John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Weird Universe » World’s Largest Cuckoo Clock Contender

Friday 20 March 23:51:33 UTC 2015


Sugarcreek, Ohio has what they claim is the world's largest cuckoo clock. In fact it had been on display at a couple of different venues for many years. It is quite a lovely and charming tourist attraction. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bristol Palin's fiancé is about as smart as you'd expect [Dumbass]

Friday 20 March 23:45:45 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [283 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A pig like that you don't eat all at once [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 23:09:12 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teenagers arrested for participating in collaborative, well organized, goal oriented project [Dumbass]

Friday 20 March 22:56:53 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Excuse me, but I think your vagina is glowing [Scary]

Friday 20 March 22:55:13 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You work one day as a temp. No big deal. You sue the state for an annual pension of more than $30,000. Big Deal. Asinine Tag: You're already pulling down $60,000+ from two *other* state pension systems [Asinine]

Friday 20 March 22:54:48 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Glad and Sorry, Actually

Friday 20 March 22:21:23 UTC 2015

Coworker #1: I've had “Come Dancing” by The Kinks in my head all morning.Coworker #2: I'm glad you said “by The Kinks”.One World Financial Center
Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: Bryan [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lack of education and opportunity lead to aids outbreak in Southern Africa and Southern Indiana [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 22:19:34 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Feathery Facts About Peacocks

Friday 20 March 22:00:00 UTC 2015

With its massive tail and iridescent colors, this bird has long fascinated its human observers—and we’re still learning its secrets. For example, a study recently published in The British Journal of Animal Behaviour says that when a peacock fans its ornamented train for the ladies during mating season, its feathers quiver, emitting a low-frequency sound inaudible to human ears. Depending … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iran tells Obama to stick his negotiations up his diversity [Followup]

Friday 20 March 21:46:30 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman searching under her bed for her cats finds a burglar instead [Florida]

Friday 20 March 21:36:15 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'm not a bad person. I haven't put a hit out on anyone for seven years" [Asinine]

Friday 20 March 21:25:30 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Largest Craft Brewery Per State

Friday 20 March 20:58:19 UTC 2015

Chloe Effron/Click to enlarge Today's map was created by mental_floss designer, Chloe Effron. Last year, the Brewers Association released a list of the top 50 craft brewing companies by beer sales volume. [PDF] With craft breweries cropping up across the country, more and more states are getting their own breweries. Using the BA's list as a jumping off point, mental_floss … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ten Michigan State Police officers spend 2 1/2 months investigating deadly 200-vehicle wreck to decide which drivers should get speeding tickets [Misc]

Friday 20 March 20:49:09 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Honor your mother and father, and love your neighbor as you would Satan. Wait, what? [Asinine]

Friday 20 March 20:43:22 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Mapping Street Art

Friday 20 March 20:30:00 UTC 2015

Google has put 10,000 different pieces of street art online, and even pinpoints the location of each so you can go see them (before they get painted over, that is). * It’s been a huge month for archeological discovery. Take a look at some of the major things that have been uncovered in just the last few weeks. * Dance … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this airborne sheep [Photoshop]

Friday 20 March 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Kid wants mom to write note excusing her from PE. Fark: Mom pwns daughter by telling the teacher that she should run extra laps [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 19:49:16 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Early Versions of Famous Fictional Characters

Friday 20 March 19:27:31 UTC 2015

Every popular movie and TV character has to start somewhere. Here are 8 early versions of famous fictional characters. 1. James Bond Before Sean Connery played British Secret Service agent James Bond in Dr. No in 1962, a live black-and-white TV adaptation of Casino Royale appeared on CBS in 1954. CBS briefly obtained the film rights to Ian Fleming's first … [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Disney Animated Classics With One Word Titles

Friday 20 March 19:27:23 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » For those of you currently not watching March Madness while holding a bag of frozen vegetables against your crotch, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz [Survey]

Friday 20 March 19:11:58 UTC 2015

Survey [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption these visitors from the South [Caption]

