Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Restaurant diner finds pearl in her fried oysters, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another [Spiffy]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Keys To The Matchup: Keys To The Matchup: Duke vs. Wisconsin
With the NCAA title on the line, Wisconsin faces Duke in a rare national championship game that gives neutral fans only one team to root against. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Four treated for up to 50 stings after stumbling upon wild hive of over 20,000 bees in residential neighborhood. Your move, Australia [Florida]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Facts About the Math Disorder Dyscalculia
Begin your crash course on the little-known mathematical disorder with these 11 facts. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The neighbor's dog told me to post this while eating a Twinkie [Interesting]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Your Words Can Be Recovered From a Video of a Chip Bag Next to You
When you speak, your voice makes sound waves. Sound waves are just tiny movements in the air around you, so when you speak, the objects around you also move, ever so slightly. A potted plant, a glass of water, or a bag of chips will vibrate in response to the pressure changes caused by your voice. Might it be possible … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » DEA: OK, fine. Marijuana does help treat brain tumors. But your cancerous ass still can't stop us from arresting you if you use it [Stupid]
[link] [181 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Indonesian officials to 300 fishermen on a remote island: Okay anyone here who is being held here against their will as a slave and wants to go home, raise your hand…*hands* Sooo, that would be ALL of you then? [Sappy]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Because your gluten-free diet wasn't enough, now you can have gluten-free artwork, too [Stupid]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » This is How You Live in a Small Space
Brought to you by Apartments.com [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the 30 Teams in Major League Baseball
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man accused of attacking old flame with fire extinguisher [Dumbass]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bag of pot flies out of man's butt when jailers tell him to spread 'em and cough [Florida]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Supporters Raise $840K For Anti–Gay Marriage Pizza Joint
After the owners of an Indiana pizzeria said they wouldn’t be comfortable catering gay weddings, in a statement that prompted threats and led them to close their establishment, supporters started an online fundraiser for their family that has raised… 
[Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I spent my last $50 to get a ticket to take my daughter out for a nice birthday dinner tonight. It wasn't until after I purchased it that I realized the restaurant isn't even open on Mondays. FML [Link]
FMyLife » PeppermintPenny says FML
Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » tannerrosetx_1 says FML
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML [Link]
FMyLife » Gilan says FML
Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 4 Types of Stones That Could Be Inside Your Body
Gerhard Elsner, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY-SA 3.0 1. Bezoars In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Professor Severus Snape explained that “A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat, and it will save you from most poisons.” Ludicrous as it sounds, Snape wasn’t entirely wrong. A bezoar is kind of like a stomach pearl: An … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Acceptable way to respond after being denied marriage to your cousin: lock yourself in your trailer and drink Bud Light until you pass out. Not so acceptable: killing 10 members of your family including the cousin you wanted to marry [Sad]
[link] [230 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't forget to wish Microsoft a happy 40th birthday today [Spiffy]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When it comes to selecting how you want your steak cooked, choose well. No, wait, let me rephrase that [Interesting]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
The Onion » California Officials Assure Residents There Still Plenty Of Other Natural Resources To Waste
SACRAMENTO, CA—With residents struggling to adjust to newly imposed restrictions on water usage amid the state’s continuing drought, California officials assured citizens Monday there are still plenty of other resources available for them to w… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this model [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Crazy Ballpark Concessions
Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd. Buy me some s’mores covered bacon and churro dogs, I don’t care if I never get back. Since today is Opening Day in Major League Baseball, here are the eight most ridiculous ballpark foods for you to try. * This scary likeness of Lucille Ball should officially be … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gooooood afternoon, you're listening to the despairing sounds of 94.7, FU-ISIS, Northern Iraq's all-refugee, all the time, station [Interesting]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A scary look at statistics documenting the number of times transgender people have attacked you in a public bathroom [Scary]
[link] [363 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Which is more disturbing: the serial killer, or the man collecting serial killer 'murderabilia' to sell? [Sick]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two words: chocolate beer [Interesting]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Didn't Know About 'The Stand'
M-O-O-N, that spells The Stand, Stephen King’s post-apocalyptic tome about an America blighted by a population-devastating superflu. [Link]
The Onion » Woman Drawn To Shampoo With Most Gruesome Description Of Hair
