Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » "How real is middle child syndrome?" Sigh. It doesn't matter. People only care about the youngest. Anyway, this would only get greenlit if the eldest submitted it [Interesting]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Local Los Angeles Awards Show Slated To Open For Grammys
LOS ANGELES—Calling it a great opportunity for viewers to see some lesser-known talent, event organizers confirmed this week that local Los Angeles-area awards show the SoCal Music Honors will open for the Grammys Sunday night. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Air Force launches "big change" to basic training by replacing graduation ceremony, parade with "character development" training to prepare trainees for military career, life, which seems more practical than old-fashioned cluster fark
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 45: Crossing Africa for Love
When Ewart Grogan was denied permission to marry his sweetheart, he set out to walk the length of Africa to prove himself worthy of her. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll find out whether Ewart’s romantic quest succeeded. We’ll also get an update on the criminal history of Donald Duck’s hometown, and try to figure out … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If the DoHS budget doesn't pass, only about a quarter of their employees will have to find real work [Amusing]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this diver [Photoshop]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jordan applies afterburners to ISIS with 56 air strikes in 3 days [Spiffy]
[link] [223 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » San Jose offers free dinner, movie in exchange for ideas on resident's favorite places. Which in San Jose is either a Star Wars memorabilia show or a Star Trek convention [Spiffy]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Spider-Man off the hook for allegedly punching cop. Apparently, officials believed the "he was really an evil symbiote" story [Followup]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Science denialism is only a tiny symptom of a larger phenomenon: civilization-wide loss of AUTHORITAH [Obvious]
[link] [194 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can finally consume delicious, sweet sriracha bacon jerky…but you have to brave the hipster- and foodie-clogged aisles of Trader Joe's [PSA]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The ebb and flow of baby names. Clearly, people are influenced by pop culture nonsense, which is why there have been so many Edwards and Isabellas thanks to that Twilight nonsense [Florida]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Second-alarm fire burns down video store. This is not a repeat from 1987 [Sad]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "My night of cuddling wasn't worth the $325 I spent on it" [Dumbass]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » irwingiggles says FML
Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML [Link]
FMyLife » OnlyAvailableID says FML
Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I'd be more worried about the chemicals in cupcakes than those in Newcastle Brown Ale." YOU CAN PRY MY DING DONGS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS [Interesting]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Round fire burns eleven square miles. Solve for the circumference [Scary]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Didn't win that $360 million Powerball last night? Don't feel too bad, nobody else did either. Tuesday's drawing now at $450 million, which would get your spring off to a nice start [Misc]
[link] [183 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New England braces itself for SNOWMAGEDDON III: PAYBACK as more than a foot of snow is forecasted for the area, and when that's done, the bigger cold sets in. Brace yourselves; winter is coming. Again [PSA]
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Skinny jeans, high heels, nylon underwear and other fashion mistakes that are harmful to your health [Obvious]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Student put in isolation over charity head shave released after four days – and £18,000 richer for charity. Thanks to all Farkers who donated [Followup]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Duckzy says FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Oog Bongo Walsco Fringo
Crazy eyes!
Source: Radio Electronics magazine – April 1952
[Link]
Mental Floss » Tonight on HBO: 'The Jinx'
Starting tonight (Sunday, February 8 at 8pm) on HBO, The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst begins its six-episode run. Here's a short trailer to get you started: The Inevitable Serial Comparison The Jinx is a serialized documentary about true crime, presented in six episodes. It follows Robert Durst, member of a wealthy family of New York City … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Target employee teaches teenager how to tie a necktie after he asks for a clip-on, also suggests pork pie hat, sunglasses, and half pack of smokes to complete the look [Sappy]
[link] [267 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "So did you do anything interesting today as a firefighter?" "I had to save a horse from a bathtub" [Weird]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The thing that makes cockroaches so adorable is that they each have their own distinct unique personality [Spiffy]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » joarasmi says FML
Today, I got my nose broken while my girlfriend tried to show me what a "Brazilian lapdance" is. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this eye for fashion [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Royal Corgis
The reign of Queen Elizabeth II's corgis is coming to an end. * Craft beer novices, here's the scoop on porters and stouts. * While some scientists will adamantly champion facts and reason above superstition, these five historical geniuses managed to believe in both science and magic. * Elgin Park, USA is a quaint little American town—extremely little, in that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: The Beer Run [CSB]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Jail-Jamas
Original ad here. (Page 2) [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Just Wanted Him to Look His Best For That Fruit of the Loom Audition
Boss: Did you draw on my banana?Hofstra University
Long Island, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Finally Had to Pretend to Be Dead
Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.Avionics Shop, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » In Death Everyone Gets a Little Classier
Laywer: So you were locked in a room that had a gas leak?Client: Yeah. Man, we was trying to get out quick as we could. I mean, if we didn’t make it out when we did, we could’ve been sophisticated!Lawyer: Asphyxiated?Client: Whatever.Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Cancel New Headset Order
Employee: My headset for my phone doesn’t work. Can I have a new one?
