John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The fact that people use Google to find Facebook, Google and Yahoo shows just how stupid the average search engine user truly is [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 March 23:56:52 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "For Sale, One used e-mail server. Clean Hard Drive….See Bill" [Amusing]

Thursday 12 March 22:31:42 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Secrets of 311 Operators

Thursday 12 March 22:00:00 UTC 2015

It may have lower stakes and fewer life-threatening emergencies than its big sister 911, but for the 20,870,131 New Yorkers who called 311 in 2014, it’s no less vital. In New York City’s 311 call centers, over 350 employees work tirelessly around the clock (you can reach a representative 24-7-365) to answer residents’ burning questions about everything from alternate side … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ejaculating into a co-workers coffee could soon be illegal in Minnesota [PSA]

Thursday 12 March 21:46:14 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bibi's speech to congress, which totally wasn't about the Israeli election, is now appearing in his campaign ads [Obvious]

Thursday 12 March 21:22:52 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Customer: My car will not exceed 40mph. Mechanic: That's just nuts [Strange]

Thursday 12 March 21:19:48 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: What are your favorite ingredients when creating sushi for friends and family? Learn how with just a click to the left.. and then share all the astounding goodness to the right [Interesting]

Thursday 12 March 21:00:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mistaking it for an ATM, knife-wielding man tries to rob woman at stamp kiosk [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 March 20:43:55 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Italian village sets a global record after getting 8 feet of snow in 24 hours. Boston happily surrenders the title [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 20:39:35 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Tam" O'Shanter

Thursday 12 March 20:18:31 UTC 2015

[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: High School Seniors Vote For Communism-Themed Prom

Thursday 12 March 20:09:00 UTC 2015

Teenagers at a high school in New Mexico have voted to make the theme of their prom communism and name the event “Prom-munism,” prompting the head of the school to plan a talk with the students about what communism really means so they can dec…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pastoral field of tulips [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 March 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Cobra Commander Received the Key to the City of Springfield

Thursday 12 March 20:00:00 UTC 2015

Uproxx Cobra Commander, of GI Joe infamy, recently visited Springfield, Illinois and was given the key to the city. True story. This photo op of CC and the Mayor is just beyond awesome. * Baseball season is nearly upon us, so it’s time to see what might be this season’s most awful, awesome, horrifying, oddly enticing, definite regret-producing stadium food. … [Link]

The Onion » Fantasy Baseball Commissioner Plumbs Deepest Depths Of Friend Circle To Find 12th Participant

Thursday 12 March 19:31:00 UTC 2015

STAFFORD, VA—Broadening his search to include anyone he knows with even a remote interest in sports, local 29-year-old Jeff Ludwin plumbed the furthest depths of his friend circle while attempting to find a 12th participant for his fantasy baseball …
[Link]

The Onion » Texas Now Regretting Wasting Doses Of Pancuronium Bromide On Innocent Guys Back In 1997, 2000, 2004

Thursday 12 March 19:21:00 UTC 2015

HUNTSVILLE, TX—Noting that their prison system’s supply of lethal injection drugs continues to dwindle as more manufacturers agree to halt sales, sources within the Texas Department of Criminal Justice confirmed Thursday that they now regret w…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police investigating 'plan to smuggle thieving dwarf out of UK in plane luggage' [Weird]

Thursday 12 March 19:04:46 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things you don't expect to happen when out skiing. Number 1 – Get hit by a plane [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 19:01:23 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman goes for a job interview, can't remember where she parked, goes to the Internet for help finding it: "I'm hoping someone will see it and let me know as I just can't find where it is" (pics) [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 March 18:53:14 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Thursday 12 March 18:47:16 UTC 2015

diffidation
n. a severing of peaceful relations clarigation
n. a recital of wrongs before declaring war [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is Hillary Clinton a succubus from the deepest depths of Hell come to enslave us all like she enslaved her government email? [Amusing]

Thursday 12 March 18:46:12 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [105 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Relieved Malia Obama Quietly Thanks Secret Service Agents For Taking Rap For Her

Thursday 12 March 18:32:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Expressing gratitude for helping her escape certain punishment, Malia Obama quietly thanked two Secret Service agents Thursday for taking the rap after she crashed a government vehicle into a White House barricade while returning from a l…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 23 Notoriously Unrhymable Words (That Actually Have Rhymes)