PITTSBURGH—Scanning the shelves in the hair-care aisle of her local CVS, 24-year-old Jessica Codina was suddenly drawn to a bottle of shampoo featuring the most gruesome description of hair possible, sources confirmed Monday. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russian customs agents set new record by finding 55 snakes, 35 lizards, seven turtles, six lemurs, two monkeys and a leopard on the same smuggler [Weird]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As the aroused male tried to mount the female, he somehow lost his balance and toppled over onto his back, unable to get back up. Just like your last Fark party [Amusing]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police officers do not know why Florida man was driving southbound in a northbound lane, but since he left his wallet when he fled the scene of the ensuing accident, the working hypothesis is 'stupid' [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » Toys R Us where a Chav can be a Chav [Scary]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Celebrities Who Have Starred in Lifetime Movies
Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig aren’t the only well-known actors who’ve done the Lifetime movie thing. [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: The Pros And Cons Of Open-Plan Offices
More companies are remodeling offices to incorporate open-plan layouts in an effort to save money and encourage collaboration, though many employees complain that the setup eliminates privacy and makes it hard to concentrate. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Get out of the water: Radiation from Fukushima has finally arrived on North American shores [Followup]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New York City doorman fired for being 'too nice' to residents, failing to meet his legally required quota of 'and fark you all, too' shouts [Sad]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When towing your boat along the busiest road in your county, it's always a good idea to strap said boat to the trailer on which it sits [Florida]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you think your house is haunted? You may want to get out immediately. Not because of ghosts, but because your house may be filled with toxic mold [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Jonathan Coulton's JoCo Cruise 2016 booking is now open. Now offering rum, the lash, and… what's that third thing again? February 21-28, 2016, on Royal Caribbean's Freedom Of The Seas [FarkParty]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, "If it isn't loaded, why would you bother carrying it?" [Dumbass]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The 20 Best-Selling Albums in History
According to the RIAA, you probably have some of these in your collection. [Link]
Mental Floss » Strange States: The Oregon Boot
CA.gov If you want to learn about someplace, you can always pick up a textbook. But if you want to get to know a place, you're going to have to dig a little deeper. And what you find there might be a little strange. The Strange States series will take you on a virtual tour of America to uncover the … [Link]
The Onion » Kentucky Players Distraught Over Losing Undefeated Season Bonuses
Kentucky Players Distraught Over Losing Undefeated Season Bonuses 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "if it's true that Mr. Hubbard was never injured during the war, then he never did heal himself using Dianetics principles, then Dianetics is based on a lie, and then Scientology is based on a lie" [Obvious]
[link] [226 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Stephen Strasburg Encourages Pitchers To Shorten Games By Increasing Speed Of Fastball
WASHINGTON—With Major League Baseball at risk of losing fans due to the sport’s increasingly slow and lethargic pace, Washington Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg reportedly urged pitchers across the league Monday to shorten games by in… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wait, how the hell do you steal a barn? [Sad]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'Homeless Jesus' statue set to be put up in Detroit, as many say the sculpture really nails the plight of the homeless [Interesting]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why ants don't have a successful space program, a free-range artisanal toast home cost calculator, and Picard struggling with a new dialect of Tamarian: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/29 – 4/4 [FarkBlog]
[link] [2 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name MLB's Most Common Last Names
[Link]
Mental Floss » Geography Bunker! Answer These 15 Questions
[Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Strange Sounds No One Can Explain
Everyone has a favorite Wikipedia rabbit hole. Mine is “List of Unexplained Sounds.” I can’t remember how I first made my way to the page, but its array of sonic mysteries has shown me that while space is incredible, our planet is its own frontier of intrigue and unexplainable phenomena. 1. Upsweep Upsweep is an unidentified sound that’s existed at … [Link]
The Onion » Man Always Carries Gun In Case He Needs To Escalate Situation
TEMPE, AZ—Stressing the importance of being prepared for any circumstance that may occur, local man James Donner told reporters Monday he carries a gun on his person at all times in case he ever needs to escalate a situation. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Life from a Giant Turtle's Perspective
It's turtles all the way down. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Self-driving Audi completes cross-country trip in 9 days, not counting the two days in NYC trying to find a parking spot [Followup]
[link] [170 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What does it say about your city when your main tourist attraction is pelicans fishing in a river? [Silly]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman tries to conquer her crippling fear of heights by riding massive ferris wheel. Didn't work (video) [Amusing]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Report: High School Students Using Instagram To Choose Colleges
According to a report in Time magazine, many high school students are using Instagram to choose which college they will attend by checking out photos others have taken of the campus, at parties, or around town, which they say provide a more realist… 
[Link]
FMyLife » :O says FML
Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML [Link]
FMyLife » needagoodlaugh says FML
Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML [Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: A Living Rage
A Living Rage 
[Link]
Mental Floss » What's in a Nickname? The Origins of All 30 MLB Team Names
With the Major League Baseball season getting underway, here's the breakdown of how the league's 30 teams got their names. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Perhaps the cutest photo of a 'disorderly' goat you will see today [Amusing]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How WWII Saved 'The Great Gatsby' From Obscurity
F. Scott Fitzgerald's great American novel was a flop—until it was deployed overseas. One day in 1937, F. Scott Fitzgerald stepped into a Los Angeles bookstore hoping to grab a copy of The Great Gatsby. Scouring the shelves, he couldn’t find anything with his name on it. He stopped by another bookstore, and another. At each one, he ran into … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A motorist has branded a workman 'a complete nut job' after they spotted him hanging out of the back of a van going at 85mph on the motorway"(pics) [Stupid]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Calling in a bomb hoax to SWAT a public library. Fark: Within sight of the starting line of the Boston Marathon [Asinine]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 6, 2015
The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 6, 2015 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "We build a completely awesome box castle in our front yard for our our kids to play in and we get a notice from code enforcement?" [Asinine]
[link] [167 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 17 Things You Might Not Know About 'Scarface'
Say hello to our little list. Here are a few facts to break out at your next screening of Brian De Palma’s gangsters-and-cocaine classic, Scarface. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman kicked out of bar and arrested for : a) flicking a lit cigarette at an officer, b) making a hand gesture like a gun while saying "say hello to my little friend", c) dancing with Jim Carey in the batman costume, d) all of the above [Dumb
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why is it "Zed" in Britain, and "Zee" in America?
So zed is British and zee is American, yes? Well, that might be the case today, but once upon a time things were quite different. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Much Like the Terminator
Manager: I will be gone after three.
Minion: Will you be back?
Manager: Yes, at various times throughout my career. St. Louis, Missouri [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Depressing!
Loud cube drone: It happened again!Friend: What?Loud cube drone: I couldn't sleep!Friend: Oh no, what did you do?Loud cube drone: Well, I didn't do anything this time. Usually I would just take one of those sleeping pills, like Zoloft, the ones I usually take…Washington, DC [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judge allows woman to unfriend and unmarry husband on Facebook [Interesting]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this scout [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Let's take a beautiful look at the creepiest place on the planet: Dracula's 'hometown' [Interesting]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Bitch
Large lady, pressing wrong button in elevator: Oh, I thought I was going to the gym!
Small lady: You really need to go to the gym.
Large lady: I know. Los Angeles, California [Link]
Mental Floss » Visit Ramona Quimby's Portland
Long before Portland, Oregon, was famous for feminist bookstores and free-range chickens named Colin, it was home to another pop culture phenomenon: Ramona Quimby (age 8). Though Ramona, Beezus, and Henry Huggins were fictional, the streets they played on weren’t. From the Quimby home on Klickitat Street to the park where Henry Huggins once hunted for worms, many of your … [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 52: Moving Day in New York
For centuries, May 1 brought chaos to New York, as most tenants had to move on the same day, clogging the streets with harried people and all their belongings. In this episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll review the colorful history of “Moving Day” and wonder how it lasted through two centuries. We’ll also recount some surprising escapes from … [Link]
Weird Universe » Mystery Illustration 6
What public event in New York City is this image touting?
The answer is here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Subby is sad to admit he remembers all of these '70s icons captured in photos [Sad]
[link] [395 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Full House Was Like Gazing Into the Abyss
Coworker: I think I'd like to party with the Olsen twins. I always see pictures of them, and they frighten me… But I'm intrigued by things that frighten me.Campstool Road
Cheyenne, Wyoming [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Susan (Pe)thick
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to Flagstaff, Arizona avoid the fleas like the plague [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A church service was so good it brought down the house [Scary]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Nails Come Alive with the Help of 3D Printing
Director Mizuki Kawano and manicurist Hatsuki Furutani collaborated to make a video with some extreme nail art. The stop-motion animation, Transforming, used 521 custom 3D printed nails to make it seem like a variety of items were popping out of fingernails. You can watch the making-of video here. [h/t:TheKidShouldSeeThis.com] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anti-abortionists stage protest outside… a dildo shop? (link now goes to cached article) [Dumbass]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I should have sworn off Roman candles after the state troopers set that moose on fire" [Amusing]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » supercharged says FML
Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis to religious extremists around the world: "Please chill the heck out" [Spiffy]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chthulhu's minion almost scores San Diego fisherman [Scary]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Your Dog’s Wagging Tail
The Hidden Meaning in a Dog's Wagging Tail. The canine hind end has a language all its own.
