Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » craZycatLady says FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML [Link]
FMyLife » fatass says FML
Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML [Link]
FMyLife » ihatekids says FML
Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Living with agoraphobia isn't a walk in the park, you know. Sometimes it's a walk into a manhole [Amusing]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Having a Drink Makes You Better Looking
Image credit: iStock It is a truth universally acknowledged that beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder. (See: the many t-shirts featuring that very slogan available for purchase.) Knock back a drink or three and suddenly, the homely individual sitting at the end of the bar looks like a rock star. But take away your buzz and the mere … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CDC advises no sex with ebola survivors. I'm gonna go out on limb here and say probably no sex with the victims either [Followup]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you die, you too can be Groot [Weird]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Vintage Appliances That Could've Killed You
While leaking gas, frayed power cords, and garbage disposal mishaps continue to plague users of appliances, automated domestic assistance used to be more dangerous—a lot more dangerous. Take a look at some products no one but a personal injury lawyer would still endorse. 1. Toxic Refrigerators 
In use since the early 20th century, early consumer refrigerator designs relied heavily on … [Link]
The Onion » Iowa Restaurant Patron Can Remember Every Breakfast Ruined By Presidential Candidates
MARSHALLTOWN, IA—Describing them as significant moments in her life that she would never forget, 67-year-old Iowa diner patron Jane Brandon told reporters Monday she can still remember every single breakfast she’s had ruined by a presidential … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » When closing down a military base, which of these things you should remember not to do; A) Leave the lights on, B) Leave the water running, or C) Leave classified documents unsecured in empty rooms [Dumbass]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "He is naked in his house all of the time because it is his house and he is comfortable that way. His religion requires him to be naked" [Strange]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Soviet Russia's Rocket Boots
When the Soviet Union wanted to outrun the U.S., it turned to a secret weapon: rocket boots. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police looking for men who bought $1200 worth of booze on a stolen credit card. Hell, so am I, sounds like a party [Misc]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Liley the lion wasn't lost, he was simply embarking on an adventure [Sappy]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Adorable Facts About Shiba Inus
There’s a lot more to this fox-like dog than their Internet fame. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kick back, relax, and enjoy this list of the best New York munchies to go with your 4/20 buzz. Or, like, just crash on the couch with a bag of Cheetos. Your choice, man [Spiffy]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teenagers these days, the things they do to emulate their idols [Dumbass]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop NASA's new mobile launch platform [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Pot Smokers Around World Celebrate 4/20
Today is 4/20, the unofficial marijuana holiday when pot lovers around the world attend rallies, public smoke sessions, festivals, and other marijuana-related events, as well as just smoke with friends. 
[Link]
The Onion » Hand Gestures Transform Friend’s Story Into Immersive Virtual Reality Experience
OAKLAND, CA—Noting how the expressive movement of her friend’s arms fully conveyed every aspect and nuance of the event, 27-year-old Andrea Jennings confirmed Monday that her friend Rachel Carter’s hand gestures had transformed an anecdo… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » At any moment, we may see the delicate flowering of the corpse plant [Misc]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man buys tattoo gun off the internet and tries to ink himself, and since you're reading this on Fark, I think you know what's coming [Dumbass]
[link] [154 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Do Those Symbols on the iPhone Mean?