Thursday 12 March 18:30:00 UTC 2015

You’ll no doubt have heard the old fact that nothing rhymes with orange. But in fact, the English surname Gorringe—as in Henry Honeychurch Gorringe, captain of the USS Gettysburg—rhymes with orange. And so does Blorenge, the name of a hill in south Wales. But even if proper nouns like surnames and place names are excluded, that still leaves sporange, an … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Large priceless collection of gold and silver coins dating as far back as 2500 years is found in: A) Greece, B) Rome, or C) Buffalo [Unlikely]

Thursday 12 March 18:26:30 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [38 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » teecrafter2038 says FML

Thursday 12 March 18:21:49 UTC 2015

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML [Link]

FMyLife » mylovelifeisanepicfail says FML

Thursday 12 March 18:21:48 UTC 2015

Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 March 18:21:47 UTC 2015

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML [Link]

FMyLife » musicteacher says FML

Thursday 12 March 18:21:46 UTC 2015

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML [Link]

GraphJam » A Map For Every Grocery Store Ever

Thursday 12 March 18:19:53 UTC 2015

shopping map samples food check out grocery store Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: shopping , map , samples , food , check out , grocery store Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Thursday 12 March 18:19:51 UTC 2015

Graph by: Marolio (via Online Education) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Greecebook

Thursday 12 March 18:19:50 UTC 2015

Graph by: Tagged: facebook , greece , money , nation Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Strike: The Greatest Bowling Story Ever Told

Thursday 12 March 17:40:00 UTC 2015

I spent a summer in a local bowling league, hitting the bowling alley every Wednesday night. Let's just say I do not have a gift for bowling, but I do have a way with a pitcher of cheap beer. But I would look at the other bowlers and marvel at how dedicated some of them were—they had cool gear, some … [Link]

Mental Floss » Bug’s Color is Warning for One Predator, Invisible to Another

Thursday 12 March 17:30:00 UTC 2015

Wikimedia Commons // CC BY 2.0 The Hibiscus Harlequin Bug (Tectocoris diophthalmus) would seem to be in a bit of a pickle. It has to avoid two different predators with two different defenses that seemingly contradict each other. But the bug has an elegant solution and makes its brilliant, beautiful shell pull double duty in a way that we can’t … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spanish mayoral candidate campaigns on transparency (possibly not safe for work) [Interesting]

Thursday 12 March 17:28:46 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » April Fools Day to be moved to April 2 because of eclipse [Silly]

Thursday 12 March 17:28:34 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Uncle Sam wants you….to be a bomb sniffing elephant in the U.S. army [Amusing]

Thursday 12 March 16:59:54 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Wall Street Firm Develops New High-Speed Algorithm Capable Of Performing Over 10,000 Ethical Violations Per Second

Thursday 12 March 16:35:00 UTC 2015

NEW YORK—Calling it a major breakthrough that will significantly expedite and streamline its daily operations, Wall Street financial firm Goldman Sachs revealed Thursday it has developed a new high-speed algorithm that is capable of performing more …
[Link]

Mental Floss » Name the States With No Repeating Letters

Thursday 12 March 16:34:25 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Terry Pratchett has died. Buggrit [Sad]

Thursday 12 March 16:33:51 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [562 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 20 Best Science Images of 2015

Thursday 12 March 16:30:00 UTC 2015

From particles in a mouse’s lung to a cross section of a cat’s tongue to the nervous system of a fruit fly larva, the winning images of the 2015 Wellcome Image Awards showcase things you didn’t think it was possible to see, let alone make into works of art. Each year, Wellcome honors the best in science imaging talent and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "…and for our traffic report watch out for Twizzlers on the highway as a truck crashed and spread these twisty treats all over the place" [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 15:48:33 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [49 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Burger King Quietly Drops Soda From Kids’ Menu

Thursday 12 March 15:26:00 UTC 2015

Fast food chain Burger King has quietly dropped sodas and other sugary beverages from children’s menus and replaced them with low-fat milk and low-fat chocolate milk.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Stuffed-With-Fluff Facts About Disney's 'Winnie the Pooh'

Thursday 12 March 15:21:28 UTC 2015

You probably already know that Disney’s Winnie the Pooh was based on a book series—and that the book series was based on some stuffed animals that belonged to author A.A. Milne’s son. But that’s just the beginning of Winnie the Pooh’s story. Here are some more stuffed-with-fluff facts about what happened when Disney took over. 1. Walt Disney was introduced … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Whereas I've Been Looking For 20 Years.

