John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Affter 199 years, American Bible Society leaving NYC for Philadelphia because employees find that the rent is too damn, er, too darn high [Misc]

Wednesday 28 January 23:34:02 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [33 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 28 January 23:32:37 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Worthy of Gryffindor: How to Become Friends with Harry Potter

Wednesday 28 January 23:02:45 UTC 2015

By the time Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, the fourth book in the Harry Potter saga, was published in 2000, the series had already become a smashing success. The first book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (“Sorcerer’s Stone” in the United States) debuted in the UK in the summer of 1997 and was being turned into a … [Link]

FMyLife » retailshell says FML

Wednesday 28 January 23:01:31 UTC 2015

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Crazy Drone Stories

Wednesday 28 January 22:30:00 UTC 2015

A drone recently landed on the grounds of the White House. Here are 10 other crazy drone stories. Contains some NSFW content. * Maybe awesome ain’t so great. This article explores the use (overuse?) of that word. * The new all female Ghostbusters film has been cast. * These are the most expensive winter storms in US history. * Whoa! … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gwyneth Paltrow shares recipe for steamed clams [Stupid]

Wednesday 28 January 22:19:30 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [188 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Humboldt County, Calif. resident reports "rolling" motion during 5.7 earthquake [News]

Wednesday 28 January 22:12:45 UTC 2015

News [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Misc

Wednesday 28 January 22:06:09 UTC 2015

Seattle is closer to Finland than to England. Is a candle flame alive? ABANDON is an anagram of A AND NO B. tan-1(1) + tan-1(2) + tan-1(3) = π “A thing is a hole in a thing it is not.” — Carl Andre Detractors of Massachusetts governor Endicott Peabody said that three of the state’s towns had been named for … [Link]

The Onion » Floor Plan Of Retirement Community 90% Defibrillator Locations

Wednesday 28 January 21:25:45 UTC 2015

Floor Plan Of Retirement Community 90% Defibrillator Locations
[Link]

The Onion » Natural Selection Kills 38 Quadrillion Organisms In Bloodiest Day Yet

Wednesday 28 January 21:25:00 UTC 2015

EARTH—In a seemingly unstoppable cycle of carnage that has become tragically commonplace throughout the biosphere, sources confirmed this morning that natural selection has killed an estimated 38 quadrillion organisms in its bloodiest day yet. Numer…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not to disagree with the fount of accuracy that is RT, but it's Jordan that offered an exchange with ISIS, not Japan [Followup]

Wednesday 28 January 21:19:11 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For millennials, the new American dream is moving to Buffalo [Interesting]

Wednesday 28 January 21:10:54 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [185 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » anonpbc says FML

Wednesday 28 January 21:07:57 UTC 2015

Today, I went on my first date in over 4 years with a smoking hot guy. The big event was a trip to Target. I work at Target. He took me to my workplace for our date. And they say romance is dead. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Farker's dog has cancer and will be crossing the rainbow bridge soon. Please Photoshop him so I can say goodbye with a smile [Photoshop]

Wednesday 28 January 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Here's What People Tried to Sneak onto Airplanes in 2014

Wednesday 28 January 20:46:59 UTC 2015

Nearly 2 million people pass through airport security every day in the United States, and some of them have packed things in their bags that they definitely shouldn't have. It's the job of Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agents to find those things, and if their annual year in review post is any indication, agents were very busy in 2014. Last … [Link]

Mental Floss » What It's Like To Be A Tetris Master

Wednesday 28 January 20:46:58 UTC 2015

In October 2014, the fifth annual Classic Tetris World Championship was held in Portland, Oregon. I was there, shooting a documentary about the tournament (stay tuned for release later this year). And so was a documentarian from BuzzFeed, who followed Tetris Master Eli Markstrom during his journey through the tournament. The BuzzFeed mini-documentary is up now, and gives you a … [Link]

Mental Floss » Top 10 Grammar Myths

Wednesday 28 January 20:46:57 UTC 2015

Before you argue with me, read the whole explanation about why each of these is a myth. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Rough-and-Tumble Facts About Hockey Fights