Friday 20 March 19:00:01 UTC 2015

Caption [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Commentary

Friday 20 March 18:59:51 UTC 2015

Reviews of a test pattern on Netflix: “Not as good as the book. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve pretty much seen the whole thing. I hope ‘Downscaling 2998fps: Too Down, Too Scaler’ is better.” “This is truly some of the best acting I’ve ever seen Keanu Reeves do. Hands down.” “Not since Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist has there been … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: "Man fatally shot multiple times". Jesus, sometimes dead IS better [Scary]

Friday 20 March 18:59:01 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What if you threw a war and nobody came? Wait, that's just silly. What if you threw a job fair instead? [Strange]

Friday 20 March 18:47:55 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [39 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » MirandaJones says FML

Friday 20 March 18:39:38 UTC 2015

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML [Link]

GraphJam » Why I Didn't Understand Inception

Friday 20 March 18:39:37 UTC 2015

Graph by: poscar Tagged: a-scene-within-a-peen , bathroom , Inception , interesting , movies , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » ZG_Rules says FML

Friday 20 March 18:39:37 UTC 2015

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML [Link]

GraphJam » You Know the Cat Does it on Purpose

Friday 20 March 18:39:36 UTC 2015

Graph by: (via Stefan Becket) Tagged: Cats , distance , infographic , pets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things My Microwave Heats

Friday 20 March 18:39:35 UTC 2015

burnt food microwave my hands Pie Chart - 3738160384 Graph by: daisuke909 Tagged: burnt , food , microwave , my hands , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Pod City: ‘Daily Show,’ ‘TLDR,’ and More of the Week’s Best Podcasts

Friday 20 March 18:30:00 UTC 2015

Whether you’re in the mood to hear from a famous chef or the man who co-wrote Anchorman and Step Brothers, there’s a podcast for you this week. Below are my recent favorites, and you can always delve into the archive for more suggestions. WAFFLE HOUSE TRIES TO GET CUSTOMERS IN AND OUT IN 19 MINUTES. Bon Appetit Foodcast, Episode 7 … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Used Words in Men’s vs. Women’s Basketball Coverage

Friday 20 March 18:30:00 UTC 2015

March Madness is that time of the year when we collectively relearn that, even more than four decades after Title IX, there’s still “college basketball” and then there’s “women’s college basketball.” It’s startling how easily we associate phrases like “fill out your bracket” with men’s—and not women’s—basketball, despite the fact that both are currently competing in championship tournaments. This suggests … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Travel tip: Your hatchet, brass knuckles and folding knife should go into checked luggage, not carry-on [Obvious]

Friday 20 March 18:27:03 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [31 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: New Hampshire Legislators Kill Fourth-Graders’ Bill To Their Faces

Friday 20 March 18:23:00 UTC 2015

When a group of fourth graders in New Hampshire proposed a bill in the state legislature to establish the red-tailed hawk as the New Hampshire state raptor, lawmakers shut the measure down, arguing, “It grasps [its prey] with its talons then uses it…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » United Nations: Today is International Happiness Day. Ireland: You're about nine days late [Amusing]

Friday 20 March 18:15:18 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » TSA officer notices man convicted of murder and explosives offenses in PreCheck line but supervisor lets him through because who wants people like that in your work area [Dumbass]

Friday 20 March 18:11:14 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A long-running dispute in Iceland about a new road blocked by a large rock some consider to be an "elf church" has finally been put to rest – by moving the offending 70-tonne mass" (pic) [Followup]

Friday 20 March 18:05:18 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How your email address could be hurting your career: employers less likely to hire people who use underscores or 'cute' words in their address, and anything with ultrafark.com is immediately shredded [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 18:04:44 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [200 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida cops hunt for naked female Spring Breaker who "may be in danger." Well, that narrows it down to a few thousand [Florida]

Friday 20 March 17:39:17 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Dude, She Wants You to Ask Why — Don’t Do It

Friday 20 March 17:37:36 UTC 2015

Female worker bee: Next time I make popcorn, I’m putting it in my pants.Columbus Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Everyone Knows Encyclopedias Are Just Speculation!

