Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » The starter locations of fast-food chains in Southern California: see the original Fatburger, Panda Express, McD's and In-N-Out, as well as the quarantined property of the first Taco Bell (seriously, it's fenced) [Interesting]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you live in Edison, New Jersey and wonder why it's taking the city so long to plow your roads, here's the reason [Strange]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News crew gets owned by Bill Cosby decoy [Fail]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I seen him go and take out a proper hacksaw, like a wood saw… The blood shot up to the ceiling, up onto his glasses, all over the nurses…there was a burning pain, I knew I was going to die" (Article contains some graphic/disturbing conte
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If Subby could think up a brand name for this Megachurch pastors' elixir it would be called: Snake Oil [Stupid]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ohioans can be proud that the Buckeyes won the football playoff. And that they lead the nation in insurance claims for metal thefts [Sad]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When a hangover becomes permanent and turns out to be a brain HAEMORRHAGE, maybe it's time to pour another one [Sad]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue… to attack Muslims in Cuba [Unlikely]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 4 Real Life Dinos Used to Make Jurassic World's Hybrid
Jurassic World won’t be hitting theaters until June 12, but the movie’s official website is already giving audiences a sneak peek at its new, genetically-modified dino, a beast that’s been named Indominus rex (or “Untamable king”). Toothy, aggressive, and highly intelligent, the monster’s said to contain the spliced DNA of several real-life dinosaurs, including these guys. 1. Carnotaurus 
Wikimedia Commons … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guy gets run over by an SUV, assaults assisting deputy, and tries to steal cruiser even after getting tased twice. And how was your night? [Florida]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "What did he say?" "He said the waitress is near" [Dumbass]
[link] [141 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » City reacts to high speed street racing crash by posting radar sign to flash "slow down" at street racers [Unlikely]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man facing a lifelong ban from Britain's Parklife festival after bragging on Facebook he was going to sell all dozen of his tickets to the 2015 festival at triple the price [Dumbass]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman accused of stealing her stepmother's bag. Not everything can be a Cinderella story [Florida]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police investigating the 9th death of an Appalachian State student this year. Officials advise everyone to remain calm, but call 9-1-1 immediately if any University of Michigan alumni are sighted in the area [Scary]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Direct descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys are producing legal moonshine, the start of a new legacy for the families made famous for their 19th-century feud" [Followup]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The science of itching. This headline made you scratch [Interesting]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this furniture move [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "Not really, I'm a cop so please explain?" *TIRE SQUEAL* [Dumbass]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Midwest and Northeast brace for SNOWMAGEDDON II: THE REVENGE as a winter storm approaches just in time for Groundhog Day. Will Bill Murray escape purgatory? Will we keep the internet? OH GOD AM I OUT OF COFFEE? [Scary]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There was a time when Republicans believed in equal rights for women and defending the Republic against fascism [Interesting]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman gets fifteen years in prison for manslaughter after she decided to drink and drive, crashing into a poolside cabana and killing a pregnant woman in 2012. The woman, now pregnant, thought she would gain sympathy [Florida]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How the avocado went from an essential part of Mexican cooking to America's favorite fruit. Well, it's more like a vegetable; it's all just semantics, right? [Cool]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Shut down eve……aw, crap [Scary]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dogs save factory worker's life after he falls into coma. Submitter wants a job where there is so little supervision that he can fall into a coma without anyone noticing [Hero]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » nodoggforme says FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my beloved dog. Why? Yesterday she asked me who I'd choose, and I honestly said that I would choose the dog. FML [Link]
FMyLife » not a cancerous pimple says FML
Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Like mother, like daughter [News]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The most popular food on Super Bowl Sunday is: A) Chicken wings B) Pizza C) Vegetables [Unlikely]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It Was the ‘Let’s All Go to the Lobby’ Promo
Lady peon: Oh my god, last night I saw the most confusingest movie ever.Barnie’s Coffee and Tea
Jupiter, FloridaOverheard by: Bored Coffee Girl [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Cigarette Break
Manager: Man, I hate that rep. Only he has the power to permeate every fiber of my being with his earnest, sniveling, annoying little voice. “I’m sorry.” “Would you mind?” “Is it a problem?” Grow some balls, freak show! 105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Not from One Of Those Little Packages, Though.
