John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Mental Floss » We Asked 12 Top New York Restaurants Our Pressing Culinary Questions

Monday 16 March 23:30:00 UTC 2015

For the past eight years, the Village Voice has invited dozens of their favorite restaurants to one annual bonanza of an event to showcase some of their signature dishes. For New York-area fans of good food (and lots of it), Choice Eats is the happiest place on earth. But we decided to take advantage of this gathering of gastro-brilliance for … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man squatting in foreclosed house, drinking beer and claiming he lives there with Mariah Carey [Florida]

Monday 16 March 22:50:25 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Cameras In Rentals Hertz Business

Monday 16 March 22:32:29 UTC 2015


Hertz has installed cameras that are able to view the interior of the vehicle in a portion of its fleet and many customers are upset. The company claims the cameras have never been used but they put out a commercial showing how handy the device could be in case of an accident. A representative for the company claims that was … [Link]

Mental Floss » Faced With a VCR, Kids are Confused and Disappointed

Monday 16 March 22:30:00 UTC 2015

"Is it a radio? An alarm clock?" No, it's a VCR. And if you're reading this article at your desk at work, that's probably not a foreign concept. It wasn't all that long ago that VCRs and VHS tapes were the only way to watch something not on television right that minute, and if you're over the age of 20, … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I’ll Refer You to the Hackers’ Bible…

Monday 16 March 22:26:30 UTC 2015

IT guy: I don’t know about your god, but my god says it’s okay.Stamford, Connecticut [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's 'go big or go home' story: Man driving the wrong way on a major highway was too drunk to take an alcohol breath test [Scary]

Monday 16 March 22:15:39 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While some people might picture food, water, or hospitals when requesting $200 million to solve a "glaring absence" in Africa, these scientists think the continent really needs a particle accelerator [Stupid]

Monday 16 March 22:09:23 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Famous Patricks

Monday 16 March 21:50:01 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Close-Up Shots of Dragonflies

Monday 16 March 21:00:00 UTC 2015

Photographer and astronomer Pieter van Dokkum had been attracted to dragonflies for several years, but it wasn't until he stumbled across a quaint pond in New England, dotted with hundreds of dragonflies, that van Dokkum decided to make a book. The photographer waded in the pond, spent nights waiting for the right shot, and even lost a few shoes. The … [Link]

The Onion » Vatican Policymaking Once Again Manipulated By Powerful Second Commandment Rights Groups

Monday 16 March 20:17:00 UTC 2015

VATICAN CITY—Lamenting their tremendous impact on Catholic doctrine and their unfettered access to influential clergy, frustrated Vatican insiders told reporters Monday that policymaking decisions for the world’s largest Christian denomination…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Talented lawyer: "When my client said he killed them all, that could have meant anything. You can't read that much into it" [Unlikely]

Monday 16 March 20:15:20 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In hindsight maybe taking a smiling selfie in front of a blaze you're working on in which 17 people died was a bad idea [Dumbass]

Monday 16 March 20:05:11 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this car-sorter [Photoshop]

Monday 16 March 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Top six UK driving test failures, which includes a candidate crashing the car into the test center and one where the assessor's wig fell off resulting in the test being terminated due to "unforeseen circumstances" [Amusing]

Monday 16 March 19:58:59 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maryland man triumphs over his demons. Unfortunately, they were in a pastor who was praying over him [Strange]

Monday 16 March 19:57:29 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "In all my 21 years at this newspaper, we've never had a porn film shot in the town centre in broad daylight" [Fail]

Monday 16 March 19:51:37 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » With a good mattress you feel like you're sleeping on air. With a bad mattress it's because you've just gone airborne off the back of the truck you were riding it on [Florida]

Monday 16 March 19:48:38 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [31 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » xswitch74 says FML

Monday 16 March 19:35:31 UTC 2015

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML [Link]

FMyLife » mukduk says FML

Monday 16 March 19:35:30 UTC 2015

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML [Link]