Thursday 12 March 15:14:26 UTC 2015

Office man trying to help lady with machinery: Wait, you need to put it in the hole!Frustrated lady: What do you mean? I never have had to look for any hole!Office man: Well, I know that's true.Austin, Texas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 12PM Revisit Questionnaire

Thursday 12 March 15:14:25 UTC 2015

Suit #1: All my clients complain that the questionnaire package we require is too onerous.
Suit #2: Really? I never get any complaint about ours.
Boss: Well, have you ever seen his package? Maybe you two should get together and compare packages. 245 3rd Avenue
New York, NY [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Because I Was Raised Right.

Thursday 12 March 15:14:24 UTC 2015

Legal assistant to coworker: If I'm going to kill my liver, I'm sure as hell not going to let ibuprofen do it –I'm going to have fun and let alcohol do me in.Durango, Colorado [Link]

Overheard In The Office » At Least Until the Stock Market Goes Soft

Thursday 12 March 15:14:23 UTC 2015

Giggling girl in cubicle #1: Why can't I make it bigger?Giggling girl in cubicle #2: This is so uncomfortable.Giggling girl in cubicle #1: It gets better and better as it goes on.Austin, Texas [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FDA issues a warning for the anti-smoking drug Chantix. The dangers of smoking and quitting smoking are now dead even [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 15:00:48 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [213 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Buzzwords "Analytics" and "Orchestration" join "Synergy" and "Proactive" to create the most annoying bingo card of all time (Sponsored link) [Obvious]

Thursday 12 March 14:57:03 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » It's the Coffee

Thursday 12 March 14:39:41 UTC 2015

Guy to friend: It was just like Barney… but with Cubans and machetes.Tampa, FloridaOverheard by: sarswolu [Link]

Mental Floss » Who Was Saint Patrick?

Thursday 12 March 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Slave, traveler, evangelist, abolitionist, and saint. A scant 400 years after Jesus' birth, the priest known as Patrick took the Great Commission seriously, to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth by converting the frightening barbarians of that scary outpost known as Ireland. Dates and details of Patrick's life are somewhat ambiguous since written records from fifth-century Ireland … [Link]

The Onion » High Schooler Promises To Have Man’s Impregnated Daughter Home By Midnight

Thursday 12 March 14:19:00 UTC 2015

BARTERFELD, TX—In an effort to demonstrate respect toward his date’s father, high school senior Marty DeLesko promised Patrick Bannon he would have the local man’s soon-to-be pregnant daughter home by midnight at the latest, sources repo…
[Link]

The Onion » Study Finds Swans Only Other Animals Who Mate For Few Years, Get Scared, End Things, Then Regret It

Thursday 12 March 14:18:00 UTC 2015

ATHENS, GA—Revealing how closely the waterfowl’s social behavior resembles that of humans, a study released Thursday by the University of Georgia has found that swans are the only other members of the animal kingdom that mate for a few years, …
[Link]

The Onion » Statshot: What Are We Expensing To The Company?

Thursday 12 March 14:15:00 UTC 2015

What Are We Expensing To The Company?
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » How the Nazis bombed thousands of Germans for target practice to test their V-2 rockets. Man, that Hitler guy was a bad dude [Obvious]

Thursday 12 March 13:58:42 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [186 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » George Is Very Fond Of His Mood Shorts

Thursday 12 March 13:38:30 UTC 2015

Man in non-matching bright orange Hawaiian patterned shirt and shorts: So here is what I am thinking for the theme of the event…Sydney
AustraliaOverheard by: Rusty [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Bananas from Tesco are infested with hundreds of deadly Brazilian wandering spiders whose bite can cause painful four-hour erections" [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 13:34:18 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did Jesus have any brothers? Well, we can't answer that but here is an article about it anyway [Interesting]

Thursday 12 March 13:27:41 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dieting dachshund now a leaner weiner [Followup]

Thursday 12 March 13:06:39 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this underwater encounter [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 March 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Gun Silencer Bacon Cooker

Thursday 12 March 12:40:44 UTC 2015

I've heard about using a car engine to cook breakfast (in fact, that idea is immortalized in Rick Altergott's great artwork for WU — see the side column), but this is the first time I've seen a gun used for the same purpose.

