Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » You know that scene in Ferris Bueller when the parking attendants take the car for a joyride? A judge in Brazil seems to be familiar with it, too [Amusing]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » She was arrested for "punching him in the nuts," reported amused Florida cops [Amusing]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A man's niece refuses to give him a ride to the liquor store, so he responds rationally and sets fire to her home [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » Meh: U.S.-based blogger gets hacked. WTFark: To death [Scary]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The 11 most useless and misleading infographics on the internet. Wait, this list is wrong, and I have a handy chart to show you why [Interesting]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » FCC ushers in a new era of federal lawsuits [Interesting]
[link] [410 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Christ Christie is giving up the New York Times for Lent. So take that or something [Silly]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » gatewayev700 says FML
Today, my mom told me she'd canceled my spring break trip to Europe for my 16th birthday. Why? So I could get my wisdom teeth pulled 2 months early. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oregon police stumped after entire house disappears: "This isn't a motor home, this isn't a mobile home, this isn't a home on wheels, it was on a foundation" (pics) [Weird]
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Fark.com RSS » Man violates restraining order 114 times – in 3 days [Scary]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Fast Facts About Llamas
ABC15, via Twitter This afternoon, two llamas escaped from a mobile petting zoo and led authorities on a sometimes high-speed, sometimes moseying chase through Sun City, Ariz., for nearly an hour. Here are a few fun facts about the camelids. 1. According to legend, the Spaniards, who had never seen llamas before, kept asking what they were called (“¿Cómo se llama?”)—and … [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Madonna Pulled Off Stage By Too-Tight Armani Matador Cape
Madonna tumbled off stage at last night’s BRIT Awards when a backup dancer pulled on her Armani matador cape, which was supposed to come off but was tied too tightly. 
[Link]
The Onion » American Voices: KFC Introduces Edible Coffee Cups In The U.K.
KFC locations in the U.K. have introduced edible coffee cups called Scoff-ee cups that are “wrapped in sugar paper and lined with a layer of glorious white chocolate." What do you think? 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Have you ever wanted to show off your questionable parenting skills in public? Well, if so, these beer bottle baby bottles are perfect for you [PSA]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: The time is nearly here when we all get to pretend we're Irish. Corned beef, potatoes, and green beer aside, what do you cook when delving into Irish food? Help get all the Farkers ready for something besides alcohol [Interestin
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What the FCC's Net Neutrality Decision Means
Net Neutrality supporters are happy; broadband providers, deregulators, and Congressional Republicans are not. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's giant hole opens up and swallows buildings is brought to you by St. Petersburg. Bonus – it swallowed a building called 'The Underground' [Florida]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Remarkable Ultrasound Images
It has become commonplace for pregnant women to undergo ultrasonography, or medical sonography, to check the physical health and progress of their unborn baby. A side benefit of sonography is the ability to detect the baby’s sex before birth. And the images, called sonograms or ultrasounds, become a child’s first baby picture. These are often shared with family, friends, and … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Inside the World's Worst Asylum
Take a journey inside the horrible history of the world’s most notorious mental asylum. * How has Stephen Hawking been living with ALS for more than five decades, despite the typical patient passing within a few years? Like a lot of things with Hawking, it leaves you wondering how he can do that. * Rewrite your understanding of history with … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists discover that hippos did not, in fact, have relations with pigs [Amusing]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this steamy entrance [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Once-Loyal Enabler Betrays Man By Suggesting Therapy
ANN ARBOR, MI—After years of faithfully supporting every bad decision he made, a formerly dependable enabler of local man Ken Vatter reportedly betrayed him Thursday by casually suggesting he see a therapist about his problems. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Belfast man convicted of assaulting neighbor with his … enormous beer gut? [Strange]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How a teenage girl goes from listening to Coldplay and reading Harry Potter to joining ISIS. Coldplay, not even once [Interesting]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Launch a Massive Ship Sideways off the Dock
Buoyancy in action! [Link]
The Onion » Arne Duncan Spends Visit To Local Elementary School Looking At UFO Books In Library
