John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Overheard In The Office » I'm Just Making Sure They're Not Too Itchy

Tuesday 24 March 23:26:31 UTC 2015

Manager swaying through office (at the top of his lungs): I'll have your panties for you in a minute!Reynoldsburg, OhioOverheard by: Cube Dweller [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Easter egg hunt cancelled over fears that people would transmit bird flu to birds, who presumably call it human flu [Strange]

Tuesday 24 March 23:19:49 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Darren Sharper Prison Sentence Proves One Specific Athlete Not Above The Law

Tuesday 24 March 22:33:00 UTC 2015

Darren Sharper Prison Sentence Proves One Specific Athlete Not Above The Law
[Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Myths of the 1920s That Were Debunked—Then Turned Out to be True

Tuesday 24 March 22:00:00 UTC 2015

In the 1920s, Lambert & Butler English Cigarette cards set out to debunk common myths. Some are just bizarre (hold burned skin closer to a fire to “draw off” the burn), some are things teachers have the audacity to say to this day (“In summer, the earth is nearer the sun than in winter”)—and some, like these five, weren't actually … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The news that California wine contains toxic levels of arsenic was junk science bunkum [Followup]

Tuesday 24 March 21:55:14 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, you can vote for Drew without having to be a resident of Kentucky [Cool]

Tuesday 24 March 21:15:36 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shiat just got weird, y'all: Flight 4U9525 crashed in the same spot as another plane in 1953 where 44 perished in nearly identical circumstances [Strange]

Tuesday 24 March 21:14:34 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Strange and Different Easter Treats

Tuesday 24 March 20:59:56 UTC 2015

Eggs go on sale the week before Easter, so you may as well stock up and do something with those little protein-packed symbols of spring. Not all of these recipes contain eggs, but they are all creative new ideas for spicing up your Easter feast, party, or holiday snacking. And save some for me! 1. Rainbow Jello Easter Eggs If … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Report: Students Had To Attend Ted Cruz Rally Or Face Fine

Tuesday 24 March 20:37:00 UTC 2015

According to students at Liberty University who spoke to BuzzFeed News, the conservative Christian university chose to host Ted Cruz’s presidential campaign announcement during one of the school’s mandatory convocations held three times per we…
[Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Boeing Patents Force Fields

Tuesday 24 March 20:30:00 UTC 2015

Boeing is about to hold a patent on force fields. * Today it’s known as a romantic comedy classic, but the film Pretty Woman was originally set to have a much less upbeat ending. * This has got to be the funniest C-SPAN caller of all time. I’m a little embarrassed about how hard I laughed at this. * If … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man needing space [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 March 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Smallest-to-Largest Planets

Tuesday 24 March 19:54:32 UTC 2015

[Link]

The Onion » Onion Poll: Should Schools Be Able To Discipline Students For Cyberbullying?

Tuesday 24 March 19:54:00 UTC 2015

The Onion – America's Finest News Source
[Link]

The Onion » Nation’s Money Constantly Disgusted By What Americans Doing With It

Tuesday 24 March 19:43:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—While saying it still holds out hope that one day it will be used for less degrading purposes, the nation’s money revealed Tuesday that it continues to be disgusted on a daily basis by what people across the country do with it. Acco…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark ready headline: Rare stripeless badger found with bite in his bum in toilet [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 March 19:42:05 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » — — .-. … . / -.-. — -.. . / .-. . – ..- .-. -. … / – — / -… — -.– / … -.-. — ..- – / — . .-. .. – / -… .- -.. — [Cool]

Tuesday 24 March 19:28:17 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 32 Southern barbecue joints break out the propane and go head-to-head in their own version of the NCAA tournament. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE [Hero]

Tuesday 24 March 19:26:58 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The pro-Putin strongman running Chechnya has taken to appearing in public wearing a full military uniform- of the Norwegian army, who would REALLY like to know how the hell he got it, and why? [Strange]

Tuesday 24 March 19:16:24 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [52 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » chassezlenaturel says FML

Tuesday 24 March 19:03:19 UTC 2015

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Slang Terms from 'The Breakfast Club,' Decoded

Tuesday 24 March 19:00:19 UTC 2015

The events in The Breakfast Club took place 32 years ago today. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two whales hit the beach in the Outer Banks. On porpoise? Yeah one of those too [Sad]