Friday 20 March 17:37:35 UTC 2015

Coworker #1, reading article: ‘Morphine is highly addictive…’Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive.Coworker #1: But it says right here in this encyclopedia article–Coworker #2: —Morphine is not addictive.All other coworkers: It says right here!Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive! I know this for a fact!Lunch break
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I've Been Avoiding Books for Too Long

Friday 20 March 17:37:27 UTC 2015

Head of science, congratulating speaker after lecture on libraries: Thanks for telling me about the state library. When did it open?Queensland
AustraliaOverheard by: gobsmacked [Link]

Mental Floss » What Simple Thing Did You Learn at an Embarrassingly Late Age?

Friday 20 March 17:34:11 UTC 2015

On Fridays, we ask a bunch of unrelated questions. Your answers help get us through the afternoon. Answer one, answer all, or ask your own question. On to this week's topics… [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Domed Facts About Stegoceras

Friday 20 March 17:30:00 UTC 2015

Sebastian Bergmann, Wikimedia Commons // CC BY-SA 2.0 Thanks to its similar-sounding name, today’s dino will always get mixed up with the spiky-tailed, crowd-pleasing Stegosaurus. If you caught these two standing side by side, however, you’d have no trouble telling them apart. Bipedal Stegoceras had a very different profile and led a very different lifestyle. 1. Its Back Legs Were … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ACLU claims TSA's screening tool is 'a waste,' surprising many TSA officials who find it just as effective as everything else they do [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 17:28:55 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefighters save four puppies from house fire, prevent police onscene from shooting the puppies after the rescue [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 17:27:03 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review

Friday 20 March 17:26:18 UTC 2015

Fish Spill in China Leaves No Mess A truck carrying 6,800 kilograms of catfish spilled its load Tuesday when the door swung open in Guizhou province, China. Tons of fish covered the road in the Kaili Development Zone. But the incident did not end with a call to a hazmat crew, or people carrying fish home with them. A fire … [Link]

The Onion » Man Filled With Gratitude At Sight Of Other Customer In Nice Restaurant Wearing Jeans

Friday 20 March 17:21:00 UTC 2015

HOBOKEN, NJ—Assuaging the initial panic he felt after noticing the formal attire of other patrons around him, 29-year-old Keith Vaughn was said to be overcome with gratitude Thursday when he finally spotted another customer wearing jeans at local bi…
[Link]

Mental Floss » Grave Sightings: Dwight D. Eisenhower

Friday 20 March 17:00:00 UTC 2015

Every time we so much as touch a toe out of state, I’ve put cemeteries on our travel itinerary. From garden-like expanses to overgrown boot hills, whether they’re the final resting places of the well-known but not that important or the important but not that well-known, I love them all. After realizing that there are a lot of taphophiles out … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefighters battling extra alarm fire at fire extinguisher factory hampered by a poor water supply [Ironic]

Friday 20 March 16:57:30 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man's naked body found in Napa freezer. Authorities fairly sure it isn't just a Chase Elliott blow-up doll [Strange]

Friday 20 March 16:50:31 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man tells police showing pictures of his penis to store employees 'Cheers me up" [Obvious]

Friday 20 March 16:45:39 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [43 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Magazine: Harnessing The Power Of Your Apartment’s Electricity

Friday 20 March 16:43:00 UTC 2015

Harnessing The Power Of Your Apartment’s Electricity
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you dress your cat embarrassingly, it will lose the will to go out and kill birds [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 16:38:02 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: If you are going to steal a police car, don't drive it to one of their parking lots. "…it was the easiest auto theft arrest they'd ever had" [Strange]

Friday 20 March 16:32:43 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Frank race talk: There are no Starbucks in Selma or Ferguson. Discuss [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 16:18:59 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [195 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Career Tip: Learn Which Colleagues to Leave Alone in the Morning

Friday 20 March 16:13:54 UTC 2015

Office girl, popping head into cubicle: Hi Jane*!Jane: Ahhhhhhh! (frightened, ear-piercing scream that goes on for 20 seconds)Office girl: Sh! Shh! It's me!Jane: (carries on screaming)Ad Agency
SingaporeOverheard by: eM [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the 92-year-old ex-janitor who left an unexpected $8 million to a local hospital and library? How did he amass his secret fortune? Two words – discipline and patience [Followup]