WASHINGTON—Saying the cabinet official could be heard periodically muttering exclamations of surprise and amazement, sources at Harriet Tubman Elementary School told reporters that Education Secretary Arne Duncan spent the entirety of his visit Thur… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kelso, Washington cops issue APB for dangerous parolee who gutshot his roommate with a .45, or a new alien from the next "Star Trek" film. Your pick [Strange]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Interacial llamas on the llamb, llasoed by llawmen. Thanks, Ollama [Hero]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family style drug arrests are good for the holidays because it brings everyone together [Dumbass]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Delicious Recipes Made With Invasive Species
Yossy Arefi, via Food52 Wanna help the environment? Grab some plates. In this globalized era, invasive organisms have become a threat that demands the attention of every country on earth. Luckily, many transplanted species just happen to make for good eating—so, in honor of National Invasive Species Awareness Week, we’ve gathered 11 awesome recipes that will help you bite back … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas sportscaster rips parents of racist teens who held up "white power" signs at basketball game [Hero]
[link] [220 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Toddler playing peek-a-boo suddenly falls over, so her father does the only logical thing and blames a ghost (with spooky video) [Unlikely]
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The Onion » Catching Up On 2 Seasons Of ‘House Of Cards’ Depressingly Manageable
SOMERVILLE, MA—Noting that he only needs to watch 26 full episodes of the political drama, local man Ben Atwell revealed Thursday that catching up on the previous two seasons of the Netflix show House Of Cards should be depressingly manageable. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Almonds
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Fark.com RSS » Death metal Mary Poppins is Supercalifragilistic explodidocious [Strange]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Turn, Turn, Turn
Image: Flickr The Hoover Dam contains a star map depicting the sky of the Northern Hemisphere as it appeared at the moment that Franklin Roosevelt dedicated the dam. Artist Oskar Hansen imagined that the massive structure might outlive our civilization, and that the map could help future astronomers to calculate the date of its creation. The center star on the map, … [Link]
Mental Floss » 'The Imitation Game' Codebreakers Also Created Brilliant Palindromes
The Bletchley Park codebreakers depicted in the film The Imitation Game (this year’s Oscar winner for Best Adapted Screenplay) worked around the clock to crack the secret of Nazi communications during World War II, but they weren’t all about work. They also used their skills for play. Mark Saltveit, World Palindrome Champion and editor of The Palindromist Magazine, has spent … [Link]
The Onion » Bench Players Given Some Time In First Quarter Of Game Against Knicks
BOSTON—Stressing that it was a good opportunity for younger members of the team to get some valuable experience, Boston Celtics head coach Brad Stevens reportedly removed his starters and put in bench players during the first quarter of Wednesday ni… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are 'No Dalek' signs on a Luton busway the most pointless notices ever? Bonus: does this tagline break the question-mark-means-no rule? [Amusing]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Authorities Demolish Capitol Building That Was Site Of Gruesome 113th Congressional Session
WASHINGTON—Saying this was an important first step in helping their community heal, local authorities in Washington, D.C. 
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Fark.com RSS » South Korean condom stock surges after court says adultery not a crime [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » You call it "radioactive cesium," I call it "pre-seasoning the fish." We'll agree to disagree [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » New bill would allow Tennessee teens to sip – but not swallow – beer, pretty much encapsulating the agony and ecstacy of adolescence [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » Connecticut will restore highway tolls now that modern toll collection technology comes with bonus vehicle tracking [PSA]
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The Onion » Study: Boyfriends Who Aren’t Speaking Are Thinking About Ending Relationship 90% Of Time
CHAPEL HILL, NC—Confirming that the average boyfriend’s thoughts immediately turn to the subject during any period of silence, a study released Thursday by the University of North Carolina found that whenever a boyfriend isn’t speaking, … 
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Fark.com RSS » Venezuela is trying to annul a $1.6B judgement against them so they don't have to pay Exxon for all of the stuff they stole from Exxon when Chavez nationalized everything [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » "I swear officer, those big hooters I saw is the reason why I crashed" [Amusing]
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FMyLife » showerlover says FML
Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A married TV presenter who took a mystery blonde stranger to a sauna then kissed her passed out and woke up without his testicles" [Scary]
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Overheard In The Office » As Long as It’s Not the Same Date as Halloween Again
Woman #1: What day is Thanksgiving on this year?
