John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » novaguy says FML

Tuesday 24 February 23:45:52 UTC 2015

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soon it could be good to be one of God's Chosen People residing in New York State if Kosher marijuana comes to town for medicinal use. Mazel tov [Spiffy]

Tuesday 24 February 23:30:37 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Odd Jobs of Yesteryear

Tuesday 24 February 23:30:00 UTC 2015

These are some of the more obscure and decidedly unglamorous professions listed in old English censuses and other records. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » What Can I say, it Gets his Wife hot

Tuesday 24 February 23:13:44 UTC 2015

Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Czech, please [Scary]

Tuesday 24 February 23:04:04 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 51 injured, 4 critically in commuter rail collision with tractor trailer on the Michael Bay line north of Los Angeles [Scary]

Tuesday 24 February 22:47:35 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's worse than driving a van while drunk, plowing into a crowd at religious gathering, killing 3 and causing numerous injuries? How about doing it while on duty in a police van? [Fail]

Tuesday 24 February 22:42:55 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch Guitar Strings Wiggle…from Inside the Guitar

Tuesday 24 February 22:37:00 UTC 2015

From our file of "fun tricks you can do with a camera phone." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man steals five tarantulas from homeowner, is busted when he tries to sell them to a pet store. He should have used the web [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 February 22:31:53 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch a Time-Lapse of an $8 Million Dollhouse Being Put Back Together

Tuesday 24 February 22:30:00 UTC 2015

The Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago recently completed a 9-month conservation of its Fairy Castle, an elaborate dollhouse created by silent film star Colleen Moore and donated to the museum in 1949. The Fairy Castle was built with a plumbing and electrical system—the bathtubs have real running water, the chandeliers light—and filled with collected and custom made exquisite … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fifty Shades of … safewords are important [Asinine]

Tuesday 24 February 22:27:29 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » London hipsters proclaim cereal cafes too mainstream, are now taking their talents to pop-up owl bars. "The owls have been trained to interact with the public, who will be joined by professional falconers during the event" [Ironic]

Tuesday 24 February 22:12:27 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Leaving Pawnee

Tuesday 24 February 22:00:00 UTC 2015

In honor of the series finale tonight, let's take a look at an oral history of Leslie Knope, Ron Swanson, Andy Dwyer, Jerry/Larry/Terry/Gary and the rest of the characters on Parks and Recreation. * Speaking of Chris Pratt: Will he be the new Indiana Jones? * California is in a drought. New England is under a massive amount of snow. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 29-year-old cat in Sweden is thought to be world's oldest. Attributes her long life to heavy cream, cat nip, and naps [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 February 21:35:02 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The new Saudi king is making it reign [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 February 21:21:48 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [77 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Jameis Winston Doesn’t Rule Out Playing Baseball In Prison

Tuesday 24 February 21:16:00 UTC 2015

TAMPA, FL—Speaking to reporters Tuesday about potentially continuing as a two-sport athlete after college, Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston refused to rule out the possibility of someday playing baseball in prison.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this tomato eater [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 February 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 February 20:50:58 UTC 2015

Today, my fiance and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Gerbils Were Actual Cause Of Black Plague

Tuesday 24 February 20:42:41 UTC 2015

Challenging the widespread belief that the Black Plague of medieval Europe was spread by rats covered in disease-carrying fleas, a new study has found that the outbreak was more likely caused by flea-ridden gerbils.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Samples of Authentic Viking Graffiti

Tuesday 24 February 20:30:11 UTC 2015

Viking erotica at its finest! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Winston Churchill said he had nothing to offer but "blood, toil, tears and sweat". Well, one of them is now up for auction [Weird]

Tuesday 24 February 20:22:48 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [37 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Raytheon CEO Sends Obama Another Article About Mounting Unrest In Libya

Tuesday 24 February 20:20:00 UTC 2015

WALTHAM, MA—Using the subject heading “you should definitely check this out,” Thomas A.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Fascinating Flamingo Facts

Tuesday 24 February 20:13:51 UTC 2015

Photograph by Pedros Szekely. Flamingos are a familiar sight even to those who have never seen one in real life. The tropical wading birds have long legs with backward-bending knees, long curvy necks, and most noticeably, they are pink. We can admire flamingos or laugh at them (and often both), so we may as well learn something about them. 1. … [Link]

