John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » California is facing problems relating to the increasing theft of A: Copper, B: Iron, C: Cardboard [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 23:52:41 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [50 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ahhhhhh says FML

Thursday 12 February 23:27:53 UTC 2015

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 February 23:27:52 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Vampire Teabag says FML

Thursday 12 February 23:27:51 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Mkimmi says FML

Thursday 12 February 23:27:50 UTC 2015

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dude, where's my corp? [Spiffy]

Thursday 12 February 23:22:51 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you had "less than a day" in the pool of how long it would take Costa Concordia passengers to start suing after the captain's conviction, cruise up and claim your prize [Followup]

Thursday 12 February 22:59:51 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police department posts online ad selling women's sexual services as part of sting. 65 men respond, 48 more than the police had hoped [Amusing]

Thursday 12 February 22:51:39 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "What's It Like To Be Black And Have A Famous Nazi Grandfather?" Surprisingly, this is not a Buzzfeed article [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 22:40:45 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Connecticut couple with nothing better to do builds a 500-block igloo in their front yard [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 22:08:34 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: It's time for 'What was I thinking?' starring all of you Farkers. What disasters have you been party to when it comes to preparing or serving a meal? Story time to the right [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 22:00:00 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [230 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 19 Future Stars Who Appeared on 'Gilmore Girls'

Thursday 12 February 22:00:00 UTC 2015

Some even played multiple characters on the show before making it big. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Al-Baghdadi's forces seize the Iraqi town of…Al-Baghdadi….yeah, we really should have seen that one coming [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 21:18:57 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker calls a former teacher of the year "a petty distinction." Of course, she has something to say about that [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 21:17:35 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's great to own a hot tub but ownership has its responsibilities, including regular cleaning, maintenance, and occasionally calling the police to get naked strangers out of it [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 21:08:18 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Obama "clarifies" that when he says "no ground troops" will be used in the fight against ISIS, that that DOESN'T mean Seal Team Six might not pay Abu Al-Baghdadi a visit in the middle of some very dark night [Followup]

Thursday 12 February 21:07:22 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your book "Politics and Dough: How Bread Reveals Your Politics" not selling like it should? Just get on The Daily Show. Before Jon Stewart leaves, of course [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 21:06:05 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this snooker cue tip shaper [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 February 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Coca-Cola You'll Never See On Shelves

Thursday 12 February 21:00:00 UTC 2015

There are a lot of variants of Coca-Cola these days: Vanilla, lemon, lime, cherry, even coffee and green tea flavors. Some of us probably still remember the abomination that was New Coke, the flavor "update" from 1985. Backlash was swift and severe, and Coke went back to its classic formula just months after New Coke hit shelves. But that national … [Link]

The Onion » Day Chalked Up As Loss By 10:15 A.M.

Thursday 12 February 20:57:00 UTC 2015

HARTFORD, CT—Admitting that he was unlikely to accomplish anything despite giving his best effort, local claims adjuster David Furman told reporters Thursday that he had effectively chalked up the day as a loss by 10:15 this morning.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mystery surrounds toilet fire death. Police say they have nothing hot to go on [Scary]

Thursday 12 February 20:51:39 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 1922 New York Times article claims Hitler's anti-semitism wasn't genuine. Well, that's a relief [Unlikely]

Thursday 12 February 20:36:00 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet Lauren Singer, a 23 year old who hasn't produced any trash in two years. How's your environmental footprint, slob? [Hero]

Thursday 12 February 20:35:08 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [195 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Montana Lawmaker Proposes Banning Yoga Pants

Thursday 12 February 20:31:00 UTC 2015

Republican representative David Moore introduced a new bill in the Montana legislature this week that would expand the state’s indecent exposure laws to include tight-fitting clothes, saying he believes “Yoga pants should be illegal in public,…
[Link]

