Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Exploding Spider-Man costume being pulled off shelves, despite assurances by Irving Mainway that it is no more dangerous than his "Johnny Human Torch" and "Johnny Space Commander" lines of costumes [Scary]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Well, Great, Glad You’re Right on Top of This
Blonde receptionist: Do you have any Krazy Glue?Paralegal: I don’t think so. Why?Blonde receptionist: My tooth fell out.Paralegal: I think you need to see a dentist.Blonde receptionist: No, my teeth are always falling out and I just Krazy Glue them back in.Paralegal: Krazy Glue? Maybe that’s why you’ve been getting all those headaches…Blonde receptionist: No, that’s because I quit smoking back … [Link]
FMyLife » { o } says FML
Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cops raid brothel, find four other cops and the convicted murderer they were supposed to be transporting [Fail]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Think We'll Both Be Disappointed
Coworker, looking for food: Can I go through your drawers and find something to snack on?Englewood, Colorado [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you aren't too busy dodging sandworms, now would be a good time to check the condition of your stillsuit [Scary]
[link] [142 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Singamourn [Sad]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Living in a van, down by the river. New hotness: Living in a tent-boat, ON the river [Interesting]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't panic, but some day there may be 2 Floridas [Florida]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The best whiskey in the world is … made in Taiwan? [Weird]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you get a recall notice for your car, do you get the free repair promptly, or are you one of the 36 million bastards endangering the lives of everyone else on U.S. roads? [Interesting]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pointer and listener [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Woman sees face in cloud. New: She doesn't claim it's Jesus. Fark: Well, then who else could it be? [Silly]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japan to build a massive sea wall to combat threat from the ocean, apparently forgetting how well that strategy worked against the kaiju in "Pacific Rim" [Followup]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » tobuscus9412 says FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML [Link]
FMyLife » van no gough says FML
Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Disney fanatic wants to #freethemonorail by sending it to Burning Man so it can "follow its own path" [Strange]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » Time Spent When A Pop-Up Ad Comes Up
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , button , close , finding , looking , pop up ads Share on Facebook
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » No [Obvious]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhh…
Graph by: Ka0nashi Tagged: brains , Pie Chart , skulls , ugh , zombie apocalypse Share on Facebook
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Stories Behind 6 Classic Stephen Sondheim Songs
Composer, lyricist, and Broadway legend Stephen Sondheim turns 85 today. Celebrate with a look back at a few of the many iconic songs he has written in his career. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man stranded on Vanuatu following Cyclone Pam survives on diet of flying foxes, finches and bats, reports they all taste pretty much like chicken [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Holdouts
Only three countries have not officially adopted the metric system: Liberia, Myanmar, and the United States. In October 2013 Myanmar announced that it plans to make the switch. The post Holdouts appeared first on Futility Closet. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A woman gets caught in rip tide. Husband tries to save her and is caught too. Then: A Bernese mountain dog named Nico jumps in [Hero]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you ever go to Brazil, some of the things you'll first notice are that people are making out all over the place, you can use your napkin to make a joint, and the noise. The noise everywhere [Spiffy]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Over Achiever
Some kids just build snow men. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thousands expected to witness funeral procession of King Richard III. This is not a repeat from 1485 [Interesting]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japan's real-life "Radioactive Man" returns to Fukushima to feed animals that were left behind (pics) [Hero]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ZooMontana shows off their 3 ugly-ass river otter pups [Spiffy]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Um, All I Asked Was, “Do You Have the Danbury File?”
60-year-old prim-looking secretary: That spaghetti sauce I made last night ran right through me. I was on the pot all night.Greensboro, North Carolina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Only in Church Leagues
Dodgeball learner: So, are you allowed to grab the other team's balls?Hanover, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Do You Think Our Product Caused Him to Explode?
Executive: So I ended up with the meth head’s blood all over my face.8081 Wallace Road
Minneapolis, Minnesota [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rare quadruplet calves born. Milk now comes from de-calf-inated cow [Strange]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Know the Paper Doesn't Actually Go Through the Phone Line?
Boss (giving papers to peon) Would you please fax these for me ASAP?Peon (taking papers) Sure thing.Peon (faxes, brings back papers) Here you go.Boss: I thought I told you to fax these!San Diego, California [Link]
GraphJam » Anatomy of a Facebook Complaint
Graph by: (via Bite) Tagged: complaining , facebook , social network , yo dawg Share on Facebook
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Talk About a Job…
Coworker #1: Suck my dick, bitch!Coworker #2: Like a boss!Gauteng
South AfricaOverheard by: Jan Blam [Link]
FMyLife » noway says FML
Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Nagging as divorce cause
The 1947 case of DeWaal vs. DeWaal established nagging as legitimate grounds for divorce (in Nebraska). I assume this was before the availability of no-fault divorce. (A quick google search reveals that Nebraska only adopted a no-fault divorce law in 1972.)
