Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » justin bieber's nutsack says FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Columbia, Missouri Police Department says they can no longer dispose of prescription drugs. No word yet if it's because they already have enough [Misc]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The D-Day landings at Normandy occurred 71 years ago today. Here is the riveting story of two first wave rifle companies on Omaha Beach [Hero]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Totes adorable goats of Sunflower Farms in Cumberland, Maine go viral, again. And this time they're wearing pajamas: "They did not object at all. In fact, I think they relished the idea of wearing pajamas" (w/video) [Sappy]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents of the year candidates are arrested after their older son reported to school officials that his two younger brothers were locked in a room at home with no food or water while their parents worked during the day [Sick]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » iamfab says FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Origami Robotics
MIT researchers have developed a fingertip-sized robot that can assemble itself, origami-style, before walking, swimming, climbing, and carrying objects twice its own weight. They hope to apply even tinier models to medical uses, but for now, the current version is pretty cute, as far as robots go. * Sweden's famously generous parental leave policies, including time specifically designated for dads, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Courting a woman was so much easier in the 1980s when all you need was a roll of quarters and an available Pac-Man machine. "It doesn't really seem like that long ago" [Sappy]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy getting to the point [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "There was an engagement ring in there that would have been John's great-great grandmother's. It survived two World Wars, but it didn't survive the American police paramilitary operation" [Murica]
[link] [224 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip for the police: there is a difference between saltine cracker crumbs and crack cocaine [Facepalm]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Egg rationing has begun in America. And that's no yolk [Scary]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The job of the Colombian National Protection Unit is to protect people at risk of kidnapping. Their chief has an 11 year old daughter. You can guess where this is going [Scary]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » cbarr98 says FML
Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "(Drawdy) said he saw it on 'Dateline' approximately eight years ago and this is where he got the idea to steal the checks. And in the meantime, he has actually studied fraud" [Florida]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pedo sting nets workers from Disney, Sea World, Universal, and a youth counselor who showed up to the sting thinking he was about to have sex with a 12-year-old. He arrived in a vehicle with a specialty licence plate reading: "Invest in Children&
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Is "American Pharoah" Spelled Like That?
Blame the Internet. [Link]
FMyLife » CassidyQueen says FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People still can't decide whether to put one space after a period or two. Even teachers disagree, although the correct answer is quite obviously one [Obvious]
[link] [233 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We're Not Alone in the Universe, Marsha
Employee #1 on audit day: Did you notice the unnaturally large head of the male accountant?
Employee #2: Oh my god, I noticed that last year during audit! Menasha, Wisconsin [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Order Supplies
Co-worker #1: You have a thing for my stapler, don’t you?
Co-worker #2: I have to play with something. Better the stapler than myself. 127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM On That Note, It’s the Weekend
Co-worker #1: What is a good exercise for the lower abs?
Co-worker #2: Well, I can think of one exercise that’s really good for the abs…
Co-worker #3: yeah, but only if he can last longer than 5 minutes. The copy repairman pops out from under the copier. Repairman: Well ladies, it’s been an entertaining afternoon. 8565 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » As Adam Said to Eve
Project manager to programming team: This is the first time I've seen it. It's already long, and it's getting bigger. I don't know how big it will get, but this is probably going to be hard.Kansas City, Missouri [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Simpsons Characters Who Appeared in Season One
[Link]
Mental Floss » Watch 11,000 Marbles Run Wild
Prepare to lose your marbles. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Font frustration condition felt dyslexic test of reading Helvetica like. Subby has it [Interesting]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » fugly says FML
Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh deer, rejected ugly-ass baby white-face fawn finds a new home at an animal farm [Sappy]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teacher pleads guilty to having sex with fifteen-year-old student. Farked: Is sentenced to 6-30 years in prison. Appeals sentence to state Supreme Court and wins. Coup De Farked: Is re-sentenced to 10-40 years in prison [Ironic]
[link] [255 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And this is why you should always be nice to bus drivers [Hero]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Great Impostor charged with identity theft. Great Pretender still wearing his heart like a crown, pretending that you're still around [Fail]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tips on living from this 101 year old Brooklyn grandma [Spiffy]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Fun Facts About Deinonychus