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 February 19:50:02 UTC 2015

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nineteen. Nineteen manatees stuck in a drain pipe. Ah ah ah [Scary]

Tuesday 24 February 19:48:09 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drugs now "cheaper than a pint of beer." Is this a great time to be alive or what? [Spiffy]

Tuesday 24 February 19:45:36 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A selection of fish-attracting prototypes" [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 February 19:37:53 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After being exonerated in the deaths of millions of people, rats look for a marketing team to get their good name back. Raturday, anyone? [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 February 19:17:08 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is this you? 'Impulsivity, inattention, and/or executive dysregulation, such as high distractibility, impulsive decision making, poor time management, difficulty following directions, etc.' Congratulations, you are qualified to be an Edison f

Tuesday 24 February 19:10:39 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Goin' Coconuts

Tuesday 24 February 19:08:58 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Prudence: My boss decided to reward all the women in the office with a trip to the movies. Instead of making us suffer through American Sniper, he made us suffer Fifty Shades of Grey. Is this sexual harassment or just stupidity? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 February 19:02:32 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [208 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How the Olinguito Became Recognized as a New Species

Tuesday 24 February 19:00:00 UTC 2015

Sometimes, scientists find new species as they tromp through forest and jungles out in the field. But quite often, they also find new species closer to home—in the collections that are already in their museums. And that's exactly what happened with the olinguito. In 2013, this small member of the raccoon family became the first new carnivorous mammal species discovered … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Irish people have trouble spelling 'and all' and it's getting some people anal [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 February 18:30:00 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Tuesday 24 February 18:19:40 UTC 2015

zumbooruk
n. a small cannon fired from the back of a camel [Link]

FMyLife » O says FML

Tuesday 24 February 18:19:24 UTC 2015

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lesson learned, never take a coffee break while on the job … a bank job [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 February 17:32:35 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who had sex with mailbox sent to dead letter office [Strange]

Tuesday 24 February 17:24:12 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [43 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Starbucks To End CD Sales

Tuesday 24 February 17:16:00 UTC 2015

Starbucks announced this week that after 15 years of selling CDs from popular artists in stores, the company will stop stocking them and by March will only sell digital albums on its website.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Accident cuts cheese truck in half on silent but deadly stretch of road [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 February 17:08:30 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Authors Who Regretted The Success of Their Work

Tuesday 24 February 17:00:00 UTC 2015

These authors found that success wasn't all it was cracked up to be—and sometimes even regretted writing their books in the first place. 1. Lewis Carroll In 1891, Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass author Lewis Carroll—who was born Charles Lutwidge Dodgson—wrote a letter to his friend Anne Symonds about the pitfalls of fame. "All of that sort … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » He's Lucky a Car Didn't Skid on It – Then It Could Have Become a Felony

Tuesday 24 February 16:52:00 UTC 2015

Crazy drone: Where do I go for misdemeanors?Clerk: Down the hall to the right.Crazy drone: I work… I work in construction. There ain't no bathroom out there so I took a dump in the parking lot. Clerk: Huh?Crazy drone: I guess that wasn't okay.Portland, Oregon [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Unauthorized Biography

Tuesday 24 February 16:51:59 UTC 2015

Bookstore clerk: Hehe, there’s a book called The Idiot?Barnes & Noble
Emeryville, California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Tim Is the Butt Of Many Office Jokes.

Tuesday 24 February 16:51:58 UTC 2015

Coworker: What do you need, Tim?
Tim: A reliable tight end. Minneapolis, Minnesota [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Only Case in New York

Tuesday 24 February 16:51:53 UTC 2015

Somber attorney on phone: I’ve got some very bad news… I just got off the phone with the vet, and little Bobo’s sick… He’s got a case of bad attitude. That’s right, a bad attitude.Empire State Building
New York, New YorkOverheard by: Guy Smiley [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM Print Termination Letter

Tuesday 24 February 16:51:52 UTC 2015

Ex-employee: I just got let go.
Employee: Really? What did they say?
Ex-employee: “Bye.” 4400 Post Oak Parkway
Houston, Texas [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Journalists catch smarmy "GOP Generation Y" congressman misspending campaign funds in hilariously Millennial ways. When questioned about it, he literally responds, "Haters gonna hate" [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 February 16:49:05 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [364 comments] [Link]