Woman #2: I don’t know – Thursday or Friday? Wal-mart
Springfield, Missouri Overheard by: Jennifer Gerboth Blonde cashier: Wow! Thanksgiving is on a Thursday this year!Lake Travis, TexasOverheard by: Frostwalrus [Link]
Overheard In The Office » This Is How She Ends Every Conversation
Jewish boss: By the time we’re done, we will convert you.Catholic assistant: Ummm, Jesus is the Messiah. Goodbye.Toronto, Ontario
CanadiaOverheard by: intern [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We're Still Living Under the Same Roofie
Cubicle dweller on phone: Nah, she's not been banging me very much. I think I'm banging her more than she's banging me.Conway, Arkansas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Didn’t You See Me Roll That Drunk in the Parking Lot?
10-year-old boy to mom: 63 dollars? Do you have that kind of cash?Disneyland entrance gates
Anaheim, CaliforniaOverheard by: amused disney worker [Link]
Overheard In The Office » As Required by the Laws of This State, I Hereby Sentence You to 6 Months of the History Channel
Blonde: What’s your last name?Brunette: Monroe.Blonde: Oh! Are you related to Marilyn Monroe?Brunette: No, but I am related to the president.Blonde: George Bush?? No way!60 Wall Street
New York, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 12PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: Okay, that’s it.
Co-worker #2: What? Tell me that song doesn’t make you want to laugh.
Co-worker #1: It makes me want to shoot someone, then laugh. 270 South Flower Street
Burbank, California Overheard by: Eric Johnson [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NY to game-preserve owner: you have to kill all your boars in case they get loose, but if they get loose you can't kill them [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » Feel like you're not making any money off your YouTube videos? Don't worry, neither is Google [Unlikely]
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Fark.com RSS » Half the students in NYC speak a language other than English at home, not counting everyone in Brooklyn who technically speak English but still need an interpreter [Interesting]
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Overheard In The Office » Is This Quote Any Good? Discuss.
Manager: How we doin'?Sales rep: Good!Manager: Good.Sales rep: Sales are good.Manager: Good!Chesapeake, VirginiaOverheard by: Project Manager [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: U.K. To Allow 3-Parent Babies
The British Parliament has approved a new IVF technique that uses the process of mitochondrial transfer to produce a baby with the DNA of a father and two mothers, which would allow women with certain genetic mutations to have children. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 21 Things You Might Not Know About ‘House of Cards’
In the hit series House of Cards, cutthroat politician Francis Underwood (Kevin Spacey) makes sure he’s always at least one move ahead of his colleagues. As the show makes its return to Netflix on February 27th, we’ve rounded up some little-known facts about the show that even Frank might be surprised to learn. 1. IT’S BASED ON A BRITISH MINISERIES. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Okay. Mr. Happy Lollipop Man, maybe the children are JUST a little freaked out by you NOW. Please stay away from the schools [Weird]
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Fark.com RSS » Thanks to vandals, people in northern Arizona lost their internet and cell phone services for several hours. Amazingly, nobody perished [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Fish, Yemana, Wojo outraged as NYC proposes that cops stop doing their paperwork on typewriters and quit using phrases like "All right, Clancy – take the boys and surround the house" [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » It's been almost two years since Pope Benedict resigned to go spend more time with the Empire. Time to find out what became of him [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Jihadi "John" identified, which clears up the mystery of how ISIS has been making money [Interesting]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Report: Only 40% Of Celebrities End Up Marrying Their Stalkers
LOS ANGELES—Revealing that the success of such relationships is far less certain than typically assumed, a report released Wednesday by UCLA’s Department of Sociology found that only 40 percent of celebrities ultimately end up marrying their s… 
[Link]
The Onion » Bouncer Instructed Not To Let People Like Himself In
COLUMBUS, OH—In an effort to maintain a peaceful and enjoyable atmosphere for guests at local nightclub Zenith, bouncer Anthony Russo was given strict instructions Wednesday not to let people like himself in. 
[Link]
The Onion » Closed Captioning Accuracy Drops To 14% During ‘Inside The NBA’
Closed Captioning Accuracy Drops To 14% During ‘Inside The NBA’ 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Can Men Lactate?
