Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » Oh, Honey
Oblivious sales rep to gay tech: Do you know how lucky you are, the only guy in here with all these women?Waukesha, Wisconsin [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Give a h00t, vote for W00t – stout, that is (round 2) [Cool]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Taxis are supposed to get you to where you need to go fast, but it shouldn't be because the police are chasing him for a possible DUI [Dumbass]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Rod We Trust (not safe for work) [Weird]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » How most people like to greet others
View [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Might Not Know About Mr. Bean
Rowan Atkinson’s beloved man-child is turning 25. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two federal investigators were just arrested for stealing bitcoin… while investigating criminals who use bitcoin [Ironic]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …But, These Days, Only My Dad Does.
Female coworker to friend: When we were kids I was so good at it my brother called me “blowie”!Sydney
Australia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What they don't teach in Med School: Doctors who commit malpractice must then get elected to the state legislature so they can repeal laws named after their dead patients [Sick]
[link] [203 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Ancient Remedy
Scientists recreated a thousand year old medicinal remedy to study its efficacy and got a big surprise. The mixture, which includes cow bile, garlic, leeks and wine, kills the antibiotic resistant staph infection MRSA. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Former spokesman for Missouri Auditor Tom Schweich follows his boss's footsteps in the worst possible way [Sad]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Bad Decision Dogs
Each of these dogs made a really bad decision. But man are they cute. * Speaking of dogs, this list of how your dog sees classic children's books is pretty great. * These April Fools Day pranks would really test the strength of your relationship. You have a few days to decide if you want to try any of these. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Create an ad for a new show on the History Channel [Photoshop]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Payday lenders: "Hey, at least we're not the mafia" [Interesting]
[link] [264 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Torn Between Boycotting Indiana, Visiting Evansville Zoo
HENDERSON, KY—Saying he wants to show his support for the gay and lesbian community in the wake of the state’s recently passed religious freedom bill while at the same time acknowledging that he was excited to look at a variety of animals, loc… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » When Boston Corbett Killed John Wilkes Booth
In the days after John Wilkes Booth fired a bullet into the back of President Abraham Lincoln’s head, the actor had displayed a remarkable ability to move, even with a broken leg, and to hide. But the men trailing him, a regiment of the 16th New York Cavalry, were relentless. In the dark hours of April 26, 1865, they traced … [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: NYC Tourists Incite Outrage By Taking ‘Selfies’ At East Village Blast Site
Following a gas explosion at an East Village apartment building last week that killed two people, a handful of tourists were observed taking self-portraits of themselves in front of the blast site, inciting a flood of criticism online. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: 'Ello, guvna [FarkBlog]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Grandma not included [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Video Premiere: 'A Man, a Plan, a Palindrome'
A world champion palindromist explains his passion for wordplay. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Idiot who walks his dog by having it run behind his car named "the laziest pet owner on earth," tied with every other halfwit in your town who does the exact same thing [Dumbass]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Indiana Governor Insists New Law Has Nothing To Do With Thing It Explicitly Intended To Do
INDIANAPOLIS—Addressing the controversy surrounding his state’s recently signed Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Indiana governor Mike Pence forcefully insisted to reporters Monday that the new law has nothing at all to do with what it was e… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » If your cunning plan involves snatching the Girl Scout money box from the kids selling cookies in front of a store, then jumping into a getaway car, you may want to rethink your career plans [Dumbass]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Secrets About Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean Ride
Image credit: Disneyland.com Long before it was a hit movie franchise featuring a certain swaggering scallywag with a penchant for eccentric fashions, Pirates of the Caribbean was just a little boat ride at Disneyland. Actually, scratch that—Pirates has never been little: Since it opened in March of 1967, the attraction has consistently been one of the most popular ones in … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML [Link]
FMyLife » getoffthephone says FML
Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Malls across new Hampshire hosted a special event for special-needs children in an effort to provide seasonal trauma for all [Scary]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mass exorcism of schoolkids leaves dozens in hysterics as priest attempts to 'banish the Devil.' Church spokesman said: "We haven't received any complaints so far, so there's no problem" (pics of problem) [Scary]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Investigators find that the co-pilot who deliberately crashed an airliner in the Alps had previously undergone treatment for suicidal tendencies, but it was years ago, so it didn't raise any black flags and he was considered a minor threat [Follo
[link] [226 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » The High Road
Editorial guidelines from Spicy Detective magazine, 1935: In describing breasts of a female character, avoid anatomical descriptions. If it is necessary for the story to have the girl give herself to a man, or be taken by him, do not go too carefully into details. … Whenever possible, avoid complete nudity of the female characters. You can have a girl … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Miami Beach celebrates its 100th birthday. Which still makes it four years younger than the average Miami Beach resident [Florida]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently God is as effective as a co-pilot as Andreas Lubitz [Florida]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New research shows that while treadmill desks do score quite high on the "smug douche" factor, their "actual exercise" score is much lower than expected [Obvious]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Rehabilitated Otter Released Back Into Food Chain
SAUSALITO, CA—Following nine months of surgeries and physical therapy to heal the aquatic animal’s debilitating injuries, officials from the Marine Mammal Center released a fully rehabilitated sea otter back into the food chain Tuesday. 