The Onion » College Freshman From Florida Has Never Seen People Complain About Snow For 5 Months Before

Tuesday 24 February 16:49:00 UTC 2015

ITHACA, NY—Marveling at how different winter is in the Northeast compared to her hometown in Florida, Ithaca College freshman Emilie Sherman told reporters Tuesday that this was the very first time she had ever seen people complain about snow for fi…
[Link]

The Onion » Death Row Inmate Dies Of Natural Causes 3 Days Into Execution

Tuesday 24 February 16:48:00 UTC 2015

MCALESTER, OK—Calling it an “unfortunate incident,” Oklahoma Department of Corrections officials confirmed that convicted murderer and death row inmate Harrison Garber, 57, died of natural causes three days into his lethal injection Tues…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » He's still not dead. Happy 94th Birthday to Abe Vigoda [Cool]

Tuesday 24 February 16:36:49 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bill O'Reilly demands CBS release video of Argentina protests that support his claims. CBS does. You can guess where this is going [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 February 16:33:07 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [289 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wish you had a professor tell you to plagiarize your next paper without penalty? [Strange]

Tuesday 24 February 16:17:25 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Not the Erotic Candy Store, Like Last Year

Tuesday 24 February 16:11:08 UTC 2015

HR woman at benefits meeting: If you fill out this online survey you will receive a $50 gift card.Woman employee: So what's the gift card good for?HR woman: It's good for… Dicks…(another woman employee starts laughing out loud)HR woman: I meant “Dick's Sporting Goods.”Cincinnati, OhioOverheard by: Guy in the crowd [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 24, 2015

Tuesday 24 February 15:52:00 UTC 2015

This is a time of great uncertainty for you, but that doesn't mean the odds of drawing to an inside straight will improve at all.
[Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 24, 2014

Tuesday 24 February 15:52:00 UTC 2015

This is a time of great uncertainty for you, but that doesn't mean the odds of drawing to an inside straight will improve at all.
[Link]

The Onion » Mom Could Have Used Few More Days To Self Before Missing Daughter Returned

Tuesday 24 February 15:50:00 UTC 2015

BEDFORD, VA—Admitting she had not had any real alone time in years, local mother Terri Pope told reporters Tuesday that she could have used a few more days to herself before being reunited with her missing daughter, Allison.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » And exactly how would you like to pay your bar tab, sir? "I got a rock" [Florida]

Tuesday 24 February 15:35:30 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Who Invented the Squeegee?

Tuesday 24 February 15:30:00 UTC 2015

The name "squeegee" dates back to the Middle Ages, when fishermen used a wooden device with a wide blade of some sort on one end that was called a squilgee to scrape the debris of their profession off of boat decks. In Moby Dick, Herman Melville makes reference to a tool that “operates like a leathern squilgee." In the early … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » USGS announces Oklahoma's earthquakes caused by wastewater injection, clears shakeweight users [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 February 15:26:13 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Owners of floating strip club charged with improper disposal of human waste." Subby needs a shot of penicillin after typing that headline [Sick]

Tuesday 24 February 15:18:41 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » To What Extent Are You Her?

Tuesday 24 February 15:08:15 UTC 2015

Old, crazy worker lady: Hey, what department do you work in?New girl: I work in XYZ department*.Old, crazy worker lady: Oh, what do you do there?New girl: I’m an assistant.Old, crazy worker lady: Oh, you’re a lawyer?New girl: No, I’m an assistant. My name’s Erin Murray*.Old, crazy worker lady: Oh, Erin Murray! Oh, I know her — I’m a big fan … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're going to beat your child with a belt and send her to school in a handwritten shirt shaming her for bad grades, you might want to at least use proper spelling and grammar on the shirt [Florida]

Tuesday 24 February 14:46:18 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boston city council proposes alcohol tax. Get ready to dump your beer into the harbor [PSA]

Tuesday 24 February 14:18:27 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [65 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sammy18f says FML

Tuesday 24 February 14:09:30 UTC 2015

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 12PM Lunch

Tuesday 24 February 14:06:26 UTC 2015

Female manager: Where did you eat?
Male manager: My guilty secret…McDonald’s!
Female manager: Oh. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…I actually don’t know anybody who’s eaten at a McDonald’s. 1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this man's vice [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 February 14:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Unbelievable Advances in Gaming Technology

Tuesday 24 February 14:00:00 UTC 2015

Video games have come a long way since they crossed into the mainstream in the 1980s, but some amazing advances in their tech have made the future of gaming even brighter. Here are a few examples. 1. Facial Recognition 3D scanning and facial recognition technology allows systems to actually create your likeness in the gaming world (so you can create … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Employer easily cracks case after employees butt-dial him and loudly discuss their ingenious plan to rob workplace [Florida]

Tuesday 24 February 13:53:17 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Ouija Board Inheritance

Tuesday 24 February 13:30:26 UTC 2015

A follow-up to my Ouija board post of last week. This may be the only case of a Ouija board involved in an inheritance dispute.

