John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » "Look, there are hundreds of studies on Greenland's rapidly melting ice sheet alone. If you could just skim the abstract of one of those-just one, that's it-that would be great" [Satire]

Wednesday 14 January 23:50:54 UTC 2015

Satire [link] [87 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » middleagednurse says FML

Wednesday 14 January 23:49:38 UTC 2015

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML [Link]

FMyLife » ihateeverything says FML

Wednesday 14 January 23:35:56 UTC 2015

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Owner of Hot Springs, AR gun range who declared her business to be a "Muslim free zone" has gone from a "AW talking smack on Facebook" to "about to be sued" as she turns away a brown-skinned father and son she thought MIGHT be

Wednesday 14 January 23:22:38 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [240 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Near-Death Experience That Inspired the First Patented Down Jacket

Wednesday 14 January 22:30:00 UTC 2015

Many of us couldn’t imagine enduring these chilly winter months without down jackets—they keep us warm without weighing a ton. The outerwear was first patented in the U.S. in 1940 by Eddie Bauer; it would become his most iconic and successful product and change the nature of his business, taking it from a local storefront to a nationally known brand. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Montana man says oral is worth $500k [Interesting]

Wednesday 14 January 22:16:33 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman reports son missing. Tells cops he left home in 1995 to follow Grateful Dead [Strange]

Wednesday 14 January 22:14:19 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [90 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Police: John Boehner's Country Club Bartender Planned To Poison Him

Wednesday 14 January 22:01:00 UTC 2015

A former bartender at John Boehner's country club was arrested after reporting to police that he planned to poison the House Speaker by putting something in his drink, saying he believed the top Republican was responsible for Ebola.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » There is a reason you can't win an argument on the internet, and it's because you're wrong. Nah, I'm kidding, it has something to do with dwarves [Obvious]

Wednesday 14 January 21:46:59 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas executes at least seven inmates simultaneously [Sad]

Wednesday 14 January 21:45:33 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [103 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » kronic1990 says FML

Wednesday 14 January 21:35:22 UTC 2015

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Korean restaurant offers free meals every day to the 50 most attractive customers. Ugly people still only pay once [Strange]

Wednesday 14 January 21:34:56 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How epic has Bitcoin's fall been? Even the Ruble is worth more now [Fail]

Wednesday 14 January 21:20:14 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [181 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this winter express [Photoshop]

Wednesday 14 January 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Gambling Hacks

Wednesday 14 January 21:00:00 UTC 2015

If you have a lot of time on your hands, a lot of money to invest, and an appetite for deception, you might be able to make use of these hacks that let you cheat the odds at gambling. Contains some NSFW language. * Quick! Look at the fastest things in the universe. * Rise and shine. Check out the … [Link]

The Onion » Scout Returns With News Of Quicker Checkout Line To The East

Wednesday 14 January 20:19:00 UTC 2015

SALINAS, CA—After venturing forth into the vast, unexplored territory beyond the battery display, a scout is said to have returned from the farthest reaches of the Safeway cashier lanes with word of a quicker checkout line to the east, sources confi…
[Link]

The Onion » Area Dad Didn’t Shell Out $100 At Aquarium For Lecture About Ecosystem

Wednesday 14 January 20:18:00 UTC 2015

MYSTIC, CT—Expressing frustration while viewing the Mystic Aquarium’s stingray exhibit with his family, local dad Jeff Palmer told reporters Wednesday that he didn’t shell out $100 of his hard-earned cash just to listen to a lecture abou…
[Link]

The Onion » Report: Only 2% Of Internet Worth Sitting Through 15-Second Ad

Wednesday 14 January 20:16:00 UTC 2015

IRVINE, CA—Suggesting that only a miniscule fraction of the internet warranted even a slight delay before viewing, a report released Wednesday by the University of California, Irvine, indicated that just 2 percent of all online content was worth sit…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man jailed for breaking into police station and cooking ravioli and Weetabix [Hero]

Wednesday 14 January 20:11:26 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [50 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: McDonald’s Announces Brand Transformation

Wednesday 14 January 20:09:51 UTC 2015

Here are some of the changes underway
[Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Should you buy a selfie stick?