Art teacher, looking at another eating Pringles: Pringles are the perfect chip, based on the texture, shape, and lines. They fit perfectly in your mouth.History teacher: I don't know. If you asked me, I'd just prefer a Lay.Teacher's Lounge
Marvell, ArkansasOverheard by: They Let Me Teach Children [Link]
Overheard In The Office » When Alumni Giving Attacks!: Coming Soon to Fox TV
Student on phone: Sir, as a current student at XYZ College*, I know I can talk to you about all the improvements that we’ve made since you attended…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. No… No, I didn’t realize you hated XYZ. I will be sure to tell him that… Repeat after you? Sir, please… I promise I’ll tell him… Okay, … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Most Extras in Hollywood Are Golems Now
Foreign producer on phone: I tell him it’s okay if you’re dead… We’ll make from him a midget…Film studio
Hollywood, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Disneyland Brochure Merely Says, “The Happiest Place on Earth”
Travel agent: The fact that there are a lot of prostitutes there is not my fault.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The first time you visit Canada, brace yourself for milk in bags, moose alerts, and people who know the proper way to line up in public [Obvious]
[link] [138 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That Explains What Happened to the Chair Cushions in the Conference Room
Coworker #1, after big move: Hey, we've got another box empty.Coworker #2: Great, we can use it for these mystery files until they've got somewhere to go.Coworker #1: Really? Um, I was going to start building a fort with it.Sheffield
England [Link]
Fark.com RSS » British police are threatening snowball throwers with ASBOs [Asinine]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to take it upon yourself to be a border vigilante and march around the Arizona desert looking for illegals, make sure you don't pull a gun on an undercover sheriff deputy [Followup]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Looks like traffic was **puts on sunglasses** scrambled [Interesting]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Park in a space you didn't personally shovel out? Fall River Man will shoot ya up (fall river man, fall river man) [Scary]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Grace Hopper, The Queen of Code
Grace Hopper was a computing pioneer. She coined the term "computer bug" after finding a moth stuck inside Harvard's Mark II computer in 1947 (which in turn led to the term "debug," meaning solving problems in computer code). She did the foundational work that led to the COBOL programming language, used in mission-critical computing systems for decades (including today). She … [Link]
Mental Floss » Fall of the South: Congress Passes Thirteenth Amendment
For the next few months, we'll be covering the end of the Civil War, exactly 150 years later. This is the first installment of this series. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, when did we stop "surfing"? Because nobody, and I mean nobody, still says they surf the internet [Strange]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
Employee: Don’t interrupt me now, interrupt me when I am finished! 1200 10th Avenue South
Birmingham, Alabama [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Commando IS NOT AN OPTION [Followup]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML [Link]
FMyLife » briang959 says FML
Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alabama trucker reminder: If you suddenly need to pull out a tooth while driving, please use a designated rest area [Dumbass]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Cooking—For Men!
For the men of the 1950s through 1980s who needed reassurance of their masculinity while perusing a recipe, publishers stepped up to the plate with a plethora of "manly" cookbooks, from the Big Boy Barbecue Cookbook to a chapter in Fried Coffee and Jellied Bourbon entitled, commandingly, "Breakfast is for Men." * Dear dog owners: please pick up after your … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Being poor is awfully expensive [Asinine]
[link] [174 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The restaurant Guest Service Manager or Lovin' Lead will explain that McDonald's is doing something special that day, and the customer will be given the option to pay for his or her order with an act of Lovin' instead" [Fail]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this amphibious assault [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Ugandan Kung Fu
More information here. [Link]
Weird Universe » Home Urinal
The latest Kickstarter weirdness is The Main Drain. It's "an adjustable urinal that attaches to your toilet." It's target market is evidently men who, for one reason or another, really don't want to lift up the toilet seat.