The truth is out there. Here’s what you’re really looking at. [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Pros And Cons Of Screen Time For Kids
As technology becomes more of a staple in everyday family life, parents are making choices about how much screen time to allow their children—and asking questions about how computers, phones, and TVs might help or hinder a child’s development. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Harry Potter Trivia
How many can you get right without missing one? [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Amazingly Long Animal Migrations
These creatures walk, swim, or fly in record-setting fashion. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What does having a Twitter handle like @Hillary mean for someone who's not actually Hillary Clinton? Well, it means you learn that most Twitter users are idiots, for one thing [Obvious]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Researchers vow to radio-collar even more baby moose to solve the mystery of why radio-collared baby moose keep dying [Fail]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rare ugly-ass oarfish washes up in New Zealand, no seriously it is ugly-ass [Cool]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dying CIA agent: "Marilyn Monroe was a commie spy and I assassinated her for America" [Weird]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Pleased To Find Most Of His Mid-’90s Anti-Hillary Rant Still Usable
DECATUR, IL—Expressing relief that he would not have to construct an entirely new diatribe from scratch, local man Harold Willis was reportedly pleased Monday to discover that most of his anti-Hillary Clinton rant from the mid-1990s was still perfec… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » World's coolest new build…what the hell? [Cool]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How A Practical Joke Brought 19th Century London To A Standstill
Wikimedia Commons In 1809 (or, by some accounts, 1810), a 21-year-old writer named Theodore Hook was strolling through central London with his friend, the architect Samuel Beazley, when he decided to put down a bet. “I’ll lay you a guinea,” Hook wagered, pointing to a house opposite, “that in one week that nice quiet dwelling shall be the most famous … [Link]
Mental Floss » Tales from the World's Longest Yard Sale
The "127 Sale" is a 690-mile stretch of yard sales from Alabama to Michigan. Here's what happens there. [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Mustard
Mustard may have truly come alive for Americans in the early 20th century when it was introduced to the hot dog, but its history is even longer and spicier than you might have guessed. 1. First things first: “mustard” is a plant; “prepared mustard” is a condiment. Although it’s rarely necessary to specify “prepared” mustard when referring to the spicy … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Introverts who claim to like being alone are probably just masking their deep depression [Obvious]
[link] [299 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 24 Famous Boston Firsts
Given its close proximity to Plymouth Rock, it’s hardly surprising that the city of Boston is home to many American “firsts.” From anti-smoking laws to UFO sightings, here are 24 things that originated in Beantown. [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Jack the "Lad"
[Link]
The Onion » Viewer Prepared To Believe Whatever Documentary Tells Him About Coral Reefs
BETTENDORF, IA—Saying he had no plans to challenge anything set forth in the hour-long nature program, television viewer Adam Canales reported Monday that he was fully prepared to believe whatever the documentary Darkness Below: Ocean Life On The… 
[Link]
The Onion » Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse
SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » In America, Free Speech is our most treasured right. We may not always agree with what's said, but we'll defend the right to say it. Unfortunately, it means that we also have to deal with this asshole [Asinine]
[link] [292 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rome celebrates its 2,768th birthday [Cool]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You won't believe what Neil deGrasse Tyson said about clickbait headlines [Obvious]
[link] [124 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » King of the Comb-Over
When a balding genius perfected a method of scalp coverage, he had no choice but to patent it. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Social media could be a powerful tool in tracking tornadoes and other natural disasters, except for one critical problem: Trolls [Sad]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's usually annoying when someone photobombs you, but this kid is ok with a photobomb from his military dad on school picture day [Sappy]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Maybe He Has a Lead on Carmen Sandiego
Admin, screaming into phone: What do you want me to do? I can't do this now, I'm at work! (pause) Well, I can't deal with this now, I'm working! I don't know what to tell you! (pause) I don't have any damn money!! I spent all my money on that private investigator! (pause) I can't do this now, I'm at work!Boss: … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Urge to Know Fading… Fading…
Library patron: Can you help me? I don’t remember how to turn the computers on.Employee: Well, this one’s already on, see? [Wiggles mouse to activate screen.]Library patron: Oh… What about this one? I don’t like that one.Employee: Well, this one’s off, so I’ll turn it on [presses power button].Library patron: Ah, so they each have a little trick. What about this … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 3PM In the Graphics Pool
Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe. 113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why Not Everyone Should Reproduce
Waiter, at new copy machine: Which way does this go in: face down or up, sideways or lengthways?…You’re not going to tell me, are you?Manager: We’ve got plenty of paper over there; keep trying until you get it right.45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, IndianaOverheard by: Shatmandu [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We Assume She Means a Sex Thing.