The Velociraptor has become a dino celebrity, but its fearsome North American cousin deserves some respect. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another sinkhole opens up in the middle of a busy Florida street as Satan continues to get back land taken from him centuries ago [Florida]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Second wave of gentrification irks hipster dive bar owner. "Bar 107 is not the Rosa Parks of gentrification" [Ironic]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Second grade students form huge line to have yearbooks signed by custodian who looks nothing like Matt Damon [Sappy]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » This Weekend in Recent History
Tetris released in 1984, D-Day in 1944, the first drive-in movie theater in 1933, and more! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fennel is the new kale. "Fennel is rich in nutrients" [Spiffy]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this smug little bastid [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Can of Soda vs. Liquid Nitrogen
Let's take a Diet Coke and freeze it. What could possibly go wrong? [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Burning Belmont Questions
Everything you need to know about the most elusive jewel in racing's Triple Crown. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Headline: Rocky Mountain High produces some undesirable side effects. Article: We did some research and come to find out, we couldn't find any undesirable side effects of this Rocky Mountain High. At all [Spiffy]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Saudi Arabia shoots down Scud missile. Could a Jesus Jones reunion and another Bush presidency be far behind? [Interesting]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Looking For Roomates says FML
Today, one of my two roommates moved out without warning after we discovered that the rent hadn't been paid in full in a month, the utility bill hadn't been paid in two months, and the electric bill hadn't been paid in three months. We found out when the power was turned off. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Free Elvis record with panties
Eddie Fisher, Perry Como the other options. 1950s, I assume. via itishifi
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Britain's top 10 favorite cheeses. Certainly a great shopping list for Brits' next sojourn to the local cheese shop [Spiffy]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stop by the "Cat Library" and check out a kitten to keep you company on Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [749 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML [Link]
GraphJam » What People Do When They Find a Paperclip
Graph by: 456789yay Tagged: break , find , hold , paper , paperclip , Pie Chart , throw , use Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Unknown
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: emotions , i-dont-know , indecisiveness , no idea , Pie Chart , unsure Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Well, As Far As Brains Go, I Got the Lion's Share
Graph by: (via movd) Tagged: anatomy , lion , lion king , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Untitled
Graph by: Purple-Grrl Tagged: adults , equations , fire , fun , math , supervision Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Computer Maintenance Steps
Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: best of week , computer , freak out , maintenance Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Untitled
Graph by: krizleykrislo Tagged: bad , clearance , drinks , feel , find , flirting , free , happy , jokes , money , Office , racist , save , stealing , supplies , venn diagram , work Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Chance Someone Will Get on the Elevator with You
LoL by: Phantom_Meb Tagged: elevator , fart , situational humor Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Shopping List: milk, eggs, bread
LoL by: aardvarkage Tagged: food , men , milk , shopping , women Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Snuggies
Graph by: Us Tagged: blanket , buy , clothing , flowchart , hands , look , robe , Snuggies , stupid , use Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Don't Forget to Change Your Margins
Oh, and make the periods a bigger font size. Graph by: AncroKT Tagged: papers , Pie Chart , pie charts , school , writing Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: nacholibre4497 Tagged: closet , justin bieber , narnia , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: julio_wrathchild Tagged: books , eclipse , fans , flow chart , no reasoning , twilight Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Can You Get Me Cheap Flights?
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: mile high club , Pie Chart , pilot , rich Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » How a man feels about peeing by location
Graph by: chezzxpert101 Tagged: bar graphs , building , feel , feelings , grand canyon , location , man , peeing , side , snow , toilet Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Demographic Breakdown of Miley Cyrus Fans
LoL by: vrojr Tagged: college , demographic , fans , miley cyrus , Music , perverts , pop stars , teen Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » The Deadliest Shape
Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , deadly , disease , geometry , shape Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Americans' Tolerance for World Cup Soccer
Graph by: nickv84 Tagged: american , england , enthusiasm , losses , soccer , ties , wins , world cup Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » When you will take a sip of coffee while driving
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: coffee , drink , driving , highway , merging , Pie Chart , railroad , red light , sip , tracks Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » Is It My Lucky Day?