[Link]
GraphJam » Don't Mind Me, I'm Just An Everyday Skier
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bank robber , Pie Chart , ski masks , skiing Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Fascinating History of Lithuania’s Day of the Book Smugglers
In Lithuania, March 16 is Knygnešio diena, or the Day of the Book Smugglers, to commemorate the birthday of Jurgis Bielinis, who created a secret distribution network in order to smuggle banned Lithuanian books into the country. [Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Screwing America
Screwing America 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » How Yemen could spin out of control. Uh….well…more out of control. Like in a bad way [Obvious]
[link] [122 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 L. Ron Hubbard Stories With Fantastic Titles
Before he founded the Church of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard was one of the most prolific writers of the 20th century. [Link]
Mental Floss » 30 Facts About Chocolate
John Green offers some delicious facts about chocolate. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Indonesian police spark impromptu block party after smoke from 3.3 tons of burning cannabis wafts through urban neighborhood. Intrepid journalist reports the high was so intense, he had to "sit down and have a cup of tea" [Amusing]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What kind of person would glue watch parts to the back of a stag beetle? The same kind of person who would post a want ad for dead bats on Craigslist [Cool]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » These guys were driving around East LA taunting people. You'll believe what happens next [Obvious]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 30, 2015
The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 30, 2015 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption this curious cow [Caption]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » America's pets are as obese as their American owners, and that's the problem: "95 percent of owners of overweight dogs and nine out of ten owners of fat cats think their pets appear normal" [Sad]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Speeding tickets are down nationwide and fine-dependent courts are having financial trouble [Interesting]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » England's new council bans propose bizarre laws against buskers, pigeon feeding, and the sale of lucky charms, contending such bans are magically judicious [Asinine]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Exclamation Point
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Better Wrap This up, Boys — Mrs. Agnew’s Coming into Heat
Supervisor #1: I mean, humans are the only ones that are supposed to be having interspecies sex, and even then, I don’t think that we should be.Supervisor #2: Ew. Supervisor #3: But that’d probably get you promoted here.473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New JerseyOverheard by: office peon [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Someone Left an Issue of Bitch Magazine in There
Woman #1: Hey!Woman #2, coming out of the employee restroom: Hey! Oh, I was just thinking about you!Woman #1: Wait, weren't you just in the restroom?Bobst Library, NYU [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Career Tip: Don't Call in Sick in the Middle Of a Crisis, Dear Reader
Exasperated boss on phone: Well that's great, Jake. Maybe I should go downstairs and slam my head in the car door a few times.Huntington, New YorkOverheard by: Lady Lawyer [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But That's an Abacus, Lenny.
