John Gordon Ross

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Is it safe? IS IT SAFE? [Sick]

Saturday 21 February 23:50:14 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Remember the 20/20 about the guy that turned his holiday display into a Fark You to his neighbors? The township is back in court trying to get him to clean it up [Followup]

Saturday 21 February 23:42:36 UTC 2015

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Overheard In The Office » If You Swallow Semen, Could You Poop Out a Baby?

Saturday 21 February 23:40:01 UTC 2015

Girl #1: I feel like I'm pregnant. Girl #2: Maybe you are. Girl #1: But, it was anal sex. Girl #2: But I think it could still pass through. Girl #1: “Pass through?” Girl #2: Yeah, I think sometimes it can. Girl #1: Oh god.Girl #2: I think I've heard it could. You'd better go get checked out.Girl #1: Oh, god! … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boozed up while pregnant, beating your boyfriend with a paper towel holder, biting and threatening him with a 12" knife, because his gay friend jokingly sent him WIE, is no way to go through life young lady [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 23:39:55 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Kentucky to trans-gendered students: Just hold it until you get home [Dumbass]

Saturday 21 February 23:31:59 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Welcome parents. On the first floor here you can leave you child in the care of My Precious Moments daycare center. Then head on downstairs to my son's shop the My Precious Moments ecstasy and weed store [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 23:23:52 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Men are posting selfies of themselves in miniskirts following the murder of a student who was wearing one when she was attacked and killed in Turkey (pics) [Cool]

Saturday 21 February 23:22:47 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » When posing with your pussy is really more of a cry for help [Followup]

Saturday 21 February 23:16:05 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » It's not dead, it's just pining [Silly]

Saturday 21 February 23:12:22 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » NASA says the Eastern U.S. looks like it's in a deep freeze. Here's the photo to prove it, from 200 miles up [Cool]

Saturday 21 February 22:48:40 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » 'Trench cello' played for the first time since WW1. No word if museum plans to host a symphony along with a flamethrower flute and bayonet bassoon [Cool]

Saturday 21 February 22:36:25 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Helicopter crashes on busy Southern California freeway. Cue synthetic blood and sound effects [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 22:34:42 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Some days, you're the cat. Other days, you're the cat with the octopus glued to its face [Strange]

Saturday 21 February 22:30:20 UTC 2015

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FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 21 February 22:20:19 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dude, where's my ejection seat? [Strange]

Saturday 21 February 22:19:13 UTC 2015

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FMyLife » besosforme says FML

Saturday 21 February 21:55:33 UTC 2015

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML [Link]

FMyLife » fml says FML

Saturday 21 February 21:55:32 UTC 2015

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: 5 Years of the Sun's Lifespan In 3 Minutes

Saturday 21 February 21:30:00 UTC 2015

A whole 5 years of the Sun's lifespan condensed into 3 minutes: there's no way anyone doesn't have time for that. * Move over, 007: it's time for some real-life lady spies to get the cinematic spotlight, don't you think? * When life gives you snow and ice, the Swedes make a winter playground. * After 40 years of regular … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headline needs no improvement: Tim Cook SLURPED our BRAINS, snarl fat battery bods A123 [Amusing]

Saturday 21 February 21:26:24 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » This teenager from New York City just caught a 1,058 lb. blue marlin in Kona, Hawaii. "My estimate is today there are over 100 people that are enjoying that fish" [CSB]

Saturday 21 February 21:12:46 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flashy moment [Photoshop]

Saturday 21 February 21:00:01 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Warm cricket consomme washed down with ant-infused gin? My mouth's watering already [Unlikely]

Saturday 21 February 20:28:28 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Magazine asks 1,000 Japanese women if they'd rather date an ugly millionaire or an unemployed hottie. Responder: "I'd use the rich one like an ATM and fool around behind his back with the unemployed guy" [Obvious]

Saturday 21 February 20:28:07 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Your dog knows you're lying, but will keep quiet for a steak [Interesting]