The Onion » ‘When I’m Acquitted, I’ll Murder Those Interviewers,’ Robert Durst Mutters While Still Wearing Microphone

Monday 16 March 19:30:00 UTC 2015

NEW ORLEANS—Following his arrest Saturday after he unknowingly implicated himself in the 2000 slaying of his friend Susan Berman during the taping of the television documentary The Jinx, real estate heir Robert Durst reportedly muttered his i…
[Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Real 'Up' House Is In Danger

Monday 16 March 19:30:00 UTC 2015

Sadly, the real house that echoes the one in the film Up is also in jeopardy of being knocked down. * Now that all of the snow is beginning to melt, I hope you had time this winter—like these people—to strap a parachute onto a snowmobile and fly off a cliff. * Chew on these 10 true stories of survival … [Link]

The Onion » Strongside/Weakside: Apple MacBook vs. Google Chromebook Pixel

Monday 16 March 19:15:00 UTC 2015

Shortly after Apple debuted its new ultra-thin MacBook this week, Google announced its new Chromebook Pixel 2, which similarly boasts the new Type-C USB port and high-tech trackpad.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hay Millennials – your stupid [Sad]

Monday 16 March 18:53:51 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [439 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: NASA: California Has One Year Of Water Left

Monday 16 March 18:32:00 UTC 2015

A scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory wrote an editorial stating that prolonged droughts have left California with at most one more year of water, adding that “our strategic backup supply, groundwater, is rapidly disappearing.” Wha…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 16 Fun Facts for James Madison’s Birthday

Monday 16 March 18:00:00 UTC 2015

At 5 feet 4 inches, Madison was America’s shortest commander-in-chief—but he left behind a towering legacy. To honor his 264th birthday, we’ve dug up some lesser-known details about this “Father of the U.S. Constitution” and the colorful life he led. Did you know… 1. That He Was the Oldest of Twelve Children And Prone To Sickness? Madison wasn’t the healthiest … [Link]

GraphJam » 

Monday 16 March 17:42:48 UTC 2015

2 girls 1 cup barney kindergarten memories Pie Chart weezer - 4131658496 Graph by: thelolbringer Tagged: 2 girls 1 cup , barney , kindergarten , memories , Pie Chart , weezer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Using Binoculars

Monday 16 March 17:42:46 UTC 2015

binoculars looking object Pie Chart watching - 2641851648 Graph by: TacoMan72 Tagged: binoculars , looking , object , Pie Chart , watching Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We are going to be like sardines on this train, so can I ask that only slim people sit on the three seaters. If you are fat then it is simply not going to work" [Fail]

Monday 16 March 17:26:32 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » French train guard shouts down kissing lesbian couple, yells that their farewell embrace "cannot be tolerated," presumably after they failed to invite him to join in [Dumbass]

Monday 16 March 17:12:53 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [84 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Older Prostitute Explains To Younger Prostitute Who Richard Belzer Is, What He Expects

Monday 16 March 17:07:00 UTC 2015

NEW YORK—In an effort to prepare her colleague for an upcoming encounter with the veteran actor Friday night, 41-year-old prostitute Hazel Pierson reportedly sat down with 24-year-old prostitute Lexi Grant to explain exactly who Richard Belzer is an…
[Link]

Mental Floss » This Mysterious Caterpillar Builds a Toxic Fortress of a Cocoon

Monday 16 March 17:00:00 UTC 2015

via Moth caterpillars build their cocoons out of silk. Most of them will leave it at that, but others upgrade their temporary homes by camouflaging them or adding defensive measures. The caterpillars of bagworm moths, for example, bind leaves and twigs together with their silk to make the cocoon blend in with vegetation. Brown-tail moth caterpillars integrate their bristly, stinging … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You've done your share of punishing the porcelain, sure, but have you ever torqued a moonfish that forced an international flight to turn around? [Scary]

Monday 16 March 16:56:54 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman hits bicyclist but refuses to stop because "the blood on him was too scary for her kids and she didn't want them to be late for school" [Dumbass]

