Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » How to get away with just probation for conspiracy to distribute narcotics: say you're really embarrassed to have been caught. Being a prosecutor helps too [PSA]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mississippi is #1 [Spiffy]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Step 1: Read a jokey article suggesting a shop that sells potato-chip sandwiches. Step 2: Actually open a shop that sells potato-chip sandwiches. Step 3: Profit. Step 4: Negotiate the inter-continental chips/crisps/fries divide [Silly]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » badluck_jean says FML
Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police respond to reports of man with sword in train station terrifying passengers. Find role-playing teen with wooden sword, head scarf because Thursday is "Ninja Day." Good thing it wasn't "Terrorist Day" Friday [Dumbass]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » $50,000 bottle of single-malt stolen in Quebec. Police warn the thief will probably strike next when he steals some Mountain Dew for mix [Strange]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Have Your Card, Mistress Chaos
Office chick: I’m the coordinator for that program, so just holler if you get all tied up and need me to solicit someone for you.14750 Miller Avenue
Fontana, CaliforniaOverheard by: Don’t pick me [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Vulcan Society elects first female president in 75-year history. Saavik believes this to be logical [Interesting]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » OK, new island is coming out [Interesting]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice / Cry "Havoc" and let slip the Bedouins of war — Shakespear of Arabia [Cool]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I want to be a journalist so I can write headlines like this one: "Detroit-area high school student's Twitter challenge wins him prom date with ex-U of M basketball player's girlfriend" [Strange]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Gives a New Meaning to ‘Dirty Cop’
Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!Tanner Road
Greenville, South CarolinaOverheard by: Xtina [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Founder of the Home Shopping Network dies at age 79. Front row pews for the funeral are still available for anyone calling within the next ten minutes [Sad]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Want to look for your lost wallet in an outdoor dumpster? Let it go, especially on pick-up days [Scary]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this big eye [Photoshop]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Reply to Email
Co-worker #1: Does she always send emails in 72 point font?
Co-worker #2: Oh, that’s “mad” typing.
Co-worker #1: How should I respond to this?
Co-worker #3: You should reply using 86 point font.
Co-worker #2: They don’t make 86 point font. I’ve tried it before. You should use 8 point font in Bernhard Fashion BT or some other font … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Verily, man doth not live by bread alone, but by the Word of God. Unless he overdoseth on the heroin schmeared on the pages therein [Strange]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Congratulations if you had "Yemen" as the next mideast country to explode in civil war, as rebels kidnap President's Chief of Staff [Scary]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Activists seek to re-write history, prove Obama was born on foreign soil [Interesting]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS group hacks website of county government on Virginia's rural Eastern Shore. There, that'll teach 'em [Stupid]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » DrLight says FML
Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML [Link]
FMyLife » moonchic says FML
Today, my dad was looking for a flashlight in my bedroom. He trashed the place, which I'd just cleaned. Turns out the flashlight was in his bedroom. Then I got a 10 minute lecture on how I was such a slob and I should take more care of my bedroom. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I woke up from a deep sleep and needed to use my inhaler. I quickly reached for it in the dark, shook it, and sprayed it into my mouth. I'd grabbed my body spray instead. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fire in the English Channel. Europe isolated [News]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Winslow, Arizona owes its tourism industry to America's greatest rock band, The Eagles [Cool]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I wish I could come up with a witty headline or something for this, but this is just dumbassery [Asinine]
[link] [157 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Let's play inverse Mad Libs. Use the following in a sentence: shoe salesman, MMA fighter, tattoo, drug deal, crucifiction, Jesus, Grim Reaper, probation [Scary]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Residents of small Danish town agree to increase copulation to boost population [Spiffy]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Post releases Strawberry Honeycomb cereal because 40 year olds remember 1983 as a very sweet year [Spiffy]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Five-year-old boy who swallowed a battery as a toddler is finally discharged [Scary]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Don’t Get Out Much?
Employee on phone: How’s the weather there? Is it sunny?Speaker: It’s raining.Employee on phone: Oh. So is the sun shining?Des Moines, Iowa [Link]
Overheard In The Office » She Stole a Kid from a Gay Couple? That Is Low
Intern: Candace’s* mom is sixty-five! And she’s had seven kids from, like, eight different guys.1325 East-West Highway
Silver Spring, MarylandOverheard by: mathwizrd [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Remind Ourselves That We Still Have Our Freedom
Reception guy: Are you guys going on a puppy run?Worker: Nah, just going to XYZ Office*.Temp: Puppy run?Reception guy: Yeah, when we’re a bit crabby we go across the street to the pet shop and look at the puppies.Temp: Oh.Adelaide
South Australia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh look, it's time to play "Who can pay more money for a stupid piece of property in Manhattan" … that you don't really own [Dumbass]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these fitness fanatics [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Always Knew There Was Latent Phallic Imagery in The Smurfs
Thuggette: I don't know what a penis is for. I don't even know how to put a condom on. All you need to know is to put it in, take it out, wash it off, and go to sleep. It's a mushroom. A long-ass stink mushroom. Shit.Washington, DC [Link]
Weird Universe » Scotland Yard Fashion Show
On September 14, 1967, Scotland Yard held a fashion show to display the new uniforms for policewomen. I suspect this is the ONLY fashion show Scotland Yard has ever held. The caption that ran in American papers read:
"Scotland Yard, apparently bitten by the swinging London bug, holds fashion show here 9/14. Here, London policewomen display the new Norman Hartnell-designed … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Jensa says FML
Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Lesbian Space Gals of 1973
"We read PLAYBOY and PLAYGIRL magazines," laughed Capt. Evelyn Jean Parks….."