Saturday 21 February 20:26:49 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » You think another teenager stole your pot. Do you: A) Forget about it. B) Ask them to give it back. C) Spend several weeks plotting to murder them [Florida]

Saturday 21 February 20:10:27 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Almost half of people between 21 and 27 have never tried Budweiser, as the grand tradition of drinking cheap and nasty beer in college is apparently under threat [Interesting]

Saturday 21 February 20:05:09 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Man so unhappy with new haircut that he trashes salon in 'irate' rampage rather than just wearing a hat for three weeks like the rest of us (w/ pic of haircut) [Dumbass]

Saturday 21 February 20:00:01 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Teens plead not guilty in attempted broom rape as officials refuse to sweep case under the rug (Article contains some graphic language) [Sick]

Saturday 21 February 19:58:30 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Church graffiti culprits identified [Sad]

Saturday 21 February 19:57:08 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » More and more sperm donors are suing for visitation rights, and this is bad news for same-sex couples [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 19:51:51 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » After being declared clinically dead, Catholic priest is revived and claims to have gone to heaven and met God. "God is great and almighty despite being a woman" [Obvious]

Saturday 21 February 19:51:05 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » World's saddest owl found in Malaysia (pic) [Sad]

Saturday 21 February 19:42:57 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Awesome sauce for high-end renters in Manhattan, when the apocalypse comes, your glass-walled apartment 80 stories up will be your tomb [Misc]

Saturday 21 February 19:33:40 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Shh, the kids are asleep, let's go out and smoke some weed – I'm sure they will be fine [Sick]

Saturday 21 February 19:32:25 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Man's plan to steal 25,000 pounds of cheese doesn't turn out so gouda [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 19:30:54 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Armed terrorists burst into school, abduct 89 children [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 19:28:42 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » "A seaside holiday town's plan to call a road Hitler's Walk has been scrapped after it sparked outrage" (pic) [Amusing]

Saturday 21 February 18:36:04 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » A Canadian supporter of Daesh, in his own words. It's about as dumb as you'd expect, only with fewer "eh's" [Dumbass]

Saturday 21 February 18:31:23 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » If you're planning to steal a bus, get a good night's sleep BEFORE you get behind the wheel or the results will just be pathetic [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 18:28:21 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » Meet the Model for the Oscar Statuette

Saturday 21 February 18:00:00 UTC 2015

YouTube user Edward Fuente This is Emilio “El Indio” Fernandez. You might know him better as Oscar. According to one long-standing rumor, Fernandez, a famous Mexican director and actor, is the man behind Oscar’s chiseled pecs. The story goes like this: In the 1920s, there was a tight-knit Mexican community in Hollywood. At the time, actress Dolores del Rio was … [Link]

FMyLife » pissed says FML

Saturday 21 February 17:47:35 UTC 2015

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML [Link]

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Saturday 21 February 17:47:34 UTC 2015

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A possible link between semiconductor manufacturing and ALS disease? We need more intel [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 16:53:41 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » If you're a utility company trying to negotiate a 10% rate increase with the State, don't inadvertently cc an email to all parties involved stating how little you're actually willing to settle for [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 16:39:51 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » China's latest export hit: hepatitis [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 16:23:28 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » "The Pope has compared the threat of transgender people to nuclear weapons" [Obvious]

Saturday 21 February 16:17:50 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Elderly New Jersey man facing up to ten years in prison after 300-year-old flintlock pistol found in glove box of his car. "He has no chance of parole, because New Jersey's modern handgun law includes antique handguns" (pics) [Asinine]

Saturday 21 February 16:17:36 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Grandparents are supposed to dote on and spoil a new granddaughter, not bind down both of her legs inside a makeshift cage made out of a hamper just so they can grow marijuana in peace [Sick]

Saturday 21 February 16:01:43 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Dog joins 97% of Americans who are stuck in their recliner chairs [Amusing]

Saturday 21 February 15:26:53 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » There's drunk driving. There's drunk driving in the wrong direction. Then there's drunk driving in the wrong direction halfway across the Golden Gate Bridge, before pulling a u-turn in the middle [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 14:54:04 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Here's four ways to fix your Text Neck. Still no cure for Fark Face [Obvious]

Saturday 21 February 14:40:47 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Newly-discovered "Bourbon virus" linked to Kansas man's death. Paging Dr. Curtis, Dr. Curtis to the ER, stat [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 14:06:06 UTC 2015

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Weird Universe » Monkey Brand Soap

Saturday 21 February 14:02:18 UTC 2015

In the days before Mr. Clean, there was Monkey Brand. Though it seems an odd choice for whatever ad man thought this up to figure that people would associate a grinning monkey with clean dishes.

