John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Here's a look at the note that Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev wrote in pencil inside the boat he was eventually captured in. It reads exactly like you guessed it would [Sick]

Tuesday 10 March 23:58:27 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [203 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tortoise beats rat [Spiffy]

Tuesday 10 March 23:49:57 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Battle of Neuve Chapelle

Tuesday 10 March 23:43:39 UTC 2015

WWI Battlefields The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 173rd installment in the series. March 10-13, 1915: Battle of Neuve Chapelle The first big British offensive of the war took place at the Battle of Neuve … [Link]

Mental Floss » Maine Bed And Breakfast to Sell for $125 and 200 Words

Tuesday 10 March 23:43:38 UTC 2015

If you've always hoped to give up your 9-to-5 job to move to Maine to operate a historic bed and breakfast—one that sits on 12 acres and has scenic views of Kezar Lake and the White Mountains—then the Center Lovell Inn, built in 1805, could be your dream come true. All you need to make it yours is $125, a … [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Fun Facts About Money

Tuesday 10 March 23:00:00 UTC 2015

U.S. paper money is not paper and other fascinating tidbits about the green stuff. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Worker at sewage plant discovers that cutting into a methane pipe is a bit like lighting a fart, only more impressive [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 22:31:18 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Famous Puppeteers of the 20th Century

Tuesday 10 March 22:20:43 UTC 2015

Puppetry has been a form of entertainment since at least ancient Greece, carried on through the antics of Punch and Judy in the Middle Ages. Although the names of most of the skilled puppeteers of old are lost to us now, the age of movies and TV opened up these traditional types of entertainment to millions. The puppeteers of the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former SAE House Mom yesterday : "I am shocked. I have never heard such racism from them before." Former SAE House Mom today: "Now there is a very good explanation for that video of me saying the N-word repeatedly" [Followup]

Tuesday 10 March 22:19:58 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [255 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Need to break into a car and don't have a slim jim? There's an app for that [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 22:19:32 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wikipedia just sued the NSA, commencing major nerd war [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 21:54:39 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The danger of keeping photos of a naked woman on your cell phone that isn't your wife is that when said wife scrolls through your phone and sees those pics, she'll stab you in the neck [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 21:47:50 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bank error in your favor. Collect ten years probation [Dumbass]

Tuesday 10 March 21:38:09 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Blizzard conditions have shut down the road to the summit of the mountain, poor weather is forecast for the next several days, and webcams have been blinded by the snow. This has been your weather for Hawaii, stay tuned for sports" [Ironic]

Tuesday 10 March 21:37:05 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What every U.S. state is best at. Come for Montana, stay for North Dakota [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 21:27:52 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man kicks a dog who was laying in his parking spot so the dog goes and gets his buddies to help him teach the pri*k some manners [Strange]

Tuesday 10 March 20:57:49 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ireland just accidentally all the drugs [Cool]

Tuesday 10 March 20:14:46 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these crowned freaks [Photoshop]

Tuesday 10 March 20:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: As A Failure, I’ve Learned To Appreciate The Little Things In Life (by Aaron Dibble)

Tuesday 10 March 19:57:00 UTC 2015

By Aaron Dibble
[Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Are Head Transplants On the Way?

Tuesday 10 March 19:47:57 UTC 2015

Despite some recent talk about it, LiveScience says that head transplants aren’t happening anytime soon. * Fans of classic films will enjoy these pictures of Boris Karloff getting makeup done, drinking coffee, and hanging out on the set as Frankenstein’s monster. * Every single look we get at the film Tomorrowland looks cooler than the last. May can’t get here … [Link]

Mental Floss » Would You Try Schmacon, An All-Beef Bacon?

Tuesday 10 March 19:47:56 UTC 2015

A few years ago, Howard M. Bender and a friend went out to grab some breakfast. But instead of getting pork bacon, they opted for the healthier option, ordering turkey bacon instead. But when it arrived at their table, they were disappointed: The turkey bacon was hard and dry and not like real bacon at all. And so Bender—a chef … [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's How You Can Attend the Global Family Reunion Festival