Wednesday 14 January 19:52:56 UTC 2015

Should you buy a selfie stick?A handy guide for shoppers.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bodies recovered from Ganges river in India. Um, isn't that the point? [Misc]

Wednesday 14 January 19:42:25 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [58 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Woman’s Parents Accepting Of Mixed-Attractiveness Relationship

Wednesday 14 January 19:37:00 UTC 2015

CHICAGO—Admitting it took them some time to come around to the idea, the parents of local woman Laura Stevens said Wednesday that they had finally accepted their daughter’s mixed-attractiveness relationship with Kyle Baker, a man who is consid…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Words of the Year from Other Countries

Wednesday 14 January 19:30:00 UTC 2015

The U.S. words of the year for 2014 included vape, culture, and #blacklivesmatter. But what about the rest of the world? Here are the word of the year winners from 13 other countries. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 12 words that have new meanings thanks to the internet. Wait, that's not how this works. That's not how any of this works [Interesting]

Wednesday 14 January 19:26:29 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you had to make an emergency candle you could make one out of butter, crayons, or oranges [PSA]

Wednesday 14 January 19:22:03 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Science Proves That Feeling Cold Is Contagious

Wednesday 14 January 19:15:00 UTC 2015

To avoid the chills this winter, you should pile on your sweater, jacket, mittens—and blinders. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why yes, as a matter of fact it -IS- too soon [Asinine]

Wednesday 14 January 19:07:39 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [186 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: Peyton Manning Played Entire Season With 38-Year-Old Body

Wednesday 14 January 19:04:00 UTC 2015

DENVER—After a lackluster performance in his team’s playoff loss to the Indianapolis Colts, reports emerged Wednesday that Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning played the entire 2014 season with a 38-year-old body.
[Link]

Mental Floss » This Guy Uses a Power Glove For Work

Wednesday 14 January 18:48:44 UTC 2015

Dillon Markey makes stop-motion animation for Robot Chicken and PES. The animation process calls for him to move the characters (and/or the camera) on a miniature stage, and then compare the current frame with the previous frame on a monitor—or even run through a set of recent frames. It's a lot of precise, repetitive work. So, like a boss, Markey … [Link]

The Onion » U.S. Government Offers 100 Million Americans Generous Severance Deal To Leave Country

Wednesday 14 January 18:33:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—In an effort to make the nation a leaner, more dynamic international force, the United States government is reportedly offering 100 million American citizens generous severance deals to leave the country, sources confirmed Wednesday.
[Link]

Mental Floss » How Lyrics Websites Transcribe Gibberish

Wednesday 14 January 18:30:00 UTC 2015

Beyond the ongoing misadventures of the record industry, music on the internet may be an even bigger disaster than you realized—even the simplest of indexes are in trouble. At the other end of nearly any song-related search query, scores of sites stuffed to the gills with lyrics brutally fight their way to the front of the line using the darkest … [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Wednesday 14 January 18:07:37 UTC 2015

meretriculate
v. to deceive in the manner of a prostitute BOW-STREET — Eliza Merchant, a black-eyed girl, of that class of women known as ‘unfortunates,’ was charged by Garnet Comerford, a sailor, with robbing him of four sovereigns, several dollars and half-crowns, and his shoes. The tar stated that on Wednesday evening, about eight o’clock he left the house of … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 14 January 17:50:26 UTC 2015

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Amazing Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Benjamin Franklin

Wednesday 14 January 17:33:25 UTC 2015

Before he was a Founding Father, the multifaceted, ever-experimental Benjamin Franklin was a great many other things—from street performer to political cartoonist, and even a middle-aged widow. Here are a few highlights of Franklin’s early days. 1. He Was a Great Swimmer Young Ben was such an aquatic ace that his feats eventually earned him a posthumous induction into the … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Weighing In

Wednesday 14 January 17:33:20 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Men accused of taking lamb chops in Washington burglary. Hush Puppy and Charlie Horse hope to see them prosecuted to the fullest extent extent of the law [Fail]

Wednesday 14 January 17:21:34 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OK, last time: You can't mail drugs to your buddy in prison – they search the mail [Fail]

Wednesday 14 January 17:18:48 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York may make declawing cats illegal [Hero]

Wednesday 14 January 17:15:17 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [464 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Senate to vote on whether climate change is real or not. Subby hopes they vote against it as we've got enough problems already [Unlikely]

