Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » When I Woke Up, I Was Here.
English professor to secretary: According to my college transcript, I took a course in my freshman year called “introduction to drugs”. I have no recollection of this course, and I wonder why.Gettysburg, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: English Major [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: airline loses your luggage. Delta takes it to a whole new level and loses your dogs (plural). Your Westminster-prize-winning show dogs [Sad]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Facts About Lefties
Being left-handed can seem like a curse: Scissors are hard to use, hands are always covered in ink, and it's unlikely you'll find the right baseball mitt in gym class. But it's not all bad— here are some interesting facts about the uncommon southpaw. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In a turn of events that could only shock those outside the liberal-based world known as reality, six former O'Reilly colleagues have come out to say O'Reilly is lying about his war coverage [Obvious]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two university students jailed for insulting the fat, smelly, goat-fellating Thai royal family [Followup]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Iqaluit paralyzed after multi-vehicle accident destroys both the town's cars (pics) [Scary]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Crazy Things Your Smartphone Could Do
We use our smartphones for everything from navigating and looking up restaurant reviews to sharing selfies and checking email and the weather. Some of us even use them to make phone calls. Turns out we’re barely scratching the surface of what we can do with these tiny yet powerful devices—which pack hundreds of times more computing power than the Voyager … [Link]
The Onion » Bellicose Contingent Of Seventh-Graders Want To Play Tackle
WEST ALLIS, WI—Forcefully asserting that two-hand touch football is “for girls,” reports out of Greenfield Park confirmed Monday that a small but aggressive faction of seventh-graders are staunchly in favor of playing tackle. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Four ways to save money in the aftermath of Disney World price hikes. Missing fifth option: Don't go to farking Disney World [Misc]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Netanyahu's claim in 2012 that Iran was a year away from having a nuclear bomb was completely discredited by those hippies at Mossad [Fail]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's not every day you respond to a domestic violence call and end up stumbling across a secret tunnel to an underground batcave/bunker/casino thingy [Strange]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The hidden promise of 'fake boyfriend apps' which allow a shy girl to find romance in the palm of her hand. Guys, of course, already know all about this [Followup]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Countries Containing the Letter 'J'
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The man who wrote "Puff, the Magic Dragon" swears it's not about drugs [Unlikely]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Man Who Gave Us Video Game Cartridges
Are you a gamer? Then you’ll enjoy this article that tells the tale of how a self-taught engineer gave us video game cartridges. * Watch the adorable Oscar-winning animated short film Feast. * Stephen Hawking thinks the human race needs to start colonizing the galaxy right now. * There are people who like their privacy and then there are these … [Link]
The Onion » Person Who Clearly Hasn’t Seen ‘The Fifth Element’ Arguing There No Good Roles For Women
HOUSTON—Revealing her total ignorance of the 1997 science-fiction classic, local resident Erin Marshall, a corporate consultant who has clearly never seen the film The Fifth Element, reportedly complained Monday about Hollywood’s lack o… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man suffers explosion in bathroom. Sadly not a euphemism [Scary]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Even the dead in Syria need refuge from ISIS [Followup]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these known characters [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: When posing for a photo between two railroad tracks, make sure there are no trains coming. From both directions [Interesting]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Busy Woman Keeps Best-Dressed Oscar Slideshow Tab Open To Be Savored As Sumptuous Feast At Her Leisure
GALVESTON, TX—Saying that the red carpet fashions were too luscious to be consumed in a hurry, 32-year-old marketing manager Gabrielle Lauriston reportedly kept the Vanity Fair “Oscars Best-Dressed” slideshow tab open Monday to be… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ray Stevens arrested for decade of sex crimes against multiple victims. That's why the call him the Streak [Scary]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Killing your cellmate to get your own cell will technically work, but probably not like you were hoping [Dumbass]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Houston Fark Party – Come Celebrate the First Day of Spring [FarkParty]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Purple pod perplexes Peruvians [Weird]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Joan Rivers Excluded From Oscars ‘In Memoriam’ Segment
Fans of late comedian and actor Joan Rivers blasted Academy Awards producers last night after they excluded Rivers, who made appearances in dozens of films over her decades-long career as well as covered the Oscars red carpet, from the show’s … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Most Americans support raising taxes on the rich. It's a good thing we live in a democracy, where the promise of-Hah, had you going there, didn't I? [Unlikely]