Mental Floss » Missing Links: A Giant Subterranean Bike Park

Thursday 12 February 20:30:00 UTC 2015

Deep underneath Kentucky lies an abandoned mine that’s been converted into a giant subterranean bike park. * Maybe, just maybe, if you are planning to list your home for sale, you make sure that it doesn’t look like this first. * Check out some cool facts about famous Star Wars costumes. * This amusing article imagines what would have happened … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is exactly THE reason you don't overfeed your crocodile sacrificial goats and chickens [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 20:28:44 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is a REALLY bad day to live in Spain, at least if you breathe air (with pic of massive orange plume of airborne cancer) [Scary]

Thursday 12 February 20:20:57 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those extortion charges? (pic) [Scary]

Thursday 12 February 20:16:36 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So why IS everyone suddenly putting butter in their coffee, and why hasn't Starbucks created a $6.00 'Buttergrande Mocha' yet? [Strange]

Thursday 12 February 20:07:18 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "If you're ever in Dubai and see flashing lights behind you, it's best to pull over. Trying to outrun the police's Bugatti Veyron might not be the best idea." With pics and the cops' need for speed video [Cool]

Thursday 12 February 19:54:35 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arrest warrant issued for Punxsutawney Phil. In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher' [Strange]

Thursday 12 February 19:35:29 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You had me at female viagra-laced ice cream [Cool]

Thursday 12 February 19:32:58 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Floodwalls built to protect communities around New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina are holding up strong. Just kidding, they're sinking [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 19:24:21 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [39 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Hit-And-Run Driver Kills Prominent Member Of Deer Community

Thursday 12 February 19:22:00 UTC 2015

SAINT ALBANS, VT—Describing it as a terrible tragedy that has sent shockwaves throughout the region, sources confirmed Thursday that a hit-and-run driver struck and killed a prominent member of the local deer community. Reports indicate that the res…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teenager confronted by woman he was throwing chips at in British McDonalds. Actual quote: 'Don't be a farking wido.' Teen goes to social media, admits, "Aye, I am a bit of a wido" (with pics, vid and no explanation of WTF a 'w

Thursday 12 February 19:08:24 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [123 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Statshot: How Are We Ruining Valentine's Day?

Thursday 12 February 19:01:00 UTC 2015

How Are We Ruining Valentine's Day?
[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Words You Might Not Realize Come from “Love”

Thursday 12 February 19:00:00 UTC 2015

Love can be found in unexpected places—including our vocabulary. [Link]

The Onion » Man’s Food Poisoning Could Realistically Be Traced Back To Any Meal From Past Week

Thursday 12 February 19:00:00 UTC 2015

NEW YORK—Determining that not one of his recent food selections was entirely above suspicion, local man Kevin Curhan said Thursday that his food poisoning could realistically be pinned on any meal from the past week.
[Link]

Mental Floss » TV News Explains CDs in 1985

Thursday 12 February 18:42:00 UTC 2015

1985 marked the mainstream acceptance of CDs for music in the U.S.—that year, the Dire Straits album Brothers in Arms became the first CD to sell one million copies. In the TV news segment (apparently from 1985) below, we're introduced to a then-new technology and we meet some music fans who embrace it. We also hear about the tantalizing possibility … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anti vaxers don't just spread disease to your kids, they make your wallet sick too [Sick]

Thursday 12 February 18:20:56 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Facts

Thursday 12 February 18:09:04 UTC 2015

“Boarding-House Geometry,” by Stephen Leacock: Definitions and Axioms All boarding-houses are the same boarding-house.
Boarders in the same boardinghouse and on the same flat are equal to one another.
A single room is that which has no parts and no magnitude.
The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram — that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 February 18:06:02 UTC 2015

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML [Link]

FMyLife » bingalingading says FML

Thursday 12 February 18:06:01 UTC 2015

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML [Link]

FMyLife » SDCore says FML

Thursday 12 February 18:06:00 UTC 2015

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Killer Snail Hunts with Weaponized Insulin

Thursday 12 February 18:00:00 UTC 2015

Even among a group of animals as weird as snails that hunt with venomous teeth they can launch like harpoons, the geography cone snail (Conus geographus), above, is a bit of a freak. Cone snails are a large group of colorful sea snails found mostly in the tropical waters of the Indian Ocean. They break two rules that a lot … [Link]