Tuesday 24 March 18:49:05 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unfolding Hopes

Tuesday 24 March 18:39:41 UTC 2015

Albert Szent-Györgyi, who knew a lot about maps
according to which life is on its way somewhere or other,
told us this story from the war
due to which history is on its way somewhere or other: The young lieutenant of a small Hungarian detachment in the Alps
sent a reconnaissance unit out into the icy wasteland.
It began to … [Link]

GraphJam » Also Known As Geometry II

Tuesday 24 March 18:30:00 UTC 2015

carbon,Chemistry,concepts,geometry,hexigons,Pie Chart,shapes Graph by: Unknown Tagged: carbon , Chemistry , concepts , geometry , hexigons , Pie Chart , shapes Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Catholic priest says Cheetos Demonic range is 'dabbling in dangerous world of demons' and children who eat 'evil' Cheetos will be possessed by demons [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 March 18:17:03 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [130 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: How Michelin Rates Restaurants

Tuesday 24 March 18:08:00 UTC 2015

For decades, the French company Michelin has published a restaurant guide that rates restaurants on a scale of one to three stars, giving them a coveted Michelin star status.
[Link]

Mental Floss » What American Sign Language Looked Like 100 Years Ago

Tuesday 24 March 18:00:00 UTC 2015

American Sign Language has a long history in the United States. It goes back almost 200 years, to 1817, when a minister named Thomas Hopkins Gallaudet brought Laurent Clerc, a teacher of the Deaf* (who was also Deaf himself) from France to the United States to found the American School for the Deaf in Hartford, Conn. Clerc brought French Sign … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hitler watercolor to go on sale…if you want an amateurish, almost childish attempt to express lost love through a still life of flowers. Then again, if this guy had talent, we'd all be talking about him [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 March 17:12:40 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Taking your pants off and trying to bite a police officer after pouring oil on satellite dishes is no way to go through life, sir [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 March 17:10:47 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese officials say they will introduce guidelines to regulate surprisingly contentious Chinese square-dancing: "In 2013, Wuhan residents made headlines after they showered feces on a group of boisterous 'dancing grannies'" [Strange

Tuesday 24 March 17:02:36 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Just in Case, Though, We Offer a Full Course on Bobbing and Weaving

Tuesday 24 March 17:01:18 UTC 2015

Orientation presenter: In all the code fives I've responded to over the years, there's only been one that involved a weapon. But if you hear “code five lobby” announced overhead, and then you hear shots fired, don't go into the lobby!Albany General Hospital
Albany, OregonOverheard by: Naomi [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And I Tool Around My Apartment on a Segway

Tuesday 24 March 17:01:17 UTC 2015

Worker bee #1: You're too skinny!Worker bee #2: It's not my fault. I try to eat crap!San Rafael, California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 11AM Smoke Break

Tuesday 24 March 17:01:11 UTC 2015

Bookseller: I cleaned up all the damn puppets. All of them! Then, watched as a father allowed his children to throw all of them on the floor, play for an hour, then leave them. He grinned at me, said ‘Kids, right?’, then left. It took all I had not to tear that grin off his face, and shove it so … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I’m a Great Distraction at Funerals

Tuesday 24 March 17:01:10 UTC 2015

Female grocery stocker to male co-stocker: I laugh when I’m nervous, I can’t help it.Male co-stocker: Yeah?Female grocery stocker: Yeah. It’s really bad on roller coasters, I crack up. And I always laugh before the first kiss… And I laughed when I saw my dog get hit by a car… But I felt bad about that.Alton Road
South Beach, FloridaOverheard by: BARA … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » It's Worse Than When I Worked at the Daycare

Tuesday 24 March 17:01:09 UTC 2015

Exasperated office girl: Nobody ever tells me anything that I can understand!Alpharetta, Georgia [Link]

Mental Floss » Pick the Real U.S. States

Tuesday 24 March 17:00:00 UTC 2015

Can you pick the actual states without making a mistake? [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Would-Be Assassins Who Tried To Kill Hitler