[link] [179 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Mattel Making Over Barbie With Racial Diversity, Tech Features
After years of losing young consumers to competing doll brands like Bratz and Monster High, Mattel has decided to completely make over Barbie by releasing a new line of dolls that are racially diverse, have the ability to talk, can bend their ankles, a… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Giant bust results from cock ring. I might have left out a word there [Sick]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Test driving Amazon Prime: Surprisingly expensive when all you want to buy is an oddly specific brand of bobby pin [Strange]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Invasive Species Wreaking Havoc Around the World
Invasive species are bad news. They compete with native critters for food, destroy local ecology and, in some cases, are even dangerous to humans. And thanks to the increasingly global nature of our world, there are more and more animals discovered where they don’t belong every year. Here are just a few pests that have hitched rides to distant shores, … [Link]
Mental Floss » 42 Old English Insults
Besides being the greatest writer in the history of the English language, William Shakespeare was the master of the pithy put-down. So the nervous servant who tells Macbeth his castle is under attack is dismissed as a “cream-faced loon.” Oswald in King Lear isn’t just a useless idiot, he’s a “whoreson zed,” an “unnecessary letter.” Lear’s ungrateful daughter Goneril is … [Link]
The Onion » Friend Working At Milwaukee History Museum Could Probably Get You In For Free
MILWAUKEE—Suggesting that he might be able to pull a few strings at the admissions desk, a friend who works as a cashier at the Milwaukee History Museum confirmed Monday that he could probably get you in for free. 
[Link]
The Onion » Departing Employee Not Quite Important Enough For Send-Off
ATLANTA—Noting the distinct lack of fanfare surrounding his departure last Friday, employees at Empire Marketing Solutions concluded that sales associate Brent Wheeler was not quite important enough to warrant a formal send-off on his last day of wo… 
[Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird, February 22, 2015
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M411, February 22, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
A Saratoga Springs, N.Y., resort has begun accepting totally-defeated husbands and wives for a relaxed weekend that includes divorce, bringing to America a concept already successful in six European cities. The Gideon Putnam Resort & Spa charges $5,000 for a couple to … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Love goes full circle [Interesting]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The site of a "blacks only" cemetery from the 19th century is poised to become a new townhouse development. The only problem is, all the graves are empty and no one knows where the bodies went [Florida]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The History of WWI Victory Lamps
Snead & Co. Sales Brochure. Image Courtesy of Mr. Robert “Nick” McWhorter of Springfield, KY. via morgan-nj.org Tragedy struck Morgan, New Jersey on October 4, 1918, just a month before the end of World War I. Around 7:40 p.m., Building 6-1-1 of the T.A. Gillespie Company Shell Loading Plant exploded and, in turn, caused a string of other enormous explosions … [Link]
Mental Floss » How Those Awesome LEGO Oscars Were Made
New York-based Lego artist Nathan Sawaya has made replicas of the Brooklyn Bridge, Venus de Milo, and even the Mona Lisa out of the colored blocks as part of his career. So he was certainly up to the challenge of making 20 Oscar replicas for last night's 87th Academy Awards. Sawaya had some experience making LEGO Oscars even before the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Poor, suffering woman lives in fear of a terrible photo of her resurfacing on the internet, so here's the Daily Mail making sure we all see that photo [Amusing]
[link] [238 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Photoshop Version 1 Demo
Photoshop's creator demos the 1990 release using a photo of his wife on the beach. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brought a birthday cake to a fancy restaurant to celebrate after your pricey meal? That'll be $14 please. Per person [Asinine]
[link] [136 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » When in Rome …
Image: Wikimedia Commons Another of these dreams he had used as a basis for ‘Pickman’s Model,’ while still another formed the nucleus for ‘The Call of Cthulhu.’ I referred to this story one day, pronouncing the strange word as though it were spelled K-Thool-Hoo. Lovecraft looked blank for an instant, then corrected me firmly, informing me that the word was pronounced, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's a photographic roundup of school lunches from around the world to show how badly the U.S. is doing it by comparison [Interesting]
[link] [140 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the One-Word Oscar Best Picture Winners
How many can you name in five minutes? [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Pets Who Helped Solve Their Owners' Murders
Here are five animals that made sure justice was served. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ATM thieves 73, NYPD 0 [Fail]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Wicked Cool
Wicked Cool 
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The Onion » American Voices: Experts: Eggs No Longer Considered Health Risk
Though government officials have warned Americans for years about the high cholesterol content found in eggs, a U.S. 
[Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fearless giant kittyrat stalks North London, terrifies homeowner to stay inside, drink more tea [Scary]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hermione and the Half-Blood Prince, the band played Come On Eileen, and a suspect who looks a little shady: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/15 – 2/21 [FarkBlog]
[link] [5 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What's the Difference Between Frogs and Toads?
If you’ve thought about the frog versus toad question at all, you’ve probably assumed that these amphibians are two very different animals. After all, they have different kinds of skin—dry and pebbly for toads, and moist and smooth for frogs—and prefer different habitats: frogs like water, but toads prefer land. Frogs have slim bodies and long legs, and jump to … [Link]
FMyLife » sam882 says FML
Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We live in an age when all manner of scientific knowledge–from climate change to vaccinations–faces furious opposition. Some even have doubts about the moon landing set [Interesting]
[link] [878 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Hard Is It to Remember My Name Is Also Devon?
IT chick: Hey, where’s my homies?Admin: What homies?IT chick: Devon* and the little guy.Admin, incredulous: There’s a little guy?!Little guy in corner, quietly: Thanks.3559 Belgium Lane
San Antonio, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Or Am I Thinking Of 2012?
Locksmith: Yeah, you gotta read “1994.” Orson Welles. Really knows his stuff. Everything he wrote in that book is happening right now. You gotta read it. Sherman Oaks, California Overheard by: Ja'mie [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …And for All the Googling I'll Inevitably Do Later.
Guy #1: Have you ever thought about a vagina being like an “inverted” penis?Guy #2: No.Guy #1, continuing anyways: That way, if you were to “hit bottom” on a girl, that would mean that your penis was technically “bigger” than hers.Guy #2: I want to kill myself for having been involved in this conversation.Joplin, Missouri [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We Totally Understand Why Our Submitter Sent This In
Middle-aged female employee: Where's the protein in that young lady?Middle-aged manager, excited: There's lots of protein. Lots and lots!Marlborough, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Mail Card
Writer: The stupid mailroom is like the Gestapo now. They won’t mail this greeting card for me. Can you give me a stamp?
Designer: I guess so. I can get one at lunch for you.
Writer: Okay. Thanks. I’ll give you thirty-five cents for it.
Designer: Thirty-seven cents.
Writer: You’re charging a two-cent fee for a stamp? You’re worse than … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Most Dads Would Like Mom and the Kids to Move Out
IT tech #1: What day is father's day?IT tech #2: Sunday.IT tech #1: This Sunday? Shit!IT tech #2: Yes, this Sunday.IT tech #1: Wait a minute! Today is Thursday?!IT tech #2: Yep, today is Thursday.IT tech #1: Fuck!IT tech #2: You totally forgot, didn't you?IT tech #1: No, I have it completely covered, man. Completely. (hangs up, dials again) Honey, what … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This chocolate costs £169 per bar, has been compared to fine whiskey and you have to eat it with wooden tongs [Stupid]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this clown who got sent in [Photoshop]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Government fails to stop CITIZENFOUR from winning Best Documentary of 2014 [Cool]
[link] [156 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Your face on a pancake
Technology marches onward! Product development company Kinneir Dufort has created a machine that can print faces onto pancakes. It explains:
Combining CNC (Computer Numerical Control) technology with embedded face recognition and tracking software, the system dispenses layers of batter directly onto a hot plate allowing the creation of detailed and complex images within the pancake surfaces. As the conventional pancake … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying it was alien space reptiles, but…well, yes. That's exactly what I'm saying [Stupid]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » My What, Now?