The Onion »  The Onion Reviews 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'

Thursday 12 February 17:50:00 UTC 2015

The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' in this week's Film Standard.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Inventor designs a nearly 100% accurate fingerprint sensor that could eliminate accidental child shootings and render stolen guns useless. So of course everyone hates it [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 17:47:38 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [639 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Of the 1.3 million violent incidents reported in England and Wales in 2013 and 2014, 53 per cent occurred after one of the parties had been drinking. And alcohol was a factor in 84 per cent of all violent incidents between midnight and 6 a.m&#34

Thursday 12 February 17:31:16 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If we can have a Brian Williams lying suspension, can we not have an Al Sharpton suspension with the media also? [Misc]

Thursday 12 February 17:30:07 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [261 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even the media is tired of talking about East Coast snow disasters, so here's an article about hurricanes that will wipe them off the map [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 17:15:52 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Report: Anti-Vaxxer Parents Considering Throwing ‘Measles Parties’

Thursday 12 February 17:05:00 UTC 2015

Local media in California have reported that some anti-vaxxer parents are considering throwing “measles parties” at which unvaccinated children can come in contact with infected children in order to contract the disease and build up a natural …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Until next time Ebola fans, the US and its media circus are packing it up on your little worldwide scare [Followup]

Thursday 12 February 17:01:59 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 of Abraham Lincoln’s Favorite Foods

Thursday 12 February 17:00:00 UTC 2015

Honest Abe turns 206 today, so we’ve gathered some menu options for a Lincoln-approved birthday buffet. Enjoy. 1. Bacon According to the sixteenth President’s last bodyguard, Colonel William H. Crook, “Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln breakfasted at nine. Mr. Lincoln was a hearty eater. He never lost his taste for the things a growing farmer’s boy would like. He was particularly … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Hospitals report that sex toy-related injuries have surged since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey" [Amusing]

Thursday 12 February 16:59:30 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » TV cops act to stop Gamergate threats. Brianna Wu wants real cops to do the same [Hero]

Thursday 12 February 16:43:11 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [1273 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Brilliant Ways Tech Can Make Cooking Easier

Thursday 12 February 16:27:02 UTC 2015

Cooking can be a hassle, but the right tech can make preparing dinner a delicious breeze. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bank of England signals interest rate hike in 2016, food shortages and riots in 2017, total infrastructure collapse in 2018, cannibalistic Mad Max style hellscape in 2019 [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 16:04:00 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [76 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Florida Resort Allows Guests To Swim With Miami Dolphins

Thursday 12 February 16:00:00 UTC 2015

MIAMI—Describing it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get up close to the majestic mammals, visitors to Paradise Cove Resort raved to reporters Thursday about the hotel’s new program that allows guests to swim with the Miami Dolphins.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro tip: Before suing a restaurant for serving you fish with a hook in it, make sure you pick one that doesn't serve farmed fish caught exclusively by net [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 February 15:59:23 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [92 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Last-Ever Baseball Fan Born

Thursday 12 February 15:57:00 UTC 2015

Last-Ever Baseball Fan Born
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's how to drive your kids crazy: Sing the lyrics from Frozen. Get them wrong (w/ vid) [Amusing]

Thursday 12 February 15:55:57 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [92 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Mom Reports That Hometown Actually Has A Lot Going On Now

Thursday 12 February 15:39:00 UTC 2015

LYNCHBURG, VA—Noting the addition of some nice new shops and restaurants downtown, local mom Erica Dodson, 52, confirmed during a phone call with her daughter Ashlee today that their hometown actually has a lot going on now.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A senior Israeli rabbi revealed that he drowned a student's iPhone because of the device's supposed spiritual dangers" [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 15:09:24 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Do Male Lions Have Manes?