Wednesday 28 January 20:46:56 UTC 2015

Nothing heats up hockey fans like an argument about dropping the gloves—a tradition with a long, bloody, and bizarre history. 1. The NHL’s Official 1922 Rule Book Referred to One-on-One Fights as “Fisticuffs.” Such skirmishes, the league determined that year, would usually result in penalties instead of automatic ejections. 2. Not Every League is OK with fighting. American players have … [Link]

The Onion » Modern-Day Lancelot Offers To Pay For Abortion

Wednesday 28 January 20:44:00 UTC 2015

ST. LOUIS—His seed having taken hold within the loins of his beloved, modern-day Lancelot Aaron Grimaldi selflessly proffered a goodly portion of his wages Wednesday to pay for his fair lady Kelly Webster’s abortion.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada suitably apologetic after it is named "20th least miserable country in world" [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 January 20:34:56 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police in Brazil raid a warehouse for stolen goods and find two American-made M-41 tanks [Scary]

Wednesday 28 January 20:32:17 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 550 diamonds, 10 feet of gold wire and it still won't play Stairway To Heaven by itself [Cool]

Wednesday 28 January 20:30:39 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Zen monastery abbot steps down from post after admitting affair, will now devote himself to discovering the answer to "What is the sound of one hand fapping?" [Fail]

Wednesday 28 January 20:30:38 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Handy Guide for Using the Oxford Comma

Wednesday 28 January 20:30:00 UTC 2015


Click to enlarge [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iceland's McDonald's closed in 2009, and the last burger was donated to the National Museum. Now it's on display at a local hostel, where people marvel at its pristine state. "Some people have even stolen some of the fries" [Amusi

Wednesday 28 January 20:28:30 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Receipt Brazenly Placed In Bag Without Permission

Wednesday 28 January 20:26:00 UTC 2015

DAVENPORT, IA—Calling the conduct an affront to common decency, local Walgreens customer David Nivola confirmed that his receipt had been brazenly placed in his bag without his permission Wednesday.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » You just got in an accident. You're naked from the waist down. You are sitting on a bottle of booze. What could go wrong? [Dumbass]

Wednesday 28 January 20:25:53 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When trying to pick-up an underage girl, using a pseudonym of a wealthy individual never fails. Like, oh I don't know, Scrooge McDuck [Dumbass]

Wednesday 28 January 20:25:39 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police dilemma: You have to pick up two offenders, one is a repeat sex offender, one is a 17-year-old girl. Which one do you handcuff? [Fail]

Wednesday 28 January 20:18:28 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amongst the medical devices found on the wreck of Blackbeard's ship is a "clyster pump," which was designed to squirt fluid up your arrrrrrse [Scary]

Wednesday 28 January 20:17:03 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas woman stabbed repeatedly as she was running on a treadmill. The suspect just came up out of nowhere on his stationary bicycle [Weird]

Wednesday 28 January 20:14:28 UTC 2015

Weird [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Six dead in Christmas tree fire in 16,000 sq ft home. Don't let this happen to you [PSA]

Wednesday 28 January 20:10:46 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Glad to see cops crack down on snow-shoveling kids, said no one ever [Stupid]

Wednesday 28 January 20:04:51 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [45 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Measles Epidemic 2015: A Timeline Of The Outbreak

Wednesday 28 January 19:50:00 UTC 2015

Health officials recently announced that an outbreak of measles they believe originated in Disneyland last December has now spread to multiple states, and experts have linked the epidemic to the growing anti-vaccination movement among parents.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 24 Origins of Cheese Names

Wednesday 28 January 19:45:14 UTC 2015

In this week's episode of the List Show, John Green rattles off the origins of various cheese names. [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the Space Shuttles

Wednesday 28 January 19:36:08 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Germany's right-wing protesters accidentally march against right-wing extremism [Stupid]