When Mrs. Helen Dow Peck died in 1955, she left almost her entire estate to "John Gale Forbes," whom she met via Ouija board. Which is to say that John Gale Forbes was not a … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Is That Legal in Texas?

Tuesday 24 February 13:04:33 UTC 2015

Boss to underling: My backdoor needs a special screw. I need a backdoor screw. I gotta have a backdoor screw.Greenville, Texas [Link]

Mental Floss » Goin' Coconuts

Tuesday 24 February 12:52:23 UTC 2015

[Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #242

Tuesday 24 February 12:52:13 UTC 2015

From American Home for September 1966. [Link]

Mental Floss » Japan Now Has Fruity Eggs

Tuesday 24 February 12:30:00 UTC 2015

If you're looking for a fruity protein to enjoy for breakfast, look no further than the yuzutama egg. Named after the yuzu citrus fruit, the egg apparently tastes like a sour mandarin orange. The flowery-tasting fruit is very popular in Japan, and often used in desserts. "When you chew, there's this invigorating wave of yuzu aroma coupled with a refreshing … [Link]

FMyLife » MDoremis says FML

Tuesday 24 February 12:28:41 UTC 2015

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scary: New video from ISIS shows how they are training the next generation of terrorists. More scary: five-year-olds [Scary]

Tuesday 24 February 12:02:01 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [253 comments] [Link]

GraphJam » It's Called 'the Christmas Season' For a Reason

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:27 UTC 2015

When it's Winter in Cartoons Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cartoons , christmas , Pie Chart , season , winter Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Strange Facts About Our Feline Friends

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:24 UTC 2015

best of week Cats facts feline infographic pets strange Graph by: (via The Pets Central) Tagged: best of week , Cats , facts , feline , infographic , pets , strange Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Could It Be Both, in Different Universes?

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:22 UTC 2015

Graph by: lazylaces Tagged: best of week , Pie Chart , schrodinger , schrodingers-cat , science Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Many Species Of The Majestic Shark

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:21 UTC 2015

infographic,ocean,pretty ballerina,science,shark,vegan Graph by: Unknown Tagged: infographic , ocean , pretty ballerina , science , shark , vegan Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » How hot is that girl?

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:20 UTC 2015

first girl hot chick later minutes Graph by: Yosterkote Tagged: first , girl , hot chick , later , minutes Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Better Call My Voicemail

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:18 UTC 2015

appearances cell phone Pie Chart talking texting Graph by: Unknown Tagged: appearances , cell phone , Pie Chart , talking , texting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » This Crotch Rocket Will Totally Help Me Pick Up Chicks

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:17 UTC 2015

Graph by: maxystone (via www.ninjette.org) Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:16 UTC 2015

browser cache FAIL internet Pie Chart typo universal truth - 3976545536 Graph by: 8-bit_Zephyr Tagged: browser , cache , FAIL , internet , Pie Chart , typo , universal truth Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Hope That Wasn't What I Thought It Was

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:14 UTC 2015

It is dark and I'm barefoot. What will I step on? Graph by: tomnich77 Tagged: cat vomit , dark , legos , Pie Chart , stepping on things Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Dunno Guys, These Gingers Are Pretty Awesome

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:13 UTC 2015

famous,ginger,hair Maybe gingers really do have souls? Graph by: muench Tagged: famous , ginger , hair Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Also, Reloading Cause You Got Killed Twenty Times

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:10 UTC 2015

boss battle Pie Chart Skyrim video games - 5666472192 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: boss battle , Pie Chart , Skyrim , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » George Lucas: Acrotomophile?

