John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » If you've ever wanted to own your own big city tabloid newspaper, have we got a deal for you. Seriously, make an offer. Any offer. They'll be more than happy to listen [Interesting]

Saturday 28 February 23:50:17 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Totally did not see this coming [Scary]

Saturday 28 February 23:47:57 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No kidding…those guys were really loud [Obvious]

Saturday 28 February 22:56:06 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman sends $1.4 million to her Italian online boyfriend who is currently jailed in Africa after being falsely accused of money laundering. "I am 95 percent certain that Chris is telling me the truth, that this is all legit" [Dumbass]

Saturday 28 February 22:52:33 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ ♩ ♪ Leprosy / All my body parts are falling off of me / I'm not half the man I used to be / Since I came down with leprosy ♫ ♩ ♪ [Repeat]

Saturday 28 February 21:50:04 UTC 2015

Repeat [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Log cabin, missing for two days, is found 3750 feet away. That's some fine police work, Lou [Followup]

Saturday 28 February 21:36:53 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this brow beater [Photoshop]

Saturday 28 February 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In what is already being hailed as "the cutest photoshoot ever," red squirrels snapped playing with snowballs and even taking photos of one another (awesome pics) [Cool]

Saturday 28 February 20:27:20 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » FreshDonuts says FML

Saturday 28 February 19:59:46 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML [Link]

FMyLife » bobjope says FML

Saturday 28 February 19:59:45 UTC 2015

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Collector shells out $740 for perfectly round hen's egg. Terrible egg puns and other yolks to the right in 3, 2, 1 [Amusing]

Saturday 28 February 19:38:28 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Syrian Golden Hamsters: The Drunken Uncles of the Rodent World

Saturday 28 February 19:20:18 UTC 2015

When given the choice between booze and water, these hard-partying hamsters choose the hard stuff every time. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A historical take on the fluoridation debate of the 1950s. There were plenty of people who thought it was a communist plot to corrupt their precious bodily fluids [Interesting]

Saturday 28 February 18:59:42 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » THIS is why your wife doesn't trust you with either power tools or home remodeling projects (pics, video) [Amusing]

Saturday 28 February 18:56:09 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Mixed Greens

Saturday 28 February 18:51:29 UTC 2015

Professor Starr Jordan, President of Leland Stanford University, told of a case where nature had juggled with real estate during the San Francisco earthquake. An earthquake crack had passed directly in front of three cottages, and moved the rose-garden from the middle cottage to the furthest one, and the raspberry patch from the near cottage exactly opposite the middle one. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vineyard robbers make off with 5,000 bottles of wine. As it was English wine, losses are estimated to be in the tens of pounds [Amusing]

Saturday 28 February 18:07:05 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Weird Conspiracy Theories Surrounding the Denver International Airport

Saturday 28 February 17:20:31 UTC 2015

On February 28, 1995, the Denver International Airport opened its doors and its runways to the general public after falling over a year behind schedule and spending a reported $2 billion more than its original budget had dictated. The massive new airport didn’t just take up lots of time and money—it also took up a lot of space: 20 years … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cop lied about a marijuana arrest, failed to report how he tormented a suspect with his Taser, got a massage illegally that was just a happy ending, and, worst of all, claimed a three-hour lunch break lasted only one hour [Florida]

Saturday 28 February 17:10:14 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putin vows to track down The Real Killers, as soon as he's done shopping for a new pair of Bruno Maglis [Followup]

Saturday 28 February 16:45:34 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [74 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 28 February 16:45:33 UTC 2015

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Ouch says FML

Saturday 28 February 16:45:32 UTC 2015

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police pull over a couple of dummies on the Long Island Expressway for driving too fast in the HOV lane. One was made of popsicle sticks [Dumbass]

Saturday 28 February 16:42:52 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You smuggle 16 tons and what do you get? [Fail]

Saturday 28 February 16:39:46 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nova Scotia thrift store: Remember that large sum of money you withdrew from your bank in 2006? Well, we have good news for you [Unlikely]

Saturday 28 February 16:19:49 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Bile Beans

Saturday 28 February 15:46:11 UTC 2015

One of the less-alluringly named nostrums. Full story here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In the movies, a James Bond-style retractable bumper to hide your license plate is cool. However, using one at the toll booth on the George Washington Bridge, is not [Fail]