Thursday 12 February 15:00:00 UTC 2015

Much like the defining features on many animals, a lion's mane is all about attracting the ladies. A century or two ago, biologists like Charles Darwin postulated that lions grew a thick mane of hair around their necks to protect that vulnerable area from attacks by other lions. Over time, however, field biologists observed lion behavior (from a safe distance) … [Link]

Weird Universe » Nose Secret

Thursday 12 February 14:37:24 UTC 2015

What people will do in pursuit of beauty:

Nose Secret is advertised as "the only proven non-surgical nose job option with instant results that you can do on your own without the cost or hassle of nose surgery." By which they mean that it's little pieces of bendy plastic that you're supposed to shove up each nostril, in order to … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » My Energy Secret

Thursday 12 February 14:32:33 UTC 2015

President: Hello! What are you doing today?Director, eating canister of Planter's Peanuts: I'm eating my nuts!Atlanta, Georgia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …On My Facebook Page, but Still

Thursday 12 February 14:32:32 UTC 2015

Drone leader: Hey, Willie*, can you take care of this for me?Drone follower: No, I can't. I'm very busy at the moment. I'm… (looks around and thinks for a minute) …typing.Entropy Towers
Belco, Canberra
AustraliaOverheard by: They can crush my spirt, but they can't make me care [Link]

Overheard In The Office » This Quote Inexplicably Makes Me Nostalgic for Dark Angel

Thursday 12 February 14:32:31 UTC 2015

Bike messenger #1: Hey, you race at all?Bike messenger #2: There's no glory in racing. The only glory is on the streets.Chicago, IllinoisOverheard by: Just Let Me Sign for This [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Why? Because It’s There

Thursday 12 February 14:32:29 UTC 2015

Coworker #1: Go fist yourself.Coworker #2: You love saying that. I think we should start a national campaign using that slogan!Coworker #1: I like that idea. We just need someone who’s willing to appear on a billboard with their fist up their ass…Both coworkers: Carl*!Route 22 and Colonial Road
Harrisburg, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: Nathan [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Hey, This Actually Is Fun!

Thursday 12 February 14:32:28 UTC 2015

Voice on phone: Hi. I just wanted to ask if you’re open today?Employee: No, we’re not. I just thought it would be fun to come over here on my free day. That it?Voice on phone: … Well, that was rude [hangs up]. Cell phone store
Kansas City, Missouri [Link]

Overheard In The Office » So It Was an Accident of Sorts

Thursday 12 February 14:13:56 UTC 2015

Male manager: You weren't in another accident, were you?Female cube dweller: No. I pooped.Long Island, New YorkOverheard by: Cube Dweller [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this glossy ball [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 February 14:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Audioquest unveils most expensive ethernet cable in the world. For $10,500, company says your MP3 collection will never sound better [Asinine]

Thursday 12 February 13:39:03 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [290 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How can a Russian guy like Putin announce a cease fire in a Ukrainian fight that he's not even in? [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 13:36:52 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Why We No Longer Spike the Punch at Office Parties

Thursday 12 February 13:12:52 UTC 2015

Suit to colleague: So everyone's standing around, like they're wearing togas or something, and somebody comes over and says Julius Caesar's not wearing any clothes.Louisville, KentuckyOverheard by: Roman Naked [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman gives her kidney to a stranger. He gives back his heart [Sappy]

Thursday 12 February 13:12:49 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to the Divorce Hotel, where you can check in as a married couple on Friday and check out divorced by Sunday [Strange]

Thursday 12 February 12:56:47 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [45 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » titsmcgee says FML

Thursday 12 February 12:42:26 UTC 2015

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On the count of three, lets pretend we're all shocked to hear the Chinese herdsman who found a 17-pound gold nugget just might have it confiscated from him because it's a public 'mineral resource' [Followup]

Thursday 12 February 12:40:35 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #241

Thursday 12 February 12:31:16 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » Charles Darwin’s Views on the American Civil War

Thursday 12 February 12:30:00 UTC 2015

Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln never met in person, but they sure would have had plenty to talk about. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Abraham Lincoln