Original article here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Masha the cat hailed as hero for saving abandoned three-month-old baby with her body heat in subzero temperatures–just in time for Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [560 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Also Thought Ginsberg Was, Like, an Herb.
Coworker: Here it is: “Allen Ginsberg was a 60s era poet, most notable for the poem Howl.” Oh. I thought it was about werewolves, or vampires or something…Long Island, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pigeons cleared of espionage charges, have no egrets [Followup]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another one of those facts of life that needs repeating- no matter where you purchase it, a "protective" vest is not a "bulletproof" vest, so there's no need for you and your best friend to investigate it any further [Sad]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » No, the Roman Numeral
CSR verifying an address: “J” as in the letter “J” in the alphabet?Manhattan, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …How Was Your Wedding Night?
Chiropractor to patient: We are both usually adjusting at the same time, so it is hard to pin down one another.Englewood, ColoradoOverheard by: Receptionist [Link]
Overheard In The Office » From the Extreme Home Makeover Director's Cut
Lead designer to counter top installer: Just go drill her holes to make her shut up!Carlsbad, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Next headlines in this series from CNN: "Help, my teen's breathing oxygen" and "Help, blood is circulating through my teen's body" [Obvious]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML [Link]
FMyLife » 360whoroscoped says FML
Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » A Human Cantilever
To illustrate the design principle behind Scotland’s Forth Bridge, engineer Sir Benjamin Baker offered a personal demonstration. Sir John Fowler (left) and Baker (right) each hold two wooden poles with outstretched arms, forming two diamond shapes. When construction foreman Kaichi Watanabe sits in the center, the diamonds are prevented from tipping inward because their outer ends are anchored. It worked. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teenagers who fail to get enough sleep become alcoholics [PSA]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Get your bar towels ready: Guinness-flavored potato chips are now a reality [Cool]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 30 Behind the Scenes Facts About Blockbusters
John Green gives you a peek behind the scenes of some of your favorite movies. [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Didn't Know About Betty White
We'd like to toast this ever-sassy senior star with a collection of fun facts about her life and legacy. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The hipsterest bicycle EVER MADE. Bow before your artisanal coffee bike barista lords on wheels [Cool]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Can't sell the haunted site of an FBI shootout with the Ma Barker gang? Turn it into a museum [Florida]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh you don't like Bud Light? Well what if there was a phone app that delivered it to you in an hour? Oh wait, there is [Cool]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » F-35s to be declared 'combat ready,' even as they iron out bugs in the on-board software. On the plus side, the software is now reliable enough to start the jet and maintain stable flight. But all that war fighting stuff, not so much [Scary]
[link] [207 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's your basic boy meets girl story, except for the part about the boy being the girl's father [Weird]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Prepare a Coelacanth
Until the coelacanth was rediscovered in 1938, scientists assumed this prehistoric-looking fish had gone extinct 65 million years ago. The latest episode of the American Museum of Natural History's series Shelf Life delves into the history of the museum's specimen, which was acquired in 1962. These now-endangered fish can live 60 years, grow up to 6.5 feet long, and weigh … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » More Australian NOPE bought to you by Queensland's Gold Coast [Scary]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The story of the famous 1948 beaver airlift [Strange]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pot-based sexual lubricant designed specifically for women goes on sale in Colorado. QUEEFER MADNESS [Repeat]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I'd Never Heard That About Jello
Elegant lady to another: I don't know… I mean if you do, it really plays havoc with your wiggly bits.Dublin
Ireland [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Would You Like Some Ethnic Slurs With That?
Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Anymore.
Store manager: Someone smells like a hamster!Startled employee: What?Store manager, sniffing startled employee: It's you! You smell like a hamster!Startled employee: I don't own a hamster.Toy Store
Bridgewater, New JerseyOverheard by: Startled Customer [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Is This a Trap?
Customer service rep to client: Yeah, you just did the opposite of what I just said. But that's fine. You can do it that way.Columbus, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Hello 8 Mile
Guy reading the paper: Elton John is going to try hip hop.Young co-worker: That’s weird.Gay co-worker: Who’s Elton John?5500 Rings RoadColumbus, OhioOverheard by: amazed he didn’t know [Link]
FMyLife » phones says FML
Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The City Without Water
Porterville, CA is a city that has been relying exclusively on well water. Unfortunately, those wells are drying up, and over 500 families are living without running water. Luckily there are good-doers like Donna Johnson who are bringing water to deprived households. Here's a look at what life is like there. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The world's weirdest way of saying 'yes' is found in Northern Sweden [Strange]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these goofy faces [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In England, watching a guy hump a mailbox can net you $75. Around these parts, we just call it Friday night [Strange]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » “Making a Sandwich,” You Say?
Customer, looking at a damaged mobile home: How did that happen?Mechanic: The guy put it on cruise control and went into the back to make a sandwich.Repair Center
EnglandOverheard by: Rob [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Mousey Facts About Mussaurus
Scientists know little about what growing up in the age of dinosaurs was like, but Mussaurus can help us better explore this intriguing subject. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Labrador retrieved (Not safe for work content in sidebar) [Interesting]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Marfo101 says FML
Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to … [Link]
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