[Link]

Overheard In The Office » Your Editors Are Not Touching This One.

Thursday 12 March 12:33:52 UTC 2015

Priest to another, in hospital hall: I'll be right there, I've got to go into the little boys room first…Tulsa, OklahomaOverheard by: Cornfused [Link]

Weird Universe » Rocky Roberts

Thursday 12 March 12:22:23 UTC 2015

This video offers a perfect pairing of weird personalities.

Rocky Roberts, a black man from the USA, once a boxer, who became a pop star, but only in Europe.

Jayne Mansfield, dancing and uttering the line, "My ears directed my body toward the sound." 'Nuff said.

More coverage below.

Original article here.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Off-the-Beaten-Path Tech Solutions That Can Make Your Vacation More Fun

Thursday 12 March 12:00:00 UTC 2015

“Roughing it” can be an incredibly rewarding way to experience the world and find independence. But let’s face it—if you’re setting forth into new terrain, it’s generally smart, safe, and more satisfying to stay plugged in. Here’s a sampling of apps and programs that can help make for an all-around better trip, no matter where you’re headed. 1. MAKE LAST … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On the first day after prison release, man robs same store, same clerk from 14 years earlier. Jail readies the same cell [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 March 11:47:50 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » "Tam" O'Shanter

Thursday 12 March 11:45:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

FMyLife » dorianseiji says FML

Thursday 12 March 11:44:34 UTC 2015

Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML [Link]

GraphJam » What People think when they hear "Homer"

Thursday 12 March 11:42:48 UTC 2015

doh,greek,homer,homer simpson,Pie Chart,poet,the illiad,the odessey,the simpsons Graph by: vaderdude Tagged: doh , greek , homer , homer simpson , Pie Chart , poet , the illiad , the odessey , the simpsons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How fun tickling is over time

Thursday 12 March 11:42:47 UTC 2015

fun laughs punch serious stop tickling - 1991031552 LoL by: tmare0790 Tagged: fun , laughs , punch , serious , stop , tickling Share on Facebook [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Way Ugly Ideas Come Out of Missouri

Thursday 12 March 11:27:38 UTC 2015

Male coworker: So,what’s new?Female coworker, surfing the net: I don’t know… Britney Spears had her kids taken away.Male coworker: I heard about that.Female coworker: They’re not very cute, anyway.Male coworker: It’s because she has an ugly puss.Female coworker: What?!Male coworker: Women with ugly vaginas have ugly babies.East Evergreen Street
Springfield, MissouriOverheard by: Sarah [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 March 11:19:44 UTC 2015

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tiger Woods can't name his new restaurant 'Tiger Woods' because Nike owns the rights to his name. Let this be a lesson to anyone considering selling their soul to the Devil [Sad]

Thursday 12 March 11:05:44 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [160 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You'd think that being laid off would be enough bad news for one day. Yeah, you'd think [Asinine]

Thursday 12 March 11:05:18 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Festively Irish Dog Names

Thursday 12 March 11:00:00 UTC 2015

Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, Rover.com—the Airbnb for dogs—has created this fun new infographic, with data from the website's user-base, of the most popular Irish dog names and breeds per region. There's also a list of most popular green-themed names; surprisingly, multiple people have actually named their dogs Turtle. Click to resize [via Rover.com] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh no, not again [Sad]

Thursday 12 March 10:43:35 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For the first time ever girls can have a two-way with Barbie. And it gets even creepier than that [Weird]

Thursday 12 March 10:27:10 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Breastfeeding mom upset at United for being told to cover up, even though they waived the $25 blanket charge [Stupid]

Thursday 12 March 10:26:19 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [289 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I'm Still a Little Vague on This Whole “Food” Concept

Thursday 12 March 10:23:02 UTC 2015

Patron: Can I get some Equal for my tea?Waitress: You mean, like, a lemon?Phoenix, Arizona [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hell's Grannies strike again, bombing another South Jersey town [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 10:15:41 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In order to make it seem as if they're doing something to combat institutional racism, Oklahoma University is hiring a Vice President of Diversity [Followup]

Thursday 12 March 10:14:47 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The police want everyone to be on the alert for wax, a marijuana-derived narcotic that's a little bit stronger than marijuana. "Sometimes someone might pass out immediately from just one hit of this stuff" [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 10:05:38 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: 8 Feet of Snow in One Day