Earlier this month, the United States Supreme Court declined to hear a sex discrimination case from an Iowa woman who wanted to pump milk at work. The Court’s reasoning? It’s not sexist to tell women they can’t lactate at work because men can also lactate. Which…what? Is it really possible for men to lactate? Can it happen naturally? As it … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » British soldier becomes first non-posthumous recipient of the Victoria Cross for the war in Afghanistan after charging in under fire twice to save a wounded USMC captain, despite being weighed down by his giant brass balls [Hero]
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Overheard In The Office » Stay-At-Home Moms and Dads Tend to Backslide on the Basics
Coworker on phone: Hi, monkey! (pause) What did you do? (pause) You made poop on the potty? That's great!Westminster, ColoradoOverheard by: Just Taking A Walk [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This is it, folks. The big day. Will Tom Wheeler get new rules passed to ensure net neutrality? Will he be nothing but a two-timing dingo? Will Fark's connection get slowed down due to our support for net neutrality? Your FCC rule vote thread [Fo
[link] [881 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ManchotDesAndes says FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Kennedy Space Center groundbreaking [Photoshop]
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Fark.com RSS » Linguistic experts consider dumbing down the English language to make spelling easier for Fark submitters [Spiffy]
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Overheard In The Office » That's What You Said About Little Doggies in Sweaters.
Doctor: The homeless people know what they are doing wearing more than one coat…Hospital
Little Rock, Arkansas [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Smart Ways to Make Your Data More Secure
Isn’t technology magical? With a few clicks of a button or swipes of a screen, you can shop, bank, send mail, and file your taxes. But alas, lurking behind your favorite online shops attempting to sneak a peek at your personal emails are nasty scammers and hackers who want to get ahold of your private information. Here are 11 shrewd … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Elusive street artist Banksy emerges in Gaza, paints kittens, epic facepalms for the region then escapes in underground tunnels [Interesting]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cross-eyed man attacked by gang members for looking at them funny [Strange]
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Weird Universe » Wearable Tomato Project
This has gotten quite a bit of attention from the Internet. But just in case some of you haven't seen it, this is the "Tomatan" — the end result of the "wearable tomato project" sponsored by a Japanese vegetable juice company to promote the idea that tomatoes are good for you and would be great food-on-the-go for runners.
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Fark.com RSS » Problem: How to make your toddler feel special even if she's born with large birthmark on her leg? Solution: Both parents get a leg tattoo of the the same large birthmark. See? That was simple [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » Donald Keough, former president and most influential COO in the history of Coca-Cola dies at age 88, is survived by six children, 18 grandchildren, but everyone just called him "Pop" [Sad]
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Weird Universe » The First Dog Whisperer
Much iconography that was once taken for granted as part of our culture now means nothing to people. Does any youth of today understand that a Napolean hat = crazy? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan warns of "imminent attacks." Or as Americans living in Kabul call that, "Tuesday" [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » You're not going to believe this, but Bill O'Reilly didn't really witness a bunch of nuns getting shot in the back of the head [CSB]
[link] [205 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dwarf planet Ceres has not one but two aliens who obviously have forgotten to turn their lights off when they're sleeping [Strange]
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Mental Floss » Almonds
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Mental Floss » Get Ready to Get Drunk With Some Owls
Now that cat cafes are so passé, animal lovers are looking for the next animal and drink combination. Trendy London citizens need look no further than Soho for their next fix—soon, a new pop-up bar featuring owls will be opening! Annie the Owl and friends will be taking over a Soho bar from March 19 to 25, 8:30 p.m. until … [Link]
FMyLife » frediqqq says FML
Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML [Link]
FMyLife » emo_barbie says FML
Today, I talked myself out of suicide. Then my mom talked me right back into it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » failuretolaunch2 says FML
Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Close Up with a Lava Crater
Flying drones over the lava lake at Ambrym’s Marum Crater. Just getting close enough to control the drone took real guts -and special protective clothing.
*
This man and his owl prove best friends come in all shapes and sizes. I don’t know if you can litter train an owl, but you certainly would have no more rodent problem.
*
Godzilla … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well, it looks like we can scratch Spain off the Fark party destination list [Stupid]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
GraphJam » Untitled
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: computers , india , location , map , problem , tech support , technology Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » They Also Learn Not to Thieve
Graph by: tengaps Tagged: cartoons , dora the explorer , Pie Chart , spanish Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Should Be Called a 'Monopolthon'
Graph by: wfm975 Tagged: board games , Line Graph , marathon , monopoly Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » But Never the Orange Superhero
Graph by: supremomaximo Tagged: Fantastic Four , john carpenter , marriage , Pie Chart , The Thing , wife Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: Terranstar Tagged: Bar Graph , dread , goodbye summer , school , unrealistic expectations Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Cell Phone's Ringer Status when You Lose It
LoL by: Unknown Tagged: call , cell phone , lose , Ringer , silent , status , vibrate Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Let's See, If That One is Seventy-Five Cents…
Graph by: Nathan138 Tagged: decisions , hunger , Pie Chart , vending machine Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Hint Hint, You're Boring
Graph by: 1gamerkid111 Tagged: boring , mhmm , Pie Chart , responding , talking Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Location of Gum at School
LoL by: Unknown Tagged: chew , desk , gum , school Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Won't You Be My Sweater?