They're hoping to raise $50,000 to start manufacturing the Main Drain. So far they've got $1,604, with over a month to go. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alaska newspaper: "Are Americans now so clueless they have to be told to put on warm clothes before going out the in the cold?" [Sad]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » This Dramatization of the Importance of Negative Numbers is the Grittiest Schoolhouse Rock Yet
CSR: Customer Service, this is Sheri*. May I have your account number please?Customer: Why is my account negative?!CSR: Well, if you give me your account number, I can look it up and go over your transactions with you.Customer gives information, CSR verifies, and the conversation continues.CSR: Well, ma’am, looks like your opening deposit on Tuesday was 25 dollars… And then you … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Little Mews Rescue (a non profit, 501(c)3 no-kill rescue organization run by a couple of awesome farkers) has finally made the headlines, just time to hope they get some much needed help on Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [485 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ♪♫ Anti-vaxxers gave their precious snowflake his goodbyes / And put him on the Wolverine up to Annandale / Now there's measles and the loonies are quite surprised / To find him in a quarantine for their science fail ♪♫ [F
[link] [184 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now THIS is how you sell a used 2001 Honda Civic on Craigslist [Amusing]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML [Link]
FMyLife » lonesomegal says FML
Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Burglar breaks windows of liquor store to steal…Keystone? God, so many applicable tags [Dumbass]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch People Fly a Brain-Controlled Helicopter
Use your head. [Link]
Futility Closet » Time Passages
In ordinary life we shift frequently between observing the world before us and summoning impressions from memory. Reproducing this experience in fiction can require an immense sophistication of the reader. In Narrative Discourse: An Essay in Method (1983), Gérard Genette examines a passage from Proust’s Jean Santeuil in which Jean finds the hotel in which lives Marie Kossichef, whom he … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying there's aliens in a spacecraft circling around this asteroid but there's aliens in a spacecraft circling around this asteroid [Strange]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ride finding services are about to see an Uber Lyft in their operating cost [Interesting]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » They call him Flipper, Flipper, slut of the sea (might be not safe for work) [Sick]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » A Cautionary Tale About Getting Stoned at Work
Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Awww, Snap!
Worker at desk, startled when colleague walks by: Oh! You scared me! I thought you were a rubber band!Bridge Street
Sydney
AustraliaOverheard by: JRH [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But You’d Only Be Prosecuted for the Former
College student: So, if you stab someone and then stand there and watch them bleed to death, are you killing them or letting them die?Logic professor: Well, I guess you would accomplish both.Middle Tennessee State University
Murfreesboro, Tennessee [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Does That Distinguish It from Any Other Month in Pittsburgh?
Manager: This month's data looks solid, but can we use November's data?Office guy: Well, November was like the transition, it's not crap like it was before but it's not as good as this new stuff…Manager: So, November is like solidifying crap?Office guy: Uh…sure?Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Sitdown with HR
Worker #1: Hey, do you have a sec?
Worker #2: Sure, I have lots of secs. 16101 North 82nd Street
Scottsdale, Arizona [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Unless It Counts When He Sticks His Nose in My Crotch
Coworker #1: How's the new dog?Coworker #2: It's a shitload of work. I haven't been out in weeks.Coworker #1: Really? That sucks!Coworker #2: I think my dog is turning me asexual.Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And I Mean, Kevin-Costner-Robin-Hood Embarrasssing
Boss, whispering loudly: What is that?Startled employee, in normal voice: It's my green shirt.Boss, still whispering loudly: It's embarrassing.Fulton St
Chicago, IllinoisOverheard by: justanotherblazer [Link]
Weird Universe » Distracted Driving
People do crazy things while driving; texting, putting on makeup, even reading. But pulling a tooth, that's a new one and while driving a big rig as well. Of course he wrecked or it wouldn't be news would it? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Call-blocking technology hailed by the FTC as the best available is banned from virtually every major telephone company. This is why we can't have nice things [Stupid]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » They bring a gun, you bring a gasoline hose. It's the Milwaukee way [Unlikely]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Pizza Prophylactic
Pizza condoms, they are not flavored or scented but they do come in a tiny pizza box. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jury awards woman 1.5 million dollars after she transforms from promising student to dominatrix after a car accident (SFW pics) [Strange]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Told You Duct Tape Will Fix Anything
Worker #1: Did you hear about the industrial accident the other day?Worker #2: No, what happened?Worker #1: A cable broke and took out his whole left side!Worker #2: Oh no!Worker #1: It's okay, he's all right now.Marysville, WashingtonOverheard by: Noah [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this prissy princess [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Whisky
Despite its image as being tasty with Coke or ginger ale, Canadian whisky is in the middle of a resurgence. Craft distillers are popping up left and right, and larger brands are introducing new programs and innovations. To give you a taste of the spirit, we’ve put together seven things you might not know about it. 1. All Canadian whisky can … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Have you ever wondered why your parents favor your aloof younger sibling? It's because you're not as funny, you uptight dick. Here's the science [Obvious]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 3 men find rabid raccoon and their first instinct is to pick it up and take a cellphone video [Dumbass]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
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