Wednesday 14 January 17:14:56 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [187 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer truck crashes. Kegs spill. Traffic jam brewing [Sad]

Wednesday 14 January 17:11:19 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man goes from coach to private single passenger Delta chartered flight Difficulty: No upgrade fee [Amusing]

Wednesday 14 January 17:09:32 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You mean you can actually track my movements with this tracking tag? [Dumbass]

Wednesday 14 January 17:02:41 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch this Guy Serve as an Incubator for Bot Flies

Wednesday 14 January 17:00:00 UTC 2015

Confession: I'm kind of obsessed with bot flies. In fact, I've probably watched every single bot fly larvae removal video on YouTube. So I was obviously predisposed to enjoy this short documentary by entomologist Piotr Naskrecki, who became host to three human bot fly (Dermatobia hominis) larvae after he traveled to Belize last year. But even if you're not obsessed, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Large-testicled squirrel gives its life so Ohio schoolchildren can have a half-day [Hero]

Wednesday 14 January 16:57:22 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Watch newly released surveillance video of woman wasting perfectly good sausages and bacon inside a police station [Followup]

Wednesday 14 January 16:41:02 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Buy a beginner's guitar. Stash it under the bed for 73 years. Profit [Spiffy]

Wednesday 14 January 16:16:08 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If the bus driver should miss your stop, you should…C) lob a hand grenade at him [Scary]

Wednesday 14 January 16:13:37 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wallaby missing from petting zoo in Washington state, rumored to have run off with an overweight steer and a neurotic turtle [Misc]

Wednesday 14 January 16:13:36 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Four words: Drive-by potato attack [Strange]

Wednesday 14 January 16:13:24 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Irish nationals now following road to ISIS. Thanks, O'Bama [Sad]

Wednesday 14 January 16:12:01 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You don't have to be pretty to get a job as a 'party mingler' during the week of the Super Bowl, but it sure helps [Obvious]

Wednesday 14 January 16:11:03 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Fun Facts About Winnie The Pooh

Wednesday 14 January 16:00:00 UTC 2015

The "willy nilly silly old bear" was based on a real-life bear cub. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Al Qaeda in Yemen would like the world to know that Yemen isn't enough of a smoking crater yet and if the French would be so kind as to smoke them up some more [Followup]

Wednesday 14 January 15:56:17 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An awkward birthday party is when you're outed in front of your grandmother for being a porn star on TV all because you complained of a dirty plate at a restaurant. So much for TV nights [Dumbass]

Wednesday 14 January 15:54:50 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [116 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Men Who Post Selfies More Likely To Be Narcissists, Psychopaths

Wednesday 14 January 15:50:00 UTC 2015

According to a new study, men who post self-portraits, or “selfies,” on the internet are more likely to be narcissists and show signs of the antisocial trait psychopathy.
[Link]

The Onion » Onion Poll: Should Race Be Taken Into Account In College Admissions?

Wednesday 14 January 15:21:00 UTC 2015

The Onion – America's Finest News Source
[Link]

The Onion » New Climate Change Study Just 400 Pages Of Scientists Telling Americans To Read Previous Climate Change Studies

Wednesday 14 January 15:12:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Co-authored by several dozen of the nation’s top climatologists, a new climate change study released Wednesday by the U.S.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Normally, being arrested for domestic assault would be terrible news for a mayoral candidate. Of course, in this case, it took the "arrested for threatening a man with an AR-15 rifle in a park" out of the news cycle. Mostly [Dumbass]

Wednesday 14 January 15:06:08 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We're gonna need a bigger motorboat [Scary]

Wednesday 14 January 15:04:54 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop who (or what) should be on this milk carton [Photoshop]

Wednesday 14 January 14:30:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Did Americans Really Call French Fries "Freedom Fries"?

