Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » Shouldn’t We at Least Try to Cater to the Semi-Literate?
Intern: So do any celebrities subscribe to our magazine?Circulation guru: Actually, James Caan and Shirley MacLaine are longtime subscribers. Even Dennis Hopper got our mag for awhile.Intern (sighing): I mean like real celebrities. You know: Tila Tequila or Zac Efron…Los Angeles, CaliforniaOverheard by: ugh. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 94-year-old man who slipped and fell at an intersection gets back into his car and intentionally runs over the Good Samaritan who helped him to his feet [Asinine]
[link] [138 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One person injured, one person killed after game of deer pong. Drink [Scary]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Unlike the other lifeless husks of men and women found on a Greyhound, the one found inside the bathroom of this bus was actually dead [Sick]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After years of testing woman who literally knows no fear, scientists finally manage to freak her out [Interesting]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That throaty revving sound your muscle car or manly truck makes? Yeah, it's just a faked bit of overcompensation. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? [Fail]
[link] [137 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » TSG ID's one of those Texas thieves who took selfies with a stolen iPad that sent images to owner's iCloud account. Bonus: He has the word "Brilliant" tattooed across his chest [Dumbass]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » “Blank Verse”
John asked Clara
To take
A walk with him
And pick flowers.
But Clara’s brother
Came along
And so
They picked flowers. — North Carolina Boll Weevil, 1922 [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Zeppelins Bomb English Towns
Erik Sass is covering the events of World War I exactly 100 years later. [Link]
Mental Floss » Zooming in on NASA's Giant Andromeda Galaxy Image
Computer: ENHANCE! [Link]
Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week
Every Wednesday, I write about the most interesting new comics hitting comic shops, bookstores, digital, Kickstarter, and the web. Feel free to comment below if there's a comic you've read recently that you want to talk about or an upcoming comic that you'd like me to consider highlighting. 1. March Book Two By Rep. John Lewis, Andrew Aydin and Nate … [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Things You Didn't Know About Dolly Parton
Over the past fifty-some years, she has gone from a chipper country starlet to a worldwide icon of music and movies whose fans consistently pack a theme park made in her honor. Dolly Parton is loved, lauded, and larger than life. But even her most devoted admirers might not know all there is to this Backwoods Barbie. 1. Amusement park … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Government Goes Bananas
This story is bananas— literally. It’s about how bananas led to a government coup. * Sometimes a normal, everyday person springs into action and saves the day. Cracked has a funny rundown of six people that did just that. * Instead of throwing them away or tossing them into a big container, make something cool with all of your used … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jesus getting tired of appearing on slices of toast and tree trunks decides to pop up on a wet dog's ear [Silly]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists find that "Nuclear Pasta" may hold together neutron stars. FSM approves [Interesting]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fabulous tunnel [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You'd be a millionaire if you weren't a smoker [Interesting]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dear Diary, This code is complicated. It certainly implies that some relation between x and y has been laid down eg, y=x2+3x, and Bob's your uncle, I'm a gay cryptanalyst [Interesting]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Surprising Locations That Played a Key Role in the American Revolution
Here are 11 locations that are often overlooked by the history books, but nevertheless significantly impacted the war effort. [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Distant Places In The Solar System (And What They’re Named After)
You’ll no doubt have heard of the Sea of Tranquility, the lunar “sea” that was used as the landing site for the Apollo 11 lunar module, the Eagle, on July 20, 1969. You might also have heard of some of the other seas on the Moon, like the Sea of Vapors, the Sea of Clouds, and the Ocean of Storms. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg set an example for how best to listen to the State of the Union message — she took a nap [Cool]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
The Onion » State Of The Union Guests Sort Of Assumed White House Would Pay For Them To Get Home
WASHINGTON—While grateful to have been honored at one of the most important political events of the year, guests of President Obama at the State of the Union address told reporters Wednesday that they had naturally assumed the White House would pay … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » UN says anti-sodomy laws breed intolerance. Wait, I thought the whole point of sodomy was to avoid breeding anything [Interesting]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man With Serious Mental Illness Committed To City Bus
ALBANY, NY—Citing a range of severe symptoms including hallucinations, disorientation, and disorganized speech, the Albany County Department of Mental Health said Wednesday that local man Shawn Zellicoff will be involuntarily committed to the 125 Cl… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why animals eat psychoactive plants, and no it's not just 'because they can' [Interesting]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Fact-Checking The State Of The Union Address
