Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » "A team of women dressed as fish and half-a-dozen Harry Potter lookalikes were among those whose efforts ended in glorious failure at Japan's national hole-digging championships" [Weird]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Epic_failz says FML
Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Go ahead and butter up that bacon. Trust me [Interesting]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » This Kruller May Have a Hole, But You Complete Me.
Male coworker, after being given a fresh donut: I don't think I could be anymore of your friend than I am right now.Female coworker: Yeah, it just peaked out.Washington, DCOverheard by: Doughnut King [Link]
Mental Floss » Algorithm Plots Best Path For Finding Waldo
Candlewick Press via collider If you consider Where's Waldo more of a challenge than an activity, a new algorithm has created a solution that will help you cut out all that pesky searching. Stranded at home after one of the many recent snowstorms, Randy Olson—a doctoral student at Michigan State University’s High-Performance Computing Center—wondered if he could best Slate’s supposed … [Link]
The Onion » Man Surprised To Learn High School Classmate Became Completely Different Type Of Fuckup
TACOMA, WA—Saying it was hard to fathom how much his old acquaintance had changed over the years, 35-year-old Paul Tooley was reportedly surprised to learn Tuesday that his former classmate Chris Woodward had become a completely different type of fu… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Restaurants only offer you dessert to be polite, cover up long-simmering resentment. Just like your mom [Interesting]
[link] [149 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these gang sign thrower upers [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Inside Jabba the Hutt
Slimy Piece of Worm-Ridden Filth is a great short documentary that showcases the people that brought Jabba the Hutt to life. * Mr. Buscemi will see you now. Get all tied up in this parody of 50 Shades starring film’s greatest oddball. * Can't Shout these out. Take a look at 10 very famous stains. * Don’t go crazy searching … [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Report: Charles Manson’s Fiancée Was Using Him For Corpse
According to a journalist who spoke to the New York Post, Charles Manson’s fiancée Afton “Star” Burton only planned to marry him as part of a scheme to get possession of his corpse after his death and put it on display for … 
[Link]
Mental Floss » How the 'Game of Thrones' Dragons are Created
Warning: Contains images of dragon violence against computer-generated goats. [Link]
FMyLife » krh14 says FML
Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A year after a toxic leak contaminated drinking water for 300K residents, West Virginia lawmakers are considering weakening chemical tank safety laws and protecting the coal industry from enforcement of water quality standards [Asinine]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Since the dawn of the space age, we have sent our best and brightest into space, but now we're recruiting weirdos and hoping they don't come back [Interesting]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » British university builds straw houses next to existing brick homes, claims they will meet fire & wolf codes [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ice quakes threaten Minnesota. Syfy channel shrugs, says they told us so [Interesting]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Dubai Unveils Plans For World’s Largest Human Rights Violation
DUBAI—Calling it the most ambitious project of its kind ever undertaken, officials from Dubai’s Department of Economic Development announced Tuesday the emirate’s plans to construct the world’s largest human rights violation. Set t… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jordan sending strongly worded army to Daesh [Followup]
[link] [231 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The History of the Conversation Heart
Valentine's Day means chalky candy hearts with a lot to say. But what's behind these very loud little candies? [Link]
Mental Floss » 17 Bizarre Work-Related Ailments
Today's work-related ailments have nothing on these historical diseases. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Find out if you live in a meth home. And no, it's not as easy as counting your teeth [Florida]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: caught in freezing water. Good: while in a training program for ice rescue, so you can serve as an impromptu training exercise for the rest of the class. Bad: who fail [Scary]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Literary Study Finds All Modern Narratives Derived From Classic ‘Alien Vs. Predator’ Conflict
OXFORD, ENGLAND—Explaining how the timeless clash between the two sides remains among the most elemental forms of storytelling worldwide, a study published Tuesday by researchers at Oxford University has concluded that virtually all modern narrative… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Missing Minnesota canoer found dead in Everglades. Probably should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque [Florida]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Saudi historian claims U.S. women drive cars because they don't care if they're raped. Which leaves us to imagine why Saudi men drive [Stupid]
[link] [194 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Private pools, personal jets, and baby lions on the dash of your Porsche – all on this week's episode of Rich Dicks [Asinine]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » UK hardware store tells staff to ready themselves for a huge surge in customers looking for rope, cable ties and masking tape, following the release of Fifty Shades of Grey [Interesting]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » A Late Contribution
A ghost co-authored a mathematics paper in 1990. When Pierre Cartier edited a Festschrift in honor of Alexander Grothendieck’s 60th birthday, Robert Thomas contributed an article that was co-signed by his recently deceased friend Thomas Trobaugh. He explained: The first author must state that his coauthor and close friend, Tom Trobaugh, quite intelligent, singularly original, and inordinately generous, killed himself … [Link]