Wednesday 28 January 19:23:27 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How any woman can bag the man of her dreams in just 60 days. You just have to have sex on the first date, pay for dinner and call him afterwards. Maybe wait a few days on that last one [Obvious]

Wednesday 28 January 19:12:25 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [211 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To settle SEC allegations that it aided an abetted a customer's illegal "pump and dump" operation involving penny stocks, Oppenheimer Holdings will admit wrong doing and pay a fine of 20,000,000,000 cents [Interesting]

Wednesday 28 January 19:09:36 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alabama judge says it's "tyranny" that the Federal government is trying to prevent them from having bigoted homophobic laws [Obvious]

Wednesday 28 January 18:33:02 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [218 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A dramatic reading of the Onion's "All shall perish in the tempest" article by Mayor Bill DeBlasio [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 January 18:32:13 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Dutch artist who turned his dead cat Into a drone is keeping a badger In his freezer to build a submarine [Spiffy]

Wednesday 28 January 18:27:10 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Battle between semi truck and wheelchair ends badly for the wheelchair [Florida]

Wednesday 28 January 18:18:58 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On your way to the Super Bowl, but forgot to book a hotel? For $300/night, here is a pretty nice place, if you don't mind a few rules [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 January 17:30:12 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you live in Colorado? How are you going to spend your pot tax refund? [Spiffy]

Wednesday 28 January 17:16:05 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [84 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » tipmeover says FML

Wednesday 28 January 17:01:14 UTC 2015

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ban Ki-moon: "There are no kangaroos in Austria." You might want to rethink that one, Ban [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 January 16:44:04 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS takes credit for attacking Libya's Corinthia Hotel, the JFK assassination, the Northeast Blizzard of 2015, and canceling Better Off Ted [Followup]

Wednesday 28 January 16:36:45 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mail-order shoplifting [Amusing]

Wednesday 28 January 16:36:20 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad Day: Hitting a bicyclist with your car. Farking Bad Day: Finding out it's one of the state's most recognizable personal injury lawyers [Ironic]

Wednesday 28 January 16:31:57 UTC 2015

Ironic [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "If you're in a situation where you've never found a female, then you should start to have sex with everything you encounter because it could be a female" [Advice]

Wednesday 28 January 16:31:52 UTC 2015

Advice [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One incident on a train with a sleeping pregnant lady, and suddenly you have a nickname that will stick with you forever [Sick]

Wednesday 28 January 16:13:30 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nigeria's Sharia police have detained 12 people accused of holding a gay wedding. They got there just before the ring hit the finger [Silly]

Wednesday 28 January 16:08:26 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Words That Are Actually Acronyms

Wednesday 28 January 16:07:47 UTC 2015

Here are the stories and meanings behind 25 words, names and titles that you might not have realized actually stand for something. [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are Penguins So Good At Walking On Ice?

Wednesday 28 January 16:07:46 UTC 2015

With fire, there's one ubiquitous phrase to take care of it all: Stop, drop and roll. But when it comes to the other side of the extreme-elements spectrum, the latest advice for ice is "walk like a penguin." Why? Because it's wise to waddle on ice. Waddling will help you avoid creating an oblique angle with your legs, which often … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: A Thomas Crapper Tribute

Wednesday 28 January 16:07:44 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexican Attorney General: Tengo noventa y nueve sospechosos, y una mujer es una [Misc]

Wednesday 28 January 15:32:43 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [61 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Warren Buffett Can’t Believe He Has To Live Next To Powerball Winner

Wednesday 28 January 15:31:00 UTC 2015

OMAHA, NE—Shaking his head as workers installed a fountain on his neighbor’s front lawn, business magnate Warren Buffett told reporters Wednesday that he cannot believe he’s stuck living next to the latest recipient of a Powerball jackpo…
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Taiwan Building Sex-Themed Amusement Park Called ‘Romantic Boulevard’

Wednesday 28 January 15:29:00 UTC 2015

According to reports, Taiwan is planning to open a love- and sex-themed amusement park called Romantic Boulevard, which will feature erotic sculptures, sex education videos, and more.
[Link]