Tuesday 10 March 19:47:50 UTC 2015

mental_floss contributor (and your cousin!) A.J. Jacobs is holding a unique worldwide event on June 6. Tickets just went on sale! All proceeds benefit the fight against Alzheimer’s. The event is the Global Family Reunion, the biggest, most inclusive, most star-studded family reunion ever. You are invited! All members of the human family are! The main event is in New … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Person found dead in Crystal Lake identified as missing teenager. Police are investigating the crime, but so far no one has been brought up on CH CH CH AH AH AHrges [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 19:42:43 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » oh well says FML

Tuesday 10 March 19:41:49 UTC 2015

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML [Link]

FMyLife » schoolsucks says FML

Tuesday 10 March 19:41:48 UTC 2015

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 English Novels with Strangely Translated Titles

Tuesday 10 March 19:30:00 UTC 2015

When an author pens a novel, every word, cover to cover, is carefully selected and crafted into a story designed to capture and express sentiments grand and minute. Those attitudes and ideas are often inexorably intertwined with the author’s culture and, especially, the language. For translators, it’s a daunting challenge to capture the essence of a complex novel while changing … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » MI "Open carry activist" decides to go for walk near a local high school carrying a pistol and a rifle; is incensed that local cops have the temerity to approach and question him after they receive about a zillion panicked 911 call about his

Tuesday 10 March 19:14:37 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [298 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder how many years you have to be dead before it's okay to dig you up again? [Strange]

Tuesday 10 March 19:11:07 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three things that you should never put in your safe-deposit box. Conspicuously absent from list: The key to your safe-deposit box [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 19:05:56 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Parents Cause Narcissism In Children

Tuesday 10 March 18:53:00 UTC 2015

A new study from the Netherlands has found that the development of narcissism in children may be caused in large part by parents who coddle them, call them special, and otherwise give them an inflated sense of their own worth.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hillary brings own microphone and reporters to live press conference about state department emails. Link goes to live feed [News]

Tuesday 10 March 18:43:56 UTC 2015

News [link] [788 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Rising Profile

Tuesday 10 March 18:40:34 UTC 2015

One characteristic incident of his fearlessness occurred when friends of Mahler recommended the Berlin Royal Opera to engage him just before he had signed to go to Hamburg. The intendant at the German capital, who was said to be anti-Semitic, is reported to have replied, ‘We cannot engage Mahler here, as we do not like the shape of his nose.’ … [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of Robotics

Tuesday 10 March 18:35:00 UTC 2015

A decade and a half into the 21st century, it's tempting to ask: Where are all the robots? In the vein of "Where's my jetpack" thinking, it sure seems like robots would be more present in our homes and offices by now. Granted, I do have a floor-cleaning robot, but it's fussy enough that it doesn't seem like the future … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Despite growing trends to legalize it, as seen in Washington and Colorado, NYC Board of Health vows not give in to hippie demands, and continue its ongoing war on… ferrets [Strange]

Tuesday 10 March 18:33:01 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Frogs Eat with Their Eyes—Literally

Tuesday 10 March 18:30:00 UTC 2015

When someone says people eat with their eyes, they usually mean that we assess and appreciate food by sight well before it ever hits our tongues. (What’s more, the appearance of food and even the container it’s in can actually change our perception of its taste.) If they’re talking about frogs, though, they mean it in a much different, more … [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the 'O'-Less States

Tuesday 10 March 18:16:21 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The cartoonist has no idea how fair use works [Followup]

Tuesday 10 March 17:53:38 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Take a "Nap"

Tuesday 10 March 17:26:38 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news – Apple's plan to brainwash us all might not be working as well as they'd hoped [Spiffy]

Tuesday 10 March 17:02:50 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Action Park is Bringing Back the Cannonball Loop

Tuesday 10 March 17:00:00 UTC 2015

domainofdeath3.com Action Park in Vernon, New Jersey—which first opened in 1978 and closed in 1996 after earning itself the nicknames "Traction Park," "Accident Park," and "Class Action Park"—reopened last year. And though it's only been back in business for a season so far, the people in charge are already making daring decisions: They're attempting to bring back the infamous Cannonball … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teacher of the year caught sayof, walking on sunshine [Dumbass]

Tuesday 10 March 16:53:27 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Besides, Can You Think Of a Better Way to Say “I'm Republican”?

Tuesday 10 March 16:40:48 UTC 2015

Boyfriend to girlfriend: I can't get an elephant tattooed on my ass, elephants are really big.Girlfriend: People have solar systems tattooed on them, and those things are fucking huge.Mahwah, New Jersey [Link]

Overheard In The Office » How Do You Feel about a Bandolier Cummerbund?

