saturday 13 June 13:03:26 UTC 2015

Play trombone. Watch cows magically appear.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's tough to write a good headline [Amusing]

Saturday 13 June 13:00:55 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these leaders [Photoshop]

Saturday 13 June 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've been waiting too long in an emergency room for the staff to attend to you, the best way to get their attention is to hold a lighter up to the hospital's sprinkler system and watch as everyone leaves the building [Dumbass]

Saturday 13 June 12:20:55 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Ice Cream as Health Food

Saturday 13 June 12:06:13 UTC 2015

Original ad here. (Scroll to the left.) [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tiger Tim ended up at a shelter and became so distraught that he wouldn't touch his food because his heartless human gave him up over new couches. Please help him find a new home by Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 13 June 12:00:00 UTC 2015

Caturday [link] [665 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Weekend in History

Saturday 13 June 12:00:00 UTC 2015

The first monkey in space, Miranda rights, Disneyland's Monorail opens, and more! [Link]

FMyLife » nancypants1124 says FML

Saturday 13 June 11:36:50 UTC 2015

Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 13 June 11:26:48 UTC 2015

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know who ELSE may have hidden a treasure map leading to a £50m haul in a sheet of music? [Interesting]

Saturday 13 June 11:20:33 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [24 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » silverspud says FML

Saturday 13 June 10:52:51 UTC 2015

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Video of a crazy shootout in Dallas with an armored van [NewsFlash]

Saturday 13 June 10:17:02 UTC 2015

NewsFlash [link] [246 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Saturday 13 June 8:06:22 UTC 2015

candy,pedophiles,people,problems,venn diagram Graph by: Unknown Tagged: candy , pedophiles , people , problems , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why buying a car sucks.

Saturday 13 June 8:06:20 UTC 2015

Graph by: fdsao Tagged: buying , car , carry , family , mileage , minivans , reasonable , suck , vehicles , venn diagram , want Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Made of wood Weighs the same as a duck Monty Python Paradox A WITCH!!!!

Saturday 13 June 8:06:18 UTC 2015

duck monty python movies paradox quotes venn diagram weight witch wood - 3444673280 Graph by: holymasterchief Tagged: duck , monty python , movies , paradox , quotes , venn diagram , weight , witch , wood Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Proper Usage of "Oh Snap!"

Saturday 13 June 8:06:17 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: oh snap , tell , told , usage Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Saturday 13 June 8:06:16 UTC 2015

Awkward,facebook,family,internet,social networking,venn diagram Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Awkward , facebook , family , internet , social networking , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Only 2 Percent to Go

Saturday 13 June 8:06:15 UTC 2015

computers,install,percentage Graph by: Dblcdblu Tagged: computers , install , percentage Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 'Tis the Season For Sweaters

Saturday 13 June 8:06:12 UTC 2015

Cheezburger Image 5587523072 Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 13 June 8:06:10 UTC 2015

band aid Bar Graph dirty glue wont-come-off - 3875123968 Graph by: phunkie_junkie Tagged: band aid , Bar Graph , dirty , glue , wont-come-off Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » April Tools

Saturday 13 June 8:06:06 UTC 2015

Graph by: (via Mashable) Tagged: april fools , infographic , jokes , pranks Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But It's so Tasty!

Saturday 13 June 8:05:57 UTC 2015

beverages exercise gatorade life sports venn diagram And kind of salty. Graph by: Strudel19 Tagged: beverages , exercise , gatorade , life , sports , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Morning Commute Is Never Boring

Saturday 13 June 8:05:56 UTC 2015

morning commute,streetcar,transit Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: morning commute , streetcar , transit Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 13 June 8:05:51 UTC 2015

equation gives you wings horns horse pegasus red bull unicorn - 4120689152 Graph by: Alpha0Force Tagged: equation , gives you wings , horns , horse , pegasus , red bull , unicorn Share on Facebook [Link]

Futility Closet » Riddles in the Dark

Saturday 13 June 6:48:30 UTC 2015

In 1904, a 12-year-old J.R.R. Tolkien sent this rebus to a family friend, Father Francis Morgan. What does it say? Click for solution … Please support Futility Closet on Patreon! [Link]

FMyLife » BrakesNotBumpers says FML

Saturday 13 June 6:39:01 UTC 2015

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F…" the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school senior's clever yearbook quote comes as a surprise … especially to his parents [Hero]

Saturday 13 June 6:38:51 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Evolution of 'Dude'

Saturday 13 June 6:02:34 UTC 2015

Dudes have been around since the 1880s, but they've changed a lot since then. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 13 June 5:13:15 UTC 2015

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Americans Are Becoming Less Social

Saturday 13 June 3:30:00 UTC 2015

Over the last 40 years, Americans have become less social. A new report [PDF] in the City Observatory by economist Joe Cortright examines our social lives and social capital, focusing on how socioeconomics, technology, and segregation—both voluntary and involuntary—have affected our relationships with those around us. Cortright says people have become increasingly disconnected as they've shifted away from community resources—like … [Link]

Mental Floss » Large Hadron Collider Technology Is Rescuing Historic Audio

Saturday 13 June 3:00:00 UTC 2015

Particle physicists Carl Haber and Vitaliy Fadeyev have discovered a way to use Large Hadron Collider technology to preserve historic audio. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are bad tattoos, and then there is "tattoo that make doctors think you have cancer" bad [Amusing]

Saturday 13 June 2:54:06 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Swift Facts About Velociraptor

Saturday 13 June 2:31:30 UTC 2015

Everything you think you know about Velociraptor is probably wrong. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Beautiful Science of Murmurating Starlings

Saturday 13 June 2:30:00 UTC 2015

The sight of murmurating starlings is pretty awe-inspiring. But the science behind the mass, orchestrated bird dance is even more so. [Link]

Mental Floss » One Man's Donated Blood Has Saved More Than Two Million Lives

Saturday 13 June 2:00:00 UTC 2015

James Harrison, 78, has given blood nearly every week since he was legally old enough. [Link]

Mental Floss » Anatomy of a Grammar Nerd

Saturday 13 June 1:30:00 UTC 2015

Are you an Oxford comma enthusiast? Does the word "irregardless" make you cringe? If so, you might just be a grammar nerd. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Adult Spins on Kid Classics

Saturday 13 June 1:00:00 UTC 2015

When you grow up, you don't have to put away your childish things—you just need to soak them in alcohol. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This note just posted: Body Found on 3M Campus [Sad]

Saturday 13 June 0:35:03 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Peek Inside a Japanese Owl Cafe

Saturday 13 June 0:30:00 UTC 2015

Japan has a plethora of adorable animal cafes—rabbit cafe, anyone?—but the most exciting, in my opinion, are the owl cafes. Now, thanks to YouTuber Alodia Gosiengfiao, owl lovers everywhere can take a virtual tour of Ikefukurou Owl Cafe in Ikebukuro, Japan. The small space features 14 different owls, including a stern-looking barn owl. The domesticated owls appear to be content … [Link]

FMyLife » poor baby says FML

Saturday 13 June 0:08:35 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML [Link]

FMyLife » rcarn says FML

Saturday 13 June 0:08:34 UTC 2015

Today, my friends decided to throw a going away party because I'm moving. It would have been great if I had actually been invited. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sweet ride [Photoshop]

Saturday 13 June 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » People Aren’t Just Afraid of the Dark, They’re Afraid of Nighttime

Saturday 13 June 0:00:00 UTC 2015

Nighttime fears aren't just about the lack of light, a new study finds. [Link]

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