Source: Sketch Magazine, April 1908
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this iceberg just chilling out [Photoshop]

Saturday 21 February 14:00:01 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » Big Birdman

Saturday 21 February 14:00:00 UTC 2015

At age 81, Caroll Spinney is still Big Bird. Here he is doing a "Birdman" parody ahead of the Oscars! (He also plays Oscar the Grouch….) [Link]

Weird Universe » The Hairy Water Tortoise of China

Saturday 21 February 13:31:29 UTC 2015

I cannot figure out if this is a legitimate species, or a freak. This article seems to imply it was a common tortoise with vegetation affixed to its back. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » My Other Car Is an Ambulance

Saturday 21 February 13:31:10 UTC 2015

Woman exiting elevator at lunchtime: And if I get bored, I can just hook up to that Dilaudid in my car!Renton, WashingtonOverheard by: Editoreador [Link]

Overheard In The Office » By “She” Do You Mean Your Moms?

Saturday 21 February 13:31:09 UTC 2015

Girl, about overhead projection image: Any way you can make that bigger?Whole class: That's what she said!University
Toronto
CanadiaOverheard by: like, for real? [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap

Saturday 21 February 13:31:08 UTC 2015

Boss: Let’s take care of that tomorrow.
Employee: Let’s as in “you and me”, or “you, me and [Kate]”, or “me and [Kate]”?
Boss: Let’s as in “you and Kate].” I shouldn’t be involved unless there’s a problem. 303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Best. Graduation Speech. Ever.

Saturday 21 February 13:31:07 UTC 2015

My coworker, on the phone with his teenage daughter, who has just told him that she wants to become a police officer:"you know you can't be no cop with your boobs hanging out your shirt. You gotta button that shit up and wear a tie."Financial District, NYCOverheard by: shorty jay [Link]

Overheard In The Office » She Doesn’t Like Doing Either, She Just Likes Talking About Them

Saturday 21 February 13:31:06 UTC 2015

Nerd #1: All Brittney* talks about is food and sex.Nerd #2: Yeah, what do you think she likes doing more: talking about eating while having sex, or talking about fucking while having lunch?333 Pfingsten Road
Northbrook, IllinoisOverheard by: deltar [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM All Hands Call

Saturday 21 February 13:31:05 UTC 2015

Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone. 9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » It’s Really More about Whether You Bring in Good Snacks

Saturday 21 February 13:31:01 UTC 2015

Supervisor: Why do you want to do this?Mid-level worker: Because no one else is, and it needs to be done.Supervisor: No one cares how hard you work! This isn’t that kind of place!State government building
Connecticut [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to what may be the only retirement home specifically for OAPs (old age pussycats). With heated beds, sunny sofas, and open fires, almost 80 elderly kitties have a comfy place to enjoy Caturday [Caturday]

Saturday 21 February 13:00:00 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Fetuses are more sensitive and susceptible to the prenatal environment than initially believed. So maybe you shouldn't take your unborn child to work [PSA]

Saturday 21 February 12:50:55 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » I had to move, move, really had to move [Cool]

Saturday 21 February 12:44:05 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » You'd think it would be pleasant to wake up because your girlfriend has taken your penis into her mouth. You'd think [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 12:38:33 UTC 2015

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Overheard In The Office » Unlike White People, Who Pretend to Have Read Them