Overheard In The Office » I'll Eat It Standing Up, Like the Subway Whore I Am

Wednesday 28 January 15:06:45 UTC 2015

Manager: Yeah, if I get anything more than six inches I just can't handle it… And I get sooooo tired afterwards.Female worker: It's hard not to eat the whole thing for me, you can always save the rest for later… You want some more now, don't you?Manager: Yeah!South Houston [Link]

Overheard In The Office » California-Straight, Anyway

Wednesday 28 January 15:06:44 UTC 2015

Interviewee: My current girlfriend used to be a lesbian, but she’s straight now.209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, CaliforniaOverheard by: Interviewer in another row [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Call Me “Bitch” or Nothing at All

Wednesday 28 January 15:06:43 UTC 2015

Timid 20-year-old: Excuse me, ma’am…Sassy 30-year-old: I know you didn’t just ‘Ma’am’ me!Navy Yard
Washington, DC [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Which One You’d Be Friends with Says a Lot about Who You Are

Wednesday 28 January 15:06:42 UTC 2015

Big boss at farewell party for employee: I stopped drinking soda a long time ago because I want to stop consuming all those fake sugars.Young employee: I stopped buying soda along time ago, too, so I can have more money for alcohol.Broadway and Wall Street
New York, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » A Problem Never Before Reported to OITO

Wednesday 28 January 15:06:41 UTC 2015

Architect: There's too much…there are too many people thinking around here.Charlottesville, Virginia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Since No High-Profile Plane Crashes Have Happened Recently, Everyone Laughed Good-Naturedly at the Pilot’s Joke

Wednesday 28 January 15:06:40 UTC 2015

Pilot: Folks we’ll be flying at 28 thousand feet today, however, the folks at maintenance only gave us enough fuel to fly at 22 thousand feet. So, we’ll see what happens. Enjoy your flight!Delta Airlines flight [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Father demands to know why his son's school was so eager to ban peanuts to protect children from getting sick but won't prevent children of anti-vaxxers from attending school to keep his son, recovering from leukemia, safe [Obvious]

Wednesday 28 January 15:05:29 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [583 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cuban youths use piecemeal equipment and crude connections to put together a makeshift internet for 9,000 people. AOL immediately files suit, claiming theft of their business model [Spiffy]

Wednesday 28 January 14:47:15 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Prudence: My husband and I are finally parents, but we did not realize that our newborn would cry so much. In fact, as we go to bed every night and start to have sex, the kid starts crying and crying for attention. How can I get it to shut up? [

Wednesday 28 January 14:32:20 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Doesn't Take Much for a Man to Forget His Wedding Vows

Wednesday 28 January 14:29:51 UTC 2015

Male coworker, looking at new office desk: That's a really sturdy desk.Female coworker: Yeah, you could totally do it on that desk.Male coworker (pausing): Wow, that's kind of awesome that you said that.Santa Barbara, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police offer precinct lobbies as safe place to conduct Craigslist transactions, make the prostitution and robbery arrests much easier [Interesting]

Wednesday 28 January 14:13:01 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » nsb124 says FML

Wednesday 28 January 14:08:41 UTC 2015

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML [Link]

Futility Closet » Black and White

Wednesday 28 January 14:07:18 UTC 2015

By J. Keeble. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lady and her goodies [Photoshop]

Wednesday 28 January 14:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Good Aim

Wednesday 28 January 13:51:45 UTC 2015

This video has started doing the rounds on social media. A demonstration of the art of precision tree dropping.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Four new lucky cities to get Google Fiber, laugh at those who aren't so lucky [Cool]

Wednesday 28 January 13:47:31 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS & Japan agree on hostage swap, Japanese journalist to be freed 'within hours' [News]

Wednesday 28 January 13:35:55 UTC 2015

News [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two more people from Arizona bring home an unwanted souvenir from Measlesland [Followup]