Saturday 28 February 15:36:43 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First grader punished for being late to class. Naturally, some people have a problem with that [Silly]

Saturday 28 February 15:32:55 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » He Believes Chrysler Daimlered For Our Sins

Saturday 28 February 15:00:36 UTC 2015

Boss on the phone: What religion is he?…That makes sense that he drives a Jeep then.Northbrook, IllinoisOverheard by: AHHH!! [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You're Talking to a Sandwich Artist, Ma'am

Saturday 28 February 15:00:35 UTC 2015

Customer, ordering every single item on a sub: And olives, and banana peppers, and lettuce… oh, and a little splash of that vinaigrette, I like it messy.Kearneysville, West Virginia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Reader Poll: Which Is More Obscene?

Saturday 28 February 15:00:32 UTC 2015

Communications manager: So what did you do this weekend?Female site admin, as garbage truck drives by: I rediscovered Lionel Richie.Communications manager, confused: You discovered lesbian orgies?Female site admin: Wow.Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, NevadaOverheard by: Sex Writer Goddess [Link]

Overheard In The Office » A Brain That Dresses All Seductive but Won’t Put Out?

Saturday 28 February 15:00:31 UTC 2015

Receptionist: What’s a brainteaser?16 Bailey Avenue
Ridgefield, ConnecticutOverheard by: Nikki [Link]

Mental Floss » Adam Savage Built The Shining's Overlook Hotel Maze Model

Saturday 28 February 15:00:00 UTC 2015

All work and no play makes Adam a dull boy. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago bakery combines meatloaf, cupcakes and spaghetti. A three course dinner in each bite [Spiffy]

Saturday 28 February 14:37:46 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mud masquerade [Photoshop]

Saturday 28 February 14:30:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Spock’s Photography

Saturday 28 February 14:00:00 UTC 2015

Late actor Leonard Nimoy's most public face was that of Spock, the half-Vulcan who won the hearts of human viewers. When not in front of the camera, however, Nimoy could often be found behind one, amassing an impressive portfolio of artistic photography over his long and prosperous life. * In a global cleanliness survey on which country's citizens shower the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did Jeb Bush survive the crazy that is CPAC in his appearance and if he did, is that a good thing? Sane Republicans need to know [Interesting]

Saturday 28 February 13:55:54 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 43% of Americans want a larger home. Apparently the obesity thing is getting more out of hand than we thought [Obvious]

Saturday 28 February 13:43:53 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New measles case linked to Las Vegas restaurant. Officials surprised someone in Las Vegas only caught the measles [Interesting]

Saturday 28 February 13:39:51 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Texas legislators smell decaying rat

Saturday 28 February 13:32:16 UTC 2015

In 1969, a rat died somewhere in the offices of the Texas legislature. This led to the passage of Texas House State Resolution 433:

WHEREAS, there are many brands of rat poison on the market today; and
WHEREAS, Some brands of rat poison do cause the rat to leave the building before he dies; and
WHEREAS, The same thing goes … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brooklyn car service has a basement adoption area, plus an operating room where vets perform free spay/neuter surgeries on stray cats – over 9,000 of them since 2011. Get in the car, it's time for Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 28 February 13:30:00 UTC 2015

Caturday [link] [1065 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wellness Warrior dies aged 30 after trying to cure her cancer naturally [Dumbass]

Saturday 28 February 13:19:48 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But That Doughnut Looked So Good!

Saturday 28 February 13:08:37 UTC 2015

Nurse walks out to designated smoking area as her pager goes off.Nurse, shaking her head in disgust: ‘Emergency!’ Of course. Why these people gotta be goin’ into diabetic shock when I wanna go outside? [Sits down to smoke cigarette.]1031 SW Fleming Court
Topeka, KansasOverheard by: Jonna [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo debuts their newest arrival, an ugly-ass baby lowland gorilla [Spiffy]

Saturday 28 February 12:28:00 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Britain? Really?

Saturday 28 February 11:58:59 UTC 2015

Manager, yelling slowly into phone: It’s a little wet, but it’s wild.Auckland
New Zealand [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That's What You Said About the Fire Alarm!