Saturday 21 February 12:30:29 UTC 2015

Black coworker, showing off book: It was on Oprah's Book Club.White coworker: Oh, okay.Black coworker, putting book under shirt: And now I'm hiding it, cos I don't read books. I'm black.San Francisco, CaliforniaOverheard by: sure, why not? [Link]

GraphJam » Katy Perry Kissed a Girl

Saturday 21 February 12:19:32 UTC 2015

LoL by: duckie413 Tagged: girl , horrible , katy perry , KISS , like , shock value Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Likelihood of UPS guy showing up

Saturday 21 February 12:19:29 UTC 2015

LoL by: falafelicious Tagged: delivery , hours , shower , UPS , waiting Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Pikachu, Noooooo!!1!

Saturday 21 February 12:19:28 UTC 2015

Graph by: kingcol Tagged: ash , Pie Chart , pikachu , Pokémon Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » What saran wrap sticks to:

Saturday 21 February 12:19:25 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: kitchen , Pie Chart , plastic wrap , sticky , storage Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Salad Dressing 101

Saturday 21 February 12:19:24 UTC 2015

Graph by: S.P.A-Bits (via Bite) Tagged: 101 , Bar Graph , food , pizza , salad dressing Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » My Underoos are a Friggin Rainbow

Saturday 21 February 12:19:23 UTC 2015

Apparently it's TMI day here at GraphJam Graph by: Unknown Tagged: laundry day , matching , Pie Chart , underwear Share on Facebook [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fox regrets skipping so many Cunning classes at school [Amusing]

Saturday 21 February 12:19:20 UTC 2015

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GraphJam » Nyan!

Saturday 21 February 12:19:17 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: animals , cat , creepy , cute , Line Graph Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Things I Learned From Watching CSI

Saturday 21 February 12:19:16 UTC 2015

Graph by: lawlzchelsea Tagged: Blood , csi , direction , female , fingerprints , forensic science , kill , Pie Chart , problems , sample , supermodels Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Looks About Right

Saturday 21 February 12:19:15 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: best of week , prejudice , thats-racist Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Britney Spears Is…

Saturday 21 February 12:19:14 UTC 2015

LoL by: Orion92786 Tagged: britney spears , innocent , Music , singers Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 21 February 12:19:11 UTC 2015

Graph by: bob8065 Tagged: Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Bountiful Treasure: Guys vs. Girls

Saturday 21 February 12:19:10 UTC 2015

Graph by: SirKilmoreRyan Tagged: best of week , girls , guys , mall , Maps , men and women , Skyrim , treasure Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » The Big Three

Saturday 21 February 12:19:09 UTC 2015

Graph by: buckles_b (via Bite) Tagged: artists , best of week , drunk , poor , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They're All Your Bad Side

Saturday 21 February 12:19:06 UTC 2015

Graph by: brownbleu15 Tagged: attractive , facebook , pictures , venn diagram Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 21 February 12:19:05 UTC 2015

Graph by: omfgnoway Tagged: cell phone , dont-care , Pie Chart , reject , voicemail Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Turn 'Em Inside Out

Saturday 21 February 12:19:04 UTC 2015

Graph by: Kazikalani Tagged: gross , hygiene , laundry , Pie Chart , underwear Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Batman Voice Not Included

Saturday 21 February 12:19:03 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: accent , american , batman , christian bale , Pie Chart , voice , where is he FROM Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 21 February 12:19:00 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Jedi , luke skywalker , Pie Chart , sliding doors , star wars , the force Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Know Your Sweeteners

Saturday 21 February 12:18:58 UTC 2015

Submitted by: llamatron (via Medical Insurance) Tagged: food , health , high fructose corn syrup , infographic , sugar Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Meals my sister makes that I can stomach

Saturday 21 February 12:18:57 UTC 2015

LoL by: Mr.Walkerz Tagged: cereal , family , food , meals , sister , stomach Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Rappers Gonna Rap

Saturday 21 February 12:18:56 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: celeb , infographic , Music , name , rap , stage name Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » To Be Fair, Little Girls Can Be Really Mean

Saturday 21 February 12:18:54 UTC 2015

Graph by: Tagged: dogs , girls , Pie Chart , snowmen , vacuum Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 21 February 12:18:53 UTC 2015