Mental Floss » Video Shows Phases of the Moon from its Dark Side
We got our first glimpse of the far side of the moon in 1959, and now, 56 years later, NASA is giving us another look—and it's incredible. Using data from the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter, the agency has created this animation, which shows the phases of the far side of the moon from two views: First is a telescopic view, with … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man trying way too hard to get laid perfects the art of making music come out of any physical object [Strange]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists create a window that muffles outside noise but lets in fresh air so you can appreciate all the exhaust fumes on your street without hearing your neighbors yelling at the alley cats having sex [Spiffy]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The problem with having a 24/7 live video stream at a picturesque beach? You might accidentally film a man being eaten by a shark [Followup]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here are the worst real estate photos ever taken, in case you're looking for a place where your full-sized pig can drink out of the toilet that was thoughtfully installed in your carpeted living room [Amusing]
[link] [119 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pilot program to curb underage drinking launched at North Carolina universities. Which pretty much takes away the only reason to ever go to college in North Carolina [Unlikely]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 18 Things You Might Not Know About 'SCTV'
The famous Second City improv troupe had a great TV show of their own. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The bizarre story of the dead Argentine prosecutor gets weirder as officials believe his death was part of an attempted coup. Obviously, a kook's coup. A kook's coup [Followup]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boston-area transit, schools shut down Tuesday after record snowfall. In other news, milk and bread distributors spotted high-fiving each other, lighting cigars with $100 bills [Obvious]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » U.S. Airways Flight 1825 now arriving in Houston at Gate 13….Gate 14…..Gate 15 [Scary]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lawyers: When the Concordia hit the rocks, brave Sir Schettino bravely ran away [Unlikely]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is that $105 worth of pork loins in your pants or are you just happy to see me? [Dumbass]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police respond to reports of suspected cat burglar, discover 8-pack of daaawwww instead [Sappy]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Is Vocal Fry?
You may have heard of the hot new linguistic fad that’s creeping into U.S. speech and undermining your job chances. [Link]
The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of February 10, 2015
ARIES: Remember, when potential employers ask you what your worst quality is, you're bound by law to mention all those poor, poor nurses. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A great-grandfather's body could be exhumed from a cemetery because the relatives of a Muslim man buried in the neighbouring plot have complained that he is an unbeliever" (pics) [Weird]
[link] [175 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Area Woman Not Good Enough Artist To Justify Eccentricities
SANTA FE, NM—Admitting they could understand such oddball behavior from someone with an amazing creative vision, sources close to area painter Dina Paulson told reporters Tuesday that the 34-year-old woman is not nearly a good enough artist to justi… 
[Link]
The Onion » Opinion: You Will Be My Everything (by Smoove B)
By Smoove B 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boston will dump excess snow into harbor. Because that's their solution to everything [Followup]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It must be nice to live in Canada where the most pressing issue is if government employees should wear ethically produced uniforms [Interesting]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Top USAID contractor IRD defends using government money to buy Redskins season tickets, saying that the Redskins qualify for disaster aid [Misc]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ime travel. Quantum experiment proves t [Cool]
[link] [153 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this icing on the 'scape [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Ingenious Ways to Exercise Your Brain When You're Stuck Inside
As the winter keeps going, it’s easy to find yourself spending more and more of your evenings in the comfort of your home. Just because you aren’t willing to brave the cold, however, doesn’t mean you don’t have plenty of options to keep your brain on its toes. Here are a handful of fun ways to exercise your mind without … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "An electrician who turned to hypnotherapy to get over his paralysing fear of rats had his phobia dramatically tested when he came across a 10-inch rodent in a fuse box" (pics, but you've been warned) [Scary]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The hen that laid an egg shaped like a light bulb
Rural electrification brought many benefits. But one of its stranger effects occurred on the Kentucky farm of Albert Clark in 1939. One of his hens stared and stared at the new light bulb hanging in the hen house, as if hypnotized by it. Then she laid an egg shaped like a light bulb. Clark sent the egg to the Rural … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Yeah, Human Biology Really Is Creepy
Coworker #1: I think it's creepy you kiss your dad on the lips. It's like making out with your father.Coworker #2: Why do you think that's creepy?! I'm his daughter! His sperm is inside of me!St. Louis, Missouri [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Look Who's Squawking Was a Disappointing Sequel
Lady: You know, birds squawk when they aren't getting any.