Ghetto IT guy: It took me mad long to dig my car out. It was frozen in. I had to use one of the ice chopping things. I was going to town, it looked like I was cutting a huge pile of coke. I was slicing in rows up the whole thing.IT girl: Ummm… Did you get your car out?Madison Avenue … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Since so many oil drills are idle in America these days, why aren't they being used to drill for geothermal power? [Unlikely]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: That Space Between
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Weird Universe » Gene Vincent’s FLEA BRAIN
"If she wasn't good-looking, she'd be better off dead." [Link]
Mental Floss » Sea Creatures Are Getting Bigger
While some animals—like dragonflies and penguins—have gotten smaller over time, sea creatures seem to be getting bigger. This news may not be particularly shocking—after all, living creatures started out as microscopic, and have evolved into things like the blue whale, currently the largest creature on Earth. Sure, it took a couple billion years to make that progress, but it happened. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thank you Jamie Watts, for restoring subby's faith in humanity [Hero]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Martha Stewart Episode Nobody Wanted to View
Coworker to another: Better. I like it. When I see wood, it's a good thing.Austin, TexasOverheard by: Someone finally cleaned off their desk [Link]
GraphJam » Widow Tweed, What Are You Doing?!
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , Sad , tod , why Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Music 101
Music 101 Taylor Swift + Crack = Ke$ha Graph by: Kitaykat2009 Tagged: crack , drugs , equations , keha , Music , taylor swift Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » I Also Blame You for Justin Bieber and Jim Carrey
And while I may hate you for the Biebs, you also provided the world with Nathan Fillion, and for that I love you. http://chzb.gr/nZYwd4 Graph by: Unknown Tagged: america , Canada , cold , facts , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Show and Tell
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cry , happiness , matter , package post , sadness , show and tell , size , think , venn diagram , women Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » He Does That Cute Head Turn
Dogs make me smile. Graph by: Unknown Tagged: animals , cute , dogs , Pie Chart , TV Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: Tryingtobefunny Tagged: directions , driving , gps , Pie Chart , saint , st , street , thanks Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » The Deathly Goodbyes
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: cries , hallows , Harry Potter , hellos , life over , Movie , Pie Chart Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » How college works
Graph by: lljdude Tagged: college , drive thru , exams , fast food , final , graduate , hard , high school , study , ulcers , work Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » At Least It's Cheap. Oh, Wait…
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , college , knowledge , money , Pie Chart , reference , university Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Fear
Graph by: Aaronware Tagged: citizens , fear , government , terrorists , usa Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » The Importance of Nap Time
Graph by: cmoney345 Tagged: class , college , high school , kindergarten , naps , sleeping Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » What you do when you enter a hotel room
What you do when you enter a hotel room. Graph by: Unknown Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » The Simplest Pie Graph Ever
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: IRL , pie , Pie Chart , pumpkins , simple , thanksgiving Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » [ Group2 ] The typical MTV Show On the previous espisode… Coming up next Advertisements Previously… Actual content Coming up next Advertisements Previously… On the next espisode…
Graph by: duopixel Tagged: commercials , rage , reality tv , television , tune in next week Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Predictable / Little Government Regulation / Damaging Our Children's Future
Predictable / Little Government Regulation / Damaging Our Children's Future Graph by: Tagged: bp , childrens , damaging , debt , economic , future , ga ga , global , government , lady , little , oil , our , predictable , regulation , spill , warming Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Get Your Own, Moochers
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: kids , mooching , parents , Pie Chart , spicy food Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Christian Music
Graph by: jbmorgan86 Tagged: christianity , god , life , lyrics , metaphors , Music , sexual Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: jimtombob Tagged: food fairy , hungry , nom , Pie Chart , snack , wishful thinking Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » TL;DR Doesn't Count
Graph by: onecoolnerd Tagged: grammar , looking smart , Pie Chart , semicolons , writing Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » On the topic of wedged heels…
LoL by: Stacy Tagged: dumb , high heels , look , retarded , shoes Share on Facebook
[Link]