Thursday 12 February 12:15:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Overheard In The Office » That’s Great, Blanche

Thursday 12 February 12:10:36 UTC 2015

Auditor: I am a man! I have chest hair!46th St & 3rd Ave
New York City, New YorkOverheard by: Auditor #2 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're looking for a good social lubricant to serve at your next party you should try tea [Unlikely]

Thursday 12 February 11:34:19 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Offbeat Valentine's Day Traditions From Around the World

Thursday 12 February 11:30:00 UTC 2015

Lots of different countries celebrate various holidays in different ways, and Valentine's Day is no exception. Giftcloud put together this brief guide to the variety of ways people show their love in other countries. While America has chocolates and stuffed animals, other countries have anything from bay leaves to pigs. Maybe after checking out the infographic, you'll feel compelled to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Robots with 3D printers will soon make it perfectly fine for you to litter on the beach again [Cool]

Thursday 12 February 11:29:23 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian MySpace party douche Corey Worthington is back at again, now with bonus neck tattoo [Amusing]

Thursday 12 February 11:20:29 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hot chocolate is more American than apple pie because George Washington drank it for breakfast. However, disgusting as it seems, he added chili powder to the confection [Sick]

Thursday 12 February 11:15:48 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Reader Poll: What's Going on Here?

Thursday 12 February 11:06:06 UTC 2015

Peon #1: Isn't that just going to make the situation worse? Man, that's going to mess everything up over there!Commander: Well, you can't just stand in the rain and yell!Peon #2: Ha-ha! rrrghh! I hate the rain!Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DCOverheard by: El Monsoon [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Let us turn ours into a country of mushrooms" and other Best Korean slogans for 2015 [Amusing]

Thursday 12 February 10:47:10 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Charlie Sheen on Brian Williams: winning [Unlikely]

Thursday 12 February 10:35:41 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stunning footage of a suspected 'grey alien' captured by a terrified witness in Salford, Greater Manchester: "The video was posted onto YouTube by a channel called Para Truthers, which claims it was recently shut down by the government&#3

Thursday 12 February 10:17:03 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The guy behind Glastonbury Festival quests for the perfect cup of coffee, finds drinking 90 leaves him 'really, really weird that night' [Strange]

Thursday 12 February 10:13:59 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To avoid getting wrinkles, woman hasn't smiled in 40 years. She must hang out in the Fark Politics tab [Strange]

Thursday 12 February 9:02:13 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Scientists Calculate Number of Licks to Get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop

Thursday 12 February 8:30:00 UTC 2015

The world may finally know. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This may come as a shock to you, but some people are taking advantage of the free Obama Phone program (autoplay video) [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 8:26:55 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [84 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 February 8:01:09 UTC 2015

Today, my teacher announced that he'd be out for a week because he was going to Vegas. I happily said, "Woo hoo!" Then he finished his sentence by telling me it was because his dad had died. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In these tough times many people are cutting back spending on little luxuries to save a few dollars. Fuel for your airplane should not be one of those cutbacks [Scary]

Thursday 12 February 7:17:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australia's deadliest creature turns 50 [Spiffy]

Thursday 12 February 6:28:00 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Bird Talk

Thursday 12 February 6:14:17 UTC 2015

Image: Wikimedia Commons Birder William Young notes that hobbyists who look for wild birds tend to identify species as much by their songs and calls as by their plumage. One way to memorize the calls is to translate them into familiar words and phrases. “Just as many people cannot remember lyrics to popular songs without singing the melody,” he writes, “many … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Middle school students given word puzzles based on 'Fifty Shades of Grey' erotica. School district officials would not comment on whether any teachers or staff have been disciplined, though many have expressed interest [Fail]

Thursday 12 February 6:09:00 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 23 Weird Awards Somebody Has to Win

Thursday 12 February 5:20:14 UTC 2015

How smelly are your shoes? There's money in this. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 510: "Nice Beaver" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 12 February 5:01:00 UTC 2015