Man: Yeah, I know what you mean.
(ten minutes later)
Man: (squawking around office) Santa Barbara, California Overheard by: let there be DAVE [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Cut Checks
Manager: They really need to pay this month’s rent ’cause I lost their money order last month and that makes them 2 months behind. 108 North Belvedere Boulevard
Memphis, Tennessee [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Gold and Sparkly? Really?
Boss: Ah, you’re wearing a tie-dyed shirt.Office girl: Isn’t it nice?Boss: Yeah. Hey, doesn’t that circle remind you of Jake’s* asshole?Office girl: Wait, what?Philadelphia, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Seriously, Ladies, Get Off the Steroids Before It's Too Late
Male buyer: Did you take care of Tina's Johnson?Female buyer: (blank stare)Male buyer: Well, that didn't sound right now, did it?Melbourne, FloridaOverheard by: Cupcake [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work
Manager: Why are you guys just sitting there? What’s going on?
Underling: I’m helping her with her mouse. It looks like her computer froze.
Manager: Well, you shouldn’t let it get so cold. 8484 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Ringtones
Worker bee: Does Anal Cunt have a MySpace page?1500 Sansom Street
Philadelphia, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: dmac [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2000 Years Old and Still a Virgin
Holy roller #1: He has a Jesus hat on. He looks really WT today.Holy roller #2: Praise him.Holy roller #1: Is that his wife? I think it is.Holy roller #2: ‘Thin-lipped, snake handling Jesus freaks,’ I can hear her shrieking already. I wonder if they speak in tongues… Durka durka blah blah burble burble…Holy roller #1: That’s what it sounded like. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Candy Hearts: Portending the end of civilization as we know it [Sad]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Girl Scout sets up outside marijuana dispensary once again to sell cripplingly addictive substances to poor, unsuspecting potheads [Amusing]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Republican lawmaker is in favor of less government regulation like requiring alarm company owners and installers to undergo criminal background checks [Asinine]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Aspen Police Department: If you try to roll a joint at a bus stop, we will kick your ass (video has Not safe for work language) [Asinine]
[link] [170 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » San Franciscans are pissed after watershed employee is caught relieving himself in a reservoir [Stupid]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Sorta Like a Spear
[Link]
Mental Floss » Sorta Like a Spear
[Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Father of the Year contender has 26 kids by 15 different women, blames his former job as a pub bouncer: "I was a doorman and you get to pick the 'pick of the ladies' if you like, or whatever you want to call it, and any doorman will tell
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Bookkeeping and You
More patented boredom for your snooze-inducement. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Giving whole new meaning to the term "Chopper." the US Army once tried to arm its transport helicopters with giant 1200-barrel super-shotguns to clear landing zones of Viet Cong insurgents [Cool]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Arizona lawmakers want to outlaw all federal gun laws. What could go wrong? [Silly]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » One Can Never Be Too Thin or Too Rude
Thin woman, abruptly: How much do you weigh?Normal woman: Um… 53 kilos?Thin woman: Huh. You don't look it. (walks away)Melbourne
Australia [Link]
Mental Floss » This Artist Dunks Books and Other Objects Into Gloss Paint, With Awesome Results
Artist Shane Bradford is known for submerging a variety of household objects into paint emulsion. By letting the paint dry, thicker drops fall from the object, creating a cool effect not unlike icicles. The result makes his art look like it's melting—in the best way possible. Most interesting (in my opinion) are his books. The artist will painstakingly dip books … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » BRB, getting #fired from this job before I even start. #YOLO [Fail]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Was Just You Farting, I Suspect.