GraphJam » How you use the cupholders in your car
LoL by: Unknown Tagged: cars , change , garbage , gum , keys Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » When you get hit with a green shell in mario kart
Graph by: maipooz Tagged: Bar Graph , bounce , greenn , Mario Kart , off , send , shell , video games , wall Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » I Love the Smell of Crayons in the Morning
Graph by: Imonadrug Tagged: ages , coloring , crayons , Line Graph , nostalgia Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: ethman770 Tagged: alzheimers , diabeetus , hoveround , moustache , Pie Chart , wilford Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » First thoughts when told "don't press this button"
Graph by: will_f1986 Tagged: button , guy , listen , Pie Chart , press , pretend , scare Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » The Cost Is Nothing Compared to the Time I'll Waste on It
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , cost , parents , video games , waste Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Outcome from clicking 'repair' wireless internet connection
Graph by: neilcampbell31 Tagged: connection , internet , nothing , Pie Chart , repair , wireless Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: Science_Nerd Tagged: Bar Graph , bella , edward , genre , Jacob , murder , stephanie meyer , twilight , vampires Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Go Cry Emo Kid: Know Your Music!
If This Offends You, Go Cry About It Submitted by: CrypticDarkness Tagged: best of week , boy bands , bvb , metallica , Music , weird kid Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Nerdgasm: States Renamed By GDP
Graph by: k1k1chan Tagged: awesome , GDP , infographic , nerdgasm , united states Share on Facebook
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GraphJam » Marriage Math
Graph by: Unknown Tagged: marriage , math , relationship , salary , single Share on Facebook
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GraphJam »
Graph by: Corgician Tagged: do I look fat , flow chart , lie , trap , trick question Share on Facebook
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Fark.com RSS » Apparently selling swastika tattoos to children can create a little fuhrer [Fail]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What happened to you Amsterdam? You used to be cool [Sad]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wanted: Examiners for newly developed breast cancer screening technique. Applicants must be comfortable touching women's breasts, female, and blind (probably not safe for work) [Interesting]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Oscar Winners!
All The Winners At The 2015 Academy Awards. And some other interesting things that happened during the Oscars ceremony.
*
10 Classic Movie Diva Showdowns. The silver screen is the perfect medium for showcasing competition and cattiness.
*
The Horrible Ways Mathematicians Have Died. Just one more reason to put off doing your math homework.
*
Everything you need to know … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thanks to remote learning, future generations of children now will never get to experience the joy of a snow day [Sad]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And this relationship varies inversely with temperature
Warehouse manager: I just wanted to let you know your yellow nipples came back in.Assistant: Good, so my black nipples are now yellow?Warehouse manager: They aren't really nipples, they are actually pipes.Assistant: But the box said “nipples.”Warehouse manager: I know you like to say that, but nipples are short, pipes are long. Got it?Assistant: I'll keep that in mind!Charlotte, North Carolina … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Noted politician, diplomat, and terrorism expert Charles Barkley shares his thoughts about Republicans, Hillary Clinton and what Obama should have done to ISIS [Interesting]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guy picks up woman in strip club. She takes him out for a few shots [Scary]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Four year old shot when his mom's gun falls out of its holster. Says he's even for being carried for nine months and wrecking her figure [Dumbass]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » headache says FML
Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch A Young Steve Carell in His Second City Graduation Show
We all have to start somewhere. Before he was an Academy Award-nominated actor, Steve Carell was just another comedy hopeful at Second City theater in Chicago (incidentally, not a bad place for a comedy hopeful). In this clip from the early '90s, Carell plays a rhyming, reluctant lumberjack as one half of a two-man skit in the Second City graduation … [Link]
FMyLife » tom28402 says FML
Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Incredible Stephen Hawking Quotes
When Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with motor neurone disease at age 21, doctors thought he'd only survive a few more years. But the theoretical physicist defied the odds. [Link]
Futility Closet » The Sixth Cent
You toss 6 fair coins, and I toss 5 fair coins. What is the probability that you get more heads than I do? Click for solution … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM My. Head. Hurts.