Friday 20 March 16:12:42 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Phoenix Zoo discovers a two-year-old bear is female, not male, say they stand by its life choice [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 16:12:07 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » University of Illinois Chicago student accused of committing a Fifty Shades of Grey inspired rape cleared of all charges, remains free on bondage [Followup]

Friday 20 March 16:08:58 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 of the Most Absurd NCAA Violations in Recent Memory

Friday 20 March 16:00:00 UTC 2015

The NCAA has a lot of rules and, as a self-governing body, they rarely have anyone standing in the way when they want to add, remove, or alter these rules. Their list of guidelines and regulations is changing all the time, and this frequently results in violations by students, schools, or school employees that, when put in the context of … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lakeland cop caught sending dirty messages to 24-month-old [Florida]

Friday 20 March 15:46:37 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother of the Year candidate accused of chaining her children to a washing machine with dog collars, forcing them to sleep on the floor and perform demeaning chores [Florida]

Friday 20 March 15:43:01 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: Getting Massages At Airports Apparently Part Of Certain People’s Lives

Friday 20 March 15:40:00 UTC 2015

DENVER—Noting that there were, in fact, several customers at the XpresSpa in the Denver International Airport, sources confirmed Friday that getting a massage at the airport is apparently a part of certain people’s lives.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Once again, March Madness is a popular time for vasectomies, a perfect way to celebrate your most hated team getting cut [Strange]

Friday 20 March 15:26:18 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Darwin wins by going in One Direction with fan who just had to listen to the music instead of the train [Dumbass]

Friday 20 March 15:24:56 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York's hottest restaurant is WastED It's got everything: garbage, leavings, slop, and that thing where you eat the unlaid eggs of slaughtered hens [Strange]

Friday 20 March 15:22:38 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Sales Reports Due

Friday 20 March 15:11:32 UTC 2015

Co-worker #1: …I think you have a future in fertilizer sales, man.
Co-worker #2: I wouldn’t be surprised. 20 Park Plaza
Boston, Massachusetts [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Lego Magazine Offers Beauty Tips To Young Girls

Friday 20 March 15:05:00 UTC 2015

Lego angered some parents this week with a spread in its Lego Club Magazine titled “Emma’s Beauty Tips,” which is aimed at 5- to 12-year-old girls, offering pointers on styling hair and going to the salon.
[Link]

GraphJam » I'd Love Some Cereal Right Now

Friday 20 March 14:59:35 UTC 2015

best of week,breakfast,cereal,cleaning,dishes,flow chart Graph by: (via Twice Shy) Tagged: best of week , breakfast , cereal , cleaning , dishes , flow chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chances I am the 999,999th visitor to a given website

Friday 20 March 14:59:33 UTC 2015

LoL by: GrZ Tagged: ads , internet , spam , technology , website Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » DDRFreak says FML

Friday 20 March 14:59:31 UTC 2015

Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Monica Lewinsky's TED talk is spot on [Obvious]

Friday 20 March 14:41:33 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [296 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Hiccupops

Friday 20 March 14:30:38 UTC 2015

What were you doing when you were 16? Not much? 16-year-old Mallory Kievman has invented a cure for hiccups (one that apparently actually works) and set up a business to manufacture it. She's also been invited to the White House Science Fair in a few days. From patch.com:

Kievman invented "hiccupops" after her own bout with the hiccups around the seventh … [Link]

Mental Floss » Who Actually Invented The Wheel?