Colleague to another: No, that's okay. I don't want to learn a new way of doing things.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » MacGyver: After Hours
Supervisor: Well, if that’s the case, all I need is a panda, a gun, and a bottle of wine.Naperville, Illinois [Link]
GraphJam » Reasons I switch on as many lights as possible when getting a glass of water at night
Graph by: brandynigma Tagged: dark , fear , light switch , monster , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » PETA May Have Gone Too Far This Time
Bimbette coworker: They’re gonna skin your mother-in-law and give it to a zebra!860 Broadway
New York, New YorkOverheard by: Confabulation Nation [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Study: Women Who Sleep Longer Have More Sex
According to a small study conducted by the University of Michigan, women who sleep longer hours have an increase in sexual desire the next day and are more likely to have sex. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Gay Passion of the Christ" deemed blasphemous. Because an unmarried single guy living with 12 dudes and talking about "loving everyone" is the straightest motherfarker this side of Oedipus [Interesting]
[link] [150 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Thinks Going To Vegas For Things Other Than Gambling Somehow Less Sad
PITTSBURGH—Noting how eagerly he listed off the city’s wide array of live entertainment, dining options, and shopping outlets, sources confirmed Monday that 31-year-old Michael Nelson had somehow reached the conclusion that it was less depress… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Something's happening at NSA but it's real secret so don't tell anybody [News]
[link] [202 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "While high-profile units like SEAL Team Six and Delta Force get most of the media attention, the number of specialized troops in the U.S. Army National Guard is quietly growing" [Interesting]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » What time I plan to get up vs. What time my 3-year-old son wakes up
Graph by: jksterup Tagged: Bar Graph , child , morning , parents , school , sleep , son , wake up Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » GermanWings meets FrenchAlps, a collapse in New York that somehow doesn't involve the Mets, and Shi'ites about to be on fire, yo: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/22 – 3/28 [FarkBlog]
[link] [5 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » China invites foreign armed forces to take part in a lavish military parade in Beijing this fall marking the 70th anniversary of victory over Japan in World War II. US feels awkward about the invite, but not as much at Japan getting an invitation [St
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Isn't That a Cyndi Lauper Song?
Office girl #1: She's in heat, so she's all swollen, and Bostons get gross swollen.Boss: That's probably why she was running around town.Office girl #2: I thought it was only males that run off when they're horny?Boss: Nah, girls are whores, too.Oklahoma City, OklahomaOverheard by: freudian flip [Link]
FMyLife » kitkat3308 says FML
Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » James Bond-themed swinger party at $5 million mansion canceled at the onset after guest drowns. The Aristocrats [Dumbass]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Ways of Saying "Zombie" on ‘The Walking Dead’
Just as a carbonated beverage is called soda in some areas of the U.S. and pop in others, the survivors of The Walking Dead zombie apocalypse have different names for wandering corpses. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You've heard of marijuana cookies, but heroin-laced hearth bread? [Scary]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » FBI says a plot to steal seed corn is a "threat to national security" [Strange]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 7.5 earthquake off coast of Papua New Guinea, tsunami warning issued [Scary]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Not Having to Listen to Cher Is Worth Paying Out-of-Pocket.
Male employee, angry about benefits: So my live-in girlfriend is not a domestic partner but Steve's* boyfriend is?HR generalist: Yes, that's right. Domestic partners are same sex partners, that is the policy.Male employee: So if my girlfriend became my boyfriend I could put her on my insurance?HR generalist: Yes, if she grows a penis and discovers a deep abiding love for … [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Research Tools for Studying the Universe
For all its historic achievements, an area where NASA deserves more credit is the sheer volume of data it releases to the public, free of charge. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this de-escalation [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » coldasfire says FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Dogs demolishing a chair
This video comes with no explanation (and no sound). The action really starts around 2 minutes in, and I fast forwarded through much of it. But I'm curious to know, why exactly do these dogs so desperately want to destroy that chair?
The Musical Chair from Held Hands on Vimeo. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just because marijuana is legal in Alaska does not mean you can smoke it in the police department parking lot [Dumbass]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » NewsFlash: Writer Neurotic and Delusional. Film at 11.
Receptionist, as editor walks in: How did [aspiring author] sound on the phone?Editor: I dunno, what do you mean?Receptionist: Well, I sent him information about how to publish his book, and he told me that his family was trying to kill him.Lawrence, Massachusetts [Link]
Weird Universe » Imperishable Burial Robes
Alex gave us green burials–here's the opposite! Keep your corpse looking fresh, stylish and whole!
