Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » The first and possibly only time the words "anal vapor" appeared in the Congressional Record [Amusing]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Or, Even Better– Play Boggle?
Rep #1: I hope we won't be bored today.Rep #2: Don't worry, I brought things to entertain us.Rep #1: Does that mean you are finally going to sleep with me today?Sarasota, FloridaOverheard by: Scared of entertainment [Link]
FMyLife » itsemilyc says FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » This Website Will Tell You What Book to Read Next
If you, like me, have ever finished a book and thought, "What should I read next?" then the aptly-titled website WhatShouldIReadNext.com is for you. Enter in a title, author, or ISBN number, and the site analyzes reviews and ratings from other readers and recommends books. This, as it turns out, is a really fun game for any bibliophile. When I … [Link]
The Onion » Neighbors Come Together To Watch BMW Owner Struggle In Snow
EVANSTON, IL—Putting aside their own responsibilities and quickly gathering at their neighbor’s driveway, Foster Street residents reportedly came together Monday to watch a BMW owner struggle to free his car from the snow. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Breaking news: some BIG bunnies have found North Dakota and are initiating takeover operations [Amusing]
[link] [155 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just $18,000 will get you your very own limited edition bottle of McDonald's thousand island dressing [Unlikely]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Women are you tired of creepy men sending you unwanted d*ck pics? Here's a way to make them pull their pants up – You're welcome [Amusing]
[link] [314 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Journey to Tomorrow
Check out the short trailer for the film Tomorrowland. In my opinion this looks pretty cool. * Get hacking by checking out the 10 most popular Lifehacker posts of all time. * Are stackable cars the future? Check out how they work here. * Well those cars may not be the future, but these amazing supermaterials might be. * Ever … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Novice bank robber learnt from a "how to" guide. Neglects to read the chapter on getaway cars [Dumbass]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "The Simpsons" Intro as Pixel Art
Watch for the dozens of references in this video. (Including Mr. Sparkle!) [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Chris Christie On Vaccines: Parents Should Have ‘Measure Of Choice’
In the wake of a measles outbreak experts believe is linked to the anti-vaxxer movement, New Jersey governor and possible presidential candidate Chris Christie said he believes that it should be a parent’s choice to inoculate their children, saying,… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » So it seems Michelangelo had more of a thing for 'luxuriant pubic hair' and inverted belly buttons [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this winter wonderland [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lamborghini Huracan for sale – $8000 or best offer [Followup]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NYPD compares drunk driving to Russell Wilson's decision to pass the ball on the one-yard line [Amusing]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Odd Things You Can Buy From Monks
Everyone knows you can buy cheese, fruitcake, and really good beer from monks, but those aren’t the only businesses that these holy men dabble in. Here are some stranger things you can acquire from them. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Sir, did you know your drivers' license is expired?" "Yeah, I kept meaning to get around to it . . ." "For thirty-seven years?" [Strange]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Not Worth a Lunch says FML
Today, my boss told me they were letting me go because they "could no longer afford to pay me." Never mind the catered lunch they had the day before, which cost more than a week's worth of my salary. FML [Link]
FMyLife » pinecones says FML
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML [Link]
The Onion » Sportsgraphic: Super Bowl XLIX Highlights
Super Bowl Sunday was full of highs and lows for football fans, with a controversial play call by Seattle Seahawks coach Pete Carroll resulting in a narrow victory for the New England Patriots. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Of course, the most logical thing to do when blocking your toilet up with potatoes is to set off the fire alarm [Dumbass]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Owney the Well-Traveled Maildog
How a globe-trotting dog defied canine-mailman relations [Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: By The Dawn's Early Bite
By The Dawn's Early Bite 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » America's criminal justice system is being reformed thanks to our collective apathy [Ironic]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn’t take his education too seriously.” — Charles F. Kettering [Link]
The Onion » Onion Poll: Should Limits Be Placed On Political Campaign Spending?