Friday 20 March 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Historically speaking, wheels are a much newer development than you might expect. The oldest recovered specimen is a wooden Slovenian model built sometime between 5,100 and 5,350 years ago. By then, humans had already been practicing agriculture for several millennia—in fact, farming may date all the way back to 12,000 BCE. Canoes and animal domestication also vastly predate the wheel. … [Link]

The Onion » Rick Pitino Likes What He’s Seeing From Freshman Louisville Cheerleader

Friday 20 March 14:29:00 UTC 2015

SEATTLE—Praising her incredible physique and wide array of intangible qualities, Louisville men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino told reporters Friday that he has absolutely loved what he’s seen thus far from freshman cheerleader Danielle …
[Link]

The Onion » Study: Not Many Disco Songs About Daytime

Friday 20 March 14:24:00 UTC 2015

NEW YORK—In perhaps the most comprehensive analysis yet of the genre’s lyrical content, a Columbia University study published Friday found that very few disco songs have been written about daytime. The survey, which encompassed every known dis…
[Link]

The Onion » New Arrivals Consult Wise Couple Who Have Been At Resort For 3 Days Already

Friday 20 March 14:20:00 UTC 2015

CANCUN, MEXICO—Grateful for the veteran insight into the hotel accommodations and surrounding attractions, new arrivals to the Flamingo Hotel and Villas reportedly received indispensable advice Friday from a wise couple who had already been at the r…
[Link]

Overheard In The Office » I-W-I-S-H-I-C-O-U-L-D-F-I-R-E-Y-O-U

Friday 20 March 14:04:09 UTC 2015

Boss: Hey, how do you spell ‘Japanese’? [Peon spells it.] Hmmm, do you think she was Japanese? How do you spell ‘Chinese’? [Peon spells it.] I don’t know if she was Chinese, though… Here’s what we’ll do — [begins typing letter] ‘The child speaks Asian…’ Wait, how do you spell ‘Asian’?1000 West Central Road
Mount Prospect, IllinoisOverheard by: I work here? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember, looking at the eclipse is dangerous because polar bears [Scary]

Friday 20 March 13:38:07 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But Triumph the Insult Comic Just Laughed and Laughed

Friday 20 March 13:00:59 UTC 2015

Woman with thick Chinese accent on phone: Poop!? Poop!? You poop on the floor!? How old are you?Somerville, New Jersey [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this floater [Photoshop]

Friday 20 March 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Nintendo Conquered Manhattan in 1985

Friday 20 March 13:00:00 UTC 2015

“We’re launching in New York,” Hiroshi Yamauchi said, “because that’s where success happens.” [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know how frustrating it is when you have a word on the tip of your tongue but you just can't remember it? Well here's the… the.. the… the… data stuff behind it [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 12:48:34 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grassroots crime [Amusing]

Friday 20 March 12:40:53 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » World’s Biggest Cuckoo Clock

Friday 20 March 12:20:07 UTC 2015

Schonach, Germany, is the heart and homeland of the cuckoo-clock industry. Two houses in fact have been transformed into giant cuckoo clocks to commemorate this.

[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Surprising Benefits of a 2 in 1 Device

Friday 20 March 12:00:00 UTC 2015

With 2 in 1 devices you combine the portability of a tablet and the productivity of a powerful laptop. Here are a few more reasons why 2 in 1s are your best bet. 1. They’re Light As A Feather and Stiff As a Board Your shoulders and back will thank you because gone are the days where you need to … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 12PM Edit Reports

Friday 20 March 11:53:25 UTC 2015

Co-worker #1: Hey, come in here for a sec!
Co-worker #2: Can it wait a second? I’m trying to finish this by lunch.
Co-worker #1: Never mind; it’s just fart noises. 712 South McClintock Drive
Tempe, Arizona [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is why partying in Canada isn't for amateurs. (Link contains NSF-Lunch/graphic pics) [Scary]

Friday 20 March 11:48:17 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A "Drop" in the Bucket

Friday 20 March 11:45:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » OK, maybe she did run over three teenagers in a crosswalk. But it is hard to drive when you are filming your precious snowflake in the backseat. At least she wasn't writing bad checks again [Followup]

Friday 20 March 11:41:01 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Before dinosaurs took over the legislature, North Carolina was ruled by a nine-foot bipedal crocodile [Scary]

Friday 20 March 11:13:47 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Picattoo: Temporary Tattoos of Your Favorite Instagram Pics