Tuesday 10 March 16:40:47 UTC 2015

Office grunt: Now, you know they make them tuxedos with the camouflage vests… Them thangs is sharp!Anniston, Alabama [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Whatever For?

Tuesday 10 March 16:40:46 UTC 2015

Trainer: My wife collects bolts of fabric and weaponry… I collect books, DVDs, and Black Plague memorabilia…Attendee: Ummm, I collect coins…Redmond, WashingtonOverheard by: Bored in Training [Link]

Overheard In The Office » How Often Is That Necessary?

Tuesday 10 March 16:40:41 UTC 2015

Boss: Me and my wife would drive a hundred miles for a jar of good pickles! 10749 West 84th Terrace
Lenexa, Kansas Overheard by: PeaveyMan [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Mr. Poitier's Publicist Was Rapidly Fired

Tuesday 10 March 16:40:40 UTC 2015

Man to woman, entering elevator: The best thing about Sydney is that you can go either way, male or female.Cambridge, Massachusetts [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, that's ONE way to get out of paying a toll [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 16:19:58 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You Might Not Know About 'The Princess Bride'

Tuesday 10 March 16:00:00 UTC 2015

It's no wonder The Princess Bride is such a beloved film: It's action-packed but still light-hearted, sweet but not saccharine, silly but still smart—and, of course, endlessly quotable. Fortunately, its lead, Cary Elwes—better known to fans of the cult classic as Westley, Farm Boy or the Dread Pirate Roberts—was inspired by the 25th anniversary celebration of the film in 2012 … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That’s for Our Shaman to Do

Tuesday 10 March 15:58:41 UTC 2015

Mom to son: Once again, she wasn’t stabbing you!Exiting Doctor’s Office
Campbell, CaliforniaOverheard by: Sami [Link]

The Onion » Report: Whites More Likely To Be Named CEOs Than Equally Sociopathic Black Candidates

Tuesday 10 March 15:36:00 UTC 2015

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Shedding light on the striking lack of diversity within the highest ranks of corporate America, a report from the Executive Leadership Council released Tuesday reveals that white individuals are far more likely to be named CEOs than e…
[Link]

The Onion » God Shoots Himself While Cleaning Gun

Tuesday 10 March 15:17:00 UTC 2015

THE HEAVENS—Calling it a careless mistake that was thankfully less serious than it could have been, the Lord God, Maker of Heaven and Earth, admitted Tuesday that He accidentally shot Himself in the thigh while cleaning His Beretta 9 mm semiautomati…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » A handful of lifeguards facing a tidal wave of threats (Sponsored link) [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 15:15:14 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: 15% Of Boston Toddlers Drink Coffee

Tuesday 10 March 15:14:00 UTC 2015

According to a new study led by Boston Medical Center, 15 percent of Boston 2-year-olds drink up to four ounces of coffee per day, which experts say may put them at risk for diabetes, obesity, depression, and caffeine addiction.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scary: Pit bull attacks man. Awesome: Who was beating his girlfriend [Hero]

Tuesday 10 March 15:12:06 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The CIA has been trying to hack your iPhone for the past decade [Followup]

Tuesday 10 March 15:03:14 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man stopped at JFK with $770K in cash from cigarette bootlegging says the money's for a building project in Yemen [Unlikely]

Tuesday 10 March 14:53:53 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Short Weird Fiction of Guy Benoit

Tuesday 10 March 14:53:20 UTC 2015

WU-vians with a spare couple of minutes, and who are looking for a wry chuckle or two, would be well advised to check out the flash fiction of Guy Benoit. A small taste below.

A tip o' the chapeau to our WU artist Rick Altergott for the alert.

[Link]

Overheard In The Office » Please Leave a Message in Ugaritic after the Beep

Tuesday 10 March 14:50:22 UTC 2015

Coworker: Hello. I don’t speak English.Newton, Massachusetts [Link]

The Onion »  Should Companies Discontinue Unpaid Intern Fights?