The Onion – America's Finest News Source 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Shouting 'ow' or 'ouch' reduces pain. Screaming profanities at the top of your lungs is much more satisfying though [Obvious]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » CalledOut says FML
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When hero and dumbass collide: Man steals tow truck to rescue his cars from impound, fails to realize how conspicuous he is [Strange]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Excuse me, but you can't dump your 24 cow heads here [Obvious]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Giving you measles since 2014 [FarkBlog]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Name of Vladimir Putin's daughter leaked by rival. No word yet on whether taking topless pics runs in the family [Strange]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bryn Mawr college officially adopts "no fat chicks" policy [Silly]
[link] [157 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you want radioactive goats? Because this is how you get radioactive goats, Lani [Strange]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Brings Lunch From Home To Cut Down On Small Joys
RICHMOND, VA—Speaking with reporters while opening Ziploc baggies of pretzel twists and baby carrots, local man Stan Keppler said Monday that he has started bringing in lunch from home to cut down on his small joys. 
[Link]
The Onion » God: ‘Fuck Russell Wilson’
THE HEAVENS—Following the game-ending interception against the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLIX, God Almighty, Creator and Supreme Ruler of the Universe, confirmed Monday that He “can’t fucking stand Russell Wilson” and that… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you store millions of boxes of paper public records in a warehouse, you may get a fire that requires 300 firefighters from 55 companies, a marine unit, and more than a week to fully extinguish [Scary]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Yet again, Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of winter. Handlers predicting groundhog burgers if he does it again next year [Cool]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Got any idea how to free a truck frozen in ice up to the axles? "Wait for spring" is a bad option since the truck is in the middle of a lake [Misc]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oregon strippers lobby for better working conditions, ban on dollar coins, signs reminding people to stop swiping their cards in every slot they see [Interesting]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The only thing more depressing than the Seahawks' last play in Super Bowl XLIX were the commercials, though it was clear Nationwide's decision to murder a child was the worst [Followup]
[link] [282 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 2, 2015
The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 2, 2015 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Super Bowl XLIX
[Link]
Mental Floss » A Chronological Compendium of Watches From Pop Chart Lab
When the Apple Watch debuts this April, it will join a tradition of stylish wrist-bound time-keeping that spans many hundreds of years. Pop Chart Lab's latest poster pays homage to that esteemed history of the wrist watch with a chronological compendium of 47 historically and aesthetically significant examples of laudable timepieces, starting with a Spherical Table Watch from 1530, leading … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wife of hedge fund billionaire Ken Griffin wants $1 million a month in child support, because you never know when your kid has a report due on the Eiffel Tower and you just have to make a quick flight to Paris [Asinine]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird, February 1, 2015
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M408, February 1, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
The Project Theater Board at Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley, Mass., decided in January to cancel its upcoming annual presentation of the feminist classic “Vagina Monologues.” The all-women’s college recently declared it would admit males who lived and “identified” as female … [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Odd Jobs From the World War II Military Classification Guide
Click on the History Channel or open up a high school textbook, and you might end up concluding that World War II was exclusively won by troops and generals on the frontlines, and the wills and whims of national figureheads like Franklin Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, and Joseph Stalin. The reality is—of course—much more complex, with generalists and specialists engaging in … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Always "Like A Girl" commercial causes neckbearded "meninists" to completely lose their shiat [Stupid]
[link] [560 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you come home late at night after a long day the last thing you want to find is a stranger suffering from hallucinations inside your living room [Weird]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Study Links Binge-Watching TV To Depression
A new study has found that people who binge-watch three or more TV shows at a time are more likely to be lonely and depressed, leading researchers to conclude that the practice “should no longer be viewed as a ‘harmless’ addictive behavi… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » How Accurate Are Punxsutawney Phil's Forecasts?
This morning at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, weather-predicting groundhog Phil saw his shadow, which means he's calling for six more weeks of winter-like conditions. Don't get too bummed, though—Phil's recent track record isn't that great on the national level. The tradition started in 1887, and since then, the groundhog chosen to represent Phil has seen his shadow 101 times. … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work
Coworker on phone: Listen, there’s a lot to be said for being punched in the face. 1020 19th Street NW
Washington DC Overheard by: I just work here [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 3PM Coffee Break
Receptionist: So this guy calls for [Kyle]…I give him the voice mail. I knew the next ring would be him…he calls back. “I’m trying to get ahold of [Kyle] and I keep getting an answer machine.”…Gah!…Th~ what happens when we pay 10K for a phone
system so people get their messages. So then the prick is like, “So is he … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That's Not a Nice Way to Refer to Carol from Accounting
Woman #1: How's it going?Woman #2, sighing: I'm swimming through the mess…got my fingers in the dyke.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » … Where I Went to School
Man hanging up phone: Wow, that guy had a neat accent. He said he was from the United Kingdom.Woman: United Kingdom? That’s in Florida, right?Man: No, I think that’s the Magic Kingdom…Woman: Oh, you’re right! United Kingdom is in Kentucky.Spartanburg, South CarolinaOverheard by: Service Dispatcher [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Can’t Compete with That!