Note that Mrs. DeWaal argued that her husband was at fault (and not herself) because he went to motion … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This rare ugly-ass mammal has been photographed for the first time in 20 years [Spiffy]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Charging 10 cents for a plastic bag is now considered a sin, according to someone apparently unable to remember to bring a reusable bag [Stupid]
[link] [206 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Then We Give It to the Clients, and It's a Happy Ending for Everyone
Data geek #1: Do they massage the data before they give it the clients?Data geek #2: Oh, we massage it like it's Kobe beef.Salt Lake City, Utah [Link]
Mental Floss » Students are Building the World's Largest Telescope
It detects cosmic rays, and it doesn't look anything like a telescope. But still…SCIENCE! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bubbly good time [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Noxious Neighbors and Rotten Roommates [CSB]
[link] [194 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Placenta Smoothies
Unsafe for Revulsion-prone Stomachs. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Planning to drive on Parisian roads on Monday? If you have an even-numbered license plate – laissez votre voiture dans le garage [Interesting]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Paraguay’s Scrappy “Recycled Orchestra”
The residents of a small town in Paraguay where a violin costs more than a house haven't let poverty keep them from making music. Demonstrating remarkable resourcefulness and skill, local trash-pickers who got into the craft of instrument-making from discarded goods provide the means for local youth to form a "Recycled Orchestra" that regularly proves how one man's trash can … [Link]
FMyLife » ellabellabooboo says FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Nexpecto says FML
Today, I was startled by my roommate marching a drunk man out of our apartment. Somehow he found his way in complete darkness into the bathroom without alerting me or my dog next to the only door. He mistook the clothes hamper for the toilet. FML [Link]
FMyLife » stoprubbingitinmyface says FML
Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The humble chicken wing is flying high. Still no consensus whether the wing drumette or the wing mid-section is better [Spiffy]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Now Tell Me Again About This “Desk” Concept Of Yours
Coworker: I like the chair idea, otherwise I'm afraid someone will get hurt.Manhattan, New York [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Tricks for Making Video Chats With Friends More Fun and Immersive
Video chatting is a convenient way to talk to friends, and new innovations make it more fun than ever to stay in touch. 1. Mess with the Effects Distort reality by changing the filters or effects on your screen. Video chat services like iChat for Mac users or Tango for Androids even let you edit or distort the image, kind … [Link]
FMyLife » poop says FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML [Link]
FMyLife » pikachu_43 says FML
Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Mom, I have something I need to tell you. I used to be somebody else" [Weird]
[link] [456 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Wish List
I may as well just tell you a few of the things I like, and then, whenever you want to give me a birthday present (my birthday comes once every seven years, on the fifth Tuesday in April) you will know what to give me. Well, I like, very much indeed, a little mustard with a bit of beef spread … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gee, thanks a lot mom [Dumbass]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I left my job as a high-powered corporate vice president in order to sit on my ass at home all day" [Fail]
[link] [169 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT), it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska hosted by a farker [Cool]
[link] [379 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How the NCAA Made Robert Parish Disappear
Parish had a monster college career, but according to the NCAA, the games he played in never took place. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tourism officials concerned about rising number of people traveling to Phuket to commit suicide, as sales of Phuketall shoot up [Sad]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Misconceptions About Psychology
Plus a sneak peek at a very special episode. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman, tired of her neighbor's dog defecating in her yard, gets into a heated argument that ends when she smears dog feces all over the neighbor. Seems reasonable [Florida]
[link] [171 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Is Murder Like Eating Potato Chips, Alex?
Female employee #1: I wish murder was legal. There is one rotten person I would definitely out for this world.Female employee #2: Just one?Syracuse, New YorkOverheard by: I feel the same… [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Most Annoying Of All the Sauropods
New guy: What is everyone having to drink?Older employee, trying to sound sophisticated: I think I'm going to go with a red wine. I heard the Merlot was good. I consider myself somewhat of a connoissaurus.Office Retreat
Albuquerque, New MexicoOverheard by: I didn't hire her. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Place the Blame Squarely on Television
Worker bee to another: Did you hear our children are going to be the first generation to be stupider than their parents? Pharmaceutical company
New Jersey Overheard by: Intern [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Best Definition Of “Win-Win” to Date
Man to friend: If I knew it was that easy to lose weight from getting sick I'd have licked my dog's butt a long time ago.Atlanta, GeorgiaOverheard by: Chimpy [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Marketing Session
Co-worker #1: Are Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs homoerotic?
Co-worker #2: Oh my god. Totally!
Co-worker #1: But they aren’t gay, right?
Co-worker #2: What do you think homoerotic means? 584 Broadway
New York, NY [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Handiest pair of pants, ever (not safe for work) [Spiffy]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’d Have to See Them Dance
Female potential juror: I can’t sit on a jury for religious reasons. I don’t believe in judging people.Lawyer: This is a negligence case. You won’t be deciding if somebody is good or evil. There’s no question of morality involved.Female potential juror: Whatever — it’s against my religious convictions to judge people.Lawyer: You understand that we’re not asking you to send someone … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rare 18-year "supertide" turns Mont Saint-Michel into an island (with pics) [Cool]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Conference Call
Employee #1: Okay, we’ll send an intern over, then.
Employee #2 on speaker: That’d be great. Do you have any Asians? 250 Park Ave South
New York, NY [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this grainy photo [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
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