Tuesday 10 March 14:46:00 UTC 2015

Many critics are questioning whether interns deserve to be paid when pummeling each other for their supervisors' amusement.
[Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

Tuesday 10 March 14:45:00 UTC 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 
[Link]

The Onion » Man Completes Life $130,000 Over Budget

Tuesday 10 March 14:39:00 UTC 2015

SAN FRANCISCO—Having drastically underestimated the expenses required for such an elaborate production, recently deceased local man Norman Dennison is said to have completed his 84-year life Tuesday approximately $130,000 over budget.
[Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Spring Break Safety Tips

Tuesday 10 March 14:36:00 UTC 2015

Spring break is an opportunity for many college students to travel, party, and make memories with their friends, but it can also lead to problems if people aren’t careful.
[Link]

The Onion » Mitt Romney Still Thinking About Running For President In 2012

Tuesday 10 March 14:34:00 UTC 2015

Mitt Romney Still Thinking About Running For President In 2012
[Link]

Mental Floss » Can Opera Singers Shatter Glass?

Tuesday 10 March 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Famed turn-of-the-century Tenor Enrico Caruso could purportedly shatter Champagne glasses by belting out high notes. And Ella Fitzgerald did it herself in a 1972 Memorex commercial (although she had a little help from two speakers). So it can be done, but it’s incredibly difficult. What you’ll need is a good ear, some powerful pipes, and a lesson in Physics 101. … [Link]

FMyLife » TooMuchAnxiety says FML

Tuesday 10 March 14:10:21 UTC 2015

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me to homecoming, in front of the whole school, knowing I have social anxiety. I was forced to say yes to not seem like an asshole. Now I can't back out. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You Need More Women Friends, Bonnie

Tuesday 10 March 13:45:24 UTC 2015

Office girl: Dude, I took a weird deuce this morning!Office guy: What? How?Office girl: Have you ever seen anyone make a funnel cake?Durham, North Carolina [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suge Knight's murder trial now includes drive-thru video (warning: graphic video) [Followup]

Tuesday 10 March 13:07:55 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [239 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Giant chunks of global warming are washing up on Cape Cod [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 13:01:33 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [314 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sip'n'grip [Photoshop]

Tuesday 10 March 13:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Entire town learns sign language to surprise deaf man. Deaf man angry he can no longer call everyone assholes without them knowing [Sappy]

Tuesday 10 March 12:46:38 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Zippo Pour L’Homme

Tuesday 10 March 12:41:41 UTC 2015

Editor: I smell lighter fluid. Is that new cologne someone’s wearing?News building, 57th Street and 10th Avenue
New York, New YorkOverheard by: Nik [Link]

Weird Universe » Mothers Against Potholes

Tuesday 10 March 12:39:21 UTC 2015

Back in 1982, a group of mothers in the Detroit area got tired of the local government not doing enough to tackle the problem of potholes. So they started repairing the roads themselves, calling themselves the Mothers Against Potholes. It was a noble effort, but I'm not sure that, in the end, their efforts really made that much difference.


The … [Link]

Mental Floss » Take a "Nap"

Tuesday 10 March 12:39:15 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you really want to show everyone how caring you are you'll download a free app that allows charities to display ads on your smart phone screen instead of letting it go dark [Strange]

Tuesday 10 March 12:36:47 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #243

Tuesday 10 March 12:24:49 UTC 2015

[Link]

FMyLife » I shagged ur mum says FML

Tuesday 10 March 11:59:50 UTC 2015

Today, I was invited to my son's 5th birthday party. I didn't even known I had a son. FML [Link]

FMyLife » SkottLong says FML

Tuesday 10 March 11:59:49 UTC 2015

Today, I showed my father a nice sweatshirt online, hoping he would take the hint and get it for me. He did, three sizes larger than mine, for himself. FML [Link]

FMyLife » CrazyInLove says FML

Tuesday 10 March 11:59:48 UTC 2015

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » We Are Hiring Editors and Writers!

Tuesday 10 March 11:29:15 UTC 2015

Join us! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to own a Maine country inn? You're just a 200-word essay away [Spiffy]

Tuesday 10 March 11:08:34 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Most ER visits don't start with a male nurse helping you take off your bra and end with him giving you a relaxing shoulder massage [Strange]

Tuesday 10 March 10:54:14 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can take a dog camping, skateboarding, hunting, jogging, and bicycling with you, but only a shelter cat will go rock climbing with you [Cool]

Tuesday 10 March 10:47:27 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man goes prospecting, finds massive gold nugget, doesn't know what to assay [Spiffy]

Tuesday 10 March 10:46:22 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: No matter how crowded KMart is, someone will probably notice if you try to wheel an entire jewelry case out the door [Fail]