Saturday 28 February 10:52:09 UTC 2015

HR, in response to ringtone coming from another cube: I think it's nice it makes me want to hustle… or… film a porno.Marlborough, Massachusetts [Link]

FMyLife » Y_Y says FML

Saturday 28 February 8:37:51 UTC 2015

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 28 February 8:37:50 UTC 2015

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 28 February 8:36:37 UTC 2015

comedian dont-work eddie izzard helicopters inventor leonardi davinci venn diagram Video - 4551675648 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-dH~ Graph by: rickyfan5370 Tagged: comedian , dont-work , eddie izzard , helicopters , inventor , leonardi davinci , venn diagram , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 800,000 Americans Are Doing It Right Now!

Saturday 28 February 8:36:35 UTC 2015

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: batin , infographic , infographics show , private times , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons Puerto Rico Hasn't Been Granted Statehood

Saturday 28 February 8:36:34 UTC 2015

LoL by: nedalton Tagged: graphjam , puerto rico , situational humor Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mushroom Abuse In Pop. Culture

Saturday 28 February 8:36:33 UTC 2015

Graph by: pikachugirl2 Tagged: abuse , alice in wonderland , dora the explorer , Mushrooms , Pie Chart , pop culture , super mario brothers , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Usage of flexible ruler

Saturday 28 February 8:36:32 UTC 2015

Graph by: JamaicanBacon Tagged: Pie Chart , ruler , school , thwap , tool , violence Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Breakdown of Costs

Saturday 28 February 8:36:31 UTC 2015

Avatar breakdown cgi costs image movies Pie Chart plot rendering script Graph by: OwenJA Tagged: Avatar , breakdown , cgi , costs , image , movies , Pie Chart , plot , rendering , script Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Stuff Your Face, Responsibly

Saturday 28 February 8:36:29 UTC 2015

Double Down eating food leftovers - 6399092992 Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: Double Down , eating , food , leftovers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Shortest Path Usually Has Barriers

Saturday 28 February 8:36:28 UTC 2015

Untitled Graph by: Bendyrulz Tagged: barrier , best of week , path , success Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Problem With Errorbars

Saturday 28 February 8:36:27 UTC 2015

Graph by: susruta101 Tagged: Bar Graph , bar graphs , best of week , errorbars , trust Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Just Sat Down

Saturday 28 February 8:36:26 UTC 2015

Cats flow chart in and out outside pets Graph by: Powerpuff20 Tagged: Cats , flow chart , in and out , outside , pets Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Ewoks Are So Cute

Saturday 28 February 8:36:23 UTC 2015

Graph by: beckehz Tagged: girls , i heart nerds , nerds , Pie Chart , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Afraid the Damage is Permanent

Saturday 28 February 8:36:22 UTC 2015

Graph by: (via Scandanavia and the World) Tagged: coat of arms , cute , lions Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » At work!

Saturday 28 February 8:36:21 UTC 2015

Cheezburger Image 4326775296 … Graph by: XxJDxX Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Don't They Have Enough From That Tub of Popcorn I Just Bought?

Saturday 28 February 8:36:20 UTC 2015

hollywood,industry,money,Movie,previews,sequels Graph by: (via Pleated Jeans) Tagged: hollywood , industry , money , Movie , previews , sequels Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Rule #35 the REAL story

Saturday 28 February 8:36:18 UTC 2015

Things that exist Things there is porn about Rule #35 the REAL story Graph by: urgeckoisbroken Tagged: exist , porn , real , Rule 35 , story Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » You Won't Get Fooled Again

Saturday 28 February 8:36:17 UTC 2015

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: facts , infographic , pills , placebos , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Mathmaticious

Saturday 28 February 8:36:15 UTC 2015

Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: fergie , graph jams , math , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Top 10 Read Books

Saturday 28 February 8:36:14 UTC 2015

Bar Graph,bible,books,Harry Potter,world Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , bible , books , Harry Potter , world Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Untitled

Saturday 28 February 8:36:11 UTC 2015

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/ Submitted by: Unknown Tagged: asian , humans , male , national geographic , population , studies , typical , Video Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Almost There…

Saturday 28 February 8:36:08 UTC 2015

When I'm downloading something... Graph by: photonz Tagged: computers , downloading , percent , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Facebook Encounters

Saturday 28 February 8:36:07 UTC 2015

adha,Awkward,behavior,brief,complained,down,facebook,failwhale,friends,internet,myspace,narcissism,parents,Pie Chart,polite,reload,screamed,social networking,stalking,text,time,twitter,venn diagram,wasting,websites,work Graph by: rmyoung Tagged: adha , Awkward , behavior , brief , complained , down , facebook , failwhale , friends , internet , myspace , narcissism , parents , Pie Chart , polite , reload , screamed , social networking , stalking , text , time , twitter , venn diagram , wasting , websites , work Share on … [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons not to stay in The Closet

