Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Mickey's Measles has gone international [Obvious]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » maybe? says FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML [Link]
Mental Floss » This Fish Smells Like its Food to Avoid Becoming Food
Nature is full of impressive camouflage and mimicry, from color- and texture-changing octopuses to plant-impersonating stick bugs. To us and other animals that rely heavily on vision, these creatures are masters of disguise. But some other animals hunt by scent, and being out of sight isn’t the same as being out of mind. To hide from scent-based predators and their … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Costa Concordia captain gets 16 years in the brig [Interesting]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Huffington Post envisions a bleak dystopian future where our offices will look like the interior of a defunct Olive Garden, with "offices" in spaces that once had booths. Still, it would mean that Olive Garden is gone so they got that going f
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple get trashed after night at the casino [Florida]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Winter Park residents outraged as historic, iconic landmark is demolished. Ok, not really. It was a boobie shaped strip club [Florida]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Brian Williams Suspended For 6 Months Without Pay
NBC has suspended Nightly News anchor Brian Williams from the news desk for six months as the network conducts an internal investigation into the accuracy of his reporting on Iraq in 2003, in which he claimed to have come under fire in a helicopter… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Because nothing says romance like hashbrowns scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, topped, country, and candlelit with a Diet Coke [Amusing]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Cinematic Evolution of Batman
Take a trip back through time in Gotham City with this look at Batman on film. * It started with a call. Listverse runs down 10 unsolved cases that involved a mysterious phone call. * These films are all just a few minutes too long. They’d have been better to leave the audience wanting more. I see what they’re saying … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boys are becoming "bestially minded" because *shakes magic 8-ball*… dinosaurs [Amusing]
[link] [160 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this tag somewhere unexpected [Photoshop]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man loses his home and his job to different fires in the same day. If his dog dies and his wife leaves, he'll have a #1 country hit on his hands [Scary]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Gay Marriage State By State
The Supreme Court ruled this week that gay couples in Alabama will be allowed to marry in the months leading up to its ruling on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, while other states continue to uphold bans. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stoned driving not as dangerous as drunk driving, say two studies from those potheads at the NHTSA [Spiffy]
[link] [253 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 18 Dramatic Ways to Express Yourself with Gestures, According to a 19th Century Book
In 1846, Dr. Andrew Comstock published A system of elocution, with special reference to gesture, to the treatment of stammering, and defective articulation, comprising numerous diagrams, and engraved figures, illustrative of the subject. The book was, he wrote, "designed for the use of Schools and Colleges, as well as for the instruction of private individuals who desire to improve themselves … [Link]
The Onion » Man Must Be Living With Roommates By Choice At This Point
MILWAUKEE—Noting that his income level does not necessitate sharing a single kitchen and bathroom with two other grown men, sources confirmed Wednesday that local 32-year-old Josh Redmayne must be living with roommates completely by choice at this p… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Australian police foil 'imminent' attack, which was possibly a beheading or, considering Australia, throwing a dingo at someone [Scary]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Last Line Of Obama’s Military Force Request Briefly Mentions Possibility Of 25-Year Quagmire
WASHINGTON—Following pages of subsections that would officially authorize continued airstrikes, rescue operations, and the deployment of U.S. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » While you're struggling through your boring existence for a few hundred dollars a day, here's a bull who earns $3000 per ejaculation [Interesting]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Suspicious banana hanging from a pine tree in Nebraska turns out to be a geocache [Amusing]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » TJFuentes says FML
Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML [Link]
The Onion » Scientists Working To Harness Energy Produced By Intense Fracking Debates
AUSTIN, TX—Hailing it as a promising potential fuel source with vast untapped reserves, researchers at the University of Texas revealed Wednesday that they are attempting to harness the abundant energy produced by the nation’s intense fracking… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » See the 'Wizard of Oz' Flying Monkeys Up Close