Boss: No, trust me. The last thing you want to do is bring your spouse on a company Las Vegas trip. You’ll be divorced by the time you get home.Salesman: Oh, really?Boss: You know, because of all the drugs… and hookers.Salesman: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.9633 South 48th Street
Phoenix, Arizona [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Order You to Clean It Up
Employee to boss: So, what do you do when a kid pisses on the sales floor?Los Angeles, CaliforniaOverheard by: I don’t know either [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lawyers for accused Boston Marathon bomber want his trial moved … because someone shoveled some snow [Unlikely]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Latest generation of skimmers fit seamlessly into ATM structures and use pinhole cameras to capture your info: "We've seen people sit at an ATM for 45 to 50 minutes, downloading $40,000 to $50,000 in cash," Scarince said (warning: linked
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Religious ritual hostage commits last great act of defiance, hash tags, and Serena Williams licks Maria Sharapova down under: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/25 – 1/31 [FarkBlog]
[link] [2 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In response to beheading of one their own, Japan promises "revenge" and "to make terrorists pay the full price." Don't worry ISIS, it's not like they have any history of militancy, pent up aggression or capabilities for advanc
[link] [168 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When life gives you snow, make snow ice cream. Or vegan coconut maple snow cream. Or sugar on snow. Or peppermint snow ice cream. Or spicy honey candy with sea salt. Or spiked ginger-orange sno cones. Or hot cocoa snow slushies [Cool]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mayor of Toledo, OH in critical condition after suffering a heart attack while driving, crashing into a pol–POWER VACUUM I'M IN CHARGE [Scary]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School sends students home in cold without their coats because their coats are against the dress code. Back in my day, we had to set our skin on fire for warmth [Stupid]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » TheTacoMan says FML
Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Darth Binks says FML
Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Why's it so cold in here? says FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Told You We Shouldn't Have Hired a Nun
Male teen: I sent her to get it, but you know you can't trust Lisa with cheap beer.Rogers, ArizonaOverheard by: Joel [Link]
Weird Universe » The War Against Kissing
Back in 1911, Imogene Rechtin led a campaign against kissing, as leader of the World's Health Organization (which, to clarify, had nothing to do with the UN's World Health Organization, founded in 1948). Her followers wore buttons that read, "Kiss Not." One newspaper at the time remarked, "Judging by the facial features of the presidentess of the cult appearing in … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what's showing on this old TV [Photoshop]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » German far-rightists have canceled a demonstration in the southwestern German province of Freiburg after boarding the wrong train, going 200 kilometers away from their intended destination [Dumbass]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Remind Me Again Why You’re in Charge?
Employee #1: Do we have any Band-Aids in the back?Manager, after long pause: Uh…I don’t think so.Employee #2: Oh, Susan* said we did. I need one.Manager: Um…I’m pretty sure we don’t, but I’ll look.After disappearing in the back for 5 minutes, manager comes back out to the register.Employee #1: So there were none back there?Manager: Nope.Employee #2: I’m sure there … [Link]
Weird Universe » Automatic Telephone Dialer
So this gadget stored a few phone numbers and allowed the convenience of one-button dialing. Would such functionality have been worth $360.00 even in 1978?
Original ad here.
[Link]
Mental Floss » Super Bowl XLIX
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Overheard In The Office » 12PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: Wanna go eat lunch with us? We’re having Ethiopian.
Co-worker #2: Ew! You’re going to be eating beetles and shit.
Co-worker #3: Do we have to bring our own leaf to eat off of? 214 West 39th Street
New York, New York [Link]
Mental Floss » 1,000 Vintage Disneyland Items Are Going Up For Auction
If your extensive collection of Mickey Mouse figurines is not cutting it, perhaps you need the skeleton from the original Pirates of the Caribbean ride. In honor of its 60th year celebration, Disneyland is putting some of its paraphernalia up for auction. One thousand items will be up for grabs at Sherman Oaks on February 28th. Before wealthy Disney fanatics … [Link]
FMyLife » okseñoryoucrazy says FML
Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Game of Thrones Season Five Clues
The new Games of Thrones trailer gets analyzed shot-by-shot. And 36 observations are revealed.