Graph by: dmkellman Tagged: bed , hashtags , katy perry , Pie Chart , sleep , tweets , twitter Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » I'm Not Feeling Lucky

Saturday 21 February 12:18:51 UTC 2015

Graph by: TheHellkite Tagged: address bar , browser , google , im-feeling-lucky , internet , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » Types of sources university students use when doing an assignment

Saturday 21 February 12:18:50 UTC 2015

Types of sources university students use when doing an assignment Graph by: JAWS86 Tagged: assignments , books , google , resources , students , studying , text books , university , wikipedia Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » 

Saturday 21 February 12:18:49 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: Bar Graph , do not use , dont-tell-me-what-to-do , hygiene , q tip Share on Facebook [Link]

GraphJam » They Like Us, They Really Like Us!

Saturday 21 February 12:18:48 UTC 2015

Graph by: Unknown Tagged: bands , facebook , likes , Pie Chart Share on Facebook [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Surprising Ways Technology Can Refresh Your Winter Getaway

Saturday 21 February 12:00:00 UTC 2015

The best way to beat the winter blues is by getting out of town. And whether you’re more excited for the adrenaline rush you get on the slopes or the roaring fire back at the lodge, there’s technology to help make the most of your winter getaway. Here are 11 ways tech can help raise the temperature on your cold … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Prank caller tricks employees into destroying Circle K, presumably by telling them strange things were afoot there [Interesting]

Saturday 21 February 11:56:02 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Now that marijuana is days away from being legal in Alaska, does that mean it's cool to take your weed with you on plane flights? Just asking for a friend [Interesting]

Saturday 21 February 11:28:10 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » All nine former DEA leaders voice their opposition to Colorado's pot laws, add their support to lawsuit from neighboring states asking Supreme Court to strike down the laws. Why? Because fark you hippies, that's why [Obvious]

Saturday 21 February 11:18:02 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » What the color of your urine says about your health. Spoiler alert: Syrup brown is bad [Interesting]

Saturday 21 February 11:12:16 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » "Real man" and Republican hero Putin has succeeded in getting his country's credit rating lowered to "real junk" [Dumbass]

Saturday 21 February 11:02:19 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Greece to avoid bankruptcy for another four months [Interesting]

Saturday 21 February 10:43:40 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » North Korea sends 100,000 abroad to work as slaves to fund luxuries for Lil' Kim [Sad]

Saturday 21 February 10:29:48 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Leon Kent, who stopped German tanks at the Battle of the Bulge, dies at age 99. Sadly, most Americans will never make it to 99 because of their personal battle of the bulge [Hero]

Saturday 21 February 10:26:57 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Bill O'Reilly responds directly to accusations made on Fark and elsewhere that his pants are on fire [Unlikely]

Saturday 21 February 10:23:08 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Big box superstores are making us fat because apparently everyone's forgotten about self control [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 10:00:45 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Suburban Chicago police department pays $500 in Bitcoin to a hacker who seized one of their computers and all its pertinent files. If only there were some arsenal they had access to in order to track down and arrest the hacker [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 8:34:14 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » The man said personnel started with the C-section when he suddenly heard the doctor say: "You've cut the head" [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 8:21:55 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Woman's house straddles NY/CT border. Bank fails to pay taxes on NY half of it out of escrow account. Town forecloses. Neighbor snaps it up for $275. Doesn't tell woman. When she does find out, neighbor offers it back for $150k [Asinine]

Saturday 21 February 8:19:50 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Why the long face, buddy? [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 8:07:56 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » New Mexico: We're missing somewhere between $76 million and $400 million. Give or take a few [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 8:03:49 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » I had to explain racism to my five-year-old. It's just not acceptable. He didn't really understand. If we are equal what gives the person responsible the right to do that? [Ironic]

Saturday 21 February 8:03:40 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » She worked on Rocky III. And Rocky V. And The Karate Kid. And it will take all the fight she has left in her to get north San Diego's transit service to give her rides, now that she's disabled [Sad]