Tuesday 24 March 17:00:00 UTC 2015

More than 30 attempts were made on Adolf Hitler's life before he finally took it himself—and some of them came very close to doing the dictator in. 1. Johann Georg Elser Wikimedia Commons A woodworker by trade, Elser was convinced that Hitler was going to lead Germany to war, and was unhappy with Hitler’s aggressive anti-union policies. So to make … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A 'minesweeping' pig has been barred from a pub bar and slapped with a booze ban after it started robbing pints and headbutting drinkers (pics) [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 March 16:39:09 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Since 2003 the TSA has toyed with the idea of placing "behavior detection officers" in airports across America-part of a $1 billion counter-terrorism measure known as SPOT (Screening Passengers by Observation Techniques) [Stupid]

Tuesday 24 March 16:37:25 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'll say it again. Compliance. Is not. Security" (Sponsored Link) [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 March 16:33:03 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [41 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 24 March 16:30:00 UTC 2015

hyrule india legend of zelda munnies Phantom Hourglass Pie Chart video games - 3966168832 Graph by: Mart-eJayburch Tagged: hyrule , india , legend of zelda , munnies , Phantom Hourglass , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: At "Whit"s End

Tuesday 24 March 16:27:52 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you had "24 hours" for how long it would take Satanists to exploit Indiana's new Religious Freedom law, come collect your goblet of lamb's blood [Followup]

Tuesday 24 March 16:27:42 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [224 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: Looking Back On My Life, I Guess My Biggest Regret Is Trying To Fight That Alligator 5 Minutes Ago (by Dave McKinney)

Tuesday 24 March 16:22:00 UTC 2015

By Dave McKinney
[Link]

Mental Floss » When Colin Powell Met Sergeant Elvis Presley

Tuesday 24 March 15:30:00 UTC 2015

In 1956, a 21-year-old Elvis Presley was drafted into the United States Army. By that time, he had already recorded and released hits like "Heartbreak Hotel," "Blue Suede Shoes," and "Hound Dog," and was one of the biggest celebrities in the country. Despite being deemed eligible for Special Services, a post that would have had him merely entertain the troops, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline: "Norway man glued own beard to victim's scalp" [Strange]

Tuesday 24 March 15:25:50 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who was shot by police 16 times as he woke up from a nap: "It's a tough job they have to do. Sometimes they make mistakes" [Cool]

Tuesday 24 March 15:25:39 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …But There's a Kernel Of Truth in It, Right?

Tuesday 24 March 15:25:07 UTC 2015

Office guy #1: Dude, check this out! Robin bought me some bacon-flavored popcorn!Office guy #2: Sweet! To thank her you should dress up like that kid from Malcolm in the Middle and pee on her… (pause) What? I heard she was into that. Not so much? Okay…Denver, Colorado [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Handy map of the hate groups in the U.S. Yes, California has the most, and we aren't just talking about places like Whole Foods [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 March 15:25:01 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [196 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Guinness To Start Offering Calorie Counts

Tuesday 24 March 15:22:00 UTC 2015

Diageo PLC, the largest alcohol company in the world, which owns brands like Guinness and Johnnie Walker, announced that it will soon start offering calorie counts and other per-serving nutritional info on bottles and cans. What do you think?
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Tanqueray, Guinness To Start Offering Calorie Counts

Tuesday 24 March 15:22:00 UTC 2015

Diageo PLC, the largest alcohol company in the world, which owns brands like Tanqueray and Guinness, announced that it will soon start offering calorie counts and other per-serving nutritional info on bottles and cans.
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Smirnoff, Guinness To Start Offering Calorie Counts

Tuesday 24 March 15:22:00 UTC 2015

Diageo PLC, the largest alcohol company in the world, which owns brands like Smirnoff and Guinness, announced that it will soon start offering calorie counts and other per-serving nutritional info on bottles and cans.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: My boyfriend is in his 20s, and he owns over two dozen stuffed animals that he claims have sentimental value. And if that isn't weird enough, he still sleeps with a teddy bear. Is this abnormal behavior? Should I dump him?&#34

Tuesday 24 March 15:01:27 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [142 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » why me says FML

Tuesday 24 March 14:47:59 UTC 2015

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police determine victim made up rape claim after DNA of 'black' attacker matches white man in their database. First clue should have been when sketch artist drew his thumb. With pic of 'assailant' [Strange]

Tuesday 24 March 14:38:07 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [249 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Everyone On Defense Team An Equally Matched Romantic Interest For Member Of Prosecution