*
20 Things You Didn’t Know About Your Favorite Classic Hollywood Stars. They were larger than life, but still were real people underneath.
*
An Adorable Otter Pup Takes A Break To Learn How To Otter. Clinging to Mom is great, but … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Saddam's dead-enders are still going strong, only now they're running ISIS [Interesting]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japan says there is no alien threat, but is ready to defend against one. If there were one. Because there isn't one [Strange]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Stunning Photos From the Peary-Henson North Pole Expedition
On July 6, 1908, the Roosevelt set sail from New York City's 24th Street Pier. The ship would only travel as far north as Cape Sheridan on the Canadian Ellesmere Island, but two of the men on board—Robert Peary and his assistant of 22 years, Matthew Henson—were headed for a more ambitious final destination: The North Pole, which had yet … [Link]
Mental Floss » What Disney Thought the "Bathroom of Tomorrow" Would Look Like
WaltDisney.org Do you have dumbbells in your bathroom? A hydraulic sink? “Citrus yellow” fixtures? Yeah, me neither—which means, like most 1950s predictions for the future, the Disneyland ideal for the “Bathroom of Tomorrow” was not quite accurate. In 1956, the Crane Plumbing Company outfitted Disneyland’s Tomorrowland area with a futuristic lavatory. Along with Crane Co. President Frank Elliot and industrial … [Link]
FMyLife » Itsbeen8years says FML
Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Jell-O
Jell-O is “America’s Most Popular Dessert”—just as a 1904 ad campaign paid for by Jell-O told us. Let’s delve into some of the history and mystery behind the wobbly treat. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Peter Prison-Shower Always Gets His Way
Developer on phone with admin: Yeah, just add it to the list. The account name is 'consumer', password 'buttfucker'. Thanks.Chicago, IllinoisOverheard by: Mr. the Snake [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Copy?
Customer to salesman: Well, let's order that lube so we can get it coming.Colorado [Link]
Overheard In The Office » In and Out of the Side Pockets
Boss: He can work the balls so nicely. In both directions.Baltimore, Maryland [Link]
Overheard In The Office » No, That’s Question #15
Nurse, pointing to birth control questionnaire: Ma’am, I think you answered this question incorrectly.15-year-old girl: No, that’s right.Nurse: It asks how long you’ve been with your current partner. You said five minutes. 15-year-old girl: That’s how long it took.616 Court Street
Los Angeles, CaliforniaOverheard by: Vicky [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Columbia Journalism Review to Rolling Stone: "Your journalism's bad and you should feel bad" [Followup]
[link] [227 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sacramento, California tries to break the Easter egg hunt world record. And since this is Fark, you know how well that went [Fail]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » When Fetish Orgies Are This Complicated, They're Often Not Worth It.
Female coworker to boss: So Matt makes fun of Meredith and Meredith makes fun of Matt, and *everyone* makes fun of Meredith, but *nobody* makes fun of Ann.Washington, DCOverheard by: Creative Bunny [Link]
FMyLife » tardspawn says FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Chivalrous or Sexist? Discuss.
65-something delivery man to 30-something female receptionist, as she bends over to lift printer:Oh, wait, let me do that. I don't want you to hurt your ovaries.Denver, Colorado [Link]
Weird Universe » ABOUT D@%N TIME
France has enacted a law limiting excessively thin models from working until their BMI reaches a minimum level set forth in the law. Fines and even jail time can be leveled against fashion houses and modeling agents trying to use models that are thinner than the law allows. Its about time we quit letting vanity destroy our little girls. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If your kids ask you how the Easter Bunny is able to leave eggs in houses all over the world on the same morning, show them this story and explain what 'meth' is [Sappy]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's how to play breakfast Jenga. All you need are some thick-cut fries, stacked and then drizzled in melted American cheese and bacon. Then, you top it off with a fried egg (pic) [Cool]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » They're Pretty Dim, Sum Co-Workers.
Coworker #1: I wish my Chinese food would just get here already!Coworker #2: Seriously, it's been like three minutes since you called. If you are expecting something that fast you are going to be disappointed because ninjas are *Japanese*!Queens, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these technical experts [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
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