Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Weird Universe » Beware Bad Beard Bacteria
Beards can contain as much fecal bacteria as a toilet. Depending, of course, on the hygiene of the beard wearer. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teens choose wrong neighborhood to engage in drive-by eggings, end up being detained by over 100 residents. "They just formed a human wall and prevented them from leaving" [Cool]
[link] [136 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Jeez, Again With the Fire Ants
Female coworker: Babe, I need this one. (hands it to him)Male coworker: But look, that one is $20 but here's one that's only $8.Female coworker: But I want this one–it's the one day instead of seven.Male coworker: Why? Is one day really worth the extra $12?Female coworker: Well, let's see. If your wang was coated with fire ants, would it be … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Before going to a swingers' party, be sure to print directions. Neighbors are tired of the kilted, pony-tailed gentlemen showing up to the wrong address [Fail]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Toga party gets out of control, leads to gladiator-style melee [Amusing]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Different Types of Whisky Drinkers." Subby is definitely "The Troll" [Misc]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Demand for new Chick-fil-A in Washington State prompts traffic control measures. It's not a press release, it's your local news [Asinine]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tired of your job? See if any of these 10 signs will tell you it is indeed time to quit [Interesting]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Fun Facts About Ron Popeil, In 5 Easy Installments
Set it! Forget it! And say happy birthday to the godfather of infomercials. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What teen hasn't dreamed of getting drunk, stealing a street sweeper, then crashing it into a utility pole? [Dumbass]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cops investigate whether kiss between two seven-year-old classmates was "unnatural." Thanks, Obama [Florida]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this castaway [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police pulled over this couple on their first date. On the 2 year anniversary of their first date, they're pulled over again with shocking results [Sappy]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New study shows that what you wear affects how you think and behave. Apparently, subby behaves like a Hawaiian tourist on a three-day bender [Interesting]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Baltimore curfew has been lifted, effective immediately. Maryland National Guard to begin withdrawal over the next few days [Followup]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (May 3, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M421, May 3, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Saudi Arabia’s very first sex-accessory shop (in the holy city of Mecca) should be opening soon, according to news reports–operated by a Moroccan Muslim, backed by the German adult-shop mega-retailer Beate Uhse, and supposedly fully compliant with Islamic law. Owner Abdelaziz Aouragh told Agence … [Link]
Mental Floss » People Use More Electricity If They Autopay Their Bills
Autopaying your bills may not be the smartest way to go after all. A new study of 16 years of billing records from a South Carolina electric company suggests that people who use automatic payments end up consuming more power. Around half of households with Internet access in the U.S. pay bills by autopay, according to a 2013 survey. However, … [Link]
FMyLife » Jbheller says FML
Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Upside-Down Sleeper. says FML
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » HS student tries to hack into school's computer system in order to change a failed grade. Unable to do so, proceeds to light computer lab on fire. Finds out that besides Fire, F also stands for Five Felony charges and FAIL [Fail]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finally, an article which most Farkers can appreciate [Spiffy]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 101-year-old man pulled from Nepal earthquake rubble after being buried for a week, immediately tells all the rescuers to get the fark off his farking lawn, dammit [Spiffy]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » See Sketches From the Golden Age of the Auto Industry
During the so-called “golden age” of the auto industry in Detroit, designers were encouraged to dream big. A 1946 advertisement beckoned: “Become A Highly Paid Auto Stylist” with “an open door to a bright future as a designer,” a job that required no special qualifications, “just your interest in the era of new postwar cars.” This lofty thinking yielded gorgeous … [Link]
Mental Floss » 16 Bizarro Ads From 'Scientific American,' December 1881
Cure asthma, deafness, and bronchitis! And grow hair anywhere with Dyke's Beard Elixir! Ripped from the pages of a 19th-century marvel. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I love my UPS man because he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it [Dumbass]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » gross says FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML [Link]
FMyLife » tupe says FML
Today, my little sister said I was drinking my juice in a very annoying way and decided to slap me across the face with a raw chicken to shut me up. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ever Feel Like Hamsters Have a Lot in Common with High School Girls?
Peon #1: I bought my son a small hamster when he was about seven or eight. We didn't know it at the time, but the hamster was pregnant with a litter of nine. After she had given birth to her pups, we noticed that she started biting their little heads off. My son was very upset because of this, and so … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Saliva Monologues
Female cube dweller: I'm saving your spit.Male cube dweller: My spit is great!Winnipeg
CanadiaOverheard by: the Student [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Downside of Being Secretary to the Lord
Peon: So, why did you come in if you're sick?
Sick secretary: I came in because my boss needed me.
Peon (looking around office): But he's not even here!