Graph by: (via founditemclothing.com) Tagged: famous , Mister Rogers , sweater Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » After Death
Graph by: Popolo Tagged: Death , Pie Chart , reincarnation , religion , respawn , video games Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Holy Venn Diagrams!
Submitted by: (via Stephen Wildish) Tagged: bat , batman , venn diagram , woman , Wombat Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Uses of a Graphing Calculator
Graph by: brandon.w365 Tagged: adding , calculator , class , dividing , equations , games , graphing , graphing calculator , math , multiplying , Pie Chart , school , subtracting Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » If Only They Had, Like, Made It Into a Show, or Something
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: jersey shore , reading is dumb , snookis-book , tv shows , venn diagram Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » The Horror
Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: civil rights , controversy , gay marriage , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Toddler's Brain: Enter if You Dare
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , children , toddler Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Your Number One Source for News You Can Joke About
Graph by: Narthin Tagged: jokes , memebase , news , Pie Chart , timely Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » When cops are..
LoL by: Chairman__meow Tagged: man stuff , police , sting , TV , violence Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Id Est
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: FAIL , grammar , id est , latin , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » New Years Resolutions
LoL by: Cranitator Tagged: exercise , fitness , resolutions Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Time Spent Outside in the Snow by Age
LoL by: Unknown Tagged: age , outside , snow , winter Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: vision12 Tagged: dont-touch-me , facebook , people-dont-listen , Pie Chart , poke , problem , rebellious nature Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Yeah
Graph by: (via catfacemeowmers.tumblr.com) Tagged: artist , creativity , eating , inspiration , internet , Pie Chart , sleeping , work Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: drumstik752 Tagged: capslock , instructions , Pie Chart , school , teachers , underline , words Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Forget the "Social Pyramid"
Graph by: lollol Tagged: hipster , nerd , noob , pyramid , social Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Total amount of content in textbook Amount of textbook actually covered in school Textbook Content Coverage
Graph by: bboyProdiG Tagged: content , coverage , school , textbook , venn diagram Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Replotted: It's Everywhere
Submitted by: jakeface Tagged: Pie Chart , pron , replotted Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Infographic: 600 Hanna-Barbera Characters
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cartoons , chart art , classic , hanna barbera , infographic , retro Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » They're Used Outside of Arts and Crafts?
Graph by: furrybrats2 Tagged: arts and crafts , kids , Pie Chart , pipes , toys Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Scariness of Horror Movie
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bed , horror , movies , scared , scary Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Fundamental Differences
LoL by: Unknown Tagged: bathrooms , boyfriend , class , food , girlfriend , morning , p33n , school , sleep , work Share on Facebook
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Fark.com RSS » Monk snowball fight. Your day is now complete [Silly]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Relax, your eyelashes are the perfect length. HERE COMES THE SCIENCE [Interesting]
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FMyLife » natashamilan says FML
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Two Unknown Cézanne Sketches Found on the Back of Well-Known Watercolors
Pictures from The Barnes Foundation, via The History Blog The brown paper often found on the back of old artwork is highly acidic, and can ruin priceless paintings if that acidity seeps into the paper upon which the work is done. Naturally, conservationists work to address this. But when The Barnes Foundation of Philadelphia sent five watercolors by Paul Cézanne—as … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some people are for tighter immigration rules. Others are against it. This guy is still on the fence [Fail]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Naming Change
When Canada introduced its 1-dollar coin in 1987, it became known as the “loonie” for the loon on its back. 