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:09 UTC 2015

dismemberment light saber lukes-hand Pie Chart star wars Graph by: (via I Love Charts) Tagged: dismemberment , light saber , lukes-hand , Pie Chart , star wars Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Death Rolled by a Crocodile

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:05 UTC 2015

Graph by: wigga-pie Tagged: animals , australia , Death , poisonous , scary , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » "Like It or Unfriend It"

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:04 UTC 2015

america,facebook,history,timeline Confused? Failed History? It's okay, we have LOLs for that! Graph by: TheTrainerH (via www.nytimes.com) Tagged: america , facebook , history , timeline Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Two Scoops at the Bottom

Tuesday 24 February 11:29:00 UTC 2015

Bar Graph boxes cereal delicious raisin bran too much two scoops - 4516597504 Graph by: 246890 Tagged: Bar Graph , boxes , cereal , delicious , raisin bran , too much , two scoops Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » But Donnie Was My Favorite

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:59 UTC 2015

cartoons,donnie,nigel thornberry,Pie Chart,wild thornberrys Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cartoons , donnie , nigel thornberry , Pie Chart , wild thornberrys Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Replotted: Zomg, I Totally Read

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:58 UTC 2015

People Who Like Snooki People Who Read Books Why Snooki's Book Failed Busy Reading Twilight Graph by: Unknown Tagged: book , jersey shore , reading , snooki , twilight , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Hundred Acre Mental Facility

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:57 UTC 2015

disorders infographic mental disorders winnie the pooh - 4680036352 Graph by: battousai Tagged: disorders , infographic , mental disorders , winnie the pooh Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Most Frequently Used Feature

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:56 UTC 2015

brand new camera dropping feature phone Pie Chart snake Graph by: InABox Tagged: brand new , camera , dropping , feature , phone , Pie Chart , snake Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » SWAT hand signals

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:55 UTC 2015

hand signals Memes swat swat team - 5973655552 Quantifying Everything For Great Justice Submitted by: frank44mag Tagged: hand signals , Memes , swat , swat team Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I Can Has Summer Back?

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:54 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: back to school , cute , lolcats , yearbook Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » So Many Countless Hours Spent Playing Final Fantasy

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:52 UTC 2015

best of week,final fantasy,FPS,Line Graph,RPG,video games Graph by: (via Loldwell) Tagged: best of week , final fantasy , FPS , Line Graph , RPG , video games Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Built In Exercise!

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:50 UTC 2015

cold,cycle,flow chart,hot,sweater Graph by: MewCookie Tagged: cold , cycle , flow chart , hot , sweater Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » how acceptable speedos are

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:49 UTC 2015

acceptable not Pie Chart speedo Graph by: xybob Tagged: acceptable , not , Pie Chart , speedo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » FACT: Cupcakes Prevent Suicide

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:46 UTC 2015

Bar Graph,cupcake,Death,nom,snack,stats to prove anything Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , cupcake , Death , nom , snack , stats to prove anything Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Reasons I Mess Up During Guitar Hero

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:44 UTC 2015

Guitar Hero,technology,video game LoL by: Mythus Tagged: Guitar Hero , technology , video game Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » ARE YOU NOTICING MY ELATION!

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:43 UTC 2015

capital letters elation grammar happiness Pie Chart Graph by: Unknown Tagged: capital letters , elation , grammar , happiness , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Smartness Of Flies

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:42 UTC 2015

Bzzzzzz get out house fly Pie Chart shoo - 3818663424 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bzzzzzz , get out , house fly , Pie Chart , shoo Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » It's Gone Forever

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:41 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: lost , phones , Pie Chart , pocket , Ringer Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Wasting Any of It Would Be an Affront to God

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:40 UTC 2015

affront to god,best of week,delicioius,food,nutella,wasting Graph by: Unknown Tagged: affront to god , best of week , delicioius , food , nutella , wasting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Tuesday 24 February 11:28:39 UTC 2015

apocalypse Bar Graph fallout nuclear war video gams - 4009362176 Graph by: sivvus Tagged: apocalypse , Bar Graph , fallout , nuclear war , video gams Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Glorious Undersea Life

Tuesday 24 February 11:02:56 UTC 2015

This Undersea World Will Stop You In Your Tracks. Italian filmmaker Sandro Bocci recorded time-lapse video of the bizarre creatures of the deep.
*
Watch Sesame Street‘s Spot-on House of Cards Parody. Frank Underwolf battles the three pigs in House of Bricks.
*
Mission Impossible: The Raid on Cabanatuan. How more than 500 Allied POWs were liberated miles behind enemy … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Begun, the debt wars have [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 February 10:54:56 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [227 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, basically, ISIS is kinda like an episode of Workaholics [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 February 10:24:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School memorial for a teacher, gates with the inscription "He touched us all". Yes, apparently he did [Sick]