Tuesday 10 March 10:45:00 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the "most trusted news network" in America is… well, it's not CNN, that's for sure [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 10:44:58 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wait, but why doesn't somebody try long-form journalism instead of plagiarizing listicles of six weird tricks to get those cat .GIFs to go viral? [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 10:36:51 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Decriminalizing marijuana in Colorado causes different kind of high for Denver Police: "Marijuana seizures increase 1000% since 2011" (autoplay video) [Spiffy]

Tuesday 10 March 10:31:45 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's always a little embarrassing to be caught with your pants down looking into a tanning salon with your face pressed up against the window and you're panting [Strange]

Tuesday 10 March 10:31:04 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you praise your children? Yes? Well, congratulations for making them narcissists [PSA]

Tuesday 10 March 10:12:00 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Despite what your friends tell you, sucking on a copper penny won't affect the outcome of a breathalyzer test [Dumbass]

Tuesday 10 March 10:02:17 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Women of the Supreme Court in LEGO Form

Tuesday 10 March 10:00:00 UTC 2015

The Supreme Court has long been a boy's club—so far there have only been four female justices since the court's inception. Somehow the court managed to be woman-free for an embarrassing 192 years, until Sandra Day O'Connor's appointment in 1981. Artist Maia Weinstock decided to celebrate the four female justices by immortalizing them as LEGO minifigures. The custom pieces aim … [Link]

FMyLife » MyMomIsInsane says FML

Tuesday 10 March 9:58:45 UTC 2015

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out the "poison" that a Connecticut teen once refused to treat her cancer may actually be useful for, you know, treating cancer [Obvious]

Tuesday 10 March 9:58:37 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Four police officers insist a mysterious female voice called "Help" and led them to 18-month-baby. BUT THE MOTHER WAS DEAD [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 9:42:13 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gun sales are increasing, but individual ownership is decreasing, which means only one thing: Your unhinged, paranoid, 24×7 camo-clad uncle is hoarding them, along with plywood, MREs, generators, and satin panties. Don't ask about the last one, t

Tuesday 10 March 9:32:18 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [213 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you see someone drowning, don't jump in and save them. If you see someone choking, don't give them the Heimlich. If you see someone bleeding from the head on the sidewalk, let them bleed from the head on the sidewalk [Obvious]

Tuesday 10 March 9:28:19 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Israel tramples on the sovereignty of a small middle eastern country [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 9:14:09 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Great Stones that Rock

Tuesday 10 March 9:00:03 UTC 2015

Standing Stones: The Great Stones of Great Britain and Ireland. Stonehenge may be the most famous, but it’s only one site of many.
*
The Bullet Ant Sting May Be the Worst Pain Known to Man. But there are hidden benefits of the neurotoxin that can make you feel good.
*
Channing Tatum, Dan Aykroyd, Ivan Reitman are hatching a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suspects threaten victim with hypodermic needle during robbery, no shots reported [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 8:28:07 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [11 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 10 March 8:23:41 UTC 2015

Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beware the pollen vortex. You can sneeze but you can't hide [Strange]

Tuesday 10 March 8:15:00 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [18 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » Amount of Swears per Conversation

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:17 UTC 2015

age,amount,conversation,elderly,Line Graph,middle aged,old,swears,teenagers,young Graph by: Dumbface Tagged: age , amount , conversation , elderly , Line Graph , middle aged , old , swears , teenagers , young Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So Are Harry and Hermione Secret Siblings?

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:16 UTC 2015

Star Wars and Harry Potter Graph by: sixonefive72 Tagged: Harry Potter , star wars , versus Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Y U No Use Memes Properly!?

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:15 UTC 2015

college memes,misused,venn diagram,y u no meme Graph by: Unknown Tagged: college memes , misused , venn diagram , y u no meme Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:13 UTC 2015

embarassed forever alone Pie Chart waving - 3972407040 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: embarassed , forever alone , Pie Chart , waving Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:11 UTC 2015

alcohol Awkward cashiers condoms grocery store have a nice day Pie Chart tampons - 4227102720 Graph by: SydBarrett Tagged: alcohol , Awkward , cashiers , condoms , grocery store , have a nice day , Pie Chart , tampons Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Face Is About to Be Art