Wednesday 14 January 14:30:00 UTC 2015

Taylor writes: I'm a high school student and my history teacher just told us about how the United States once called French fries "freedom fries" to spite France. Please tell me he's joking. Yes, there was a time when some Americans decided to call French fries "freedom fries"—embarrassingly, a number of those people happened to be elected officials in the … [Link]

Weird Universe » Young’s Rectal Dilators

Wednesday 14 January 14:20:12 UTC 2015

These things were widely advertised in newspapers during the early 20th Century, promoted as a "guaranteed cure" for just about everything, but particularly for piles and constipation. As the American Journal of Gastroenterology notes, they do actually have some legitimate medical uses. But in 1940 the federal government sued the Dr. Young company for making misleading claims, and after that … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » It's Times Like This a Man Really Craves a Cigarette

Wednesday 14 January 14:07:00 UTC 2015

Manager: Finally finished after the system went down on me, twice.Omaha, Nebraska [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Let’s Say, ‘Within This Fiscal Year’

Wednesday 14 January 14:06:59 UTC 2015

Dad: I swear, I am going to break her arm by the time she is two.Mom: She is two.Dad: Three, then.Outback Steakhouse
Green Brook, New Jersey [Link]

Overheard In The Office » At Least, Not Here

Wednesday 14 January 14:06:58 UTC 2015

Customer: … But the sign outside says it’s $1.99.Cashier: That’s the meat and potato burrito. You ordered chicken. That’s not meat.301 Water Street
Eau Claire, Wisconsin [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Yes! Another Big Win for Strategic Incompetence!

Wednesday 14 January 14:06:57 UTC 2015

Sales manager: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill everything out beforehand?Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped overseas?Sales manager: Yes, to Kuwait.Mail room guy: Is that overseas?Sales manager: It's in the Middle East!Mail room guy: East Coast?Sales manager: No, the Middle East! It's international.Mail room guy: The East Coast is not international.Sales manager: I'll … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » A Cover Charge Keeps Out the Riffraff

Wednesday 14 January 14:06:56 UTC 2015

Company owner: I don’t shove anything up my ass unless it costs at least 50 dollars.Bonner Springs, Kansas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Probably Asphaltzheimer's Disease

Wednesday 14 January 14:06:55 UTC 2015

Engineer to another: Don't you just love it when Mark* comes up to your desk and throws down a recipe for soup and asks you where to buy asphalt? And he keeps pointing at it!New York City, New YorkOverheard by: jt [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch

Wednesday 14 January 14:06:54 UTC 2015

Employee #1: Guess what I had for lunch?
Employee #2: Judging from the shit-eating grin on your face I’ll guess you tossed a salad. 9200 West Wisconsin Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But Together…

Wednesday 14 January 14:00:19 UTC 2015

Portly woman #1: You want half? It's thick, seriously… I can't finish that off.Portly woman #2: I don't know if I'm up for that kinda mouthful today.Delran, New JerseyOverheard by: Bruce Banner [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "One person told me that in fact they weren't just regular Jews that were doing this, in fact they were a race of magical Jews, shape shifting Jews, master manipulators that could be everywhere at the same time" [Unlikely]

Wednesday 14 January 14:00:18 UTC 2015

Unlikely [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you really want the quintessential American experience you need to run with the mountain goats of Glacier National Park or chill with the pink flamingos of the Everglades [Obvious]

Wednesday 14 January 13:55:13 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 14 January 13:16:59 UTC 2015

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » American astronauts defect to Russia [Scary]

Wednesday 14 January 13:12:20 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hungry this morning? How about a 59-item, 8000-calorie breakfast? [Strange]

Wednesday 14 January 13:09:59 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Paul Revere

Wednesday 14 January 12:59:08 UTC 2015

Everyone knows about Paul Revere’s midnight ride, but this patriot did a lot more to help America gain its independence. Here are 11 little-known facts about the Founding Father. 1. His father was a Huguenot. Revere’s father, Apollos Rivoire, was a French Huguenot refugee who fled his country as a result of religious persecution. He was born in Riocaud in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Her parents, although divorced, were loving and sent her to the best private schools they could afford, all while ensuring she never wanted for anything. Yet by the age of 12 she became a cannabis user and swiftly descended into drug addiction&#

Wednesday 14 January 12:50:16 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » America's 10 best and 10 worst states for education. The good news: no state got an F. The bad news: no state got an A [Interesting]

Wednesday 14 January 12:39:01 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When the mall beckons, your five-year old can babysit your one-year old in the parking lot. In the freezing cold. With your pot pipe [Stupid]

Wednesday 14 January 11:53:22 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 3PM Assigning Personnel

Wednesday 14 January 11:52:49 UTC 2015

Account manager: Hey, [the customer] wants us to come in and make a presentation. Are you available to come with me next week?
Sales director: No. What I’m planning to do is to put together an entire project team — sales, marketing, engineering, quality, manufacturing, maybe even finance. I want to show that we have a comprehensive cross-functional team in … [Link]

Weird Universe » Pop Art Fridges

Wednesday 14 January 11:21:00 UTC 2015

Come to think of it, why can't you buy fridges nowadays with decorated fronts?