If you were anything like most children, The Wizard of Oz’s Wicked Witch of the West wasn’t the most terrifying part of the 1939 classic. No, that honor was reserved for her flying monkeys, those awful winged humanoid creatures that could swoop down and wreak havoc without any warning. Several of the primate parts were played by real people: Nikko, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Militant atheist murders three Muslim students. Fox News shrugs shoulders and hands this one off to MSNBC [Sad]
[link] [555 comments] [Link]
The Onion » eBay Shopper Struggling To Narrow Down Vast Selection Of Available Super Bowl Rings
MCALESTER, OK—Saying that he was having difficulty selecting just one item among all the available options up for bidding, local 34-year-old Carl Aldrich expressed his frustration Wednesday while attempting to narrow down the vast selection of Super… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » World's bravest veterinarians pull three teeth from Boris the polar bear [Sappy]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
guttatim
adv. drop by drop supernaculum
adv. to the last drop stillatitious
adj. falling in drops quantulum
n. a small amount or portion [Link]
The Onion » Labor Secretary Horrified To Learn Some Americans Working Jobs They Do Not Truly Enjoy
WASHINGTON—Saying he fears the number may be in the thousands or possibly even millions, U.S. Secretary of Labor Thomas Perez announced at a press conference Wednesday that he was horrified to learn some Americans are currently working jobs they do … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why you shouldn't use reviews on TripAdvisor to plan your next vacation: The Grand Canyon is "an overblown sandy ditch," Christ the Redeemer in Rio "just a concrete pillar," and the Great Sphinx is "covered in litter and next
[link] [193 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Largest U.S. Cities by Timezone: Mountain
See Also: Name the Largest U.S. Cities by Timezone: Eastern and Pacific [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That rare time when a newspaper headline just pulls into port and plows you [Amusing]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Fiddle-dee-dee! 18 Facts About Vivien Leigh
Vivien Leigh is famous for beating 1,400 other actresses to play Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind. But Leigh’s own life, filled with dramatic highs and lows, was as colorful and tumultuous as Scarlett herself. 1. She Always Knew She Wanted To Be An Actor. At age three, Vivian Mary Hartley recited "Little Bo Peep" for her mother’s theater … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Australia's oldest man is 109, and spends his time knitting tiny clothes for penguins. With awesome pics of pengies in sweaters [Spiffy]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Astronomers Discover New Planet That Really Makes Earth Look Like Shit
WASHINGTON—Calling it an unprecedented finding that fundamentally reshapes how humankind views its place in the universe, astronomers from NASA announced Wednesday the discovery of a planet that makes Earth look like absolute shit. The space agency… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pew Research says that 51% of U.S. households fall into the range of middle class. The other 49% were there until they started getting college tuition bills [Interesting]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Performance Reviews Meeting
Exec: Hey [Nick], I’ve got a question for you.
Tax Manager: Yes?
Exec: I was thinking about you while I was in the shower this morning and–
Tax Manager: You probably shouldn’t be thinking about me in the
shower [James]; you’re a newly married man.
Exec: … 123 Robert S. Kerr Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Should Hear His Rendition Of “Mary Jane Had a Little Lamb”
Four-year-old child, singing: This is the way we roll a joint, roll a joint, roll a joint. This is the way we roll a joint so early in the morning!Kindergarten
Cincinnati, OhioOverheard by: Natalie [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Dilbert Is Tragically Realistic
Engineer #1: Why does this work and the other one doesn't?Engineer #2: Because they told us to do something stupid and we did it!Washington D.C.Overheard by: TyranosaurusBex [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Stupid Airport Security
Grunt: It’s a sad day when you can’t bite someone.1056 Home Avenue
Akron, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Yeah– That's Why I Don't Work with Interns
Assistant to another: You ever have someone come up to you and give you a present from their diaper?Harrisburg, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: Topsy Krets [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Places Where Lexicographers Find Old Slang
Slang lexicographer Jonathon Green’s massive, three-volume Dictionary of Slang is the most authoritative work on the back roads and byways of the English language. His database of slang contains about 54,000 headwords collected from centuries’ worth of materials. If you include the various phrases and derivations those words participate in, the total number comes up to to 125,000. Historical slang … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: When running from the law, do not take selfies of yourself. Especially on a Greyhound bus [Fail]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Is Net Neutrality?