Thursday 12 March 10:00:38 UTC 2015

Italian Village Gets 8 Feet Of Snow In 24 Hours, May Break Global Record. People looked out of their balconies because they can’t see anything from their front doors.
*
Steve Carell and his chest hair channel Fabio in a 1994 Second City skit. The voice is provided by Stephen Colbert.
*
Fine Dining in the Apocalypse. The doomsday preppers will … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this royal art inspection [Caption]

Thursday 12 March 10:00:00 UTC 2015

Caption [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now that marijuana is legal in Alaska, lawmakers are diligently working to fine tune the law by criminalizing every single loophole they can find [Asinine]

Thursday 12 March 9:53:56 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [39 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 March 9:50:11 UTC 2015

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good: Krispy Kreme is now selling a Reese's peanut butter doughnut. Bad: Just in the UK [Sad]

Thursday 12 March 9:30:00 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Take a glazed donut, and fill it with a hot dog, bacon, and raspberry jam. It just needs a name [Sick]

Thursday 12 March 9:27:00 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Building a 57-storey skyscraper in only 19 days has construction experts floored (w/video) [Spiffy]

Thursday 12 March 8:48:00 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [75 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Matei says FML

Thursday 12 March 8:36:38 UTC 2015

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » New Research Shows How Chameleons Change Color

Thursday 12 March 8:00:00 UTC 2015

In a recent episode of Veritasium, host Derek Muller explains the new research, published earlier this year in Nature Communications, that disproves longstanding beliefs about how chameleons change color. Previously, scientists thought that chameleons were able to change from green to yellow by dispersing different colored pigments through their skin cells. But instead, what researchers found was that all of … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're planning a trip to Britain, be sure to visit the small Nottinghamshire town of Beeston. Odds are you'll be glad you did [Interesting]

Thursday 12 March 7:37:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Another Victim Of a Misleading Midas Muffler Promotion

Thursday 12 March 7:00:47 UTC 2015

Cube dweller: Just like men can get breast cancer, women can get prostate cancer. My gynecologist screens all his patients for it.North CarolinaOverheard by: Not too worried about it [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Need a Birthday Present for My Daughter

Thursday 12 March 7:00:39 UTC 2015

UPS guy: Hey [FedEx guy] — while you’re in there, can you pick me up some of those neon green spandex?FedEx guy, delivering to American Apparel: Thong or panties?UPS guy: Thong — extra-small.Story Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Ream It Out, So to Speak

Thursday 12 March 7:00:38 UTC 2015

Receptionist: Every couple weeks or so I have to come back here and molest the printer paper.Seattle, Washington [Link]

Futility Closet » Sad Magic

Thursday 12 March 6:45:02 UTC 2015

The magic square at upper left arranges the numbers 3-11 so that each row, column, and long diagonal totals 21. Lee Sallows found nine tragic words that vary in length from 3 to 11 letters and arranged them into the same square — and he found a unique shape for each word so that every triplet can be assembled into … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Memo to All Staff: There Will Be a Meeting to Discuss What Can be Done to Curtail the Number of Meetings

Thursday 12 March 6:36:22 UTC 2015

Office grunt #1: I hate all these fucking meetings!Office grunt #2: Didn’t you set this meeting up?Office grunt #1: Yeah, but that’s not the point.Oil company office
Houston, TexasOverheard by: Lara [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two police officers shot outside Ferguson Police Department during a protest. I am sure this will trigger a reasonable and appropriate response to apprehend the perpetrators in a safe manner [News]

Thursday 12 March 6:31:53 UTC 2015

News [link] [660 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Company erects a huge billboard featuring a topless model dressed as a nun – just ahead of the Pope's visit. Not surprisingly, some people have a problem with that (Not safe for work image in article) [Obvious]

Thursday 12 March 5:31:00 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Apparently Something About My Mother

Thursday 12 March 4:25:18 UTC 2015

Coworker: Well, he's african american so I couldn't really understand what he was saying.Urbana, IL [Link]

FMyLife » KillMePlease says FML

Thursday 12 March 4:15:11 UTC 2015

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navy persecutes Pentecostal pastor for pushing petulant perspectives on penetration [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 March 4:11:00 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 514: "Tilt-Shift Faked Miniature Scenes II" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 12 March 4:01:00 UTC 2015