Original article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Research reveals the latest trigger for lung cancer: Oxygen. Well, we're screwed now [Scary]

Wednesday 14 January 11:01:00 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch This Machinery Peel Carrots So You Don't Have To

Wednesday 14 January 10:30:00 UTC 2015

Peeling carrots or potatoes is a chore, so there's something extremely satisfying about watching a conveyor belt of razors rip through a bunch of carrots. The blue rollers keep the veggies moving through a series of peelers—kind of like a car wash of knives! Ribbons of skin fall into a giant bin, and the finished carrots are packed neatly in … [Link]

Mental Floss » Weighing In

Wednesday 14 January 10:15:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

FMyLife » RipeFlame says FML

Wednesday 14 January 10:05:25 UTC 2015

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Most Stylish Musicians

Wednesday 14 January 9:30:30 UTC 2015

Music’s 40 Greatest Style Icons, Ranked. Everyone will disagree with a few, but it’s an overall pretty good list.
*
Celebrating Diversity In Hollywood. Fred Willard hosts the Men in Film conference in a Funny or Die parody.
*
War of the Worlds and the Blockbuster Legacy of George Pal. The 1953 film holds up pretty well even 60 years later.
* … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 14 January 8:50:32 UTC 2015

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nancy Grace gets smoked trying to force her reefer madness on rapper '2 Chainz' [Cool]

Wednesday 14 January 8:33:00 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Saudi cleric issues fatwa against those who want to build a snowman. Followers on social media suggest that he let it go. Of course it's Saudi Arabia, so the cold never bothered them anyway [Repeat]

Wednesday 14 January 7:41:57 UTC 2015

Repeat [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Real Size of Underwater Giants

Wednesday 14 January 7:30:00 UTC 2015

PeerJ. Click to enlarge. You think you know how big the animals in our oceans can get, but you're probably wrong. Craig McClain, assistant director of the National Evolutionary Synthesis Center in Durham, North Carolina, was inspired to write a paper on the prevalence of faulty information about the size of different sea creatures when, a few years ago, he … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Jeez, You Don’t Leave Me Much Room to Maneuver

Wednesday 14 January 7:23:58 UTC 2015

Co-Worker #1: Hey, I got a new joke. Anyone want to hear it?Co-Worker #2: Not if it involves poop.Co-Worker #3: Or chickens.Washington, DCOverheard by: disturbed [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They Make Less-Expensive Bad Decisions

Wednesday 14 January 7:23:57 UTC 2015

Office grunt: … And that’s why you should only have stupid children.Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch

Wednesday 14 January 7:23:49 UTC 2015

Co-worker #1: Hey, what are you doing?
Co-worker #2: Nothing.
Co-worker #1: What time are you going to lunch?
Co-worker #2: I was gonna go in a little bit.
Co-worker #1: Know what? I was too. C’mon, let’s go take a pee, then we’ll go to lunch. 1450 Chapel Street
New Haven, Connecticut [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The pathway to get back to the middle class for some is to bring back apprenticeships [Interesting]

Wednesday 14 January 6:39:34 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Sam Adams

Wednesday 14 January 6:17:46 UTC 2015

His name comes up in lots of conversations about beer, but Samuel Adams was an American patriot and a huge influence on the Revolutionary War. Here are a few things you may not know about this founding father. 1. Samuel Adams came from a prominent family. The Adams clan was a very politically active family in Boston; John (destined to … [Link]