Will this slow down your Netflix or hike up your cable bill? We've got answers to (most of) your questions. [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Qdoba Offering Free-Burrito-For-A-Kiss Promotion On Valentine’s Day
Qdoba Mexican Grill is offering a Valentine’s Day promotion called Smothered in Smooch, in which customers who order a sauce-smothered burrito can kiss someone and get a second burrito for free. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: I paid a professional photographer to take boudoir shots of me. But I failed to take into account that I'm sexually unappealing and the photos are an embarrassment. Can I sue the photographer?" [Silly]
[link] [209 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Japan To Open World’s First Robot-Run Hotel
A theme park in Nagasaki is set to open the world’s first hotel run in large part by “actroids,” lifelike robots resembling young Japanese women that can speak in four languages, which will be used to staff the reception desk, carry lugg… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police officer crashes while driving aggressively to find aggressive driver [Ironic]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
The Onion » ‘Invisible Airwaves Crackle With Life,’ Reports Geddy Lee From Man’s Detached Earbud
‘Invisible Airwaves Crackle With Life,’ Reports Geddy Lee From Man’s Detached Earbud 
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Oh, Sorry, the Thingamajig Was Fubarred By the Whatzit and Corrupted Your Jimmyjam
Tech guy: Yeah, so I tried to open the file, and it said something, something, file can’t open, something.Client services girl: Gee, thanks, tech.1619 Broadway
New York, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This is probably way late for you caffeine jockeys, but you need to lay off the coffee before 9:30 in the morning. That and ease up in general. Something about your head assploding [Interesting]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nope takes down Central Texas weather radar [Amusing]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Totally cool video of Navy test of Tomahawk missile against ship, pigeons [Spiffy]
[link] [182 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh, nothing, just a 17-month-old, 174-pound pit bull named "The Hulk" [Sappy]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » She’ll Do Anything to Boost The Simple Life‘s Ratings
Salesman: Hello, Nicole*.Receptionist, collapsing on the floor: Oh my god! I’m throwing myself off the building!8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, MarylandOverheard by: Temporary Receptionist [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The U.S. has hit peak farmers market. Get ready for a crash [Scary]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this enormous rack [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Antlers stuck together? That's a taserin' [Strange]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Yupppp. says FML
Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alaska lawmakers want to exempt Alaska from daylight saving time because when you only get sunlight in the summer that's a good time to remove an hour of it [Interesting]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Lionlike snorer sues wall-banger
Classic headline and story from The New York Times – Jan 21, 1964.
My favorite line: "Mr. Scheir's snores of gigantic proportions are an animalistic roar, lionlike, that vibrate the rooms. The very anticipation of their beginning at about 2:30 A.M. every day has shaken my client and his wife, deprived them of sleep, injured their health, and, in fact, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Was that wrong? Should I not have had phone sex with my lesbian student? [Obvious]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cambodian Government seeks to remind children that the upcoming VD holiday is not about putting D in V [Amusing]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apple will come to a rest next to the tree today [Followup]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Son Of Surnames
[Link]
Weird Universe » Cartoon Insect with Dog’s Head
1) Multiple limbs.
2) Insect antennae.
3) Called a "jitterBUG."
4) Dog's head.
One of these things does not belong.
Original image here. [Link]
FMyLife » randomdude3890 says FML
Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't let Disney fool you: Hippos are vicious, evil, rotten, man-killing creatures [Scary]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » jackskellington says FML
Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Glenn Beck's patsy finally takes the fall [Obvious]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Never Lose Your Wallet Again With Where's Wallet
If you ever lose your phone, it's not a big deal—you can always call it, or find it with an app. But what about everything else? For those who are constantly losing their wallet, there's Where's Wallet. This wallet includes a slim sensor, which connects to your phone via an app, to ensure you never misplace it again. Here's how … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » American Idol, Xbox, Kylie Jenner, and other things older than Facebook [Interesting]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Also the Argument for Crystal Meth
Reporter: I wasn't drinking because I was depressed; I was partying so I could feel young.Mesa, Arizona [Link]
Fark.com RSS » San Francisco utility company says a severe penalty for the worker who urinated in the reservoir is their #1 priority [Followup]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Former head of the International Monetary Fund pleads: "was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" [Obvious]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Polluting the environment is so easy, even a caveman can do it [Obvious]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 88% of Americans now feel that vaccines are safe. The other 12% are the ones you see walking around with a face full of measles and trying not to fall off the edge of the Earth [Followup]
[link] [144 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you really want to be on the Alaska Commission on Judicial Conduct you probably shouldn't post a picture on Facebook of you clad only in a thin Speedo bathing suit with women in Las Vegas [Obvious]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NYPD Commissioner asks lawmakers to make Contempt-of-Cop into a felony; but don't worry about it being abused because we'll police ourselves, honest [Dumbass]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Firewielder says FML
Today, I found out the only reason my parents want me to live with them is because of the tax refund. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Colorado's total haul from medical, recreational marijuana taxes for 2014: $76,000,000 [Spiffy]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » (Almost) Everyone Can Sing
… claims a new study from researchers Steven Demorest and Peter Pfordresher, who have obviously never met me. The paper, published in a recent edition of the journal Music Perception, posits that rather than being unable to sing, most people are just out of practice. For the study, a group of kindergartners, sixth graders, and college-aged adults performed three tasks … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists say Spanish is the world's happiest language. ¿Por qué? Porque [Interesting]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Transforming Women Into Historical Figures
Three women from different ethnic backgrounds are transformed to look like their distant ancestors. The results are three completely different looking styles, showing the diversity of cultural beauty. [Link]
FMyLife » doomed says FML
Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fat Leonard's taint leaves three admirals in the crapper [Fail]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Sea Music
The lovely Irish folk tune Port na bPúcaí (“The Music of the Fairies”) had mystical beginnings — it’s said that the people of the Blasket Islands heard ethereal music and wrote an air to match it, hoping to placate unhappy spirits. Seamus Heaney’s poem “The Given Note” tells of a fiddler who took the song “out of wind off mid-Atlantic”: … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS claims Jordanian pilot Moaz al-Kasasbeh was sedated when he was burned alive. Well then, that changes everything [Asinine]
[link] [157 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » … In the Church Easter Pageant
Cube rat: Yeah, I’m going to be a giant hymen!685 Rue Cathcart
Montreal
CanadiaOverheard by: Burning Ears [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’m Wearing One Now
PETCO employee: All of the employees here love the wee wee pads. We use them all the time!PETCO
San Rafael, CaliforniaOverheard by: Housetrained [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Eh, Once It Turns Around, We'll Be Suicidal Again
Drone #1: This sucks. I think I've run out of things to do for today.Drone #2: I did that a couple of hours ago.Drone #1: No wonder the economy contracted.Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Because It's a Question on This Facebook Quiz.