Saturday 28 February 8:36:06 UTC 2015

Graph by: solrosan Tagged: big , closet , dark , gay , lie , lonely , mothballs , narnia , person , Pie Chart , smell Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » And the Mystical Golden Dollar

Saturday 28 February 8:36:03 UTC 2015

america Bar Graph coins money nickel penny quarter - 4270038784 Graph by: Jimmychoogurl Tagged: america , Bar Graph , coins , money , nickel , penny , quarter Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Everyone Has to See My Fabulous Taste

Saturday 28 February 8:36:02 UTC 2015

books kindle Pie Chart pretentious reading - 5303095808 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: books , kindle , Pie Chart , pretentious , reading Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How often 'eh' is said

Saturday 28 February 8:36:01 UTC 2015

americans,canadians,fun,language,situational humor LoL by: takedown1 Tagged: americans , canadians , fun , language , situational humor Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Most of Them Don't Have to Be Cooked!

Saturday 28 February 8:36:00 UTC 2015

Raw beetle is the best beetle. Graph by: xiaojer Tagged: bear grylls , man vs wild , Pie Chart , protein Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Greatest Phrase You Shouldn't Use

Saturday 28 February 8:35:59 UTC 2015

bribery phrase Pie Chart saying - 6069074176 Graph by: S.P.A-Bits (via www.bite.ca) Tagged: bribery , phrase , Pie Chart , saying Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Prefer a Map of Middle-Earth

Saturday 28 February 8:35:56 UTC 2015

best of week,earth,globe,map,Maps Graph by: ParanoidPenguin (via xkcd.com) Tagged: best of week , earth , globe , map , Maps Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Intended Use of Spam when Purchased

Saturday 28 February 8:35:55 UTC 2015

eating,food,spam LoL by: ajax Tagged: eating , food , spam Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 28 February 8:35:54 UTC 2015

books found him my life Pie Chart striped sweater waldo where are you - 4144848128 Graph by: Taterdude Tagged: books , found him , my life , Pie Chart , striped sweater , waldo , where are you Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Usually Startling, Whatever They Are

Saturday 28 February 8:35:53 UTC 2015

What I Think Internet Advertisements Are Graph by: sstjohn3086 Tagged: ads , advertisements , annoying , Pie Chart , virus Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Speed Limits There Are Confusing

Saturday 28 February 8:35:52 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: distance , lol , measurement , miles , minutes , Pie Chart , texas Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons to get the Amulet of Mara

Saturday 28 February 8:35:51 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: elder scrolls , inventory , marriage , Pie Chart , Skyrim , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Workplace Urgency

Saturday 28 February 8:35:50 UTC 2015

days,FRIDAY,likely,task,urgency,work Graph by: charliepacific29 Tagged: days , FRIDAY , likely , task , urgency , work Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Kiss Me (Silent But) Deadly

Saturday 28 February 8:35:49 UTC 2015

bathroom deadly farts girls kiss me deadly movies Pie Chart silent - 4551215872 Graph by: JonnyH211 Tagged: bathroom , deadly , farts , girls , kiss me deadly , movies , Pie Chart , silent Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anti-vaxxer gives 156 people the gift of measles after having coffee in California [Dumbass]

Saturday 28 February 8:34:00 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [205 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Misconceptions About Makeup

Saturday 28 February 6:40:16 UTC 2015

This week, host Elliott Morgan dispels some misconceptions about what you're putting on your face. More Videos…
10 Food Misconceptions
10 Misconceptions About Technology
80 Facts About the '80s Don't miss an episode of mental_floss on YouTube—subscribe here. [Images and footage provided by Shutterstock.] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're ever in Wendover, Buckinghamshire and run into the world's oldest bartender, buy her a drink and wish her a happy 100th birthday [Spiffy]

Saturday 28 February 6:33:26 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Winner’s Curse

Saturday 28 February 6:21:07 UTC 2015

In 1983, Max Bazerman and William Samuelson asked M.B.A. students in 12 Boston University microeconomics classes to estimate the value of each of four commodities: jars containing 800 pennies, 160 nickels, 200 large paper clips each worth 4 cents, and 400 small paper clips each worth 2 cents. Thus each jar had a value of $8.00, though the students didn’t … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The chances that an armed air marshal will be on your flight is dependent on the amount of fuel on the aircraft, if there's any important passengers, or if a female air marshal wants the D [Dumbass]