Monday 16 March 16:49:12 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [335 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The camouflage was ineffective" [Dumbass]

Monday 16 March 16:47:20 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Argument between two women escalated quickly, ending with one running over the other and a teenage boy, then backing up and running them over again [Florida]

Monday 16 March 16:44:22 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Robber wearing zebra onesie is jailed [Dumbass]

Monday 16 March 16:37:36 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Since when are the Irish lucky? [FarkBlog]

Monday 16 March 16:14:57 UTC 2015

FarkBlog [link] [45 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Communist Block

Monday 16 March 16:11:00 UTC 2015

Communist Block
[Link]

Mental Floss » Why Extra Virgin Olive Oil is So Good For Us

Monday 16 March 16:00:00 UTC 2015

Compelling new research may just have you knocking back shots of olive oil in your kitchen. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Well, Good Talking in Your General Direction

Monday 16 March 15:44:15 UTC 2015

Programmer #1: Do you watch Maggie and the Ferocious Beast?Programmer #2: [Silence.]Programmer #1: Well, Hamilton is the pig. I don’t know his last name, but he’s the pig in the show.Programmer #2: [Silence.]100 Larrabee Road
Westbrook, Maine [Link]

Overheard In The Office » If He’s Gonna Kill Me, I’m Going for Broke

Monday 16 March 15:44:13 UTC 2015

Lady with sick cat: My husband is going to kill me if I spend any more money on this cat.Man with dog: That’s sad that you’re married to someone that’s like that. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my pets.Lady with sick cat: You want to go get a beer after this?Jersey Avenue
Port Jervis, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » If Anything, I'm More Of a Gummy Bear

Monday 16 March 15:44:12 UTC 2015

Worker#1: Give me some jellybeans.Worker#2: Fuck you! (pause) And don't call me jellybeans.Clifton, New Jersey [Link]

Overheard In The Office » When Smartphones Bleed

Monday 16 March 15:44:11 UTC 2015

Young clerk in doctor's office: That woman has problems with her androids… I mean, fibroids.Ventura, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia puts 40,000 troops, 41 ships and 15 submarines on alert as they prepare for exercises. DON'T BE ALARMED [Scary]

Monday 16 March 15:40:51 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [211 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Incredible Benefits of Being Able to Change the Focus of Photos After You Shoot Them

Monday 16 March 15:29:12 UTC 2015

It sounds too good to be true—devices that let you essentially travel back in time and adjust the focus in an image long after capturing it. But innovative new technology like Intel® RealSense™ snapshot is doing just that and changing the way we take and edit photos. From the obvious to the obscure, here are the biggest benefits of shooting … [Link]

Mental Floss » Photoshop Experts Using Photoshop 1.0

Monday 16 March 15:29:11 UTC 2015

Some modern-day pros sit down with the original program, and they're delightfully stumped. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Asking someone to prom with a banner. New hotness: Asking someone to prom by having them arrested [Strange]

Monday 16 March 15:23:48 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Most of the world's poor die in incredibly stupid ways, and one man is trying to prevent the Darwinesque deaths [Interesting]

Monday 16 March 15:23:06 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [36 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Algebra Notebook Forced To Bear The Brunt Of Teen’s Song Lyrics

Monday 16 March 15:12:00 UTC 2015

Algebra Notebook Forced To Bear The Brunt Of Teen’s Song Lyrics
[Link]

The Onion » Unhappy Couple Staying Together For One Of Their Children

Monday 16 March 14:54:00 UTC 2015

GILBERT, AZ—Saying they couldn’t bear to see their boy upset, unhappy local couple Denise and Peter Gale resolved to stay together for the sake of one of their children, 7-year-old Daniel, sources reported Monday.
[Link]

Weird Universe » The Brown Line

Monday 16 March 14:45:46 UTC 2015


The number 2 bus runs on number 2 so I figure that's the brown line. [Link]

FMyLife » jfields2474 says FML

Monday 16 March 14:37:28 UTC 2015

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Remember What Happened When You Tried to Dump Dumbo?