Tuesday 24 March 14:35:00 UTC 2015

BOSTON—Noting the sexual tension between several pairs of opposing attorneys as they argued a criminal case this week, Suffolk County Courthouse sources said that each of the defense team’s four members appeared to be a romantic interest and e…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man trashes neighborhood, confronts police and shouts, "I'm famous now, look what I did." Did I mention he was naked? [Florida]

Tuesday 24 March 14:34:46 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Woman Who Teaches Special-Needs Children Killing It At Dinner Party

Tuesday 24 March 14:33:00 UTC 2015

WORCESTER, MA—Saying that her range of compelling anecdotes and personal insights had succeeded in captivating all who were present, sources confirmed Tuesday that middle school special-needs teacher Jennifer Ramirez is absolutely killing it at a lo…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 21 Things You Might Not Know About 'NewsRadio'

Tuesday 24 March 14:30:22 UTC 2015

Some believe that it was the funniest sitcom of the '90s, and they weren’t drunk on Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor when they said it. [Link]

GraphJam » Chance the guy in front of you is a jerk

Tuesday 24 March 14:30:00 UTC 2015

LoL by: cattieloves Tagged: car , driving , hummer , jerk Share on Facebook [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Goes With Everything, Sir

Tuesday 24 March 14:23:18 UTC 2015

Manager: My comments are below in red.Office girl: And mine are written in purple.CEO: My comments are written in cowshit brown.Windsor
AustraliaOverheard by: DesignGirl [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

Tuesday 24 March 14:22:00 UTC 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 
[Link]

Mental Floss » Why Is It That You "Can't Even" But You Never Find That You "Can Even"?

Tuesday 24 March 14:00:00 UTC 2015

It has nothing to do with the mesmeric power of Bandycoot Cabbagepatch's name or a particularly wow grammar of doge or anything else that might affect your ability to even. No, we need to go back to even's canonical use. For example, these sound fine: She doesn't even go here.
She hasn't ever gone here.
She didn't go anywhere. But … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Full of Empty Pizza Boxes

Tuesday 24 March 13:20:15 UTC 2015

Manager: Everybody who was smoking pot in here last night is fired! … Okay, looks like I have a vacant building.Schenectady, New YorkOverheard by: fired [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this snack defender [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 March 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Bacon Rage

Tuesday 24 March 12:49:51 UTC 2015

Or rather, No-Bacon Rage. Shaneka Monique Torres ordered a bacon burger at McDonalds, but got a burger without bacon. She "vigorously demonstrated her dissatisfaction" and received a free bacon burger as compensation. Her hunger not yet satisfied, she returned a few hours later for another bacon burger, but again received a burger without bacon. At which point she pulled out a … [Link]

GraphJam » Uses of tin foil at university:

Tuesday 24 March 12:30:00 UTC 2015

food pirates Romans school swords tin foil Tomb Raider university LoL by: isabelle.bensberg Tagged: food , pirates , Romans , school , swords , tin foil , Tomb Raider , university Share on Facebook [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …But I Think He's at His Knitting Club.

Tuesday 24 March 12:19:04 UTC 2015

Office girl: I gotta call Peter to tell him he forgot his balls.Inkster, MichiganOverheard by: Don't wanna see 'em [Link]

Fark.com RSS » GermanWings meets FrenchAlps [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 24 March 11:58:20 UTC 2015

NewsFlash [link] [488 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Video Premiere: Jane Goodall on Instincts

Tuesday 24 March 11:50:04 UTC 2015

The world premiere of a short film featuring Jane Goodall, chimpanzee expert and conservationist. [Link]

Mental Floss » How Tall Are These 11 Commonly Known Objects?

Tuesday 24 March 11:50:03 UTC 2015

We all know a football field is 100 yards and an Olympic swimming pool is 50 meters, but exactly how big are the buildings we pass by every day or the sites we learn about in school? Here’s how everything measures up—in terms that are easy to understand (but may boggle your mind just the same). 1. Pencil; 7.5 inches … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 March 11:49:01 UTC 2015

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » At "Whit"s End

Tuesday 24 March 11:45:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Terrorists couldn't take down Charlie Hebdo, but success just might [Followup]

Tuesday 24 March 11:40:36 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smuckers, the yellow mutt, dug up a Purple Heart medal in his family's backyard. Ten years later, it's returned to the family of the veteran who earned it [Sappy]