Friday 20 March 11:00:00 UTC 2015

Looking for another way to get your pet photos out in the world? How about on your arm? Webstore Picattoo now lets you transform your pictures into temporary tattoos. Created by Ink361, this new product connects to either your Instagram or Facebook. With all your pictures at your fingertips, the only question is which pictures to tattoo-ify. That eggs benedict … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You'd think that if you're going through life with the name Bob Kat LittleCub, being kicked off Facebook would be the least of your problems. Mike Raccoon Eyes Kinney seems to disagree [Amusing]

Friday 20 March 10:48:55 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Update Resume

Friday 20 March 10:44:58 UTC 2015

Worker #1: I make less than everyone. People on unemployment make less than me.
Worker #2: Is that true?
Worker #1: No. 6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Functionally illiterate, homeless deaf man in airport is accused of stealing an iPad and jailed for six weeks without access to a sign language interpreter before he takes a plea deal. And then, the iPad is found [Strange]

Friday 20 March 10:41:45 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're a teacher, there are better ways to discipline a student than by stepping outside of the classroom while other students jump the troublemaker. Especially if the kids are only six [Asinine]

Friday 20 March 10:41:24 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Washington introduces bills to allow personal marijuana home grows: " I think it would be good for everybody to actually try it and experience [growing marijuana] for themselves" [Spiffy]

Friday 20 March 10:31:55 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No matter how small your home, you can always find space to put your bathtub in the library [Unlikely]

Friday 20 March 10:28:22 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 1792 penny, one of the first pieces of U.S. currency ever minted, to bring $2 million. Which shows that Ben Franklin was right that "a penny saved is a penny earned" … at least after 223 years [Spiffy]

Friday 20 March 10:23:31 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [21 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 20 March 10:23:26 UTC 2015

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser – the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California, ruining everyone's fun yet again by banning this awesome flamethrower [Cool]

Friday 20 March 10:16:00 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Okay foodies, do you know what pane ca meusa is? Well, it's the latest European fast food craze. Not sure if it tastes like chicken [Strange]

Friday 20 March 10:05:26 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Sing to Welcome Spring!

Friday 20 March 10:00:34 UTC 2015

10 Perfect Songs to Greet the Spring. With videos you’ll want to sing along with.
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The Bond Between Dogs And Humans May Boil Down To One Amazing Molecule. It comes from the petting and caressing.
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Matt Stopera of Buzzfeed became an accidental internet celebrity in China. A story about his stolen phone became a social media manhunt that … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seven more species of jellyfish to fear and loathe [Scary]

Friday 20 March 9:56:45 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Friday's 75-minute solar eclipse will cost Europe 30 gigawatts of solar-generated electrical power… unless, of course, it's cloudy anyway [Obvious]

Friday 20 March 9:53:42 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [27 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » TooShortToCleanThat says FML

Friday 20 March 9:52:18 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All this time you've been peeling mangoes, potatoes, and pomegranates the wrong way [Interesting]

Friday 20 March 9:38:40 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whooo. Spring Breeeeeeaaaaaak [Sad]

Friday 20 March 9:30:20 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Parents in Bihar, India achieve Level 99 in Helicopter Parenting [Strange]

Friday 20 March 9:05:00 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sanford police officer leaves his stun gun and bullets in his unmarked car parked at his home. He was surprised to learn the items had been stolen overnight [Florida]

Friday 20 March 9:02:49 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » shawnsmuffins says FML

Friday 20 March 8:53:52 UTC 2015

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese nurses urged to be nicer, show more patience with patients. One doctor "spent most of her time dealing with fights and quarrels between nurses and patients' families. In such circumstances, it was hard to enjoy being at work" [Obv

Friday 20 March 8:04:56 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Next Beer You Drink Could Be One That Has Been To Space

Friday 20 March 8:00:00 UTC 2015

People want beer that's been to space, or, at least, that's what certain breweries think. Come April 13, select retailers around the country will offer up an imperial stout brewed with yeast that traveled (very briefly) to space. Last year, Oregon-based Ninkasi Brewing Company started what they called the Ninkasi Space Company. In July, they launched the first batch of … [Link]