Sick secretary (grimly): Oh, he's here. Believe me. He's here. He's definitely here. Kansas City, Missouri Overheard by: hope he's not here [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Have You Ever Seen a Horse Slip on a Banana Peel? Disaster
Office peon on phone: … It’s almost like you’re putting the monkey before the horse.S. Lima Street
Englewood, Colorado [Link]
Overheard In The Office » What? A Girl Can't Get Enough Of It!
Office manager: Should I have Bob* install that extra RAM while you're gone?IT guy: Yes, he can be my RAM man.Office manager, after pause: Don't ever say that again.Las Vegas, NevadaOverheard by: I'm so going to tell everybody [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Number Fours Are When a Baby Comes Out
Engineer: Damn, I'm tired. I was up all night with a case of the number threes.
VP: Number threes?
Engineer: You know, when you think you have to go number two, but actually you have to puke in the bathtub. Paterson, New Jersey [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Researchers claim kids don't care if you swap out french fries for fruit in their "happy" meals. Of course, researchers also claim aliens live on the moon, Bigfoot exists, and lizard people have secretly infiltrated the government [Unlike
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » North Dakota Highway Patrol officer forced to resign after failing to meet quota for traffic tickets and drug arrests [Interesting]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » See, like that hashtag like totally worked. Well, that and a lot of guns and tanks and soldiers [Followup]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Drone Graffiti
The era of "drone graffiti" was ushered in on Wednesday when graffiti-artist KATSU used a drone to spray red lines on a Calvin Klein billboard in New York City. Wired says, "By all accounts, it is the first time that a drone has been deployed for a major act of public vandalism." KATSU says, "It turned out surprisingly well. It’s … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rich people problems, 2015: No room to park all the fight fans' private jets at Las Vegas airport [Amusing]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this seat right over here [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Wedding receptions [CSB]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Eternal Servitude says FML
Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML [Link]
FMyLife » imtheshit says FML
Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » From Christianity to dirty martinis, perhaps no other food has impacted Western civilization more than the humble olive [Interesting]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 3PM Coffee/Cigarette Break
Co-worker #1: Ah, beat me to it!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, it’s the little victories that get you through the day.
Co-worker #3: …Yeah, that or drugs. 375 Hudson Street
New York, NY Overheard by: Paul Lamb [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two drunk teens, one 1,500-lb. crocodile. Darwin takes aim, misses [Dumbass]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to try and grow tomatoes in your garden this summer, then you better surround the plants with borage, chives, marigolds, nasturtiums, basil, calendula, carrots, hot peppers, sage, onions, garlic, and leaf lettuce [Unlikely]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man gets drunk. News: And calls the police on himself numerous times. Fark: Right before getting behind the wheel, going airborne several times and hitting a Fry's Electronics store sign [Dumbass]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Guillermo Gómez-Peña
If only I could make it out to Santa Rosa, CA, to see Guillermo Gómez-Peña in his upcoming performance. I am sure my consciousness would be raised to Olympian levels. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you just hate when the doctor counts the sponges after your operation and finds that he's one short? [Fail]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » Famous Gingers in History
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: conan , gingers , infographic , orangutans , red heads , Ron Weasley , souls Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Current Science Research Budget
Graph by: Willosaur360 Tagged: affect , alien , Bar Graph , budget , cancer , cure , current , gadgets , internet , life , people , research , science , swine flu , TV , weird Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: mr.qwerty Tagged: brain , cute , dogs , dumb , flow chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Atheist Barbie
Quantifying Everything For Great Justice Graph by: (via Blaghag) Tagged: atheism , Barbie , best of week , god , Memes , religion , richard dawkins , snopes Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » The Reason I Loved the Atkins Craze
Graph by: (via aisthetes.tumblr.com) Tagged: diet , food , lettuce , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Ten Year Olds Have the Best Gaydar
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: gay marriage , gaydar , Pie Chart , xbox live Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Happy Weekend Day!
Graph by: xXPeaceLoveRockXx Tagged: columbus , europe , holidays , indigenous peoples , monday , Pie Chart , weekends Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » The Song That Will Go On
Graph by: SammyPrimer Tagged: celine dion , Pie Chart , titanic Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: sherryking Tagged: backpack , dora , kids , muzzy , nickelodeon , Pie Chart , spanish , television , the explora Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Even Dinosaurs Nom
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , carnivore , dinosaurs , herbivores , omnomnom Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Cars Are So Unreliable
Graph by: Micd00gs Tagged: cars , driving , horror , movies , Pie Chart , thriller Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: surfingkittehdawg Tagged: amirite , concert , justin bieber , music these days , Pie Chart , puberty , talent , water bottle Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » It's All Covered In Hair Now
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: ball , game , Pie Chart , ping pong Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Relationship Dynamics
Graph by: dob86 Tagged: dynamics , girlfriend , relationship , right , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Gotta Start My Day With Sugar
Graph by: yourmalefactor Tagged: cereal , frosting , mini-wheats , noms , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Harry Potter and the Melodramatic Copycat
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cedric diggory , Flame war , Harry Potter , melodramatic , Pie Chart , twilight Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Reasons I Stopped Playing An RPG
Graph by: karon21 Tagged: beat , boredom , forgot , games , Pie Chart , role playing game , RPG , save , stop , win Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cops , driving , paranoia , Pie Chart , speeding , traffic Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Wait, How Are You Supposed to Play Them?