Tuesday 24 March 11:25:23 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tech startup creates its own mass transit so that the elite don't have to hang out with the poors [Asinine]

Tuesday 24 March 11:10:32 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [189 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Li says FML

Tuesday 24 March 11:04:35 UTC 2015

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 50 Facts About Earth, From Top to Bottom

Tuesday 24 March 11:00:00 UTC 2015

If you're looking for some extremely general trivia, look no further. This cool infographic gives facts about all the different aspects of Earth. You can learn about everything from the International Space Station down to iron center. [via Giraffe] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Face of Jesus appears in South American landslide. Local land owners immediately start charging people to see it, just like Jesus would have wanted (w/pics) [Unlikely]

Tuesday 24 March 10:39:17 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For everyone who was wondering about the family involved in a deadly brawl this past weekend in the parking lot of an Arizona Walmart, it turns out they were all part of a traveling street band from Idaho [Followup]

Tuesday 24 March 10:30:38 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [63 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

Tuesday 24 March 10:30:00 UTC 2015

best of week,hamster ball,rollerblades,zombie apocalypse Graph by: (via Dog House Diaries) Tagged: best of week , hamster ball , rollerblades , zombie apocalypse Share on Facebook [Link]

Weird Universe » The Little Foxes Club

Tuesday 24 March 10:29:35 UTC 2015

I can't find too much information on the "Little Foxes Club," whose mission was to promote African-American female beauty. In 1958, they had a beauty contest in Detroit.

Original article here.

And they were mentioned in this 1966 cheesecake photo.

Original article here.

I can only imagine the loud controversy such an organization would bring down upon itself in these … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As Jehovah is my Witness, I thought I could have sleepovers and sex with that 15-year-old boy [Fail]

Tuesday 24 March 10:21:24 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Sports Cars to Drool Over

Tuesday 24 March 10:00:12 UTC 2015

The 10 most beautiful cars money can buy. The list is a little heavy on Batman-style sports cars, but that’s okay.
*
The Ghoulish Dance of Papua New Guinea’s Skeleton People. The Chimbu tribe’s fearsome body paint is meant to intimidate enemies and impress strangers.
*
The Woman Emperor. The ruthless Wu Zetian didn’t let little things like gender or inheritance … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study: Colorado's pot is more potent than ever: "Current THC levels are three times as high as the concentrations in the street strains of the 1960s and '70s" [Spiffy]

Tuesday 24 March 9:58:01 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey all you critics of the Fark headlines: Here are eight ways you can complain less and not be such a whiner [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 March 9:34:51 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nose picking, scab peeling, fingernail biting, and other disgusting habits your children picked up from watching you [Sick]

Tuesday 24 March 9:08:56 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oregon father blows marijuana smoke into his infant child's mouth. Puff daddy [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 March 9:00:58 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » These days, it's not even safe to walk through an angry protest while black [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 March 9:00:42 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why size has nothing to do with sex appeal (possibly not safe for work) [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 March 8:49:52 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [97 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » jumanji says FML

Tuesday 24 March 8:43:50 UTC 2015

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 March 8:43:49 UTC 2015

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former police officer jailed for murdering his wife kills his entire family when they come to visit him in prison [Scary]

Tuesday 24 March 8:28:30 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Zombie Simulator Tells You The Best Place To Hide In Case Of Outbreak

Tuesday 24 March 8:00:00 UTC 2015

Let's say the zombie apocalypse started in New York City. Should you stay and defend your apartment, or should you flee? A simulation developed by graduate students at Cornell University shows that people who want to survive the zombie apocalypse should get out of town—any town—and head for the remotest areas around the Rocky Mountains. “The places on the map … [Link]

Futility Closet » Animal Spirits

Tuesday 24 March 6:30:56 UTC 2015

Football fans found an unlikely oracle during the 2008 European championship: an octopus named Paul. Before each match his keepers at the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany, would lower two boxes of food into his tank, each bearing the flag of an upcoming competitor. Surprisingly, Paul correctly chose the winner in four of Germany’s six games. When some observers … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Can I Play, Too?

Tuesday 24 March 5:28:31 UTC 2015

Worried manager: What are you doing over there? Sounds like you are playing with Legos. Dear God, you are!Hartford, Connecticut [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Is There a Shortcut for That?