Office negative Nelly: I don't know what I'm going to do. But the next time I get paid, I'm going to do something strange and weird with it.Positive sidekick: Really? Strange and weird?Office negative Nelly: Okay, maybe not weird, but definitely strange. There's a difference?Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Moist, Delicious Students by the Basket
Boss: It will be a nice, warm, and fuzzy family event, which will increase student yield.Hempstead, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man mistakes Richard Petty Driving Experience for Dale Earnhardt Driving Experience, Ohio man charged with helping THE Islamic State, and Madonna needs new material, girl: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/12 – 4/18 [FarkBlog]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 20, 2015
The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 20, 2015 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Name the One-Syllable Words That Rhyme With ‘Home’
[Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: To Hill And Back
To Hill And Back 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Things You Might Not Know About 'A Different World'
The original premise was completely different. [Link]
Weird Universe » Worm Weather Visits Southern Norway
I finally tracked down the original story. It's copyright so click here and read all about it. [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do We Gesture When We Talk?
Gesture researchers have spent the past 40 years uncovering how movements (like a cupped hand rotating in space or a finger tracing a path through the air) are intimately tied to speech. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Sally Struthers Should Be Out Raising Money for My Saggy Glutes
Blonde: Oh my god, I had the most terrible dream last night!Distracted-looking friend: Oh, really? What happened?Blonde: I dreamed that someone told me I could only have one of the plastic surgeries I wanted! I almost cried! (entire elevator stifles laughter) No, really, why are you laughing? It was horrible!Rome
ItalyOverheard by: struggling to keep a straight face [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School shooting involving a crossbow? He's from Barcelona [Scary]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The scene is that of a demilitarized zone; massive concrete barricades line the roads, and visitors are greeted by a desolate checkpoint with automatic gate and numerous surveillance cameras." No, it's not Mexico; it's two cities in
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Feminism is the reason why marriage is at its lowest rate in history – 'Now we want total independence from men, but if we divorce – even without having children – we expect to get alimony for ever. We can't have it both ways.' [Obvious]
[link] [906 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Lost Inhibitions Wine
Church & State wines offers a product line they call "Lost Inhibitions." The bottles are printed with "evocative" messages in bright block lettering on the labels. They say the wines are "Made to enjoy with friends, family and great food." Yes, I can see a nice family dinner sharing a bottle of "Hashtag This Mother F#cker."
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this breaching [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Potential farkette with a BAC of .447 goes out on top as a champion [Fail]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 54: Escape From Stalag Luft III
In 1943 three men came up with an ingenious plan to escape from the seemingly escape-proof Stalag Luft III prison camp in Germany. In this episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll learn about their clever deception, which made them briefly famous around the world. We’ll also hear about the chaotic annual tradition of Moving Day in several North American … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Firefighters scour house looking for victims after hearing calls of "Help… Fire." They found and saved them. Fark: The person calling for help was a parrot [Interesting]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Alligator Joe
Proving that Florida, home to our esteemed Chuck Shepherd, has harbored weirdos for over a century.
Original article here. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’d Like to Push Another Boulder Up a Different Hill
Employee #1: If you want to send me your resume, I’ll see if they’re looking to hire designers. I think they are.Employee #2: Does the place resemble Hell?Employee #1: You mean like here?Employee #2: Yeah. Like, if it’s a few shades lighter red, and about half the amount of writhing souls, I’d be interested.Richmond, VirginiaOverheard by: cube prisoner [Link]
Mental Floss » Jack the "Lad"
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » 91-year-old former Canadian Defense Minister demands government release info on the UFOs that have been trespassing on his lawn [Strange]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » notmysistersbf says FML
Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch the Googly-Eyed Wolf Eel Go Through Life
Watch how something so delicate can become something so large and scary. [Link]
FMyLife » me says FML
Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jetblue to expand into the hotel business. Check-in will be delayed an hour due maintenance issues in your room [Strange]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Creepy Artificial Intelligence
The 19 Best Artificial Intelligence Characters in Movies. Real life can't hold a candle to them -and that’s probably a good thing.