Addressing issues ranging from income inequality and tax reform to trade agreements and the Cuba embargo, President Obama offered arguments for a wide range of policy proposals in last night’s State of the Union. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ukraine steps up its offensive against the Russians by….recruiting pensioners [Hero]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Bizarre 19th Century Art of Making Furniture Out of Animals
Anyone who knows a hunter is probably also familiar with the things he’s shot—because they’re affixed to the walls of his house. But, as William G. Fitzgerald points out in the August 1896 issue of The Strand, these “mournful-looking heads” are “mounted in a monotonous fashion.” Instead, wealthy hunters in the 1860s opted to do something with their trophies that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 83-year-old woman arrested for opening can of whoopass on 87-year-old husband. Difficulty: Both of them forgot what they were fighting about [Florida]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Whisky lovers invited to sip from the "naval of a half-century-old Hell's Angel" [Amusing]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nearly fifty percent of Japanese adults "not having sex." And by "not having sex," they mean with other people [Weird]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guns don't kill people. Random idiots attacking you for your legally carried concealed weapon don't either, but it still probably hurts a lot [Florida]
[link] [278 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man robs people with can of energy drink, explains to police that "guns are dangerous" [Obvious]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's one thing to kindle the flames of a woman's passion with a song, but it's quite another to actually set her on fire while you sing about it [Scary]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cocoa farmers are facing an uncertain future, even as FARC is attempting to negotiate a peace treaty that will inevitably involve beer [Followup]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Easy Hacks for Hard-to-Open Things
Easy solutions for those hard-to-open containers. [Link]
The Onion » Republicans Address Income Inequality By Offering Middle Class Hot Stock Tip
WASHINGTON—Expressing their commitment to helping average American families get a leg up, leaders of the Republican party addressed the nation’s growing income inequality Wednesday by offering the middle class a hot stock tip. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » For some people, the best thing about Walmart is the free samples they give away; lunch meats, sausages, children [Sick]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You might not want to sit down for this [Stupid]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Most Used Words In Obama’s State Of The Union Address
On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama delivered his 2015 State of the Union address in the chamber of the U.S. 
[Link]
The Onion » Nation Can’t Wait To Hear Patriots Fans’ Excuses This Time
WASHINGTON—After an NFL investigation revealed that 11 of New England’s 12 game balls were under-inflated during last weekend’s AFC Championship Game, Americans across the nation announced Wednesday that they would love—absolutely … 
[Link]
The Onion » Man Too Deep Into Sentence To Avoid Saying Word He Can’t Pronounce
RALEIGH, NC—Suddenly realizing the direness of his situation halfway through speaking a sentence aloud, local 31-year-old Clint Levy reportedly found himself far too deep into a discussion of menu items during a business lunch Wednesday to avoid say… 
[Link]
FMyLife » chelse_elyce says FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML [Link]
FMyLife » highschoolsucks says FML
Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 109-year-old woman says secret to long life is avoiding men [Amusing]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: How Very Noble
[Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Words You Might Not Know Are Portmanteaux
Motel, brunch, and sitcom are obvious. But these portmanteaux are undercover. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's case of a 75-year-old woman arrested for trying to run over a man walking his dogs comes to us from Phoenix, Arizona [Strange]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chicago Fark Party, 21 March, 8-11pm, Lincoln Tap Room [FarkParty]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Glow
This is an exceedingly weird and wonderful novel, sure to be enjoyed by any card-carrying WU-vie who is a fan of odd fiction.
Read my full review here.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The Fifty Shades of Grey movie won't feature the book's infamous tampon scene." I'm really glad this headline means nothing to me [PSA]
[link] [305 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police officer, under investigation for stalking allegations, decides to resign, because that's what all innocent people do [Florida]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The first rule of elementary school knife fight club is…wait. Elementary school? [Scary]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman to taxi driver: Keep an eye on my 1-year-old, I'm just going to quickly run into this store and rob it [Dumbass]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Awesome cat armour is awesome [Cool]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Pope Francis: Catholics Don’t Have To ‘Breed Like Rabbits’
Pope Francis stated this week that while he upholds the Vatican’s ban on artificial birth control methods, Catholic families should limit the number of children they have and not “breed like rabbits,” a stance religious experts say shows… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brazilian off duty cop shoots surfer. Brodie inconsolable [Scary]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do Flammable and Inflammable Mean the Same Thing?