Monday 16 March 14:30:05 UTC 2015

Advisor guy: You just gotta remember–you can't jump jumbo.Austin, Texas [Link]

Mental Floss » 23 Things You Might Not Know About 'The Wire'

Monday 16 March 14:30:00 UTC 2015

It has taken a slow-but-steady climb for The Wire to emerge as a cultural phenomenon, but the show that challenged every cops-and-robbers television trope has permeated just about every corner of our culture. In celebration, here are 23 facts that might have eluded even the most dedicated Wire diehards. (Warning: spoilers abound.) 1. THE PRESIDENT LOVES IT, AND EVEN HAS … [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 16, 2015

Monday 16 March 14:19:00 UTC 2015

The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 16, 2015
[Link]

The Onion » NFLPA Received Numerous Complaints From Free Agents Harassed By Cleveland Browns

Monday 16 March 14:15:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Expressing their growing concern after being inundated with grievances throughout the past week, officials from the NFL Players Association confirmed Monday that they have received multiple complaints from free agents being harassed by th…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hot sex-ed teacher gets 2.5 years for tutoring student. No word on whether he got an A [Sad]

Monday 16 March 14:13:57 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [191 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » anon says FML

Monday 16 March 14:10:24 UTC 2015

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Men Who Are Nice To Women May Be ‘Benevolent Sexists’

Monday 16 March 14:09:00 UTC 2015

According to a new study examining nonverbal cues between men and women, men who smile at women, pay for dinner, open doors, put them on a pedestal, and give other positive cues may actually be “benevolent sexists” who have well-intentioned vi…
[Link]

Mental Floss » What Do They Use to Dye the Chicago River Green For St. Patrick's Day?

Monday 16 March 14:00:00 UTC 2015

It wouldn’t be a St. Patrick’s Day celebration in the Windy City without 400,000 spectators crowding the banks of the Chicago River to “ooh” and “aah” at its (temporarily) emerald green tinge. But what do they use to dye the waterway? First, a bit of history: The dyeing tradition became an annual thing more than half a century ago, in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I feel, as an atheist, about people like Richard Dawkins and Bill Maher the way that Christians must feel about Fred Phelps," said Patton Oswalt [Hero]

Monday 16 March 13:26:43 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [614 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They’re Both Wrong — He’s an IT Guy

Monday 16 March 13:24:45 UTC 2015

Receptionist: This morning I was sitting up here and I looked out the window in the courtyard and there was a guy getting dressed.Guy: Black guy? Construction boots? [Receptionist nods.] Yeah, he sleeps there.Receptionist: Hmmm. I wouldn’t think you’d wanna sleep in the courtyard of an office.Guy: Well, I imagine if you’re homeless that’s one of the better spots.Receptionist: Oh, I … [Link]

Weird Universe » Women’s earplugs

Monday 16 March 13:05:00 UTC 2015

So how exactly are earplugs for women different than earplugs for men? I'm guessing the key variable is size. But if so, why not market them as small-sized earplugs, so that small-eared men would be encouraged to purchase them as well?

Of course, the women's ones are pink, but I recall that the gender-neutral ones I've bought at Home Depot in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these leaping soldiers [Photoshop]

Monday 16 March 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 20 crates of live chickens fowl up traffic [Fail]

Monday 16 March 12:58:33 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Click this link to see how juvenile you are [Silly]

Monday 16 March 12:45:36 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [53 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 16 March 12:37:20 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he took me to Starbucks on our first date because he forgot who I was. FML [Link]

GraphJam » The Jonas Brothers

Monday 16 March 12:36:08 UTC 2015

disney,Music,pop,teen LoL by: Unknown Tagged: disney , Music , pop , teen Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Do Humans Live Forever!?