Tuesday 24 February 10:22:03 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New director of the VA regales his service in the Special Farces [Fail]

Tuesday 24 February 10:14:48 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » House fire started by a jar of Nutella, has no difficulty spreading [Strange]

Tuesday 24 February 10:09:58 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A toddler in Germany has died of measles. Good thing he wasn't vaccinated or something terrible might have happened to him [Fail]

Tuesday 24 February 10:05:51 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you can't get high while racing in the Iditarod, then what's the point? [Stupid]

Tuesday 24 February 10:02:44 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy working in parking lot man-hole parks truck to shield himself and places orange cones all around. Yet, still manages to get run over by driver, who won't be charged because it was on private property (with scary video) [Scary]

Tuesday 24 February 9:23:31 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kids taking sex-ed classes? Starting in the first grade? It's more likely than you think [Misc]

Tuesday 24 February 8:46:00 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Literary whiz: Man arrested after urinating on books at library [Florida]

Tuesday 24 February 8:11:49 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [18 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » hatemebeforetheyevenhatch says FML

Tuesday 24 February 7:38:49 UTC 2015

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police investigate secret tunnel, complete with lights, a generator, and reinforced walls, found underneath Toronto's Rexall Centre, which will host the Pan Am Games tennis match this summer. Secret tunnel trifecta now in play [Strange]

Tuesday 24 February 7:32:30 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [46 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » now what says FML

Tuesday 24 February 7:22:04 UTC 2015

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Confused and Disgusted says FML

Tuesday 24 February 7:12:17 UTC 2015

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Buy Kurt Cobain's (Very Expired) Credit Card

Tuesday 24 February 7:03:00 UTC 2015

Today in ephemera you can own for an absurd price: Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain's Visa credit card, available from Paddle8 Auctions. His signature is written on the back in blue pen; next to it, in black, is what appears to a phone number, without a visible area code. The card, which expired 20 years ago this month, is accompanied … [Link]

Futility Closet » A Head for Letters

Tuesday 24 February 6:14:45 UTC 2015

On June 29, 1851, phrenologist J.P. Browne examined a subject he knew only as a “gentlewoman”: In its intellectual development this head is very remarkable. The forehead is at once very large and well formed. It bears the stamp of deep thoughtfulness and comprehensive understanding. … This lady possesses a fine organ of language, and can, if she has done … [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines'

Tuesday 24 February 5:11:36 UTC 2015

It’s judgment day all over again! Here are some facts you may not have known about Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. 1. ARNOLD CAME BACK—BUT AT A PRICE … Arnold Schwarzenegger was paid $29.25 million to star in T3. 2. … AND HIS LIST OF DEMANDS WAS EXTENSIVE His contract stipulated that in order to reprise his role as … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The majority of Americans want vaccines to be mandatory. Who knew common sense was virtually across the board when it comes to vaccines? [Hero]

Tuesday 24 February 5:11:24 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ ♪ Ski-doo-be-dop Eww…Ski-doo-be-dop Ewww… Aaaah–ahhh SQUAT LOBSTERS ♪ ♫ [Cool]

Tuesday 24 February 4:24:36 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why do older men spend so much time looking at women half their age? What are they looking at? Is it breasts? It's breasts, isn't it. Isn't it? IS IT BREASTS, JUST TELL ME [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 February 4:19:17 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [241 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Someone drives into restaurant, injuring one. Fark: In their boat (with photo) [Florida]

Tuesday 24 February 4:15:13 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ten Wesleyan University students weren't smart enough to avoid going to a rave and taking some MDMA or "Molly" as the kids call it [Fail]

Tuesday 24 February 4:14:46 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fluoride in water linked to depression, weight gain, launching nuclear attacks [Scary]

Tuesday 24 February 4:12:06 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Peanut allergies are a myth [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 February 4:09:44 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hair thief steals horses' mane and tail to sell for extensions. In related news, horse hair extensions are a thing [Sad]