Understand the wrong definition of inflammable and you might end up with more than an embarrassing situation while talking to your English professor. Inflammable and flammable are two words that are frequently misinterpreted. Some people mistake the words as having opposite meanings. In reality, flammable and inflammable mean exactly the same thing—capable of burning. Inflammable is derived from the word … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you live in South Florida, you could get arrested by the star of Kazaam himself, Shaquille O'Neal, who was just sworn in as a reserve police officer [Florida]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Doug Baldwin Sick Of Being Disrespected By Statistics
SEATTLE—Following his team’s 28-22 win over the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Championship Game, Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Doug Baldwin expressed his frustration to reporters Wednesday after feeling constantly disrespected by his statistic… 
[Link]
Futility Closet » DO IT NOW
Image: Wikimedia Commons ArnoldC, a language devised by Finnish computer programmer Lauri Hartikka, assigns programming functions to catch phrases from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. Some keywords: False: I LIED True: NO PROBLEMO If: BECAUSE I’M GOING TO SAY PLEASE Else: BULLSHIT EndIf: YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR LOGIC While: STICK AROUND EndWhile: CHILL MultiplicationOperator: YOU’RE FIRED DivisionOperator: HE HAD TO SPLIT EqualTo: … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists investigating why more than 300 birds off the coast of California have emerged covered in a "mystery goo" [Strange]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Postal Service Unveils New Line Of Stamps Honoring Americans Who Still Use Postal Service
WASHINGTON—In an effort to highlight their longstanding contributions and loyalty to the agency, the U.S. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The NFL confirms it. Tom Brady plays with soft balls [Repeat]
[link] [1159 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Ship Your Enemies Glitter
ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com will send an envelope full of glitter to whomever you want. And embedded in the glitter will be a note explaining why they're getting the shipment. Why glitter? Because it's the "herpes of the craft world" that "gets on everything."
This is similar to the feces by mail service we posted about a few months ago, but a little … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this force with tasks [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If your prison has six escapes in a month, you might have a slight problem [Fail]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Female Papa John's delivery driver shoots an armed robber in the face. Better ammo, better protection…Papa John's [Hero]
[link] [324 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Which, by the Way, Don’t Knock Unless You’ve Tried
CSR: Do you know the part number of the item you are looking for?Customer: It’s C-S…CSR: C-S? As in ‘cat sandwich’?Braintree, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » CSI: San Diego Doesn't Even Try
Boss: Do you smell something burning?Everyone: No. Is something burning?Lab manager: Oh! I smell it! Guys, do you smell something burning?Everyone: Nope.Lab manager: Oh, well. There might be a fire. Maybe we'll all die… Whatever.UCSD Pathology Lab
San Diego, CaliforniaOverheard by: kittymisfit [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Then I Took a Picture With My Cell Phone!
Coworker: I asked her to look at the list and give me Sharon's* cell number, but I didn't have a pen so I had to write it in mulch on the sidewalk.Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » When You Die of Lung Cancer You Lose 21 Grams
Lady on phone: Are you a smoker? No? That's too bad… a lot of people lose weight that way.Chicago, IllinoisOverheard by: Waiting for the printer [Link]
Weird Universe » Unique Beauty
This unusual specimen was found in Drexel University's butterfly exhibit. The wings on one side are female, while the ones on the other side are male. Beautiful. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As a tourist the last thing you're thinking when running up the steps imitating Rocky in Philadelphia is whether you'll have to fight him [Cool]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The FBI has finally arrested America's most wanted hipster criminal, the "Skinny Jeans Bandit" [Followup]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Men’s Spa
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kibosh, banal, comptroller: Chances are, you're saying it wrong [Obvious]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Which Is a Totally Different Recipe.
Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.Denver, ColoradoOverheard by: Shannon [Link]
Fark.com RSS » DNF the Racist Troll on MLKjr Day ― but if you must, this is how it's done [Hero]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch This Murmuration of Starlings in Slow Motion
A group of starlings is known as a murmuration; Alpaca Media caught this shimmering flock in Utrecht, The Netherlands. When a predator is nearby, the starlings will launch in evasive tactics to avoid the threat. As there is safety in numbers, the flock is able to move as one and change direction almost seamlessly. The result is a seemingly sentient … [Link]
Mental Floss » How Very Noble
[Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: A Wedding in North Korea
I Crashed A North Korean Wedding And Things Got Creepy. You never know if what you’re seeing is real or staged in that nation.
*
10 Weird Body Hacks That Will Help You Get The Most Out Of Life. You may already be employing some of these ideas without even knowing it.
*
Adorable Woodland Animal Pops Out Of Tree Trunk, … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Didn't Expect Her to Take Me Literally
Coworker: And then I told her: “all I want for Christmas is a solid crap.”Puyallup, WashingtonOverheard by: glad I have a strong stomach [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman on mobility scooter tries to turn around on train platform. Since this is posted here, you can very well guess how it turns out. w/vid [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Son: Can I get a Kirby vacuum cleaner for my birthday, please? Mom: Uhhh… Kirby Salesman: Step back, I got this [Spiffy]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Craigslist prostitution sting results in… OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT? [Scary]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Congress votes to use only authentic Chinese melamine in the inevitable Keystone XL explosion fragments [Sad]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » frozenpoo says FML
Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Q
For all that has been written, said, extrapolated from, and culturally metabolized about F. Scott Fitzgerald, the last few years of his life are often dismissed as a steady downward slide from writing The Crack Up, published February 1936 in Esquire, to his premature death of a heart attack in December 1940 at just 44 years old. But it was … [Link]
FMyLife » kingkobrastrikes says FML
Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Because I Hate Talking to People
Coworker: Everyone around here has an iPhone. How do I get one of those? Drop my phone in the parking lot like you did? Drop it in my beer like Jody did? I want an iPhone!Omaha, NebraskaOverheard by: BitterBarrenSpinster [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Customer at Lowe's opens a cabinet to determine whether or not it has enough space. The snake slumbering inside didn't care for the interruption and bit the customer in the head [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Bitch Stole My Insult!
Coworker #1: You know why you got this job, right?Coworker #2: Cause I got big knockers, and an ass that won't quit?Irvine, California [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Titles Inspired by Shakespeare Phrases
In honor of William Shakespeare’s birthday tomorrow, we’ve teamed up with Uncommon Goods to create a printable party kit to celebrate the Bard! (Oh, and we're reposting some of our favorite Shakespeare stories to get you in the mood.) In creating some of the most beloved and enduring plays in the English canon, Shakespeare’s influence on writers can hardly be … [Link]
FMyLife » M. Night Shytefuck says FML
Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“There is a danger in being persuaded before one understands.” — Thomas Wilson [Link]
Mental Floss » What 11 Common Objects Would Cost in 2015 if Colonial Taxation Still Existed
It’s safe to say the American colonists were pretty upset about the taxes and tariffs imposed on imported goods in the 1760s and 1770s—upset enough to start a war. But at rates like ten shillings or a couple of pounds, the tariffs hardly sound oppressive to modern ears. That is, until you do the math to modernize the prices. Here … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kickstarter campaign from The Oatmeal creator seeks $10,000 in 30 days to fund "Exploding Kittens" card game. Hits goal in 8 minutes. Cracks $1 million inside of 5 hours. Time to start designing games [Cool]
[link] [151 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The alphabet of American craft brewers. Except for X, anyone have any suggestions for X? [Cool]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One of the biggest problems for Canadians is making ends meet when you're earning just $25,000 a month [Sad]
[link] [143 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When skyscraper construction workers goof off at work it goes to a whole new level [Amusing]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
The Onion » ‘Well, Here’s What Won’t Pass,’ Obama Says Before Listing 35 Proposals
WASHINGTON—Providing Americans with an honest preview of his agenda for 2015, President Obama delivered a brief State of the Union address Tuesday night, which consisted solely of him listing off 35 initiatives that he acknowledged will never be app… 
[Link]