Supervisor: Let me see that. Oh…you see what’s wrong? Sometimes the data can get caught in the phone line…so just straighten the cord. That makes the voice data come through more quickly and it won’t get all caught up. 11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why Women Get Lost and Need to Ask for Directions
Girl on cell in hallway: I tend to go wherever my nipples lead me.Alpharetta, Georgia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ground breaking… um… linguistic… uh….. study finally…uh.. explains….um …. something or other. Uh? [Stupid]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Moep20 says FML
Today, I had an oral exam on orthopedics and rheumatology. I aced the first part, with the nice professor. The other one seemed much stricter, so I was nervous. He looked at me and asked the first question. My response? Crying and a panic attack. I actually knew the right answer. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Oompa-Loompas Kept Hitting on Me
Female coworker: I used to spray tan, but they make you orange and then you smell like Chinese food.Male coworker: Good Chinese food or bad Chinese food?Female coworker: Not the good kind. And then it gets all dark in the creases, and you get jaundiced knees…Male coworker: Just what every man wants…the munchies and a sickly white woman.Female coworker: I wanted … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stolen 3-month-old kitten returned with apology note, pieces of thief's jugular in claws [Strange]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Mutual, Um, Funds…Yeah…
Intern: I'd tap that.Boss: What?!Intern: I mean…I'd like to talk about mutual funds with that.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can add tree trimming to jobs you shouldn't attempt while on ecstasy and meth, even if you're a trained professional [Fail]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I'm Bingeing for Two, You Know
Pregnant manager: Are those peanut butter eggs, or just chocolate eggs?
Account exec: They're some of each. But we're not telling you which is which.
Pregnant manager: That's okay. I'll just eat them all. Augusta, Georgia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Leonardo da Vinci's resume makes yours pale in comparison [Obvious]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
By W.A. Shinkman. This is a self-mate in two moves: White makes a move, Black is allowed to make any legal reply, then White plays a second move that forces Black to checkmate him. Click for solution … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up live at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of eclectic music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by a farker [Spiffy]
[link] [234 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you're going to shoot another teenager to death, don't take a selfie with the body and send it to a friend [Fail]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML [Link]
FMyLife » gali-ma says FML
Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No espresso for you, sir, as it looks like you've already had too many shots [Scary]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: Water floods city. Worse: Boiling water floods city [Scary]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Winter Battle of the Masurian Lakes
Greatwar.nl The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 167th installment in the series. February 7, 1915: Winter Battle of the Masurian Lakes Following Russia’s disastrous defeat at Tannenberg, the Eastern Front began to look like a … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why Do You Keep Winking at Me?
Professor #1: I'm going to go home and collapse. I'll be back online later this afternoon.Professor #2: How was the conference?Professor #1: Oh, it was great. It was in Canada, so all the faculty were about smoking pot and nude beaches.Professor #2: We have a beach! We have faculty!Cleveland, OhioOverheard by: blackmail [Link]
Overheard In The Office » At Camp Marion Barry
Military personnel: Adam* looks like hell this morning — like he was smoking crack all night. Adam, you are a civilian, right?Adam: Yes.Military personnel: Ah, then it’s alright. You don’t get drug-tested like us. Smoke all the crack you want.Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Without Laughing My Ass Off
Coworker angrily hanging up: Geez! What is wrong with these customers?! I’m trying to watch a colo-rectal comedy on UTUBE!2600 Van Buren Street
Norman, OklahomaOverheard by: Nina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work
Worker #1: How was your weekend?
Worker #2: Good. I almost got married; the usual. 393 Broadway
New York, NY Overheard by: Jess McGins [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM Halloween Party
Boss: …and I need a costume. I need to go dressed like a king and then I am going to a concert afterwards. I can go as any old king, Old King Cole, Nat King Cole…that would be great! I just have to have enough time to get the make-up on my face. 444 Park Ave South
New York, NY … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good people of Alabama want judges to only recognize the Biblical definition of marriage, which technically means if a man is at war and catches a woman he is allowed to marry her as long as her head is shaved [Unlikely]
[link] [249 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML [Link]
FMyLife » juliette says FML
Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Helpful Anywhere in the World
Worker bee #1: Five second rule!Worker bee #2: I’m from India. I can digest toxic waste!D’Onofrio Drive
Madison, WisconsinOverheard by: Minx [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass Orangutan baby born in Berlin zoo. With ugly-ass pictures [Sappy]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this return to the mother of his land [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Colombia's FARC request Miss Universe to attend peace talks. Keg of Heineken presumably next on the demands list [Obvious]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man charged for a 1987 murder in August of 2014 and then released gets arrested again after police change their minds [Florida]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch
CSR: Oh my god. I just spilled soup on my glasses! I was eating soup and it splashed on my face. 1005 17th Street
Denver, Colorado [Link]
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