Office guy: Do you hear that sound? Do you hear it? That's the sound of my soul being sucked out of my body every time we go over these reports.Accounting gal: Yeah, but this one…Seattle, Washington [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Roll Pride [Followup]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » EMTGirl'sLife says FML
Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML [Link]
FMyLife » LunaCrow says FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Study Shows All Languages Skew Towards Happiness
Yes, even on Twitter, more words—of all languages—are positive than negative. A team of scientists at the University of Vermont and The MITRE Corporation set out to test the 1969 Pollyanna Hypothesis—which posited that human language skews positive, indicating a overall optimist outlook—by tracking many billions of words across 10 languages and 24 types of sources including books, news outlets, … [Link]
FMyLife » brazo667 says FML
Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML [Link]
FMyLife » tirf says FML
Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brands are not your friends. McDonald's will not help you move. Coca-Cola's feelings are not actually being hurt by twitter pranksters. Apple isn't going to sleep with you if you spend all night raving about the iPhone 6 on the Geek tab [
[link] [184 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » “The Mostly German Philosophers Love Song”
By Colorado classics teacher Jeremy Boor: MP3, lyrics, and chords are on his website. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Doesn’t Take Much to Offend People in Ohio
Female tech worker #1: I need muffins.Male tech worker: I’ve got muffins.Female tech worker #2: I bet you can have some of [male tech worker]’s muffins.Female tech worker #3: All together now…Male and females #2 and #3: Dirrrty!5990 West Creek Road
Independence, OhioOverheard by: Geek Times Infinity [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He's Still Breastfeeding
Female coworker: How old is your girlfriend's son?Male coworker: 17. He sometimes sleeps in bed with her.Female coworker: What? What?!Hollywood, CaliforniaOverheard by: Grossed Out [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You're Forgiven, Santa.
Coworker to office: Woo-hoo! I'm almost done with my list! Then I'm going to have a little party with myself! Um… That didn't sound good.Seattle, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » K-Fed's Custody Testimony, in a Nutshell
Gossipy secretary: I don't mean to say she's a moron, but she's a moron.New York City, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » My Mind Actually Projects It onto the World
Boss: You got hypnotized by the screen saver?IT guy: No, I’m watching porn. This is the only screen no one else can see.Exeter
United Kingdom [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The future of transportation – as imagined in the 1940s [Amusing]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » BadLuckB1118 says FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are not speaking to each other because I ate a pickle. This is a common problem. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One of the wildest police chases in years just ended in Los Angeles, four major collisions on the first vehicle, carjacked a second until car wedged in, suspect shot while attempting another carjacking (with video recap) [Scary]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Company wins million-dollar prize for a drone that crashes into things [Cool]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » At Least I'm Still Fertile
Coworker #1: So he said “I don't know why humans aren't having children, but this stork sure tastes good!”Coworker #2: Ha! That's funny!Coworker #3: I don't get it. Where's the joke?Coworker #2: Retard.Manhattan, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Michigan's bald eagles are more fireproof than ever [Interesting]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Zero and pregnant [Interesting]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brian Williams responsible for WTFark [Amusing]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Boss Man Gets a Little Too Thorough with the Q-Tips
Boss: It's cold in here. I think there's a draft. Do you feel a draft?Suit: No. It's all in your head.Jersey City, New JerseyOverheard by: Hobo Whisperer [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man tries, fails to lure underage girls with his "FREE CANDY" van ploy [Florida]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'The Big Lebowski'
In the early drafts, The Dude was supposed to be the heir to the Rubik’s Cube fortune. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just your basic everyday story of a woman who quits her job, travels to the Amazon, marries a tribesman, and becomes Queen (Not safe for work images in article) [Spiffy]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lesbian couple get into sticky sperm fight [Misc]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kim Jong-Un: Best Korea has a stealth hoverboat that runs on unicorn auras [CSB]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » “Carrying a Torch” Is a Bit Different in New York
CTO: You've got welding going on, in your pants… and that's probably not a good idea.Manhattan, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You're not going to believe this, but Brian Williams probably wasn't terrorized by gangs while staying at the Ritz-Carlton [Obvious]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Colorado State Board of Education proposes eliminating science from state high school graduation requirements. Do you want more anti-vaxxers? Because that's how you get more anti-vaxxers [Scary]
[link] [187 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Women.
VP: They’re all doable. We’re just not able to do most of them.Norwalk, ConnecticutOverheard by: Cautiously Optimistic [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pop up [Photoshop]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A legitimate good idea to the left, all the reasons it will never work to the right [Interesting]
[link] [166 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Medical board votes to strip license from Ohio gynecologist who helped his patients find their "G-spot." Wait, was that wrong? [Sick]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Neil Armstrong's Widow Finds Forgotten Trove of Apollo 11 Artifacts
When he returned from the 1969 Apollo 11 mission—in which he became the first man to walk on the moon—Neil Armstrong brought with him a white cloth bag. In the bag was, he said in the mission transcripts, "just a bunch of trash that we want to take back." The bag sat, unseen, in Armstrong's closet for over four decades. … [Link]
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