Farktography [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And One Theory Says Many of Them Are Now Permanently Too Hot

Thursday 12 February 4:23:08 UTC 2015

Receptionist: it's too hot. i think i might die.Boss: You will not die. People have survived thousand of years without air conditioner.Receptionist: And where are all those people now? Dead! That's where.Los Angeles, California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Almost Makes Me Sorry I Got Those Binoculars

Thursday 12 February 4:23:07 UTC 2015

Worker bee #1: As soon as he was naked he started touching himself.Worker bee #2: Oh my god!Worker bee #1: Sometimes she touches herself… but not in a long time. Every time he’s naked he diddles himself!New Hyde Park, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » He Gets Smarter When He Drinks

Thursday 12 February 4:23:06 UTC 2015

Frat boy: Gimme something like a whiskey sour but dont put Jack Daniels or anything like that in it. I dont like whiskey!Bartender: Well what you want in it instead of whiskey?Frat boy: Use Jim Beam, I fucking love Jim Beam!Evolution Nightclub
Athens, OhioOverheard by: Melvin [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Everything He Knows About Mexico He's Learned from Watching Johnny Depp Movies

Thursday 12 February 4:22:59 UTC 2015

Office guy, at the coffee line: I just came back from Cozumel! It's not like the Mexico that we hear about all the time…Bethesda, MarylandOverheard by: Nicole [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pop quiz, hotshot: Police stop you while you're carrying a bunch of cash. What happens to it? [Scary]

Thursday 12 February 3:56:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bob Simon's 60 Minutes are up [News]

Thursday 12 February 3:48:16 UTC 2015

News [link] [115 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » assholedad says FML

Thursday 12 February 3:16:13 UTC 2015

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 12 February 3:16:12 UTC 2015

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Air Down There?

Thursday 12 February 3:13:04 UTC 2015

Boss: I would totally be in a movie about farting!Lincoln Park
Chicago, Illinois [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Eating spoonfuls of cinnamon is so 2013. Today's idiot junior high kids are eating chilli powder mixed with lemon seasoning. Let's see how many ambulances respond [Dumbass]

Thursday 12 February 2:37:08 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Tonight’s Movie: Livestock and Two Smoking Barrels

Thursday 12 February 2:08:33 UTC 2015

Suit: You need to get off your ass, take control of your life, and have that stupid cow arrested before she kills me.1 Indiana Square
Indianapolis, Indiana [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's the garden variety kind of screwed, then there's stuck on a frozen Arctic rock with no transportation and no supplies kind of screwed [Scary]

Thursday 12 February 1:59:05 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Palm Beach doesn't have enough garbage, so it's going to begin importing trash from other cities in order to burn it and turn over a steady profit [Florida]

Thursday 12 February 1:39:18 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chicks nix dicks pics [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 1:32:57 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ice fishing clinic cancelled due to cold weather [Ironic]

Thursday 12 February 1:31:59 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British tank crashes into German front yard. This is not a repeat from 1945 [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 1:20:03 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That's Our Job, Michael– We're a Law Firm

Thursday 12 February 1:05:56 UTC 2015

Cubicle drone to neighbor: They don't want to be dicks. It's like they want us to be their surrogate dicks.Redmond, Washington [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Challenge: Create a realistic advertisement for Las Vegas [Photoshop]

Thursday 12 February 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Thursday 12 February 1:00:00 UTC 2015

Every week I write about the most interesting new comics hitting comic shops, bookstores, digital, and the web. Feel free to comment below if there's a comic you've read recently that you want to talk about or an upcoming comic that you'd like me to consider highlighting. 1. Darth Vader #1 By Kieron Gillen, Salvador Larroca and Eduardo Delgado
Marvel … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Disney ticket prices hit a record high. Just like every other time they raise the price [Obvious]

Thursday 12 February 0:52:11 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judas camels help thin the herd by leading shooters to feral groups in the Australian outback, say they look forward to managing Omaha Cinnabons when this is all over [Interesting]

Thursday 12 February 0:06:47 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link]

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