Wednesday 28 January 13:14:56 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch This 1949 Video About How to Build an Igloo

Wednesday 28 January 13:02:51 UTC 2015

The National Film Board of Canada produced this video (originally on film) in 1949 to show how igloos are made in far North Canada. Using hard-packed snow, two Inuit men skillfully build an igloo as an overnight shelter. The operation takes roughly 90 minutes while their sled dogs patiently wait outside. The video shows how the packed snow is used … [Link]

Mental Floss » A Thomas Crapper Tribute

Wednesday 28 January 13:02:50 UTC 2015

[Link]

Weird Universe » Head Box

Wednesday 28 January 12:46:52 UTC 2015

Head Box from Jake Kavanagh on Vimeo. [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: New England Snowfall

Wednesday 28 January 12:30:52 UTC 2015

New York didn’t get as much snow as predicted, but New England sure did. It’s hard to say who wins in this kind of competition.
*
19 Perfect Books To Read When You're Stuck Inside. Not that you really have to wait for a snowstorm.
*
10 Pieces of Disaster Safety Advice You Should Ignore. We all knew that duck … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Coffee Break

Wednesday 28 January 12:25:35 UTC 2015

Guy: The worst part of being a corrections officer is when the prisoners want to fight you.
Suit: Yeah, that seems like it would be dangerous.
Guy: No, it’s just that I hate the paperwork. 327 Lakeshore Drive East
Dunkirk, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're worthless and weak and letting your unborn fetus down if you stop exercising just because you're pregnant [Obvious]

Wednesday 28 January 12:22:25 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missing hunter survives for days on just water, if only there was an activity he could have done to get food [Obvious]

Wednesday 28 January 11:27:11 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That’s What the Cargo Pockets are For

Wednesday 28 January 11:24:10 UTC 2015

Suit on cell: I’m going home and changing into shorts. It’s so hot out there I need to throw up. Washington Mutual
Livermore, California Overheard by: Stephen [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Size-22 lingerie model gets big contract. "I found out about plus-size modeling when I was 15" [Spiffy]

Wednesday 28 January 11:24:09 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [232 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC Mayor de Blasio's blizzard warning press conference fell about as flat as the snow storm itself. But, on a brighter note, his ASL interpreter guy scored big for closing with 'Jazz Hands' and a killer Shakata [Silly]

Wednesday 28 January 11:19:49 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't drink and drone, government employee guy (some sidebar images may be not safe for work) [Followup]

Wednesday 28 January 11:17:46 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [22 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » MyUsernameisEpic says FML

Wednesday 28 January 11:02:09 UTC 2015

Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 28 January 10:54:55 UTC 2015

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mormon church accepts the fact that when you have that many kids at least one of them is going to be gay [Cool]

Wednesday 28 January 10:02:48 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bay Area woman cropdusts Dave & Busters, Walmart, and Costco with the measles, all in one day. Now that's dedication to one's craft [Dumbass]

Wednesday 28 January 9:23:00 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [92 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » bitchypast says FML

Wednesday 28 January 9:20:53 UTC 2015

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML [Link]

FMyLife » I'm screwed says FML

Wednesday 28 January 9:07:49 UTC 2015

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Animaldude55 says FML

Wednesday 28 January 9:06:00 UTC 2015

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You may have truly hit rock bottom the day police arrest you for stumbling around Walmart while wearing body armor and suffering from a two-day-old gunshot wound [Scary]

Wednesday 28 January 9:05:06 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gunman opens fire at council meeting in New Hope, shot and killed by troopers for being part of a rebel alliance and a traitor [Scary]

Wednesday 28 January 8:34:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Science Behind Different Involuntary Behaviors

Wednesday 28 January 8:23:22 UTC 2015

I'm convinced I'm more hiccup-prone than the average person. And although a recent discovery that eating unaccompanied whipped cream works as a mediocre cure has made this affliction easier to handle, I still want to know what the heck is going on to cause all these hiccups. In a recent episode of the PBS Digital Studios series "It’s Okay To … [Link]

Mental Floss » Did They Win a Super Bowl?

