Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Biggest bootstraps in the Motor City [Cool]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Bar Patron Can’t Believe He’s Partying With Rob Gronkowski 15 Minutes Before Kickoff
GLENDALE, AZ—Admittedly shocked to be seeing the three-time Pro Bowler in person, local 31-year-old Jason Howe expressed his astonishment Sunday after partying at the same bar with New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski just 15 minutes before… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » FAA declares a 30 mile radius "no drone zone" around Super Bowl. Didn't know those Radio Shack toys had that much range [Strange]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know privatized prisons are a horrible idea when even Sheriff Joe Arpaio is concerned about the inmates in them. "I would be happy if no one came back to jail, but I don't think a private prison would be happy if no one came back" [In
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! says FML
Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML [Link]
FMyLife » FuckfaceSteve says FML
Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boss explained that the company will be letting me go. She got so upset that she couldn't leave her office and I had to console her. I had to make her feel less sad for laying me off. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Grandfather who "hated" pigeons is killed by them [Scary]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 44: Ballooning to the North Pole
In 1897, Swedish patent engineer S.A. Andrée set out in a quixotic bid to reach the North Pole in a hydrogen balloon, departing from Norway with two companions and hoping to drift over the top of the world and come down somewhere in the Bering Strait. Instead the expedition vanished. In this episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll learn … [Link]
The Onion » Friend Shows Up To Super Bowl Party Wearing Eagles Jersey For Some Reason
Friend Shows Up To Super Bowl Party Wearing Eagles Jersey For Some Reason 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man charged in necrophilia case, is hoping for the death penalty [Weird]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Argument between a few horseback riders and a pickup truck driver ends with the pickup ramming one of the horses, killing it and injuring the rider [Florida]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Responsible Gambler Builds Diverse Portfolio Of Super Bowl Prop Bets
LAS VEGAS—Emphasizing the importance of evenly distributing wagers in order to optimize potential earnings, 34-year-old veteran gambler Eric Whitman told reporters Sunday that he always makes sure to build a diverse portfolio of Super Bowl-related p… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sending cops to the scene of a prescription pill theft before the theft isn't normal, but on prescription pills it is [Fail]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman sells her son for $7,000. What the hell, lady? That's half of the KBB value of that boy [Sad]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ohio finds a unique way to encourage pregnant women to stop smoking: give them free diapers [Cool]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "There has been a fair bit of activity around these volcanoes and this sighting just adds to the mystery. There must be something about volcanoes that draws extra-terrestrials to them. Perhaps they are collecting samples to take back home" (p
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man, who wants to keep you from watching grown women have sex, has sex with children. The Aristocrats [Sick]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » With marijuana just about to become legal in Alaska, Anchorage police arrest a pot delivery driver for old time's sake [Stupid]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Go celebrate your son's birthday somewhere else [Asinine]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here is the Civil War… in colorized photos [Cool]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cold weather warrior [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Snakes in the car? No problem, pull over… it's like checking the oil [Scary]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas elementary school suspends 9-year-old/Hobbit who claimed to possess "the one ring to rule them all" for making "terroristic threats" [Amusing]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Swastikas painted on Jewish fraternity house in: A.) Berlin, B.) Mississippi, or C.) UC Irvine? [Scary]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "University of Nebraska Lincoln will not participate in Meatless Mondays. It's unnatural and, quite frankly, disgusting. Vegans would be less pretentious if they just ate a f*cking steak" [Hero]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you [Spiffy]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » During Obama's tenure, an ever-increasing number of people are living mortgage-free [Sad]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » SNOWPOCALYPSE II has struck, paralyzing Chicago, canceling hundreds of flights at O'Hare and Midway. The Midwest is used to snow, but not like this. And New England? No one knows. It's your Official Snow Day Discussion Thread [Followup]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh, sure, send kids who've been molested off to a big ranch once owned by a famous guy who allegedly molested children. Just perfect. Call it 'Molestyland' [Stupid]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » WHAT IF: America had never invaded Afghanistan? No, it's not a Marvel Comics event [Strange]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mugging victim has £165k (and counting) pledged after beautician starts a Go Fund Me campaign for him. A random act of kindness and senseless beauty [Sappy]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Circumcise" and "kitchen knife" should never be in the same headline, but then again, it is Florida [Florida]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For you cheap bastards who gave up cable for your neighbor's wifi and your dad's Netflix password, you can forget juggling pirate streaming sites this year – NBC is streaming the Superb Owl in HD for free [PSA]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Plane crash, ship wreck or natural disaster with scores of unidentifiable victims? Better call John, the Tooth Whisperer [Interesting]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man stops and wonders how severe the lightning is. Then it struck him [Scary]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Lunab123 says FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School isolates student who shaved head for charity until his hair grows to a respectable length. Damn hippies [Hero]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life [Silly]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chemist who developed the birth control pill has died. He leaves behind two children, as early trials of the pill did not go all that well [Sad]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » neverleavingagain says FML
Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you think you're a true vegan you also probably think there is no way your sugar could contain bone char from cows [Sick]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There is a little animal that scientists think might be able to live forever. No, not your grandmother's blind and vicious chihuahua [Interesting]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …According to A Lady's Guide to Cultural Stereotypes
Female coworker, dancing up to counter: You know, that's the kind of dance move you normally see drag queens use.Kansas City, Missouri [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Order Supplies
Co-worker: Does anyone have a tissue?