Tuesday 24 February 3:35:37 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian Stonehenge replica can be yours for $5 million. Bonus: Life-size, so as to not be in danger of being crushed by a dwarf [Strange]

Tuesday 24 February 3:32:22 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Union membership is on decline in all fifty states and has been for the past fifty years, as shown by this new handy map that shows unions are going the way of the dodo [Spiffy]

Tuesday 24 February 3:21:53 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Or the Sharpest Bulb in the Shed, for That Matter

Tuesday 24 February 2:59:56 UTC 2015

Coworker #1: My son is hanging out with the stupidest kid…Coworker #2: What do you mean?Coworker #1: He’s not exactly the brightest knife in the drawer.Airport Drive
Green Bay, Wisconsin [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Nope, Pretty Sure They Already Faxed Those to Buffalo

Tuesday 24 February 2:59:55 UTC 2015

Female coworker at fax, after small dead bug drops out of machine: Look at this. Harrisburg is faxing us their bugs. I'll fax it right back to them.Coworker, sarcastically: Yeah, next thing you know they'll be faxing their cows to us.Female coworker: Yeah.Philadelphia, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: Shipjumper [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And That Uzi? What Were You Thinking?

Tuesday 24 February 2:59:54 UTC 2015

Co-worker, on phone with 9-year-old son: I’m not happy with you. I heard you were a bad boy at camp. They told me you hit one of the other kids with a golf club. You shouldn’t do that. You could hurt someone.371 Hoes Lane
Piscataway, New Jersey [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But First We Reduce Him to Tears With Cross-Examination

Tuesday 24 February 2:59:52 UTC 2015

Messenger: Hey, I'm just the messenger.Receiver: Do you know where the phrase “Don't shoot the messenger” came from?Messenger: Cause they use to shoot the messenger.Receiver: You know why they still have that saying? Cause we still shoot the messenger.Lyndhurst, New Jersey [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Psh, Everybody Loves Fried Chicken

Tuesday 24 February 2:59:51 UTC 2015

Administrative assistant: Of course, all us darkies love fried chicken.Vancouver
CanadiaOverheard by: …wrong on so many levels [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The AIDS epidemic began in an African rainforest in 1908 [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 February 2:22:03 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The soap du jour comes highly recommended [Sick]

Tuesday 24 February 1:52:55 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [30 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » looking4newvenue says FML

Tuesday 24 February 1:35:52 UTC 2015

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Wutdafuqq says FML

Tuesday 24 February 1:35:51 UTC 2015

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 February 1:35:50 UTC 2015

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Old-School New York Times Death Infographics Were Depressing

Tuesday 24 February 1:30:00 UTC 2015

We take much for granted in these modern times of ours, like, for example, the fact that our collective life expectancy means people aren't constantly dying around us. This wasn't the case in the mid-19th century, as these snazzy New York Times charts documenting the city's various deaths demonstrate. From around 1851 to 1866, the paper ran these for New … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man drags a 3 year old out of the boy's day care, throws him in the back of the car, and starts beating him. Several witnesses said they had to "look away" and they could still hear "smacks and screams" from the car, but no one in

Tuesday 24 February 1:12:57 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You would think that a state legislator would know that women can't get pregnant by swallowing, especially if said legislator also sits on the board of a crisis pregnancy center. You would think [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 February 1:11:43 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Back When Gay Sex Was Fly

Tuesday 24 February 1:02:34 UTC 2015

Old office lady #1: I found out what “buggery” means.Old office lady #2: What?Old office lady #1: It means “sodomy.” It must be an older word for it.Worcester, MassachusettsOverheard by: PS [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these hanger outers [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 February 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Worth every penny [FarkBlog]

Tuesday 24 February 0:51:29 UTC 2015

FarkBlog [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colorado politician introduces bills to legalize marijuana on the federal level. Yeah, right. What's that guy smoking? Oh… wait [Unlikely]

Tuesday 24 February 0:48:14 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teacher of the Year suspended over dirty diaper. Parents say it's a steaming pile of crap [Asinine]

Tuesday 24 February 0:43:44 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia denounces the US for having brought "chaos" to the Middle East because of its desire to "dominate the entire world", then went on to denounce the extreme blackness of the Kettle [Asinine]

Tuesday 24 February 0:36:02 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brine anti-ice road treatments has car owners in a pickle [PSA]

Tuesday 24 February 0:24:32 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [34 comments] [Link]

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