*
Ex Machina: The Science of Creepy Artificial Intelligence. An explanation of why we don’t have to worry about AI anytime soon.
*
The 10 Best Housing Designs Of 2015, According To Architects. Nice, but they could use some … [Link]
FMyLife » queenbitch says FML
Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "He has obvious mental issues." With a photo of what crazy looks like [Followup]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you miss the good old days when you could leave your kid in the car for three minutes without someone calling the cops and demanding your arrest? [Sad]
[link] [397 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Adaptations of Poe's 'The Murders in the Rue Morgue'
Edgar Allan Poe's The Murders in the Rue Morgue was first published in Graham's magazine 174 years ago today, effectively launching the detective-fiction genre. Although earlier writers had penned mystery novels, the trope of a murder being exhaustively analyzed by a perceptive and canny outsider—the "ratiocination," as Poe called it—was all new. At the time, "detectives" didn't even exist, and … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » California woman eats three 72 oz. steak meals in less than an hour, shattering Red Barclay's record [Spiffy]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Disneyland's Wonderful Wizard of Bras
Disney theme parks are pretty much the epitome of good, wholesome family fun. You can get a family photo with Mickey Mouse, fly through Neverland on an enchanted pirate ship, and … buy a racy bra and corset? Believe it or not … yes! When Disneyland first opened in 1955, guests could make a stop on Main Street to visit … [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things Former 'SimCity' Mayors Should Know
If you stepped up to rule your own SimCity town in the early ‘90s, here are a few things you might’ve missed out on (in addition to food and sleep). [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The eight steps to happiness include hanging your washing up outside to dry, inviting a lonely person to tea, standing up straight and smiling [Interesting]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Security researcher booted off flight for pointing out flaw in security [Asinine]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guess which Nobel Peace Prize winner is spending $1 trillion on nuclear weapons [Obvious]
[link] [216 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The medical reporting magic 8 ball says that today caffeine is: good [Obvious]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Father and daughter with the world's widest tongues easily lick the previous world's record [Strange]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Which Is the Legal Definition of ‘Best Lawyer’
Boss man: We need a lawyer to handle this. If it were 5 years ago, I’d call my brother. He was the one of the best lawyers in the country, but he can’t help me anymore because he’s been disbarred.Midtown
New York, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Know, I Have the Same Problem at Home
Employee (during global teleconference with CEO): I don't have a question, but I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to work here. Although I am deaf, it hasn't stopped me from having a chance of proving myself.CEO: I appreciate your comment. That is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, since I have a son who … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
CSR #1: What does IT stand for?
CSR #2: Idiotic tendencies.
CSR #1: Oh, so that’s why we forward them all the stupid questions. 4800 NW 1st Street
Lincoln, Nebraska Overheard by: customerserviceslave [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Finalize Contracts with New Account
Vendor: Hey, can you do me a huge favor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Vendor: I am trying to land this account, and the guy won’t sign with me unless you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not going to sleep with him! Wait a second, is he cute? Does he have lots of money?
Vendor: No.
Boss: Well, … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Interviews
Intern #1: How did the interview go?
Intern #2: You know how punctuality is a good thing?
Intern #1: Oh my gosh, were you late?
Intern #2: No, I was two weeks early. 1150 17th Street NW
Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Dear Diary, Failed Emotional Intelligence Test Today
Older man: So, are you hungover?Younger woman: No. Why? Do I look hungover?Older man: No. I just wanted to start a conversation, and I don’t know what else to talk to you young people about. 501 Second Street
San Francisco, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Dead Men Tells no Tales, Says I
Designer: It’s National Talk Like A Pirate Day! Writer: I know. Designer: You already knew? And you didn’t tell me? I should smack you.312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Do You Know When a Paperclip Chain Is Finished, Really?
Office worker: Wow, I almost finished something today!San Rafael, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this power lifter [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
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