Saturday 21 February 7:49:42 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Will the Springs finally succeed in Succession? Will anyone ever take Boulder seriously? And will Hickenfalafel finally have it out with JohnJacobKlingenschmitt? Confused? You still will be after this week's episode of "Colorado" [Amusing

Saturday 21 February 7:47:33 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Maths quiz. Six times the legal limit X Three separate car crashes + one u-turn in someone's backyard = ? [Dumbass]

Saturday 21 February 7:45:08 UTC 2015

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FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 21 February 7:27:15 UTC 2015

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Selfie-loving MP's wife with a bad case of the crazy eyes was either abused as a child or is a self-obsessed fantasist [Weird]

Saturday 21 February 7:01:57 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested while masturbating to 50 Shades of Grey in crowded theater. Put the cuffs on her boys, I'm sure that was the last thing she would have wanted to happen [Amusing]

Saturday 21 February 6:55:29 UTC 2015

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Futility Closet » Truth in Labeling

Saturday 21 February 6:46:33 UTC 2015

The given name of Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, is Edward Anthony Richard Louis. Thus his initials are E.A.R.L. Nobel Prize-winning chemist Herbert Charles Brown studied compounds of boron and hydrogen in organic chemistry. He joked that his initials reflected his field of study. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 21 February 3:56:53 UTC 2015

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Get the Deduction — That’s What Counts

Saturday 21 February 3:41:27 UTC 2015

Cashier to customer #1: Awww, how cute! Is he your son?Customer #2: No, he’s my son.Cashier, pointing to customer #1: Are you sure? He looks like his son!Government building
Washington, DC [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Don't Worry– She Just Means Her Bowels.

Saturday 21 February 3:41:26 UTC 2015

Young man on speakerphone: Let's set something up for next week then. When is good for you?Lady who should have retired twenty years ago: You pick the day, I'm all loose.Ottawa
Canadia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They're Not Supposed to Be Dapper

Saturday 21 February 3:41:25 UTC 2015

Administrator #1: Well, here's our wreath, and the lights…Administrator #2: Wait til she sees what I did to the angel.Administrator #3: What?Administrator #2: She wasn't here last Christmas, she didn't see it.(five minutes later)Administrator #1: Who drew a mustache on the angel?Fordham University
New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Kristin Scott Thomas: Really, I'm Good, Thanks

Saturday 21 February 3:41:19 UTC 2015

Girl to friend: Why don't we just give her one of my mom's old boob implants? She had a mastectomy and never had it fixed, so she just puts a sock in there, and has a drawer full of implant boobs we could use.Amherst, Massachusetts [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 4PM Filing Frenzy

Saturday 21 February 3:41:18 UTC 2015

Police sergeant: Have you done those sexual child abuse talks at the school yet?
Civilian employee: Yes, and several of the children need to file a report.
Police sergeant: Great! Now we have more work. Whose idea was it to do those talks? 8620 California Avenue
South Gate, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And you thought YOUR driver's license photo was bad [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 3:36:59 UTC 2015

[link] [72 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Ralph Wiggum Had His Difficulties in the Corporate World

Saturday 21 February 3:14:37 UTC 2015

Intern, freaking out: Will somebody please help me? My pen fell down my pant leg and I can't find it!Birmingham, Alabama [Link]

Fark.com RSS » While most Bostonians have faced 4-hour MBTA commutes and struggled to dig out their cars, these guys and girl dug a 40 foot tunnel through a snowpile that was blocking their bike path [Cool]

Saturday 21 February 3:09:52 UTC 2015

[link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Oscar Facts That Will Impress Your Party Guests

Saturday 21 February 3:00:00 UTC 2015

Keep your Oscar party interesting with these historical facts about ceremonies past. 1. The winners of the very first Academy Awards, which took place on May 16, 1929 and honored films released from 1927 to 1928, were announced three months before the ceremony. 2. At the fourth Academy Awards, Norma Shearer found herself the announcer of the Best Actress category—which … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A refrigerator may protect you from a nuclear blast, but it will not stop the long arm of the law [Amusing]