Original article here. [Link]
GraphJam » Yum! Yum! Grapes! Eww! Mould Now Gross Now Gross Now Gross Now Gross Now Gross Now Gross Yum! Ninja
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: eww , grapes , nauseous , nom , snack , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » Exclamation Point
[Link]
FMyLife » sexisntfun says FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love with. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Places to Go Before They're Gone
Nothing lasts forever, so you might want to get out there and explore while you still can. Consider using this infographic, which gives 10 examples of places with approaching expiration dates, as a guide—but remember to be a respectful traveler. Click to enlarge 
via DailyInfographic.com and PinayTraveller.com [Link]
FMyLife » BrokeAndSad says FML
Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML [Link]
GraphJam » *Whom, *Other's, *There
Graph by: SoaD_ftw36 Tagged: grammar nazi , their , there , theyre , venn diagram Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Toad Detour
These Volunteer Toad Crossing Guards Help Nature Thrive In Philadelphia. The job is like hacking a game of Frogger.
*
The first synopsis of the Deadpool movie. We’ll learn more before the movie opens next February.
*
31 Of The Weirdest Foods In America. You might laugh at these one at a time, but together they make it look insane.
* … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Paramedic recalls saving physician's life after car crash…who was the same doctor who saved his life as a child [Ironic]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We bow and toke our joints in praise for the Lord Almighty [Amusing]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This is why you and your wife should avoid breaking into the home of a female weightlifter. "He hit me, so I socked him in his eye." (Bonus: His & Her mugshots) [Florida]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » By today's standards, Coney Island's 87-year-old wooden Cyclone roller coaster is tame and dull … except when it gets stuck on opening day and you have to walk down on the wooden side planks, while looking over the ocean. Now that's exc
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming this Easter: Cadbury Creme Egg milkshakes blended with cheesecake batter [Spiffy]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Hidden Talents of the Octopus
They're scary smart, and they keep themselves busy in amazing ways. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Polio eradicated but still no cure for cancer. Wait, reverse that [Cool]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Schools With the Most Final Four Appearances
[Note: This quiz was created before this weekend's games, so Wisconsin is not included as one of the 25 schools with four or more appearances.] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Cancel Cameras Order
Boss: You told me that before.
Office worker: How do you know?
Boss: I have a photogenic memory. 2 Walters Lane
Point Pleasant, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Have You Tried Trimming Your “Tomato Patch”?
Older employee to younger employees: That's why I don't live in town. I would be in jail. They would say, “you can't have a beer out here” and “you can't be in the nude” no matter how hot it is in your tomato patch!Roanoke, West Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Steam-Powered Computers Require a Rugged Foundation
Worker bee: So my computer crashed.Manager: So? Tell the technicians, not me.Worker bee: No, I mean “crashed onto the floor of my office.”Manager: What?Worker bee: I told you the new desks were crap.Canary Wharf
London
EnglandOverheard by: Hopeing the floors hold [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Why Are All My Problems Self-Inflicted?
Boss: Who wants to do these reports?Enthusiastic lady: I’ll take them! Will be done in no time.Boss, 15 minutes later: Are those reports ready, Angie*?Enthusiastic lady: I’m still on it.Boss, 15 minutes later: I need those reports now.Enthusiastic lady: I am working on them as fast as I can. [Boss leaves, then] Why does he give me so much work and … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Um, Then Don't Try to Win Free Concert Tickets?
Angry reporter, snapping on phone: I am not prepared to make 26 calls today.Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: Intern [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dust in the wind… all we are is dying from dust in the wind [Scary]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …While Restarting Their Computers
Tech support girl: So, what should I tell them? They say their internet is slow.Tech support supervisor: Tell them to suck my big brown dick.Ontario
Canadia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One family of terminally ill eleven-year-old boy with a Do Not Resuscitate order plus a school district's policy to resuscitate no matter what equals a lawsuit [Obvious]
[link] [206 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Edna Has a Slight Touch Of VP-Ness Envy.
VP: So it doesn't work, what do you want me to do about it?Secretary: You're one of the big guys. Why don't you use your VP-ness and give me one that does the job?Durango, Colorado [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cereal pitchman [Photoshop]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
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