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: crash , dominos , games , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Vehicle I Expected To Have At Age 33
Graph by: jsiegendorf Tagged: acura , adult , age , f-16 , kid , lamborghini , Line Graph , mercedes benz , minivans , space ship , teen , toyota , vehicles Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Usage of a Home Gym
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: after , Bar Graph , bought , days , gym , home , month , week Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam »
Graph by: lprd Tagged: apple , autocorrect , iphone , its-a-phone , Pie Chart , spelling Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » GLaDOS > T-Pain
[Link]
GraphJam » Balloon Animals I Can Make
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: art , balloon animals , demetri martin Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Go Team Apocalypse!
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: abs , bella , edward , go team venture , Jacob , Pie Chart , twilight Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » Wheel of College
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: college , debt , wheel of fortune Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » There might be only one thing that can save the Astrodome from certain demise, and that's a beach with white sand, blue water, palm trees and lots of tourists wearing shorts and bikinis just 35 miles south of Berlin [Spiffy]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some Indian prankster realizes prestigious university uses facial recognition software that can't distinguish between human and animal faces. Tricks the system into admitting a cow [Amusing]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ross store manager set new standard for being total jerk [Fail]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Misterioso
In his 1772 Treatise on the Art of Decyphering, Philip Thicknesse suggests a scheme for hiding messages in musical compositions: 
At the bottom of the page is an example. “If a musick-master be required to play it, he will certainly think it an odd, as well as a very indifferent, composition; but neither he, or any other person, will suspect … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Plz no so scare very large WOW what r u doing concern such afraid [Obvious]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML [Link]
FMyLife » wellfuck says FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. 2 hours of amazing music from Juneau, Alaska hosted live by a farker (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT) [Spiffy]
[link] [155 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mormon Church issues first statement on health of its president, presumably on gold tablets [Followup]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If(time == powf(2, 31)){ everybody.setPanic(true); } [Repeat]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rare guide to Scottish cultural references found, and written in English. To start with: WTF is Irn-Bru? [Cool]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » tumblrinas_at_work says FML
Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas' education system finally has something to clap about: A 31% increase in STDs among high school students [Obvious]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why the Company Abandoned “Everclear Thursdays”
Boss: Have you seen Tina today?Loudmouth: Yeah, at 1 am, passed out in the shrubbery!DeKalb, IllinoisOverheard by: also hungover [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Would a Richard Gere Joke Here Be So 1998?
I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when this exchange about guinea pigs between two of my co-workers (I'll use their initials, l and e, to designate them) came seemingly out of nowhere:L: "you can't keep guinea pigs in their cages all the time! You have to let them run wild and free!" **brief pause** "once a week."E: … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ideal temperature for criminals found to be 64 degrees Fahrenheit. Any hotter and they get worn out running [Interesting]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Depression Is Fantastic for Mother Earth
Middle-aged woman: Are you going anywhere for the holidays?Elderly man, clearly disappointed: No–I'm not up to traveling this year.Middle-aged woman, excitedly: Good for you! Save those carbon credits!Penn Quarter
Washington, DCOverheard by: Jonathan [Link]
The Onion » Sports News: Report: Philippines Citizens Currently Watching Their Congressman Fight A Guy On TV
[Link]
The Onion » Photo Finish: Trainer Applies Fresh $100 Bill To Floyd Mayweather’s Bleeding Eyelid
[Link]
The Onion » Photo Finish: Floyd Mayweather Enters Ring Inside Cocoon Of Championship Belts
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » You're going to have a hard time convincing people that you're not a crazy ex-girlfriend if, after breaking into your ex-boyfriend's home and ransacking the place, you get arrested and poop all over the back seat of the police car [Florid
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police trying to manage May Day protests in Seattle were called to remove a shirtless man from inside a basketball hoop. And then things went rapidly downhill after that [Dumbass]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Final Trip Preparations
Boss: Will my BlackBerry work in Thailand?
IT: Yeah, it will work anywhere in Europe. One Allen Center
Houston, Texas [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Who cares about the juleps, let's talk about what to serve your guests for today's 141st Kentucky Derby (your dog wants burgoo) [Advice]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mop [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
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