Boss: I have a notepad. 1600 Technology Way
Latrobe, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Should Stop That Necktie from Fraying
Man: I’m going to get my thing cauterized. [Pause] Not my thing, but my thing.Primark Eastbourne
United Kingdom [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: You smell of fish!
Co-worker #2: I’ve been at a fishmongers!
Co-worker #1: Oh! I thought it was an urban myth but they actually do sell fish at a fishmongers?
Co-worker #2: …What? Commercial Road
Hull, East Yorkshire
UK Overheard by: Simon Green [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Just Don’t Put Them In the Third One From the Left; That’s For Tax Evasion
Co-Worker #1: You said if I was bored, I could go through the packing slips, right?Co-Worker #2: Sure, go ahead.Co-Worker #1: And you want me to get rid of the ones that are older than six months, right?Co-Worker #2: Right.Co-Worker #1: So throw them out?Co-Worker #2: Yup.Co-Worker #1: In the garbage?Co-Worker #2: Uh-huh.Co-Worker #1: Should I bring them out back … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Is That Tami*?
Director: Holy shit, come look at this.Sales manager: Is it that weird animal porn you keep talking about?Director: What?Sales manager: Nothing, I'm kidding, what is it?Director: I'm trying to get to a government website and this keeps happening…Sales manager: What the fuck? Is that actually animal porn?Director: This pretty much ruined my day and I wanted to share it with you.Sales … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Kids Do the Darndest Things, Huh?
Customer, excitedly: Yeah, if I do exactly as the judge says, I’ll be off of probation in a year!Old cashier: In a year? Lucky you! My son has four years of probation.Customer: Four years? Man, that’s tough. What did he do?Old cashier: He shot someone! [Breaks into hysterical laughter along with the customer.]South Adams Street
Marion, IndianaOverheard by: Just wanted to pay … [Link]
Mental Floss » Minecraft + "Game of Thrones" = WesterosCraft
Winter is coming…to Minecraft. [Link]
Weird Universe » Breaks Will
A great moment in the history of 'oops': Back in 1911, a lawyer accidentally tripped and smashed the phonograph record on which Hodson Burton had recorded his final will, revealing where he had hidden his fortune. (If this lawyer was true to form, I'd guess he still made sure to submit a bill for his services.)
I wonder if Hodson … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boston's second experiment with late night transit service is Boston's second expensive failure [Obvious]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Where the hell is Slim Pickens when you need him for a mission to counter the Russians flying a nuke up the Channel? [Interesting]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Where's the Whiz?
Woman: They don't have enough cheese here.East Village Cheese
Manhattan, New York [Link]
FMyLife » Paras_800 says FML
Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these colorful canopies [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Rallying for Dwarf Planets
With scientists rallying for the five dwarf planets (yes, Pluto) to be included in the "official" planet lineup, we're going to need a bigger mnemonic. * Every year, the Miss Universe pageant revives the absurdity that is the National Costume Show, with contestants dressed in supposedly representative outfits from their home countries that might be tasteful but are more frequently … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Field Trips [CSB]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch
Employee #1: Look at all that food you have there.
Employee #2: It’s going to give me a heart attack, but I love it; especially all the greasy bacon and sausage.
Employee #3: I wish I knew someone who knows CPR in case you have a coronary.
Employee #2: [Sean] and [Gina] are medics, they should know CPR.