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:08 UTC 2015

annoying,art,conversations,Line Graph Graph by: (via emilysayshi.tumblr.com) Tagged: annoying , art , conversations , Line Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's When They Go Out That You're in Trouble

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:07 UTC 2015

ghosts haunted light Pie Chart trouble - 5508437248 Graph by: T-BONE120692 Tagged: ghosts , haunted , light , Pie Chart , trouble Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Gonna Sing the Doom Song Now

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:05 UTC 2015

cartoons,GIR,Invader Zim,Pie Chart Graph by: NinjaInWhite Tagged: cartoons , GIR , Invader Zim , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » GTFO My Kitchen

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:04 UTC 2015

cooks,food,gtfo,kitchen,Line Graph,taste Graph by: (via Life Hacker) Tagged: cooks , food , gtfo , kitchen , Line Graph , taste Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So I Have This Virus…

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:03 UTC 2015

computers,it,nerd,Pie Chart,programmer Graph by: CommanderBrot Tagged: computers , it , nerd , Pie Chart , programmer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Where Does Pit Boss Fit In?

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:01 UTC 2015

Graph by: rasberrylatte09 Tagged: animal planet , loch ness , Pie Chart , programming , shows Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What Does Lizard Look Like?

Tuesday 10 March 8:05:00 UTC 2015

hand games,paper,Pie Chart,rock,scissors,Spock Graph by: (via nathanthenerd) Tagged: hand games , paper , Pie Chart , rock , scissors , Spock Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Stacy Can't You See You're Just Not the Girl for Me

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:59 UTC 2015

Things That Have It Going On Graph by: Unknown Tagged: fountains of wayne , light switch , on , Pie Chart , stacys-mom Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Serving Sizes

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:57 UTC 2015

How Much I Want to Eat A Normal Amount to Eat Serving Sizes One Serving, According to the Package Graph by: StarsHallelujah Tagged: eating , food , serving size , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't Waste Another Peeny!

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:56 UTC 2015

books dating girls guarantee infographic lure p33n print Graph by: (via The High Definite) Tagged: books , dating , girls , guarantee , infographic , lure , p33n , print Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Opposite of the Five Finger Discount

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:55 UTC 2015

charity five finger discount money touching TSA venn diagram - 4328732672 Graph by: sonalis Tagged: charity , five finger discount , money , touching , TSA , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Think Hurts… Can't Brain…

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:54 UTC 2015

Bar Graph,brain,confusion,horizontal,hurt,thinking Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , brain , confusion , horizontal , hurt , thinking Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Procrasti-Nation

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:51 UTC 2015

nap,procrastination,gaming,map,flag,internets Source: Wronghands1 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: nap , procrastination , gaming , map , flag , internets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » When you tell your friend their breath stinks

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:50 UTC 2015

Graph by: sonotoriginal Tagged: break , breath , brush , chew , face , friend , gum , Pie Chart , smell , stinks , teeth Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:48 UTC 2015

glare picture in picture Pie Chart pip television window - 4234693632 Graph by: AkimboJavelin Tagged: glare , picture in picture , Pie Chart , pip , television , window Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Why Did I Even Buy This Thing?

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:46 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bed , college , Pie Chart , university Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Chance I'll Get Caught by a Red Light

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:44 UTC 2015

LoL by: museonfire Tagged: coffee , driving , graphjam , graphs , situational humor , traffic , transportation Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:43 UTC 2015

appearance computer finance pick two speed venn diagram Graph by: funky3000 Tagged: appearance , computer , finance , pick two , speed , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Also When the Internet Is Down

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:40 UTC 2015

Graph by: MattheJ1 Tagged: computer , entertainment , games , Pie Chart , play , solitaire Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Working Title: Teenage Explosive Ninja Aliens

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:38 UTC 2015

Aliens,explosions,Michael Bay,Pie Chart,TMNT Graph by: PhillyWillyNillyChilly Tagged: Aliens , explosions , Michael Bay , Pie Chart , TMNT Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reality TV Show Content

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:36 UTC 2015

commercials drama location Pie Chart preview reaction reality shows reality tv recap title TV - 3430053632 Graph by: EllieJane Tagged: commercials , drama , location , Pie Chart , preview , reaction , reality shows , reality tv , recap , title , TV Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Your Jedi Mind Tricks Will Not Work On Me, Boy

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:35 UTC 2015

force powers Jedi Pie Chart star wars Graph by: Tagged: force powers , Jedi , Pie Chart , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Re-Plotted: Why Did I Get Married?