Boss: Why were you late today?
Employee: I went out last night and I stayed out too late.
Boss: I am not sure if I should admire your honesty or if I should fire you for not having the courtesy to lie to me. 17 Battery Place
New York, NY [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Popular tourist attraction for children did nazi a problem with their new model railroad layout [Obvious]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Its Regrettable Attendant Closeness
Graphics supervisor: They talked about touching.7th and Flower Street
Los Angeles, CaliforniaOverheard by: Spongegirl [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Walmart is making three changes so people will want to shop there. Surprisingly, renaming themselves Target is missing from the list [Fail]
[link] [167 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This is NOT how snow angels are made [Sad]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » vaylosa says FML
Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML [Link]
FMyLife » HaliMali says FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML [Link]
The Onion » ‘You Are Not Your Job,’ Obama Reminds Himself Throughout Shower
WASHINGTON—Muttering softly under his breath as he leaned his head against the tiled bathroom wall, President Barack Obama repeatedly reminded himself that he was not his job over the course of a 15-minute shower Friday morning, White House sources … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » In most cities the Mayor orders the police to chase after violent criminals. In Jerusalem, the Mayor personally chases after the stabber and tackles and restrains him personally [Hero]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 'Cause I've Been Hoping That's What I Heard
Coworker: Hey, how's it going? Hey, the other day, when I saw you in the hallway… did you call me a bitch?Canoga Park, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Those "brave" leaders of Boko Haram may have used a seven year-old girl as suicide bomber. Sad tag seen arguing with Sick tag [Asinine]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chilean cyclist's quest to bike around the world has ended with his death–surprisingly NOT by drowning [Sad]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Standup Barbie TV reporter diagnosed with skin cancer after using sun beds for 10 years [Dumbass]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "No one wants to spend $20 to see a concert if it involves Kid Rock" [Florida]
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Overheard In The Office » It Turns the Whole Economy On
Senior partner: I was telling my secretary the other day, “You know what turns me on? You know what gets me hot? A woman with a job.”Senior associate: Well, I have one of those.Senior partner: It really turns me on.Atlanta, GeorgiaOverheard by: praying that it's only a dream [Link]
Mental Floss » Then and Now: 12 Scenes From Famous Movies
Here's what they look like today. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How drunk is too drunk to have sex? [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Conan in Cuba [Photoshop]
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Fark.com RSS » University of Michigan's 80-year-old, 28-foot-tall agave will be cut down now that it has served its purpose. Good plant [Sad]
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The Onion » Hollywood's Biggest Stars Endure Long Lines At Oscars Security Screening
Hollywood's Biggest Stars Endure Long Lines At Oscars Security Screening 
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Overheard In The Office » At the Very Least, I Was Huffing Cough Syrup
Guy #1: If you lost my knife, so help me god you owe me $14.99. Plus shipping and handling.Guy #2: Okay, so…we'll just deduct that from the eighty bucks you already owe me?Guy #1: Statute of limitations. That bet was, like, five months ago.Guy #2: Yeah, and we agreed that you'd owe me interest if you didn't pay me…Guy #1 (incredulous): … [Link]
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