Employee #1: … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pastor who claims Starbucks makes "semen lattes" admits he's been "tempted" by gay lifestyle. Well, it certainly seems to be on his mind often enough [Obvious]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Tanya Tagaq
Her Wikipedia page. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "You're not vaccinating your children? Well, it's been nice being your doctor." California pediatrician lays down the law over measles outbreak [Hero]
[link] [241 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old: Car jacking someone at 4am. Florida: Carjacking a police officer for their cruiser. (w/bonus mugshot of how well that turned out for him) [Florida]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Damien really doesn't want competition for that Antichrist role, does he? [Scary]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » WalkTheOtherWay says FML
Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML [Link]
FMyLife » UnidentifiedFun says FML
Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML [Link]
FMyLife » cooploops says FML
Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's that one week a year when Canadians stop doing chainsaw carpentry long enough to chainsaw ice sculptures (pics) [Interesting]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anti-stalking expert, 68, accused of stalking by his blonde colleague, 39 – and the victim is now using stalker's tools of smear and innuendo against him. Ironic doesn't know who to cheer for in this one [Ironic]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police conclude suspicious package is harmless after finding several tips [Strange]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Landmines kill 15,000 per year. Thanks a lot, Princess Diana [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Charles Manson is so desperate to conceive a devil child with his 26-year-old wife, he's devising a way to smuggle his sperm out of the prison [Sick]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » They bring a snowball? You bring a gun. It's the New Rochelle way [Asinine]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Webster's Dictionary defines "awkward" as this story [Strange]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » The Coin Paradox
Image: Wikimedia Commons In the top figure, one coin rolls around another coin of equal size. In the bottom figure, the same coin rolls along a straight line. In each case the rolling coin has made one complete rotation. But the red arc at the top is half the length of the red line at the bottom. Why? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour, it's the first Livingston Stapler Company Presents show of 2015. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska hosted by a farker [Cool]
[link] [200 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Profiles in Scourges: Pablo Escobar
In the 1980s, Pablo Escobar's Medellin Cartel was spending $2,500 a month on rubber bands just to hold all their cash. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Raw sewage backed up and sat in puddles next to the Fan Zone at the Waste Management Phoenix Open. "Many of them walked through the dirty water, unaware of what was on the ground" [Ironic]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The psychology of pricing, or "Why $1.97 sounds like a must-have bargain compared to $2.00" [Interesting]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I say, that chap appears to be drowning. Quick, let's blow some smoke up his ass, that always helps [Stupid]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's still illegal to be homeless and sleep on benches, even if you are The Messiah [Florida]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Then Jesus spake unto the leper, "Pre-existing condition, LOL" [Fail]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Somebody definitely isn't winning Miss Congeniality [Amusing]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Here, It Counts As Deep Conversation.
Telemarketing instructor #1, analyzing recorded call: Does heavy breathing count as “filler language”?Telemarketing instructor #2: Not at this call center.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Crisis Management Meeting
Boss: You’ll be happy to know that we asked accounting to open up a billing code for “unstrategic planning.” 5340 Alla Road
Los Angeles, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service, People!
Waiter to other servers: Okay, just so everyone knows, there's a Sasquatch loose somewhere in the bathroom.Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I'll Just Use the Toaster and Hope for the Best
Office manager, heating up lunch: “Just add water and microwave for four minutes.” No, that has too many directions.Detroit, MichiganOverheard by: Confused [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Tonight's Movie: The Phantom Of the Performance Review
Account manager, yelling across the hall: He needs you to bring more photo paper, and black ink.PR exec, yelling back: A black cape?Account manager: No, ink!PR exec: A cape?Account manager: He wants ink!PR exec: Why does he want a cape?London
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » IT Guys Are More Likely to Beat You With a Memory Stick
Older IT guy: I live by the rule of thumb: “If the stick's not bigger than your thumb, you can beat 'em with it!” (laughs) Okay, now, go to your sent box…Sparks, MarylandOverheard by: Operator [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family to coin guy: Hey, we've had this old nickel sitting in a closet for 40 years. Is it worth anything? Coin guy: I've had a $1million bounty on this for years. Family: We'll wait. Auction 10 year later: $3.25 million [Spiffy]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » The Soul Of A Damned Queef says FML
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML [Link]
FMyLife » 3722145 says FML
Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Puppy Controversy
For anyone who is interested in the GoDaddy puppy controversy commercial it is available on YouTube. It is cute but somebody always gets offended. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 6 Down. No longer living ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ [Sad]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Wait, Wouldn't “the Sensitive Type”…. Oh, Never Mind.
Female office worker #1, about anal sex: I've never had a guy even try… I wonder if it's because of us, or the guys we date?Female office worker #2: I don't think it's me. It must be the guys. You go for the “sensitive type.”Female office worker #1: Yeah … and you go for douchebags.Commonwealth Ave
Boston, MassachusettsOverheard by: Oh Dear [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This Zamboni DWI was brought to you by the city of Fargo [Dumbass]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pedestrians wanting to go downtown in one British city have to pass a breathalyser first [Weird]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cardboard derby racer [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Cyberdildonics
Cyberdildonics is the rather interesting name for pleasure devices that are controlled by a lover long distance over the internet. Apparently they are being hacked for control of the device and/or to steal pictures taken during use. When the hackers are doing that at least they are leaving bank accounts and credit cards alone. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman gives birth to twins after being told she had no womb for them [Cool]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Inside London's massive underground ghost hole that used to deliver mail, not the milkman to your mom [Interesting]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Richard Dawkins has another trollin' idea. Except this one might just work [Interesting]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Make 14 false fire reports in an 8 month period including 6 in one month? That's $13,500 restitution and five years probation [Dumbass]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Annual Volunteer Project
I-banker: Why can’t we just donate money to hire people to do this work? 2615 W. 84th Place
Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Even the Super Bowl Planning Committee had to take 'active shooter preparedness" training from the Department of Homeland Security [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
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