Saturday 28 February 5:38:00 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [85 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » pregz says FML

Saturday 28 February 4:53:13 UTC 2015

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No, no, no, look out, LOOK OUT (not safe for work language) [Scary]

Saturday 28 February 4:33:13 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prominent Russian dissident falls out of window onto exploding bomb. And was also killed in shooting accident [NewsFlash]

Saturday 28 February 2:59:21 UTC 2015

NewsFlash [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have a baby? Leave a baby. Need a baby? Take a baby [Weird]

Saturday 28 February 2:31:48 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Actors Who Voiced M

Saturday 28 February 2:19:03 UTC 2015

At the Academy Awards last Sunday, J.K. Simmons took home the Best Supporting Actor award for his role in Whiplash, making him the first M&M to win an Oscar. Simmons has provided the voice for the bumbling Yellow M&M character for nearly 20 years—but he’s not the only celebrity to speak for the candy. Here’s his story—and six others. 1. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 16 optical illusions that are more fun than that damn dress [Cool]

Saturday 28 February 1:36:59 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Hey, Everyone Has Gaps in Their Knowledge

Saturday 28 February 1:17:36 UTC 2015

Sales rep #1: So can you get pregnant from your boyfriend accidentally ejaculating in you?Sales rep #2, shocked: Uhhh… Yeah.Sales rep #1: Crap. Well, if I'm not here later this week it's because I'm getting an abortion, okay?Albany, New YorkOverheard by: Still confused [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Elvira Also Believes Her Doctor Is Psychic

Saturday 28 February 1:17:35 UTC 2015

Woman on phone: I got a letter from the insurance agency. What should I do?Lawyer: What does the letter say?Woman: Aren't you a lawyer?Lawyer: Yes, but I need to see what the letter says.Woman: You're e a lawyer. You should know these things.Lawyer: Without reading it, I don't know.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Don't Worry: My Team Always Manages to Pull It Out.

Saturday 28 February 1:17:34 UTC 2015

Manager: I've got number one done and now I've just got to work on number two. Number two is a bit trickier, though, so it's going to be at least another 15/20 minutes.Marlborough, Massachusetts [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Until She Went “Peekaboo!”

Saturday 28 February 1:17:32 UTC 2015

Office girl #1: She couldn’t find my cervix. My cervix!Office girl #2: You do know everyone can hear you, right?Office girl #1: No, no, wait — she found it, she just couldn’t see it!43rd Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Yes, I Know They All Smell Bad

Saturday 28 February 1:17:31 UTC 2015

Curator on cell: So, have you found the dead artist yet?Art gallery
London
England [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That, and an iPod Nano

Saturday 28 February 1:17:30 UTC 2015

Temp: I, like, can’t believe I don’t have herpes yet.1212 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Since when, and in what country do governments determine what is appropriate in Art?" You new to 'Murrica, sir? [Asinine]

Saturday 28 February 1:06:31 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this high stepper [Photoshop]

Saturday 28 February 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Deaf People Come Up With Signs for Slang Terms Like “Photobomb”

Saturday 28 February 1:00:00 UTC 2015

New technology always introduces linguistic challenges. In the early days of moviemaking, it wasn’t clear what these new entertainments should be called. Kinesigraphs (after photograph)? Films? Moving pictures? Motion pictures? Picture shows? Movies? It is possible to imagine a new concept in different ways. Do you name it for the thing that distinguishes it from what came before? (It’s a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Homeless man advises CPAC that they can avoid STDs by having sex for less than 30 seconds [Asinine]

Saturday 28 February 0:35:03 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Just When You Thought None Of Your Co-workers Gave a Shit…

Saturday 28 February 0:34:37 UTC 2015

Woman in accounting who's trying to stop using profanity: Why isn't my computer working? Why won't you print my shit? (pause) Shit! (pause) Dammit!Fort Mill, South Carolina [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman rushed to the hospital unconscious after random drive-by. FARK: Drive-by EGGING [Scary]

Saturday 28 February 0:14:26 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » boyishgirl says FML

Saturday 28 February 0:13:29 UTC 2015

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Mark says FML

Saturday 28 February 0:13:28 UTC 2015

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any … [Link]

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