Monday 16 March 12:36:06 UTC 2015

animals,humans are absent,infographic,lifespan,mammals,tortoise,whale Graph by: (via Information Is Beautiful) Tagged: animals , humans are absent , infographic , lifespan , mammals , tortoise , whale Share on Facebook [Link]

Overheard In The Office » How Kate Moss Got Her Professional Name

Monday 16 March 12:22:09 UTC 2015

Female: But there's like four or five on one arm!Male: I know they're green, but are they hard? Soft?Female: Big. Green.New York State Psychiatric InstituteOverheard by: Rina [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 49: Can a Kitten Climb the Matterhorn?

Monday 16 March 12:11:29 UTC 2015

Image: Wikimedia Commons
In 1950 newspapers around the world reported that a 10-month-old kitten had climbed the Matterhorn, one of the highest peaks in Europe. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll wonder whether even a very determined kitty could accomplish such a feat. We’ll also marvel at a striking demonstration of dolphin intelligence and puzzle over a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Angry deaf man unable to call people assholes, a security tokin' on your computer, and Medal of Honor recipient jumps on a grenade: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/8 – 3/14 [FarkBlog]

Monday 16 March 12:10:12 UTC 2015

FarkBlog [link] [0 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cyclone flattens islands of the Vanuatu archipelago, causing tens of dollars of damage [Followup]

Monday 16 March 11:55:20 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [49 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » why says FML

Monday 16 March 11:40:37 UTC 2015

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Apache Dance

Monday 16 March 11:38:54 UTC 2015

I don't watch Dancing with the Stars. Is this kind of dance included? If not, why? It would liven up the competitions immensely, I wager. With signed waivers, real daggers could be used. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Janice Dickinson's Reality Show Crew Finally Draws the Line

Monday 16 March 11:15:43 UTC 2015

Office worker #1: Do we need to talk about how to handle a psychiatric emergency with her?
Office worker #2: If it happens, I'm shutting my door on her crazy ass. Atlanta, Georgia [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Wes" is Stern

Monday 16 March 11:15:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman with American accent lights cigarette up on flight between Nicaragua to Miami, goes bizarre rant about Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, President Obama killing "'people on Tuesdays." Hilarity ensues [Florida]

Monday 16 March 11:09:32 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Girl who was told she couldn't wear boys' Stomposaurus trainers gives shoemaker a kicking [Hero]

Monday 16 March 11:08:26 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Mullahs get their revenge [Interesting]

Monday 16 March 11:00:01 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ex-owner of the NJ strip club used as the Bada Bing on "The Sopranos" sentenced to [Followup]

Monday 16 March 10:57:01 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Bird Thought to Be Extinct Has Been Rediscovered

Monday 16 March 10:30:00 UTC 2015

It's not often that animals thought to be extinct are rediscovered, but you can put the Jerdon's babbler (Chrysomma altirostre) on that short list. The small bird, lasted spotted in the grasslands of Myitkyo, Bago Region near the Sittaung River in 1941, was recently rediscovered by scientists from the Wildlife Conservation Society, Myanmar's Nature and Wildlife Conservation Division—MOECAF, and National … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hertz puts cameras inside their rental cars. Company executives say they NeverLost customers faster [Asinine]

Monday 16 March 9:35:00 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Dennis the Dachshund’s Drastic Diet

Monday 16 March 9:30:22 UTC 2015

Dennis The Dachshund Lost 44 Pounds. He gave up burgers and pizza, and now weighs a healthy 12 pounds.
*
10 Fascinating and Fabulous Cultural Eccentrics. We are lucky that they were more entertaining than dangerous.
*
26 Contemporary Books That Should Be Taught In High School. Some of these would have trouble getting by certain local school boards.
* … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexico pushes back against the flood of illegal American imports [Spiffy]

Monday 16 March 9:22:07 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We're not saying China makes weird cars, but they just created one with a fish tank in the middle of the back seat [Weird]

Monday 16 March 9:14:49 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today, Salon decides to come down on casual sex at college [Stupid]

Monday 16 March 9:10:27 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boston sets record for snow, stories about snow [Cool]

Monday 16 March 8:32:00 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [43 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » epicvixen says FML