FMyLife » Fred says FML

Friday 20 March 7:36:18 UTC 2015

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Hm says FML

Friday 20 March 7:24:39 UTC 2015

Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If the only thing stopping you from hunting asteroids is your love for wearing pajamas, your world is about to change [Cool]

Friday 20 March 6:57:43 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes a childhood picture is worth a thousand memories [Sappy]

Friday 20 March 6:39:00 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Escape Suspenders

Friday 20 March 6:30:28 UTC 2015

In 1885 George C. Hale had the bright idea of weaving a zigzag cord into a pair of suspenders. Now if the wearer is trapped in a burning building, he can free the cord, lower it from a window to receive a rope, and escape to safety. Hale’s patent application says, “I have found by experimenting that from fifty to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Local news reports that kids are getting high by rubbing Burt's Bees peppermint lip gloss on their eyes, and by "reports" we mean "found an urban legend on the internet that was debunked a year ago" [Dumbass]

Friday 20 March 5:32:00 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After 13 years, the 1,640th victim of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attack on the World Trade Center is identified. Finally family gets a small amount of closure [Followup]

Friday 20 March 4:20:00 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's a farking party in MN at Freddy's in Maplewood. June 6, 2015 [FarkParty]

Friday 20 March 3:42:18 UTC 2015

FarkParty [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in time for Easter: the Creme Egg burger [Sick]

Friday 20 March 3:38:36 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Ma'am, You May Need More Services Than I Can Provide

Friday 20 March 2:37:28 UTC 2015

Operator: See that subject line? How am I supposed to know that that means?Perturbed developer: You can open it up and read the e-mail.Operator: Then I'd have to open multiple e-mails.Perturbed developer: Yes, you can do that. You can open multiple e-mails.Campus Office
St. Louis, Missouri [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And He Brings Death to His Enemies

Friday 20 March 2:37:27 UTC 2015

Student: Voldemort is like Bill Fates. He’s good at marketing, but he didn’t actually come up with Windows.33 East Congress
Chicago, IllinoisOverheard by: Stubby Boardman [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Why People Join AA

Friday 20 March 2:37:26 UTC 2015

Receptionist: I just can’t get the song from Pinocchio out of my head.Marketing director: Funny what pops into your head on the first round.Receptionist, singing: I’ve got no strings to hold me back…Marketing director: Later on, when we’re drinking, I’ll tell you about the midgets.City Center Building
Bellevue, Washington [Link]

Overheard In The Office » It's a Crappy Job but Someone's Gotta Do It (C'mon, We Had to Go There)

Friday 20 March 2:37:23 UTC 2015

Office manager to female employee: I have been told that when you are in the office, the women's bathroom goes though massive amounts of toilet paper.Female employee: I don't have to talk to you about that, that's bowel harassment!Louisville, Kentucky [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Most Popular U.S. High School Team Nicknames

Friday 20 March 2:17:59 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Nick Vujicic [Hero]

Friday 20 March 2:03:42 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Um, Actually…

Friday 20 March 1:45:02 UTC 2015

Coworker to another, about Chloraseptic®: Don't spit it out, you're supposed to swallow!Tempe, ArizonaOverheard by: Tina [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Women Who Could Replace Andrew Jackson on the $20

Friday 20 March 1:30:00 UTC 2015

Andrew Jackson will always be the seventh President of the United States. But if Women on 20s get its way, his mug will no longer be on our money. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do you do when you have 6,800 kilos of fish spill on the road? Well if you're a fireman from Guizhou province in China you save them by hosing them down and putting them back in the truck (Pictures of a lot of fish) [Weird]

Friday 20 March 1:22:24 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A local TJ Maxx is selling "Hang Loose" shirts with a picture of a noose. Naturally, this is an outrage [Stupid]

Friday 20 March 0:46:36 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » There Are Two Schools of Parenting, But Only One Wins Football Games

Friday 20 March 0:41:12 UTC 2015

Guy #1: I can’t believe parents starve their kids to make weight for football! I mean, what would you say to your kid?Guy #2: “You better make weight, you fat little bitch!”Louisville, KentuckyOverheard by: CB [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this executive encounter [Photoshop]

Friday 20 March 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

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