Saturday 21 February 2:44:49 UTC 2015

[link] [27 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » all tweened out says FML

Saturday 21 February 2:30:32 UTC 2015

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Workplace prankster is stabbed to death by his co-worker for the always amusing "yank the chair out from under them" gag [Followup]

Saturday 21 February 2:19:46 UTC 2015

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Overheard In The Office » Chopsticks, However, Are Better for Stabbing Bigots in the Throat

Saturday 21 February 2:10:59 UTC 2015

Employee #1: How’s your burger?Asian manager, with messy burger: Good, but it’s hard to eat…Employee #2: It would be harder to eat with chopsticks!Boston, Massachusetts [Link]

FMyLife » annie_xox says FML

Saturday 21 February 2:05:07 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Walmart Raising Wages

Saturday 21 February 2:03:52 UTC 2015

Amid pressure from labor groups to provide its workforce with a better living wage, Walmart has announced that it will pay all workers at least $9 per hour beginning this April, a decision that will cost $1 billion and affect 500,000 employees, with the c…
[Link]

The Onion » Magazine: Is This Ivy League Dropout And Tech Entrepreneur The Current Mark Zuckerberg?

Saturday 21 February 2:03:51 UTC 2015

Is This Ivy League Dropout And Tech Entrepreneur The Current Mark Zuckerberg?
[Link]

The Onion » 76ers Afraid To Kick Bunch Of Tough-Looking Guys Off Practice Court

Saturday 21 February 2:03:49 UTC 2015

PHILADELPHIA—Explaining that the men currently engaged in the four-on-four pickup game are “really big” and “seem kind of mean,” players on the Philadelphia 76ers were reportedly hesitant Friday to kick a group of tough-looki…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS has an army of 7-foot-tall giants at its disposal, and they've been trained by Iran's best Photoshoppers [Fail]

Saturday 21 February 1:49:41 UTC 2015

[link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Zambia's top prosecutor drops all charges. Fark: Charges were against him [Obvious]

Saturday 21 February 1:30:58 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Noted fashion designer Kanye West says creating clothing is very difficult because he's so famous [Unlikely]

Saturday 21 February 1:28:58 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » How stoned do you have to be to get into a police car by accident? Turns out very [Dumbass]

Saturday 21 February 1:12:23 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sparkling samba dancer [Photoshop]

Saturday 21 February 1:00:01 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Worker shot in foot at blood bank, sets new record for blood donated [Scary]

Saturday 21 February 0:55:50 UTC 2015

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Fark.com RSS » Mom rants on the internet after zero out of 16 invited kids show up to her autistic six year old's birthday party. Does she get A) flamed, B) ignored, or C) a police and fire department response, including helicopter fly over [Cool]

Saturday 21 February 0:50:30 UTC 2015

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Mental Floss » Cups of Tea From Around the World

Saturday 21 February 0:37:57 UTC 2015

Tea is a very versatile drink that comes in many forms and flavors. [Link]

Mental Floss » Incredible Drone Footage of Frozen Niagara Falls

Saturday 21 February 0:30:00 UTC 2015

Earlier this week, we posted photos of things that had frozen over, which included Niagara Falls. Now, thanks to drone footage shot by NBC, you can see the frigid falls up close. The water surging beneath the ice formations is quite the spectacle. According to Snopes, cold weather has kept water from going over the falls only once—and it wasn't … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dubai's Torch Tower is living up to its name [News]

Saturday 21 February 0:26:09 UTC 2015

[link] [158 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » How Gay Troops Hurt Morale: Encapsulated

Saturday 21 February 0:01:48 UTC 2015

Captain to corporal, watching action movie: Hmmm, I didn't really like Julia Stiles in this movie, I thought she was better in The Prince and Me.Corporal: I don't know, a lot of people didn't really like that movie.Captain: Hmmm, well, she was better in that one.(watches for a few more moments and walks away)New Westminister
Vancouver
Canadia [Link]

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