Futility Closet » Fun With Refraction

Wednesday 14 January 6:03:08 UTC 2015

To show that one can focus sounds waves as well as light waves, Lord Rayleigh would place a ticking pocket watch beyond the earshot of a listener, then introduce a balloon filled with carbon dioxide between them. The balloon acted as a “sound lens” to concentrate the sound, and the listener could hear the watch ticking. Rayleigh would sometimes set … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NPR asks the question: How do we learn to like the foods we once hated? Well, we grow wiser, more willing to try new things, more worldly in our tastes and appreciations. EXCEPT FOR YOU, BROCCOLI, YOU CAN BURN IN HELL [Interesting]

Wednesday 14 January 6:01:31 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [140 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Office Discontinued “Nitrous Wednesdays” After Just One Week

Wednesday 14 January 6:00:41 UTC 2015

Male coworker: Why are you laughing so hard?Female coworker: I have absolutely no idea, but her head is in my crotch!Fairfax, Virginia [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Madison police chief tired of his officers getting blamed for "everything from male pattern baldness to global warming" [Hero]

Wednesday 14 January 5:55:47 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Then We Invaded Iraq

Wednesday 14 January 4:57:46 UTC 2015

Worker bee: I love the smell of gasoline. I’d sniff gasoline all day long, if it wouldn’t, you know, kill you.2000 East El Segundo Boulevard
El Segundo, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Young designer is holding pins in his mouth, while getting things ready for his big fashion show. Friend cracks a joke. What could possibly go wrong? [Scary]

Wednesday 14 January 4:50:23 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: British Plan Naval Attack on Dardanelles

Wednesday 14 January 4:00:56 UTC 2015

Erik Sass is covering the events of World War I exactly 100 years later. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Before I Go in and Ask This Focus Group of Five-Year-Olds

Wednesday 14 January 3:50:14 UTC 2015

Customer service associate to graphic artist: Yeah, I just wanted to get your uninformed opinion on that file.Nashville, Tennessee [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Interested in the physiological effects of consuming 50 Chicken McNuggets© in one sitting? Here's a subjective account of the ordeal [Amusing]

Wednesday 14 January 3:41:17 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » H.G. Wells, who imagined "the time machine" with time as the fourth dimension, and Einstein, who perfected the scientific notion of time as the fourth dimension, met in 1929. A fascinating story [Interesting]

Wednesday 14 January 3:21:39 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Um, What Do They Normally Do?

Wednesday 14 January 2:48:38 UTC 2015

Boss: You look nice today.Employee: Thanks, I wore a bra.Bystander: Wait, what?Employee, demonstrating: See… Look, the girls are free and easy today. They can do cirles too. Too bad I don’t have any tassles.Elm Street
Coalinga, CaliforniaOverheard by: Still losing the TMI Olympics [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good guy with gun successfully takes down good guy with gun [Dumbass]

Wednesday 14 January 2:22:27 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dead body of aspiring actress found in city water tank after residents complain of "strange taste." Eau de humanity [Sick]

Wednesday 14 January 2:12:29 UTC 2015

Sick [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work

Wednesday 14 January 1:41:44 UTC 2015

Supervisor: We have a call-out
Boss: Why’s he calling out?
Supervisor: Says his house caught fire.
Boss: Bullshit! Tell him we want a pic of him fighting the fucking fire! Then we’ll authorize the call-out! 731 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY Overheard by: RedManInc [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police fail to locate dead bodies reported by spear-wielding man, but do find his 16 grams of meth [Amusing]

Wednesday 14 January 1:01:34 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have at it, gentlefolk [Photoshop]

Wednesday 14 January 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soldier who was deployed to Africa on Ebola fighting mission is found dead out side his TX home of NOT EBOLA [Sad]

Wednesday 14 January 0:46:26 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Want to Know Why I Called You

Wednesday 14 January 0:37:56 UTC 2015

Manager: Excuse me, sir, do you have me on speakerphone?Guy: No, you have me on speakerphone!Manager: Oh, look at that. Sorry, this is a bad connection — are you on a cell phone?Guy: Yes, you called my cell phone.Manager: Oh, right. Do you have a desk phone I can call?Guy: No, you called my cell because I am not in the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Congress is supposed to represent America, so how come they're overwhelmingly more Christian than the rest of America? [Interesting]

Wednesday 14 January 0:35:21 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [202 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Maiar says FML

Wednesday 14 January 0:18:49 UTC 2015

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML [Link]

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