Farktography [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In America, you cast a ballot. In Mexico, you cut off the head of the mayoral candidate you dislike the most [Scary]

Thursday 12 March 3:54:34 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Still Want a Parachute, Though

Thursday 12 March 3:20:04 UTC 2015

Male coworker: I'm not afraid to fall to my death. I'm really not.Plainsboro, New Jersey [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Blind dog-sled dog up for adoption. But, wait There's more. If you adopt now, he comes with his very own seeing eye dog. It's not News, it's Dawwwwwwwwww [Sappy]

Thursday 12 March 3:18:15 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [30 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 March 2:38:36 UTC 2015

Today, I finally accepted I need help with my anxiety issues. I started small and I joined a support forum and wrote a post. I was quickly called a troll by multiple users, accused of faking it, and told to "fuck off back to Tumblr" because they wouldn't believe my anxiety is really so serious. FML [Link]

GraphJam » What a meat tenderizing mallet is used for

Thursday 12 March 2:38:12 UTC 2015

beating up ice meat mixed drinks Pie Chart tenderize - 3797407744 Graph by: Lil-Panik Tagged: beating up , ice , meat , mixed drinks , Pie Chart , tenderize Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Birds Have Nothing on My Anger

Thursday 12 March 2:38:11 UTC 2015

angry birds Pie Chart pig video games Graph by: Unknown Tagged: angry birds , Pie Chart , pig , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Only Hot Dates You'll Be Getting

Thursday 12 March 2:38:10 UTC 2015

best of week,forever alone,hot date,Memes,microwave Quantifying Everything For Great Justice Graph by: Garrett858 Tagged: best of week , forever alone , hot date , Memes , microwave Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Strength of "Permanent" Marker

Thursday 12 March 2:38:09 UTC 2015

Bar Graph label marker non-washable relative - 3825109760 Graph by: SovereignGFC Tagged: Bar Graph , label , marker , non-washable , relative Share on Facebook [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Sometimes Your Computer Just Wants to Cuddle

Thursday 12 March 2:15:02 UTC 2015

Female owner: Are we having computer trouble this morning?Male manager: No, why?Female owner: Because I can't get it up! I hate when I can't get it up!Male manager: Me too, meeee toooo…Indianapolis, Indiana [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When a gator this size asks to play through, well, you just let him [Florida]

Thursday 12 March 2:07:41 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How is it that everyone at the Secret Service hasn't been fired by now? [Fail]

Thursday 12 March 2:06:23 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A church that was used to host naked paint-parties has lost their tax-exempt status [Florida]

Thursday 12 March 1:48:18 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Miniature train enthusiasts are snapping up x-rated collectibles – including the Nudist, Prostitute, and Peeping Tom sets. "People make out model railways are boring but they're really not" [Weird]

Thursday 12 March 1:48:13 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Career Tip: Don't Give Babies to Your Colleagues, Dear Reader

Thursday 12 March 1:12:42 UTC 2015

Office girl: Why don't you get a baby? A cute little brown baby?Gay office worker: I don't want a gay-by! Office girl: Oh yeah, a cute little chocolate baby! Gay office worker: I'd eat him! I love chocolate! (pause) Anyway where's my urn?Manhattan, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ashton Kutcher demands more diaper-changing tables in men's restrooms [Hero]

Thursday 12 March 0:57:26 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deaf woman says she was mistreated by a post office worker who refused to communicate through written notes. I bet she didn't see that coming [Florida]

Thursday 12 March 0:41:31 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [106 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » School Resources Well Used!

Thursday 12 March 0:30:00 UTC 2015

computer,Pie Chart,Rage Comics,school,truancy story Graph by: Unknown Tagged: computer , Pie Chart , Rage Comics , school , truancy story Share on Facebook [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They Prefer to Be Called…Um… Something Different This Year

Thursday 12 March 0:07:29 UTC 2015

Older woman #1: What are you going to do while you’re here?Young man: Oh, I’m gonna shop like a mofo!Older woman #1: Mofo? What is that?Older woman #2: What does that mean?Young man: Uh…it, uh…means I’m gonna shop a lot!Older woman #2: Oh…Is that a Negro term?Victoria, British Columbia
CanadiaOverheard by: J. Max [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this twist-a-roo [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 March 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

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