*
The Most Talked About Commercials From This Year’s Super Bowl. Overall, they were thought-provoking and kind of depressing.
*
The Real Christopher Robin Speaks Out. Read about Christopher Milne’s autobiography, The Enchanted Places.
*
The 10 Most Long-lived Empires in History. Some you probably never … [Link]
FMyLife » grossedout says FML
Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dog turns pair of knee-length laced boots into loafers. Link comes with an X-ray that resembles one of those Family Circus snail trails [Interesting]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man goes one better than Walter Sobchak [Sad]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You do realize it's just a matter of time before fish are born with lasers on their heads? [Interesting]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Risk Assessment
Between 1868 and 1870, Mark Twain traveled more than 40,000 miles by rail, dutifully buying accident insurance all the while, and never had a mishap. Each morning he bought an insurance ticket, thinking that fate must soon catch up with him, and each day he escaped without a scratch. Eventually “my suspicions were aroused,” he wrote, “and I began to … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Just Pretend I Am A Voter, Tell ME You Are, Then Ignore MY Wishes
Clerk: Okay, you have 12:45 and 1:45 subcommittees, AG is at 1:00, and Natural Resources is at 2: 00. I’m going to leave everything here on my desk and go do some work in the back office.Senator: Do you even think I’m listening to you?Clerk: No, not really.State Capitol
Des Moines, Iowa [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Turns Out the Company Does Sell That
Coworker: Yeah, so I'll buy a new horse that can do it, or just borrow one.Draper, UtahOverheard by: Calig [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Its Melody Is Semisweet
Trainer: ‘Charismatic.’ That’s onomatopoeic.Employee: What?Trainer: Onomatopoeic. Like, when I say ‘chocolate,’ you can hear it.Fenkle Street
Newcastle
EnglandOverheard by: Kaethe [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Did I Mention That I Won’t Be Wearing Pants?
Employee #1: So basically, I’m going to wear a shirt that says, ‘Ghouls Gone Wild’ on it.Employee #2: You can’t do that! You have to dress slutty!Sixforks and Strickland
Raleigh, North CarolinaOverheard by: Heather [Link]
Overheard In The Office » See, I Kinda Want to Know What It Is Now…
Boss #1 to new lab worker: Okay, now we add the virus supernatant.Boss #2: What are you doing now?Boss #1: Adding the virus supernatant.Boss #2: Oh… What is that?Boss #1: Virus supernatant.Boss #2: What is that?Boss #1, irritated: Virus supernatant!Boss #2: But what is it?Boss #1: Virus supernatant!Lab worker #1 to boss #2: Hey, Lou*, what is that? Is it virus … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tag implodes [Ironic]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sex sells. Too much sex never gets a chance to sell, leaves you limp like a dishrag (Not safe for work) [Amusing]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One in three kids today is a total bastard [Sad]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Uncle Fester? Rowr!
Cube rat, out of the blue: I don't understand why everybody made such a big deal out of the Addams Family being so weird. I would totally go live with them!Tulsa, Oklahoma [Link]
Overheard In The Office » This Just In: Bon Jovi Fires Insurance Agent
Insurance agent on phone: Garbage? You said garbage? But if it’s garbage, why would you need to insure garbage??East Little Creek Road
Norfolk, VirginiaOverheard by: kim [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman misdials number, offers the man who answered lots of drugs. Unfortunately for her, the man who answered was a detective. How hard is it to dial 912? [Dumbass]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Self-styled Kansas 'seer' faces murder trial for death he predicted, but he apparently didn't see this coming [Fail]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy lying down [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Many Bosses Communicate Only by Email
Boss interrupting employees: What’s going on?Girl employee in middle of conversation: Are you circumcised? [Boss turns and leaves, shaking his head.]4th Street
Louisville, KentuckyOverheard by: Amazed Colleague [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Putting as many people as possible in a VW Beetle. New hotness: Putting 4 dead deer and 4 passed out drunks in a Mini Cooper (Some graphic images in article) [Florida]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When artillery fire hits the building where forces have been monitoring the ceasefire between Ukraine and Russian forces/rebels, perhaps it is time to admit that there is no ceasefire [Obvious]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Giant American Flag Draped Over Entire Stadium During National Anthem
Giant American Flag Draped Over Entire Stadium During National Anthem 
[Link]
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