Monday 16 March 7:42:42 UTC 2015

Today, while driving, I saw someone's hubcap blowing away behind me on the highway. I thought it was funny and sort of chuckled to myself. Later I realized it was my hubcap. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's a Design For Skyscrapers That Don't Cast A Shadow

Monday 16 March 7:30:00 UTC 2015

New skyscrapers in the city are all but an inevitability. In crowded areas, the only way to grow is usually up, and new buildings are almost always many stories high. While this creates interesting skylines from a distance, up close and on the ground, these tall buildings plunge pedestrians into nearly-perpetual shade as the long shadows stretch across the sidewalks. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's good news: Those security tags that hospitals put on newborns actually work [Fail]

Monday 16 March 6:54:00 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Turing’s Paintbrush

Monday 16 March 6:47:32 UTC 2015

Shortly after joining the faculty of UC San Diego in 1968, British artist Harold Cohen asked, “What are the minimum conditions under which a set of marks functions as an image?” He set out to answer this by writing a computer program that would create original artistic images. The result, which he dubbed AARON, has been drawing new images since … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Although it conjures up romantic notions of brave souls delving into the spirit world to go on personal visionquests, in real life don't do mushrooms with your girlfriends and go wandering in the desert [Stupid]

Monday 16 March 5:22:00 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Woman has surprise baby shower. News: Woman has a surprise baby in the shower [Unlikely]

Monday 16 March 4:25:00 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want a 1964 Mustang in pristine condition? That can be arranged [Cool]

Monday 16 March 2:33:43 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Could I Have My Head Grafted onto Your Torso?

Monday 16 March 1:54:10 UTC 2015

Annoying female worker: I feel so left out… Can I just move my desk next to yours?Manager: Absolutely not.Howard Street
Burlington, VermontOverheard by: Drone [Link]

Overheard In The Office » At Least Someone Got Basted Last Night

Monday 16 March 1:54:09 UTC 2015

Passing tech on cell: Dude, I know! Seriously, my ass is leaking brown juice!Denham Springs, LouisianaOverheard by: Erin [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You're Not Supposed to Huff It, Kevin.

Monday 16 March 1:54:07 UTC 2015

Overwhelmed colleague: This water stuff is insane!!Melbourne
AustraliaOverheard by: confused but amused [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 'Cause Home Is Where the Pancreas Is

Monday 16 March 1:54:05 UTC 2015

Drug rep: All the regulations in this industry just keep getting more strict all the time. I set up a meeting the other day with one of our medical reps and a doctor I know and I couldn't say a word the entire time except to introduce them. I was like a mouse on the floor.Admin (laughing hysterically): Do you mean … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Birds With Fancy Feathered Noggins

Monday 16 March 1:45:00 UTC 2015

Special crests, crowns, and plumes can be found on birds all over the world, and can be used for anything from mating to intimidation. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone's invented a skyscraper that doesn't cast a shadow. A VAMPIRE SKYSCRAPER [Scary]

Monday 16 March 1:27:57 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [86 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 16 March 0:14:43 UTC 2015

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 16 March 0:14:42 UTC 2015

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML [Link]

FMyLife » pledonasm says FML

Monday 16 March 0:14:41 UTC 2015

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Why Was Jesus Always With the Disciples, Man?

Monday 16 March 0:13:47 UTC 2015

Geek #1: Yeah, I'm pretty good with the chicks these days.Geek #2: Oh, yeah? How?Geek #1: I just walk up to them and be like “how you doiiiinn'” and I got them.Geek #2: Then why are you always with me?SUNY
New Paltz, New York [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird, March 15, 2015

Monday 16 March 0:02:40 UTC 2015

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M414, March 15, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

“This will be upsetting,” cautioned Justice Robert Graesser, addressing jurors in February in the Edmonton, Alberta, murder trial of Brad Barton. At issue was the cause of the victim’s having bled to death from her genitals, and the judge, ruling that jurors … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this captain and his ship [Photoshop]

Monday 16 March 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link]

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