When the Royal Canadian Mint introduced the 2-dollar coin in 1996, Canadians tried hard to find a comparable nickname. Though “toonie” or “twoonie” eventually won out, the list of failed suggestions included “doubloonie,” “doozie,” and the charming “moonie.” Why moonie? … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » At Least, That’s What I Tell Him
Woman #1: Don’t worry. If he stops, it will be fine. Woman #2: Yeah, and if he doesn’t stop, my husband is very fertile.Carpenter Avenue
Kingsford, MichiganOverheard by: Jami [Link]
Overheard In The Office » As I Explain in Painstaking Detail to All Of My Dates
IT director: You have to think of an org chart as a sort of hierarchy.Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …And Kindly Zip Up Your Pants.
VP, introducing new hire at annual opening community meeting: And Tina* here really likes big equipment! (faculty & staff laugh) Well, she used to work for Caterpillar.President: Sit down, Neal*.Greensboro, North Carolina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Carmen Miranda's Descendents Have Always Faced Discrimination
Maintenance grunt: I can't take you seriously with that hat.Maintenance monkey: This hat? This hat's the shit, man. It was my grandma's.Collegeville, Pennsylvania [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Revenge porn douchebag Craig Brittain doesn't want the Internet to tell you that Craig Brittain's douchy revenge porn site was shut down by the FTC. Craig Brittain [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 512: "Frozen" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Fuck says FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …According to This Flow Chart.
IT guy to another: There's no transitive properties of rock 'n' roll.Philadelphia, Pennsylvania [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sea levels along the Northeast coast rose nearly 4 inches over two centuries. Wait, scratch that. Two YEARS [Scary]
[link] [209 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Britain's first insect-only restaurant will serve bug burgers and cricket kebabs rather than just slipping them into the food as unannounced protein [Weird]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Craft brewers increasingly threaten to file lawsuits against one another over trademark violations of their treasured quirky beer names. Ironically, at least 45 different American breweries use "hipster" to name their beer [Ironic]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » World's first flaming burger is made with six types of hot chillis and smothered in hot sauce before being set on fire at the table – and you have to sign a waiver to eat it [Cool]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cornell researchers determine that your best chance of surviving a zombie outbreak is to head to the Rockies. M-O-O-N, that spells Rockies [Amusing]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker: My fiance and I are going to LA this weekend, and I’m trying to lose a pound or two before then so my friends don’t think I’m pregnant. 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Modern science solves historical murder mysteries over a century later. Still no solved case for JFK assassination [Interesting]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Everyone's obsessed with Girl Scout cookies — and most of the year you can't feed the craving.That's about to change with the first-ever Girl Scouts Cookie Oven, allowing avid Thin Mint and Samoa lovers to recreate their favorite co
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Renowned astrophysicist has determined that there is no life anywhere other than Earth… and space travel is just a waste of time and money [Dumbass]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'National Lampoon’s European Vacation'
Pack up the family truckster and head out for some family fun with the Griswolds! Here are a few facts we learned about their European Vacation. 1. IT’S SOLELY A GRISWOLD FAMILY AFFAIR European Vacation is the only movie in the Vacation series that doesn’t feature Randy Quaid’s Cousin Eddie character and his family. 2. WALLEY WORLD MAKES AN APPEARANCE … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And You Didn't Take a Sick Day?
Paralegal: I fell in love with Edward. It killed me that he left Bella. Killed me.Austin, Texas [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know the weather's bad when Georgia postpones an execution due to inclement weather [Followup]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I suggest "that big building with all the books and comfy chairs" [Dumbass]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Where to Begin?
Assistant director: So it snowed?! Was it cold?Melbourne
AustraliaOverheard by: confused but amused [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know that crap they put in food so it won't spoil? Turns out it spoils intestines instead. Your intestines, in fact [Interesting]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this horn observer [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » KFC has unveiled the UK's first edible coffee cups – made from heat-resistant white chocolate [Spiffy]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week
Every week I write about the most interesting new comics hitting comic shops, bookstores, digital, and the web. Feel free to comment below if there's a comic you've read recently that you want to talk about or an upcoming comic that you'd like me to consider highlighting. 1. Spider-Gwen #1 By Jason Latour, Robbi Rodriguez and Rico Renzi
Marvel Comics … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Heard You Enjoy the Broadband
Male cube dweller: Seth finally drilled my hole last night. Female cube dweller: What? Male cube dweller: Seth finally drilled a hole in my wall, so I can have cable. Female cube dweller: That sound better.Minneapolis, MinnesotaOverheard by: greasymittens [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People can live longer or people can have pensions, but not both. Sorry [Obvious]
[link] [143 comments] [Link]
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