The Onion » Biden’s Buffalo Wing Challenge Dinner Not Sitting Too Well
Biden’s Buffalo Wing Challenge Dinner Not Sitting Too Well 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Attention children of the '90s: you can still get McDonald's pizza. You just have to drive to Ohio or West Virginia to get it" [Cool]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The 25 Worst Passwords You Can Use
Earlier this year, tech security company SplashData released their annual "Worst Passwords" List, and if you find one of yours on it, you may want to go ahead and change that right now. In matters of online security and passwords, "worst" is synonymous with "most common." This list was culled from over 3.3 million leaked passwords (mostly from North America … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » My diddle pony offers bareback rides [Sick]
[link] [271 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Prehistoric monster shark with 300 teeth hauled in off Australia, guaranteed to give you nightmares and make you never want to go in the water again [Strange]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Aren't you glad you aren't allergic to cold weather? [Strange]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Cold Calling
Telemarketer: My name is [Adam Randor], ma’am…[Adam Randor], ma’am…Ma’am like madam, madamoiselle…No, my name isn’t ma’am…No, my name is [Adam Randor], ma’am…[Adam Randor]. Would Senorita work better? 130 West Canal Street
Winooski, Vermont Overheard by: Kelly G. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Guess I Did Mean to Sound Racist
White coworker: Hey, I don’t mean to sound racist or anything, but are you Haitian? Black coworker: Yeah, I am… But why is that racist? White coworker: Because Haitians are dirty.Outside Palms restaurant
Okinawa
Japan [Link]
Overheard In The Office » They're Notoriously Unreliable Employees, Though
Boss to office drone: Your monkey should be working.Denver, Colorado [Link]
Overheard In The Office » “Your Directory” Is Her Nickname for the Dumpster Out Back
Office manager: Could you save this file somewhere in the system, please?Receptionist: Where?Office manager: Well, save it somewhere so that I could find it easily.Receptionist, when manager leaves: Sure, bitch, I will do it, but don’t ask me if you can’t find it.Office manager, returning: Excuse me?Receptionist: Uh… I just said that I will save it in your directory, ma’am.1250 Broadway … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Walmart parking lot rage is all the…rage…these days [Amusing]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » While smoking pot is now entirely legal in the state of Washington, "puffing and passing" is still felony "marijuana distribution" according to state law [Asinine]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cubans, Isis, Taxes, and Community College will be the downfall of the U.S. and your sobriety in the official Fark SOTU discussion and drinking game thread [Spiffy]
[link] [1842 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » fun in functioning, I suppose says FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML [Link]
FMyLife » FootInMouth says FML
Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 21 Things You Might Not Know About 'Justified'
For five seasons, Timothy Olyphant has redefined the 21st-century lawman as cool-as-can-be U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens on the FX series Justified. Tonight, the show—based on a short story by the late, great Elmore Leonard, who also served as an executive producer—will begin its sixth and final season. If the previous five seasons are any indication, it’s fair to assume that … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Latest Fad
Boss: I think I'm going to start keeping a supply of Bailey's in my desk to mix with my coffee to make the day more bearable.Surprised secretary: Seriously?Boss: Not really, but it would be awesome.Secretary: I guess it would make it better.Boss: Like two cups…then you would be set for the day. And plus, your tolerance would be higher preparing you … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you give a ride to a man and woman who approach you outside of the Cock Island Bar and Grill you almost expect to be carjacked and left to knock on doors for help [Scary]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this burdensome load [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A 76 year-old woman crashed into an insurance building, has claim immediately processed [Florida]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Under the Dome, hippy version. "The trill of panpipes from a yurt wafted across the mulch hillocks" [Stupid]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
Customer on phone: Can I get reimbursed for herbal remedies through my flexible spending account?
CSR #1: No. Holocaustic medicines are not eligible for reimbursement unless you receive them as part of doctor’s visit.
CSR #2: I think you meant holistic.
CSR #1: Whatever. Same thing. 2302 International Lane
Madison, Wisconsin [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Funny: Boot to the head skit. Florida: Daycare worker reenacts scene with toddlers, caught on cam [Florida]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite pizza [Strange]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
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