Wednesday 28 January 8:23:18 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mr. Incredible convicted of assaulting Batgirl. Is there no honor among superheroes? [Dumbass]

Wednesday 28 January 7:22:00 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [39 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » morning_glory says FML

Wednesday 28 January 7:17:02 UTC 2015

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dr. Atkins, who was right, and then wrong, and then right again, is now wrong [Followup]

Wednesday 28 January 6:20:00 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Take Two

Wednesday 28 January 6:10:51 UTC 2015

Rod Serling’s original opening narration for The Twilight Zone read, “There is a sixth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, and it lies between the pit of man’s fear and the sunlight of his knowledge. This … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smartphone app calculates your flight's odds of crashing. Your mileage may vary [Unlikely]

Wednesday 28 January 4:30:59 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Tricks to Fool Your Friends

Wednesday 28 January 3:53:42 UTC 2015

Bored and looking to mess with your friends? Let's see how they handle these little brain games. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Dead" cat is buried in owner's backyard, shows up five days later at neighbors' house, because hell, I wouldn't go back to those assholes either (Warning: Video contains graphic content) [Florida]

Wednesday 28 January 1:40:44 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The new 'Leningrad Blockade Diet': 400 grams of bread and all the water you can drink [Sick]

Wednesday 28 January 1:35:45 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Black licorice is disgusting. Also deadly [PSA]

Wednesday 28 January 1:33:43 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [114 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Researchers Map All of Oetzi the Iceman's Tattoos

Wednesday 28 January 1:30:00 UTC 2015

Image courtesy of © Marco Samadelli via ScienceDaily. Click to enlarge. When Oetzi the Iceman was found jutting out of a melting glacier in the Ötztal Alps on September 19, 1991, his discoverers, Erika and Helmut Simon, immediately noticed his tattoos—which, at more than 5000 years old, are some of the oldest documented tattoos in the world. Previous studies had … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That’s Hardly a Reason. He Must Have Smelled Bad.

Wednesday 28 January 1:05:25 UTC 2015

Customer: I would like to complain about the woman who works here. She was very rude to me for no reason, even yelling, and then made me leave.Clerk: Are you the guy who was walking around naked?Customer: Oh…ah, well… [Leaves quickly]Porn store
Bozeman, Montana [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …And What Kind Of Business Is This “Main St. Cafe”?

Wednesday 28 January 1:05:24 UTC 2015

Office manager: "what's the name of your company? Okay, main street cafe… And what is your address? Okay 1-2-2 main… Wow, they named the street after you?"Veterans Hwy, Long Island New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch

Wednesday 28 January 1:05:22 UTC 2015

Boss on phone: Is this the driver who stole money from us and owes me some collard greens? 3451 North Shadeland Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Why Are My Nipples So Sore?

Wednesday 28 January 1:05:21 UTC 2015

Male attorney #1: So it's been heavy these days?Male attorney #2: Yeah, I can't wait for this period to be over.(females nearby snigger to each other)Manhattan, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 4PM Staff Meeting

Wednesday 28 January 1:05:20 UTC 2015

Drone: With all the cutbacks, re-orgs and layoffs, what is management doing to keep up morale?
Manager: It’s called a paycheck. You know, that thing that magically appears in your bank account every month? That is your motivation. Any more questions? 730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Her Winter Vocabulary's in the Back of the Closet

Wednesday 28 January 1:05:19 UTC 2015

Office clerk: My nails grow all the time in summer, but in winter they're like… What's that word? Oh, yeah: “frozen.”St. George's Terrace
AustraliaOverheard by: Krystle [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We Figured You Upgraded from Food Crumbs

Wednesday 28 January 1:05:18 UTC 2015

Male coworker covered in cardboard: Thanks for telling me I’ve been walking around with box all over my chest.Stamford, ConnecticutOverheard by: K-Slim [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lost herd [Photoshop]

Wednesday 28 January 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

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