Tuesday 24 March 5:28:30 UTC 2015

Office girl #1: Is there a shortcut to delete something in excel?Office girl #2: Just hit delete.Office girl #1: Yeah but you know how Control-c is copy and Control-v is paste.Office girl #2: Well there is an actual delete button.Office girl #1: No, I know -I am just trying to save time.Office girl #2: Well hitting two buttons is not going … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Them Some Mad Symbolist Tomes, Bro

Tuesday 24 March 5:28:29 UTC 2015

Jock #1: Need me some Steinbeck. You read Grapes of Wrath yet?Jock #2: No.Jock #1: Makes East of Eden look like trash! It’s hardcore. Jock #3: Whoa! Cannery Row!All three: Awesome.Barnes & Noble
Southlake, TexasOverheard by: They can read? [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Don't Worry– I Only Wear Them When I Mock You.

Tuesday 24 March 5:28:28 UTC 2015

Coworker #1: I didn't know you wore glasses!Coworker #2: These are yours.Manhattan, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Hold Still

Tuesday 24 March 5:27:49 UTC 2015

Boss, leaning over printer: I'm getting duplicates up the wa-doo-da!Gay art director: I hate when that happens.The Village
Manhattan, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ex-Dukes of Hazzard star: "Confederate flag license plates are part of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s vision for America." No, that's not General Lee accepted, Cooter [Unlikely]

Tuesday 24 March 4:38:00 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Meeting with HR

Tuesday 24 March 4:23:35 UTC 2015

Manager: So, is your girlfriend taking you out for your birthday?
Accountant: No, I’m going out with my friends.
Manager: If I were your girlfriend, I wouldn’t put up with that shit.
Accountant: Well, you’re not, and you don’t have to.
Manager: …It’s not like you’re allowed to marry your friends and have kids someday…
Accountant: Well, in some places … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newly crowned Miss Universe Japan criticized for "not being Japanese enough" [Stupid]

Tuesday 24 March 3:34:19 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [246 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Could You Describe to Me What She's Wearing?

Tuesday 24 March 2:19:41 UTC 2015

20-something male cube dweller on phone: Hi, this is…hello? (pause) Oh, wow. No, sorry, I just heard your tone of voice and thought I should have been paying 4.99 for the call. (laughing) Is your mom home, or is she on her way here?CRPC
Leeds
EnglandOverheard by: cubenerdery [Link]

FMyLife » stuck says FML

Tuesday 24 March 2:00:19 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Mr. Sniffles says FML

Tuesday 24 March 2:00:18 UTC 2015

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Fall of Przemyśl

Tuesday 24 March 2:00:00 UTC 2015

Wikimedia Commons March 22-23, 1915: Fall of Przemyśl For 131 days from November 12, 1914 to March 23, 1915, the Austrian fortress town of Przemyśl (Puh-SHEM-ish-le) was under siege, with around 130,000 Habsburg troops trapped by a Russian force of about the same size, determined to starve the enemy into submission. The beleaguered defenders finally threw in the towel on … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mt Rainier had nine earthquakes today. Sleep well tonight, Seattle [Scary]

Tuesday 24 March 1:34:22 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [232 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists want to mine human feces for precious metals like gold and platinum. Sounds like a load of crap to me [Unlikely]

Tuesday 24 March 1:30:50 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Yeah, I Said It!

Tuesday 24 March 1:17:33 UTC 2015

Middle-aged cube rat, surfing the internet: A dog has no business looking like a cow.Toronto
CanadiaOverheard by: killmei'mbored [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stunt man runs 645 feet while on fire to break record previously held by Richard Pryor [Scary]

Tuesday 24 March 1:05:47 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Then, George Zimmerman said Obama personally victimized him and compared himself to Anne Frank [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 March 0:57:08 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [356 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this solar eclipse [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 March 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Scientists Use Images of the Sky to Time Travel to Stars

Tuesday 24 March 0:00:00 UTC 2015

It's no secret that I'm a big fan of the American Museum of Natural History's series Shelf Life, which gives viewers a behind-the-scenes look at the museum's collections. This month's episode, "How to Time Travel to a Star," is a little different than previous episodes, because the collections of astrophysicists look a lot different than traditional natural history collections. "One … [Link]

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