Cubicle dweller with too much free time: Do you think that at the paperclip company staples are outlawed?Sarasota, Florida [Link]
Mental Floss » A Brief History of 'The Jon Stewart Show'
As Jon Stewart exits his seat on the 'The Daily Show,' we're looking back at the 1993 MTV show that helped him hone his hosting skills. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School district bans all Satanic paraphernalia. But, they've also banned Bibles, so there's that [Followup]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Because I Just Took a Couple. I Hope They Don't Mind.
Secretary to another: Do you know whose toenail clippings are in the conference room under the table?Raleigh, North Carolina [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Basically the starting gun caps self-ignited, which set fire to my shorts, which caused me to jump into the swimming pool. I was just standing there having a sandwich, and then 'boom'. It was just one of those freak, out-of-the-blue acci
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » What Else Is Available in the Nation’s Capital?
Customer: … And it’s Miss Jameson*, not ‘missus.’ Why does everyone always assume you’re married to some asshole?801 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Millions of Facebook users don't know they are on the Internets. Thank God I use Fark instead; the Internets are scary [Dumbass]
[link] [129 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » San Diego sports anchor critically injured after being shot by housepainter. At least it wasn't a trident [Sad]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ididn'tevendoanythingwrong says FML
Today, my roommates told me they want me to move out of our apartment. We would have never gotten the apartment without my credit score, and most of the furniture is mine. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brian Williams suspended six months without pay after it was revealed he will not be replacing Jon Stewart on The Daily Show as previously claimed [News]
[link] [247 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Nah, Nobody Anywhere Cares What You Say
Professor: A modern example of the peasant revolt of 1381 are the anti-poll tax riots that took place under Margaret Thatcher. She refused to work with the public, and it brought down her government. We should take a lesson from this… I hope there are no microphones in here.Skidmore College
Saratoga Springs, New YorkOverheard by: Hopes There Aren’t [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hate grocery shopping but love doing shots? Wisconsin, of course, has the solution [Spiffy]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this training session [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Doctoral student finds 100 year old lost footage of a disaster that shook Chicago. Surprisingly, it wasn't the Cubs' most recent playoff appearance [Cool]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Tea Time
Manager: [Elayne], sloppy seconds?
Co-worker: Sure. It’s not what it sounds like. She’s asking if I
want the second half of her teabag. 740 Dundas Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia [Link]
Mental Floss » Advice For Young Journalists From Decades and Centuries Past
This week, Twitter has been flooded with #AdviceForYoungJournalists, a hashtag prompted by a Felix Salmon article, "To all the young journalists asking for advice…" Salmon's piece strikes a foreboding tone ("Things are not only bad; they’re going to get worse"), and the discussion online has oscillated between the optimistic and pessimistic, the ridiculous and practical. While the news industry has … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jon Stewart announces his retirement from The Daily Show after it was revealed he didn't really save John Oliver from a burning helicopter while taking fire from a Cub Scout pack [News]
[link] [553 comments] [Link]
Archive
20 Apr 2024 19 Apr 2024 18 Apr 2024 17 Apr 2024 16 Apr 2024 15 Apr 2024 14 Apr 2024 13 Apr 2024 12 Apr 2024 11 Apr 2024 10 Apr 2024 09 Apr 2024 08 Apr 2024 07 Apr 2024 06 Apr 2024 05 Apr 2024 04 Apr 2024 03 Apr 2024 02 Apr 2024 01 Apr 2024 31 Mar 2024 30 Mar 2024 29 Mar 2024 28 Mar 2024 27 Mar 2024 26 Mar 2024 25 Mar 2024 24 Mar 2024 23 Mar 2024 22 Mar 2024 21 Mar 2024 20 Mar 2024
0 responses so far ↓
There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.
You must log in to post a comment.