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:33 UTC 2015

Pie Chart,Sad,sexytimes,wife Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Pie Chart , Sad , sexytimes , wife Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Sorry, No Spandex

Tuesday 10 March 8:04:31 UTC 2015

cloths,dress code,spandex,venn diagram Graph by: MCRfangirl Tagged: cloths , dress code , spandex , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

FMyLife » nohobo says FML

Tuesday 10 March 7:22:46 UTC 2015

Today, I noticed that whenever I don't give the homeless guy around the corner some money, my side mirrors get stolen. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nine of the 13 best beers in the U.S. are brewed in Vermont and Maine [Unlikely]

Tuesday 10 March 6:29:00 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Huffman’s Pyramid

Tuesday 10 March 6:16:33 UTC 2015

Here’s a subtly impossible figure devised by UC-Santa Cruz computer scientist David Huffman. If it’s a three-sided pyramid, then its edges define the intersections of three planes and should meet in a single point. But they don’t: This is intriguing because the figure doesn’t immediately look impossible. In Vagueness and Contradiction, philosopher Roy Sorensen writes, “The impossibility of an appearance … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Besides getting aliens from planet to planet, streetlights can get really smart by saving electricity and a lot more [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 6:11:23 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know those people who refuse to walk over those big metal plates and grates in sidewalks? This has the potential to set their therapy back years. "Depths of Hellevator. Going… down?" [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 6:10:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫Oh, yes, they called him the Streak (Look at that, look at that) / He liked to show off his physique (Look at that, look at that) / But, the cops just shot him dead / Put a bullet in both his heads/ Invitin' public critique♫ [Sick]

Tuesday 10 March 5:29:00 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Why Olympic Athletes Now Get Sesame Jack Chicken Strips Instead Of Medals

Tuesday 10 March 4:35:00 UTC 2015

Mom: If she gets convicted, I'm taking you to T.G.I. Friday's.Son: Can we go even if she doesn't? Because it will feel like a victory either way, then.Courthouse
Mentor, OhioOverheard by: Bird is the word [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Hates Women?

Tuesday 10 March 4:34:58 UTC 2015

Coworker on phone: He had two career ideas: one was to start an internet porn site, and the other was to become a priest. Syracuse, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How does a male teenager try to see if he has testicular cancer? By taking a pregnancy test of course [Weird]

Tuesday 10 March 3:59:38 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boston 2024 Olympic group releases staff salaries. Among them is former Gov. Deval Patrick, who is making $7500/day as "global ambassador" [Asinine]

Tuesday 10 March 2:41:53 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Don’t Know What I Know ’til Somebody Tells Me

Tuesday 10 March 2:22:29 UTC 2015

Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.Fifth Avenue
New York City, New YorkOverheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Malaysia Airlines moistened towelette is being examined to determine if it has any connection to CNN [Interesting]

Tuesday 10 March 1:18:34 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You Must Be from Up North, Ma'am

Tuesday 10 March 1:16:55 UTC 2015

Shipping customer: When does UPS come to pick up?Owner: He's due around five, and he has not been here yet. Your package will go out today.Shipping customer: He's due at five? Will it go out today? Did he come yet?Riverside Parkway
Lawrenceville, GeorgiaOverheard by: Jami [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tired of just fighting with each other, Chuck E Cheese customers decide to attack employees instead [Sick]

Tuesday 10 March 1:11:41 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Send Ancestry.com a DNA sample to learn your family history and potentially make your descendants murder suspects [Scary]

Tuesday 10 March 0:55:18 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When leaving a job, Gallant thanks his employer for the opportunity. Goofus steals letters from Michelangelo and ransoms them for €100,000 [Weird]

Tuesday 10 March 0:28:19 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [13 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 10 March 0:24:38 UTC 2015

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Maybe I Should Go Amend Her Chart?

Tuesday 10 March 0:13:49 UTC 2015

Grunt #1: What’s wrong with Debbie*?Grunt #2: Uh, something’s wrong with the gonads on her vocal cords.Grunt #1: You mean ‘nodules’?Grunt #2: Oh, yeah.Colleyville, TexasOverheard by: quite amused [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ball handler [Photoshop]

Tuesday 10 March 0:11:38 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this diplomatic dialogue [Photoshop]

Tuesday 10 March 0:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

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