Graph by: cornstalker Tagged: double parking , douchebags , parking spots , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]
GraphJam » No, I Really Don't Want to See the Scars
Graph by: Alpha957 Tagged: conversation , grandfathers , medical issues , Pie Chart , scar Share on Facebook [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A blunt message from an old stoner to new pot smokers: "Salute your elders who smoked when it was still dangerous, and get off my lawn, yo" [Hero]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nine-year-old's giant cabbage earns him a lot of lettuce [Spiffy]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » A Strange Pet
Original article here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » (o\_/o) c= = = mlm (;_;) mlm [Dumbass]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » yuck says FML
Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pittsburgh's transit authority uses slogans on buses like "Rockin' Rollin'," ''Movin' Groovin'," "Movin' Shakin'," and "Ziggin Zaggin," but discovers one of them appears questionable whe
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » The Friendship Theorem
Image: Wikimedia Commons If every pair of people in a group have exactly one friend in common, then there’s always one person who is a friend to everyone. This rather heartwarming fact was proven by Paul Erdös, Alfréd Rényi, and Vera T. Sós in 1966. It’s sometimes more cynically known as the paradox of the politician. The Erdös proof uses combinatorics … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's why roller coasters shouldn't crash, but do anyway [Scary]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oslo is the most white trash redneck city in Europe, according to new study [Scary]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Most seven-year-olds want an XBox or a GoPro for their birthday. This seven-year-old wanted to ride his bike the 15 miles and 3,000 feet up to Glacier Park's still-snowy Logan Pass–and he got his wish [Cool]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's worse, your breast cancer surgeon posting pics of your boobies on the nets, or your twelve-year-old son finding those photos in a Google search at a birthday party? [Creepy]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Study Shows Chimps Can Learn to Cook
At least, they think they're cooking. Earlier studies have already shown that when taught by humans, bonobos, a close relative of chimps, can learn to cook their food. But now a new study indicates that the primates can develop the concept of cooking and the patience for delayed gratification all on their own. The research was conducted by Alexandra Rosati, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Three years ago, this kid was lured into a death chamber complete with his pre-dug grave and shot in the head by his in-laws. He lived. He set himself on fire today … and lived again [Sick]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In this corner of Times Square we have Minnie Mouse… and in this corner of Times Square we have Hello Kitty, let's have a full-on brawl in Times Square [Strange]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Minor Blood Test Can Tell You Every Infection You’ve Ever Had
A new scan can identify every virus a person has had using just a single drop of blood. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Science teacher suspended after sexual harassment claims. Naw, just kidding. He used cell jammer in class to keep kids focused on school work. "If we had parents trying to contact students … that could have been a serious issue" [Florida]
[link] [179 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Governor of Nebraska: I will execute prisoners just to spite you [Interesting]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » In 1938, 'The New York Times' Thought Cheeseburgers Were a Weird New Fad
People love to make fun of the New York Times' trend section—their umpteen pieces on this millennial craze have been called "hate-reads," and their dissection of cultural norms such as oversharing, defriending people in real life, and chopped salad at lunch as "trends" can be hilarious and infuriatingly obvious. But while their pieces perhaps aren't exactly timely, they will certainly … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One of the first things your flight instructor ought to teach you is to not walk into the propeller [Sad]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Missing library artwork is found in: A) a house; B) a car; or C) the library [Amusing]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Hail, Tornadoes, Floods batter Colorado" Also smoke, food shortages and the munchies. The Apocalypse starts [Scary]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How 'Game of Thrones' Created the Epic Final Scene in "Hardhome"
Book readers and non-book readers alike were delighted by the impressive sequence. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'Frisk me, I've been very, very bad, officer' [Amusing]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Graphic: Keys To The Matchup: Barcelona vs. Juventus
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Authorities search for man reported missing, find armed robbery suspect instead. Yeah, it's the same guy [Strange]
[link] [5 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japanese firm sells human pillow cellphone holder because of course they do [Creepy]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this nosy specimen [Photoshop]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Beautiful Early 20th Century Photo-Micrographs of Nature
These days, thanks to ever-advancing technology, having a private portrait session with the smallest of creepy critters and common creatures is fairly easy. But in the early 20th century, photographing a magnified specimen was a lot more complicated. In order to take the images that fill the pages of Richard Kerr's Nature Through Microscope and Camera (1909) [PDF], photographer Arthur … [Link]
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